Tag: family

3 years

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at around 12:30 a.m. I didn’t feel right; my body ached, my heart hurt. As I slowly got up, I turned off the lights, gave Charlie, my chocolate lab puppy, a kiss, and went upstairs to bed. I felt terrible and thought it must have been the ice cream I had for dessert since sugar doesn’t really agree with me any longer. In the morning, at 6:33 a.m., I awoke with tears in my eyes—literal tears. This is incredibly rare, as the last time this happened was when it felt like my dad came to visit me while I was sleeping. None of this made sense until I remembered what day it was: October 7th. Three years.

Three years ago, my life was very different. I was running a major organization, my life was incredibly busy, I had a tremendous amount of stress and pressure in my life, I had physical health challenges, I was worried about the rise of Jew hatred and had become a regular on the local TV news talking about the growth of hatred, specifically Jew hatred, and how we were being targeted in Central Florida and around the country. Hate groups had moved to Central Florida since it was an inexpensive place to find housing for them, and they could easily drive to major cities in the state in a short period of time. The world was challenging, but the fight was on, and the media was supporting the Jewish community and what we were facing.

On the morning of October 7th, I sat down with a cup of coffee in my living room, turned on the TV and could not believe what I was seeing. The massacre. The cars on the street with doors open, dead bodies on the street and inside the cars. The stories being told by the newscasters. One image remains buried in my memory. The car passenger door is open. The father is in the drivers seat, dead with his head on the steering wheel. His young daughter’s body resting on his shoulder, also dead. I felt the brutality. I heard about the Nova festival but couldn’t imagine what was really happening there.

I started sending WhatsApp messages to my friends in Israel to check on them. They were all in safe rooms or shelters. They were all in WhatsApp groups getting updates. They were all scared and not sure what was happening. I was terrified for my friends, especially those living anywhere in the south of Israel. It was a constant check-in during the day while I sat in front of the television, shocked, scared, angry, and terrified by what I was watching.

My friend, the Consul General of Israel to Florida, called to check on me. He told me to turn off the TV, that it wasn’t healthy to keep watching. I couldn’t. Senator Rick Scott called to check on me. It’s a call I will never forget. He didn’t have an aide call; he didn’t send a message. He picked up his own personal cell phone and called to check on me.

I spent the day working with others in the community to put together a vigil for Sunday. We invited politicians and the community. The room was packed. The politicians showed up, and the community bonded. I thought it was the start of healing, but I was sorely mistaken.

Since then, I have worked with the Israeli consulate to host a showing of the Hamas 47-minute video. I saw things I will never forget: images that cannot be explained. I have been back to Israel seven times and will be back twice more this year, including a trip in just ten days from now. I have been to Kfar Aza three times. The things I saw at Kfar Aza in May 2024 were horrific. The brutality was still visible. It was agonizing. As a friend of mine said, it was like being at Auschwitz just after liberation.

I have been the Nova Festival site three times, heard the amazing and heroic Rami Davidian, who saved 750 people from the Nova Festival, speak three times, and been there when it was just some family markers, when it had been upgraded by the families, and most recently when it has been taken over by Jewish National Fund (JNF) and now chronicals what happened. It’s never easy to be there. The first two times I was there, we finished our visit by singing. It felt right to bring music back to the site of the music festival filled with joy that turned into terror and mass murder. It felt like we were honoring those murdered, raped, and taken hostage.

I made sandwiches at Shlomi’s food truck outside Kibbutz Be’eri and brought them to soldiers on the base going into Gaza. I’ve spent time at Hostage Square, listened to the stories of hostage families and hostages, heard the stories from survivors of the Nova Festival, and talked with friends of mine who fought the terrorists on October 7th and for the next 3 years. People who have spent over 500 days in miluim (reserve duty). The stories are horrifying. Yet the world remains silent and chooses to push the genocide libel.

Today was filled with deep emotions. I found myself thinking about all that has happened since October 7th. The horror of the 7th. The joy of the hostages coming home. The devastation when we learned a hostage was dead. I saw this video the other day and it haunts me. When we thought the Bibas family was alive, I put their pictures on chairs at my Passover Seder table. As the father of two boys, about the same age difference as Arial and Kfir, it was personal for me. Their murder devastated me. Then I saw this video of Ariel meeting Kfir for the first time. It ripped my heart. As you watch these two beautiful boys, beautiful brothers, remember that Hamas literally choked the life out of them. That’s who we are talking about. Terrorists who not only kidnapped children but strangled them with theri bare hands.

I thought of my friend’s cousin Hila, who was taken hostage at age 12 along with her mother. She was released the day before her 13th birthday, while her mother remained as a Hamas hostage for two more days. Since she and her mother were hostages, we knew there would be no presents, and that was not acceptable. Her cousin and I raised some money, created Amazon lists for people to buy the things she wanted, and used the money raised to buy the things that weren’t available on Amazon. Through a friend and former student who is high up at Rare Beauty, we got a donation from them of the items that Hila wanted. We sent multiple suitcases of gifts to her. Her mother recorded a video of her opening the suitcases and the presents and sent it to us. When I saw the joy on her face, it gave me hope for all the hostages. It’s a miracle that so many of them came home alive.

I thought of all the people who deny October 7th happened. Who deny the murders, the kidnapping, the conditions the hostages were held in, the rapes and sexual assault. The brutality of the murders. How important it was that General Eisenhower demanded his soldiers take pictures of the concentration camps they were liberating because in the future people would try to deny it. Here, Hamas took the videos and posted them, yet people still deny them. I thought today about how we need to share the videos once again. That we can’t be afraid of the trauma of watching them. The world must see what really happened. Most will not ever get to Israel to see it first hand. They are watching Fauda and seeing episodes 7 and 8. They are reporting how they never understood October 7th until they saw those episodes. Our words haven’t worked. The images and videos can. I remember seeing this video of the IDF first discovering what happened at Nova. The despair in the IDF soldier’s voice as he discovers everybody is dead haunts me.

It’s hard to believe it has only been 3 years ago. It’s also hard to believe it’s already been 3 years. The changes I have seen in Israel on each visit since October 7th are astounding. As I prepare to go back in 10 days, I’m not sure what to expect. The country is dealing with the trauma of October 7th. The election will happen while I’m there. As a number of former Israeli diplomats have said to me, this election is for the soul of Israel. Israelis are flying in to vote. It will be yet another experience that helps me understand the realities of Israel.

People want Israel to be black and white. It’s not. Like my emotions related to October 7th, Israel is complicated and nuanced. October 7th isn’t. Hamas brutally murdered, raped, kidnapped, and mutilated people. They burned people alive. Those they took hostage were treated inhumanely. Sexually assaulted. Beaten. Starved.

Three years ago my life was filled with stress and health issues. Three years later, I no longer have that stress. The health issues all resolved. My career takes me to Israel 3 or so times each year for between 1 and 3 weeks each trip. I have come to understand Israel much deeper. I spend time in the West Bank on these trips, meeting with Palestinians who are now colleagues and friends. I understand them much deeper as well.

October 7, 2023 ripped away part of my soul that will never return. The scarring and the fracture is there forever. It has given me new insights in the Jew hatred that is around us. It will always be around us. When things in the world aren’t going well, the world always looks for somebody to blame. Throughout history, it has been the Jews. It will continue to be the Jews. That’s our reality. The difference this time is that we have Israel. Unlike in the past when we have been defenseless, we are no longer those people. For many of the Jew haters this makes it worse. They’d like to hate us, have us go away, blame us for whatever the problems they are facing, and if many of us die, they don’t care. Israel has changed the reality. We aren’t going away. We aren’t going to be silent.

We also can’t go to the extremes. I’ve seen friends go to the far left, blaming Israel and the Jews for everything. I’ve seen friends go to the far right, believing that there are no good Palestinians, no good Muslims. I call them both out. That simply isn’t true and only continues the cycle of hate. Yes there are terrorists who are Muslim. As I said to a friend of mine on this issue, if you have 2 billion muslims and 1 percent are terrorists, that’s still 20 million terrorists. If it’s 0.1 percent, that’s still 2 million terrorists. That means there are 99% or 99.9% that are not. We can not generalize. Yes the Palestinian Authority is corrupt. Abbas has not held elections in over 20 years. If we look at Israel and the United States, are our governments so much better? We have plenty of corrupt politicians in Israel and the US. Smotrich and Ben Gvir match up to any of the Arab or other world corrupt leaders.

What I have learned from October 7th is that it is all about people. People to people connections. Getting beyond the stereotypes. Getting beyond the lies every community is told about ‘the other’. Not everybody thinks the way the west thinks. We need to understand and accept that. Not everybody has the same values, morals, and ethics. We need to understand that and then find those who share ours and work together with them to make a better world.

Nobody is going to fix the world for us. Nobody is going to solve the worlds problems by blaming and working to eliminate the group they think are responsible for the world’s problems. It is up to each of us to do our part, however small it is, to repair the world. To build relationships that change the daily lives of those we can impact. I won’t fix America’s problems by myself. I won’t fix Israel’s problems by myself. I won’t solve the Palestinian’s problems by myself. But I can make some American’s lives better. I can make some Israeli’s lives better. I can make some Palestinian’s lives better. Let’s each look at what we can individually do. Get others to join us and our groups do more together than each of us separately. Despair, anger, and hate is not the answer. Love is. Community is.

It is now October 8, 2026. The start of year 4 since the horrifying events of October 7th. My committment is to spend the next year doing what I can to change and improve the lives of those that I actually can. I hope you will join me. Together we can change and save the world. Or we can allow it to devolve and implode. The choice is ours. I hope we all hear the classic words from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. “You have chosen wisely.” Each of our actions will determine what happens.

High Holiday thoughts

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I am very open with the fact that I am very Jewish, very spiritual, love Jewish traditions, enjoy learning Jewish texts and how they apply to my life today, and that I am not very religious and don’t really enjoy services. For many years now, when it comes to Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, I have chosen to find my own way to connect with God, to contemplate the year that has passed, what I have done well and what I have struggled with, who I have harmed and who I want to be in the upcoming year. I find my connection much more in nature – at the beach or sitting in my back yard enjoying the beauty of the world. It gives me time and a way to really think about who I am, who I want to be, what matters to me, and connect, in my own way, with God. For Sukkot I don’t usually build a Sukkah but choose to spend time outside underneath trees and looking at the greenery, as if I was actually sitting in a Sukkah. I say this so you understand where I am coming from, not advocating that anybody do what I do. I do advocate that everybody find their own way to connect Jewishly that is meaningful to them.

This year I have found myself really focusing on the people in my life. One of my favorite things about Yom Kippur is that we are required to make amends to people we have harmed before we can ask God for forgiveness. This has always highlighted for me the importance of our relationships. Over the past few years, I have really learned who are the people in my life and who are those that are mere acquaintances. Often times I have found that those I thought were friends were really acquaintances. Sometimes I learn that those that I thought were more acquaintances are actually really friends.

This holiday season I have really been thinking about a few friends and group of friends and how they impact me and how lucky I am to have them. I have childhood friends along with two long time very close friends who are literally like brothers to me. This Yom Kippur I am focusing on those people and groups of people who have made a great impact on my life and continue to do so today – those who on Yom Kippur remind me that it costs nothing to be kind and how important kindess is.

I’ve written a lot about my dad and the relationship we had. How much I miss him and how grateful I am to have him in my life for nearly 55 years. I’ve been lucky to have other male role models who are still here to help me. One friend has been like the older brother I never had. We became friends more than 30 years ago and have been through life together. My marriage and children. The loss of his wife who was also a dear friend. The loss of my dad. His stroke and recovery. It’s rare to have people like that in your life. I have two friends for nearly 40 years from college that are like brothers to me. We’ve been there for each other through the deaths of their parents and my dad, marriages, children, health issues, and with one of them, their children’s marriages and now grandchildren. To have those types of close relationships for nearly 40 years is special. I know that I am lucky to have them in my life and know they are always there for me and I’m always there for them. At the holiday season, it lets me reflect on how special these relationships are and not to ever take them for granted.

I grew up close with all four of my grandparents along with my Great-Grandmother Rose. They were instrumental in my upbringing and in my life. The things they taught and role modeled for me made me into the person I am today. The last of my grandparents died in 2001 when my oldest was a year old. I’ve felt the loss of their guidance ever since. A number of years ago I met somebody who reminded me of my grandparents. We became friends and would sit and talk about various topics. Even though she is more than 35 years older than me, we have become fast friends. I call to check up on her. We go to breakfast every few weeks to sit together and talk. She shares her amazing history with me and I learn from her about growing up Jewish in an Arab land in the 30s and 40s. She asks me about Israel as it has been years since she has been able to visit. We talk about dreams and hopes for the future, her at 95 and me at 58. We talk about her grandchildren and my children. My wife and her career goals. The work I am doing and how I am growing and changing as a result of working with the clients that I do, people and organizations that are actively changing the world. I love spending time with her. It fills me with joy. Her inner beauty infuses my soul with light. I tell her I love her and she tells me she loves me. It’s a treasured relationship that at this time of the year, I thank God for putting in my life. I appreciate how lucky I am to have this type of relationship where neither of us asks the other for anything but our time. The more time we spend together, the richer we both become.

A few years ago I was invited to join a group of guys who meet every week for lunch. I knew a number of them and others I didn’t know at all. A few were acquaintences. Other than me, the youngest is now either 79 or 80. I bring the age range down significantly! They are all people who were titans of their industry. Doctors. Attorneys. Judges. Journalists. Business owners. Investors. Wealth managers. Incredibly successful and each one brilliant. Our conversations at lunch are deep and thorough. Educational. Sometimes confrontational but always in a respectful and friendly manner. We don’t agree on everything although recently we have found that although part of the group is right of center and a larger part is left of center, we agree on far more than we disagree. I look forward to our weekly lunches and the conversations. The questions we all ask. Sometimes I sit and listen as we are discussing legal issues and the experts are teaching us. Sometimes it is a medical conversation and the doctors are the ones sharing their wisdom and their experience with us. Sometimes I’m actively talking about topics, especially since I go to Israel so often and spend time across the political spectrum there and with Palestinians in the West Bank. We ask a group question and go around the table with each person sharing their thoughts on the topic without interruption until they finish their thoughts. I am enriched by the friendships that have developed with these men. The deep personal relationships that we have built over the past few years. I have come to realize that in today’s world, I am very lucky to have a group like this where we discuss any topic anybody wants to bring up and respect each other and differing opinions. It is the one place I know that I will hear many different viewpoints and will walk away each week a better person that I was before lunch.

We go to the same restaurant almost every week. We have the same servers. They know our orders. They know us. Secretly I think we are their favorite customers because we are so much fun to listen to and watch. There is no doubt that we could be a successful sitcom because of the wonderful characters at the table and how funny and interesting we all are. As the baby of the group, I’d be the star, but knowing how these go, I’d probably just be a bit player. One thing I know for sure is that I’m incredibly grateful to be a bit player in this group of outstanding human beinns and that they enrich my life weekly.

I have had a few mentors in my life besides my dad. I’m incredibly grateful to them. They have taught me so much and each came to my life at the exact time I needed them. I recently spoke with one of them and we set time for a zoom to catch up and a breakfast meeting in a few months. I got such incredible gifts from them, I believe it’s my job to not only live up to their high expectations but also to share with them the success I am having by taking advantage of their mentorship. It is me paying them back, not with dollars but with appreciation. Helping them see that the time they spent with me, the investment they made in me, was not only worthwhile and valuable, but is being actively used and valued today. I have the privilege of doing some coaching and mentoring as well. It’s one of my favorite things that I get to do. I was speaking with one of them last week and as we are coming to close to the end of the formal, professional relationship, he asked me what happens when that part ends. I told him, “I’m your friend you call to talk. We just don’t have scheduled time like we do now. You text or call when you want or need. We have a friendship now.” That comes from my mentors. People that I built authentic relationships with that went beyond their coaching and teaching me. As I have moved into their role, I’m grateful to them for not just the skills they taught me but the things that went far beyond technical skills and more into how I live my life. The way they taught me to identify my values and make sure I am always living up to them. To be the type of person that I am proud of, not that others are proud of. Technical skill lessons and true life lessons.

Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year, gives us a time to reflect on the year that happened. We often think that the 10 days of Awe, in between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are designed just for atonement. I push back on that. In my opinion it is also the time to pay attention to more than those we harmed and make amends to them. It is time to pay attention to those who are the real gifts in our lives and make sure we tell them. It is an opportunity to ensure we are not taking them for granted. We can truly be greatful for the wonderful relationships we have and the deep friendships. I’m lucky to have the relationships I do with my siblings and with my mom and my in-laws. With my wife and my children. With my nieces and nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles. I’m also very lucky to have a deep group of friends like I highlighted above. So Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur for me is certainly atoning for my sins. It is certainly asking for forgiveness from those I have harmed. It’s also valuing those who enrich my life. Those who fill me with wisdom, joy, friendship. guidance, love, and care.

Whether you are Jewish or not, celebrate the holidays or not, believe in God or not, this is a time where we can each pause and reflect on the past year. What do we have to be greatful for? What do we wish we had done differently. Who are we greatful is in our life? Who have we harmed, intentionally or not, and how do we ask them for forgivenss so we have a clean slate moving forward? Life is too short to miss the blessings and endure the negativity.

Colorful hand-lettered artwork expressing gratitude to God for friends and the amazing people in life.
Art by Joanne Fink – colorization by AI in her color palette

The Beauty of Jerusalem

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

On Thursday morning I left for Israel. Sitting next to me on the flight to NY were a young couple who engaged me about where I was going. When I said that I was connecting to Tel Aviv, they were excited to ask questions about Tel Aviv, Israel, and if Christians were able to go to the Christian holy sites. I was thrilled that they wanted to ask these questions and yet also sad that they didn’t know that it has only been when the holy sites are under the control of Israel that everybody has access to their holy sites. I was glad that they asked and from their responses, I think they were glad they asked. It shows just how far behind we are with education people about Israel.

I arrived in Israel early this morning. It was a different feeling as it felt like I was in Israel as I boarded the El Al flight at JFK. I was surrounded by Jews, Arabs, and Christians, all going to Israel. It was a warm, comforting feeling. I had to get up at 4 am for my flight from Orlando, so I was already tired when I boarded El Al. I think I slept more on this flight than any one I have previously, only getting up for the two meals and to prepare for landing.

That sounds a little strange since most people think I’m flying into a war zone, a dangerous place, a scary place. I feel like I’m flying home. Unlike most flights to Israel, when we landed, there wasn’t big applause from the passengers. Perhaps it is because the passengers are different now. They also feel like they are coming home rather than going to “The Holy Land.” It was clear the plane was full of people who have connections to Israel, not just tourists.

I took the train from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, a beautiful, fast, and inexpensive way to get from one city to the other. I likely wouldn’t have even gotten out of Tel Aviv in the 30 minutes it took to get to Jerusalem. Yet another thing people don’t know or understand about Israel. The train was filled with lots of different types of people. The diversity of Israel is amazing.

I dropped my bags at the hotel and went to walk the streets of Jerusalem. I found a nice coffee place and had a great conversation with the barista. Then I sat outside with my ‘Cafe Afuk’ (latte), relaxing in the beautiful weather, the peace of Jerusalem, and took it all in. The weather is spectacular. It was early morning so it was quiet. My heart and soul were full as I thought about how incredible it is that 2000 years after the Jews were expelled from this land by the Roman, we have a Jewish state and I am not only in it, but I’m in Jerusalem, the city built by King David thousands of years ago.

After coffee, I had to go to Machane Yehuda, the shuk. Normally when I go on Shabbat it is close to noon and it is packed with people shopping for Shabbat. Because it was early in the morning, it was not filled with Shabbat shopping craziness and I got to really enjoy walking the streets, browsing the stalls, and taking it all in. I stopped at Gluless, an amazing Gluten Free bakery that on Fridays has freshly baked gluten free Challah and Babka. It’s such a treat to buy freshly baked Challah and babka that is gluten free. (For those who don’t know, I have Celiac so can’t eat any gluten). Because it’s the beginning of my 12 day trip, I didn’t go crazy and buy as much as usual because I didn’t want it to go bad before I return home. I still bought plenty! I stopped for fresh dates and walnuts (replace the pit with the walnut and you have an incredibly delicious treat). I bought a nice bottle of wine for my Shabbat hosts (you never come empty handed and you don’t want to insult your host by bringing food unless asked to do so).

During my 20 minute walk back to my hotel, I was truly captivated by the reality of Israel and Jerusalem. It was quiet, peaceful, and I walked past Jews, Arabs and Christians. It is not what people see on the news. The people are not the villians the media wants to project. The country is beautiful, peaceful, filled with spirituality and connection. Unlike in America, I felt an intimate connection to the country. There is somthing special about Israel for people of all faiths. As I walked, the sun was out, the air was brisk with a slight breeze. People were bustling around. There was an energy, a vibe in the air. I took it all in as my heart was filled with joy and love.

My room was ready early so I had a chance to shower after the flight and take a little nap. On my flight to Israel, I rarely have an issue with jetlag and the nap felt good. I had plans to meet with a friend of mine who is just back from milium (reserve duty) but is returning tomorrow night to, as he jokingly calls it, ‘northern, northern Israel’ (Lebanon). We went to another coffeeshop near my hotel (the coffeshops here are amazing), sat outside and talked. He has some great ideas and I’m excited to see how I can help him accomplish them. As we talked about the war and what the future looks like, he shared some of what he has seen and experienced since October 7th. Despite all that I know, despite all that I have learned and continue to learn, depsite the many, various experiences I have had in Israel and about Israel, I found myself wondering if I was naive. Our conversation brought up more questions than answers, but that is also the reality of Israel. It’s not simple. It’s not easy. It is very complex and part of the problem we face when it comes to Israel is that the world doesn’t want or like complex. They want simple and our enemies make it simple. Of course, in Israeli fashion, as we were finishing the conversation, he asked if I had plans for Shabbat and invited me to join him and his family. That is Israel. We are all family and Israelis don’t want anybody to be alone on Shabbat and not have a Shabbat table to join. I already had Shabbat plans and I’m not sure who was disappointed more about my not joining his family for Shabbat, him or me!

As I walked to my friend’s home, about 20 minutes from my hotel, I was struck by the quiet and peace of Shabbat coming in at dusk. Very few cars were on the road. People were in their homes getting ready. The city seemed empty. I took deep breaths as I walked, inhaling the fresh Jerusalem pre-Shabbat air. I found myself wanting to share that walk and the beauty of Jerusalem as Shabbat is coming in with the world. This is the Israel that people all over the world need to see, feel and experience. The deep spiritual connection. The history. The people who only want to live in peace, celebrate being Jewish in meaningful ways, and fully diverse.

My friend’s house was buzzing as she had three (3) of her daughters there along with her grandson (1) and grandaughter (3) and adorable dog. She had told me that her two sons were spending Shabbat and the weekend with friends while her other two daughters didn’t live close and were with their families – yes, she has 7 children from 26 to 10 years old). Her husband came home and I had a chance to finally meet him. We began talking and enjoying each others company. Then it was time to make Kiddush. We sat at the table and sang Shalom Aleichem as the 3-year old grandaughter was stunned that I knew the Hebrew. We sang Eyshet Chail (a woman of valor) which I have never really learned and really want to. They blessed their daughters and grandchildren. It was wholesome and beautiful. We said kiddush (again the 3 year old couldn’t believe I knew Hebrew in any form) and made motzi (I brought my gluten free challah not just for motzi but because I knew we’d have hummus, matbucha, and other things that I’d want challah for. The conversation was light, fun, deep, and enjoyable. The food was delicious (including the best homemade gefilte fish I have ever had – a little bit spicy and nothing like what we get in the jars in the United States). Then her husband began to break out in song. Each of their children has a special song they sing made up just for them and related to their name. It was beautiful. Their 10-year old daughter was embarrassed when he began to sing her song so I made sure she knew that it was just an Abba (father) thing and asked if there was a song for him. Of course there was and they all sang it together. After dinner we had turkish coffee and continued to talk.

This was one of the most fulfilling Shabbat dinners I have ever had and I grew up with Shabbat dinner at home every single week. The love in the family, the joy of being together, being included as a part of their family and really feeling it, and being in Israel, in Jerusalem, was really special. I have an open invitation every Shabbat to be part of their family and I can’t wait to be back in Jerusalem for Shabbat to join them. It captured everything that is beautiful and special about Judaism. It was a perfect example of the Israel and Israeli people that I love. They told me if I’m here with family or friends, bring them to and I plan on doing that.

I think about the joy at their Shabbat table while their son-in-law is in milium, the joy that was happening at my friend’s shabbat table 24 hours before he goes back to milium once again, and I find myself wondering why the world has such a difficult time understanding that we only want to live and have peace. Our goal is not world domination but to live fully Jewish lives in our homeland, Israel, or where we live in the diaspora. I find myself wondering what it would take for people to see and feel the beauty of Israel and Judaism.

They joined me for the start of my walk home as we continued to talk. I finished the walk alone. Walking the streets of Jerusalem at midnight with no fear, no reservation, and took in the beauty all around me. I snapped a couple of pictures that captivated me, that hopefully express a little of what it is like.

From the first time I stepped foot in Jerusalem in 1989, it has captured my heart and soul. Today it went even deeper. I think it’s because of all the people who were so concerned for my safety in coming here while I have no concerns. I think it’s because so many people believe what they see on TV or read in the newspapers instead of what it is really like.

This is going to be a unique trip for me. I’ll be spending time around Ramallah, in and around Hebron, and in Beit Yala, seeing, learning, and experiencing some incredible work. I’ll spend a night in Haifa near the top of the Bahai Gardens, one of the most beautiful things in the world. And I’ll get so spend some time in Tel Aviv enjoying the beach and time with friends. I’ll be writing about it all. With the way this trip has begun, I’m excited to experience every moment and share what I see, think, and feel.

Shabbat Shalom from Jerusalem

Two years of war and a happy country?

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I returned from Israel on Friday. It was a long return trip, waking up at 5 am IST (10 pm Thursday night ET) and leaving early in the morning from Haifa to get to Ben Gurion airport. The long flight to JFK was easy but was during the day so I didn’t sleep much. A 2 hour layover and I was on my flight home. I got to my house around midnight, 26 hours after I woke up in Haifa.

The long trip gave me a lot of time to think. Dealing with jetlag upon my return gave me more time to think. This was a different trip for me. I knew going into it that I needed to be in Israel for my soul. I wasn’t touring the ‘normal’ way and was going to spend a few days just being in Israel before a day of work in Jerusalem and then 3 days up north working. It was a day about my relationship with Israel and Israelis, not about the Jewish connection to Israel. I was in Jerusalem but not the old city. I didn’t visit the Dead Sea or Masada. I did spend time on the beach, hanging in restaurants with Israelis, visiting schools and youth programs, and being connected to ordinary people.

On the plane returning and in the past two days, I have found myself reflecting on the ordinary people of Israel. Israel is typically rated one of the happiest countries in the world. This despite living in a very tough neighborhood with genocidal terrorist organizations like Hamas and Hezbollah on their borders. Terrorists try to come in every day to murder Israeli people and Iran is an existential threat. This was before the horrors of October 7th. Yet in the 2025 survey of the world’s happiest countries, Israel ranked 5th. A country that was attacked and invaded in 2023 where over 1,200 people murdered in the attack. A country at war with so many of her citizens called back to serve in the reserves. A country being villified by the international community based on terrible lies, being called terrible things, all due to Jew hatred. A country that had the north evacuated due to daily rocket attacks and who spent time almost daily in bomb shelters. This is the country that was the 5th happiest in 2024?

This past week helped me really understand how a country facing all these challenges could be the world’s 5th happiest country (for comparison, the United States was 21st). In Israel, they focus on what they have rather than what they don’t have. They focus on gratitude not desire. It’s a country that realizes that gratitude is a far better way to live than envy.

It got me thinking about my life and the changes I have made in the past few years. My dad dying in September 2022 was a life changing event for me. Not just because I lost a parent and mentor. It was a realization that the end is closer than any of us want to acknowledge and the question is more about who we want to be and how we want to live than how much we can have.

So I have changed my life. I removed a great deal of stress. for decades, my job was filled with stress. I’m just as busy and working just as hard but now it is without the stress that I used to have. I make sure that I am rested and not burning the candle at both ends. I make sure to eat and eat healthy. No more skipping lunch because I’m too busy. I eat healthy now – whole foods rather than something quick. Today I had the time to make a fresh salad for lunch, cutting up lettuce, tomatoes and other veggies rather than grabbing something quick to stuff down my throat because I had no time between meetings.

On this Israel trip, I got to meet people who were doing the same thing. People who lived by their values so they moved their family to the north to repopulate that area after the war. While many people won’t move back, there are many who realize how important it is to live there and are choosing to do so. The high school student who had the opportunity to decide whether he wanted to take the exams for his bagrut (high school diploma) and decided not to take them. As he shared that with us, I could feel his trepidation as he was waiting for criticism. Criticism that he didn’t get. The early childhood teacher who loved his job and the children he interacted with. The little tricks he did for them and the joy in their faces as he did them. The care in his voice as he talked to them and way they were truly little people, not just kids.

I talked with people who are more concerned about the mental health of IDF combat soldiers than their personal income. They are volunteering tremendous amounts of time to do their part in providing for the mental health care needed for these soldiers. Each time an IDF combat soldier commits suicide, a little piece of them dies, so they work to reduce that number to zero. They invest their time, their money, and their heart and soul.

I went to visit Hapoel Jerusalem Football Club (HJFC), a team that is much more than a professional team in the Premier League for men and women’s soccer. Their social programs are changing the face of Jerusalem and the future of Israel. Hersh Goldberg-Polin (z’l) was one of the leaders of their fan club. I wear my Hapoel Jerusalem FC shirt with his face on it proudly. It speaks to people living by their values, choosing to make the world a better place which means they are happier in their daily lives. Read the post below which describes somebody’s experience with the girls program of HJFC. It’s extraordinary.

I used to believe that I could never make Aliyah (move to Israel) because I want to live like an American in Israel and to do so is extremely expensive. There is a saying about life in Israel that explains this well.

People don’t move to Israel to become financially rich. They move to Israel to be spiritually rich. To be emotionally fulfilled. To have meaning in their life. You don’t have to move to Israel to have those things. We can choose them in our daily lives. Yet in America, we rarely do. We place money ahead of our values. Our answer to the saying, “You can either be happy or right” is often to be right. The lesson I was reminded of on this trip is that we don’t have to make those choices. We can learn to focus on what matters. Being happy. Enjoying life.

When I came back from Israel, my oldest son was home for the weekend. It was great having him home for the weekend, even though we didn’t do anything. Just having him around was nice. My best friend’s son is getting married next weekend and I’ll be there to celebrate. A few days later, my younger son is taking the LSAT and has to go to Ft Myers to take it (that’s an entirely different story). So we’ll drive down to Ft Myers, stay in a hotel, he’ll take the LSAT and then we’ll drive home. 8 hours in the car together along with a night at the hotel together. Priceless. That’s the key to being happy – enjoying every minute and the opportunities they present.

I think of my dog, a now 10 month old chocolate lab. She gets excited to see me every morning, not because I’m going to take her outside and give her breakfast. Not because she’ll get treats and do a puzzle. She gets excited because we are together. When my wife comes downstairs and comes home from work, my puppy is filled with anticipation and realizes she is the luckiest dog in the world because she’s with her people, with her pack. That’s how I want to be.

Israel taught me that. Despite two years of war, they cherish every moment. Despite a year of rockets falling on them and rushing to their safe room day after day after day, they found ways to appreciate things. As I sat on the beach in Tel Aviv, breathing the fresh air, listening to the waves and people all around me, I realized just how lucky I am. It’s not about the things I have or don’t have. It’s not about the size of my house or my bank account. It’s about the people in my life. Recognizing the beauty in the world around me. The gifts of life.

I have been to Israel 24 times. Trip 25 is scheduled. What a gift. What a blessing. As I look at that image, my heartbeat slows, any stress disappears, I relax and realize just how lucky I am. And when we realize how lucky we are instead of thinking about all we don’t have, the world is a much better place.

The living dead

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I use a lot of sources to keep up to date on the news. Unlike the days of Walter Cronkite on CBS news, there is no single trusted source in today’s media. One of the people that I read is Danny Gordis. His “Israel from the Inside” substack posts are filled with a great deal of facts, stories, opinions, and thoughtful pieces. Today’s post was extremely powerful and hit me deeply, bringing tears to my eyes. Having been to Israel 3 times last year (May, July, and September), and working with many different organizations in Israel with daily contact with Israeli’s, it hit home. It’s what I have seen, heard and felt. While on a zoom with one of my partners last week, she let us know that she may have to leave in a few minutes because she got the “10 minute alert” that the Houthi’s had fired a ballistic missile at Israel. Sure enough, a few minutes later she said, “I have to go” and off she went to her safe room. The rest of us stayed and talked until she returned a few minutes later.

I urge you to read this story from Danny Gordis’s “Israel from the Inside”. It is an English translation of a Facebook Post (in Hebrew)from yesterday. And if you subscribe (paid or free), you won’t regret it.

I died on the 120th day of the war, but I didn’t tell anyone

I was killed on the 120th day of the war, but I didn’t tell anyone. The battles were raging and I didn’t want to hurt the guys’ morale. At the end of the month, I got leave.

My wife Talia picked me up from the train and hugged me tight, as if she were drowning in a frozen sea and I was a wooden door. So of course I didn’t tell her I was dead; everything had already fallen on her shoulders these past months. The moment I entered the apartment, Romi, my four-year-old daughter, came running from the neighbors, jumped on me and refused to let go—so I didn’t tell her either that Daddy was dead. Why break her heart?

After Romi fell asleep, Talia waited for me in bed with white wine. “I missed you,” she wrapped her warm thighs around my cold body. We made love. Not because I wanted to (the dead don’t need sex), but just to make her happy. It didn’t work; she stayed distant (or was it me?), and when she asked what I’d been through—I stayed silent (no reason to bring horrors into bed).

A few days later I went back to the battlefield, and two weeks after that I saved five soldiers from death.
“You’ve got balls of steel!” the battalion commander slapped my back. I wanted to say I was dead, so I hadn’t really risked anything, but since my actions had revived the unit’s spirit, which still hadn’t recovered from the death of Gilad the platoon commander, I replied, “Thank you, sir.”

At some point I was sent home, back to “normal life,” but between me and it stood a transparent, impassable border, behind which I watched them like a fish in an aquarium. And the world that once excited me—turned faded; work at the computer store no longer interested me, nor did poker games with friends, and at home, with Talia and Romi, I felt like an invading germ.

Until… One Saturday, Romi fell in the living room. “Daddyyyy!” she cried and I froze, hypnotized by the sight of blood trickling down her forehead, the clear tears dripping from her eyes, the yellowish urine that escaped her, and I thought about how many shades of fluid are in the human body, and remembered Sergei and the bullet he took to the head. That night, after we got back from the ER, Talia said I had to get help, that she couldn’t reach me, that she was out of strength. But all I heard was blah-blah from someone who doesn’t understand how the world works and how bloody and stinking and monstrous it is.
Better she doesn’t know. Let her put on an avocado mask and go to sleep.

But she kept nagging, so I went to the living room and stared at the sidewalk, seven floors down, and wanted to jump, because I felt like a foreign body that life had rejected. The window wouldn’t open. Turns out the frame was bent by a rocket that fell nearby. So I gave up and went to bed.

The next day, Assi, who’d been with me in high school and in the unit, came into the store. Since it was already noon, we went to the hummus place, gossiping about Victor who learned to jump with his new leg, about Barry who got a better hand than the one he lost, and about Udi who finally proposed.
At some point, there was silence and I asked if Talia had asked him to come talk to me. Assi nodded, because there’s no bullshit between us.

“So why is she worried?” he asked.
“It’s hard for her to accept that I’m dead,” I answered honestly, because I no longer had the strength to hide it.
Assi wasn’t fazed and speared a pickle from the plate. “Remember when you died?”
“The day Sergei was shot.”
“Mmm… half a year.” He bit into the pickle. “And what’s the hardest part about being dead?”
“That I don’t feel anything.”
“Really?” He looked at me, picked up a fork and stabbed my hand.
“Ow!” I jumped, “Are you nuts?!”
“Turns out there are some things you do feel,” he grinned, like a kid who just egged the principal.
I glared at him. Really? Seriously?! That’s your reaction to my death?! Seven years of psychology studies for this?! I got so angry I threw an olive at his eye.
“You son of a—” he flung pita at me.
So I threw a shish kebab at him.
A wave of stupid laughter took over and we kept pelting each other with fries and falafel until the owner lost it and kicked us out.

“What if…” Assi wondered as we walked back to the store, “it’s not that you don’t feel, but that… you’re afraid to feel?”
“Afraid to feel what?” I asked, and immediately thought of Ortal, Sergei’s wife, who after years of fertility treatments finally got pregnant, and how he came back from leave beaming and showed us the ultrasound of the boy. “Check out this mega-penis! Just like his dad!!!”

48 hours later, he took a sniper’s bullet. A bullet that wasn’t even meant for him. I was supposed to go to the window, but I was breaking a record on a dusty Game Boy I’d found, so I asked him to go instead and… I started to cry, because he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t.

“Now I know you’re alive,” Assi said, “Know why?”
“Why?”
“Because dead men don’t cry.”

He put a comforting hand on me and suddenly there was wild gunfire, fighter jets tearing through the sky, which stank of smoke, of decay, someone cried “Yama! Yama!!” Or maybe it was “Mama! Mama!!” And my hands searched for a weapon, but I was in civilian clothes, in the middle of Bialik Boulevard—

“I’m losing my mind,” I told Assi.
“You’re not, bro! You’re feeling, don’t run from it, don’t run!” And he hugged me tight and didn’t let me fall.

That evening I went to Talia, who was folding clothes, and said I wanted, like before, to read Romi a bedtime story. “Not sure that’s a good idea,” she refused to look at me. So I pinched her butt, like we used to do to annoy each other when we were dating. It surprised her, even confused her.

“Assi came to visit me at the store,” I said.
“And…” she glanced at me.
“He stabbed me with a fork.”
“Too bad it wasn’t a pitchfork,” she looked at me for a few seconds and must have seen something that changed her mind, because she picked up a book from the couch and handed it to me.

I read Romi a story about a turtle who wanted to be a butterfly, and the night lamp painted colorful animals on the walls. She fell asleep before the end, where the turtle, drawn in black and white the whole book, suddenly glowed with colors. And even though it was a predictable and silly ending, I teared up, and stroked her tiny, sweet fingers, moving with the rhythm of her dreams, and I couldn’t understand how in the same world horror and love could live side by side.

And I thought of Sergei, of his wife, of the baby in her belly, of corpses and kisses, screams and butterflies, and everything inside me stormed and raged and cried… and I didn’t run from it… I didn’t run. I didn’t run.

I know far too many people like this brave man. Far too many Israeli friends that have been through hell and back since October 7th. Rami Davidian, the farmer who saved 750 people from the Nova Festival on October 7th – the look in his eyes as he told us how he untied dead women from the trees he was looking at, their bodies abused, to give them dignity, is something I will never forget.

I have heard stories from my friend Yaron about October 7th, the first four months of the war in Gaza, and the most recent hostage release during the last ceasefire, that I will never forget. There are more that he cannot share. My friend Tal goes back into reserves in what seems like every other week. I’ve been to army bases, had barbecues with IDF soldiers and families from Kibbutz Alumim. Hearing the members of Kibbutz Alumim who fought the terrorists on October 7th is something I will never forget. As one member pointed out the 3 places he was shot that day, the places where bullets still remain in his body, I often wonder how, or if, they will ever recover.

Then I think about the work Dror Israel is doing with children and families in Israel. I think about Hapoel Jerusalem Football Club and the work they are doing with Trauma Soccer and their neighborhood leagues which get Jewish and Arab children in Jerusalem to play and learn together. I think about Hersh Goldberg-Polin (z’l), one of the leaders of their fan club and how much a future of peace and healing mattered to him. I think about Israel Volunteer Corp-Sword of Iron, mobilizing a community of over 44,000 people who want to volunteer in Israel to help rebuild both the physical and emotional state of the country. I think about what I do and what else I could do, to make a difference.

The Jewish people and the citizens of Israel have a long road ahead of us – first to win this war against evil and get the hostages back, and secondly to recover from what we have seen and what we face on a daily basis. It won’t be easy but we can do it together.

My question to you is what will you do? Will you be like Talia and Assi and do the difficult thing to help? Will you stand by while the author of that piece and so many others suffer in silence? Will you shake your head in sadness at the murder of ​Yaron Lischinsky and Sarah Milgrim as they left a Jewish communal event or at the firebombing in Boulder during a peaceful march to have the hostages in Gaza returned or will you take action and do your part.

History is waiting to be written – the question is what will your role be. I hope that the writer of the piece in Danny Gordis’ “Israel from the Inside” inspires you to take action. I know it inspired me to do more.

Fire, loss, and gratitude

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

The wildfires in California are devastating. People are losing their homes and their valuables. Some are losing their lives. I live in Florida, far from California. There is no threat of those fires expanding to my community, yet I truly understand what that loss feels like.

In 2013, my family and I were preparing to move from Gainesville, FL to Seattle, WA as I had been recruited and hired to be the new President and CEO of the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle. It was a big move with lots of nerves, fear, and concern for all of us. We were literally moving completely across the country. My wife and kids had never not lived close to family and now we were moving nearly 3,000 miles away.

This was a big new job in a new community for me. Alison, my wife, had one friend who lived there and my kids knew nobody. It was exciting and scary at the same time. We packed up our house, the movers took our belongings away, and we moved into my in-laws house for a few days. I was leaving a few days before my family to get things set up, move into our rental home, pick up our dog at the airport and then get the family a few days later. Everything was set up for this big change in our lives.

As I prepared to head to the airport in a rental car (our cars had been shipped already), my phone rang. It was the moving company. They told me that there had been a fire in our moving truck and it was a complete loss. Everything we owned that was on that truck was lost. My face dropped. I didn’t know what to do. For a minute I thought I was being pranked, I hoped and prayed I was being pranked, but I wasn’t. I told Alison and she was stunned. How do you comprehend losing all your belongings like that. Your memories. Your photos as a child, with your grandparents, your children as babies, your ketubah (marriage certificate) and so much more.

I headed to the airport in shock, talking to Alison on the phone the entire time. I called Delta, told them what happened, and they changed my flight to a day later. I called my new board chair and shared the news with her. She was shocked. Using humor to deflect my feelings, I said to her, “Well, at least we don’t have to unpack.”

When I got back to my in-laws house, we spoke to the moving company again and they said we could come to the facility in Jacksonville where the truck was and salvage anything that we wanted. Still in shock, Alison and I drove to Jacksonville, depressed at what we were going to see.

When we arrived, they told us what happened. The truck hadn’t left the yard yet. There was an issue with the truck that needed to be fixed before they could send it to Seattle. The way to fix it involved using a blowtorch. Their standard operating procedure is to removed everything from the truck, then use the blowtorch to fix it, and then reload the truck. The person who was fixing it decided he didn’t want to do that and just tried to fix it with all our belonging still on the truck. Something caught fire, the truck went up in flames, they rushed to put it out, but the fire, smoke, and water ruined our belongings. Later, I reached out to a few attornies about a lawsuit since they didn’t follow their procedures and I learned that they are only liable for the loss. Not for anything else. I learned that sentimental things have no value other than replacement of them. Things that were handed down from my grandfathers would be worth pennies because they were old things that could easily replaced. A lesson learned.

We were both fuming as we walked to the area where the truck and our belongings were. You could smell the smoke well before we got there. The sight was devastating. Boxes were charred and wet. Furniture burned. We slowly approached the area, tears in our eyes, and began to go through the boxes.

Then something amazing happened. We opened a wet and charred box and found our ketubah in it, in perfect condition. We opened another wet and charred box and found our wedding album along with other picture albums from our childhoods. We found our children’s professional pictures when they were 4 and 2 perfectly safe. We looked around as our furniture, clothes, and everything that could be replaced with money was damaged and lost and realized that things that really mattered to us were not. The collage from our wedding reception was fine. My autographed sports memorabilia that I got personally, signed to me, was fine. The things my grandfather and Alison’s grandfather did special for us, were fine. My grandfather had the newspapers from the 4 days leading up to Nixon’s resignation and the day that FDR died. They mean the world to me because they connect me to him, long after he died. They were all fine. Our hearts warmed quickly and were filled with gratitude. Yes, we lost all our material possessions and would have to get everything new. Yet the things that truly mattered to us, the things that were irreplaceable, were saved.

This was my proof that God exists. There was no reason for these things to be saved. They weren’t in a part of the truck that wasn’t burned. Our ketubah and Alison’s bridal portrait were in boxes that were behind the couch that burned up. The things that mattered the most were mixed with everything that was a complete loss. There was no reason for them to be saved and in great condition other than God.

As we see what is happening in Calfornia with the fire and loss of homes, I think back to when we lost everything we owned. When people reached out, wanting to donate money to help us, we declined. Why did we decline? We had insurance on our items and they could be replaced. We thought we had enough insurance but eventually learned that replacing EVERYTHING you own is much more expensive than you think. We told people that most importantly, nobody was hurt. We still had a place to live and material things are not important compared to being healthy.

I feel for the people who have lost their homes and their possessions. I have been there with the possessions and was grateful it was just possessions and not my house. I was lucky that the things that couldn’t be replaced were saved. The people in California don’t have that luck. Houses and possessions can be replaced. It will be an inconvenience. It will be frustrating. It’s not something anybody would want to go through. For those who lost their lives, they can’t be replaced. For those who lost their material possessions, all that can, and will, be replaced.

After losing our material possessions in 2013, I found myself grateful. Grateful that we were safe and it was just things. Grateful we had insurance, which covered about 85% of the cost of replacing everything. I was incredibly grateful that the things that couldn’t be replaced were saved. It reminded me of my priorities. It reminded me that material things are just that – things. We may like them and enjoy them, but they are just things. There are many things far more important.

I hope that those going through this awful time of loss, of devastation, and in a time when they are in shock, the same way I was in shock after hearing the news, come to the same realization. Their homes will be rebuilt. They will buy new clothes and new furniture. They can buy new art for the walls, new rugs for the floors, new towels and sheets, and appliances. There are many things that are irreplaceable. Possessions are not among them.

I found great comfort in this realization. I hope those dealing with it in California find the same comfort. Having lost all my possessions in 2013, I know what is really important. I would gladly go through it all over again to ensure my health and the health of my loved ones. Possessions are temporary and unimportant. Our lives and the lives of our loved ones are what matters. Health and happiness. Let the pain those in California are going through be a lesson to us all about what really matters in life. I know it’s a reminder for me.

Me walking through the fire damage of our belongings
Inside the moving van where the fire occurred.

Reflecting and Reflections

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

As we begin 2025, I have found myself much more reflective than normal. For me, the end of a year is usually more future focused than reflective. I tend to look at what the upcoming year may bring and the opportunities that lie ahead rather than looking back at what happened and can’t be changed. I am not sure what is different this year but it definitely is different.

The past four years have been filled with incredible challenges and learning experiences. From dealing with the challenges and stress of Covid, especially when I was running an organization with almost 150 employees depending on me, to health challenges that at one point indicated potential major surgery, life was challenging. 2022 is the year that my dad died, a truly transformative event in my life. We were very close and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him. I had a major career change and recently had another health scare that thankfully turned out to not be anything serious. I’ve had friends die and seeing people my age or slightly older die has shown me the reality that there is far more time behind me than ahead of me. My oldest son has begun his career and no longer lives close by. My youngest son is graduating college in May. As I prepare for 2025, it is clear that all these things have made me more reflective than ever before.

As we approach the start of 2025, I find myself thinking about what really matters to me. What is it that I really want? What is it that I really value? Who do I want in my life? How do I want to spend my time? Who do I want to invest my most precious commodity, my time, with? I recently found old picture albums and boxes with pictures in them. As I look back at my college pictures, it doesn’t seem that long ago, yet it also seems forever ago. My 40th High School reunion is in 2025 and as I look at those pictures, it feels like yesterday while also feeling like it was lived by a different person. Perhaps it’s that stage of life, approaching 60, my youngest graduating college, watching nieces and nephews get married and have children, that is causing this.

It is actually a wonderful place to be. Challenging for sure, but also wonderful.

What does matter to me? Over the past few years I have clarified things and been much more focused. Here is my list as we start 2025.

  • Health. Without health we have nothing. I remember hearing this from my grandparents as a child and not appreciating it. Over the past few years, I have had some health challenges and understand it. My father had health challenges and then died in 2022. I recently had a friend die of a heart attack while he slept. I’ve seen far too many people my age or close to my age struggle with health issues and many pass away. Health matters. That means taking care of myself in ways I never would have before. It means being grateful for every day I wake up and am not struggling with a health issue. It’s being grateful for the health of my family and my friends. At the end of the day, health matters the most because no matter what else I have, if I don’t have my health, I really have nothing.
  • Family. I grew up being taught about the importance of family. Not just immediate family, but family by blood and by choice. In my family, I have brothers and sisters, both by blood (one of each) and by choice (2 of each). I have cousins that I am close with that are not your typical first cousins. I have aunts and uncles that are defined that way by the dictionary and those that are defined that way by their actions. I recently was talking to my aunt and uncle (who technically would be cousins) and I said to them point blank, “You are my aunt and uncle. You always have been and always will be.”. Family matters. Family shows up. Family is so much more than just blood. I got a note from my ‘brother’ on New Year’s Eve that touched my heart deeply. He talked about how our friendship that began more than 35 years ago has changed his life. I told him it changed mine as well. He has been, and always will be, my brother. His mom was my mom. His aunt and uncle were my aunt and uncle. My parents were his parents. I’m known as ‘Uncle K’ to his kids. He is Uncle Aric to mine. You can replace most things in life but you can’t replace family.
  • Basic needs. I grew up in the 70s and 80s. Gordon Gecko and ‘Greed is Good’. Yuppies and the desire for material things. Madonna and ‘Material Girl’. More was always better. In my life today, more is not better. I find myself wanting less. I want to make sure I have clothes, shelter, and food. While I have a nice car, it’s not something that I ‘need’ and look forwad to when I get a different one and getting one that is a ‘step down’. I find that material things are not what drives me nor do I find myself ‘wanting’ many things. I’d rather get a call and a happy birthday wish than a gift. For Hanukkah this year, being together as a family and lighting candles together was so much more than any material gift. I am actively in the process of moving from ‘wanting less’ to ‘having less’, not because of economics but because things don’t mean much any longer. As I was cleaning out my garage last weekend, I came across some old photo albums. The memories in those pictures meant more to me than any material item. My focus is on my basic needs and the rest isn’t necessary. It no longer adds much value to my life.
  • Values. This may seem like a strange thing to list here but it is actually one of the most important to me. Who I am, what I stand for matters. The type of person that I am, matters to me. I don’t have to be right all the time. I don’t have to ‘win’ all the time. I appreciate those who help me and I want to do what I can to help others. Not because I will ‘get’ anything from it, other than feeling good because I am doing good. It helps me understand the Jewish value of “Tikkun Olam” in a different way. By being a better person, by having and living my values, by treating people with dignity and respect, by helping others without expectation of anything in return, I get so much. I recently had a friend who has been struggling to find full time employment. We would talk over texts as she shared her frustration with the job market. I kept my eyes open for her and found a variety of opportunities for her to consider. I was there to help and support her. Eventually, I found one that worked out for her – she got a job doing what she loves, in an environment that is positive, and that pays her a salary that she feels is appropriate for her skill level and talent. The fact that she is working for another friend of mine only makes it better, as they both win. What did I get out of it? Nothing material – just feeling good that I was able to help two friends. Values and integrity are everything. They mean far more to me than a paycheck or any material good. I feel good about who I am every day when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep. That is truly priceless.
  • Time. This has become more important as I have gotten older. We have no control over the time we have on this earth. My cousin, who was my age and like a brother to me, died unexpectedly in 1995. His brother, who I sort of adopted as my little brother, died in 2015. My father died in 2022. My fraternity big brother died in 2013. One of my close friends and I have begun to keep track of our fraternity brothers who have died young. When our time is up, our time is up. It’s what we do with our time that matters. For many years, building my career was a top priority. It meant sacrificing time with my family, with my children, with my parents, because of the demands required to be successful. Many people behave this way. I made the decision that I no longer want that. I don’t want my time defined by work. Just this past year, I went to watch my older son coach college football games three times. I took a crazy day trip to California with my younger son to see the Giants and A’s each play home games before taking the redeye home. I took Brightline with my younger son and his girlfriend to Miami to see the Marlins play and get our SpongeBob Squarepants Marlins jerseys. My wife and I went to Red Rocks to see Carlos Santana in concert. We go to the theater for Broadway shows, we travel to watch the UFC fights, spending money to get good seats and have a memorable experience. I spend a good amount of time in Israel in 2024 with trips in May, July, and September. I meet my mom in Lakeland, halfway between us, for lunch or dinner. Time is a commodity. How we choose to use it is up to us. I spent enough time devoted to my career. While I still spend plenty of time working and on my career, I value family and time spent in meaningful ways much more than extra money, a bigger professional role, or a big title. My priorities have shifted.
  • Friends. Throughout my career and my life, I have made a lot of friends. What I have learned is that many people who we call friends are merely acquaintences. They are people who are there in the good times, who are there when you can give them something, and are there when it benefits them. Real friends show up during the difficult times. Real friends show up when it is inconvenient for them but you need them. Real friends don’t care what others think. Over the past few years, I have had the opportunity to learn who my real friends are. I have seen people that I thought were friends simply not show up. Not reach out. I have seen people show up and show that they are real friends who I didn’t expect would show up. I do things differently now. I make sure to check in with my friends, not matter where they live. I do it not because of what they can do for me but because I value them in my life. A few months ago, I started having lunch with a group of guys on Friday. They are all 80+ so I bring the demographic down signficantly. I love these lunches. I enjoy the company, the conversation, the things I learn from them. While some of them I have known for years, others are new friends. I do my best not to miss those lunches because I value their company. I learn from them. I can honestly say that if any of them needed something, I would be there for them. I reach out to friends that I know are struggling with things in life, just to be a voice telling them that I’m here and I care. I have learned how important active friendship is and make sure to be an active friend.
  • Spirituality. While I would not call myself a very religious person, I am a very spiritual person. I pray and meditate every morning and have for over 30 years. I like learning with a Rabbi (I have two that I do it with) because it helps me connect with God in different ways and helps me be a better human being. I enjoy rituals like putting on tefillin, singing Acheinu every day until the hostages are released, lighting the menorah, eating apples and honey, and cooking for holiday meals as if 40 people are showing up even when it’s just 4-6. These are things than bring me joy. My connection to God brings me joy. My Jewish identity brings me joy. These things actually make my life both simpler and fuller. I have found that nothing in life happens by accident. There is a divine force behind it all – I may not see or appreciate it for a while, but it is there. I am who I am today because of my life experiences. The ones that I loved and the ones that I would not have chosen. I know that God always takes care of me in the long run, even if the short run is uncomfortable and not what I would have chosen on my own. It is why I say thank you every morning for whatever the day may bring me. If it was up to me, I would always choose the easier option. This would inhibit my growth as a human being. This would limit me. Instead, I get the gift of opportunity to grow and experience life. I’ll take that every time. I love my spirituality and spiritual connection. It brings me great joy and meaning. It is a path I encourage everybody to follow, wherever it may take them. Each of our paths are different and I hope you follow yours. I’m going to keep following mine.
One of my favorite books by my spiritual advisor for the past 27 years

Speaking of friends, one of mine recently turned 24 (as you can tell, I have friends in their 20s and in their 80s, I’m an equal opportunity friend when it comes to age). For her 24th birthday, she listed 24 life lessons she has learned. It is an impressive list and one I look at very differently now than I would have at 24. It’s amazing how life experiences change the way we see the same exact things. Here is her list:

 1.⁠ ⁠Life means nothing without the people you love around you
 2.⁠ ⁠Chase your dreams everyday – life is not to be lived waiting around
 3.⁠ ⁠Purpose mixed with passion will take you places in life
 4.⁠ ⁠It’s okay to f*** up – we all do – that’s how you learn
 5.⁠ ⁠Not everything is for everyone, and that’s okay
 6.⁠ ⁠Workout before making a big or impulsive decision – you will always have a different perspective after
 7.⁠ ⁠If you don’t ask, you’ll never get
 8.⁠ ⁠Be comfortable being uncomfortable – that’s where growth happens
 9.⁠ ⁠Everyone has their own way of doing things, there is no 1 way to do it, find your way to make it work
10.⁠ ⁠Learn something from everyone you speak too – advice is not always meant to tell you what to do, sometimes it’s to show you what not to do
11.⁠ ⁠Two things can be true at the same time….
12.⁠ ⁠Happiness comes from doing things that you joy
13.⁠ ⁠Dare to be wrong in life, it’s always a lesson and a good story
14.⁠ ⁠If something won’t matter in 5 hours, 5 days or even 5 years – everything will be alright
15.⁠ ⁠You create memories everyday, make them memories with people you love
16.⁠ ⁠Being comfortable with yourself is the biggest gift you can give yourself
17.⁠ ⁠Ask questions always – don’t be afraid to feel stupid
18.⁠ ⁠People want to be around people doing good things for this world and making a difference
19.⁠ ⁠Life is not about you – it’s about the people you touch
20.⁠ ⁠You never know how something may affect someone else, good or bad
21.⁠ ⁠Do the difficult thing. Say the hard thing… whats the worst that can happen?
22.⁠ ⁠You don’t owe anyone your time or energy – it’s precious, hold on to it tight
23.⁠ ⁠Growth is a process – be patient with yourself – it doesn’t happen over night
24.⁠ ⁠Appreciate the moment because you will look back at the ‘good ole times’ and miss being here

As we move into 2025, I encourage you to take a look at your life. Ask yourself what really matters to you. Then act on what matters to you. Society tells us all sorts of things are ‘supposed’ to matter. The reality is that the only things that matter are those you decide are important to you. Take ownership and take action. Nobody is responsible for your life and your choices other than you.

Pink inspires – a true Jewish message in her show

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Last night I went to see the Jewish musical star Pink in concert. I bought tickets a long time ago and heard that she was a tremendous performer. I like her music, although I’m far from a rabid fan. With Sheryl Crow opening, I was excited for the show.

Sheryl Crow was awesome. She brought me back in time with her classic songs and while the show was in a stadium, I wish she was in a smokey crowded bar where you could really feel and appreciate her music. I enjoyed her performance as it brought me back to simpler times.

Then it was time for the main event. Pink was electric from the very beginning. Her energy and joy filled the stadium with positivity. Since October 7th, over a year ago, I’ve had a hard time truly letting go and embracing joy. Last night, Pink unlocked that for me. What a performer. She exuded happiness. Love flew from every song and every time she talked to us. Her very first song set the tone – watch and listen as she bounces with joy and flies effortlessly.

Her flying early in the show was beautiful. The music was great and she added elegance and beauty. The past 12 plus months have been filled with so much ugliness. October 7th and those images never leave me. I’m glad that I saw the Hamas 47 minute video but it altered who I am. I am glad that I have been to the Nova site twice, heard from survivors, and those involved with rescuing people that day, but the horror is now a part of me. I’m glad that I went to Kfar Aza twice, heard the stories from the IDF and from somebody who was there that day and recently returned to their home. I’m glad that I saw what the Hamas terrorists did but those images are burned into my soul. Last night, as she performed, it was the first time since October 7th that the only thing in my mind, heart, and soul was beauty and love.

Her cover of Pat Benatar’s “Heartbreaker” got us up, singing and dancing. I was transformed to the early 80s and my high school days. To simpler times. A time when hate didn’t dominate the world. When we didn’t see daily antisemitism and Jew hatred. Violence against Jews wasn’t happening on the streets of Amsterdam, Paris, New York, Chicago, and so many other places. I thought of my diverse group of friends from that time – we didn’t think about identity politics or our differences – we focused on the people we liked. So many of them are still friends today. Jewish, Christian, Mormon, Black, White, Gay, and Straight. We played sports together, went to parties together, hung out on the streets together, went to concerts together, and got in trouble together. I miss the simpleness of those times. The moral clarity that existed for us in high school and then college. Enjoy the song and performance, I sure did.

I wish that I recorded Pink as she talked to, and about, her mother and their relationship. Her mom was in the front row and it was a classic Jewish mother moment. We all laughed but I think those of us who have Jewish mothers laughed a little deeper as she talked about her mom telling her what to do and then watching her mom actually do it from the audience and Pink listening to her and then begging her to stop. When she talked about her late father, it hit home deeply for me. It brought me right back to my dad and the relationship we had. It made me sad and joyous at the same time. While I don’t know her, never met her, and have no personal relationship, I know we bonded over the loss of our fathers. Then she brought her daughter on stage to sing part of a song with her. What a highlight. I enjoyed watching Pink’s face more than anything else as she listened and watched her daughter Willow sing. As a father, there is nothing better than seeing my children succeed. Their joy and success is so much better and more powerful than my own. I could see that on Pink’s face and it reinforced my committment to do whatever I can to make this world a better place for my children and eventual grandchildren. There is no excuse for us to sit back and not do the work. Not put in the effort. We are not responsible for the outcome but we are each responsible for doing the work. That’s a summary from Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of our Fathers. It shows that anybody can learn and even teach a little Torah.

The show ended with an incredible encore where Pink literally flies across the stadium. The freedom in the song and as she flies is so clear. It’s a reminder that we control how we feel. We control whether we want to be tied down, locked up, bitter and angry, or if we want to be free, flying through the air, looking for the beauty and enjoying what the world offers. It takes effort to do it, but the power to live meaningful and beautiful lives is entirely in our own hands. The question is are you willing to do the work? Watch Pink fly and sing – see and feel the freedom. As the movie version of Wicked is about to be released, watch Pink defy gravity. Sorry I lose her for a bit but you get to see the audience during that time and feel the energy.

Pink inspired me last night It shows that you don’t have to truly be a torah scholar to inspire people with Torah values. It also shows how learning some Torah can help you see Jewish wisdom in every day life.

My friend Yocheved Ruttenberg is another real example of this. Founder of the Sword of Iron Facebook group with 40,000 members all interested in volunteering in Israel, her story as a 23 year old changing the world is inspiring. She recently won the Z3 Bridge Builder award. Her speech highlights her story and what she has done and what she is doing. It is inspiring.

The joy Yocheved brings to the 40,000 members of Sword of Iron is incredible. I read the posts of people volunteering in Israel and sharing their pictures doing it. I read about all the amazing volunteer opportunities and am astounded and inspired. It makes me wish I was independently wealthy and could just go and volunteer full time in Israel. From picking fruits and vegetables to helping rebuild in the south. Preparing BBQs for IDF soldiers to making tzizit for them. Helping those in need in every aspect of society. All done with gratitude. All done with grace. All done from the heart. All for our Jewish brothers and sisters who are fighting for the survival of the Jewish people. If you really want to experience the joy of Yocheved and her work, watch this Shabbat Shalom video. I can’t get enough of it. I dare you to only watch it once. It’s infectious.

There are so many ways to change the world and the world needs changing. You can do it through music. You can do it with volunteering. You can do it by helping others. A friend of mine who made aliyah years ago reached out today. He and his family will be in the United States to get away for a much needed respite in December. They will be in Florida for part of their trip and like my family, love sports and wanted to go to the Orlando Magic game for Jewish Heritage Night. They were having trouble getting tickets and asked for my help. Quickly, I was able to secure tickets for him in the block at an affordable price. I then reached out to a friend to see if they can help with some VIP experiences for their children. After the year that they have experienced, the least I can do is try to help them have some peace and joy. Just like Pink gave me last night, I can help them have a few moments of joy where they aren’t worried about sirens, they aren’t worried about rockets, they aren’t worried about friends in the IDF and if they are alive or not. They can be kids, enjoying a basketball game and maybe getting some special access. It didn’t take much for me to help. A little research. A few text messages. It did take effort but not much. Often times we don’t realize how easy it can be to make a difference in the lives of others. How we can give a little bit of life and levity to those in need.

I work with Dror Israel, and amazing organization that helps children with schools, youth groups, and summer camps. Their ZIONIST youth movement is in all the Druze villages and in 55 Arab villages with more than 20,000 Arabs involved. They do amazing work. In this same context, they are creating restorative trips for children and families to get away from areas with sirens, to go to Mitzpe Ramon (Israel’s version of the Grand Canyon). This short video highlights what they do and what the effect and impact is. They are changing the lives of these children and families and changing the world.

We have the ability to change the world with our own actions. Pink gave me a few hours of pure joy like I haven’t had since October 7th. Here is the question I pose to you. What are you going to do to find your joy. To find your stress relief? And what are you going to do to help others who are in need and can’t do it themselves? We all have that responsibility. It is Kol Yisrael Arevim zeh Bazeh (All of Israel is responsible for each other). Jewish or not, we can be inspired by this lesson. Each of us can change the world, one person at a time, one action at a time.

Let’s all choose to be like Pink, who electrified and inspired 75,000 people last night. Who sent a message of love, inclusion, support, family, and values. The movie The Waterboy puts it best. You can do it!

Love, Kindness, Goodness and Friendship – An Inspiration

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

This has been a challenging week for many people. For some it’s the results of the election. For others it is the pogrom in Amsterdam and watching Jew hatred go to another level. Today is the 400th day of the hostages being in captivity. Two Jewish students were assaulted at Chicago’s DePaul University for the crime of being Jewish. In the past months, Jewish students have been attacked at The University of Michigan and The University of Pittsburgh for being Jewish. Rockets continue to be fired every single day by Hezbollah from Lebanon into Israel.

We live in arguably the most divided time in the United States since the Civil War. The world may not be this divided since World War II. It is easy to feel sad and depressed. It is easy to lose hope and think the world is ending. Concern over the next few weeks, months, and years is a common refrain heard regularly.

And yet there are examples of hope all around us. There are examples that show when we decide to be the answer, the solution; when we decide that we are no longer going to wait for others to solve the problem and challengs of the world, that we create change.

We are a college football family. For years, our Shabbat has involved being together as a family, either watching college football on TV or in person. When our older son was playing High School football, Shabbat dinner was at the football field. When he was coaching High School football, we spent Friday nights watching him coach and as he coaches college football, we are watching on TV or in person once again. This morning, as I was watching ESPN Gameday, a beautiful and inspiring story was shown.

Malachi Moore, a star player for Alabama, befriend a young girl, Henrietta Murray, who had a terminal illness. Their relationship and his relationship with her family, is a beautiful thing to see. Once again, it shows the power one person has to change the world. Malachi changed not only Henrietta’s life but the lives of her parents and his own life. Listening to him talk about what his friendship with Henrietta not only meant to him but how it changed his outlook on life is powerful. We all have th ability to be like Malachi. We all have the power to change lives with our actions. Watch, listen, and feel the love.

Watch Malachi and Henrietta’s story

Then there is the story of Melhem Asad. A Druze fan of Maccabi Tel Aviv football/soccer, Melhaem was at the game in Amsterdam. As he watched the attacks begin against Israelis by criminal antisemites with law enforcement not helping, he thought quickly on his feet. As an Arab speaker, he ran to groups of Israeli fans, speaking loudly in Arabic to them, creating the impression that everyone in his group was Arab rather than Jewish. By doing this, he successfully misled the attackers, who left these groups alone as they searched for Jews to attack. He didn’t just do this once or two. He spent several hours using this strategy to shield Jewish Maccabi fans who were under attack in restaurants and bars, unable to safely reach their hotels. When people call Israel an apartheid state, when people say that Jews, Arabs, and Druze can never get along and never exist together, this is more proof that these are lies.

Thank you Melhem for showing that humanity isn’t about being Jewish, Druze, or Arab. It’s about being a good person, caring about your fellow human beings, and combatting hate. You are an example to everybody of what the future can look like when we choose to take action ourselves. When we don’t wait for somebody else to do something. When we don’t tolerate the status quo and do what we can to make the world a better place.

Melhem Asad, who’s quick thinking and speaking Arabic saved many from being beaten.

Kirk Herbstreit is the cornerstone of ESPN Gameday. He is well known, popular, and one of the people fans want to hear from. Recently, the focus has been on the relationship with him and his dog Ben. Ben became a travel companion for Herbstreit, with him on the road, on the field, and on the set. In many ways, he became America’s dog. Recently he got very ill and in the past week he died. His loss was felt not just by Kirk but by fans and dog lovers all over the world. ESPN chose to show a tribute to Ben today. It was beautiful and powerful. It shows the power of love. I have always felt that dogs are pure love in a living being. We lost our beautiful chocolate lab, Bella, earlier this year. I miss her every day, and ask Kirk publicly mourned the loss of Ben, I could relate and understand the loss.

Our sweet girl Bella, enjoying the back yard, the sun, the grass, and being with me.

We can have this type of unconditional love with a dog. Why can’t we have this type of love for our fellow human beings? Before the election and after the election, the vitriol expressed against those supporting a different candidate was horrific. You might be branded a racist, a bigot, a Jew hater, an antisemite, an islamaphobe, transphobic, anti-LGBTQ, anti-woman, anti-American, and many other terms. It’s ok to to support different candidates for many reasons. Understanding why people make the choices they make gives us a chance to build bridges, work together towards the type of society we want to live in. Most people don’t support every position that the candidate they supported stood for. Yet we simplify people and live in hatred and disgust rather than love and understanding.

Dogs aren’t like that. They love you no matter what. It is as if they understand that people are fallible and love is what helps us deal with our imperfections. Dogs really are perfect love. I miss having Bella climb in my lap to cuddle no matter what was going on. I miss her giving me kisses and laying down at my feet to be close to me. I miss taking her out to the backyard to walk and lay in the grass, appreciating the beauty of nature, the warmth of the sun, the smell of fresh air.

It’s pure love. Watch the tribute to Ben and let Ben inspire all of us to treat people better.

Speaking of Kirk Herbstreit, every week when I watch him on ESPN Gameday with Lee Corso, their interaction is one of the sweetest things in today’s world. It’s clear that they have a father-son relationship. As Corso has gotten older, Herbstreit openly provides him with more help and more support. It is a beautiful thing to watch.

Today, it was the opposite. As the tribute to Kirk’s dog, Ben, began, he was visibly crying and emotional. You could feel his pain and loss. And who was there to support him? Lee Corso of course. It was a public display of love and support. No worries about what it looked like or what anybody though. It was two close friends being together, even with millions of people watching.

We can use the example of the relationship between these two men as a teaching lesson for each of us. Every day we have an opportunity to be there for somebody else. Every day we have a chance to build these special relationships. I am lucky. Along with my brother and sister, I have two people that I consider brothers and two people I consider sisters. That’s how close we are. While biologically I have two siblings, in reality I have six. I choose to invest in relationships with people. The quality of friends is so much more important than the quantity. Many years ago, an older friend of mine (he was my age now back then) used to say, “I don’t need more friends at my age.” I heard him but didn’t really understand at that time. Now I do.

The example of Corso and Herbstreit shows us what we can do for other people if we want. It shows how we change the world, one person, one relationship at a time. It takes so little to improve the day and the life of another person. It also can take so little to suck the energy out of somebody’s day, making their life more challenging. The question is which type of person do you want to be. Do you want to be somebody who spends every day working to make the world a little bit better or do you want to live in negativity and make the world a little bit worse every day?

I choose to change the world every day with kindness.

Whine and Dine

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Every so often I read something that I think needs to be shared. In these crazy times, I wanted to share this piece by Norman Leonard. He has a substack where he writes weekly about funny/ironic things.

This is a story he wrote for his kids a long time ago. It’s in the style of Shel Silverstein, and he got a little playful with it, sketching out some moments.  Besides being a great read, it reminds up that no matter what, we should be grateful. Like the prayer, “Thank you for letting the rooster know the difference between day and night” reminds us, we can be grateful for every day we have.

It’s the kind of story I would have read to my kids when they were young because it’s funny, a bit scary, and teaches a lesson. It’s kind of like the classic book, Go the F*** to Sleep, read by Samuel L. Jackson that had my wife and I laughing out loud (I don’t think we actually ever read it or played it for our kids until they were MUCH older). If you haven’t heard it and are not offended by the vulgarity, it’s a true classic.

Here is the piece by Norman Leonard.

In my travels, I’ve been many places,

Done many things, seen many faces. 

There was one town I visited, not too long ago—

I thought it was normal. Turns out, it only seemed so. 

It looked like a lot of other towns I knew

With lots of boys and girls, many just like you. 

But this town had a secret and, no, not the fun clubhouse kind.

This secret was a whopper—scared one third-grader right out of his mind. 

The town had a monster who lived here and there,

A monster who could be lurking anytime, anywhere.

He hunted small children, specifically ones who would whine,

And he boiled them in his pot, often with garlic and brine.  

The whining, it had been hypothesized…

Well… it made the kids tasty, made them tenderized. 

One summer night, a first-grader began to whine and to pout,

When the monster heard, he prepped a stew with worms and sauerkraut.

As the first grader’s whining hit an all-time high,

The monster added to his stew some six-year-old thigh.

Later that week, another kid was devoured. 

It wasn’t too long after her attitude had soured.

And that wasn’t the last kid. Not a chance. Nope, nope, nope! 

The monster picked off more who would whine, gripe and mope. 

The town parents loved their children and didn’t want them eaten. 

Not by monster, not by ghost, not by fiend, freak, or cretin.

So they hired a wise woman, an old mother of the earth,

Smiling and warm, an ancient matriarch of mirth. 

And it didn’t take her long to identify the trend

That was bringing the children to a gastronomic end.

She observed the complaining and noted the whiny appeals

That turned kids into ingredients for the monster’s savory meals. 

And so the wise woman made a groundbreaking suggestion

To keep kids from being part of the monster’s digestion. 

She proposed that every whiny, belly-aching attitude

Be replaced by super-duper enthusiastic gratitude. 

Be thankful for parents, friends and siblings, too. 

Be thankful for a silly joke on days you feel blue.

 Be grateful for medicine and vegetables, all those things that make you say “yuck.”

Be grateful for every time you were stumped, bested, or stuck.  

Be grateful for what you have, grateful for what you don’t. 

If you are, you won’t get eaten. It’s true! You really won’t. 

Well, the kids took her advice and the whining stopped turkey-cold. 

The kids practiced gratitude, practiced just like they were told. 

They were thankful everyday, appreciative every night, 

And soon enough that hungry monster lost its appetite.

The monster in that town was never seen again.

And the kids cried, “Hallelujah, baby! Amen, amen, amen!” 

Now, you might be grateful, too, that this monster was run out,

But don’t think you’re safe to whine—it still might be about. 

No, not in that town—perhaps in yours—monsters are known to stray. 

So swap that whining for gratitude and keep that monster appetite away. 

If you enjoyed this and want to subscribe to his substack, you can sign up for the free or paid version here