I returned to Penn State, my alma mater, for the White Out game on October 8-11. Two years ago was my first time back since 1992, but I didn’t spend any time walking the campus or downtown. I saw how much had changed but spent the weekend with friends away from campus, except for the game.
This time was different. Arriving Thursday, I went downtown to some of the college bars with a friend. I hadn’t been to any of them in more than 35 years. The names have changed, but the energy and the feelings were the same. One of the classic bars from my undergraduate days has changed names, but they kept a section of the old bar to remind alumni like me of our college years. We hung out there, listened to an amazing band, and reminisced about our college years.
On Friday, I walked around campus. The buildings have been updated, and lots of new ones have been built, yet the streets remained the same. My freshman dorm had been demolished and rebuilt in a different location—I had a hard time finding it—yet East Halls were still in the same place. The Nittany Lion Shrine was in the same spot as when I was a student. Some of the major buildings where I had class were still there, and while they were updated, they still looked the same. As I walked downtown during the daytime, the stores were different, but the streets remained the same. It didn’t take long for me to know exactly where I was and remember what was there when I was an undergrad.
The tailgating on Saturday was incredible and felt like when I was a student. The crowd was electric, and the White Out was even more fun than I expected (it is a tradition that began well after I graduated). I had the chance to reconnect with college friends, and while for some it has been decades, it still felt like yesterday.
I found myself thinking of the road I didn’t travel. Unlike most of my college friends, I moved to Florida in 1992 after finishing my Master’s. They moved to New York, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and DC. That choice changed my life. As I spent the weekend with my friends from college, I was reminded of what my life could have looked like had I made a different choice and not moved to Florida when I did. The way I look at the world, the hustle and bustle of the Northeast. My career would be different; I’d have a different wife, different children, and nothing would be the same as it is today. Would it be better? I don’t think so, but it would be very different.
As I fly to Israel today, I find myself thinking about the alternate roads that could have been taken since 1948. What would it look like if the Arab states had accepted the partition plan? What would it look like if Yasser Arafat had taken any of the peace deals that were offered? What if Mahmoud Abbas, Abu Mazen, had taken the peace deals that he was offered? What if there was no first or second intifada? What if Israel didn’t withdraw from Gaza in 2005 or if they built a true state in Gaza instead of electing Hamas and becoming a terror hub? What if instead of building tunnels under Gaza, they built a society? What if UNRWA never existed and those who left in 1948 were treated like every other refugee in history? So many ‘what ifs’ that we will never know the answer.
The Hamas attack on October 7th altered the opportunity for peace. Any hope for trust was destroyed. I’ve spent a lot of time in Israel since October 7th, and the country is very different than it was prior to October 7th. The desire for peace exists, but the faith and trust that it can happen are gone. It will take a long time to rebuild. I have spoken to many people who have been called to reserve duty on a regular basis. Many have spent over 500 days in reserves since October 7th, away from their families, stressing the relationship with their spouse and children, harming their business and economic health. The entire country has PTSD, and it won’t go away quickly.
As I look at my life choices and what could have been if I had made different ones, I do not have any regrets. I love the life that I have. My choices eliminated one possible life, but what they have given me is far better. When I look at Israel, I’m not sure the same can be said. With the election in just a few weeks, I have had many Israelis tell me that this election is “for the soul of Israel.” I’ll be in Israel during the election, and I know many Israelis flying back to vote. This is another one of those critical choices. Whoever is the leader of the next government will impact much of the future. Will it be Bibi and the continuation of current policies? Will it be somebody else who begins to address the challenges of the Haredi not serving in the military and the horrible policies of Ben Gvir and Smotrich? Will it be somebody who continues to draw the ire of the world, or somebody who can provide hope for a brighter future?
These moments happen in our lives on a regular basis. The choices we make have incredible long-term impact. I look at my own life choices, and it is easy to see how so many of them changed the course of my life: who I am, what I value, and the way we raised our children. Israel has had many as well. This election is another pivotal one. Israelis will choose the path for their future. I don’t have citizenship in Israel, so I don’t vote. It doesn’t mean I have no opinion or hope for the outcome; it merely means that I don’t have a say in it. It also doesn’t mean that the results of the election won’t affect me. They will affect every Jew in Israel and the diaspora. We watch and hope.
As I am on my way for my 26th trip to Israel today, I am reflecting not only on my personal life choices and the choices of both Israeli and Palestinian leadership but also on what each trip has brought to me. The more I go to Israel, the more I see, the more I learn, and the deeper my understanding of the challenges Israel faces and those faced by Jews in the diaspora. There are no simple answers; it is incredibly complex in a world that desires simplistic answers.
This trip has planned experiences that will challenge me in every way. I’m excited to dig deeper and learn more. No matter how much we know, no matter how many times we have been to Israel, there is always more to understand. There are always more questions to ask that don’t have answers. One of the things I have learned from my own personal life choices is that the questions are often more important than the answers.
Ask yourself, what do I think I know about Israel and why do I think I know it? How have I been wrong in my own life that helps me understand that maybe I am wrong when it comes to understanding the complexities of Israel? What can I do to learn more about the complexities of Israel and the Middle East and not just take the simple answers and the easy way out?
Returning to Penn State and my college and graduate school years opened my eyes to the many possibilities that existed for me and how my choices shaped what I gained and what I gave up. It is critical that we view Israel the same way. What do we think we know and why? How can we learn more and challenge ourselves to understand more? Who do we need to meet and speak with to understand the various narratives that create not just Israel but the entire region? How can we meet the various people we need to in order to gain perspective and understanding?
During the next three weeks I’ll be all over the country, meeting with lots of different people with lots of different experiences and perspectives. Generals. Lt. Colonels. Mossad. Shin Bet. Doctors. Hospital administrators. Survivors from October 7th. Palestinian leaders. Visiting villages in Area C affected by the settler terrorism. Ramallah. Hebron. Bethlehem. Samaria. Jordan Valley. Gaza Envelope. The Lebanese border. Tel Aviv. Jerusalem. Meeting with Israelis, Druze, Palestinians. I’ll even be on a zoom with doctors and nurses in Gaza. Deep experiences. Challenging conversations. What I think I know will be challenged. I’m excited for it. I will learn and grow. My understanding of the complications in the region will grow.
Ask yourself, what I am doing to deepen my understanding of Israel and challenge my beliefs? When the opportunities arise, will I take advantatge of them?
