The 2 state delusion?

As the hostages begin day 123, the war between Israel and Hamas continues with hand to hand combat inside the tunnels, things get more heated in the north with Hezbollah, and the US-England partnership is bombing the Houthis and Syria in retribution for the 3 soldiers murdered by Iran and 40+ injured, I find myself in disbelief at the world stage and what’s going on in the United States.

Montana Tucker at the Grammy’s highlighting the hostages and urging to ‘Bring them home’. Very different than Annie Lennox asking for a cease fire that only benefits Hamas and that Hamas rejected.

Calls for a ceasefire continue to grow even though Hamas has publicly stated that there will be no ceasefire nor any peace as long as Israel exists.  Not as long as Israel has soldiers in Gaza, but as long as Israel exists.  Today, Hamas rejected another ceasefire offer yet the pressure remains on Israel to simply stop defending herself. Israel has basically stopped the bombing and is engaged in hand-to-hand combat in the tunnels, trying to free the hostages.  These calls for a ceasefire are unilateral for Israel, not forcing Hamas to release the hostages and surrender.  It’s as if October 7th never happened. 

The newest twist has been the call to require a 2 state solution as part of the end to hostilities.  Not only are Hamas and the Palestinian Authority (PA) committed to there being no Israel, both have no interest in a 2 state solution.  Yet the US and Europe are obsessed with this currently impossible solution.  Can you imagine if after 9/11 the US was required to have the Taliban as a new state on the northern AND southern border?  Instead of dividing Germany after WWII can you imagine allowing the Nazi’s to remain in power of a demilitarized state in the same location with evil countries feeding them weapons and bombs despite the demilitarized requirement?

It’s not that a 2-state solution is never possible.  It’s not possible now.  In 2019, when I spent time with leaders of Palestinian civil society, I was amazed when some of the brightest people around told me that if there were elections, they would probably vote for Hamas because the PA did nothing and while Hamas probably would also do nothing, there was at least a chance they might do something to benefit them.  New leadership is needed for the Palestinians.  Leadership that wants to live in peace with their neighbor Israel.  My friend Ali Abu Awwad, founder of the Taghyeer movement, focuses on Palestinian non-violence, change, and living in peace with their neighbor Israel.  He speaks openly, stating, “peace will not come through Jewish blood.  It will come from Jewish hearts.”  That’s the type of leadership needed for peace and a functional Palestinian state. 

My friend Ali Abu Awwad is the voice for the future. Click on the link above with his name and read about a new way forward through Palestinian non-violence and trust. 

Elliot Abrams wrote a beautiful and powerful article about The Two State Delusion on February 5th that should be required reading by all of our elected officials.  We cannot want peace more than the PA, Hamas, Hezbollah, and Iran do.  Until there is a modern-day Sadat and a modern day Begin, there simply isn’t a path to peace or a 2 state solution. 

Sadat and Begin – great leaders who risked everything for peace. It cost Sadat his life yet the peace holds 44 years later.

I try to imagine or find any other country that is told by their allies and the world that they don’t have the right to defend themselves.  A single country that is told they can’t keep their citizens safe.  Imagine rockets were being fired at the US from Canada and Mexico.  How long would it take for us to level the country?   Three US deaths and 40+ injured on January 28 by terrorists has resulted in the reported deaths of between174 to 225 civilians due to U.S. drone strikes in Yemen.  There is no outrage as we understand that when attacked, the accidental death of civilians occurs.  It is one of the horrors of war and why war should be a last resort, not a first action.  The terrorists of Hamas view it just the opposite.  For them, civilian deaths should be high because it helps their cause.  They do what they can to ensure that civilians are used as human shields and are put in harm’s way.  If you doubt that, ask yourself how many rocket launchers, grenades, bombs, and rifles are kept in your child’s school.  As yourself when you go to the hospital, if there are rooms there where rocket launchers, grenades, bombs, and rifles are kept.  When you go to worship, ask the religious leader to see the rocket launchers and armory they keep. 

I wear my dog tags every day.  One says “bring them home now” and the other says “we will dance again”.  Along with my Magen David (star of David), this guy who only wore an apple watch for years wears these proudly displayed outside my shirt.  I have masking tape I have begun to wear counting the days the hostages have been kept.  Today I will sadly write 123 on the masking tape and put it on my shirt.  Yesterday I wore my “I stand with Israel” sweatshirt with the blue ribbon attached for the hostages.  At the grocery store a number of people asked about my sweatshirt and commented.  No comments were negative, which surprised me. At the bank today, the teller asked me about 123 and when I told her, she shared empathy and said she’d pray for the hostages.

We are truly in a battle for our lives.  There are many in the Jewish community who want to downplay this.  They want to say it’s about Israel and Zionism or the Netanyahu government.  I spoke with my US representative yesterday and we discussed the difference between the government and some of the elected officials in Israel and compared them to members of our US government.  They are people who are held accountable to the electorate.  Just as the current US administration will be held accountable in November with elections where they job performance is evaluated by voters, so too will the Israeli government either at the end of their terms or earlier if the government falls (the difference between the US and Israel’s parliamentary system).  This is very unlike in Gaza where there have not been elections since 2007.  Or the PA where Mahmoud Abbas was elected on January 9, 2005, to serve as President of the Palestinian National Authority for a 4-year term.  He is now 19 years into his 4-year term.  Where is the outrage? 

We are seeing the world once again blame the Jews.  We are held collectively responsible for the hatred against us.  Just as 9/11 was labeled a Jewish conspiracy by many, today it’s Covid-19.  We are accused of blood libels, controlling the banks and the media.  The 2021 book by Dara Horn, People Love Dead Jews, calls back to the words of former Prime Minister Golda Meir, who famously was quoted stating, “If we have to have a choice between being dead and pitied, and being alive with a bad image, we’d rather be alive and have the bad image.” Israel gets this.  Many in the diaspora get this.  Unfortunately, we still have many, such as Peter Beinart and Norman Finkelstein, who don’t get it yet have the public stage.  And the media loves to give attention to those who hate us and want us dead.

A powerful book – they love us when we are dead

I heard Peter Beinart speak in Seattle and met him afterwards. He will excuse Jew hatred and make it our fault until we are all dead.

Norman Finkelstein is the son of Holocaust survivors and one of the worst at excusing Jew hatred and blaming Jews for everything. He is vile.

The current situation reminds me of both The Emperor’s New Clothes and something that happened when I was in High School.  We all know the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes.  When I was in High School, we had a kid in my homeroom who had many issues.  One day he stood in front of a bulletin board in the hallway with a cigarette lighter in his hand as he lit the paper on the bulletin board on fire.  When somebody asked him why he was lighting the bulletin board on fire, he looked right at them and said, “I’m not lighting the bulletin board on fire.”  The worldwide Jewish community is under attack and no matter how much we want to pretend we have beautiful clothes; we are naked.  And no matter what is said, the bulletin board is being lit on fire.  We can either wake up, speak up, speak out, and counter the lies and blood libel being spread or we can whimper away and revisit the horrors of the past.  I agree with Golda and would rather be alive.  I will continue to call out the nakedness and the bulletin board being lit on fire.  Pretending otherwise only ensures our destruction.  I hope you decide to join me.

Golda Meir understood that unless we stand up for ourselves, nobody else will.

Am Yisrael Chai.

Evil will win if Good doesn’t actively fight

As a Jew in the United States of America, I have been struggling since October 7th.  It is difficult to put into words and explain but I am going to try to do so in many ways and hopefully one of them will be clear enough to understand.

I grew up with my Great-Grandma Rose, my grandparents and my parents teaching me the value of helping others.  Whether it was through Tzedakah (charity), Tikkun Olam (repairing the world), doing acts of random kindness, holding the door for others, or something similar, it was a core part of our identity and what we did.  As kids, we were taught to make the world a better place when we could and as a result, the world would end up being better.  If we were there to help others and were good people, others would be there for us and we would find good people.  We were taught that part of how the Holocaust happened was because people didn’t speak up, people weren’t allies, and our job was to change that.  To speak up, to build relationships and allies, to ensure that NEVER AGAIN would really mean NEVER AGAIN.  I believed that implicitly for a very long time.

I have spoken out publicly for more than a decade about the rise of hate in general and the rise in antisemitism.  I have publicly condemned all hate against any and every community.  Hate against the LGBTQ+ and the Trans community is not acceptable and must be decried.  Hate against the African American community is not acceptable and must be decried. Hate against the Muslim community, the Asian community, the Sikh community, the Hindu, the Christian – it doesn’t matter what community, hate only breeds more hate and being silent because it’s not against your group merely ensures that your group will end up being targeted. It is why I was one of the first to sign the Central Florida Pledge, a call to action for residents of Central Florida to create a safe and inclusive community for all. The pledge asks residents to commit to treating all people with kindness and respect, especially those with whom they disagree. 

Unfortunately, for the past few years, I have been amending that statement because of the realities of the world.  When talking with my kids, I have reminded them that ‘hate isn’t ok against any group, except the Jews’ because the rise in antisemitism was being excused and other groups chose not to speak up, not to speak out, not to stand up and be counted against hate when it was against the Jewish community.  I wanted my children to remember not only their responsibilities to stand up to hate but also set proper expectations that when the hate was directed at them, they may not have the support they expected.  I hated doing this but I wanted them to be prepared for reality.

The book, “Jews Don’t Count” called this out well before October 7, 2023 happened

The October 7th happened.  The horror was unspeakable.  I sat, staring at the TV, following news from Israel, flipping channels, reading updates of Israeli newspapers, sending whatsapp messages to friends in Israel, scanning the names of those confirmed murdered and those kidnapped and taken hostage for the names of friends and family.  As I spoke to my friend Maor, the Consul General for Israel in Miami, he told me to turn it off as it was too much for the soul of anybody to keep watching.  I tried but couldn’t do it. 

I started focusing on Twitter/X and getting angry at what was being posted and arguing back.  It only made me more angry and more frustrated at the lack of information, the strong hatred, and the absolute joy people were taking in the murder and kidnapping of Jews.  I started blocking people and trying to looking only at sports related posts which used to aggravate me but now seem inconsequential. 

Celebrities started advocating for Hamas and the terrorists and against the Jews.  Susan Sarandon, Mark Ruffalo, and John Cusack became new objects of disgust and the short list of celebrities who I no longer would watch or listen to their movies/music continued to grow.  Certain members of the US Congress actively spreading hate against Jews made me shake my head and beyond being angry, got me scared about what could be ahead.  The similarities to the 1930s in German were too real.  While many have been saying this about the far right for a number of years, I was now watching it happen in real time from the far left.  I began to question being safe living in the United States as a Jew.  I began to think where I would move if I had to and when that might be.  I began to think of who would hide my family and me if it was too late to leave and I needed to hide.  When I identified who that would be, I actually asked them if they would hide my family and me if/when the time came that we needed to hide. 

Mark Ruffalo apologizing for his Jew hatred before continuing to hate Jews publicly. Celebrities like him only apologize when called out and then go back to their Jew hating ways.

Susan Sarandon clearly not know what River and what Sea they are talking about as she advocates for the destruction of Israel. Her later apology was insincere.

John Cusack was an active antisemite on social media before being called out here. Embarrassed, he defended and apologized for his stance but continues to hate Jews and continues to say things incredibly hateful, hurtful, and antisemitic.

When I visited the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam in 1989, I imagined what it would be like to have lived there, in hiding, fearing for your life from the leaders of your country.  In late 2023 it was no longer theoretical as I began to think what it would be like living in hiding in the United States and where I would be living.  Would I be freezing in the winter?  Would I be hot in the summer?  Would I be able to live inside?  Would it be living outside? 

I came across this thought about Anne Frank today and it struck home.  For many, the line in her diary, “In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good heart.” Is inspirational.  I admit until recently it was inspiring to me.  Today I read it very differently.  There was a time that I shared her hope and optimism about people really being good at heart.  I might have even written something like that in the past decade.  Today I wonder.

Today I wonder how she felt when they loaded her on the cattle car.  Did she still have hope and belief in the goodness of people?  Had she no longer questioned it and only saw evil?  What about when they shaved her head and tattooed a number on her arm?  Was that when she no longer saw good in people?  Was it when she was starved and got sick that he lost her belief in the goodness of people?  Was it when she got typhus and began to die that she lost her belief in people being inherently good?  Was it when she finally realized that she was going to die in that concentration camp, alone, bald, starving, sick, dehumanized, that she finally came to grips with people perhaps being inherently evil instead of good?

It is frightening how easy it is to envison ourselves in this picture instead of them

The piece I read was clear that the Diary of Anne Frank is not meant to be inspirational but rather a story of horror.  It’s meant to show us the evil in people extinguishing the light in people.  It’s meant to show us that without our ACTIVE intervention, evil wins over good.  We have been reading it wrong all these years.  It’s a warning to us from a beautiful and innocent 13-year-old girl filled with hope and belief who, step by step, loses it all until she dies a horrible death.

The Diary of Anne Frank is a warning, not an inspiration. We’ve gotten it wrong for decades.

I hear that warning loud and clear.  We have many people who are good and who are fighting against evil.  Yet we have far more that are showing their inherent evil and hatred.  UNRWA and the UN and the Red Cross have been shown to be evil organizations, despite their stated goals of good.  The Red Cross still hasn’t visited the hostages, still has refused to ensure they get their needed medication.  It’s now 120 days.  UNRWA had at least a dozen employees ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE in the atrocities of October 7th who were not fired until last week.   There are at least 10% of all UNRWA employees who are part of Hamas or Islamic Jihad, terror organizations.  Estimates are that at least 1,300 of the 12,000 UNRWA employees are part of Hamas or Islamic Jihad.  The UN’s mission, “maintaining peace, advancing human rights and promoting justice, equality and development.” applies everywhere except the only Jewish state in the world, who they constantly target and refuse to defend.  As countries begin to pause funding to UNRWA, there are now cries about the impact on the people of Gaza.  Yet there is plenty of documentation that UNRWA ensures Hamas gets the aid before the people.  That UNRWA aids Hamas and the people of Gaza need to riot and storm the supply areas to get the food, water, medicine and other supplies provided to UNRWA to dispense to those in need.  The people need help, not Hamas.  And UNRWA is effectively Hamas.  Will we ever learn?

Statement by US Representative Michael McCaul, chair of the House Foreign Affairs Committee on UNRWA

Today is February 3rd.  Tomorrow my mother-in-law turns 80 and my oldest child turns 24.  At the end of the month my father would have been 80.  Would my father even recognize the world he left in September 2022?  Would he be telling me how it looks just like his parents told him the 1930s looked?  Will my oldest live to 80 as a Jew in America?  Will he be able to live in America his entire life as a Jew? 

During Covid in October 2021, when Israel was still shut down to tourists, I had the opportunity to go on a special trip.  Instead of the normal 400 people, there were 80 of us.  The country was empty.  When we went to visit to Yad Vashem, the Israeli Holocaust memorial, there were only two other people in the entire museum besides us.  It was a deeply moving experience and for the first time I identified with the middle-aged people in the pictures who were mostly murdered immediately at the death camps.  It was no longer me who was the freedom fighter.  I was no longer the leader in the Warsaw Ghetto uprising.  I was no longer the person kept alive to work in the death camps trying to survive and help others survive.  Those were my children.  I was the either the one who betrayed my people by playing the role of ‘good Jew’, excusing what was happening in order to survive another day or sent directly to the gas chambers.  It was a shocking moment for me that I had to process with the group later on.

The Hall of Names at Yad Vashem. Will our pictures one day be there? Will our stories be told to future generations and if so, what will those stories be?

In February 2024, I know who I am.  While I am not the leader of the resistance, of the Warsaw ghetto, nor the active partisans fighting in the woods, I am also not going to excuse what’s going on for another day of survival nor am I going willingly to the gas chambers.  I will speak out, I will demand change, I will not allow the growing hate to continue to grow while I sit silent or excuse it.  I see others who choose to be quiet and fly under the radar.  I see others who find excuses for October 7th and the Jew hatred that has been shown day after day since then.  I get incredibly frustrated and angry as Jews excuse evil against our community that they would never excuse against anybody else. I will not be one of them.  I will not hide, nor will I be quiet.  While I fear another Shoah may be coming to Europe and America, I will not be someone who simply believes in the goodness of people and that good will win over evil.  Good only wins over evil with a lot of help.  We are facing evil like we haven’t seen in 80 years.  I’m in the army of good, fighting that evil, with whatever I have.  I will not let evil win because I believe in good.  I will fight for good to win over evil. I hope you join me.

It’s not just what side are you on. It’s are you actively fighting evil. If you don’t actively fight evil, it will win.

We choose in our hearts and our actions if we will actively support good or evil. Failing to support good is unconsciously supporting evil.

Good has the final say but only if you use it. We can’t be silent or we waste of final say.

Choose to actively feed the good. If you don’t feed good, it won’t win.

Evil will win if we don’t fight for good. Are you going to stand up and speak out for good or let evil win?

We must remain vigilant and continue the struggle for good or evil will take control

The evil of Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthi’s and the Iranian government are currently better organizaed, better trained, better armed, sneakier and gutsier than good. What are you going to do to change that or are you going to let evil win?

Gandalf is right. It’s the small, everyday deeds that we do that will defeat evil. We each have the power to change the world. Are you going to use the power you have for good?

Anger, Rage, Love, Hope

On Sunday Jan 14, 2024, it will officially be 100 days since the violent attacks by Hamas resulting in the murder, mutilation, rape, burning, and kidnapping of Israelis.  There remain 132 people held hostage by Hamas in Gaza including infants, toddlers, children, women, and the elderly.  They have not been provided their medication in 100 days.  They have been held in underground tunnels for 100 days.  Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays have come and gone while they are being held captive.  For the past hundred days the attacks on October 7th, the murders, mutilation, rape, burning, and kidnapping of my Jewish and non-Jewish brothers and sisters just because they were in Israel has weighed heavy on me. 

I ordered a new Magen David (Star of David) from Israel that I wear.  I got two dogtags from Israel, one saying “Bring them Home Now” in English and Hebrew, the other quoting released hostage Mia Schem, taken from the Nova music festival, and her tattoo, boldly stating, “We will dance again.” I want to fly an Israeli flag at my house, however due to the rise in antisemitism and the fears of my family, I don’t. 

This rise in antisemitism has fueled my anger and rage.  Seeing what’s happening on campus and watching and listening to then President of The University of Pennsylvania, Liz Magill, then President of Harvard College, Claudine Gay, and President of MIT, Sally Kornbluth refuse to state that calls for the genocide of Jews would violate their University’s code of contact was infuriating and unbelievable. 

Watching some members of the US House of Representatives who previously stood strongly against sexual violence keep silent because the victims were Jews burns in my gut.  People shamelessly throwing around words like ‘ethnic cleansing’ and ‘genocide’ without knowing the definition or the proper application has fire in my eyes.  When South Africa has the nerve to charge Israel with genocide at the International Criminal Court my body cramped and ached with exhaustion.  Israel, and the Jewish people, are being singled out compared to every other group or nation and excluded from protection.

When Germany, of all nations, comes out with a strong statement in support of Israel, clearly stating they are not involved in genocide, it provides relief.  When Canada stands up and says that while they believe in the process of the International Criminal Court, it “does not mean we support the premise of the case brought forward by South Africa.” it is both surprising because of recent events in Canada and relief that they are doing what’s right.  When the U.K. calls these claims “unjustified’ it generates major news.  The United States has called these claims ‘unfounded’.  It took watching and listening to Dr. Tal Becker’s incredible opening statement, 30 minutes of powerful and clear statements, to truly provide me with some relief.

This is not the way I lived my life prior to October 7, 2023.  It’s not how I want to live my life today.  Yet the realities of what occurred on October 7th and what has happened since, have me struggling on a daily basis.  I was talking with a friend on Friday over coffee who saw the 47-minute Hamas video with me about the experience.  She commented on how she hasn’t been able to process it with anybody because they can’t imagine the horrors she witnessed.  And how some of the images will never leave her memory.  I feel the same way and some of the images that have deeply disturbed her are the same that deeply disturb me. 

So how do I move forward?  How do I find inspiration and hope in a world that continues to suck hope and joy out with such incredible hate.  How do I get past these feelings when I already know where I will go and who will hide me and my family if that time should ever come?  How do I come to accept that not only have I had that thought but spoken to that person who agreed to do it?  That in 2024, in the United States of America, I feel so unsafe that I need to have a secure place to hide.  That the hatred of Jews is so strong and accepted that people feel safe screaming it from the top of lungs in public settings.

I have found inspiration in three places.   The first is the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.  A true leader in times when the African American community was facing the same type of public hatred, he remained a beacon of light.  Nearly 56 years after his assassination, his words, spirit, and leadership remain powerful.  How fitting is that as I write this, it is the weekend celebrating his birth.  Dr. King has many famous quotes that are filled with inspiration.  So many inspired me.  I picked 5 that speak to me now.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

We must walk on in the days ahead with an audacious faith in the future.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

You will notice that 3 of the 5 relate to love instead of hatred.  It’s easy to be filled with hate after October 7th and the 100 days the hostages have been kept.  It’s easy to hate when the Red Cross refuses to see the hostages or get them medicine.  It’s easy to hate after watching the 47-minute Hamas video.  Yet hatred, as Dr. King states, is a burden, paralyzes, confuses, and darkens life.  As I struggle with my anger and rage, Dr. King inspires me to be better and to do better.  He reminds me that those who are sincerely ignorant and consciously stupid are dangerous and I have an obligation to continue to learn and to educate others.  And most importantly, he reminds me that I must have faith in the future and focus on love, not hate.

The second may be seen by some as controversial.  Joe Paterno was more than a football coach.  The investment he put into his players as people is legendary.  I know so many people who weren’t players who had interactions with him and his focus was always about being better people.  What type of person do you want to be?  What type of parent?  Spouse?  I have friends who played on his teams and they all talk about how he invested in them as people.  Due to the Sandusky scandal, the statue of him was removed.  Penn State fans want it back and recently I read something about it once again.  The thought came to me that were he still alive, the statue wouldn’t be something he cared about.  But the type of people he coached and how they live their lives today is something he’d care about.  One of my middle and high school friends who was on the team from 1985-1990 is a great example.  Darryl is also in coaching and has been a mentor to my son Evan.  Along with being a friend to me, he is always available to help Evan.  I have seen the way he interacts with the players he coaches and like Joe Paterno, he cares about them as people first.  As I struggle with the feelings since October 7th, I think of the lessons from Coach Paterno and how that relates.  “Success with honor” was one of key goals for Coach Paterno.  It’s also how the IDF behaves.  They have their mission however they go above and beyond to what they can to ensure civilians aren’t harmed.  Unfortunately, Hamas does everything they can to ensure that civilians are harmed.  Coach Paterno had to compete against those who cheated.  Israel has to fight against Hamas who uses hospitals, schools, mosques, and homes as military bases.  Yet neither Coach Paterno nor the IDF compromise their values even when it makes things more difficult. 

The third place I find my inspiration is from my father.  I had a very close relationship with my father and when he died in September 2022, it had a huge impact on me.  My dad always focused on what you do, not what you say.  He focused on family and how important it is.  He cared about people and was always there as a resource to anybody and everybody.  As I struggle with these feelings, I often hear my dad in my head, giving me advice and guidance.  I have wanted to go to Israel since October 7th but my family is too concerned about safety and doesn’t want me to go.  I hear my dad telling me that as much as I want to go, as much as I need to go for myself, nothing is more important than family.  I know he would tell me to do what I can from here and be grateful that I can do things from here, even if it isn’t what I would prefer to do.  As I struggle with the anger and rage, he would tell me to focus on the beauty in my life, my family, my friends, and appreciate what I have rather than be consumed with anger and hate.  Like Dr. King, my dad focused on love and light.  I miss him terribly but even now, he is helping me deal with these feelings.

My brother, my dad, and me. He was my mentor and idol and he continues to teach me every day.

Today was the Ride for Israel in town.  Some wonderful community members put it together and a large crowd showed up for motorcycle and cars driving with Israeli flags, signs, and more throughout Orlando.  For two hours we drove all around town as people honked in support.  We had a great crowd and it felt good to be together as a community in support of Israel and the Kibbutzim that were attacked on October 7th.  It was a day of love, hope, community, friendship and fun.  As I struggle with the feelings post October 7th, it’s things like this along with the inspiration from Dr. King, Joe Paterno, and my dad that get me through it. 

Leaders of the Ride for Israel. What an incredible day.

I do believe and have hope for the future.  And perhaps that hope is what will get me through these challenging days.

Inspiring art and words from Joanne Fink

Sacrifice and the Zac Brown Band

I have loved the Zac Brown Band since I first heard their music.  There is a great energy and it’s fun to listen and sing along.  The lyrics tend to be upbeat and happy just like the music.  As I was listening to one of their biggest hits, Chicken Fried, last night, a section of the lyrics hit me very differently than ever before.  It’s because of October 7th and the aftermath of the Israel-Hamas war, the incredible rise of antisemitism and Jew hatred in this country, and what is happening on college campuses.

The lyrics I refer to are:

I thank God for my life and for the stars and stripes. May freedom forever fly, let it ring. Salute the ones who died. The ones that give their lives, so we don’t have to sacrifice all the things we love. Like our chicken fried and cold beer on a Friday night. A pair of jeans that fit just right and the radio up.

I have always loved those lyrics because as an American, I am truly grateful for those who serve in our military.  I do thank God for my life, for the freedom that exists in America, and for the sacrifices those who serve make every day so that I get to live such a wonderful life.  I truly believe in the slogan, “Home of the free Because of the Brave”.

As I listened to them now, I heard something very different because of what’s going on in Israel.  I have many friends who are currently serving in the IDF in Gaza or in the north, recalled from the reserves.  I have many friends who have children who were recalled from the reserves or are currently serving in the IDF.  I have friends whose relatives were taken hostage by Hamas or were murdered by Hamas on October 7th.  I have connections to a number of IDF soldiers who have died in the war. 

The lines “Salute the ones who died.  The ones that gave their lives, so we don’t have to sacrifice all the things that we love.” really bothered me this time.  As I thought of how Israel recalled 300,000 reservists and expected no more than 250,000 to show up, yet 360,000 actually did show up.  When I think of the hostages still kept in Gaza by Hamas and the IDF soldiers valiantly fighting hand to hand combat to try to rescue them, it’s hard to align that with us not wanting to sacrifice the things we love.  In Israel, they are sacrificing the things they love for the future of Israel and the Jewish people.  They are willing to sacrifice their loved ones.  Their parents, children, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends in defense of Israel and the Jewish people.  They’d gladly sacrifice some comfort food, a cold beer, a comfortable pair of jeans and loud music to get their loved ones back.

I started thinking of all the things we take for granted in our lives and all the people who sacrifice in order for us to have them.  The ability to go to a summer camp as a child.  It wasn’t inexpensive and my parents and grandparents had to sacrifice so we could go.  I went to Jewish Day School for a year, my brother for many years.  We all know private school, especially Jewish private schools, are not inexpensive. Yet another sacrifice.  As parents, my wife and I made the decision that we did not want our kids working while in school. This included college.  Their primary job was school and their education, with their involvement in other things as a secondary priority.  They could work if they wanted but only if their schoolwork, their primary job, was strong. It meant we took care of their spending money, car insurance, etc.  Not a huge sacrifice but we felt an important one. 

My CIT year at Camp Airy (with the girls who were CITs at Camp Louise). What a magical summer. My many years at summer camp only came with sacrifice from my parents and grandparents.

Working as a camp counselor after years of being a camper. I’m still in touch with a number of these guys nearly 40 years later. Thanks mom and dad, grandma and grandpa.

As I am contemplating sacrifice and how, as Americans, we are so entitled, I learned about another example.  Idan Amedi, a well-known Israeli singer and actor, who starred in the amazing TV show Fauda’s as Sagi, was seriously injured in Gaza while voluntarily serving in the IDF. Despite having every excuse not to fight, Idan felt it was his duty to protect his country.   Can you imagine Mark Ruffalo, Brad Pitt, Melissa Barrera, Kanye West or Gigi and Bella Hadid doing this? Can you imagine Susan Sarandon letting her children defend the country?  They are happy to take their money and speak out without knowledge but actually make a sacrifice?

Idan Amedi, known by many as the character Sagi from Fauda. 

Highlighting Idan, a celebrity and entertainer, is the American way to view things.  In Israel, Idan is no different that the father or mother who leaves their family, the business owner who leaves their business not knowing what will be there when they return or many other Israelis who put the country first rather than allowing others to make the sacrifice for them.. 

When I think about things like chicken fried, cold beer, jeans that fit right or loud music in this context, I get angry.  Why?  Because of the things that we choose to matter are really so unimportant, so shallow, especially with hostages still held in Gaza by Hamas. These innocent people who were kidnapped and have been held in brutal conditions for over 100 days.  Kfir Babis turned 1 year old this week, having spent a quarter of his life as a hostage, living underground. 

Kfir at 8 or 9 months old just before being taken as a hostage by Hamas. We can only hope and pray he is still alive now that he turned 1 in captivity.

Karin Ariev, Daniela Gilboa, and Agam Berger, all 19 years old, and Liri Albag, 18 years old, brutalized by Hamas for more than 3 months. We can’t imagine how they are being treated. We cannot forget them.

I think about the atrocities on October 7th and the promises to continue to do it again and again and again by Hamas leadership and I understand, as much as I can living in America, the need for sacrifice. I’ve seen the 47 minute Hamas video. This story below is horrifying but shows the evil of Hamas and why we must never allow evil to continue, even at great personal and communal sacrifice

WARNING – this is hard to listen to so before you hit play, be prepared.

The hostages have not been seen by the Red Cross.  They have not been given medicine.  No human rights organizations are crying for their release or to see them.  You can read what the hostages who have been released report it was like and imagine how much worse it is for those 136.  Do they know there are people in the world who care about them, or do they feel forgotten?  They surely don’t care about a cold beer, chicken fried food, a pair of jeans, or listening to music.  They are paying a horrible price in the fight for Israel and the Jewish people.

 A total of 136 people remain as hostages in Gaza, held by Hamas, after being kidnapped.Their names are listed here. We must never forget them and remember their names and that each one of them is a person with a family.


It’s a lesson to us about priorities and taking responsibility.  In the world we live in, with the situation and challenges we face in America, perhaps learning to take personal responsibility and to serve the greater good is what is sorely needed.

I became obsessed with the writing and thoughts of Kareem Abdul Jabbar a few years ago.  He always makes me think just a little deeper.  In his most recent writing, he highlights a quote from Taika Waititi’s recent soccer movie Next Goal Wins. As Kareem writes, “an American coach is being punished for his on-field outbursts by being assigned to coach a team from American Samoa that not only has never won a game but never scored a single goal. The hard-drinking loner lost in grief for his dead daughter is soon welcomed into the local community where their warmth and love heals him. At one point, the coach tells the local man who has helped him understand the Samoan way of life that he can’t win the game. The man’s response: “Then lose. But don’t lose alone, lose with us.”

In Israel, the people are fighting together.  Politics have been put aside.  Personal grievances are not important.  The wants and needs of the individual are not the focus but the needs of the country are front and center.  The required sacrifice of every person who lives there is something to aspire to.  Jew, Muslim, Christian, Druze, it doesn’t matter.  They are all Israelis and will win or lose together.  They are committed to doing everything they can to win because losing isn’t an option, just like losing alone isn’t an option for the Samoan talking to the coach in the movie. It often seems that in America, we’d rather lose alone.

The song Chicken Fried is lighthearted and meant to be.  Yet there is a powerful lesson to be learned about allowing others to make major sacrifices for our personal pleasure.  I’m grateful to those that keep us safe so we get to live the way do, but I won’t ever take them for granted.  One of my favorite camp counselors was a Viet Nam veteran and I personally saw the impact of the war on him as well as the lack of support he, and those who served, got from the public when they returned. Its something I will never forget. I pray for a quick, safe, and successful end to the war in Gaza, I also pray for the families of and those serving in both the IDF and the US military, for the families of those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, and for those still held in captivity and their families by Hamas. 

Perhaps the lyrics should really be

I thank God for my life and for the stars and stripes. May freedom forever fly, let it ring. Salute the ones who died. The ones that give their lives, and those who continue to serve, so we can continue to live in freedom. Like our freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, and the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

It’s not as catchy, but sure rings truer.

I took this picture myself and wanted to end this post with something hopeful and beautiful. Being there and just looking at the picture and reflecting gives me great hope for the future. 

Change the world one small thing at a time

October 7th and the aftermath is very personal to me and to many other people.  I have friends who had family members murdered at the music festival.  I have friends that had relatives kidnapped by Hamas and taken to Gaza as hostages.  I have friends who raced into danger to fight the terrorists.  I have met with people who were attacked on October 7th and fought back.  I have spoken with people who were at Kfar Aza two days later and saw the massacre in person.  I have friends on the front lines in Gaza and in the north of Israel.  I have friends who have their children on the front lines as well.  Every day when the casualty report comes out, I take a deep breath and read the names of those who lost their lives, hoping and praying that I don’t know any of them.

I don’t know that I can adequately express the impact this has had on me.  The deep pain.  The feelings of loss.  Watching the 47-minute Hamas video of their atrocities was difficult and there are images burned into my brain that will never leave.  I check on family and friends in Israel regularly.  The time they spend in bomb shelters remains shocking.  I message and audio message with a friend who was in the reserves and is now in charge of logistics in Gaza.  The gratitude in his voice that I reached out was both heartbreaking and heartwarming.  When the war is over, he plans to come to visit and I look forward to seeing him and hearing what he is able and willing to share.

   A beautiful piece of art by the amazing Joanne Fink

With all of this going on, it’s hard to find positive things to focus on.  But not impossible.  And when I do, it’s incredibly uplifting.  During the short ceasefire when hostages were released, the four hostages that are related to my friends were released.  One of them, Hila, turned 13 the day after she was released.  Her mother Raaya was released two days after Hila.  My friend who is related to Raaya and Hila began raising money to purchase birthday and Hanukkah gifts for Hila after she was released while her mother was still held in Gaza.  When I saw this, I reached out to see how I could help.

  Hila and Raaya

We ended up creating an Amazon wish list for Hila and sharing it.  People began purchasing the items so quickly that more and more were added.  And people kept purchasing them.  So we added more and more.  And people kept purchasing them.  Everything that was added was purchased. The list was empty at the end. 

One of the things Hila loves is Rare Beauty.  A friend works for them and so I reached out.  She was happy to help and the response from them was amazing. An amazing package was put together by them for Hila.  Another friend reached out to help.  Hila loves closes from Gary V’s and he has a contact there.  They also put together a great package for Hila.  She also loves lululemon clothes.  I get a nice discount there and we used it to buy her the clothes she wanted.  People and companies stepped up to help this 13-year-old girl who had been held hostage by Hamas in Gaza.  It felt good to do something to help her.

Today my friend sent me pictures and video of Hila with the gifts we got for her.  The joy on her face is palpable.  It’s infectious.  The videos are in Hebrew, but you can understand her joy and excitement.  On a day when Israel eliminated significant leadership of Hamas and an escalation from Hezbollah, the Houthis, and Iran is expected, this joy was unexpected and appreciated. 

Hila opening her birthday and Hanukkah gifts from her worldwide Jewish family. Her excitement is infectious.
More gifts for Hila. Listen to the excitement in her voice.

It doesn’t take much to change the world.  We do it one step at a time.  Random acts of kindness.  Being there for friends.  Doing just a little more than is required.  Today’s world is filled with challenges.  Your small effort has rippling and long-lasting effects.  If you don’t believe me, listen to Hila’s excited voice.  Look at the joy on her face.  A lot of people did a little bit to make a difference for this 13-year-old girl who was held hostage by terrorists.  We made her birthday and Hanukkah special this year.  You can do the same for others.

The look on her face melts my heart

That smile for the makeup is precious

How can you not fall in love with her?

You can feel her excitement and awe at the gifts

The gifts from Rare Beauty with the note to her from them. Such a class act.

It’s hard to imagine this sweet child kept in captivity by Hamas. Those are the sneakers she wanted so much and got for her birthday/Hanukkah because of our collective generousity.

The power of stories

Today has been a day focused on stories.  I have found that stories have the most impact and do my best to be a storyteller throughout my career.  As I continue to focus on what’s happening in the war between Israel and Hamas, I find myself captivated by the stories that are now coming out.  Some are sad.  Some are uplifting.  Some are horrifying.  They all are powerful.

When I woke up this morning and began my morning routine of reading various news sources that I like to read (The Free Press, Daniel Gordis and Kareem Abdul Jabbar on substack, 1040 Daily Digest, eJewishPhilanthropy, Jewish Insider Daily, Philanthropy Today, FLAME, and all my sports news), I was struck immediately by the story of Iris Haim. 

Iris’s son Yotam was taken hostage by Hamas on October 7th and brought into Gaza.  He and two others managed to escape and were thought to be terrorists and mistakenly killed by IDF soldiers the other day.  It’s a heartbreaking story.  And yet just days later, here is Iris speaking out to the IDF soldiers who mistakenly killed her son, telling them that she loves them.  That she wants them to visit her so she can give them a hug.  That she knows in the moment they did what they thought was right and what was needed.  Tears came to my eyes as I looked at the picture of her and Yotam while listening to her place the blame where it belongs, on Hamas for taking her son hostage, and sending love to the IDF soldiers.  I can’t imagine what she is going through nor what the IDF soldiers are going through.  It was an extraordinary expression of forgiveness and love.  I had tears in my eyes and have watched in many times to see true humanity.  You can watch the video and below it see her on TV just a few weeks ago talking about Yotam and IDF soldiers who were killed. 

I continued to explore the news and saw a horrific story about the music festival.  Hamas terrorists took the phone of an Israeli at the festival, used his facial recognition to open it, and videoed their torture of him (I won’t write what they did but you can watch the video and learn) and the murder of 9 others at the festival.  They then used his WhatsApp to send the video to all of his friends and then sent it to him mother.  I can’t imagine what his mother thought when she got a message from him, knowing he was at the festival that was under attack, opened it, and saw her son being tortured, mutilated, and humiliated and other friends being murdered.  The brutality is astounding.  I went from being inspired and overwhelmed by love to pure anger and rage.  This is why Israel can’t stop until Hamas is removed and their leadership eliminated.  They are pure evil.  Here is the video that I watched – remember there is graphic description of what happened so be prepared.

As my day came to a close, I read two more stories.  The first was about 85-year-old Yaffa Adar, who shared her story of how she survived 49 days in Hamas captivity.  “Every morning, I’d sing to myself Bocelli and say, ‘God, maybe this will bring a good day. Maybe today will bring [my release],’” she recalled, admitting that for a long time that day never came.

It reminded me of the story of Osama who I met in 2019 and was involved with Combatants for Peace.  He life was changed when he was at his lowest point in prison and was ready to give up when he heard somebody humming a song.  That music gave him hope.  A few years later, at his first Shabbat dinner, they began by singing Shalom Aleichem.  Osama broke down in tears because he realized this was the song that saved his life. 

This story inspired Andrea Bocelli as well, who wrote to Yaffa.  You can read about it and what Bocelli wrote to Yaffa here.  It’s a powerful statement about the power of music and the understanding that our actions and what we give to the world may have much more power than we ever imagine at the time we are doing.

The final story comes from a friend of mine, Sherri Mandell.  Her husband, Rabbi Seth Mandell, was the Hillel Director when I was at Penn State, but I didn’t go to Hillel and never met him there.  He left to be the Hillel Director at University of Maryland, where one of my best friends worked for him.  He later made Aliyah and lived in Tekoah. In May 2001, while living in Tekoah, his 13-year-old son, Koby Mandell, and his friend Yosef Ish Ran were murdered by terrorists near their home.   They started the Koby Mandell Foundation and that’s how and when I met Sherri and Seth. 

In the article today, she writes about how the Israeli government asked permission to show pictures of Koby and Yosef in 2001 and they declined, thinking it would be too hard on them and their family to have them public.  In the aftermath of October 7th, she questions the decision back then and grapples with the balance between personal need and the need for the world to see these atrocities because it didn’t take 30 days for people to begin denying they occurred.  It’s a powerful piece by a mother who has unfortunately dealt with this personally.  Sherri’s book, The Blessing of a Broken Heart , is the most painful book I have ever tried to read  I say tried to read because as a father, I had to put it down about halfway through because my heart was breaking and I was crying.  I tried to get through it out of a feeling of obligation, but I couldn’t.  As I read the piece by Sherri, I found myself thinking of visiting them at their home, meeting their other children, listening to them speak about Koby and the work of the foundation, my own children, and the world we live in today 

Two stories were uplifting. One was horrifying. One filled with sadness. All are emotional. As my day comes to a close, I find myself wondering both if and when we can all find the blessing of our broken hearts.

I think too much

Since October 7th not a day goes by where I’m not thinking of Israel.  Thinking of my friends who are on the front lines.  Thinking of the children of my friends who are fighting in the IDF against Hamas.  Thinking of my friends still running to their safe rooms due to the rockets.  Thinking of my friends on the moshav who need help harvesting the crops.  Thinking of the more than 260,000 Israeli refugees who fled their homes more than 2 months ago and have been living in one hotel room for an entire family since then.  I think about what it’s like to share a hotel room with my 2 adult children for a night or two and can’t imagine more than 2 months of that being our home.  Without our things.  Without a kitchen. 

I use the term Israeli refugees instead of evacuees because I have been an evacuee.  In 1979 we lived in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania when the Three Mile Island (TMI) accident happened.  We evacuated to my grandparents’ home in Connecticut for a week and then returned home.  Living in Florida, we have evacuated to my in-laws in Gainesville when a hurricane is coming.  We’re usually there for a day or two and then return home.  Spending more than two months out of your home, with no return in sight, is not being an evacuee.  It’s being a refugee.

Israel is a small country, and everybody is family.  I learn more about the cost of October 7th all the time.  I have two friends who have family members who were taken hostage by Hamas into Gaza.  Thankfully they were all returned in the last ceasefire.  I have a friend whose cousin was murdered at the music festival.  I have a friend whose son was an IDF soldier that was killed in the fighting on October 7th.  Being Jewish isn’t about our religion, it’s about being part of a people.  It’s being mishpacha, Hebrew for family.  Every day when the names of the soldiers who were killed are released, I take a deep breath and then read the names, hoping and praying that they are not names that I know.  And when they are not people that I know, I am deeply sad because they are people I will never get to know.  People who paid the ultimate sacrifice to save Israel and fight for the Jewish people.

I learned today that there is currently a 60% dropout rate in Israeli high schools.  Think about that – 60% of high school students have dropped out.  Maybe they will return when the war is over.  Maybe they won’t.  How will this affect the IDF, where they normally join after graduation?  What if they go back but are a year behind?  That means that 60% of those who would normally be joining the IDF are not.  How does this affect their long-term success, when military service and the unit you serve in is so integral to future opportunities?

A friend of mine is from Sderot, a town on the Gaza border that I have visited many times.  The playgrounds are also bomb shelters.  The movie theater is also a bomb shelter because why would anybody go to the movies if it wasn’t with the regular rockets fired by Hamas at Sderot.  I’ve been to the police station there many times where they talk to us about the ongoing rocket attacks and show us the rockets that Hamas fired at Sderot.  A friend who was in Sderot just a few weeks ago sent me a picture of the police station.  It’s gone, completely leveled.  My friend who lives there went back last week and told me that the town is empty.  There is nobody there because it’s not safe.  My heart breaks for my brothers and sisters who live on the border and are now refugees inside Israel.

My friends who live on moshav Bitzaron in southern Israel need help harvesting their crops.  I think of how I can put together a mission to help them and how I can approach my wife and children about doing that since they don’t want me to go because they are in fear for my safety in a war.  I haven’t figured out a way to bring that up in a way that wouldn’t get them angry at me for even talking about it, knowing how they feel. 

I think about the rise of antisemitism that I have seen and been talking about for a decade.  I wrote a piece with some colleagues in 2016 for the Seattle Times.  That was more than 7 years ago and yet it has grown.  And I think about the op-Ed disagreeing with me, saying that antisemitism wasn’t a problem and how frustrating it was then and how angry it makes me today.  Over the past 75 years we have convinced ourselves in the United States that we are US citizens just like anybody else.   That antisemitism was going away because of wonders of the United States and our freedom of religion.  Our Jewish history is that we forget who we are due to assimilation.  Here we are again.

In a piece by Daniel Gordis today, he wrote about how, as Jews, our history in the diaspora has always been based on the question, “How long are we going to be here until we get thrown out. Now, why would anybody think they were going to get thrown out? Because they always did.”  Whether it was England in the 1200s, the Spanish Inquisition, the pogroms in Poland/Russia in the 1800s and 1900s, Germany in the 1930s and 1940s, or the many Arab states in the more recent past, this is our history.  Once again, we are finding ourselves facing this hatred in the US and around the world.  Only now we have Israel, our homeland.

I have had a number of people reach out to me to ask questions about what’s going on in Israel and to ask for clarity on many things that they are hearing, or friends are saying to them.  It’s startling to me the lack of information that so many smart, well-educated people have.  The number of people who don’t know that Gaza hasn’t been occupied since 2005 is shocking.  Or that Gaza has a border with Egypt.  Or that the blockade didn’t occur until after Hamas took over and started raining bombs and attacking through the tunnels they built.  People don’t know that Israel has been sending in humanitarian aid and continues to increase it.  There continue to be cries for Ceasefire Now, not understanding that what they are asking for is Israel to allow Hamas to restock, rebuild, and attack again, killing more Jews and resulting in the death of more Gazans.  The lack of information is an incredible failure in Israel education.  It’s why I volunteer my time as a board member for the Center for Israel Education.  I’m proud of the work they do and we need much more of it.  Check out the website – it’s worth it and the amount of information available is incredible.

I think about the word Zionism and how many people don’t know what it means.  How many people think that it means you can’t criticize the government (I don’t know a single Israeli who doesn’t criticize the Israeli government!!).  They think it means that only Jews get to live in Israel.  They think it means that if you aren’t Jewish and are a citizen in Israel, you don’t have equal rights.  They don’t know that it’s simply the right for Jews to have self determination and a state of their own. 

Since October 7th, I think too much.  Yet if I don’t think about these things and do whatever I can to deal with them, who am I?  What do I stand for?  Each of us has a role to play.  We can speak out.  We can educate those who don’t know.  We can learn more ourselves. 

What are you going to do?

Trouble sleeping after the video so a (very) long post to discuss

I saw the video of the Hamas atrocities from October 7, 2023, this past Thursday, December 14, 2023.  It was 47 minutes of horrifying video of the worst that people do to each other.  It was evil incarnate.  The Israel consulate shared with us that they have even worse video that they won’t share because it’s both too horrifying and because they don’t want to traumatize the families of the victims.  After what I viewed, I completely understand and don’t want or need to see that footage.

A friend asked me the next day if I was able to sleep that night, having just witnessed these atrocities and I told them that I had slept ok and was still processing everything that I saw and that I felt and integrating it with conversations I have had with family and friends living in Israel, some actively serving in the IDF and in the middle of the war.

I appreciate the sleep I had the night of Thursday December 14 because I haven’t slept well since.  The more I process, the more I think about it, the more I share with others about the experience, the more I feel my feelings, the worse I sleep.  There is so much that disturbs me about October 7, about what I hear from my Israeli family and friends, about the news coverage and what is happening in our country, what some of our Representatives and Senators in Washington are saying and doing, the United Nations, The International Red Cross, the loss of life that is occurring, all juxtaposed on my own experiences in Israel, with Israeli-Arabs, with Israeli Druze families, and with Palestinians.  My mind constantly spins with many thoughts that consume me.

On my 2019 Encounter trip to Israel, I spent 4 days meeting with leaders of Palestinian civil society and became friends with 4 amazing people.  I have found myself thinking about them often since the video.  They want peace with Israel.  They are vocal about Israel’s right to exist.  They are the people we need to have a larger voice. 

One of them, Ali Abu-Awaad, came to Orlando and spoke to a crowd that was half Israeli just before the pandemic.  The Israelis were blown away as they had never heard a Palestinian speak like that.  I’ll never forget what he said in Ramallah and in Orlando.  “The path to peace is not through Jewish blood.  It is through Jewish hearts.  We have to give the Jewish people a reason to trust us.”  How are they doing?  What are they feeling? 

I think of Osama, who was taught to hate the ‘Yehuds’ from birth, found redemption in an Israeli jail, through Combatants for Peace, and at a Shabbat dinner.  Does he still keep a kippah in his pocket because he never knows when he’ll be invited to Shabbat dinner? (A direct quote from him).  Does he still believe in a better future or has this shaken his hope for the future.

I think of Mahmoud, the owner of the Palestinian bookstore in East Jerusalem, where the password for Wi-Fi was “JerusalemIsOurs” and yet his startling admission to us later that evening that “If Zionism means the Jews have a right to the land and we also have a right to the land, then I am a Zionist.”  This came from somebody who a few years early thought Zionism was evil.  I think of the former Hamas member and former member of the Al Aqsa Brigade that I had lunch with one day.  Are they still on a path to peace or has this brought back their hatred and desire for violence?

I think about my friends and family in Israel.  I check in regularly.  My friends and family in Jerusalem are largely safe but also emotionally impacted.  Most of them have family living elsewhere that are at risk or have children, relatives, and/or friends who are actively serving.  Reading the names of the soldiers lost every day is a painful daily occurrence where we hope and pray not to know any of the names and then feeling guilty that we didn’t know the brave soldiers who paid the ultimate price for the Jewish people and the State of Israel. 

I think about my friends who live on Bitzaron, a Moshav in the south of Israel.  On October 7 we texted via WhatsApp as they hid in their safe room, hoping that terrorists wouldn’t come to their Moshav.  We have kept in touch throughout the time since and I have shared the aching in my soul to be in Israel, volunteering, helping to cook, clean, harvest crops, or do whatever they need me to do.  They have told me not to come yet, it wasn’t safe yet, wait a little longer.   Last week they messaged me, asking if I could come to help them with harvesting the crops as many are reservists, called up to fight in this war, and they don’t have enough people to harvest the crops.  It broke my heart telling them I couldn’t come now, as my family doesn’t want me to go because of their fears for my safety.  My wife has been to Israel 5 times and knows the realities.  My kids have seen me go to Israel most of their lives and know my love and passion for the country and the people.  They know how much I want to go and yet, as of now, I won’t go in order to honor their needs.  And yet I think of Irit and Avi and the Moshav and their crops and the need for food for the country and am left so conflicted.

I think of my friends and their children who are currently serving on the front lines.  I think of their bravery.  Some close to my age yet still on the front lines.  Others are 18, 19, 20, 21 – younger than my own children – who are doing what is needed for the Jewish people and the State of Israel.  I worry about them every single day, those serving in the South and in Gaza as well as those in the north dealing with Hezbollah.  I pray for their safety and that this war ends successfully soon so they can return to their lives.

I think of my friends who have family members that were either murdered on October 7 or were taken hostage.  The two that I know were hostages have thankfully been released.  I have previously written about Hila, kidnapped at 12 years old and released the day before her 13th birthday.  I’m so grateful to everybody who went to the Amazon page we set up to buy her birthday and Hanukkah gifts so she would feel the love from the worldwide Jewish and non-Jewish community.  Everything we listed and added and added was purchased and sent to her.  Her mother was released just after Hila’s birthday, so they are together but how are they doing?  How shattered are they?  How will they recover?  I have a little relief knowing that all of us joined together to help in our small way for her birthday and for Hanukkah to bring some light to their darkness. 

I think about those who are still hostages.  Are they alive?  Do they believe we haven’t forgotten them?  What about the infant and the children?  What about the women who were raped and taken captive?  Are they still being raped?  Are some of them now pregnant with their rapist’s baby?  Will they ever be released?  We are now getting daily reports of hostages murdered in captivity by Hamas.  Are they all dead and we are just waiting to hear the news day by day?  What about the tragic shooting of 3 escaped hostages by the IDF?  Are there more hostages that escaped?  What about the IDF soldiers who shot them – they were trying to keep safe and alive and now have to live with this for the rest of their lives. 

I think about those in Gaza who will remain after Hamas is removed.  How do we take care of them so that they believe in peace and in a future without violence, with prosperity and freedom?  How and who will rebuild Gaza?  I pray it will be the Abraham Accord countries who have the resources and can help put in a new government that will benefit the people of Gaza and give them a chance for a meaningful and fulfilling life that occurs peacefully next to their neighbor, Israel.  Is there hope?  Will we lose focus and leave them to be ‘saved’ by Iranian money once again? 

I think about all those calling for a “Ceasefire Now” because it sounds wonderful and their believe it will save lives, not understanding that Hamas has said they will commit the same atrocities or worse again and again and again.  Their leadership has said this publicly, on video, multiple times.  “Ceasefire now” means let Hamas regroup, rearm, and begin to murder Israelis once again, continuing the cycle of violence and ensuring more die.  How do we help them see that evil must be eradicated.  That there is no diplomacy with evil.  The only trust that exists with evil is that they aren’t trustworthly.

I think about the International Red Cross and how they haven’t seen a single hostage in captivity in Gaza.  Their only role has been to serve as a taxi service for those being released.  How they refuse to ensure needed medication gets to the hostages.  The abject failure of this organization haunts me and angers me. 

I think about UNRWA and how ineffective they are and how they are actively keeping Hamas going and harming the citizens of Gaza.   The Gazan people are rioting and stealing the aid from the warehouses because they know Hamas will steal it from UNRWA and they won’t get the food and medicine and water being supplied daily.  I think about the UNRWA employees who kept hostages in their homes.  About the doctor at a hospital who kept a hostage in his home.  These are the ‘innocent civilians’ we hear about and they are not innocent, they are complicit.

I think about being safe in the United States and around the world.  I haven’t felt safe in a year and have taken steps and continue to take steps to ensure my safety and the safety of my family.  I wait for the violence against Jewish people in the United States to increase significantly.  I wait for the first of what I fear will be many Jewish mass casualties in the United States.

I’m sorry this is so long but now you know why I have trouble sleeping since watching the video.  You know what I think about when I am awake and when I close my eyes. 

Watching the Hamas video from October 7, 2023

As a passionate Zionist who has been to Israel 20 times, October 7, 2023 impacted me greatly.  I have family and friends that live in Israel, some who live in the south.  Luckily, none of my friends who live in the south were attacked by the terrorists although family of friends were at K’far Aza, and I have since met somebody from Moshav Ein Habasor who was there on October 7th.  An Israeli friend from one of my Momentum trips lost his son on October 7th.  Another friend’s cousin and her 13-year-old daughter were hostages taken by Hamas into Gaza (both have since been released, although at separate times).  I have friends who are now on the front lines in Gaza and in the north.  I have friends whose children are currently serving in the IDF and fighting the war with Hamas.  I am in daily contact with friends and family in Israel, checking in on them and making sure they are ok.  Israel and October 7th is very personal for me.  So, when I heard that the Israel Consulate in Florida was hosting briefings and showing the 47-minute video of the Hamas atrocities around the State of Florida, I knew we had to do it in Central Florida.  I reached out to the consulate, and we scheduled it for Thursday December 14, 2023 at 9 am.

Our target was legislators, media, law enforcement, University Presidents, local Rabbis, and targeted community members.  Our local state representatives showed up, law enforcement showed, and the targeted community members showed.  We had some media but no University Presidents.  The nearly 40 people in attendance were a good cross section of our targeted audience.

I was apprehensive about watching the video.  I had read plenty about it and knew it was going to be awful.  A true representation of people’s inhumanity to people.  I also knew that for me, I had an obligation to bear witness to what Hamas terrorists did and owed it to the victims to watch.  As the video started, the room was eerily silent.  This silence continued through the entire video.

I don’t want to get into the details of the entire video.  Others have done that.  For me, there were a few things that struck me deep and will remain with me forever. 

I want to warn you that these are graphic descriptions.

The Hamas terrorist calling his parents to brag about having killed “10” or “at least 10” Jews.  The excitement in his voice was bone chilling.  Yet, for me, what was worse was listening to his mother’s response.  “Kill, Kill, Kill” is what she told him.  This was a recording made by Hamas to document the excitement of murdering Jews.

The Hamas terrorist, reporting to his superior, about the Jews that he had decapitated.  He brags about cutting off their heads and shooting them in the head.  And the Hamas supervisor telling him to bring the heads back to Gaza so they could ‘play with them’.  Another recording made by Hamas.

The dog at a Kibbutz – you see him in the distance barking and running towards the terrorists.  You know what is going to happen before it does.  And then it does – the terrorist shoots the dog three times, killing it. 

A father and his two sons racing through their house in their underwear to get to the safe room ahead of the terrorists.  They get there but the Hamas terrorists throw a grenade into the room before they can shut the door.  The father jumps on the grenade to save his sons, sacrificing himself in the process.  The children are taken by Hamas back to the kitchen where the Hamas terrorist opens the fridge, takes a drink, then grabs a bottle of Diet Coke and starts drinking it.  The boys are distraught.  One has lost the vision in one eye and as you look closely you can see it is clearly damaged.  They cry for their father who they know is dead.  And they wail, “why am I still alive?”.  They end up being left alone and run away.  Their sadness and cries are something I will never forget.

A dead Israeli lies on the floor while a Hamas terrorist take a hoe and tries to decapitate him.  His body bounces with each blow towards his neck.  The terrorist gives up as it’s not happening easily.  The hoe hitting his head and neck and his body bouncing is something I will always remember.

Watching a Hamas video as the terrorist takes a knife to the neck of a dead IDF soldier and begins to carve away, finally removing the soldier’s head from his body.  You see him slice through the neck.  You see the graphic detail of a beheading.  Then, holding it by the top of his helmet, he walks out of the room, leaving the headless body lying on the floor.

Hamas terrorists bringing dead Israeli bodies back to Gaza.  The Gazan people in the streets celebrating as the bodies are rolled into the street.  The people of Gaza kicking and punching the dead bodies of Israelis, spitting on them.  The cheers and joy in their faces as they assault the dead bodies of Israeli citizens.  The pure hatred coming from the people of Gaza, the ‘innocent civilians’, as they celebrate the murder of Israeli citizens. 

The Hamas terrorists capture a room full of women.  The video cuts to the women being led out of the room, clearly after a period of time.  As you watch their reactions, you can tell that they were abused.  Some can’t look up.  Some have blood on their pants in the crotch and their backside.  We were later told by the consulate that there are graphic rape scenes that out of respect for the women, are not shown or included in the video.  Hearing that made watching these women even more painful.

IDF soldiers going into a home in a Kibbutz.  As they enter, the floor is covered in blood.  The walls are splattered with blood.  The deeper they go into the house, the more blood that is on the floor.  It’s literally a red floor painted with blood.  Huge pools in some places.  The brutality that must have occurred for that much blood to be in the entire house.

A number of houses where the bodies were burned beyond recognition, some mainly being ash.  Some decapitated and then burned.  Some barely recognizable as human.  And the sheer number of them that were burned alive. 

The desperation in the voices of the responders to the music festival massacre as they arrive and try to see if anybody is alive there.  As they walk through, they call ‘is anybody there’ and get no reply.  They begin by counting the number of dead people and reporting it but they stop quickly as there simply are too many dead bodies.  “Everybody on the stage is dead” they report. “Everybody in the concessions is dead” they report.  The camera shows the massive number of dead bodies that were massacred by the Hamas terrorists while they were at a music festival.  I had seen the video before but never heard the desperation in the voices of those responding to the massacre. 

The faces of the terrorists after each person they murder.  The smiles.  The joy.  The happiness.  Once proclaims, “This is my first kill!” with such joy and excitement it burned inside me.  I’ll never forget the faces of the terrorists and the joy they had in murdering Jews.  The celebration.  The clear rush of adrenaline they had and their desire to kill more and more and more.  I don’t like to hate.  It’s a powerful and negative emotion that only causes harm, however with each of these faces I found myself hating them, wanting them to be hunted down like the animals they showed themselves to be.  It’s not who I am yet it is who they are.

The video was 47 minutes long and there were 35-40 people in the room.  It was completely silent for the entire 47 minutes.  Watching the footage was difficult and painful.  It tore at my insides.  I found myself clenching my teeth throughout much of it as the anger and sadness and pain overwhelmed me. 

I’m still processing what I watched.  I’m still processing the horrors of the Hamas terrorists.  I know there is a sadness and hole inside me because of October 7th that after seeing it is bigger than it was before.  The urge to do something and make a difference is far greater than it was just 12 hours ago. 

Hamas is evil.  And we must fight evil with everything that we have.  If we allow evil to live, it only grows, it never dies of its own accord.  War is terrible and nobody wants it, however Hamas must be eliminated.  The evil that was done on October 7th is just the beginning if we don’t stop it now.  The leadership of Hamas have told us this directly.  Watching this video showed just how evil they are and that we need to believe them when they say they will do what they did on October 7th over and over and over and over again.  And that they will bring it to Europe, America, and Canada. 

The sacrifice of the father, the faces and cries of his sons, the faces of the women captured by Hamas, and the joy on the faces of these evil men will never leave me. 

Am Yisrael Chai