Yesterday and today I am consumed with the Bibas family. Shiri Bibas and her children, Ariel and Kfir. Hamas has reported them dead and that their bodies will be returned tomorrow, February 20th. I think of Yarden Bibas, Shiri’s husband and Ariel and Kfir’s father. My heart is torn in two for him. He endured nearly 500 days of brutal captivity and torture only to be released into a different type of brutal captivity and torture.
Yet we cannot think that the Bibas family is the only situation where beautiful young Jewish children were murdered simply for being Jewish.
On Oct 7, savage barbarian Hamas animals shot & killed 9 month old Mila Cohen in Be’eri.
This isthe Siman Tov family, an Israeli-American family. Johnny and Tamar, along with their children Shahar (5), Arbel (5), and Omer (2), were murdered by Hamas terrorists on October 7th in their home in Kibbutz Nir Oz, southern Israel. They were burned alive.
Hamas set fire to the family’s house in an attempt to force them out of their safe room and kill them, but they stayed inside. Johnny, the father, sent a final text to his sister: “They’re here. They’re burning us. We’re suffocating.”
Johnny’s mother, Carol, a 70-year-old woman, was also murdered by Hamas terrorists with her dog in her own home
The Siman Tov family. Johnny (z’l), Tamar (z’l), Omer (z’l), Shahar (z’l) and Arbel (z’l).
On that day, over a dozen other children under the age of 10 were brutally murdered among the 1,200 victims. Thirty eight (38) children were murdered on October 7th with 42 children abducted to the Gaza Strip by Hamas and other terrorist organizations. Here are pictures of some of them so we never forget their faces. Note that they are not all Jewish but they all lived in Israel, killed by genocidal terrorists that the world and college campuses glorify.
Yet today it is the Bibas family that is in my soul. For 500 days I hoped and prayed that they were still alive and would be returned alive. I wanted to see Ariel and Kfir play and laugh and grow up. I wanted to see Shiri and Yarden raise their beautiful children and maybe even add to their family. It appears that will not happen as Hamas has reported that Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir’s bodies will be returned to Israel on February 20th. This has not been confirmed by Israel.
This is a picture that should haunt us all forever. It shows the evil of Hamas. A panicked mother, holding her children close, fear exuding out of the image into each of us. What would she have done to save her children that day? What would any of us have done to save our children? Anything and everything that we could. She was powerless and so were we.
I read this powerful piece about this picture and Shiri Bibas and her family. My blood boils. My heart breaks. Imagine it was your children, your grandchildren, your siblings. Imagine it was your nieces and nephews. Babies. This is the face of evil. We cannot let the world close their eyes, bury their heads, and tell more lies. We have gone beyond the place of reason and directly into the fight against evil where there is only one acceptable outcome. Evil is eliminated.
Someone filmed this moment Someone stood there Looking at a mother holding her two babies Protecting them with her body, her heart, her soul. Someone stood there And saw And watched Someone and another someone and another someone and maybe even another mother And no one reached out and said “Come on mama, come on mama…” And all the light went out long ago And what if I were there in her place And what if I had to choose who to keep holding And of whom to let go Because there isn’t a single mother Who can contain her pain over her children And the look in her eyes – this is every mother’s greatest fear It’s a look that stares at the devil And starts a negotiation Take me Leave them Take me, leave one Do with me whatever you want Just have someone take them to a safe corner Only a mother can understand a look like that And I I wasn’t there either…..
Lisa Davidson Oren
When I look at the pictures of the beautiful Bibas children, tears come to my eyes. Sweet, innocent children. A toddler and an infant. Ripped from their home by terrorists. How scared must they have been? How much did Shiri and Yarden try to comfort them? I think back to when my boys were that age and tears come to my eyes, pain in my chest, rage filling my heart.
Rabbi Mendy Kaminker of Chabad of Hackensack wrote this powerful and beautiful poem. It struck me powerfully as I think of this beautiful child, kidnapped, tortured, and murdered simply because he was Jewish. This picture cuts deep in my heart. Evil took him and yet the world responds by encouraging evil to continue.
Oh, young redhead toddler You like a little angle With a smile from heaven But you are stuck in hell
If you were An endangered whale The world would have stopped at nothing To save you
Heads of countries Would have spent millions To bring you back home
But you are not a whale You are just a small Jewish toddler
We prayed for you Your brother, your mother And even now, we keep on praying
And whatever happens We will not forget your smile Because you are our brother
Oh dear Oh G-d Your people have suffered enough We beg you to bring Moshiach And end suffering forever
Far too many of our ‘leaders’ have remained silent or spoken up for the ‘innocent Gazans’ without speaking up for the innocent Israelis. They have been silent about the hostages, complaining about a response by Israel that was too much. How would they respond if the United States was invaded, our citizens mass murdered, kidnapped, taken hostage, and tortured. We saw the results of September 11th which was smaller in scope. A 20 year war. When the claims are that too many people are dying, let’s take a look at what happened after September 11th.
U.S. military personnel
Between 2001 and 2021, 2,459 U.S. military personnel died in Afghanistan
1,922 of those deaths were in action
18 CIA operatives were killed
20,769 U.S. service members were wounded in action
Civilians
The Costs of War Project estimates that 46,319 Afghan civilians died in the war
The Uppsala Conflict Data Program estimates that 212,191 people died in the war
Opposition fighters
The Costs of War Project estimates that at least 52,893 opposition fighters died in the war
Other casualties
1,822 civilian contractors died
Thousands of Afghans died
The war also resulted in injuries, illnesses, displacement, malnutrition, and environmental degradation
The war in Afghanistan began after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. The U.S. government spent $2.3 trillion on the war.
The Jew haters and antisemites try to make Israel’s response to Hamas’s attack, declaration of war, murder, kidnapping, and torture of her citizens as more than normal in war. They try to paint Israel and the Jews as overreacting and going beyond the scope of war. This is a bald faced lie. The numbers above prove it. Displacement is a part of losing a war. We have seen that throughout history. It’s part of what discourages countries from engaging in war. Otherwise there is no risk in losing a war so it would happen more frequently. The world is asking Israel to enable Hamas, Hezbollah, and Iran to wage continuous war in an attempt to eliminate Israel and the Jews. That is unacceptable.
When our leaders do speak out, it is important to note it and thank them. Unfortunately they are rare. Representative Ritchie Torres has been one of them. His post below is clear, powerful, and on-target. I thanked him and encourage you to do the same.
Thank you @RitchieTorres for continuing to be a voice of compassion and clarity against evil. I only wish more of your members of the US House of Representatives would follow your leadership. https://t.co/l6Hab1RMg7
My friend Rabbi Leor Sinai reminded us of an important fact that the world fails to recognize. He wrote, “Shiri, Ariel & Kfir Bibas were taken by Gazan civilians, not Hamas. In fact the majority of 3,000+ invaders on Oct 7 were Gazan civilians. Let that sink in. It is a culture and society in disease. This Thursday is going to be hard. All of Israel will mourn.” The media and the world fail to acknowledge that much of what happened on October 7th were civilian driven. I’ll never forget hearing from a man at Kfar Aza who was there on October 7th. His front porch became the headquarters for Hamas leadership as he and his wife hid in their safe room. His description of watching a man come from Jabaliya on crutches, crossing the fields and the broken fencing, going into a home and coming out with a television strapped to his back as he used his crutches to return to Jabaliya, will always remind me that this was not just Hamas. This was civilians. On November 20, 2024, Prime Minister Netanyahu offered $5 million and safe passage out of Gaza to anyone returning a hostage. We know hostages were being held and are being held by private citizens. Three (3) months later, not a single person has taken him up on this offer. It’s not just the Hamas militants that are involved.
On the same day that Hamas announced that the Bibas children and Shiri Bibas were murdered, in the United States, in New York, in Borough Park, we had this violence. There is no condemning of this from the media. Even New York Governor Kathy Hochul issued the weak statment of, “Last night we saw protesters in Boro Park targeting Jewish New Yorkers with hateful rhetoric and antisemitic chants. This is unacceptable. We are grateful to @NYPDnews for their diligent work keeping all New Yorkers safe.” Nothing about the violence. Only about ‘chants’.
The violence in Borough Park from an anti-Israel, Jew hating, ‘pro-Palestinian’ mob.
On November 7, 2023, just a month after the horror of October 7th, Senator John Fetterman not only put up the posters of every hostage on the walls of his office, he also posted this on X and pinned it to his account where it remains today. It’s sad that our allies are so few and inspiring when they are so public.
In my front office I have displayed the posters of the innocent Israelis kidnapped by Hamas.
— U.S. Senator John Fetterman (@SenFettermanPA) November 7, 2023
I am conflicted. With stage 1 about to conclude, with Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas likely confirmed dead tomorrow, with most of the remaining hostages likely dead, where do we go from here? I hope that Israel demands all the hostages back immediately for there to be a phase 2. I hope the US will back them up. I hope Hamas will agree. I don’t think they will agree. I’m not sure a phase 2 will happen otherwise. The slow process cannot continue. After 500 days it is enough. The hostages have suffered enough. The families of the hostages have suffered enough. The people of Israel have suffered enough. The families of IDS soldiers and those serving in milium (reserves) have suffered enough. The Jewish people have suffered enough. It’s time to put an end to this once and for all. Whatever it takes.
I am reminded of a few quotes from former Prime Ministers Golda Meir and Menachem Begin to ring true more than 40 years after they said them. Read and them and think. Read them and ponder. It’s clear to me what we have to do, no matter how much the world doesn’t want to let us because the world doesn’t want us to exist. I won’t apologize for wanting to live. I won’t apologize for fighting those who want me and all Jews dead. For those of you who do apologize, think of how your words of apology will look on your tombstone if you are lucky enough to have one and not be in a mass grave. That’s the harsh reality we face. The truth isn’t easy and neither is the path forward. But if we want a path forward, we must do whatever it takes to ensure there is one.
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Last night I went to see the Jewish musical star Pink in concert. I bought tickets a long time ago and heard that she was a tremendous performer. I like her music, although I’m far from a rabid fan. With Sheryl Crow opening, I was excited for the show.
Sheryl Crow was awesome. She brought me back in time with her classic songs and while the show was in a stadium, I wish she was in a smokey crowded bar where you could really feel and appreciate her music. I enjoyed her performance as it brought me back to simpler times.
Then it was time for the main event. Pink was electric from the very beginning. Her energy and joy filled the stadium with positivity. Since October 7th, over a year ago, I’ve had a hard time truly letting go and embracing joy. Last night, Pink unlocked that for me. What a performer. She exuded happiness. Love flew from every song and every time she talked to us. Her very first song set the tone – watch and listen as she bounces with joy and flies effortlessly.
Her flying early in the show was beautiful. The music was great and she added elegance and beauty. The past 12 plus months have been filled with so much ugliness. October 7th and those images never leave me. I’m glad that I saw the Hamas 47 minute video but it altered who I am. I am glad that I have been to the Nova site twice, heard from survivors, and those involved with rescuing people that day, but the horror is now a part of me. I’m glad that I went to Kfar Aza twice, heard the stories from the IDF and from somebody who was there that day and recently returned to their home. I’m glad that I saw what the Hamas terrorists did but those images are burned into my soul. Last night, as she performed, it was the first time since October 7th that the only thing in my mind, heart, and soul was beauty and love.
Her cover of Pat Benatar’s “Heartbreaker” got us up, singing and dancing. I was transformed to the early 80s and my high school days. To simpler times. A time when hate didn’t dominate the world. When we didn’t see daily antisemitism and Jew hatred. Violence against Jews wasn’t happening on the streets of Amsterdam, Paris, New York, Chicago, and so many other places. I thought of my diverse group of friends from that time – we didn’t think about identity politics or our differences – we focused on the people we liked. So many of them are still friends today. Jewish, Christian, Mormon, Black, White, Gay, and Straight. We played sports together, went to parties together, hung out on the streets together, went to concerts together, and got in trouble together. I miss the simpleness of those times. The moral clarity that existed for us in high school and then college. Enjoy the song and performance, I sure did.
I wish that I recorded Pink as she talked to, and about, her mother and their relationship. Her mom was in the front row and it was a classic Jewish mother moment. We all laughed but I think those of us who have Jewish mothers laughed a little deeper as she talked about her mom telling her what to do and then watching her mom actually do it from the audience and Pink listening to her and then begging her to stop. When she talked about her late father, it hit home deeply for me. It brought me right back to my dad and the relationship we had. It made me sad and joyous at the same time. While I don’t know her, never met her, and have no personal relationship, I know we bonded over the loss of our fathers. Then she brought her daughter on stage to sing part of a song with her. What a highlight. I enjoyed watching Pink’s face more than anything else as she listened and watched her daughter Willow sing. As a father, there is nothing better than seeing my children succeed. Their joy and success is so much better and more powerful than my own. I could see that on Pink’s face and it reinforced my committment to do whatever I can to make this world a better place for my children and eventual grandchildren. There is no excuse for us to sit back and not do the work. Not put in the effort. We are not responsible for the outcome but we are each responsible for doing the work. That’s a summary from Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of our Fathers. It shows that anybody can learn and even teach a little Torah.
The show ended with an incredible encore where Pink literally flies across the stadium. The freedom in the song and as she flies is so clear. It’s a reminder that we control how we feel. We control whether we want to be tied down, locked up, bitter and angry, or if we want to be free, flying through the air, looking for the beauty and enjoying what the world offers. It takes effort to do it, but the power to live meaningful and beautiful lives is entirely in our own hands. The question is are you willing to do the work? Watch Pink fly and sing – see and feel the freedom. As the movie version of Wicked is about to be released, watch Pink defy gravity. Sorry I lose her for a bit but you get to see the audience during that time and feel the energy.
Pink inspired me last night It shows that you don’t have to truly be a torah scholar to inspire people with Torah values. It also shows how learning some Torah can help you see Jewish wisdom in every day life.
My friend Yocheved Ruttenberg is another real example of this. Founder of the Sword of Iron Facebook group with 40,000 members all interested in volunteering in Israel, her story as a 23 year old changing the world is inspiring. She recently won the Z3 Bridge Builder award. Her speech highlights her story and what she has done and what she is doing. It is inspiring.
The joy Yocheved brings to the 40,000 members of Sword of Iron is incredible. I read the posts of people volunteering in Israel and sharing their pictures doing it. I read about all the amazing volunteer opportunities and am astounded and inspired. It makes me wish I was independently wealthy and could just go and volunteer full time in Israel. From picking fruits and vegetables to helping rebuild in the south. Preparing BBQs for IDF soldiers to making tzizit for them. Helping those in need in every aspect of society. All done with gratitude. All done with grace. All done from the heart. All for our Jewish brothers and sisters who are fighting for the survival of the Jewish people. If you really want to experience the joy of Yocheved and her work, watch this Shabbat Shalom video. I can’t get enough of it. I dare you to only watch it once. It’s infectious.
There are so many ways to change the world and the world needs changing. You can do it through music. You can do it with volunteering. You can do it by helping others. A friend of mine who made aliyah years ago reached out today. He and his family will be in the United States to get away for a much needed respite in December. They will be in Florida for part of their trip and like my family, love sports and wanted to go to the Orlando Magic game for Jewish Heritage Night. They were having trouble getting tickets and asked for my help. Quickly, I was able to secure tickets for him in the block at an affordable price. I then reached out to a friend to see if they can help with some VIP experiences for their children. After the year that they have experienced, the least I can do is try to help them have some peace and joy. Just like Pink gave me last night, I can help them have a few moments of joy where they aren’t worried about sirens, they aren’t worried about rockets, they aren’t worried about friends in the IDF and if they are alive or not. They can be kids, enjoying a basketball game and maybe getting some special access. It didn’t take much for me to help. A little research. A few text messages. It did take effort but not much. Often times we don’t realize how easy it can be to make a difference in the lives of others. How we can give a little bit of life and levity to those in need.
I work with Dror Israel, and amazing organization that helps children with schools, youth groups, and summer camps. Their ZIONIST youth movement is in all the Druze villages and in 55 Arab villages with more than 20,000 Arabs involved. They do amazing work. In this same context, they are creating restorative trips for children and families to get away from areas with sirens, to go to Mitzpe Ramon (Israel’s version of the Grand Canyon). This short video highlights what they do and what the effect and impact is. They are changing the lives of these children and families and changing the world.
We have the ability to change the world with our own actions. Pink gave me a few hours of pure joy like I haven’t had since October 7th. Here is the question I pose to you. What are you going to do to find your joy. To find your stress relief? And what are you going to do to help others who are in need and can’t do it themselves? We all have that responsibility. It is Kol Yisrael Arevim zeh Bazeh(All of Israel is responsible for each other). Jewish or not, we can be inspired by this lesson. Each of us can change the world, one person at a time, one action at a time.
Let’s all choose to be like Pink, who electrified and inspired 75,000 people last night. Who sent a message of love, inclusion, support, family, and values. The movie The Waterboy puts it best. You can do it!
I arrived in Israel this time on Thursday September 12th. My flight was changed to leave 3 hours early so I arrived at 3:30 am. The airport was empty – a strange thing at any time. I got to my hotel by 5 am, they let me check in 10 hours early for a 280 shekel charge, and I was in business. A shower, a nap, and off to my first meeting of the trip. The first four days were a combination of meeting with potential clients, friends, and enjoying Israel and the beach. I got a lot accomplished and was able to really enjoy being in Israel.
I also began spending some time with Israelis without touring. Time talking about life. About the last year and how things had changed. Most of my trips to Israel involve an itinerary related to seeing locations. Jerusalem and the Old City. The Kotel. The Kotel tunnels. The City of David. Masada. The Dead Sea. The mystical city of Tzfat. Ammunition Hill. The strategic value of the Golan Heights and the importance of the Galilee for agriculture. Meaningful places that help me ask and answer questions about myself and what it means to be a part of a people that is over 3,000 years old. I could tell this trip would be different. This wasn’t going to be a trip about my own self exploration. This wasn’t about who I am, who I want to be and how to get there. This was going to be an experience focused on who Israel was. The impact of October 7th. Who Israel is currently. Who Israel might be in the future. From time spent with my friends Grace and Yocheved who live in Israel (both made Aliyah about 30 year apart) to my friends Margot and Tamar (Margot made aliyah over a decade ago while Tamar is a sabra) I could tell just how different the country is and the impact on them. It was going to be a different type of exploration.
I had Shabbat dinner with Margot, Tamar, and their family in Modi’in. I wrote about that previously. On the drive home, Tamar and I had a deep and meaningful conversation. Knowing her as a proud Israeli and her history it was painful to listen to her uncertainty about the country we both love. As a mom, she expressed the concern for her children. She expressed her concern for the impact on not just her and Margot as parents but on her friends who are parents. The challenges of her children being so young and yet seeing and hearing things that were not age-appropriate. Her 9 year old daughter asking questions that are meant for much older children but are now part of her reality. Hostages. Hate. Murder. Invastion. Loss of family. She shared a dream her daughter told her about where terrorists came to their house, killed everybody but her and took her into captivity as a hostage. No 9 year old should have this as part of their reality. As a parent, my heart broke.
Our talk took the entire drive. It was deep. She shared things she needed to but hadn’t had a safe space. Everybody in Israel is living this horror. It was the first glimpse for me into what Israelis are really going through. It hurt. Deeply. These are my people. My family. My mishpacha. The last 11 months have not only been horrific, each day makes it a little worse as there is more death. More rockets. More destruction. More hostages found or confirmed dead. More fear of it happening again. Does Israel stop to get as many hostages back and let the people heal, knowing full well that they will end up repeating this again in the future? Do we do whatever it takes to end it and worry about the human and emotional toll after? Theoretically it had been a challenge for me as I debated in my own head. Talking with Tamar showed me it isn’t theoretical. It’s real people struggling with real emotion and life. We got to my hotel and gave each other a big hug. It was the start of my head spinning journey that continues on the plane as I write this.
Saturday night I had dinner with a group of newer friends. All but one I met just a few days before. Most were Israelis who had made aliyah. Two were IDF soldiers, recalled from the reserves to fight in Gaza. As we talked over dinner, I could see the impact the war has had on them. These two Americans who moved to Israel to follow their zionist dream not only got their dream but also their nightmare. One had finished his reserve duty, the other was about to go back in for another round of reserve duty. The one who had finished his was preparing to return to America and then to travel. He needed to get out of israel and get away. He needed to wander and clear his head. It was obvious to me that the other one needed this as well but didn’t have that option as he was back in mellowim (reserves) and had to finish this round before he could even consider it. I tried to think what it must be like to make aliyah, live your dream, join the army and complete your service. Begin to start you life as an Israeli when all hell breaks lose. Your dream becomes a nightmare. In and out of reserves. In and out of Gaza. Seeing things nobody should see. I realized it was something I simply could never comprehend. I have called this Israel’s greatest generation. They have showed up in a way that was unexpected and unprecidented. They are paying the price for it. When this is finally over, how long will it take them to heal? How will their children be affected? For those that don’t have children, how long will it take for them to have children? Immediately? A few years? Many years? Never?
The diaspora Jews have showed up as well. Many have chosen to flock to Israel to volunteer. What other people run TOWARDS a war zone? This was my third trip since October 7th. I would have come more often except my family wouldn’t let me go until May 2024, 7 months after October 7th. I would have gone October 8th and they know it. My friend Mark had never been to Israel before October 7th. This was his 3rd trip since. He’ll be back in December. All to volunteer. All to make a difference. Masha was back to volunteer again and brought her sister Diana on her first trip to Israel. Leon was back to volunteer again and again. He took his break on Shabbat and then went right back to working hard in the fields. He’s a successful attorney who leaves his practice to do this. Masha has found a way to work remotely so she can do her job while in Israel. Mark takes time off from his career. The sacrifice is clear. It is inspiring. Yocheved left her job and got on a plane in October to be in Israel while her brother fought in Gaza. She helped start a volunteer organization, Sword of Iron, that now has nearly 40,000 people a part of it. She is 24 and has literally changed the world.
Yocheved and me at the group dinner on the beach in Tel Aviv
Is this a new definition of Judaism? Is a return to our Zionist roots, working the land, giving of ourselves, going to be the next advent in Judaism for those who are Jewish at heart but have not been Jewishly connected? There are many who are running far away from Israel, yet there are many who are literally running to Israel. I have alway believed that Israel is core to my identity as a human being and as a Jew. Is this going to be a new reality for many Jews? I have watched as Israel has changed the lives of so many people and the impact of October 7th has completely changed who they are. I know it has changed me. I know it has changed others. When we look back in 100 years will see this being a turning point? The rise of the greatest generation of Israelis since the founding of the state? The change in the diaspora in their relationship with Judaism?
Sunday night I met with one of my partners and a potential client. Hersh Polin Goldberg (z’l) was a key part of the conversation. There were things about him that I didn’t realize. Things that made his death that much more tragic. An even bigger loss, if that’s even possible. As I was talking business, his presence hovered over us along with all the hostages still in Gaza. It was an introduction to the trauma of the hostages on Israeli society that I was about to experience. After our meeting, we headed to Jaffa for a private talk by Avigdor Lieberman, a candidate for Prime Minister when the elections finally happen. While it was entirely in hebrew, one of my partners translated for me. Once again, it was eye opening to sit in the room and hear what he was saying. The questions were blunt and powerful. Pointed. He answered them all. Some with the answers that I expected and others in ways I did not expect. While I knew Israel wasn’t the same country since October 7th and felt it on my two prior visits, this was a different depth that I hadn’t experienced before. It continued building on the conversation Tamar and I had on the drive. The future of Israel is undetermined. Not the physical existance but the spiritual existance. The essence of what the country is going to stand for and what level of trust the people were going to have. It reminded me of Michael Oren saying that on October 7th the 2 convenants the government made with the people in 1948 were broken. The first is “Never Again”. Never again died on October 7th. The second is that the IDF will always be there to protect Israeli citizens. That myth also died on October 7th. An existential covenant broken. A country questioning who they are and what they stand for. The soul of the country on the table up for debate. If I thought that it would now be time to chew on this and come up with some bright, pithy statement, I was very wrong. It was just the start of what would overload me and keep my head spinning all week long.
Monday we went to Kiryat Gat, the temporary home to those who lived at Kibbutz Nir Oz on October 7th. Nir Oz was devastated on October 7th. We met with Gal Goren, a 22 year old boy, who lived at Nir Oz. On October 7th he was away from home on a retreat. His family was at home in Nir Oz. On that Sunday he learned that his parents were missing. Were they alive? Were they dead? Were they hostages? 18 days later, his father’s body was found in the fields. It took 18 days to find his father’s body while it was simply in the fields. In July 2024, 9 months after he last spoke to his mother and she was last seen, her body was recovered in Gaza. She had been wounded on October 7th severely and only survived a few hours yet it took 9 months to get her body returned and closure for her family. As we sat on the couch in Gal’s home, listening to him tell his story, looking at pictures of his parents in the room, I realized that his parents were probably close to my age. I later looked it up and they were both 56. Maya Goren (z’l) and Avner Goren (z’l) were simply parents of 4 children. They were living their lives, no differently than me living my life. Until terrorists showed up. They are gone. Their children have no parents alive. I could see the pain in Gal’s eyes. I could hear it in his voice. I can’t imagine what his younger sister is going through. His two older brothers are in the IDF, the organization that failed them. In Nir Oz, there was not a single IDF bullet fired. By the time the IDF got to Nir Oz, the terrorists were completely gone. It took them 8 1/2 hours to arrive. Hundreds of terrorists against five people with guns. Somehow the five people lasted over two hours before the last was killed.
Gal’s parents, Avner (z’l) and Maya (z’l) from Gal’s living room.
How do you deal with an epic failure of intelligence and security? As a country that prides herself on safety and security, on the IDF being a badass army, how do you reconcile that it took them 8 1/2 hours to arrive. 117 of the 400 people on the kibbutz were murdered or kidnapped and taken hostage. It’s an incredibly indictment of the IDF yet it is the IDF that is required to keep Israel safe. Two of Gal’s brother are fighting for an organization that didn’t save their parents. Gal went back into the army to be an IDF educator. After having their parents murdered and the IDF not showing up for 8 1/2 hours to Kibbutz Nir Oz, Gal and his two brothers went back to the IDF to play their role. I can’t imagine what that must be like. Around every turn is the failure that resulted in the dealth of your parents and yet you double down, invest, and give of yourself to the army.
During the four days I spent with my client, we explored the experience of the evacuees deeply. Nir Oz. Kiryat Shemona. Kibbutz Reim. A school just for evacuee children in Kibbutz Ravid. More than 11 months after the attack, these communities remain evacuated and remain living in temporary places. Some in hotels. Some took over entire buildings. Some are scattered around and nobody is sure if the community will return. It is not just the number of internal evacuees due to the war who have been displaced. Those used to living on a Kibbutz with lots of land and freedom are now cramped into a hotel room or a small apartment. Their entire life has been turned upside down and for some there is no timetable for their return. I experienced a little of this on my last trip with the people of the town of Shlomi living in our hotel. It was shocking to see then. To see the meta perspective of so many communities still living like this was troubling to say the least.
The front door to the apartment building where the Nir Oz community now lives in Kiryat Gat. Never forget the hostages.
The world pays attention to the people in Gaza, terrorized by Hamas, used as human shields by Hamas, refused by Egypt and without any pressur on Egypt from the United States to be me let into Sinai to live, where there would be no reason for military attacks. Yet the world is silent about the Israeli internal refugees, some who will no be able to move back to their home communities for many years. Some who will never move back to their home communities. The Jews remain the world’s pariah. In a world that frowns upon hatred and bigotry against any minority community, the only one that it remains acceptable and encouraged to hate are the Jews.
We heard from a lot of people about both what they experienced on October 7th and what they began to do on October 8th. Carmi told us about taking her 7 month old daughter into their safe room while her partner was up north celebrating his birthday that weekend. I can’t imagine being in a safe room for nearly 30 hours with a 7 month old and limited bottles, diapers, and entertainment, all while trying to shield them from the sounds of the rockets and the fear of terrorists entering your building and attacking you. I can’t imagine the horror of knowing your family was at risk and getting no update, and then when you get the update it is that they have been taken captive by Hamas and are hostages in Gaza. Zohar told us about his sister-in-law and niece, taken into Gaza where they spent 50 days as hostages. The fears of his brother and himself. The non-stop fight to get not only them returned but all the hostages returned. As we spent time at the Hostage Family Forum, hearing Zohar’s story, it was painful. Hearing his anger at the government was powerful and understandable. He summed up my thoughts on our leadership, which I have written extensively about, when he said, “We don’t have leaders. We just have government.”
As we walked through the Hostage Family Forum building, I felt the sadness. I felt the depression and anxiety. The effort to do anyting to make a difference. To push the government to get them home. To actually lead. Somebody has referenced this building as the saddest place in Israel and I believe that to be true. The posters of hostages on the wall where their age was crossed out and updated by a year. In a few weeks, they will all have celebrated a birthday in captivity.
There are Americans who are still hostages yet our government remains largely silent. There is no pressure on Hamas, Qatar, or Iran to have them released. If America won’t force the return of our hostages, who is going to put the pressure on diplomatically? The only choices are surrender to the wishes of Hamas or military action. Neither are good options. So we sit. They protest. I write. They cry. The hostages get a day older and a day closer to death. Shame on us. We like to think we are better than that yet the proof is there that we are not.
We went to hostage square. I was there in May and the sadness envelopes you. The mock tunnel is powerful. Walking through it is depressing and I always think of what I was told in May that released hostages said after going through the mock tunnel, “I only wish they were that big.” I bought some Israeli flags with the yellow ribbon through them. I have my ‘NOW’ hat. While up to now I have struggled with what happened on October 7th and how that has changed me, now I find myself thinking about what happened AFTER October 7th and that is changing me. We must do better. We must get leaders not government. It is up to us to BE THE CHANGE. I look at people who were seen as changemakers, people who spoke up and spoke out about other causes and how today they ignore what happened on October 7th and ignore Hamas and Iran. How they simply engage in Jew hatred. Greta Thornburg has become a racist and bigot, spewing Jew hatred. What a shame. Leaders of the UN show they are merely power hungry Jew haters with their statements and the resolutions. Is this the world we want to live in? Is this the behavior we want to encourage? It never ends with the Jews. We are merely the first. Are you ready to be the second? The third? Because you will be.
October 7th didn’t just affect the Jews. On this trip we spent time in the arab village of Ein Mahil. My client works with all Israelis. Jews. Arabs. Druze. Christians. It’s about people and children. They work with the children of Majdal Shams, the Druze village where Hezbollah murdered 12 children playing soccer by bombing them while they played. Hundreds were wounded. I wanted to go visit but it was deemed not safe. It made me sad. Tzfat was not safe to go visit. Most of the north is not safe. We went to Akko, we went to towns around the Kinneret (Sea of Galilee) but we could not see anything further north. There were two mornings where rockets were fired in our general vicinity. We did not get alerts but they did 10-15 minutes away. I made sure to text my family that everything was ok, not wanting to alarm them but also not wanting them to worry.
Ein Mahil was a great place to visit. The youth center there is part of the Israeli Zionist youth movement, HaNoar HaOved (NOAL), that I am working with. Yes, you read that correctly. The arab village, just like the Druze village of Majdal Shams, are places where there are Israeli Zionist youth groups where arab and druze children are members. There are 55 arab villages that have this youth group. You read that correctly. 55 ARAB VILLAGES HAVE A ZIONIST YOUTH GROUP THAT ARAB CHILDREN PARTICIPATE WITH AND LOVE. More than 20,000 Arab children are participants in this Zionist youth group. We got to hear from leaders of the Ein Mahil branch. They grew up in the movement. They are Israeli, Arab, and not only participated in a Zionist youth movement but are now leaders of a Zionist youth movement in their Arab Village!! Abu Hani, the Mayor of Ein Mahil came to speak with us. His daughters were in the Zionist Youth movement. Yes, he is also Arab. The children were having so much fun. I enjoyed getting to walk around and talk with them. By talking I mean mostly hand motions as they spoke Arabic and I don’t. I’ll never forget this one little girl, Yasmina. When I saw her name on her project and called her by name, the smile on her face was precious. When we went to take the picture, I made sure that this shy little girl joined us. She smiled when I called her by name and waved her over. Who says you can’t communicate with kindess and love instead of words.
In Ein Mahel with the kids and the Arab members of NOAL, an Israeli Zionist Youth group, along with the staff.
Gazel, the head of the branch, spoke to us. She only spoke Arabic so it was translated. Lina, who learned English from watching Friends and How I Met Your Mother on TV spoke with us. Yousef, who was an early participant in the movement in 1995 (the movement began in Ein Mahil in 1989!) spoke to us. Shadi, another leader in the movement, told us about how he began in 4th grade and now his children participate. Shadi told us what October 7th was for him. It was something I never considered. How did October 7th impact Israeli Arabs? He was out with his son, getting haircuts. After hearing what happened, they got in the car and raced home. He said he drove like a maniac. He didn’t know who was going to want to kill him. Would it be Hamas because he was an Israeli Arab? Would it be Arabs who think he is a traitor because he was in an Zionist youth group and now is a leader of the movement for Arab children? Would it be Jews who see him as an Arab and think he is a terrorist? I can’t imagine the fear he and others faced, thinking every person they encounter could be an enemy and wanting them dead, all because they live in Israel, are Israeli citizens, and get along with Jews. Shadi told us his Jewish friends from other villages were calling to check on him. They understood what was happening to Israeli Arabs. Calls that Israel is an apartheid state simply miss the facts. Every one of those people needs to visit Ein Mahil. Majdal Shams. Or any of the 55 Arab villages with a Zionist youth group thriving. The 12 Druze Villages (almost all of the Druze Villages) that have a Zionist youth group thriving.
Gazel, Yousef, me, Gary, Shadi, Marc, Michael, and Lina. New friends in Ein Mahel that I can’t wait to see again.
The effects of October 7th and more importantly, the effects of what has happened since October 7th, will not only change Israel forever, it is changing our world. I felt the impact of hate like I never have before. October 7th was an explosion of hatred that was overwhelming. What has happened in the 11+ months since then is an ongoing hatred, ongoing pain and suffering, ongoing bigotry and racism. Ongoing terror. For many of us, today is not September 20, 2024. It is still October 7, 2023. Until the hostages are returned, until Hamas, Hezbollah, and Iran are defeated, until the refugees from the north and south of Israel can return to their homes and rebuild, and until the people of Gaza can live safely, in peace, with their neighbor Israel, it will always be October 7th. As Zohar so powerfully stated, we need leaders, not government. Where will they come from? How do we get there?
There is much more from this trip to process. More I will write about. For now, I have added the pain of everything after October 7th to the pain of what happened on October 7th.
Today is my younger son Matthew’s 22nd birthday. I get home in time to celebrate it. While I treasure the time celebrating his birthday with him, I will be thinking of Gal, who because of hatred, because of bigotry, because of Hamas and Iran, didn’t get to celebrate his 22nd birthday with his parents and will never get to celebrate another of his birthday’s with his parents. Gratitude for what I get and sadness for what he lost.
Last night I fulfilled a bucket list item. Most people know that a bucket list is a list of things you want to experience before you ‘kick the bucket’ and leave this world. Seeing a show a Red Rocks in Colorado was on my bucket list. But not just seeing any show. I wanted to see an artist who enhanced the beautiful venue and where the venue enhanced the artist. When I saw that Carlos Santana was playing Red Rocks, I knew this was the one.
Red Rocks is outside Denver. It’s a beautiful natural theater set in a park in the mountains. As you drive in, you are captivated by the beauty all around you. Instantly, you are transformed to a magical and special place. The beauty is awe inspiring. It immediately brought me to the desert in Israel which is also captivating. The view of Masada and when on top of Masada, the view of the Dead Sea and all around you.
Red Rocks Park
We drove up the winding hills to get to the upper level parking lot and I was thinking about the drive to Tzfat and how the bus driver is always a magician with the roads and the twists and then finally parking so we can get off the bus. The old parking area where he would back up until it felt the bus was going to fall off the cliff.
We parked and began the walk to get to the venue. Once again I was transformed to Masada. Either the snake path or the Roman path has the preliminary entrance that gets you excited about what’s ahead and sometimes even a little intimidated about the climb (especially the snake path)
Making the climb up to Red Rocks Arena. What a beautiful start to the climb
We got to the area and found our seats. Wow! What a venue. As you looked around it was spectacular. There was music playing, the buzz and energy from the crowd was electric and I knew that this was going to be something special. I have many friends that have seen shows here and they all rave about the venue and how special it is. I was about to experience it and couldn’t believe it. My wife, Alison, could sense my excitement and her energy level was high as well.
The Counting Crows took the stage. I loved their music in the early 90s and had forgotten about it. As they began the play, it was still daylight and we sang and danced. You could see the people in the crowd and on the stage. It felt like a festival.
We were entranced by the acoustics, the way you could feel the music fill your soul and your body because of the venue. We danced. We sang. We were free. It was exhilerating. The sun was setting and it was changing the vibe in the venue. As we were enjoying ourselves, the people next to us leaned over and asked, “Are you from Israel?” It seemed to be a strange question in the middle of Colorado while the Counting Crows were playing, but I answered them, “No, but I just got back. Why do you ask?” They had seen my tattoos on my forearms, one saying ‘We will dance again’ and the other to remember the Nova Music festival. They were from Israel and seeing me with my tattoos, my Magen David, and my dogtags to remember the hostages and the Nova festival was very meaningful for them.
Instantly, everything transformed for me. Having been to the Nova site twice this summer, I was suddenly transformed to an American version of Nova. The people in the theater were the people at the Nova festival. The music we were enjoying and letting go listening to was the music that they were dancing to and enjoying on October 7th. Red Rocks was the desert near Gaza. As I looked out beyond the stage, the views reminded me of the views from the lower Galil just a few weeks ago as we prepared for Shabbat.
Red Rocks views that resemble the Lower Galilee in Israel
I could imagine fireworks in the air above me, what the Nova concert goers thought the rocket attacks on October 7th were. I could imagine people on hangliders flying in over the mountains to attack. I could picture terrorists coming from the bottom by the stage and from the top and sides of the venue, trapping us with nowhere to go. No chance of survival. Red Rocks had become Nova and the bomb shelters around Nova.
It was a chilling feeling and hard to let go of. Part of me knew I would never let go of it. October 7th and what I had seen at Nova and Kibbutz Kfar Aza along with in the Hamas 47 minute video are burned into my soul, into my being. I also knew that I had to let it go. As Mia Schem said, and then had tattooed on her arm after being released from being a hostage by Hamas, “We will dance again'” means we must continue to live. We cannot be consumed by the past although we can never forget it. It is why I got it on my forearm. To remember both what happened and that we must live. So I refocused. Took in the beauty around us. As the Counting Crows finished and darkness took over the arena, I looked around and found the beauty again.
Red Rocks looking up from row 25 to the back. Spectacular.
Santana took the stage and the show was more incredible than I expected. He is a musical genius, his sound unique and piercing the venue, the acoustics bouncing it all around and through us. We sang. We danced, we were overwhelmed by the experience. I said to Alison many times through the show how incredible the music was both in my ears and through my body. If you have never had that experience, it is indescribable. It took over my entire being.
I love this song and it fills my soul – last night at Red Rocks it filled my body as well
Yet throughout the concert, I kept looking to the sides and above me, just in case there were terrorists hangliding into the arena or ambushing us from the front, back, and the sides. It was surreal, almost like being in a movie waiting for the bad guys to take over the innocent civilians and then hoping the good guys would get there in time. Knowing the isolation of Red Rocks, I wasn’t secure that they would. I could channel the fear of the festival attendees waiting for the IDF to show up and rescue them and not having them come in time.
This is the reality of the post October 7th world. We have seen evil up close in a way we never have before. The way that Hamas live streamed and recorded their murders, rapes and kidnappings has never happened before. The way it touched and impacted the entire Jewish community is transformative. As a little kid, I remember watching the TV mini-series “Holocaust” and being worried about taking a shower for a day or two, wondering if it would be a shower or gas. But that was a TV show. I knew that wasn’t real. I knew that it happened 30 years prior but that those were actors I was watching. What we saw on October 7th was real. They were not actors. I have met their families. I have seen the devastation with my own eyes, touched it with my own hands, felt it deep within my own heart.
Carlos Santana said twice last night that, “It takes courage to be happy” and he is correct. Mia Schem reminded us of that when she said, “We will dance again” and got her tattoo. I have mine to always remember that. October 7th was a defining moment in both Jewish life and in the history of the world. We saw pure evil face to face. How we choose to handle it yet to be determined. The fate of not just the Jewish people but the entire world depends on it.
Santana playing The Name of Love, a great song and reminding us about love, not hate.
I can’t wait to return to Red Rocks to see another concert. Alison and I both said the same things as we walked out of the venue, ‘we need to come back’. There is something spiritual and holy about this site. Just like there is somethign spiritual and holy about the Nova site and Kfar Aza for me. Red Rocks and Nova will always be linked for me. My vow is that it is also about the future beauty of music and love and community. I won’t let the evil of October 7th ruin the future. Last night I felt like the soul of every person murdered on October 7th was there with me, celebrating the music of Carlos Santana and dancing with me.
The last day of our trip was a powerful one on many levels. The amazing thing is that we only went three places and one of them was the restaurant for lunch!
We left about 30 minutes late which frustrated our staff. It ended up being perfect. Our first stop was at Shura Army base, a forensic center near Ramle where most of the victims from October 7th were brought to be identified. As we got there, they were loading the body of one of the IDF soldiers who was killed on Saturday in Gaza into the van to take him home to be buried. We go to watch them put him into the van, one of our group who was saying Kaddish for his mother said Kaddish, and we then escorted him out of the parking lot on his final journey. It was incredibly powerful and moving. To be able to do that type of honor for a soldier killed defending Israel and the Jewish people was overwhelming. These kids, and they are kids, put their lives at risk every day to protect Israel and the Jewish people. In America when I see a soldier, I always thank them for their service. In Israel, I want to begin doing that as well. It’s the very least I can do.
We met Noa, the woman who works to prepare the bodies for burial and for identification. Noa told us that she has 8 children and on October 7th, 7 of them, plus her husband and herself were drafted into the army. Think about what that must be like. It was yet another reminder that the Israeli people do not want this war. They do not want this war to go on indefinitely. They want the hostages returned. They want Hamas out of power and not able to kill Israelis any longer. They want peace and quiet on the border. They want to go back to living thir lives. They don’t want to worry about their children or their spouses in firefights. They want normalcy and that only comes with the return of the hostages and Hamas removed. They will deal with the emotions and fear to accomplish those goals. But it’s not what they want to do, despite what the media may tell you.
Noa speaking to us
We entered the base and came to the meeting room where we learned what they do here. After October 7th, this is where most of the bodies came for identification. They have a lab on the second floor to do DNA testing. They have DNA, dental records as well as fingerprint records for every IDF soldier . It made some of the identification easier but many of the bodies were burned or were just ashes. As we entered the actual area where they did this work, we were silent as the gravity of the work settled in each of us.
The meeting room in the base before you enter. Notice the pictures on the wall are all faces of those murdered on October 7.
In the room where they do the ritual preparation of the bodies, we heard what it was like after October 7th. I’m not sure that i can even try to describe what she was telling us. The condition of the bodies that came in. Some of the challenges identifying them. Some that were just ashes or parts of bodies. And the blood. That is the one thing that I will never forget. Her description of how much blood there was and they had to deal with. She told us about a Hassidic man who came in with bodies. He had been pulling dead bodies out of bomb shelters that Hamas attacked at Nova. He had blood halfway up his calf because to pull them out he had to step in pools of blood. The more stories she told us, the more horrified we were. Then she said something that has me thinking. She said that she can’t focus on how awful it was and what happened. Instead, she chooses to focus on the good in her life and what she can do to make the world better. She wants to cook a better dinner for her family. Be a better mother for her children. Be a better wife for her husband. Be a better friend, neighbor, and boss. It’s an incredible way to look at the world and an incredible attitude. It made me thing about what I am willing to do to deal with the anger and rage from Kfar Aza, Nova, and being at this base. Am I going to let the anger and rage consume me or am I going to turn it into something to make the world a better place. If Noa can do it after what she has seen, I know that I can as well.
We left the room and moved to the room where families have their chance to say their last goodbyes to their loved ones. It was hard sitting in that room, looking at the table where the body would be, knowing what families must be feeling and experiencing when their loved one is on that table. We were all quiet as we sat in the room and Noa talked to us. I think we were all grateful to have been in the room but even more grateful to leave it.
Listening to Noa talk about what she and her team have gone through since October 7th makes me think about all the people we normally don’t think about. They aren’t family members of those murdered or kidnapped. They haven’t lost family members who are serving in the IDF. Yet they are traumatized by what happened on October 7th and what has happened since October 7th. What is it like to have 7 of your 8 children drafted into the army to fight a war? What is it like to have both you and your spouse drafted into the army during a war, potentially leaving your chidren as orphans? What is it like to deal with that many dead bodies? With that many mutilated people? With remains that are just ashes? The entire country is dealing with PTSD and I’m not sure what it will mean long term.
Our last stop on the base was to visit the place where all the IDF Torahs that need repair or can’t be repaired are kept. It was incredible seeing how many Torahs they have there. As the Rabbi who is in charge told us, it’s the largest Aaron Kodesh (ark) in the world. He also told me that the IDF needs thousands of mezuzahs for their soldiers. They need them for the rooms where soldiers sleep in bases, outposts and bunkers both within Israel, along the borders (south and north) and in Judea and Samaria. They also need a few dozen at this point for buildings inside Gaza seized and used for headquartersWhen you watch this video I took, you will be amazed at what you see.
The IDF torahs in need of repair or that can’t be repairedThe sofer (scribe) repairing a Torah
As we left the base, we were all shaken by the experience. Like at Kfar Aza and Nova, we felt the death. We felt the overwhelming loss related to the murder of 1200 people on October 7th. As I think about how Israel has changed since October 7th, these feelings are a part of it. If I am feeling it after only 8 days, how powerful must it be for Israelis who have been feeling it for over 7 months?
We headed to our last stop of the trip, the Palmachim air force base. This is where they fly drones from. The base is highly secure, no pictures were allowed, and things were off the record. What I can tell you is that I was blown away by what we learned. I can tell you that the process Israel uses to actually have a drone drop a bomb is multi-leveled and requires multiple approvals. And I can tell you that the drone operator ALWAYS has the authority to abort the mission no matter what the supervisor says if they determine that there are civilians, women or children in the area and that it would not be appropriate to execute the mission. I can also tell you that this happens more often than you would expect. The drone operators are kids. Their support staff are 18-19 year olds. It’s always amazing to look at who comprises the Israeli military. It’s largely the 18-22 year old population. This is very different from the US military and not what most people think of when they think of an army. These are kids who are willing to do whatever is needed to defend their country and the Jewish people but really want to finish their service, travel, and then go to college and live their lives.
After the briefing, we had our final barbecue with the soliders on the base. These 18-25 year old men and women were so happy to have us there. We sat with them, talked, and got to know them. The DJ played great music, the food was good, and we had fun. After we ate, the DJ really got things moving and we got up and started dancing. The soldiers joined us as we danced and laughed and had a great time. As it got to be time for us to leave to take people to the airport, they had difficulty getting us to stop. We finally did, celebrating with the soldiers. Some of the guys on our trip were from Emek, a Jewish Day School in Los Angeles. They had some of their students write letters to the soldiers. The day after our visit, we got this note from the wife of one of the soldiers on the base. If you ever wonder if the letters you write, the visits you take to Israel, the support you provide really matter, I think this note proves how much they really do.
It was sad as some of the guys headed for Tel Aviv and then we dropped a bunch at Ben Gurion airport. The rest of us returned to Jerusalem and a few of us made plans for the next day. The trip was over but the experience will last a lifetime. There is so much for me to unpack from this trip. So much to understand about what it means to me to be a man, a husband, a father, and a Jew. What does it really mean to be a Zionist? what am I willing to die for that shows what I actually live for? Much much more. As I unpack it, I will share them.
I still have 2 days in Israel, two precious days in Israel. Two days to wake up in Jerusalem, smell the air, walk the streets. What a blessing that is. A day in Tel Aviv with meetings. Time to see friends. Israel is truly in my heart and in my soul. As my 21st trip approaches the end, I am already looking at possible trips 22, 23, 24, and 25 in the next year. I appreciate how lucky I am to get to go to Israel. How lucky I am to have the contacts and connections in Israel that I have. The Israeli friends that I have. An understand of the land, the history, the challenges, the struggles, and just how much it means to me as a Jew. If you haven’t been to Israel, I urge you to come, especially now. If you have been to Israel, I urge you to come back. I promise you will experience a different country and a have a different experience.
Today we went to Hostage Square and heard from the fathers of two hostages and the aunt of another. The videos say more than I can ever say. Watch, listen, and feel.
The replica Hamas Terror Tunnel at Hostage Square. It was tough to walk through. I can’t imagine being forced to live there for over 200 days already.
The father of one of the hostages
The father of another hostage
The aunt of Hersch Goldberg-Polin spoke to us
I hope you watch all the videos. They are incredibly powerful and moving. My heart broke listening to the fathers speak. Yours will too
Yom Ha’atzmaut continued today in such a subdued manner it was shocking. It was easy to forget that it was still Independence Day as so much was different than previous years. I am used to the beach being packed, barbecues happening, an undercurrent of joy, the planes flying over the beach in formation, and so much more. Last night, the port was empty as we went for dinner. In a normal year, it would have been packed with people, music, fireworks, and celebration. This year is different.
My friend, Dr. Debi Gilboa (also known as Dr. G) spoke to use this morning about courage and resilience. Debi is a wonderful person, doctor, friend, and speaker and today was no different. There were three things she talked about that really resonated for me.
Dr G, my friend Debi Gilboa, and me.
The first was about how in 1908, sixty-six (66) families left Jaffa and moved to Tel Aviv to create something. There was nothing there. I have seen the pictures at Independence Hall in Tel Aviv or what it looked line then. Huge sand dunes. That’s it. These pioneers and their families took and incredible risk moving to the middle of nowhere, on a sandy beach, with no drinking water, no housing in place, and no farming for food that was growing. Why would they do this? What could be their rationale?
The pioneers that created Tel Aviv in 1908. They had courage.
By moving to Tel Aviv, they had a chance at self-determination. They had a change to take control of their own destiny. They could build a city where they were in charge and could live the way they wanted to live, as Jews. I’m sure every one of them was scared and felt unsure at times. Yet they did it anywhere. The fear of where they were coming from along with the opportunity that presented itself was enough to help them fight through their fear to build the city of Tel Aviv.
The second was about courage. Courage is not feeling fear or being afraid. Courage is feeling fear and being afraid and getting through it anyway. The 66 families that started Tel Aviv in 1908 felt plenty of fear, yet they would not let that fear stop them from following through and building the city of Tel Aviv. We heard from and met people from Kibbutz Alumim today. The Kibbutz is 3 km from Gaza and was attacked on October 7. It is the only kibbutz that was attacked on October 7th, the terrorists got into the kibbutz, but did not get into the houses. Those on the kibbutz who hid in their safe rooms with their families and those who defended it were scared but they fought through the fear to survive. Courage looks different but always involves facing your fears and finding a way through them.
The third topic that resonated strongly with me was when she talked about how God told Abraham and Sarah, “Lech Lecha”. Translated this means ‘Go to yourself.” This is when they left where they were living, left Abraham’s father’s house, and followed God’s directions. Debi shared with us that it also means for each of us to be true to ourselves. That we must take care of ourselves. After October 7, Israelis are doing what they have to do to take care of themselves. It’s emotionally difficult and requires courage to do this. In the diaspora, we are struggling with this. How do we take care of ourselves in a world filled with rising antisemitism? How do we take care of ourselves when we see the hate on college campuses? How do we take care of ourselves when we see physical violence occurring just because somebody is Jewish? When Jewish speakers and events are cancelled because the venue ‘can’t ensure security’? During the day today, this became a topic of many conversations I had. The consensus seemed to be that we need to invest more in what being Jewish means to us. Each of us individually has the opportunity to ask that question of ourselves and our families. What does being Jewish mean to me? How do I express being Jewish in a meaningful way to me? Are there things I might want to do or that I like to do that I am not? If so, what are they. If not, maybe I want to explore what they could be. I have found myself doing this over the past few years and coming up with my own answers for me. I have found that I enjoy learning more about what being Jewish entails by spending time each week talking and learning some Torah with a Rabbi and how it applies to my life today. Can the lesson change my behavior and how I feel about things? Each week I learn a little bit more. I am not more religious. But I do feel more Jewish.
Debi’s talk, similar to when I am learning lessons from the Torah with my Rabbi, made me think a little deeper about issues. I have more to chew on and more questions to ask myself. Being on this trip, I have brothers to talk with and delve deeper together. That’s also part of being Jewish – having a community to be a part of so life is not lived alone.
We spent time at the Peres Center for Innovation and Peace. I’ve been there before and it is an amazing place, created by Shimon Peres, with an intentional incredible view of the Mediterranean Sea to inspire peacefulness. The main floor is an exhibition space and when I walked in, I was struck by the exhibit from October 7th that was there. It was truly unbelievable. There was a huge screen with a video documenting the events. There was a photo exhibit that was captivating. I videoed part of the video screen and noticed that the reflection of our group watching it was also seen in the recording. I thought that was appropriate as we are all a part of October 7 just like it is a part of us.
The video presentation at the Peres Center for Peace
I came out of the Peres Center with three takeaways this time. First, Israel has always been about peace. The Declaration of Independence explicitly offers peace and a welcome to the Arabs to join the new country. It was the Arabs that rejected that peace and went to war. Since 1948, Israel has offered peace many times and until the Abraham Accords only found peace partners with Egypt and Jordan. Neither is a warm peace, but both have held. Despite the media wanting to say that Israel is the problem, the colonizer, the oppressor, Israel’s actions since 1948 have shown them to be a willing partner for peace with whoever wants to engage with them about peace. When the war with Hamas in Gaza ends, and it will end, it is highly likely that the peace and normalization with both Saudi Arabia and Indonesia will be finalized. More and more Arab nations are coming to realize that they are better off being peaceful and partners with Israel than trying to eliminate them. That is both the narrative we need to be using and the future for the region.
Secondly, there was moment in the video about Shimon Peres where he says that he didn’t feel like he was really the Prime Minister until he “sat in the Old Man’s chair”. The Old Man is David Ben Gurion and it made me think about leadership. Israel has had some incredible leaders. Ben Gurion, Shimon Peres, Moshe Dayan, Yitzhak Rabin, Menachem Begin, Golda Meir, Ariel Sharon, Chaim Weizmann, Ze’ev Jabotinsky, Yigal Allon, Abba Eban, Levi Eshkol, Yitzhak Shamir, Yigael Yadin, and Ezer Weizman are like Israel’s version of our American Founding Fathers, only I remember almost of all them in my lifetime. Israel is a young country and with the loss of these key leaders, the question remains who is going to step up. There is no question that the current situation both in Israel and in the world is a result of leadership challenges. I found myself wondering who would be the next wave of leaders that will step up, both in Israel and the United States, to take us to the next level. Israel turned 76 this week. When the US was 76, it was 1852. We were 8 years away from Abraham Lincoln and his leadership. The US was about to enter a civil war. It was leadership that got us through those challenging times. Who will be both Israel and the United State’s Abraham Lincoln for this time period? Without that leadership, I fear for the future of the world.
The third takeaway was when Peres was summing up his own life near the end. He said, “I didn’t dream big enough” and he urged everybody to dream bigger. In today’s world, I think we need to listen to him and dream bigger. We need to think beyond what is possible and think what would be ideal. Then we work towards accomplishing the ideal. We may not reach ideal, but we will be far better off than if we just try to accomplish what is possible. It reminds me of the saying, “Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will be among the stars.”
One of the highlights of the day was our visit to The Squadron, a flight simulator created by a high-ranking commander in the Israeli air force. The commander gave us a very high level briefing which was incredible. The pattern of three take-aways continued from his talk.
The Squadron let us wear flight uniforms and do the simulator. I always wanted to be Top Gun
When talking about October 7, he said that the country was already in a weakened position because of the civil unrest that was going on before then. The protests of the government policies and attempts to change key laws, the status of the Prime Minister and his legal issues, and the split in the country. It sounded far too familiar to what we are dealing with in the United States. He said to us, “When the body is weakened, the germs can get in and attack”. This is what happened on October 7. This is what we are seeing set up in the United States today. I found myself asking myself how far away are we in the US from our own version of October 7? Would it come from the far right? From the far left? From a terror attack funded by Iran? Are we getting ready for another 9/11 but on a much larger scale? Will we learn from Israel or continue to stick our heads in the sand?
He also said that he believes there will be no peace for at least 100 years because we have lost the youth. It made me think of the exodus from Egypt and how we had to wander for 40 years for the generations of slaves to die so that a new generation that didn’t know slavery could rise. Do we need to wait until the generations who have grown up with hate die off so we can have a new generation that doesn’t know hate rise? I hope we don’t need to wait 100 years or more. I hope we can make changes in our world now that shorter that time. The one thing that I do believe is that the instant gratification expectations of the US and Europe are not realistic and that this will take time. Can we shorten the 100 years to a decade? 2 decades? I don’t know but perhaps it is time that we change our expectations and begin the hard work to get there instead of hoping and praying that it will happen in 2024 or 2025.
The final takeaway was when he said that the only thing that will get us out of this is leadership. I agree with that 100%. As I wrote above and have written before, we have a serious lack of leadership in the world and in our Jewish communities. It is time to invest in leadership. We need to make hard choices and difficult decisions. We need to change the paradigm that we currently live in where leaders are determined by money. Our leaders need to lead, unafraid of the personal consequences because they are doing what is needed for the community, the nation, and the world. We need the courage Debi talked about. We need to dream bigger like Shimon Peres said. We need to allow the great leaders to rise and truly lead.
We then got to try their fight simulator. These were F-16 simulations and it was truly amazing. It gave me great admiration for the air force pilots and made me want to practice more and more.
Keith taking off in the flight simulator
Our final stop for the day was to meet with the people from Kibbutz Alumim. They have been relocated from their kibbutz near Gaza to a hotel in Netanya since October 7. We heard from two people at the kibbutz. Sarit, a young mother, hid in her safe room for 26 hours with her husband and 2-year-old daughter. Sarit’s husband was able to grab a little schnitzel for their daughter and one diaper for her before they entered their safe room for 26 hours. That’s not much in terms of food and one spare diaper for 26 hours isn’t nearly enough. Her descriptions were intense and thankfully the terrorists didn’t get into any of the houses on this kibbutz.
Sarit talking to us
The reason they didn’t get into any of the houses on this kibbutz was because of people like Eyal, the second speaker. This kibbutz had 15 members of their defense force that were trained and had access to guns in their armory to protect the kibbutz. Facing 150 or more terrorists invading the kibbutz, these 15 people fought them off. They ended up getting help from the IDF with a helicopter coming and helping shoot at the terrorists, killing many and driving them away after a full day of battle. Eyal ended up getting shot 4 times. Once on the side of his face, once in his back, once in his side, and once through his lung and out his scapula. He was rushed to the hospital where he was able to recover. The story of bravery on this kibbutz was not remarkable compared to the stories I have heard on other kibbutzim. What I took from it was the importance of being prepared and trained. Nobody wants to think that we have to be prepared to protect ourselves, but the reality is that we do. We can hope that we never have to use the training and that the practice is just that, but we need to be prepared. Whether it is in Israel or in the United States, a failure to prepare is preparing to fail. We no longer can afford that luxury.
Eyal talking to us
Outside the hotel, near the school they had created for their children, we had a huge barbecue and got to celebrate life with the members of the kibbutz. There was nothing like seeing the children fully engaged in life. Just as my grandparents used to say that looking at us, their grandchildren, was the proof that Hitler had lost, watching these children play and live life was proof that Hamas failed. Those who hate us failed. We survived once again and we will thrive again. Some of the little kids gave us gifts of vegetables from the kibbutz and seeing them warmed my heart. Then a few of the young boys came over to dance with us and that was the highlight of the day. It warmed my heart. We danced. We sang. We smiled. We laughed. We lived. I made sure to get a picture with them to remind myself that no matter what, we choose to live. And we choose to live freely as Jews. Authentic to ourselves.
The boys from the Kibbutz who came to dance with us
Dancing with the kids from the Kibbutz – it made the entire day.
Kids from the Kibbutz giving us gifts of vegetables from their Kibbutz. They were so adorable.
How can you not smile watching this toddler on his tricycle. 7 months ago he was hiding in a safe room as his parents hoped they wouldn’t be butchered by Hamas terrorists
I knew when I got on the plane to come this time that part of why I was coming was because October 7 and what has followed has ripped a hole in my soul. Watching the children, dancing with them and seeing them choosing life has begun to repair that hole. We need to listen to Dr. G and be courageous. We need to hear Shimon Peres and dream bigger. We need to pay attention to the lessons from the air force commander and demand real leadership and invest in leadership development. And most of all, we need to live authentically and with joy. Life is too short and too important to waste.
Kids at the barbecue back to life after the terror of October 7th. We must live life to the fullest.
Ever since October 7th, I have wanted to go back to Israel. I was supposed to go in November 2023, but the trip was cancelled, and my family was uncomfortable with me going to volunteer. Every day I would struggle with the deep desire to be in my homeland, doing my part to help. Serving in the IDF is not an option at my age and without any military background. But I can cook, clean, pick fruits and vegetables, and do whatever is needed. The needs of my family for me not to go overrode my need and desire to go. It has not been easy or comfortable, being in the US and my heart and soul in Israel.
This changes on Saturday night when my flight departs for Israel. I have the opportunity to go both for my own needs and for work related business. It is getting me there which is what I need. To be with my Israeli friends who have been serving in the IDF. To visit the kibbutzim that were attacked on October 7th, go back to Sderot, also attacked. To pay tribute at the Nova music festival site. To spend time in Hostage square in Tel Aviv.
There is a saying that ‘Leaders lead’. You take risks. You do the right thing regardless of the consequences. For me, going to Israel right now falls into that category. As a Jew, as a proud Zionist, it is my obligation to be there, to be part of my homeland, to give back, and to support my Israeli brothers and sisters. Too many leaders in our world are so afraid of the backlash of doing the right thing that they do nothing. As a result, they are merely a leader in name.
We saw that today when President Biden said, “if they go into Rafah, I’m not supplying the weapons that have been used historically to deal with Rafah, to deal with the cities — that deal with that problem.” Going into Rafah is a necessity to both rescue hostages and defeat Hamas.
This came a day after he said, “My commitment to the safety of the Jewish people, the security of Israel, and its right to exist as an independent Jewish people and Israel is ironclad, even when we disagree.”
Yesterday’s statement caused him potential electoral issues in Michigan and Minnesota and with the Progressive wing of his party. Rather than do what is right, supporting our ally, fighting against terrorism and evil, he backtracked and tried to play both sides. Yesterday he was against terrorism, hatred, and antisemitism. Today he was in favor of terrorism, hatred, and antisemitism. That’s not what leaders do.
This isn’t a partisan take. Representatives John Fetterman and Ritchie Torres are leaders. They have taken a position with our ally, in support of good over evil, against terrorism and hate. They haven’t forgotten the hostages and aren’t afraid to speak out, even when they take incredible criticism. Doing the right thing is more important than poll results.
Senator Fetterman’s office has posters of the hostages hanging on the walls
Senator Fetterman remains Pro-Israel, wants the hostages back, and is anti-Hamas and terror
We live in a world where our “leaders” are more concerned with being liked and tracking their approval ratings than actually leading. We see this in our Jewish community, in our local community, in our states and in the federal government. They aren’t trained properly. They aren’t mentored properly. Many don’t want it and think they know what it means and what it entails. Others want it but can’t find it. The vast majority of our leaders have not had anybody provide them with the guidance and instruction needed.
I often think back to the people who trained and mentored me. One was very hard on me. Very critical. I used to say that he was ‘crusty’ on the outside and ‘gooey’ on the inside. You had to deal with the crusty exterior to get to the gooey interior. He wouldn’t take excuses from me. He wouldn’t accept anything but excellence. He didn’t sugarcoat anything. He told it like it is and didn’t try to soften it up to save my feelings. He made me a better professional and a better person. He would often challenge me about my own personal desires. Did I want to be excellent, or did I want to be mediocre? If I wanted to be mediocre, then he didn’t have to spend time with me. If I wanted to be excellent then I had to do things differently. I learned tremendous lessons from him.
The other mentor I think about was much softer and nicer in his presentation. He explained things and sent the message in a kinder way. He also wouldn’t take excuses. He wouldn’t let me off the hook from doing things the right way. He challenged the way I thought and the reasons behind my thought process. He laid out his expectations if he was going to invest his time and if I wasn’t willing to do what we required to meet them, he would invest his time elsewhere. He shared his own personal experiences and what went right and where things went off the tracks. He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable about the times he wasn’t successful and what he learned from those times. He would listen as I would share the things I learned from my mistakes and share in the joy of my successes.
Throughout my career, I have leaned on these lessons. Both men made a significant impact on my life. They taught me about integrity, especially as a leader. They taught me that at the end of the day, I have to live with myself, my choices, and my actions. They taught me that it’s better to do the right thing and get negative consequences than to do the wrong thing and get positive recognition. I’ll always be grateful to them for their time and their investment in me.
It is something that I strive to do for others. Just in the last week, I have had former employees reach out to say hi, send me a picture of them together, check in on me, ask for help with career changes, to work on an exciting project together, to pick my brain as they prepare for job interviews, and to just say thank you. It is incredibly gratifying to know that I am paying it forward from what these two men did for me. I look at it as an obligation that I have to make the world better by helping train leaders. I have the privilege of working with a friend to do leadership training for college students through taking them to Israel. Together we are working on a young leadership training program in Israel for February 2025. If we want better leaders, we have to take action to develop them.
Leadership trip for 19-26 year olds. Highly subsidized. An amazing experience. Sign up now!
I also have the privilege of working as a mentor to a younger professional who reminds me a great deal of myself when I began working with my first mentor. I get a lot of gratitude helping him grow, helping him see things differently, challenging him to be excellent instead of mediocre, just as I was challenged. It’s incredibly rewarding as I watch him grow. Each time he ‘gets it’ and understands the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’, I get a lot of joy. I can only imagine that my mentors felt the same way when I finally ‘got it’.
We live in challenging times. We need our leaders more than ever and true leaders are in short supply. It brings me back to my trip to Israel. I want to show my children what it means to be a leader. What it means to do what you think is right despite the risks. I want them to understand how important it is to do what is right no matter what. They have seen me live my values throughout the years. Doing what was needed for my dad during the last few weeks of his life. Being there for my mom during that time and afterwards. Staying true to myself and my values, morals, and ethics in spite of situations with others that it would be easy to abandon them for personal gain. Being there in DC as one of the 300,000 people there for the big rally in support of Israel.
I can’t wait to go to Israel. It’s only a few days and it feels like an eternity. I will get to see my friend Grace. My friends Margot and Tamar and their children. My friends Yaron and Yoni who are volunteering and speaking to us. I plan on going to East Jerusalem and having a long coffee and conversation with my Palestinian friend Mahmoud. I hope to see my friend Noam who lives in Boston but as it happens in the Jewish world, will be in Israel for a few days when I am there. I’m having dinner with my friend Tamara and her kids. I’ll get the personal meaning that I need in Jerusalem, at the Nova site, at hostage square, and at the Kibbutzim in the south. I’ll give back by picking fruits and vegetables and having dinner with IDF soldiers to say thank you.
Paratroopers in the IDF running up Masada to finish their training. What a celebration. Something I will never forget. Incredible personal meaning for them and for those of us who joined their celebration.
I’ll lead by following my values, morals, and ethics. I’ll lead by taking the time to learn and grow. I’ll lead by spending time with friends from America on the trip, talking about our lives and the challenges we face along with the experience we are having. I’ll lead by writing about the experience and sharing it publicly to inspire others. And I’ll lead by showing my children not only what it means to be a leader but also how important it is to do it with grace. To stay true to your values, morals, and ethics. To do what’s right no matter what.
At the Passover Seder we end with “l’shana haba’ah b’yerushalayim, Next Year in Jerusalem”. I’ll end this blog by saying “Next Week in Jerusalem”.
6 months ago, I woke to a very different world. I didn’t know it when I awoke that morning. I made coffee, sat down to catch up on the news, and was horrified to hear about the attacks in Israel. I turned on the TV and the only channel covering it well was CNN. I don’t like watching most television news because of the bias, but on October 7, 2023, I didn’t have a choice. It appeared nobody else was covering it well. I was shocked at what I saw and how CNN covered it that day. They acted like a real news network rather than being in the entertainment business.
The horrors I saw on October 7th only got worse as I watched the 47-minute Hamas video, the documentary on the Nova music festival massacre, and heard from survivors on the attacks on Kibbutzim on October 7th and the Nova Music festival. Images and stories I will never forget.
Many of you don’t know this about me, but in the early to mid 1990s I worked with the Department of Corrections. My population for 18 months was solitary confinement, and I did coverage of Florida’s Death Row when the person who had that as their primary job was on vacation. I also worked with rapists and child molesters who were getting treatment to stop offending if/when they ever got out of prison. I spent time with some of the ‘worst of the worst’. I read files of people who had done horrible things. I met with people who did horrible things. While each of these people did horrific things, none of that was as horrifying to me as what happened on October 7th. Working there definitely changed me and it took me 6 months after I left to feel like a normal person again. I’m not sure I will ever be the person I was before October 7th again.
Sundays are when I get my inspiration from songs and music. I debated whether to continue this week with that model or because of the 6-month mark of October 7th, to do something different. I spend time with a couple of Rabbis each week learning and one thing that has come across clearly and that resonates with me is that Judaism believes in hope and gratitude. So I decided to stick with music this week and pick a song that, for me, is entirely about gratitude and reinforces hope.
On day 184 of the hostages’ captivity, on the 6 month mark since October 7th, hope and gratitude are what I need. Hope that the hostages will be released soon. Hope that they are alive. Gratitude for the IDF and all those who risk everything to protect Israel and the Jewish people. Gratitude for our leaders who are speaking out publicly against Hamas and defending Israel’s right to defend herself. Hope that those who aren’t or who aren’t clear will get clarity and fight for good to defeat evil.
Don’t need no five-star reservations, I got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine. Don’t need no concert in the city, I got a stereo and the best of Patsy Cline
Ain’t got no caviar, no Dom Perignon, but as far as I can see, I got everything I want.
It’s a simple beginning focusing on all the things he doesn’t need. All the things that are materialistic but not important. As I sit here on day 184 of the hostages being in captivity and the 6-month mark of the terrorist attack on October 7th, I realize that none of the things that I thought were important on October 6th really are. I would trade the delicious food, the concerts and shows I attend, the nice cars I own for the safe return of the hostages. For the end of Hamas and the end of the war. For the safety of my friends and my friends’ children who are serving in the IDF. For those in Gaza who are innocent and suffering to have food, shelter, medicine, and a government that actually cares for them.
The Bibas kids – Kfir has spend nearly half his life as a hostage of Hamas
I am grateful for the health of my family. For my mom, my in-laws, my siblings and sisters/brothers in law, nieces and nephews, and family that isn’t by blood. I’m lucky that I want what I have rather than focusing on having what I want. The last 20 months, since my dad got sick and then died through the many changes in life, I have paid attention to what is really important to me. Family. Friends. Relationships. Health. As he sings, ‘as far as I can see, I have everything I want.’
‘Cause I got a roof over my head The woman I love laying in my bed And it’s alright (alright), alright I got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it’s alright (alright), alright, yeah I got all I need And it’s alright by me
The chorus reiterates this. The basics are what I need. A roof over my head, somebody I love in my life, clothes, and that powerful relationship. It’s what I need and when I focus on what I need, it’s certainly, “alright by me.”
I have heard the parents of hostages speak in person, on tv, and through interviews. One thing is very clear to me. They would trade EVERYTHING to get their loved one back. I have heard from people who lost loved ones on October 7th – either on the kibbutzim, at the Nova music festival, or trying to save the lives of people being attacked by the Hamas terrorists. They would give up everything to get their loved ones back. Many of them have said they would return to the kibbutz where they lived prior to October 7th but would never live in that house again. They need the roof over their head and the community that they love and love them, but they don’t need that specific home.
I have friends who had loved ones taken hostage that have since been released. When I talk to them, the appreciation they have for their loved one’s release and the empathy from those who have loved ones that have not been released. I have friends who still have loved ones that are hostages and the daily pain they endure is unthinkable. We often have these grandiose things that we want. The nice, new car. The bigger house. The vacation home. The exotic trip. The designer clothes, bag, shoes. I find myself, like the song says, caring about the things that money can’t buy. Health. Happiness. Family. I find myself grateful for the people who care about me and who I have the privilege of caring about. And while I am saddened by the people who I have learned don’t really care, it also frees me up to invest more of my time and my energy with the people who do.
Hila was released after being kept as a hostage the day before she turned 13. The look on her face is priceless as she gets her birthday and Hanukkah gifts from her worldwide Jewish family.
Maybe later on, we’ll walk down to the river Lay on a blanket and stare up at the moon It may not be no French Riviera But it’s all the same to me as long as I’m with you.
May be a simple life, but that’s okay If you ask me baby, I think I’ve got it made.
I have had the privilege in my life to do some amazing travel. Having been to Israel 20 times and my 21st coming up next month isn’t the extent of it. I’ve been to many of the islands in the Caribbean, as a another famous song says, “Aruba, Jamaica” and many, many more. I’ve been on cruises. I’ve been to Mexico and Canada, Italy (more than once), Turkey, Spain, Greece, England, Switzerland, Egypt, Thailand, Bali, and more. Every one of these trips was amazing. I got to see incredible sights and experience incredible cultures and food and meet wonderful people. And yet, I would much rather be with my loved ones and walk down to the lake. I’d rather lay on a blanket together and look up at the moon, spending time with them. I don’t need to go to the exotic places to get those special feelings.
I’m not saying I don’t love traveling (I do). And I’m not saying I’m going to stop traveling (I’m not). What I am saying is that I don’t want to miss the time with family and friends because of some exotic place. I get much more value from meeting my mom for lunch in Lakeland than eating at a café in Venice, Italy. I have more fun eating lunch with a bunch of friends at Portillo’s in Springfield, Illinois than I do at a gourmet restaurant in Istanbul. I love when we cook out at the beach or go as a large family out to dinner during our Greenberg family beach week much more than dinner at Big Itzik in Tel Aviv (and the food there is amazing).
Dinner at Big Itzik (Itzik HaGadol). The food is amazing and the salads are incredible
On day 184 of captivity, on the 6-month mark of the October 7th massacre, I know that the families of those taken hostage or murdered would much rather eat cheese sandwiches with their loved ones than a fancy meal. They’d rather sit in the living room with those in captivity or murdered than take an exotic trip. We live in a world where our priorities are messed up. We now value things so much we forget about the value of our friends and family until it’s too late.
On Friday I learned of the death of a friend and colleague. It wasn’t expected. It was a shock. He was a wonderful man, a friend, a colleague, and just a good human being. Salt of the earth. It was sudden. He was only 5 years older than me. We’ve known each other for around 20 years. It was devastating. It was shocking. I think what bothers me the most is that I don’t remember the last time we spoke. I think it was nearly a year ago in Atlanta. Not for any good reason. Life got busy. We knew we’d talk again. We knew the opportunity would occur. Until it didn’t. I don’t want to live my life that way any longer. I don’t want to regret the call I didn’t make once it is too late. I don’t want to regret the simple text or email to stay connected and make sure those who matter to me know they matter to me. That’s more important than anything else.
When I lay down at night, I thank the Lord above For giving me everything I ever could dream of
‘Cause I’ve got a roof over my head The woman I love laying in my bed And it’s alright, alright, alright, alright I got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it’s alright, alright, alright, yeah
I got all I need, yeah I got all I need And it’s alright by me, oh, yeah It’s alright by me, yeah, yeah, yeah
The last few lines and the chorus once again are powerful. God (or the Lord) is a challenging thing to talk about today. It tends to mean you are either an evangelical Christian, far right wing, a terrorist, a racist, you hate people who are different than you, or somebody who is trying to convert others to your beliefs. Yet it really means none of that.
I pray and meditate every day and have for decades. I have a relationship with God that is personal and meaningful. It’s my own and if you ask me about it, I’m happy to share mine and encourage you to have your own. And if you don’t want your own, that’s ok too. I no longer believe in the punishing God that I was raised with. I believe in a God that is loving, caring, and only wants the best for me. And that when the best doesn’t happen, it is never because of God, it’s always because of me. My favorite book, Illusions by Richard Bach, is a thought-provoking book which challenged my conventional thinking about God and the universe. It explores the nature of reality and perceived reality which led me to question my beliefs and consider new possibilities. In it, there are many sayings pulled from the handbook for life. My favorite is:
“Argue for your limitations and they are yours.”
Since reading the book the first time and reading that quote, I have challenged myself to not fight for my limitations and the limitations of God. It doesn’t mean I can do everything or even anything. It does mean that if I believe I can do it, I can do my best and it may just happen. And it may not happen. But if I argue before I do the work, it never happens. There are many of these gems in the book and at one point I wrote them on index cards and carried them with me to remind me of the lessons.
I thank God every day for the blessings in my life. The relationship I had with my dad. The relationship I have with my mom. My family, my wife, my children, my siblings and sister/brother in laws. My nieces and nephews. My cousins. My family that isn’t blood but is just as close. My friends. A roof over my head. Shoes under my feet. Food to eat.
Many years ago, when I was not yet 21, a friend told me to write down what I wanted in the next year and seal it in an envelope. A year later, we opened it together and I was amazing. My list was incredibly short sited. I had asked and hoped for far less than I actually got. I had argued for my limitations when I wrote the list but didn’t in my life. As a result, I got far more.
On day 184, the 6-month mark since October 7th, we can’t argue for the IDF or Israel’s limitations. They can do what they need to do to protect Israel and the Jewish people. They can do what they need to free the hostages. They will do what is needed to eliminate the evil that is Hamas.
At the end of the day, I do have all that I need and it is alright with me. I’m filled with gratitude and hope, despite the horrors of October 7th, the horrors of war, and the captivity of innocent civilians. We, as a people, will continue to survive and thrive and will do what is needed.
There are many dates that are significant in people’s lives. December 7, 1941.May 14, 1948. November 22, 1963. April 4, 1968. June 6, 1968. July 20, 1969. March 28, 1979. April 20, 1999. September 11, 2001. December 14, 2012. February 14, 2018. In Seattle, it was July 28, 2006.
All the dates above are significant ones. All have meaning in my life. However, for me, October 7, 2023, is a date that changed who I am as a person. Israel has always been an important part of my life and my identity. I remember the stories of my grandparents listening on the transistor radio on November 25, 1947, as the UN voted on the partition plan to create a Jewish state. My grandparents were passionate Zionists, and both sets of them went to visit Israel. I am the rare American Jew who is the 3rd generation to visit Israel. My first trip was the summer of 1989 and I have been a total of 20 times so far with my 21st planned for this year and hopefully my 22nd and 23rd as well.
As I sat in my living room on October 7, 2023, watching the horrors on television and sending WhatsApp messages to my family and friends in Israel to check on them, I knew that I was different as a result. I could tell that I was changed as a result of what was happening. I will never forget the image shown over and over on television of a minivan on the side of the road. The father was the driver and had been murdered, his head laying against the steering wheel. His young daughter was laying on top of him, also murdered. This was one vehicle among many that were shown. As more information and video came out, the horror increased. I sat in my chair watching the reports and getting live info via WhatsApp from friends. My friend Maor, the consul general from Israel to Florida reached out to check on me and told me to stop watching the news because it was bad for my mental health. But I couldn’t. Senator Rick Scott called me to check on how I was doing. I was both shocked and grateful that he called. I worked with some friends to put together a community gathering to express our pain and anger, to give the community an opportunity to grieve together and hopefully a chance to begin to heal. We had US Representatives there, Florida Representatives there, members of the US Senate sent aides and so did members of the US Senate. Mayor Jerry Demings and his wife, Representative Val Demings came. I don’t remember what I said when I spoke but I remember is was passionate, direct, and was filled with emotion.
When it was announced there would be a rally in Washington, DC, on the mall, I knew I had to be there. I knew that both for my own soul and to be able to answer with integrity what I did after October 7th by my future grandchildren, I had to show up. Being there with 300,000 other people was an amazing experience. We sang Hatikvah together, heard from amazing speakers, carried our signs, chanted “Bring them home” about the hostages. It was a feeling I will never forget.
Riding the Metro to the rally when we broke into song. Am Yisrael Chai!
As time moved on, I learned of 4 friends that had family members taken hostage. Six people taken on October 7th by Hamas. Ultimately, four of them have been released. One turned 13 the day after she was released. Her mom was released day after her birthday. My friends and I put together a campaign to get her birthday and Hanukkah presidents. The video of her with the presents is priceless. It made my heart sign. Even today, watching it brings joy to my heart and soul. This precious child was kidnapped, held as a hostage, kept in tunnels, and was traumatized. To see her smile with these presents warms my being.
I worked with the Israel consulate to host a showing of the 47-minute Hamas video for politicians, law enforcement, and some members of the community. Many told me that they couldn’t watch it. Many told me that I shouldn’t watch it. It was painful to see but for me, bearing witness was essential. There are images I saw that I will never forget. The cries of two little boys after their father was murdered in front of them, one having lost the sight in one eye. Their mother coming to site hours later and seeing her husband lying dead in the doorway of the safe room. Beheadings. Blood smeared all over a room where people were executed. Terrorists calling their parents to brag about how many Jews they killed and hearing the excitement not just in their voice but the voice of their parents. It was the same type of pride I felt with my children when they graduated high school and college except this pride was for the murder of Jews. It was horrifying to see and yet, I can’t imagine having not seen what the terrorists of Hamas did to my Jewish mishpacha (family).
A friend of mine in Israel was recalled into the IDF and was the head of operations in Gaza. He told me about what he did on October 7th to try to save people. He spent 120 days in Gaza, coordinating the efforts to eliminate Hamas and free the hostages. I got occasional messages and worried about his safety every day. After 4 months of service, he was released from service temporarily to decompress. He came to the United States for work related projects and happened to be in Orlando. We had a chance to get together and during that time he shared a bit of what it was like during those 120 days. How many times he was nearly killed. He told me that the flight from Israel to America was incredibly difficult for him because it was the first time he had experienced quiet in 120 days, and he finally had a chance to process what happened. I showed him the video of the little girl opening her birthday and Hanukkah presents after being a hostage. The look on his face is one I will never forget. It’s why he does everything he does.
I attended the AIPAC Policy Summit in Washington, DC, just a few weeks ago. We heard from parents of a current hostage. We heard from a young woman whose parents were murdered while her brother hid under the bed, lying in their blood and urine for hours. We heard from a survivor from the Nova Music Festival. It’s always powerful to hear from our national politicians however it was nothing compared to hearing from those who were impacted by October 7th. On the last morning on the Summit, we learned that a US citizen who was taken hostage was murdered by Hamas. We all gasped at the news and the room was filled with sorrow.
Later that day, I finally went to get the tattoos I had wanted for a few months. One is the words of Mia Schem, a hostage taken from the Nova Music Festival. She said, and then got tattooed on her arm, “We will dance again. 7.10.23”. I proudly have that on the inside of my right forearm. The other one is a tree and under the roots it says NOVA 7.10.23. They are constant reminders to me of the horrors of October 7th, of the rise of antisemitism, how we will always be Jews first and foremost, and that there is no need to hide being Jewish, my pride in my Jewish identity, and the importance of Israel to me.
I felt like I had been through the ringer since October 7th. Powerful emotions, loss, fear, concern, anger, frustration – you name it, I have felt it. I have wanted to go to Israel since October 7th however my family has not wanted me to go yet, so I have waited. It’s been incredibly difficult for me not to go, not to be there, not to take action to do my part for Israel and the Israeli people. The concept of Shalom Bayit (peace in the home) has been more important however it hasn’t been easy. Initially I was going in March 2024 that was postponed until May 2024. That date may even be changed.
So having been through the ringer, when there was a showing this week of the new documentary about the Nova music festival, I wanted to go. I had no expectations about the movie or the speaker afterwards. I think that was good because if I had expected the experience to have the impact that it did, I may not have gone.
The documentary was shown through the eyes of those who were attending the music festival. It’s not what I expected. I didn’t expect it to be quite so ‘first person’ view. You could hear the music, see the dancing, and celebrate with joy the fun those who were there enjoyed. It reminded me of many things I used to do with my friends at that age. When the rockets started at sunrise, it was strange hearing them talk about ‘fireworks’ because we already know they were rockets, but those at the festival didn’t at first. Then they saw Iron Dome taking them out and they still had no idea what was coming. As somebody who knew what terror was about to happen, it was hard to watch them in real time, make assumptions that we all would have made at that time. You begin to see the terrorists arrive on bikes, trucks, and gliders. You hear their joy and excitement because they are about to murder and rape and kidnap Jews. I saw that in the Hamas video, but this one was different as it contrasted with those attending the festival. Flipping back and forth between the arriving terrorists and the festival goers who didn’t know what was happening truly felt like a horror movie.
As they began to run and hide, the videos shown were more from those hiding. You could feel their anxiety as they recorded messages. Some send goodbye messages to their families. Some spoke to their parents who begged them to hide, play dead, do anything to survive. The one thing that really hit home was their expectation that the army and the police would come rescue them. As Ambassador Michael Oren has said, it was part of the covenant between the State of Israel and the people. The army, the IDF, would always be there to protect them. On October 7th, they weren’t. Not only could you feel the loss of trust from those hiding, I felt it personally. I always had incredible support and admiration for the IDF. High expectations. We don’t know what happened or why they were so unprepared on October 7th but the reality is they were unprepared. They weren’t there when they were needed. That loss of trust is palpable. It doesn’t surprise me that over 300,000 reservists returned to duty after October 7th, more than were recalled and far more than were expected.
There is a saying in the Talmud, “Kol Arevim Ze LaZeh (or BaZeh depending)”. It means “All of Israel (or all of the Jewish community) is responsible for each other.” It’s commonly said by Rabbis during a sermon urging us to do a little bit more. On October 7th, it showed me what it really means. We are all one. What happens to one of us happens to all of us. If we don’t stand together to take care of each other, nobody will stand with us and we will all fall. It’s why I have struggled with not going to Israel since October 7th. In my heart, in my soul, I need to be there helping in any way that I can. I also need to be here with my family. It’s my own internal struggle that I face and deal with on a daily basis.
The end of the movie is when the IDF does finally show up, approximately 7 hours after the attack began. I have seen this footage before and in the movie, they chose to blur out the dead bodies lying around the festival. The footage I saw showed the bodies. It was horrific. You could hear the urgency in the IDF soldiers voices as they cried to out for any survivors. Is there anybody alive? And reporting to everybody else that everybody they found is dead. It’s a sobering sight. It reminded me of the pictures from US soldiers discovering the Nazi death camps but now in real time for me. The first time I saw that footage, I was struck by the number of people who were murdered, who were lying there dead only because they were Jews. This time it was the voices of the IDF soldiers, devastated that by the time they arrived, there was nobody to save. I felt their failure through their voices. The breaking of that covenant. The change occurring for all Israelis and Jews in the diaspora. The need to look deep within and ask, “What am I doing? How can I help? What’s my obligation?”
WARNING – The video below is GRAPHIC. You may not want to watch it.
THIS IS GRAPHIC – THE IDF ARRIVES AT THE NOVA MUSIC FESTIVAL TO FIND EVERYBODY DEAD
The movie ended, the lights turned on, blinding us for a moment. I think we needed that moment of blindness to return us from the horrors occurring at the Nova Festival on October 7th to the current day.
Lee Sasi, a young woman from Los Angeles, who is a survivor of the Nova music festival massacre, took the podium and began to speak to us.
Here is a video interview she did with Jake Tapper of CNN on October 11th. The story she told us was similar to what she shares here, only with more detail. The way Jake Tapper is stunned and doesn’t know what to say is how we felt listening to her months later. Her pain, expressed days later, was no different when she spoke to us.
I get angry when I hear about Israel’s ‘indiscriminate killing’ of Gazan citizens, because it’s not true. The data, even using the numbers provided by Hamas, shows that the civilian to military casualty rate is approximately 1:1, one of the lowest ever. The UN reports that the normal rate is 9:1, meaning 90% of all casualties in war are civilians. This means that Israel is 9 times better than the accepted ratio by the world. War is awful and innocent people die. It’s why we need to try to avoid war at all costs. But when we can’t, we have to fight the evil. Hamas is the evil that is involved with indiscriminate killings. Listen to Lee’s description of how the terrorists fired into the bunker of civilians. How they threw grenades into a mass of civilians. How they executed a man in front of the bunker as he yelled to them in Arabic, “I am an Arab, I am an Arab.”
Listening to Lee speak about what happened at the Nova festival and the horrors and evil of Hamas impacted me deeply. It became more personal than before. It reinforced how essential it is that we fight against evil because if we don’t eliminate evil, if we allow evil to live, it will grow. And evil will destroy all of us, just like Hamas executed the Bedouin man outside the shelter who was yelling to them that he was an Arab. Evil doesn’t care.
We see this in our own country as people are choosing to attack Jews in the name of Palestinian freedom. How does a synagogue being attacked help the people of Gaza? How does protesting a Jewish actor just for being Jewish, not for any statement or action, help get food to the people of Gaza? How does blocking streets in America help stop the corruption of UNRWA who isn’t delivering the humanitarian aid to the people of Gaza and instead is giving it to Hamas who is keeping it or selling it on the back market? Listen to what the people of Gaza are saying. The humanitarian aid costs too much to buy. IT’S FREE unless Hamas is stealing it. The food packages don’t include any meat or protein. That’s because HAMAS IS STEALING IT.
I worry about not just the future of Israel but the future of the United States, of Europe and of the world. We are allowing evil to win. Hearing Lee Sasi share her story forces me to increase my efforts to fight evil. After coming home from the event, I reached out to friends of mine who are Palestinians in Bethlehem, East Jerusalem, and Beit Jala. I wanted to check on them, reaffirm our friendship, and set up a time for us to talk about what the future may look like and what we can do together, to fight evil and change the world. I urge you to do the same with your friends, wherever they are. Start in your local community. Reach out to people who are different than you and get a cup of coffee. Have a conversation. Begin by agreeing that you want a better world and perhaps you disagree on how to get there. Start the process.
We owe it to Lee Sasi, her uncle who sacrificed his life to save hers and others, and all those murdered on October 7th to make the world a better place. We owe it to all those who have lost their lives as a result of the evil of Hamas to not let their deaths be in vain. We can change the world but it takes our effort, our commitment, and our dedication to make it happen. We need all of us to do our part.
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