Tag: love

Two years of war and a happy country?

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I returned from Israel on Friday. It was a long return trip, waking up at 5 am IST (10 pm Thursday night ET) and leaving early in the morning from Haifa to get to Ben Gurion airport. The long flight to JFK was easy but was during the day so I didn’t sleep much. A 2 hour layover and I was on my flight home. I got to my house around midnight, 26 hours after I woke up in Haifa.

The long trip gave me a lot of time to think. Dealing with jetlag upon my return gave me more time to think. This was a different trip for me. I knew going into it that I needed to be in Israel for my soul. I wasn’t touring the ‘normal’ way and was going to spend a few days just being in Israel before a day of work in Jerusalem and then 3 days up north working. It was a day about my relationship with Israel and Israelis, not about the Jewish connection to Israel. I was in Jerusalem but not the old city. I didn’t visit the Dead Sea or Masada. I did spend time on the beach, hanging in restaurants with Israelis, visiting schools and youth programs, and being connected to ordinary people.

On the plane returning and in the past two days, I have found myself reflecting on the ordinary people of Israel. Israel is typically rated one of the happiest countries in the world. This despite living in a very tough neighborhood with genocidal terrorist organizations like Hamas and Hezbollah on their borders. Terrorists try to come in every day to murder Israeli people and Iran is an existential threat. This was before the horrors of October 7th. Yet in the 2025 survey of the world’s happiest countries, Israel ranked 5th. A country that was attacked and invaded in 2023 where over 1,200 people murdered in the attack. A country at war with so many of her citizens called back to serve in the reserves. A country being villified by the international community based on terrible lies, being called terrible things, all due to Jew hatred. A country that had the north evacuated due to daily rocket attacks and who spent time almost daily in bomb shelters. This is the country that was the 5th happiest in 2024?

This past week helped me really understand how a country facing all these challenges could be the world’s 5th happiest country (for comparison, the United States was 21st). In Israel, they focus on what they have rather than what they don’t have. They focus on gratitude not desire. It’s a country that realizes that gratitude is a far better way to live than envy.

It got me thinking about my life and the changes I have made in the past few years. My dad dying in September 2022 was a life changing event for me. Not just because I lost a parent and mentor. It was a realization that the end is closer than any of us want to acknowledge and the question is more about who we want to be and how we want to live than how much we can have.

So I have changed my life. I removed a great deal of stress. for decades, my job was filled with stress. I’m just as busy and working just as hard but now it is without the stress that I used to have. I make sure that I am rested and not burning the candle at both ends. I make sure to eat and eat healthy. No more skipping lunch because I’m too busy. I eat healthy now – whole foods rather than something quick. Today I had the time to make a fresh salad for lunch, cutting up lettuce, tomatoes and other veggies rather than grabbing something quick to stuff down my throat because I had no time between meetings.

On this Israel trip, I got to meet people who were doing the same thing. People who lived by their values so they moved their family to the north to repopulate that area after the war. While many people won’t move back, there are many who realize how important it is to live there and are choosing to do so. The high school student who had the opportunity to decide whether he wanted to take the exams for his bagrut (high school diploma) and decided not to take them. As he shared that with us, I could feel his trepidation as he was waiting for criticism. Criticism that he didn’t get. The early childhood teacher who loved his job and the children he interacted with. The little tricks he did for them and the joy in their faces as he did them. The care in his voice as he talked to them and way they were truly little people, not just kids.

I talked with people who are more concerned about the mental health of IDF combat soldiers than their personal income. They are volunteering tremendous amounts of time to do their part in providing for the mental health care needed for these soldiers. Each time an IDF combat soldier commits suicide, a little piece of them dies, so they work to reduce that number to zero. They invest their time, their money, and their heart and soul.

I went to visit Hapoel Jerusalem Football Club (HJFC), a team that is much more than a professional team in the Premier League for men and women’s soccer. Their social programs are changing the face of Jerusalem and the future of Israel. Hersh Goldberg-Polin (z’l) was one of the leaders of their fan club. I wear my Hapoel Jerusalem FC shirt with his face on it proudly. It speaks to people living by their values, choosing to make the world a better place which means they are happier in their daily lives. Read the post below which describes somebody’s experience with the girls program of HJFC. It’s extraordinary.

I used to believe that I could never make Aliyah (move to Israel) because I want to live like an American in Israel and to do so is extremely expensive. There is a saying about life in Israel that explains this well.

People don’t move to Israel to become financially rich. They move to Israel to be spiritually rich. To be emotionally fulfilled. To have meaning in their life. You don’t have to move to Israel to have those things. We can choose them in our daily lives. Yet in America, we rarely do. We place money ahead of our values. Our answer to the saying, “You can either be happy or right” is often to be right. The lesson I was reminded of on this trip is that we don’t have to make those choices. We can learn to focus on what matters. Being happy. Enjoying life.

When I came back from Israel, my oldest son was home for the weekend. It was great having him home for the weekend, even though we didn’t do anything. Just having him around was nice. My best friend’s son is getting married next weekend and I’ll be there to celebrate. A few days later, my younger son is taking the LSAT and has to go to Ft Myers to take it (that’s an entirely different story). So we’ll drive down to Ft Myers, stay in a hotel, he’ll take the LSAT and then we’ll drive home. 8 hours in the car together along with a night at the hotel together. Priceless. That’s the key to being happy – enjoying every minute and the opportunities they present.

I think of my dog, a now 10 month old chocolate lab. She gets excited to see me every morning, not because I’m going to take her outside and give her breakfast. Not because she’ll get treats and do a puzzle. She gets excited because we are together. When my wife comes downstairs and comes home from work, my puppy is filled with anticipation and realizes she is the luckiest dog in the world because she’s with her people, with her pack. That’s how I want to be.

Israel taught me that. Despite two years of war, they cherish every moment. Despite a year of rockets falling on them and rushing to their safe room day after day after day, they found ways to appreciate things. As I sat on the beach in Tel Aviv, breathing the fresh air, listening to the waves and people all around me, I realized just how lucky I am. It’s not about the things I have or don’t have. It’s not about the size of my house or my bank account. It’s about the people in my life. Recognizing the beauty in the world around me. The gifts of life.

I have been to Israel 24 times. Trip 25 is scheduled. What a gift. What a blessing. As I look at that image, my heartbeat slows, any stress disappears, I relax and realize just how lucky I am. And when we realize how lucky we are instead of thinking about all we don’t have, the world is a much better place.

A day of powerful mixed emotions with a lesson learned.

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Today was both a day I had dreaded for a long time and one I had happily anticipated for a long time. Talk about a conflict of emotions. Today, the bodies of Shiri, Ariel and Kfir Bibas along with the body of Oded Lifshitz were returned to Israel from Gaza by Hamas. Since October 7th, along with so many others, we hoped and prayed for the return of the entire Bibas family. We were afraid that they would not return home alive. When Yarden was returned a few weeks ago, we hoped the family would be reunited and we would get to experience that joy. Today, we officially knew, that joy would never be realized.

More than not realized, the way Hamas returned the coffins of these children they attacked, kidnapped, held hostage, and murdered was disgusting. The way they paraded the coffins of Oded and Shiri through the streets of Gaza was horrifying. Just when you think they can’t sink lower, can’t show the world just how evil they are even clearer, they do.

Hamas locked the coffins and didn’t give Israel the keys. They put propoganda inside the coffins. They put pictures of other hostages on the exterior of the coffins. They used a full size for both Ariel and Kfir so the world wouldn’t see how they murdered the innocent children that they kidnapped and took hostage.

I know I am not alone in grieving the loss of the Bibas children and their mother. Of feeling the unimaginable pain of Yarden. The Bibas family loved Batman and the images of them wearing Batman costumes and shirts and pajamas are iconic. The piece below captures our loss powerfully as Batman himself grieves as the three orange stars in the sky remind us what we have lost.

A cartoon by Israeli artist Adva Sanot – The Bibas family loved Batman. This cuts deep.

There were busses bombed in Bat Yam today and more bombs found on busses in Tel Aviv that were set to go off tomorrow morning. It won’t get the worldwide attention that it should because the target of the bombs were Jews. The fact that the innocent Palestinians were the ones who planted the bombs, who planned to murder as many innocent people as they could with these explosives will be lost in the media.

The UN continues to brag about how much food and medical attention they have provided in Gaza while also claiming famine and no medical supplies or facilities existing. They can blatently lie because the world allows them to do so. Nobody calls them out on the lies, they instead use them to create more Jew hatred. The other day, comedian Jerry Seinfeld said what so many people are feeling. What so many people have been waiting to hear.

Today was also a day I have been anticipating. This past summer, we lost our 13 1/2 year old chocolate lab, Bella. She brought us so much joy it was very hard to say goodbye. Our house hasn’t been the same since. A couple of months ago, we decided to get another lab. The loss of Bella was so hard on all of us, we decided to get a puppy so we would have her for as long as possible. Today was pick-up day for our new puppy. Today is the day that she came home to live with us. Since we knew we were getting her, she was a part of our family. We visited her about 10 days ago and each day since was another day closer to having her. I got up early, drove to Dunellen to the breeder, and picked her up. She sat on the front seat next to me, chewing on my hand. My thumb was her favorite. Partway home, she decided to climb into my lap, lay her head in the crook of my right arm, and take a little nap. The drive home was special as we bonded.

Charlotte (Charlie) on the way home in the car, in the house, and out in the yard.

The love and joy I felt is indescribable. I struggled with the knowledge that they bodies of Bibas family were being identified at the same time that I was filled with joy as we added Charlotte (Charlie) to our family. Having her home, exploring our house, playing in our yard, bouncing around filled with life, was such incredible light that my heart was full while also being broken.

Watching this little girl hop and run and chase the tennis ball warmed my heart.

I find myself focused today on the power of evil and how it robs us of joy. It robs us of the wonder of life. Hamas is evil. Full stop. They have no redeeming quality. They have no reason to exist other than hate. And they need to be eliminated, not just as an idea but all those who participated in the horror of October 7th, the taking of hostages, the keeping of the hostages, the torturing of hostages. I don’t care if they put on a journalist t-shirt or have a medical degree. They are not journalists or doctors. They are not teachers or leaders of civil society. They are terrorists. They are evil. And they must be eliminated.

In May and July of 2024, I visited the Nova music festival site. It was painful both times. I had a chance to join with others to sing, to bring music back to this place that was ripped apart on October 7th. Both times I got to hear the story of Rami Davidian, a farmer at a local Moshav, who saved 750 people from the Nova site on October 7th. I was able to video record his talk in July. Near the end, he talks about what he did on October 8th, when he returned to the site to provide some dignity to the dead. As he talks about the women who were tied to the trees that he cut down, closed their legs and covered them for dignity as he said the Shema over their bodies, you can see the pain in his eyes. The emotion gets to him more about October 8th and what those women endured before being murdered than anything on October 7th. As he looked at the trees, I could see him still seeing the women tied to those trees. It’s something I will never forget and I can’t imagine how he will live with those memories. Stolen joy. Stolen life. Stolen dignity.

I know that I have changed since October 7th. And I know I have changed with the events after October 7th. And I know that the murder of Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas have changed me again. I also know that adding Charlotte (Charlie) to our family has changed me in a different way. I won’t let the Jew haters or the terrorists change who I am as a human being. I also won’t let them win. The same way Jerry Seinfeld called out the guy who thought he was being funny, I can also not allow stupid, hateful, racist, bigoted comments to go unchallenged. We can all stand up and speak out the same way that Secretary of State Marco Rubio wouldn’t allow CBS Anchor Margaret Brennan to get away with telling a lie and speaking untruths on Face the Nation. We need to be forceful like Seinfeld and Rubio. We need to not allow the lies to go unchallenged.

We need to remember the facts and not be afraid to say them. A large-scale survey of Gazans, conducted by researchers from Oxford University and published in Foreign Affairs just last week, showed that 98% of those surveyed described themselves as religious, and nearly as many said they saw the conflict with Israel in religious, not political terms: The Jews were usurpers who must be banished. How? When asked, 47% said they wanted to see Israel destroyed and replaced with a strict Islamic state governed by Sharia law, and 20% said they would settle merely for the forced removal of all Jews and their transfer to wherever it was their ancestors had lived prior to immigrating to Israel. You can read an article about the study here.

This isn’t about land or a state. This is about eliminating the Jews. Those who want to argue otherwise need to be called out and held to account. No more hiding. No more quiet. No more putting our heads in the sand. It’s not just that we owe it to ourselves and to our children and grandchildren. We owe it to Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas.

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Four more home and more inspiration

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Four more hostages returned home on Saturday. Karina Ariev, Daniella Gilboa, Naama Levy and Liri Albag, all members of the Israeli Defense Forces, were released from captivity in Gaza by Hamas after 477 days. They were released early in the morning Eastern Time, so when I woke up, they were already out of Gaza.

L: Daniella Gilboa, Karina Ariev, Liri Albag, Naama Levy

When I watched the video of their release, I was horrified. Hamas held a parade to show them off to a cheering crowd. The video clearly shows the support of Hamas and of terrorists who brutally murdered 1,200 people on October 7th and kidnapped another 251 people. It’s more proof of the lies told by the media, the ICC, and the world. There is something very wrong about giving gift bags and certificates to people you have brutally kidnapped and held for 477 days.

The Hamas parading of the 4 hostages to a celebratory crowd in Gaza.

I anxiously awaited the videos and pictures of them reuniting with their families. Last week, those videos were incredibly emotional and both broke and warmed my heart at the same time. Thinking of those who will never come home alive, thinking of those still in captivity, and thinking of what nearly 500 days of captivity would do to a person.

The pictures and videos were amazing. They brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me why Israel made such a terrible deal. 200 terrorists and murderers went free to bring these 4 women home. A terrible deal. And worth it. When I looked at their faces, the faces of their family members, and listed to the sounds of their squeals of delight, it was an insight into the values of Judaism. Life. Family. Love. Perserverance. Humanity.

Naama Levy greeting her family
Daniella Gilboa with her family
Karina Ariev meeting her family
Liri Albag with her family

I’m not sure how any human being can watch these videos and not smile and have tears in their eyes. We’ve seen the brutality of Hamas on October 7th. We’ve seen them murder hostages. They kept these 4 women in captivity for 477 days. An incredible number of days. The hostages in Iran were held for 444 days in much better conditions.

I can understand how these women could be bitter and angry. How they could be filled with resentment. I would expect they would want privacy with the families and loved ones. Amazingly, I would be wrong. Last week we saw the amazing Emily Damari, who lost two fingers on her left hand, inspire us with her bravery and smile. The story of how she tried to get Hamas to release her friend’s father, Keith Siegel, instead of herself, is an epic exhibition of selflessness. This week we got the story of Liri Albag, now 19 years old, send the world a message of love. She has every right to be angry. She has every reason to hate the world that allowed her to remain in captivity for 477 days. Instead, she sent a message of love.

I was astounded as I watched it. Her smile. The heart symbol at the end. Extraordinary. How does somebody come out of 477 days of captivity at 19 years of age with this type of attitude? How much gratitude for her family and for life must she have?

As the day went on, we learned more about their 477 days of captivity. They were used as domestic slaves, often given no food and not allowed to bathe or have any personal hygiene. They were kept in civilians’ home for a good amount of time. Civilians who harbor and hide hostages are not civilians. They are complicit and combatants. As the media decries attacks on civilians, it’s important that we remind them that these ‘civilians‘ are anything but innocent. They were part of the looting after the attacks on October 7th and they helped hide hostages. When the UN or the ICC makes their absurd claims, we have proof that they are lies.

Later in the day, word came out that a member of the Israeli Health Ministry said that the released hostages are in an “emotionally and medically complex” situation. None of us know what that means but it hurts to the core of our hearts. These brave women clearly faced things that are unimaginable. Yet the had brave faces for the world. She wanted to show strength and love in public. We can only pray for their full recovery, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

To summarize what we know about Hamas and these hostages on the day of their release:

  • They were held together in captivity along with Agam Berger, who remains in Gaza, and were separated from her just days ago.
  • In the first days of captivity, an elderly hostage helped ensure they had food and were able to shower. They were able to share that he was killed in captivity.
  • There were periods when there was no food and they were starved
  • The girls were held both in civilian apartments and in Hamas tunnels
  • They were disguised as Arab women when moved from place to place
  • They were able to see some news, mostly to Al Jazeera, and learned to speak Arabic

When they spoke about Hamas’ “release ceremony,” they said, “We showed them on the stage that it did not bother us. We are stronger than that.” Now we all say a mishaberach (prayer for healing) for them to have a full recovery.

The other topic of the day is the Bibas family. They are on the list to be released but have not yet been included. This beautiful family with two beautiful babies were taken hostage on October 7th. We don’t know if they are alive or not. We know that they have a deep meaning to us all. We need them to be alive. We need them to be ok. We need them to come home. If they aren’t alive, I am concerned about what the Jewish world will demand as a pound of flesh for their murders. Kidnapping a 9 month old and a 4 year old is bad enough. Murdering them is unforgivable. If they come home dead, I’m concerned that I will feel like I did at Kfar Aza while I watched and listened to Israel bomb Jabaliya, less than a mile away. In May, that was the only time I felt any relief at Kfar Aza, when the bombs were dropped and exploded. Listening and seeing buildings collapse. It’s not who I am but it is who I was in that moment. The murder of the Bibas family may be that way for not just me but many others. All we can do is pray and hope. All we can do is wait for Hamas to send them home.

The Bibas family – 2 beautiful babies and their parents taken hostage

It is hard to believe that we will go through this same emotional rollercoaster every week for another 5 weeks in this first stage of the ceasefire. 33 hostages will come home over a 7 week, painful period. Hamas wants us to feel the pain. Hamas wants us to agonize. We will. But we can also look at the videos of the released hostages. We look at the images of their reunification with their familes and see the love and gift of life. Their hope and their spirit can get us through this. After nearly 500 days in captivity, the three girls released last week and four girls released this week will continue to give to us. It feels selfish but somehow, I think they would disagree and would understand and appreciate our pain.

I will use this picture of Naama Levy reuniting with her parents. Naama, who’s kidnapping was one of the most seen videos from October 7th. Naama, who we begged to come home and now is. When I look at this picture, it reminds me of a picture I have with my dad, one from my older son’s bar-mitzvah, when we were both filled with joy, happiness, gratitude, and awe. Just like the Levy family who got their precious daughter back alive.

Her hand is a symbol and lesson – but of what?

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Emily Damari’s hand has become an international symbol.  The pictures are stunning and shocking. When you see her face and her hand, you realize that her hand does not define her, yet it also is a par tof her identity now. Shot in the hand by Hamas on October 7th, kidnapped and held hostage for 471 days, nobody knew what Emily would be like upon her release. What we have seen in just a week is truly remarkable. Her spirit, her smile, and the videos of her with her family warm my heart. It gives me hope for the other hostages and their pending release. It reminds me of my obligation to live and to be an inspiration, not just to my family, but those who know me or know of me.

One of the most beautiful pictures I have seen. Her face, her smile, and her hand show resilience

Her hand is a symbol and an inspiration. But of what? Rabbi Daniel Gordis, in his Israel from the Inside substack, writes about this, stating

“Here are some of the thoughts that I’ve heard from others:

  • It’s a “V” symbol, for “victory”
  • It’s “just” a wave, but Hamas turned her simple into “V”
  • It looks like the letter shin, ש, which is the letter on the Mezuzah, as “shin” stands for “Shadd-ai”, one of the Hebrew names of God 
  • It sort of looks like a heart 

And then, the one that I thought was the most profound:

  • “She’s home, and she’ll heal. But she’ll never be whole. Just like this country.”“

There is so much to think about in that analysis. It may be a ‘V for victory’, but what did we really win? She is home safe, which is a victory, but it is hard to say that we have won anything. Israel defended her citizens, crippled Hamas and Hezbollah, weakened Iran, and as a result, allowed for the toppling of the Assad regime. Yet it’s hard to think of that as a ‘win’. I believe almost everybody would rather the world be as it was on October 6th rather than where we are today, so it’s hard to see anything as a victory.

I love the concept of her hand now looking like the Hebrew letter shin, standing for the name of God. It’s a physical symbol of God and how God is inside all of us. In Emily’s case, she now has an outer symbol of God. It has been noted that her hand is now the same as the sign for “I love you” in American Sign Language. This ties even more into the letter shin as it shows God’s love for us all. I had the privilege and honor of meeting Elie Wiesel three times and having dinner with him twice. Sitting with him, it was clear that he had been touched by God. I feel the same way about Emily. Her hand is the symbol.

When I look, I don’t see a heart. I think it’s a bit of a stretch but I do love the concept. Emily and all the hostages have had our hearts since October 7th. When we learn one of them was murdered, our heart breaks. When we see one of them released, our heart sings. As Jews, we are all mishpacha (family). It’s a reminder of that as well. It is a reminder that no matter how much the terrorists of Hamas and Hezbollah try to take away our morals and ethics and our commitment to life, we will not let them do that. When I see her hand, it reminds me that I have to do better, be better, to make the world a better place.

I agree with Rabbi Gordis on the last one. It is the most profound. And perhaps the most true of them all. October 7th broke us. Going to the Nova site at Re’im was incredibly painful. Visiting Kibbutz Kfar Aza felt like being at Auschwitz just after liberation. I’ll never forget that feeling. Meeting and spending time with the displaced families from Kibbutz Alumim in Netanya as heartbreaking and inspiring and then visiting Kibbutz Alumim two months later, meeting those who moved back, and seeing what the terrorists both did and tried to do there, was deeply moving. We will all heal in some way. Yet we will also not be whole. Emily is the symbol for the entire Jewish world. She is the symbol for Israel. When I visited Israel in May and July iof 2024, you could feel how the country was different. When I went back in September, after the murder of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, Ori Danino, Eden Yerushalmi, Almog Sarusi, Alexander Lobanov and Carmel Gat, the country had changed yet again. Israel will heal. Israel will recover. But the Israel of October 6, 2023 will likely never exist again. Neither will any of us.

Kfar Aza in May 2024. When I watch and listen, I still feel the pain and anger that I did on that day.

My friend Fleur Hassan Nahoum picks a scumbag of the week and a hero of the week on her podcast, The Quad, each week. This week, her hero was Emily. As you listen to her talk about Emily, there is so much to identify with. She, and all the hostages, are family. We cried when they were taken. We ached as we thought of what they were enduring. We spoke out for their release and safe return. We celebrate when they are released and we mourn when we find out they have been murdered. Her hand should be the new symbol of giving Hamas “the finger”. They tried to murder us all and kill our spirits. They took her captive and held her for 471 days. She wouldn’t be detered. She is emblematic of the Jewish and the Israeli spirit. When I look at her, when I watch videos of her, I see life. I see future. I see hope.

Emily reminds us all of who we used to be, who we currently are, and who we aspire to be. As she comes home after 471 days that none of us can imagine, after 471 days than none of us would to experience for a single day, she exudes hope, love, and beauty. In a world filled with despair, filled with immense challenges, filled with incredible hate and bigotry, Emily reminds us that there is another path. Even in the worst of times, in the worst of places, enduring the worst of humanity, Emily’s smile shows us we can perservere. We can win by living our lives. We can defeat evil by never letting go of who we are and what we believe.

Drawing by artist Moshe Shapira, the father of Alex Shapira z’l, murdered on October 7, 2023, while hiding with his friends and others in a shelter in Re’im, after fleeing the Nova music festival

Emily is an inspiration. She is a reminder than good can defeat evil. It takes effort. Sometimes herculean effort, like surviving 471 days of captivity and brutality by Hamas. Losing two fingers and having their stubs fused together. Who knows what other horrors she had to face. Yet she survived and brings light to all of us. If Emily can do it, so can we. Let Emily’s spirit inspire all of us to do better, to be better, and to fight harder. Am Yisrael Chai!!

Reflecting and Reflections

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

As we begin 2025, I have found myself much more reflective than normal. For me, the end of a year is usually more future focused than reflective. I tend to look at what the upcoming year may bring and the opportunities that lie ahead rather than looking back at what happened and can’t be changed. I am not sure what is different this year but it definitely is different.

The past four years have been filled with incredible challenges and learning experiences. From dealing with the challenges and stress of Covid, especially when I was running an organization with almost 150 employees depending on me, to health challenges that at one point indicated potential major surgery, life was challenging. 2022 is the year that my dad died, a truly transformative event in my life. We were very close and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him. I had a major career change and recently had another health scare that thankfully turned out to not be anything serious. I’ve had friends die and seeing people my age or slightly older die has shown me the reality that there is far more time behind me than ahead of me. My oldest son has begun his career and no longer lives close by. My youngest son is graduating college in May. As I prepare for 2025, it is clear that all these things have made me more reflective than ever before.

As we approach the start of 2025, I find myself thinking about what really matters to me. What is it that I really want? What is it that I really value? Who do I want in my life? How do I want to spend my time? Who do I want to invest my most precious commodity, my time, with? I recently found old picture albums and boxes with pictures in them. As I look back at my college pictures, it doesn’t seem that long ago, yet it also seems forever ago. My 40th High School reunion is in 2025 and as I look at those pictures, it feels like yesterday while also feeling like it was lived by a different person. Perhaps it’s that stage of life, approaching 60, my youngest graduating college, watching nieces and nephews get married and have children, that is causing this.

It is actually a wonderful place to be. Challenging for sure, but also wonderful.

What does matter to me? Over the past few years I have clarified things and been much more focused. Here is my list as we start 2025.

  • Health. Without health we have nothing. I remember hearing this from my grandparents as a child and not appreciating it. Over the past few years, I have had some health challenges and understand it. My father had health challenges and then died in 2022. I recently had a friend die of a heart attack while he slept. I’ve seen far too many people my age or close to my age struggle with health issues and many pass away. Health matters. That means taking care of myself in ways I never would have before. It means being grateful for every day I wake up and am not struggling with a health issue. It’s being grateful for the health of my family and my friends. At the end of the day, health matters the most because no matter what else I have, if I don’t have my health, I really have nothing.
  • Family. I grew up being taught about the importance of family. Not just immediate family, but family by blood and by choice. In my family, I have brothers and sisters, both by blood (one of each) and by choice (2 of each). I have cousins that I am close with that are not your typical first cousins. I have aunts and uncles that are defined that way by the dictionary and those that are defined that way by their actions. I recently was talking to my aunt and uncle (who technically would be cousins) and I said to them point blank, “You are my aunt and uncle. You always have been and always will be.”. Family matters. Family shows up. Family is so much more than just blood. I got a note from my ‘brother’ on New Year’s Eve that touched my heart deeply. He talked about how our friendship that began more than 35 years ago has changed his life. I told him it changed mine as well. He has been, and always will be, my brother. His mom was my mom. His aunt and uncle were my aunt and uncle. My parents were his parents. I’m known as ‘Uncle K’ to his kids. He is Uncle Aric to mine. You can replace most things in life but you can’t replace family.
  • Basic needs. I grew up in the 70s and 80s. Gordon Gecko and ‘Greed is Good’. Yuppies and the desire for material things. Madonna and ‘Material Girl’. More was always better. In my life today, more is not better. I find myself wanting less. I want to make sure I have clothes, shelter, and food. While I have a nice car, it’s not something that I ‘need’ and look forwad to when I get a different one and getting one that is a ‘step down’. I find that material things are not what drives me nor do I find myself ‘wanting’ many things. I’d rather get a call and a happy birthday wish than a gift. For Hanukkah this year, being together as a family and lighting candles together was so much more than any material gift. I am actively in the process of moving from ‘wanting less’ to ‘having less’, not because of economics but because things don’t mean much any longer. As I was cleaning out my garage last weekend, I came across some old photo albums. The memories in those pictures meant more to me than any material item. My focus is on my basic needs and the rest isn’t necessary. It no longer adds much value to my life.
  • Values. This may seem like a strange thing to list here but it is actually one of the most important to me. Who I am, what I stand for matters. The type of person that I am, matters to me. I don’t have to be right all the time. I don’t have to ‘win’ all the time. I appreciate those who help me and I want to do what I can to help others. Not because I will ‘get’ anything from it, other than feeling good because I am doing good. It helps me understand the Jewish value of “Tikkun Olam” in a different way. By being a better person, by having and living my values, by treating people with dignity and respect, by helping others without expectation of anything in return, I get so much. I recently had a friend who has been struggling to find full time employment. We would talk over texts as she shared her frustration with the job market. I kept my eyes open for her and found a variety of opportunities for her to consider. I was there to help and support her. Eventually, I found one that worked out for her – she got a job doing what she loves, in an environment that is positive, and that pays her a salary that she feels is appropriate for her skill level and talent. The fact that she is working for another friend of mine only makes it better, as they both win. What did I get out of it? Nothing material – just feeling good that I was able to help two friends. Values and integrity are everything. They mean far more to me than a paycheck or any material good. I feel good about who I am every day when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep. That is truly priceless.
  • Time. This has become more important as I have gotten older. We have no control over the time we have on this earth. My cousin, who was my age and like a brother to me, died unexpectedly in 1995. His brother, who I sort of adopted as my little brother, died in 2015. My father died in 2022. My fraternity big brother died in 2013. One of my close friends and I have begun to keep track of our fraternity brothers who have died young. When our time is up, our time is up. It’s what we do with our time that matters. For many years, building my career was a top priority. It meant sacrificing time with my family, with my children, with my parents, because of the demands required to be successful. Many people behave this way. I made the decision that I no longer want that. I don’t want my time defined by work. Just this past year, I went to watch my older son coach college football games three times. I took a crazy day trip to California with my younger son to see the Giants and A’s each play home games before taking the redeye home. I took Brightline with my younger son and his girlfriend to Miami to see the Marlins play and get our SpongeBob Squarepants Marlins jerseys. My wife and I went to Red Rocks to see Carlos Santana in concert. We go to the theater for Broadway shows, we travel to watch the UFC fights, spending money to get good seats and have a memorable experience. I spend a good amount of time in Israel in 2024 with trips in May, July, and September. I meet my mom in Lakeland, halfway between us, for lunch or dinner. Time is a commodity. How we choose to use it is up to us. I spent enough time devoted to my career. While I still spend plenty of time working and on my career, I value family and time spent in meaningful ways much more than extra money, a bigger professional role, or a big title. My priorities have shifted.
  • Friends. Throughout my career and my life, I have made a lot of friends. What I have learned is that many people who we call friends are merely acquaintences. They are people who are there in the good times, who are there when you can give them something, and are there when it benefits them. Real friends show up during the difficult times. Real friends show up when it is inconvenient for them but you need them. Real friends don’t care what others think. Over the past few years, I have had the opportunity to learn who my real friends are. I have seen people that I thought were friends simply not show up. Not reach out. I have seen people show up and show that they are real friends who I didn’t expect would show up. I do things differently now. I make sure to check in with my friends, not matter where they live. I do it not because of what they can do for me but because I value them in my life. A few months ago, I started having lunch with a group of guys on Friday. They are all 80+ so I bring the demographic down signficantly. I love these lunches. I enjoy the company, the conversation, the things I learn from them. While some of them I have known for years, others are new friends. I do my best not to miss those lunches because I value their company. I learn from them. I can honestly say that if any of them needed something, I would be there for them. I reach out to friends that I know are struggling with things in life, just to be a voice telling them that I’m here and I care. I have learned how important active friendship is and make sure to be an active friend.
  • Spirituality. While I would not call myself a very religious person, I am a very spiritual person. I pray and meditate every morning and have for over 30 years. I like learning with a Rabbi (I have two that I do it with) because it helps me connect with God in different ways and helps me be a better human being. I enjoy rituals like putting on tefillin, singing Acheinu every day until the hostages are released, lighting the menorah, eating apples and honey, and cooking for holiday meals as if 40 people are showing up even when it’s just 4-6. These are things than bring me joy. My connection to God brings me joy. My Jewish identity brings me joy. These things actually make my life both simpler and fuller. I have found that nothing in life happens by accident. There is a divine force behind it all – I may not see or appreciate it for a while, but it is there. I am who I am today because of my life experiences. The ones that I loved and the ones that I would not have chosen. I know that God always takes care of me in the long run, even if the short run is uncomfortable and not what I would have chosen on my own. It is why I say thank you every morning for whatever the day may bring me. If it was up to me, I would always choose the easier option. This would inhibit my growth as a human being. This would limit me. Instead, I get the gift of opportunity to grow and experience life. I’ll take that every time. I love my spirituality and spiritual connection. It brings me great joy and meaning. It is a path I encourage everybody to follow, wherever it may take them. Each of our paths are different and I hope you follow yours. I’m going to keep following mine.
One of my favorite books by my spiritual advisor for the past 27 years

Speaking of friends, one of mine recently turned 24 (as you can tell, I have friends in their 20s and in their 80s, I’m an equal opportunity friend when it comes to age). For her 24th birthday, she listed 24 life lessons she has learned. It is an impressive list and one I look at very differently now than I would have at 24. It’s amazing how life experiences change the way we see the same exact things. Here is her list:

 1.⁠ ⁠Life means nothing without the people you love around you
 2.⁠ ⁠Chase your dreams everyday – life is not to be lived waiting around
 3.⁠ ⁠Purpose mixed with passion will take you places in life
 4.⁠ ⁠It’s okay to f*** up – we all do – that’s how you learn
 5.⁠ ⁠Not everything is for everyone, and that’s okay
 6.⁠ ⁠Workout before making a big or impulsive decision – you will always have a different perspective after
 7.⁠ ⁠If you don’t ask, you’ll never get
 8.⁠ ⁠Be comfortable being uncomfortable – that’s where growth happens
 9.⁠ ⁠Everyone has their own way of doing things, there is no 1 way to do it, find your way to make it work
10.⁠ ⁠Learn something from everyone you speak too – advice is not always meant to tell you what to do, sometimes it’s to show you what not to do
11.⁠ ⁠Two things can be true at the same time….
12.⁠ ⁠Happiness comes from doing things that you joy
13.⁠ ⁠Dare to be wrong in life, it’s always a lesson and a good story
14.⁠ ⁠If something won’t matter in 5 hours, 5 days or even 5 years – everything will be alright
15.⁠ ⁠You create memories everyday, make them memories with people you love
16.⁠ ⁠Being comfortable with yourself is the biggest gift you can give yourself
17.⁠ ⁠Ask questions always – don’t be afraid to feel stupid
18.⁠ ⁠People want to be around people doing good things for this world and making a difference
19.⁠ ⁠Life is not about you – it’s about the people you touch
20.⁠ ⁠You never know how something may affect someone else, good or bad
21.⁠ ⁠Do the difficult thing. Say the hard thing… whats the worst that can happen?
22.⁠ ⁠You don’t owe anyone your time or energy – it’s precious, hold on to it tight
23.⁠ ⁠Growth is a process – be patient with yourself – it doesn’t happen over night
24.⁠ ⁠Appreciate the moment because you will look back at the ‘good ole times’ and miss being here

As we move into 2025, I encourage you to take a look at your life. Ask yourself what really matters to you. Then act on what matters to you. Society tells us all sorts of things are ‘supposed’ to matter. The reality is that the only things that matter are those you decide are important to you. Take ownership and take action. Nobody is responsible for your life and your choices other than you.

Friends

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

What exactly are friends? It’s a term we use a lot, often when we mean acquaintences. What does it mean to be a friend? What does it mean to have friends? As a kid, friends meant popularity. Friends meant a good social life. Friends meant status. The older I get, the more that definition changes. As a kid, the more friends you had, the better. As an adult, having friends is an obligation, one that requires work and effort, and I no longer want more, I want better. A good friend of mine used to say that since he was in his late 50s (he’s now 73), he didn’t need any more friends, so he was just going to say things. To be his friend meant something and still does. That’s how I feel.

The past few days are good examples of what friendship really means to me. Let me explain. On Sunday, I got a call from a friend out of the blue. He told me about a friend of his in Baltimore who is on the autism spectrum. His friend has a job (he is a phlebotomist) but is struggling to make ends meet and needs some help. He has a cash problem and needs help accessing a kosher food bank. I jumped into action, reaching out to friends in Baltimore who were able to connect him with the Kosher Food Bank at Jewish Family Services in Baltimore, a Chabad program in Baltimore that helps Jews in need, a synagogue that has a program to help those in need, and a social service program that can help him as well. Within 15 minutes, we had assembled the information needed to help his friend.

My friend kept thanking me and I kept telling him that he didn’t need to. I told him, “This is what we do.” and I meant it. When a friend reaches out for help, we jump into action. We don’t sit back passively, we jump in actively. Thanks aren’t needed between real friends.

Another friend called me on Sunday because we hadn’t spoken in too long. We chatted about life and then began to discuss career choices, options, where he is in his career and where he wants to be. We talked about how to get there and steps he needs to take now so that in a year or two, he will be ready to move out of what he is currently doing and begin the adventure he wants to undertake. We talked about a potential client of mine that is doing something really amazing (more will be revealed in future posts) and how exciting it is and if there is a way for him to join in with it. I made the time to talk with him because he matters to me. He made the effort to call me because I matter to him. Friendship takes work and we both value each other and spent the time that shows it.

Today a friend called me to share some personal news. We have been talking on the phone but haven’t seen each other in over a month due to busy schedules and some health issues he has. He said, “I wanted to share this with you because I consider you a very close friend.” I made sure he knew that I also consider him a very close friend. He took a risk confiding in me. I took on the responsibility of not just keeping his confidence but also of being there for him. I shared some of my own personal health issues with him as he has shared his with me. We are there to support each other. That’s what friends do – they are there for each other all the time, not just when it is convenient.

I have three friends that I talk with almost every single day. We make time for each other via text or phone. We check in on each other, ask about our days, how life is going, share our challenges. It is just a part of what I do every day. It is a part of what they do every day. Friendship is a two way street and takes effort, takes work. Friendship is not a popularity contest like in high school or college. It isn’t who has the most or who has the coolest friends. It’s not about name dropping or being seen with a certain crowd. Friendship is about much more than that.

A friend of mine has been struggling finding a job. She’s been looking for a long time and has been frustated with interviews that offer way too low compensation, interviewers who don’t follow up, who don’t close the loop, and jobs with 20-30 applicants in the first days of them being posted. I’ve been working to help her find the right type of opportunity and shared different options with her through this search. About a month ago, I saw a friend of mine was hiring for somebody in her field and let her know. I reached out to my friend to let me know she was applying and asking to give her special attention (not to hire her, that’s his decision, but to really look at her candidacy). Last week she let me know that she got the job! I was so happy for her. Then my friend who was hiring reached out to let me know he was hiring her. I was so happy for him. In this case, friendship because a three way street with everybody winning.

As I am writing this, I scrolled through Facebook and saw a shocking post. An old friend from my BBYO (Jewish youth group) days died today. We were friendly rather than friends. We had lost touch for decades before connecting again on Facebook in the past few years. I knew he had some ups and downs but didn’t realize his health condition until reading the notice of his passing. It makes me sad to know that I missed out. That’s the other lesson of friendship. If you don’t work at it, if you don’t put in the effort, you miss out.

I had a life changing experience in October 2023. During this time, I learned who my real friends were. I saw those who showed up and those who didn’t. I saw those who stood by me and those who didn’t. I was surprised by people in both groups. It was an incredible life lesson. When a friend had a similar experience just over a month ago, I made sure to reach out. I made sure that he knew I was in his corner and he wasn’t alone. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to show up and real friends do it. Today I am gratetful that I learned who my real friends are and who showed up. I’m also grateful to know who didn’t show up. Life is too short to waste time on people. I want to invest my time and energy on people that I value and that value me.

I consider myself very lucky. I have a true best friend. I have a friend so close that he is like my brother. I have two friends that I consider sisters. I have a close friend that is my mentor. I have a group of friends that I would do anything for and they would do anything for me. That’s special. It doesn’t have to be unique. It is all about the effort you put into friendship. If you want acquaintances that you call friends, you don’t have to do much. If you want true friends, you have to do a lot. I choose to do a lot. And boy do I get a lot in return.

Pink inspires – a true Jewish message in her show

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Last night I went to see the Jewish musical star Pink in concert. I bought tickets a long time ago and heard that she was a tremendous performer. I like her music, although I’m far from a rabid fan. With Sheryl Crow opening, I was excited for the show.

Sheryl Crow was awesome. She brought me back in time with her classic songs and while the show was in a stadium, I wish she was in a smokey crowded bar where you could really feel and appreciate her music. I enjoyed her performance as it brought me back to simpler times.

Then it was time for the main event. Pink was electric from the very beginning. Her energy and joy filled the stadium with positivity. Since October 7th, over a year ago, I’ve had a hard time truly letting go and embracing joy. Last night, Pink unlocked that for me. What a performer. She exuded happiness. Love flew from every song and every time she talked to us. Her very first song set the tone – watch and listen as she bounces with joy and flies effortlessly.

Her flying early in the show was beautiful. The music was great and she added elegance and beauty. The past 12 plus months have been filled with so much ugliness. October 7th and those images never leave me. I’m glad that I saw the Hamas 47 minute video but it altered who I am. I am glad that I have been to the Nova site twice, heard from survivors, and those involved with rescuing people that day, but the horror is now a part of me. I’m glad that I went to Kfar Aza twice, heard the stories from the IDF and from somebody who was there that day and recently returned to their home. I’m glad that I saw what the Hamas terrorists did but those images are burned into my soul. Last night, as she performed, it was the first time since October 7th that the only thing in my mind, heart, and soul was beauty and love.

Her cover of Pat Benatar’s “Heartbreaker” got us up, singing and dancing. I was transformed to the early 80s and my high school days. To simpler times. A time when hate didn’t dominate the world. When we didn’t see daily antisemitism and Jew hatred. Violence against Jews wasn’t happening on the streets of Amsterdam, Paris, New York, Chicago, and so many other places. I thought of my diverse group of friends from that time – we didn’t think about identity politics or our differences – we focused on the people we liked. So many of them are still friends today. Jewish, Christian, Mormon, Black, White, Gay, and Straight. We played sports together, went to parties together, hung out on the streets together, went to concerts together, and got in trouble together. I miss the simpleness of those times. The moral clarity that existed for us in high school and then college. Enjoy the song and performance, I sure did.

I wish that I recorded Pink as she talked to, and about, her mother and their relationship. Her mom was in the front row and it was a classic Jewish mother moment. We all laughed but I think those of us who have Jewish mothers laughed a little deeper as she talked about her mom telling her what to do and then watching her mom actually do it from the audience and Pink listening to her and then begging her to stop. When she talked about her late father, it hit home deeply for me. It brought me right back to my dad and the relationship we had. It made me sad and joyous at the same time. While I don’t know her, never met her, and have no personal relationship, I know we bonded over the loss of our fathers. Then she brought her daughter on stage to sing part of a song with her. What a highlight. I enjoyed watching Pink’s face more than anything else as she listened and watched her daughter Willow sing. As a father, there is nothing better than seeing my children succeed. Their joy and success is so much better and more powerful than my own. I could see that on Pink’s face and it reinforced my committment to do whatever I can to make this world a better place for my children and eventual grandchildren. There is no excuse for us to sit back and not do the work. Not put in the effort. We are not responsible for the outcome but we are each responsible for doing the work. That’s a summary from Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of our Fathers. It shows that anybody can learn and even teach a little Torah.

The show ended with an incredible encore where Pink literally flies across the stadium. The freedom in the song and as she flies is so clear. It’s a reminder that we control how we feel. We control whether we want to be tied down, locked up, bitter and angry, or if we want to be free, flying through the air, looking for the beauty and enjoying what the world offers. It takes effort to do it, but the power to live meaningful and beautiful lives is entirely in our own hands. The question is are you willing to do the work? Watch Pink fly and sing – see and feel the freedom. As the movie version of Wicked is about to be released, watch Pink defy gravity. Sorry I lose her for a bit but you get to see the audience during that time and feel the energy.

Pink inspired me last night It shows that you don’t have to truly be a torah scholar to inspire people with Torah values. It also shows how learning some Torah can help you see Jewish wisdom in every day life.

My friend Yocheved Ruttenberg is another real example of this. Founder of the Sword of Iron Facebook group with 40,000 members all interested in volunteering in Israel, her story as a 23 year old changing the world is inspiring. She recently won the Z3 Bridge Builder award. Her speech highlights her story and what she has done and what she is doing. It is inspiring.

The joy Yocheved brings to the 40,000 members of Sword of Iron is incredible. I read the posts of people volunteering in Israel and sharing their pictures doing it. I read about all the amazing volunteer opportunities and am astounded and inspired. It makes me wish I was independently wealthy and could just go and volunteer full time in Israel. From picking fruits and vegetables to helping rebuild in the south. Preparing BBQs for IDF soldiers to making tzizit for them. Helping those in need in every aspect of society. All done with gratitude. All done with grace. All done from the heart. All for our Jewish brothers and sisters who are fighting for the survival of the Jewish people. If you really want to experience the joy of Yocheved and her work, watch this Shabbat Shalom video. I can’t get enough of it. I dare you to only watch it once. It’s infectious.

There are so many ways to change the world and the world needs changing. You can do it through music. You can do it with volunteering. You can do it by helping others. A friend of mine who made aliyah years ago reached out today. He and his family will be in the United States to get away for a much needed respite in December. They will be in Florida for part of their trip and like my family, love sports and wanted to go to the Orlando Magic game for Jewish Heritage Night. They were having trouble getting tickets and asked for my help. Quickly, I was able to secure tickets for him in the block at an affordable price. I then reached out to a friend to see if they can help with some VIP experiences for their children. After the year that they have experienced, the least I can do is try to help them have some peace and joy. Just like Pink gave me last night, I can help them have a few moments of joy where they aren’t worried about sirens, they aren’t worried about rockets, they aren’t worried about friends in the IDF and if they are alive or not. They can be kids, enjoying a basketball game and maybe getting some special access. It didn’t take much for me to help. A little research. A few text messages. It did take effort but not much. Often times we don’t realize how easy it can be to make a difference in the lives of others. How we can give a little bit of life and levity to those in need.

I work with Dror Israel, and amazing organization that helps children with schools, youth groups, and summer camps. Their ZIONIST youth movement is in all the Druze villages and in 55 Arab villages with more than 20,000 Arabs involved. They do amazing work. In this same context, they are creating restorative trips for children and families to get away from areas with sirens, to go to Mitzpe Ramon (Israel’s version of the Grand Canyon). This short video highlights what they do and what the effect and impact is. They are changing the lives of these children and families and changing the world.

We have the ability to change the world with our own actions. Pink gave me a few hours of pure joy like I haven’t had since October 7th. Here is the question I pose to you. What are you going to do to find your joy. To find your stress relief? And what are you going to do to help others who are in need and can’t do it themselves? We all have that responsibility. It is Kol Yisrael Arevim zeh Bazeh (All of Israel is responsible for each other). Jewish or not, we can be inspired by this lesson. Each of us can change the world, one person at a time, one action at a time.

Let’s all choose to be like Pink, who electrified and inspired 75,000 people last night. Who sent a message of love, inclusion, support, family, and values. The movie The Waterboy puts it best. You can do it!

Love, Kindness, Goodness and Friendship – An Inspiration

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

This has been a challenging week for many people. For some it’s the results of the election. For others it is the pogrom in Amsterdam and watching Jew hatred go to another level. Today is the 400th day of the hostages being in captivity. Two Jewish students were assaulted at Chicago’s DePaul University for the crime of being Jewish. In the past months, Jewish students have been attacked at The University of Michigan and The University of Pittsburgh for being Jewish. Rockets continue to be fired every single day by Hezbollah from Lebanon into Israel.

We live in arguably the most divided time in the United States since the Civil War. The world may not be this divided since World War II. It is easy to feel sad and depressed. It is easy to lose hope and think the world is ending. Concern over the next few weeks, months, and years is a common refrain heard regularly.

And yet there are examples of hope all around us. There are examples that show when we decide to be the answer, the solution; when we decide that we are no longer going to wait for others to solve the problem and challengs of the world, that we create change.

We are a college football family. For years, our Shabbat has involved being together as a family, either watching college football on TV or in person. When our older son was playing High School football, Shabbat dinner was at the football field. When he was coaching High School football, we spent Friday nights watching him coach and as he coaches college football, we are watching on TV or in person once again. This morning, as I was watching ESPN Gameday, a beautiful and inspiring story was shown.

Malachi Moore, a star player for Alabama, befriend a young girl, Henrietta Murray, who had a terminal illness. Their relationship and his relationship with her family, is a beautiful thing to see. Once again, it shows the power one person has to change the world. Malachi changed not only Henrietta’s life but the lives of her parents and his own life. Listening to him talk about what his friendship with Henrietta not only meant to him but how it changed his outlook on life is powerful. We all have th ability to be like Malachi. We all have the power to change lives with our actions. Watch, listen, and feel the love.

Watch Malachi and Henrietta’s story

Then there is the story of Melhem Asad. A Druze fan of Maccabi Tel Aviv football/soccer, Melhaem was at the game in Amsterdam. As he watched the attacks begin against Israelis by criminal antisemites with law enforcement not helping, he thought quickly on his feet. As an Arab speaker, he ran to groups of Israeli fans, speaking loudly in Arabic to them, creating the impression that everyone in his group was Arab rather than Jewish. By doing this, he successfully misled the attackers, who left these groups alone as they searched for Jews to attack. He didn’t just do this once or two. He spent several hours using this strategy to shield Jewish Maccabi fans who were under attack in restaurants and bars, unable to safely reach their hotels. When people call Israel an apartheid state, when people say that Jews, Arabs, and Druze can never get along and never exist together, this is more proof that these are lies.

Thank you Melhem for showing that humanity isn’t about being Jewish, Druze, or Arab. It’s about being a good person, caring about your fellow human beings, and combatting hate. You are an example to everybody of what the future can look like when we choose to take action ourselves. When we don’t wait for somebody else to do something. When we don’t tolerate the status quo and do what we can to make the world a better place.

Melhem Asad, who’s quick thinking and speaking Arabic saved many from being beaten.

Kirk Herbstreit is the cornerstone of ESPN Gameday. He is well known, popular, and one of the people fans want to hear from. Recently, the focus has been on the relationship with him and his dog Ben. Ben became a travel companion for Herbstreit, with him on the road, on the field, and on the set. In many ways, he became America’s dog. Recently he got very ill and in the past week he died. His loss was felt not just by Kirk but by fans and dog lovers all over the world. ESPN chose to show a tribute to Ben today. It was beautiful and powerful. It shows the power of love. I have always felt that dogs are pure love in a living being. We lost our beautiful chocolate lab, Bella, earlier this year. I miss her every day, and ask Kirk publicly mourned the loss of Ben, I could relate and understand the loss.

Our sweet girl Bella, enjoying the back yard, the sun, the grass, and being with me.

We can have this type of unconditional love with a dog. Why can’t we have this type of love for our fellow human beings? Before the election and after the election, the vitriol expressed against those supporting a different candidate was horrific. You might be branded a racist, a bigot, a Jew hater, an antisemite, an islamaphobe, transphobic, anti-LGBTQ, anti-woman, anti-American, and many other terms. It’s ok to to support different candidates for many reasons. Understanding why people make the choices they make gives us a chance to build bridges, work together towards the type of society we want to live in. Most people don’t support every position that the candidate they supported stood for. Yet we simplify people and live in hatred and disgust rather than love and understanding.

Dogs aren’t like that. They love you no matter what. It is as if they understand that people are fallible and love is what helps us deal with our imperfections. Dogs really are perfect love. I miss having Bella climb in my lap to cuddle no matter what was going on. I miss her giving me kisses and laying down at my feet to be close to me. I miss taking her out to the backyard to walk and lay in the grass, appreciating the beauty of nature, the warmth of the sun, the smell of fresh air.

It’s pure love. Watch the tribute to Ben and let Ben inspire all of us to treat people better.

Speaking of Kirk Herbstreit, every week when I watch him on ESPN Gameday with Lee Corso, their interaction is one of the sweetest things in today’s world. It’s clear that they have a father-son relationship. As Corso has gotten older, Herbstreit openly provides him with more help and more support. It is a beautiful thing to watch.

Today, it was the opposite. As the tribute to Kirk’s dog, Ben, began, he was visibly crying and emotional. You could feel his pain and loss. And who was there to support him? Lee Corso of course. It was a public display of love and support. No worries about what it looked like or what anybody though. It was two close friends being together, even with millions of people watching.

We can use the example of the relationship between these two men as a teaching lesson for each of us. Every day we have an opportunity to be there for somebody else. Every day we have a chance to build these special relationships. I am lucky. Along with my brother and sister, I have two people that I consider brothers and two people I consider sisters. That’s how close we are. While biologically I have two siblings, in reality I have six. I choose to invest in relationships with people. The quality of friends is so much more important than the quantity. Many years ago, an older friend of mine (he was my age now back then) used to say, “I don’t need more friends at my age.” I heard him but didn’t really understand at that time. Now I do.

The example of Corso and Herbstreit shows us what we can do for other people if we want. It shows how we change the world, one person, one relationship at a time. It takes so little to improve the day and the life of another person. It also can take so little to suck the energy out of somebody’s day, making their life more challenging. The question is which type of person do you want to be. Do you want to be somebody who spends every day working to make the world a little bit better or do you want to live in negativity and make the world a little bit worse every day?

I choose to change the world every day with kindness.

How my dog Bella (z’l) is like Israel

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Our 13 ½ year old chocolate labrador, Bella, crossed the Rainbow Bridge last month.  We got her as a Hanukkah present on December 1, 2010, and she has been a constant in our life and our family ever since.  She taught us about unconditional love, how important playing is in life, the joy of treats, and the joy in just being together. 

Bella as a puppy when we first got her and took her for her first checkup

Almost exactly a year ago, she almost died.  While being boarded, something we hadn’t done in many years, she developed 3 major infections and had 3 major open wounds.  She couldn’t eat, walk, or do much of anything.  We were preparing to say goodbye and tried one last Hail Mary attempt before saying goodbye.  That last attempt miraculously worked and for the last year Bella fought every day to be with us and to do whatever she could do.  She went on walks.  She climbed the stairs.  She did some physical therapy in a swimming pool.  She would climb up in my lap.

The last few months she would come upstairs at 2 am to wake me up and make me go downstairs and sleep on the couch next to her.  She liked sleeping on the travertine tile floor but didn’t want to be alone, so it was my job to be close to her.  Most of the time, as soon as we got downstairs together, she would lay on the floor and be content and sleep through the night.  Every so often she would let me spend the entire night sleeping in bed, but it was a rare occurrence.  I didn’t mind (much) because I knew how important it was to her.

Bella reminds me in many ways of Israel.  Israel is 76 years old.  When the US was 76, we hadn’t even fought the civil war yet.  Israel is still a baby, or maybe a middle school student.  It is start-up nation.  It is innovation.  We joke that the national bird is the crane because when you are in Tel Aviv or Jerusalem, there is so much construction that you see so many cranes all over the place.  My relationship with Israel is similar to the relationship I had with Bella.  It is one of mutual love.  It is one where we learn from each other every day.  It is unconditional love.  It doesn’t mean that I was happy when Bella stole the challah or that I am happy when the Israeli government makes what I consider to be a bad decision.  It does mean that I love Bella no matter what she does, just like I love Israel even when the government or some of the people make very poor decisions.

My relationship with Bella started the day I picked her up, December 1, 2010, and brought her to our home and our family.  While she is physically gone, it is a relationship that will last forever.  My relationship with Israel began as a child, shaped by my grandparents and parents.  It deepened when I made my first trip there in the summer of 1989 and has continued to grow on each of my 21 subsequent trips since that first one.  Just as my relationship with Bella deepened as she got older and we spent more time together, so has my relationship with Israel.  Each visit takes me deeper into my own Jewish identity.  Each visit helps me explore who I am, who I want to be, what my values are, how do I want to spend my life, and answer the question I have previously written about, “What would I die for?”, which tells me what I am living for. 

Israel is not a tourist attraction that you go to once and that’s it.  It is a fine wine.  A good bourbon or scotch.  Incredible music.  It is to be savored.  That first taste is exactly that, a taste.  It’s wonderful and exciting and exhilarating.  Floating in the Dead Sea, climbing Masada (or taking the cable car), going to the Kotel, touring the old city of Jerusalem.  Exploring Tzfat and spirituality.  Visiting the Kinneret.  Rafting down the Jordan river.  Hearing the Muslim call to prayer from the minarets, as you are in the middle Jewish or Christian prayers. Exploring Haifa and the Baha’i Gardens.  I could go on and on and on.  Yet it’s just a taste.  A first sip.  Your toe in the ocean.  There is so much to explore, so much to invest, so much to learn and grow.  Just like every relationship.  Just like my relationship with Bella.  The day I brought her home, I was in love.  She was adorable and cute and fun.  The day before she died, we were sitting outside together, she way laying the grass, happy as can be, a totally different and deeper experience.  My first trip to Israel was exciting and exhilarating.  I soaked it all up and have vivid memories from that trip, 35 years ago.  My trip to Israel last month was also powerful and deep in a very different and more mature way.  My trip this month was a deeper exploration into what Israel stands for, what she means, what her values are, and my personal connection that as a Jew, started when Abraham listened when he was told by God to “Lech Lecha”, go forth, and was guided to this land.  Just like sitting outside with Bella during her last weeks as she laid in the grass instead of playing frisbee or chasing a ball, it was even more special despite the vast difference.

Bella in the yard just before she died. She was happy until the end and gave us love her entire life

As we toured the old city of Jerusalem this time, our guide challenged us to view it very differently.  He urged us not to see buildings, walls, rocks, and rubble.  Instead, take a look at what happened. What are the stories?  What does it all mean?  When he took us through the tunnels under the Kotel, he posed the same questions.  It was a remarkable two tours with Eytan.  He spent three hours each time with us, pushing us to keep moving with him as he made the old city come alive in a completely different way.  I felt like I was there in the 1948 war for the old city.  My love for Jerusalem was captured during the tour as I asked myself what I would do to defend Jerusalem.  The old city will never be the same for me as I turn every corner and there is deeper meaning.

As he took us through the City of David, we stood where King David’s palace likely was.  There is enough archeological evidence to show this is where it would have been.  You could imagine what happened in that area.  The poetry of King David being written.  The decisions he had to make, both good and poor.  As we moved to the current excavation site, you could imagine the city that once existed there, more than 3,000 years ago.  The vibrancy of the people.  We walked through the drainage system, designed to capture the rainwater from the mountain to bring fresh water to the cisterns of the city below.  The system was small and narrow.  I couldn’t stand straight up and banged my head a few times.  It felt tight and constricted.  All I could think of as I walked through this tight place was the hostages and how they live like this every day.  A 3,000-year-old water collection system teaching me about life today.  I’m not sure there is anything more Jewish than that. 

I miss Bella every day, just like I miss Israel.  There are a few images that will stay with me from this trip for a long time. 

Our hotel is where the residents of Shlomi, a town in the north of Israel, have lived since October 7th.  They are right on the border with Lebanon and were bombed by Hezbollah and had to evacuate.  Throughout the hotel, we had families living their lives.  Kids running around, riding tricycles, women doing laundry at the specially installed washing machines because this was now their home.  A Gan (kindergarten) still functioning as the other children are now enrolled in local schools.  The hotel lobby had become a community center. Shlomi is a religious community and as we prayed each day, said the Birkat Hamazon (grace after meals), and learned Torah, they watched.  They came up to one of our leaders and spoke to him in Hebrew, telling him how much we inspired them.  How proud they were because of what we were doing and because we were there.  Imagine being forced from your home and living far away in a single hotel room with your 5-7 children for over 9 months.  And young people, choosing to come to Israel during the war, doing Jewish traditions, inspire you. 

You see how close Shlomi is to the Lebanese border

I watched as their Gan began the day.  The children were adorable.  The teacher filled with excitement and passion.  The joy in the room at the hotel was palpable.  These 4-year-old children who have had their life turned upside down had normalcy.  I was inspired.  I watched and smiled.  Life doesn’t just go on.  It flourishes.  That is Israel.  Even in the worst of times, there is joy and plans for a better future.  As we visited the Kotel before leaving Israel, what did we see?  Another group of children, dressed in costume, learning at the Kotel. It was a beautiful site. No matter how much people try to kill us, try to villify us, try to isolate us, try to mock us, try to eliminate us, we will not give up. We will not forget who we are.

The joy of being at Machane Yehuda in the day, as a bustling shuk (market) and then in the evening as a crazy fun group of nightclubs is amazing. The energy, the passion for Judaism and Israel expressed at both times is amazing. When in Jerusalem at the shuk, the singing is loud, the passion is raised, and there is a strong and powerful pride in being Jewish. Why can’t we keep this when we return? Why do our voices suddenly get quiet? As you watch this video of the shuk, feel the energy, the passion, the joy and make sure you bring it with you every day when it comes to being Jewish.

Can we always sing Am Yisrael Chai with this passion and love?

I have been to Israel 22 times now and will be back at least once more this calendar year. As I walked and talked with one of our participants who was on her first trip to Israel, she talked about how surprised she was at how she felt in Israel. She talked about how much she wished we had an extra week or two on the trip, with the group, to continue learning and having the experience. She talked about how much she wanted to come back and maybe next summer would work. Once you have been to Israel this will make sense to you. Until you go, you can’t really understand it. It brings up the existential question, how to do we maintain this connection to Judaism, to our history, to our family and community, and to God, when we aren’t in Israel? How do we bring it home with us so that it lives within us all the time, not just when we are in Israel?

Many people and organizations have tried to answer this question over the years, some with some success, others not so much. What I do know is that as long as those of us who aren’t super religious can inspire the religous people of Shlomi with our effort, we are doing ok. As long as we continue to make the effort to do it, we are having success. It truly is a journey, not a destination.

P.S. – Here is a little something to put a smile on your face – the Jerusalem Youth Choir with Arab and Jewish youth singing on America’s Got Talent.

The path back from the cliff isn’t easy but it is there. Will you take it?

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I boarded the flight to Israel today around 11 am.  We took off at noon for the 11 ½ hour flight from Miami to Tel Aviv.  This is my least favorite flight to take as it’s very difficult to sleep during the daytime after a good night’s sleep and when we land, it’s the start of a brand-new day.  It’s great to land and have the full day in front of you, but when you are tired and it feels like midnight, it’s not always so easy.

On the flight, I chose to get the internet package. Knowing it was daytime and I’d be awake for most, if not all, of the flight, I thought it was a good investment.  As I spent the flight checking emails and responding to texts, I realized that when we landed in Israel, not only were we going to start by volunteering to help by picking fruits and vegetables, but we were also going to spend the afternoon at the Kotel, the Western Wall, one of the holiest sites in Judaism.  One of the traditions is to write prayers and put them into the wall so they are close to God.  Since I had such a long flight, I went on social media and offered to put prayers into the Kotel for whoever wanted one.  All they had to do was message me what they wanted the prayer to be.

I didn’t think much of it and expected a few people would respond.  I was overwhelmed as the requests kept coming in.  Without sharing any specific people or what they requested, I will say that a great deal of them were related to health issues.  It is a reminder that there is a reason the saying is, “healthy, wealthy, and wise.”  Health comes first.  Without health, we have nothing.  There were requests for a better world.  Requests to help loved ones who are struggling.  Nobody was asking for the ‘wealthy and wise’ part of the saying.  All the requests were truly selfless.  A few people thanked me for offering to do this for them.  I often take going to Israel for granted.  This is my 22nd trip and the 23rd is already on the books this year.  Israel is truly a core part of my soul and my personal identity.  Today, on the flight, these requests were a reminder of how lucky I am to go to Israel once, let alone 22 times. 

These requests also got me thinking about the world we live in today and the world it appears most people want to live in.  They are not the same place.  The world we live in is filled with selfishness.  It is filled with ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’.  It is filled with people who desperately want to obtain and keep power.  It is a world filled with ego.  When half of the United States hates the other half, we are not living in the world that most people want. 

These requests made me think about the world we would like to live in.  A world where we cared about other people.  A world in which doing the greatest good really mattered, whether it helped the individual or not.  A world filled with love, not hate.  A world in which we were more concerned with giving than getting, with doing rather than taking.  What would it look like to live in a world where kindness was the most valued commodity? 

Imagine a world where we didn’t hate but rather worked to understand each other.  Our differences were celebrated rather than used to create a reason to hate.  As I watched this video, I couldn’t help smiling when he said, “Babka is my middle name” or when he called rugelach, “roo ga losch”.  He is filled with curiosity.  He wants to explore a different culture. I want to watch him try gefilte fish, kasha varnishkas, shakshuka, cholent, and so much more.  How much fun would it be to watch people of different cultures explore the unique foods of another culture?

On this trip to Israel, we have 12 young adults.  6 males, 6 females.  Twelve very different people, who come from different backgrounds, with one similarity. As I met most of them for the first time, I loved their differences.  I can’t wait to spend two weeks exploring a post October 7th Israel, leadership, and Jewish thought with them.  I can’t wait to hear their thoughts, their impressions, their opinions, and their ideas.  As I write that, I can’t imagine our world leaders saying the same thing about each other.  I can’t imagine our country’s leaders saying that about each other.  It shows me that there is a path back from the cliff we are on, if we want to take it.  It’s not easy.  It’s not comfortable. 

A perfect example of how close to the cliff we are is the text exchange between Deans at Columbia University that was released by the Department of Education.  The texts are bigoted.  They are hateful.  They are unbecoming a leader and an educational institution.  Three of the Deans are currently suspended pending an investigation while one, Joseph Sorett, has falled on his sword and not only won’t be suspended, he is guaranteed to keep his job.  Normally, with evidence this damning, you could count on them getting fired.  Yet in the world we live in, with what we have seen in the past 3 months on college campuses, there remains a good chance they will all return to their positions with merely a slap on the wrist and by making an insincere apology.  As you read the text thread, your blood may boil the way mine did.

Instead of approaching this with empathy, care and concern for Jewish students at Columbia, these four Deans, Susan Chang-Kim, the Vice Dean and Chief Administrative Officer, Matthew Patashnick, the Associate Dean for Student and Family Support, Cristen Kromm, the Dean of Undergraduate Student Life, and Josef Sorett, the Dean of Columbia College, utilize stereotypes, antisemitism, hate, racism, and everything they are supposed to fight against to mock Jewish students, Jewish professional leadership, and antisemitism. Their titles show how powerful the positions they hold are.

The 3 Columbia Deans that have been suspended

We all have a choice. Do we want to be like the Deans of Columbia University or do we want to work to change the world, seek to understand rather than to be understood, strive for the best for humanity, be kind, and treat others with dignity and respect. It seems like a simple choice, however in the world we currently live, it isn’t.

I choose the latter. I choose to do things like meet with my Palestinian friend in East Jerusalem to have meaningful and respectful discussions. I choose to listen and learn both with and from the twelve young adults on this trip. I choose the harder path, one that leads to a better world but isn’t easy. When I go to the Kotel later today with all these notes from other people, detailing their prayers, their hopes, their dreams, I choose to be an instrument of good, placing each one carefully into the wall. With each one I place, I will ask God to grant them their prayer, their wish.

We are not stuck in the world we live in. We have the ability to change the world one step at a time, one day at a time, one action at a time. I hope you will join me.