Today was both a day I had dreaded for a long time and one I had happily anticipated for a long time. Talk about a conflict of emotions. Today, the bodies of Shiri, Ariel and Kfir Bibas along with the body of Oded Lifshitz were returned to Israel from Gaza by Hamas. Since October 7th, along with so many others, we hoped and prayed for the return of the entire Bibas family. We were afraid that they would not return home alive. When Yarden was returned a few weeks ago, we hoped the family would be reunited and we would get to experience that joy. Today, we officially knew, that joy would never be realized.
More than not realized, the way Hamas returned the coffins of these children they attacked, kidnapped, held hostage, and murdered was disgusting. The way they paraded the coffins of Oded and Shiri through the streets of Gaza was horrifying. Just when you think they can’t sink lower, can’t show the world just how evil they are even clearer, they do.
Hamas locked the coffins and didn’t give Israel the keys. They put propoganda inside the coffins. They put pictures of other hostages on the exterior of the coffins. They used a full size for both Ariel and Kfir so the world wouldn’t see how they murdered the innocent children that they kidnapped and took hostage.
I know I am not alone in grieving the loss of the Bibas children and their mother. Of feeling the unimaginable pain of Yarden. The Bibas family loved Batman and the images of them wearing Batman costumes and shirts and pajamas are iconic. The piece below captures our loss powerfully as Batman himself grieves as the three orange stars in the sky remind us what we have lost.
A cartoon by Israeli artist Adva Sanot – The Bibas family loved Batman. This cuts deep.
There were busses bombed in Bat Yam today and more bombs found on busses in Tel Aviv that were set to go off tomorrow morning. It won’t get the worldwide attention that it should because the target of the bombs were Jews. The fact that the innocent Palestinians were the ones who planted the bombs, who planned to murder as many innocent people as they could with these explosives will be lost in the media.
The UN continues to brag about how much food and medical attention they have provided in Gaza while also claiming famine and no medical supplies or facilities existing. They can blatently lie because the world allows them to do so. Nobody calls them out on the lies, they instead use them to create more Jew hatred. The other day, comedian Jerry Seinfeld said what so many people are feeling. What so many people have been waiting to hear.
Today was also a day I have been anticipating. This past summer, we lost our 13 1/2 year old chocolate lab, Bella. She brought us so much joy it was very hard to say goodbye. Our house hasn’t been the same since. A couple of months ago, we decided to get another lab. The loss of Bella was so hard on all of us, we decided to get a puppy so we would have her for as long as possible. Today was pick-up day for our new puppy. Today is the day that she came home to live with us. Since we knew we were getting her, she was a part of our family. We visited her about 10 days ago and each day since was another day closer to having her. I got up early, drove to Dunellen to the breeder, and picked her up. She sat on the front seat next to me, chewing on my hand. My thumb was her favorite. Partway home, she decided to climb into my lap, lay her head in the crook of my right arm, and take a little nap. The drive home was special as we bonded.
Charlotte (Charlie) on the way home in the car, in the house, and out in the yard.
The love and joy I felt is indescribable. I struggled with the knowledge that they bodies of Bibas family were being identified at the same time that I was filled with joy as we added Charlotte (Charlie) to our family. Having her home, exploring our house, playing in our yard, bouncing around filled with life, was such incredible light that my heart was full while also being broken.
Watching this little girl hop and run and chase the tennis ball warmed my heart.
I find myself focused today on the power of evil and how it robs us of joy. It robs us of the wonder of life. Hamas is evil. Full stop. They have no redeeming quality. They have no reason to exist other than hate. And they need to be eliminated, not just as an idea but all those who participated in the horror of October 7th, the taking of hostages, the keeping of the hostages, the torturing of hostages. I don’t care if they put on a journalist t-shirt or have a medical degree. They are not journalists or doctors. They are not teachers or leaders of civil society. They are terrorists. They are evil. And they must be eliminated.
In May and July of 2024, I visited the Nova music festival site. It was painful both times. I had a chance to join with others to sing, to bring music back to this place that was ripped apart on October 7th. Both times I got to hear the story of Rami Davidian, a farmer at a local Moshav, who saved 750 people from the Nova site on October 7th. I was able to video record his talk in July. Near the end, he talks about what he did on October 8th, when he returned to the site to provide some dignity to the dead. As he talks about the women who were tied to the trees that he cut down, closed their legs and covered them for dignity as he said the Shema over their bodies, you can see the pain in his eyes. The emotion gets to him more about October 8th and what those women endured before being murdered than anything on October 7th. As he looked at the trees, I could see him still seeing the women tied to those trees. It’s something I will never forget and I can’t imagine how he will live with those memories. Stolen joy. Stolen life. Stolen dignity.
I know that I have changed since October 7th. And I know I have changed with the events after October 7th. And I know that the murder of Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas have changed me again. I also know that adding Charlotte (Charlie) to our family has changed me in a different way. I won’t let the Jew haters or the terrorists change who I am as a human being. I also won’t let them win. The same way Jerry Seinfeld called out the guy who thought he was being funny, I can also not allow stupid, hateful, racist, bigoted comments to go unchallenged. We can all stand up and speak out the same way that Secretary of State Marco Rubio wouldn’t allow CBS Anchor Margaret Brennan to get away with telling a lie and speaking untruths on Face the Nation. We need to be forceful like Seinfeld and Rubio. We need to not allow the lies to go unchallenged.
We need to remember the facts and not be afraid to say them. A large-scale survey of Gazans, conducted by researchers from Oxford University and published in Foreign Affairs just last week, showed that 98% of those surveyed described themselves as religious, and nearly as many said they saw the conflict with Israel in religious, not political terms: The Jews were usurpers who must be banished. How? When asked, 47% said they wanted to see Israel destroyed and replaced with a strict Islamic state governed by Sharia law, and 20% said they would settle merely for the forced removal of all Jews and their transfer to wherever it was their ancestors had lived prior to immigrating to Israel. You can read an article about the study here.
This isn’t about land or a state. This is about eliminating the Jews. Those who want to argue otherwise need to be called out and held to account. No more hiding. No more quiet. No more putting our heads in the sand. It’s not just that we owe it to ourselves and to our children and grandchildren. We owe it to Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas.
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Emily Damari’s hand has become an international symbol. The pictures are stunning and shocking. When you see her face and her hand, you realize that her hand does not define her, yet it also is a par tof her identity now. Shot in the hand by Hamas on October 7th, kidnapped and held hostage for 471 days, nobody knew what Emily would be like upon her release. What we have seen in just a week is truly remarkable. Her spirit, her smile, and the videos of her with her family warm my heart. It gives me hope for the other hostages and their pending release. It reminds me of my obligation to live and to be an inspiration, not just to my family, but those who know me or know of me.
One of the most beautiful pictures I have seen. Her face, her smile, and her hand show resilience
Her hand is a symbol and an inspiration. But of what? Rabbi Daniel Gordis, in his Israel from the Inside substack, writes about this, stating
“Here are some of the thoughts that I’ve heard from others:
It’s a “V” symbol, for “victory”
It’s “just” a wave, but Hamas turned her simple into “V”
It looks like the letter shin, ש, which is the letter on the Mezuzah, as “shin” stands for “Shadd-ai”, one of the Hebrew names of God
It sort of looks like a heart
And then, the one that I thought was the most profound:
“She’s home, and she’ll heal. But she’ll never be whole. Just like this country.”“
There is so much to think about in that analysis. It may be a ‘V for victory’, but what did we really win? She is home safe, which is a victory, but it is hard to say that we have won anything. Israel defended her citizens, crippled Hamas and Hezbollah, weakened Iran, and as a result, allowed for the toppling of the Assad regime. Yet it’s hard to think of that as a ‘win’. I believe almost everybody would rather the world be as it was on October 6th rather than where we are today, so it’s hard to see anything as a victory.
I love the concept of her hand now looking like the Hebrew letter shin, standing for the name of God. It’s a physical symbol of God and how God is inside all of us. In Emily’s case, she now has an outer symbol of God. It has been noted that her hand is now the same as the sign for “I love you” in American Sign Language. This ties even more into the letter shin as it shows God’s love for us all. I had the privilege and honor of meeting Elie Wiesel three times and having dinner with him twice. Sitting with him, it was clear that he had been touched by God. I feel the same way about Emily. Her hand is the symbol.
When I look, I don’t see a heart. I think it’s a bit of a stretch but I do love the concept. Emily and all the hostages have had our hearts since October 7th. When we learn one of them was murdered, our heart breaks. When we see one of them released, our heart sings. As Jews, we are all mishpacha (family). It’s a reminder of that as well. It is a reminder that no matter how much the terrorists of Hamas and Hezbollah try to take away our morals and ethics and our commitment to life, we will not let them do that. When I see her hand, it reminds me that I have to do better, be better, to make the world a better place.
I agree with Rabbi Gordis on the last one. It is the most profound. And perhaps the most true of them all. October 7th broke us. Going to the Nova site at Re’im was incredibly painful. Visiting Kibbutz Kfar Aza felt like being at Auschwitz just after liberation. I’ll never forget that feeling. Meeting and spending time with the displaced families from Kibbutz Alumim in Netanya as heartbreaking and inspiring and then visiting Kibbutz Alumim two months later, meeting those who moved back, and seeing what the terrorists both did and tried to do there, was deeply moving. We will all heal in some way. Yet we will also not be whole. Emily is the symbol for the entire Jewish world. She is the symbol for Israel. When I visited Israel in May and July iof 2024, you could feel how the country was different. When I went back in September, after the murder of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, Ori Danino, Eden Yerushalmi, Almog Sarusi, Alexander Lobanov and Carmel Gat, the country had changed yet again. Israel will heal. Israel will recover. But the Israel of October 6, 2023 will likely never exist again. Neither will any of us.
Kfar Aza in May 2024. When I watch and listen, I still feel the pain and anger that I did on that day.
My friend Fleur Hassan Nahoum picks a scumbag of the week and a hero of the week on her podcast, The Quad, each week. This week, her hero was Emily. As you listen to her talk about Emily, there is so much to identify with. She, and all the hostages, are family. We cried when they were taken. We ached as we thought of what they were enduring. We spoke out for their release and safe return. We celebrate when they are released and we mourn when we find out they have been murdered. Her hand should be the new symbol of giving Hamas “the finger”. They tried to murder us all and kill our spirits. They took her captive and held her for 471 days. She wouldn’t be detered. She is emblematic of the Jewish and the Israeli spirit. When I look at her, when I watch videos of her, I see life. I see future. I see hope.
Emily reminds us all of who we used to be, who we currently are, and who we aspire to be. As she comes home after 471 days that none of us can imagine, after 471 days than none of us would to experience for a single day, she exudes hope, love, and beauty. In a world filled with despair, filled with immense challenges, filled with incredible hate and bigotry, Emily reminds us that there is another path. Even in the worst of times, in the worst of places, enduring the worst of humanity, Emily’s smile shows us we can perservere. We can win by living our lives. We can defeat evil by never letting go of who we are and what we believe.
Drawing by artist Moshe Shapira, the father of Alex Shapira z’l, murdered on October 7, 2023, while hiding with his friends and others in a shelter in Re’im, after fleeing the Nova music festival
Emily is an inspiration. She is a reminder than good can defeat evil. It takes effort. Sometimes herculean effort, like surviving 471 days of captivity and brutality by Hamas. Losing two fingers and having their stubs fused together. Who knows what other horrors she had to face. Yet she survived and brings light to all of us. If Emily can do it, so can we. Let Emily’s spirit inspire all of us to do better, to be better, and to fight harder. Am Yisrael Chai!!
The wildfires in California are devastating. People are losing their homes and their valuables. Some are losing their lives. I live in Florida, far from California. There is no threat of those fires expanding to my community, yet I truly understand what that loss feels like.
In 2013, my family and I were preparing to move from Gainesville, FL to Seattle, WA as I had been recruited and hired to be the new President and CEO of the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle. It was a big move with lots of nerves, fear, and concern for all of us. We were literally moving completely across the country. My wife and kids had never not lived close to family and now we were moving nearly 3,000 miles away.
This was a big new job in a new community for me. Alison, my wife, had one friend who lived there and my kids knew nobody. It was exciting and scary at the same time. We packed up our house, the movers took our belongings away, and we moved into my in-laws house for a few days. I was leaving a few days before my family to get things set up, move into our rental home, pick up our dog at the airport and then get the family a few days later. Everything was set up for this big change in our lives.
As I prepared to head to the airport in a rental car (our cars had been shipped already), my phone rang. It was the moving company. They told me that there had been a fire in our moving truck and it was a complete loss. Everything we owned that was on that truck was lost. My face dropped. I didn’t know what to do. For a minute I thought I was being pranked, I hoped and prayed I was being pranked, but I wasn’t. I told Alison and she was stunned. How do you comprehend losing all your belongings like that. Your memories. Your photos as a child, with your grandparents, your children as babies, your ketubah (marriage certificate) and so much more.
I headed to the airport in shock, talking to Alison on the phone the entire time. I called Delta, told them what happened, and they changed my flight to a day later. I called my new board chair and shared the news with her. She was shocked. Using humor to deflect my feelings, I said to her, “Well, at least we don’t have to unpack.”
When I got back to my in-laws house, we spoke to the moving company again and they said we could come to the facility in Jacksonville where the truck was and salvage anything that we wanted. Still in shock, Alison and I drove to Jacksonville, depressed at what we were going to see.
When we arrived, they told us what happened. The truck hadn’t left the yard yet. There was an issue with the truck that needed to be fixed before they could send it to Seattle. The way to fix it involved using a blowtorch. Their standard operating procedure is to removed everything from the truck, then use the blowtorch to fix it, and then reload the truck. The person who was fixing it decided he didn’t want to do that and just tried to fix it with all our belonging still on the truck. Something caught fire, the truck went up in flames, they rushed to put it out, but the fire, smoke, and water ruined our belongings. Later, I reached out to a few attornies about a lawsuit since they didn’t follow their procedures and I learned that they are only liable for the loss. Not for anything else. I learned that sentimental things have no value other than replacement of them. Things that were handed down from my grandfathers would be worth pennies because they were old things that could easily replaced. A lesson learned.
We were both fuming as we walked to the area where the truck and our belongings were. You could smell the smoke well before we got there. The sight was devastating. Boxes were charred and wet. Furniture burned. We slowly approached the area, tears in our eyes, and began to go through the boxes.
Then something amazing happened. We opened a wet and charred box and found our ketubah in it, in perfect condition. We opened another wet and charred box and found our wedding album along with other picture albums from our childhoods. We found our children’s professional pictures when they were 4 and 2 perfectly safe. We looked around as our furniture, clothes, and everything that could be replaced with money was damaged and lost and realized that things that really mattered to us were not. The collage from our wedding reception was fine. My autographed sports memorabilia that I got personally, signed to me, was fine. The things my grandfather and Alison’s grandfather did special for us, were fine. My grandfather had the newspapers from the 4 days leading up to Nixon’s resignation and the day that FDR died. They mean the world to me because they connect me to him, long after he died. They were all fine. Our hearts warmed quickly and were filled with gratitude. Yes, we lost all our material possessions and would have to get everything new. Yet the things that truly mattered to us, the things that were irreplaceable, were saved.
This was my proof that God exists. There was no reason for these things to be saved. They weren’t in a part of the truck that wasn’t burned. Our ketubah and Alison’s bridal portrait were in boxes that were behind the couch that burned up. The things that mattered the most were mixed with everything that was a complete loss. There was no reason for them to be saved and in great condition other than God.
As we see what is happening in Calfornia with the fire and loss of homes, I think back to when we lost everything we owned. When people reached out, wanting to donate money to help us, we declined. Why did we decline? We had insurance on our items and they could be replaced. We thought we had enough insurance but eventually learned that replacing EVERYTHING you own is much more expensive than you think. We told people that most importantly, nobody was hurt. We still had a place to live and material things are not important compared to being healthy.
I feel for the people who have lost their homes and their possessions. I have been there with the possessions and was grateful it was just possessions and not my house. I was lucky that the things that couldn’t be replaced were saved. The people in California don’t have that luck. Houses and possessions can be replaced. It will be an inconvenience. It will be frustrating. It’s not something anybody would want to go through. For those who lost their lives, they can’t be replaced. For those who lost their material possessions, all that can, and will, be replaced.
After losing our material possessions in 2013, I found myself grateful. Grateful that we were safe and it was just things. Grateful we had insurance, which covered about 85% of the cost of replacing everything. I was incredibly grateful that the things that couldn’t be replaced were saved. It reminded me of my priorities. It reminded me that material things are just that – things. We may like them and enjoy them, but they are just things. There are many things far more important.
I hope that those going through this awful time of loss, of devastation, and in a time when they are in shock, the same way I was in shock after hearing the news, come to the same realization. Their homes will be rebuilt. They will buy new clothes and new furniture. They can buy new art for the walls, new rugs for the floors, new towels and sheets, and appliances. There are many things that are irreplaceable. Possessions are not among them.
I found great comfort in this realization. I hope those dealing with it in California find the same comfort. Having lost all my possessions in 2013, I know what is really important. I would gladly go through it all over again to ensure my health and the health of my loved ones. Possessions are temporary and unimportant. Our lives and the lives of our loved ones are what matters. Health and happiness. Let the pain those in California are going through be a lesson to us all about what really matters in life. I know it’s a reminder for me.
Me walking through the fire damage of our belongingsInside the moving van where the fire occurred.
As we begin 2025, I have found myself much more reflective than normal. For me, the end of a year is usually more future focused than reflective. I tend to look at what the upcoming year may bring and the opportunities that lie ahead rather than looking back at what happened and can’t be changed. I am not sure what is different this year but it definitely is different.
The past four years have been filled with incredible challenges and learning experiences. From dealing with the challenges and stress of Covid, especially when I was running an organization with almost 150 employees depending on me, to health challenges that at one point indicated potential major surgery, life was challenging. 2022 is the year that my dad died, a truly transformative event in my life. We were very close and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him. I had a major career change and recently had another health scare that thankfully turned out to not be anything serious. I’ve had friends die and seeing people my age or slightly older die has shown me the reality that there is far more time behind me than ahead of me. My oldest son has begun his career and no longer lives close by. My youngest son is graduating college in May. As I prepare for 2025, it is clear that all these things have made me more reflective than ever before.
As we approach the start of 2025, I find myself thinking about what really matters to me. What is it that I really want? What is it that I really value? Who do I want in my life? How do I want to spend my time? Who do I want to invest my most precious commodity, my time, with? I recently found old picture albums and boxes with pictures in them. As I look back at my college pictures, it doesn’t seem that long ago, yet it also seems forever ago. My 40th High School reunion is in 2025 and as I look at those pictures, it feels like yesterday while also feeling like it was lived by a different person. Perhaps it’s that stage of life, approaching 60, my youngest graduating college, watching nieces and nephews get married and have children, that is causing this.
It is actually a wonderful place to be. Challenging for sure, but also wonderful.
What does matter to me? Over the past few years I have clarified things and been much more focused. Here is my list as we start 2025.
Health. Without health we have nothing. I remember hearing this from my grandparents as a child and not appreciating it. Over the past few years, I have had some health challenges and understand it. My father had health challenges and then died in 2022. I recently had a friend die of a heart attack while he slept. I’ve seen far too many people my age or close to my age struggle with health issues and many pass away. Health matters. That means taking care of myself in ways I never would have before. It means being grateful for every day I wake up and am not struggling with a health issue. It’s being grateful for the health of my family and my friends. At the end of the day, health matters the most because no matter what else I have, if I don’t have my health, I really have nothing.
Family. I grew up being taught about the importance of family. Not just immediate family, but family by blood and by choice. In my family, I have brothers and sisters, both by blood (one of each) and by choice (2 of each). I have cousins that I am close with that are not your typical first cousins. I have aunts and uncles that are defined that way by the dictionary and those that are defined that way by their actions. I recently was talking to my aunt and uncle (who technically would be cousins) and I said to them point blank, “You are my aunt and uncle. You always have been and always will be.”. Family matters. Family shows up. Family is so much more than just blood. I got a note from my ‘brother’ on New Year’s Eve that touched my heart deeply. He talked about how our friendship that began more than 35 years ago has changed his life. I told him it changed mine as well. He has been, and always will be, my brother. His mom was my mom. His aunt and uncle were my aunt and uncle. My parents were his parents. I’m known as ‘Uncle K’ to his kids. He is Uncle Aric to mine. You can replace most things in life but you can’t replace family.
Basic needs. I grew up in the 70s and 80s. Gordon Gecko and ‘Greed is Good’. Yuppies and the desire for material things. Madonna and ‘Material Girl’. More was always better. In my life today, more is not better. I find myself wanting less. I want to make sure I have clothes, shelter, and food. While I have a nice car, it’s not something that I ‘need’ and look forwad to when I get a different one and getting one that is a ‘step down’. I find that material things are not what drives me nor do I find myself ‘wanting’ many things. I’d rather get a call and a happy birthday wish than a gift. For Hanukkah this year, being together as a family and lighting candles together was so much more than any material gift. I am actively in the process of moving from ‘wanting less’ to ‘having less’, not because of economics but because things don’t mean much any longer. As I was cleaning out my garage last weekend, I came across some old photo albums. The memories in those pictures meant more to me than any material item. My focus is on my basic needs and the rest isn’t necessary. It no longer adds much value to my life.
Values. This may seem like a strange thing to list here but it is actually one of the most important to me. Who I am, what I stand for matters. The type of person that I am, matters to me. I don’t have to be right all the time. I don’t have to ‘win’ all the time. I appreciate those who help me and I want to do what I can to help others. Not because I will ‘get’ anything from it, other than feeling good because I am doing good. It helps me understand the Jewish value of “Tikkun Olam” in a different way. By being a better person, by having and living my values, by treating people with dignity and respect, by helping others without expectation of anything in return, I get so much. I recently had a friend who has been struggling to find full time employment. We would talk over texts as she shared her frustration with the job market. I kept my eyes open for her and found a variety of opportunities for her to consider. I was there to help and support her. Eventually, I found one that worked out for her – she got a job doing what she loves, in an environment that is positive, and that pays her a salary that she feels is appropriate for her skill level and talent. The fact that she is working for another friend of mine only makes it better, as they both win. What did I get out of it? Nothing material – just feeling good that I was able to help two friends. Values and integrity are everything. They mean far more to me than a paycheck or any material good. I feel good about who I am every day when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep. That is truly priceless.
Time. This has become more important as I have gotten older. We have no control over the time we have on this earth. My cousin, who was my age and like a brother to me, died unexpectedly in 1995. His brother, who I sort of adopted as my little brother, died in 2015. My father died in 2022. My fraternity big brother died in 2013. One of my close friends and I have begun to keep track of our fraternity brothers who have died young. When our time is up, our time is up. It’s what we do with our time that matters. For many years, building my career was a top priority. It meant sacrificing time with my family, with my children, with my parents, because of the demands required to be successful. Many people behave this way. I made the decision that I no longer want that. I don’t want my time defined by work. Just this past year, I went to watch my older son coach college football games three times. I took a crazy day trip to California with my younger son to see the Giants and A’s each play home games before taking the redeye home. I took Brightline with my younger son and his girlfriend to Miami to see the Marlins play and get our SpongeBob Squarepants Marlins jerseys. My wife and I went to Red Rocks to see Carlos Santana in concert. We go to the theater for Broadway shows, we travel to watch the UFC fights, spending money to get good seats and have a memorable experience. I spend a good amount of time in Israel in 2024 with trips in May, July, and September. I meet my mom in Lakeland, halfway between us, for lunch or dinner. Time is a commodity. How we choose to use it is up to us. I spent enough time devoted to my career. While I still spend plenty of time working and on my career, I value family and time spent in meaningful ways much more than extra money, a bigger professional role, or a big title. My priorities have shifted.
Friends. Throughout my career and my life, I have made a lot of friends. What I have learned is that many people who we call friends are merely acquaintences. They are people who are there in the good times, who are there when you can give them something, and are there when it benefits them. Real friends show up during the difficult times. Real friends show up when it is inconvenient for them but you need them. Real friends don’t care what others think. Over the past few years, I have had the opportunity to learn who my real friends are. I have seen people that I thought were friends simply not show up. Not reach out. I have seen people show up and show that they are real friends who I didn’t expect would show up. I do things differently now. I make sure to check in with my friends, not matter where they live. I do it not because of what they can do for me but because I value them in my life. A few months ago, I started having lunch with a group of guys on Friday. They are all 80+ so I bring the demographic down signficantly. I love these lunches. I enjoy the company, the conversation, the things I learn from them. While some of them I have known for years, others are new friends. I do my best not to miss those lunches because I value their company. I learn from them. I can honestly say that if any of them needed something, I would be there for them. I reach out to friends that I know are struggling with things in life, just to be a voice telling them that I’m here and I care. I have learned how important active friendship is and make sure to be an active friend.
Spirituality. While I would not call myself a very religious person, I am a very spiritual person. I pray and meditate every morning and have for over 30 years. I like learning with a Rabbi (I have two that I do it with) because it helps me connect with God in different ways and helps me be a better human being. I enjoy rituals like putting on tefillin, singing Acheinu every day until the hostages are released, lighting the menorah, eating apples and honey, and cooking for holiday meals as if 40 people are showing up even when it’s just 4-6. These are things than bring me joy. My connection to God brings me joy. My Jewish identity brings me joy. These things actually make my life both simpler and fuller. I have found that nothing in life happens by accident. There is a divine force behind it all – I may not see or appreciate it for a while, but it is there. I am who I am today because of my life experiences. The ones that I loved and the ones that I would not have chosen. I know that God always takes care of me in the long run, even if the short run is uncomfortable and not what I would have chosen on my own. It is why I say thank you every morning for whatever the day may bring me. If it was up to me, I would always choose the easier option. This would inhibit my growth as a human being. This would limit me. Instead, I get the gift of opportunity to grow and experience life. I’ll take that every time. I love my spirituality and spiritual connection. It brings me great joy and meaning. It is a path I encourage everybody to follow, wherever it may take them. Each of our paths are different and I hope you follow yours. I’m going to keep following mine.
One of my favorite books by my spiritual advisor for the past 27 years
Speaking of friends, one of mine recently turned 24 (as you can tell, I have friends in their 20s and in their 80s, I’m an equal opportunity friend when it comes to age). For her 24th birthday, she listed 24 life lessons she has learned. It is an impressive list and one I look at very differently now than I would have at 24. It’s amazing how life experiences change the way we see the same exact things. Here is her list:
1. Life means nothing without the people you love around you 2. Chase your dreams everyday – life is not to be lived waiting around 3. Purpose mixed with passion will take you places in life 4. It’s okay to f*** up – we all do – that’s how you learn 5. Not everything is for everyone, and that’s okay 6. Workout before making a big or impulsive decision – you will always have a different perspective after 7. If you don’t ask, you’ll never get 8. Be comfortable being uncomfortable – that’s where growth happens 9. Everyone has their own way of doing things, there is no 1 way to do it, find your way to make it work 10. Learn something from everyone you speak too – advice is not always meant to tell you what to do, sometimes it’s to show you what not to do 11. Two things can be true at the same time…. 12. Happiness comes from doing things that you joy 13. Dare to be wrong in life, it’s always a lesson and a good story 14. If something won’t matter in 5 hours, 5 days or even 5 years – everything will be alright 15. You create memories everyday, make them memories with people you love 16. Being comfortable with yourself is the biggest gift you can give yourself 17. Ask questions always – don’t be afraid to feel stupid 18. People want to be around people doing good things for this world and making a difference 19. Life is not about you – it’s about the people you touch 20. You never know how something may affect someone else, good or bad 21. Do the difficult thing. Say the hard thing… whats the worst that can happen? 22. You don’t owe anyone your time or energy – it’s precious, hold on to it tight 23. Growth is a process – be patient with yourself – it doesn’t happen over night 24. Appreciate the moment because you will look back at the ‘good ole times’ and miss being here
As we move into 2025, I encourage you to take a look at your life. Ask yourself what really matters to you. Then act on what matters to you. Society tells us all sorts of things are ‘supposed’ to matter. The reality is that the only things that matter are those you decide are important to you. Take ownership and take action. Nobody is responsible for your life and your choices other than you.
Friendship is a wonderful and strange thing. We do get to pick our friends although sometimes, our friends pick us. We have childhood friends that we lose touch with and those we stay in contact with. Sometimes our best friends of our youth are no longer part of our life and sometimes we lose touch for years and when we reconnect it’s like no time passed at all. Sometimes people flash into our life, make an impact, and then they are gone. Sometimes we have friends for our entire life. Friendship is dynamic, it’s not static. Friendship is something that is active and takes work.
I got a text Saturday night, letting me know that there was a good chance that a friend of mine had died. It was sudden. It was unexpected. I reached out to somebody who would know if it was true, and sadly it was. It’s a very strange, modern, Covid friendship. We only ever met in person 3 times. Yet the loss is profound.
I’m not sure how Zev found me on Facebook during Covid. Likely through a friend of a friend. He reached out about some things we were doing and thoughts I had shared. We began chatting on Facebook messenger and sharing thoughts and ideas about the Jewish community. For two years we had a virtual friendship. In December 2022, I was invited to the White House Hanukkah party and was heading to DC. It was my first trip since Covid and the first time since Zev and I ‘met’ on social media. We made plans to meet for dinner and finally got to meet in person.
My son Matthew was with me and the three of us had a great dinner filled with interesting conversation. We talked about Matthew’s college experience, how Covid impacted his high school years, the challenges of the organized Jewish community, the decline in synagogue membership, what Jewish life could look like, things in Israel (this was pre-October 7), and much more. We spent a few hours eating and talking and building our friendship.
When I returned to Orlando after the party, we continued to keep in touch. We would email, Facebook message, and talk on the phone. When Cantor Azi Schwartz performed at a synagogue gala, we discussed the role of music in prayer. A year or so later, he and his family commissioned a special musical score for MIZMOR L’DAVID: A PSALM OF DAVID by Sam Glaser at his synagogue, Adas Israel. Of course one of the senior Rabbis there is a long time friend and the Cantor there is the wife of another good friend. The Jewish world is small and Zev made it smaller. After October 7th, we had more to talk about. The conversation was always easy and flowed naturally.
Earlier this year, I was in DC for the AIPAC Policy Summit. I stayed a few days extra for some work with a client. One of the people we met with was Zev. I thought he would be interested in the project and would also provide some good feedback and suggestions. He did both. He financially supported the project and gave some great feedback that helped our messaging. He made some suggestions of other people to meet with and share information about the project. That’s who Zev was, a person who got involved and wanted to make a difference.
The last time I saw Zev was just a few weeks ago. I was back in DC to do some work with a different client. Zev and I planned to meet for lunch as my hotel was a short walk from his home. We had a great lunch, great conversation, and he was interested in the work of this client, agreeing to support them. I had another client doing work I thought he might be interested in and after lunch, sent him some of their Israeli wine to taste. In typical Zev fashion, he didn’t want me to spend money on him but I sent it anyway. We walked back to my hotel, continuing our conversation, and said goodbye in the lobby, making plans to meet again in 2025.
We emailed after that visit. He enjoyed the wine. He shared some things he was concerned about and wanted my thought on. It seemed like everything was going great for him and I looked forward to our next meeting. Unfortunately that will now never happen.
Zev and me in DC at the beginning of December. He passed away less than 3 weeks later.
Friendship is like that. It can be fleeting and it can be lasting. We never know where our friends will come from. A life lesson that I have learned is that we may think we know who our friends are and then life shows up. The people who show up then are our real friends. People I thought were friends have shown me they were really acquaintances. And people I didn’t think were good friends have shown me that they really are good friends. I’ve learned not to pre-judge anybody.
Zev was a real friend, even though we only met in person 3 times. I’m grateful that we met because of Covid and that he became a part of my life. I’m sad that he is gone, yet the things we discussed and the passion for Jewish life and the Jewish community we shared will remain a part of me forever. While he may be gone from this earth, his impact is not. He changed many people’s lives with his friendship, his committment to making a difference and being a light to the world. As a mutual friend of ours said to me after Zev passed, the Jewish people and the Jewish community were his children.
Thank you Zev for reaching out on Facebook back in 2020. Thank you for sharing who you are with me. Thank you for inviting me into your life and being my friend. You are greatly missed. זיכרונו לברכה (ichrono livrakha). May your memory always be a blessing.
Matthew, Zev, and me at our first meeting in person
Every so often I read something that I think needs to be shared. In these crazy times, I wanted to share this piece by Norman Leonard. He has a substack where he writes weekly about funny/ironic things.
This is a story he wrote for his kids a long time ago. It’s in the style of Shel Silverstein, and he got a little playful with it, sketching out some moments. Besides being a great read, it reminds up that no matter what, we should be grateful. Like the prayer, “Thank you for letting the rooster know the difference between day and night” reminds us, we can be grateful for every day we have.
It’s the kind of story I would have read to my kids when they were young because it’s funny, a bit scary, and teaches a lesson. It’s kind of like the classic book, Go the F*** to Sleep, read by Samuel L. Jackson that had my wife and I laughing out loud (I don’t think we actually ever read it or played it for our kids until they were MUCH older). If you haven’t heard it and are not offended by the vulgarity, it’s a true classic.
Here is the piece by Norman Leonard.
In my travels, I’ve been many places,
Done many things, seen many faces.
There was one town I visited, not too long ago—
I thought it was normal. Turns out, it only seemed so.
It looked like a lot of other towns I knew
With lots of boys and girls, many just like you.
But this town had a secret and, no, not the fun clubhouse kind.
This secret was a whopper—scared one third-grader right out of his mind.
The town had a monster who lived here and there,
A monster who could be lurking anytime, anywhere.
He hunted small children, specifically ones who would whine,
And he boiled them in his pot, often with garlic and brine.
The whining, it had been hypothesized…
Well… it made the kids tasty, made them tenderized.
One summer night, a first-grader began to whine and to pout,
When the monster heard, he prepped a stew with worms and sauerkraut.
As the first grader’s whining hit an all-time high,
The monster added to his stew some six-year-old thigh.
Later that week, another kid was devoured.
It wasn’t too long after her attitude had soured.
And that wasn’t the last kid. Not a chance. Nope, nope, nope!
The monster picked off more who would whine, gripe and mope.
The town parents loved their children and didn’t want them eaten.
Not by monster, not by ghost, not by fiend, freak, or cretin.
So they hired a wise woman, an old mother of the earth,
Smiling and warm, an ancient matriarch of mirth.
And it didn’t take her long to identify the trend
That was bringing the children to a gastronomic end.
She observed the complaining and noted the whiny appeals
That turned kids into ingredients for the monster’s savory meals.
And so the wise woman made a groundbreaking suggestion
To keep kids from being part of the monster’s digestion.
She proposed that every whiny, belly-aching attitude
Be replaced by super-duper enthusiastic gratitude.
Be thankful for parents, friends and siblings, too.
Be thankful for a silly joke on days you feel blue.
Be grateful for medicine and vegetables, all those things that make you say “yuck.”
Be grateful for every time you were stumped, bested, or stuck.
Be grateful for what you have, grateful for what you don’t.
If you are, you won’t get eaten. It’s true! You really won’t.
Well, the kids took her advice and the whining stopped turkey-cold.
The kids practiced gratitude, practiced just like they were told.
They were thankful everyday, appreciative every night,
And soon enough that hungry monster lost its appetite.
The monster in that town was never seen again.
And the kids cried, “Hallelujah, baby! Amen, amen, amen!”
Now, you might be grateful, too, that this monster was run out,
But don’t think you’re safe to whine—it still might be about.
No, not in that town—perhaps in yours—monsters are known to stray.
So swap that whining for gratitude and keep that monster appetite away.
If you enjoyed this and want to subscribe to his substack, you can sign up for the free or paid version here
Processing my recent trip to Israel has been a challenge. This is my 21st trip yet the first since October 7th. In many ways, this makes it my first trip to Israel. Rather than being able to sum up the trip in one blog post, I am going to take bits and pieces and talk about them. Take bites out of this experience and share them. As I was talking to somebody this morning about the trip, we discussed how it really was an overwhelming experience filled with emotion. I’m going to begin by writing about three things.
In 2021 I participated in my first Momentum trip. One of the people on our trip was an Israeli man named Alex Malayev. While we didn’t become close friends on the trip, we did get to know each other. Throughout the years after the trip, we kept in touch through our WhatsApp group. He shared with us in the group that his son Yoav was in the IDF and killed fighting Hamas on October 7th. It was devastating to hear this news and my heart broke for him. On the trip, he talked about his son and shared what Yoav wrote, after he was mortally injured and was dying.
Yoav Malayev z”l with his father Alex and mother Maya
“The best 20 minutes of my life, we crawled up to here. I got injured, and there’s a barrage now. I’m thinking about you, and I’ll be thinking about you the whole journey. I love you.”
It brought tears to my eyes then and brings tears to my eyes now. As this 19 year old boy was injured and dying, his thoughts were on defending Israel, defending the Jewish people, and how much he loved his family. He was proud of his effort to defend the Jewish people and the Jewish homeland. The best 20 minutes of his life. What bravery. What inspiration. When I first heard it from Alex and read it on the page, I felt like I was being slapped in the face. He was willing to sacrifice his life for the Jewish people and the Jewish homeland. What am I willing to do? What am I willing to risk? How important is it to me? As I sit on my comfortable couch back in America, I continue to ask myself that question. I thought I did enough before this trip. After hearing Yoav’s story, I know I am not. I have to do more. I have to advocate for Israel. I have to advocate for the Jewish people. I can’t be silent because I am worried about my safety. He didn’t worry about his safety.
Alex’s son Yoav may have died but he didn’t die in vain. Not only did he help protect Israel and the Jewish people, his life and death is an inspiration to us all to do more. To give more. To take bigger risks. To represent being Jewish in a public way. We have a collective responsibility. When Israel called, 350,000 reservists answered right away. More than were expected. The Jewish people are calling. Israel is calling. We need to respond. I know that I will. The next few weeks will be figuring out exactly how. I urge you, if inspired by Yoav, to do the same.
The second thing I want to talk about is when we went to the Shura army base. When we arrived, we got there just as the body of Nachman Vaknin z”l was being loaded into the van to be taken to Eilat for burial. Nachman had been killed in battle a few days earlier. It was incredibly powerful watching his coffin being loaded into the van. Then, the doors were kept open so one of our group, who was saying mourners kaddish for his mother, could say kaddish there for both him other and for Nachman. When he finished, we were given the honor of escorting Nachman out of the parking lot and on his final journey home, where he would be buried later that day.
Nachman Vaknin z”l
None of us had known Nachman yet all of us felt we lost somebody close to us. This 20 year old boy was defending us. He was defending Israel. He was defending the Jewish people. On Thursday, we had been in Kfar Aza, less than a mile from Jabaliya. Before that, we had been working on a farm in the Gaza envelope where we could see Khan Yunis. After Kfar Aza we went to the site of the Nova music festival. Both Kibbutzim and the Nova festival were attacked on October 7th and suffered losses. Two of the three also had hostages taken. In the middle of the war, we knew that we could have been attacked at any time at those sites. Nachman was killed on Saturday, just two days after we were in the area. I think all of this combined to make him feel like an additional son to all of us.
We were incredibly moved by being there for Nachman as he was put into the van and driven away. It made us think about life. Earlier on the trip, Saul, our trip leader, had talked to us about what we would die for determining what we would live for. I know that as I stood there with Nachman’s body, I knew what he would die for and so I knew what he lived for. It continued the spin in my head. What would I die for? Because I know that determines what I live for. Now that I am home, that spin in my head hasn’t stopped. Yoav and Nachman both knew. My head still spins. They were 19 and 20 yet they knew. I am 56 about to be 57 and I am not sure. My family is one thing that I would die for. I know that and have known that for a long time. What ideals? What values? It goes to my core which is what makes it so difficult. A core value of mine is honesty but would I die rather than tell a lie? I don’t think so. Where that line is a challenge for all of us to ask of ourselves. This trip has truly highlighted it for me and I want to be like Yoav and Nachman and know to my core what I would die for. Then I know what I truly live for.
The final thing I want to write about also is from the Shura army base. After we said l’hitraot to Nachman on his final trip, we were introduced to Noa, who talked to us about the forensic center located at the base. Noa has 8 children and on October 7th, 7 of their family were called up from reserves. This includes both her and her husband. This means 7 of 10 people in her family have been active duty in the war since October 7th. It makes the story in Saving Private Ryan seem tame as he was one of 4 brothers and these are 5 siblings and 2 parents. Her job at the forensic center was to prepare the bodies of those who were murdered on October 7th for burial. One of the beautiful things she said that she always believes that the neshama, the soul, of the person who died is in the room with her. You can listen to her talk in this first video.
Noa speaking to us and introducing herself and the base.
Noa was truly amazing and inspiring. She talked about how they got not just the bodies of soldiers but of civilians as well. Men, women, and children. They also got the bodies of terrorists. This made it challenging as many of their bodies were booby trapped with bombs and grenades. Imagine working to humanely treat the bodies of the dead and having to rush out because there is concern one of the bodies has a grenade or bomb that could go off. As she talks about how many bodies were there on October 7th in such matter of fact voice was chilling. She finishes talking about an injured soldier with a twin brother and how she can’t make a mistake in the identification.
Noa talking more about the base and what she does.
When we went inside the thing Noa talked about that stuck with me the most was how after all the horror she saw, after all the blood she described dealing with, after seeing the mutiliated and abused bodies, she finds that she must still look for the positive. She still has to think about how to make the family a more delicious dinner. How to be a better wife and mother and friend. After all the horrors, instead of being stuck in them, she looks for the beauty in life. She looks for ways to make life better not just for herself but for those she cares about and loves. What a beautiful concept.
After she talked about that, I found myself thinking about the things that I struggle with that keep me from focusing on the beauty of life. What things am I allowing to keep me from asking how I can be a better husband, father, and friend. What more delicious dinner should I make? What keeps me focused on the negative instead of the positive? And if Noa can do this after what she has seen, what stops me from doing it? It should be so much easier for me as I haven’t seen the gore she has. I haven’t dealt with the inhumanity that she has.
Now that I am back in the United States, far away from the active war, I want to do better. I want whatever comes to my life to only make me want to do more. To do better. I have seen religious people talk about this often in the past, regardless of their religion, and always questioned it. After October 7th, after meeting Noa, after seeing the sacrifice made by Yoav and Nachman, after being at Kfar Aza and the Nova music festival site, I feel like it is my obligation to find ways to bring more light to world. Not to allow the darkness we all face to win. Noa actively shoves the darkness away and doesn’t merely make room for the light, she is the light. She fills the room with light. We were all amazing by Noa. Who she is as a person. What she does for Israel, for those who die in service to Israel, and for their families. The type of mother, sister, and wife she is. Who she is as a human being.
Three amazing people to inspire me and hopefully inspire you. Yoav, who while giving his life for the state and people he loves not only celebrates the opportunity but shares his love for his family. Nachman, who paid the ultimate price to keep us all safe and while we didn’t know him, felt like a family member to us all, and Noa, who took care of those from October 7th and every female soldier since so they get treated with dignity and respect before burial. Who makes sure the families going through intense pain and loss know somebody was caring for their child until they are buried. All three knew what they’d die for. All 3 knew what they live for. While only one remains alive today, all three have full lives. All three have changed my life. I hope that over the rest of my life, I can live up to the standard they have set. I know I have work to do.
Yom Ha’atzmaut continued today in such a subdued manner it was shocking. It was easy to forget that it was still Independence Day as so much was different than previous years. I am used to the beach being packed, barbecues happening, an undercurrent of joy, the planes flying over the beach in formation, and so much more. Last night, the port was empty as we went for dinner. In a normal year, it would have been packed with people, music, fireworks, and celebration. This year is different.
My friend, Dr. Debi Gilboa (also known as Dr. G) spoke to use this morning about courage and resilience. Debi is a wonderful person, doctor, friend, and speaker and today was no different. There were three things she talked about that really resonated for me.
Dr G, my friend Debi Gilboa, and me.
The first was about how in 1908, sixty-six (66) families left Jaffa and moved to Tel Aviv to create something. There was nothing there. I have seen the pictures at Independence Hall in Tel Aviv or what it looked line then. Huge sand dunes. That’s it. These pioneers and their families took and incredible risk moving to the middle of nowhere, on a sandy beach, with no drinking water, no housing in place, and no farming for food that was growing. Why would they do this? What could be their rationale?
The pioneers that created Tel Aviv in 1908. They had courage.
By moving to Tel Aviv, they had a chance at self-determination. They had a change to take control of their own destiny. They could build a city where they were in charge and could live the way they wanted to live, as Jews. I’m sure every one of them was scared and felt unsure at times. Yet they did it anywhere. The fear of where they were coming from along with the opportunity that presented itself was enough to help them fight through their fear to build the city of Tel Aviv.
The second was about courage. Courage is not feeling fear or being afraid. Courage is feeling fear and being afraid and getting through it anyway. The 66 families that started Tel Aviv in 1908 felt plenty of fear, yet they would not let that fear stop them from following through and building the city of Tel Aviv. We heard from and met people from Kibbutz Alumim today. The Kibbutz is 3 km from Gaza and was attacked on October 7. It is the only kibbutz that was attacked on October 7th, the terrorists got into the kibbutz, but did not get into the houses. Those on the kibbutz who hid in their safe rooms with their families and those who defended it were scared but they fought through the fear to survive. Courage looks different but always involves facing your fears and finding a way through them.
The third topic that resonated strongly with me was when she talked about how God told Abraham and Sarah, “Lech Lecha”. Translated this means ‘Go to yourself.” This is when they left where they were living, left Abraham’s father’s house, and followed God’s directions. Debi shared with us that it also means for each of us to be true to ourselves. That we must take care of ourselves. After October 7, Israelis are doing what they have to do to take care of themselves. It’s emotionally difficult and requires courage to do this. In the diaspora, we are struggling with this. How do we take care of ourselves in a world filled with rising antisemitism? How do we take care of ourselves when we see the hate on college campuses? How do we take care of ourselves when we see physical violence occurring just because somebody is Jewish? When Jewish speakers and events are cancelled because the venue ‘can’t ensure security’? During the day today, this became a topic of many conversations I had. The consensus seemed to be that we need to invest more in what being Jewish means to us. Each of us individually has the opportunity to ask that question of ourselves and our families. What does being Jewish mean to me? How do I express being Jewish in a meaningful way to me? Are there things I might want to do or that I like to do that I am not? If so, what are they. If not, maybe I want to explore what they could be. I have found myself doing this over the past few years and coming up with my own answers for me. I have found that I enjoy learning more about what being Jewish entails by spending time each week talking and learning some Torah with a Rabbi and how it applies to my life today. Can the lesson change my behavior and how I feel about things? Each week I learn a little bit more. I am not more religious. But I do feel more Jewish.
Debi’s talk, similar to when I am learning lessons from the Torah with my Rabbi, made me think a little deeper about issues. I have more to chew on and more questions to ask myself. Being on this trip, I have brothers to talk with and delve deeper together. That’s also part of being Jewish – having a community to be a part of so life is not lived alone.
We spent time at the Peres Center for Innovation and Peace. I’ve been there before and it is an amazing place, created by Shimon Peres, with an intentional incredible view of the Mediterranean Sea to inspire peacefulness. The main floor is an exhibition space and when I walked in, I was struck by the exhibit from October 7th that was there. It was truly unbelievable. There was a huge screen with a video documenting the events. There was a photo exhibit that was captivating. I videoed part of the video screen and noticed that the reflection of our group watching it was also seen in the recording. I thought that was appropriate as we are all a part of October 7 just like it is a part of us.
The video presentation at the Peres Center for Peace
I came out of the Peres Center with three takeaways this time. First, Israel has always been about peace. The Declaration of Independence explicitly offers peace and a welcome to the Arabs to join the new country. It was the Arabs that rejected that peace and went to war. Since 1948, Israel has offered peace many times and until the Abraham Accords only found peace partners with Egypt and Jordan. Neither is a warm peace, but both have held. Despite the media wanting to say that Israel is the problem, the colonizer, the oppressor, Israel’s actions since 1948 have shown them to be a willing partner for peace with whoever wants to engage with them about peace. When the war with Hamas in Gaza ends, and it will end, it is highly likely that the peace and normalization with both Saudi Arabia and Indonesia will be finalized. More and more Arab nations are coming to realize that they are better off being peaceful and partners with Israel than trying to eliminate them. That is both the narrative we need to be using and the future for the region.
Secondly, there was moment in the video about Shimon Peres where he says that he didn’t feel like he was really the Prime Minister until he “sat in the Old Man’s chair”. The Old Man is David Ben Gurion and it made me think about leadership. Israel has had some incredible leaders. Ben Gurion, Shimon Peres, Moshe Dayan, Yitzhak Rabin, Menachem Begin, Golda Meir, Ariel Sharon, Chaim Weizmann, Ze’ev Jabotinsky, Yigal Allon, Abba Eban, Levi Eshkol, Yitzhak Shamir, Yigael Yadin, and Ezer Weizman are like Israel’s version of our American Founding Fathers, only I remember almost of all them in my lifetime. Israel is a young country and with the loss of these key leaders, the question remains who is going to step up. There is no question that the current situation both in Israel and in the world is a result of leadership challenges. I found myself wondering who would be the next wave of leaders that will step up, both in Israel and the United States, to take us to the next level. Israel turned 76 this week. When the US was 76, it was 1852. We were 8 years away from Abraham Lincoln and his leadership. The US was about to enter a civil war. It was leadership that got us through those challenging times. Who will be both Israel and the United State’s Abraham Lincoln for this time period? Without that leadership, I fear for the future of the world.
The third takeaway was when Peres was summing up his own life near the end. He said, “I didn’t dream big enough” and he urged everybody to dream bigger. In today’s world, I think we need to listen to him and dream bigger. We need to think beyond what is possible and think what would be ideal. Then we work towards accomplishing the ideal. We may not reach ideal, but we will be far better off than if we just try to accomplish what is possible. It reminds me of the saying, “Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will be among the stars.”
One of the highlights of the day was our visit to The Squadron, a flight simulator created by a high-ranking commander in the Israeli air force. The commander gave us a very high level briefing which was incredible. The pattern of three take-aways continued from his talk.
The Squadron let us wear flight uniforms and do the simulator. I always wanted to be Top Gun
When talking about October 7, he said that the country was already in a weakened position because of the civil unrest that was going on before then. The protests of the government policies and attempts to change key laws, the status of the Prime Minister and his legal issues, and the split in the country. It sounded far too familiar to what we are dealing with in the United States. He said to us, “When the body is weakened, the germs can get in and attack”. This is what happened on October 7. This is what we are seeing set up in the United States today. I found myself asking myself how far away are we in the US from our own version of October 7? Would it come from the far right? From the far left? From a terror attack funded by Iran? Are we getting ready for another 9/11 but on a much larger scale? Will we learn from Israel or continue to stick our heads in the sand?
He also said that he believes there will be no peace for at least 100 years because we have lost the youth. It made me think of the exodus from Egypt and how we had to wander for 40 years for the generations of slaves to die so that a new generation that didn’t know slavery could rise. Do we need to wait until the generations who have grown up with hate die off so we can have a new generation that doesn’t know hate rise? I hope we don’t need to wait 100 years or more. I hope we can make changes in our world now that shorter that time. The one thing that I do believe is that the instant gratification expectations of the US and Europe are not realistic and that this will take time. Can we shorten the 100 years to a decade? 2 decades? I don’t know but perhaps it is time that we change our expectations and begin the hard work to get there instead of hoping and praying that it will happen in 2024 or 2025.
The final takeaway was when he said that the only thing that will get us out of this is leadership. I agree with that 100%. As I wrote above and have written before, we have a serious lack of leadership in the world and in our Jewish communities. It is time to invest in leadership. We need to make hard choices and difficult decisions. We need to change the paradigm that we currently live in where leaders are determined by money. Our leaders need to lead, unafraid of the personal consequences because they are doing what is needed for the community, the nation, and the world. We need the courage Debi talked about. We need to dream bigger like Shimon Peres said. We need to allow the great leaders to rise and truly lead.
We then got to try their fight simulator. These were F-16 simulations and it was truly amazing. It gave me great admiration for the air force pilots and made me want to practice more and more.
Keith taking off in the flight simulator
Our final stop for the day was to meet with the people from Kibbutz Alumim. They have been relocated from their kibbutz near Gaza to a hotel in Netanya since October 7. We heard from two people at the kibbutz. Sarit, a young mother, hid in her safe room for 26 hours with her husband and 2-year-old daughter. Sarit’s husband was able to grab a little schnitzel for their daughter and one diaper for her before they entered their safe room for 26 hours. That’s not much in terms of food and one spare diaper for 26 hours isn’t nearly enough. Her descriptions were intense and thankfully the terrorists didn’t get into any of the houses on this kibbutz.
Sarit talking to us
The reason they didn’t get into any of the houses on this kibbutz was because of people like Eyal, the second speaker. This kibbutz had 15 members of their defense force that were trained and had access to guns in their armory to protect the kibbutz. Facing 150 or more terrorists invading the kibbutz, these 15 people fought them off. They ended up getting help from the IDF with a helicopter coming and helping shoot at the terrorists, killing many and driving them away after a full day of battle. Eyal ended up getting shot 4 times. Once on the side of his face, once in his back, once in his side, and once through his lung and out his scapula. He was rushed to the hospital where he was able to recover. The story of bravery on this kibbutz was not remarkable compared to the stories I have heard on other kibbutzim. What I took from it was the importance of being prepared and trained. Nobody wants to think that we have to be prepared to protect ourselves, but the reality is that we do. We can hope that we never have to use the training and that the practice is just that, but we need to be prepared. Whether it is in Israel or in the United States, a failure to prepare is preparing to fail. We no longer can afford that luxury.
Eyal talking to us
Outside the hotel, near the school they had created for their children, we had a huge barbecue and got to celebrate life with the members of the kibbutz. There was nothing like seeing the children fully engaged in life. Just as my grandparents used to say that looking at us, their grandchildren, was the proof that Hitler had lost, watching these children play and live life was proof that Hamas failed. Those who hate us failed. We survived once again and we will thrive again. Some of the little kids gave us gifts of vegetables from the kibbutz and seeing them warmed my heart. Then a few of the young boys came over to dance with us and that was the highlight of the day. It warmed my heart. We danced. We sang. We smiled. We laughed. We lived. I made sure to get a picture with them to remind myself that no matter what, we choose to live. And we choose to live freely as Jews. Authentic to ourselves.
The boys from the Kibbutz who came to dance with us
Dancing with the kids from the Kibbutz – it made the entire day.
Kids from the Kibbutz giving us gifts of vegetables from their Kibbutz. They were so adorable.
How can you not smile watching this toddler on his tricycle. 7 months ago he was hiding in a safe room as his parents hoped they wouldn’t be butchered by Hamas terrorists
I knew when I got on the plane to come this time that part of why I was coming was because October 7 and what has followed has ripped a hole in my soul. Watching the children, dancing with them and seeing them choosing life has begun to repair that hole. We need to listen to Dr. G and be courageous. We need to hear Shimon Peres and dream bigger. We need to pay attention to the lessons from the air force commander and demand real leadership and invest in leadership development. And most of all, we need to live authentically and with joy. Life is too short and too important to waste.
Kids at the barbecue back to life after the terror of October 7th. We must live life to the fullest.
6 months ago, I woke to a very different world. I didn’t know it when I awoke that morning. I made coffee, sat down to catch up on the news, and was horrified to hear about the attacks in Israel. I turned on the TV and the only channel covering it well was CNN. I don’t like watching most television news because of the bias, but on October 7, 2023, I didn’t have a choice. It appeared nobody else was covering it well. I was shocked at what I saw and how CNN covered it that day. They acted like a real news network rather than being in the entertainment business.
The horrors I saw on October 7th only got worse as I watched the 47-minute Hamas video, the documentary on the Nova music festival massacre, and heard from survivors on the attacks on Kibbutzim on October 7th and the Nova Music festival. Images and stories I will never forget.
Many of you don’t know this about me, but in the early to mid 1990s I worked with the Department of Corrections. My population for 18 months was solitary confinement, and I did coverage of Florida’s Death Row when the person who had that as their primary job was on vacation. I also worked with rapists and child molesters who were getting treatment to stop offending if/when they ever got out of prison. I spent time with some of the ‘worst of the worst’. I read files of people who had done horrible things. I met with people who did horrible things. While each of these people did horrific things, none of that was as horrifying to me as what happened on October 7th. Working there definitely changed me and it took me 6 months after I left to feel like a normal person again. I’m not sure I will ever be the person I was before October 7th again.
Sundays are when I get my inspiration from songs and music. I debated whether to continue this week with that model or because of the 6-month mark of October 7th, to do something different. I spend time with a couple of Rabbis each week learning and one thing that has come across clearly and that resonates with me is that Judaism believes in hope and gratitude. So I decided to stick with music this week and pick a song that, for me, is entirely about gratitude and reinforces hope.
On day 184 of the hostages’ captivity, on the 6 month mark since October 7th, hope and gratitude are what I need. Hope that the hostages will be released soon. Hope that they are alive. Gratitude for the IDF and all those who risk everything to protect Israel and the Jewish people. Gratitude for our leaders who are speaking out publicly against Hamas and defending Israel’s right to defend herself. Hope that those who aren’t or who aren’t clear will get clarity and fight for good to defeat evil.
Don’t need no five-star reservations, I got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine. Don’t need no concert in the city, I got a stereo and the best of Patsy Cline
Ain’t got no caviar, no Dom Perignon, but as far as I can see, I got everything I want.
It’s a simple beginning focusing on all the things he doesn’t need. All the things that are materialistic but not important. As I sit here on day 184 of the hostages being in captivity and the 6-month mark of the terrorist attack on October 7th, I realize that none of the things that I thought were important on October 6th really are. I would trade the delicious food, the concerts and shows I attend, the nice cars I own for the safe return of the hostages. For the end of Hamas and the end of the war. For the safety of my friends and my friends’ children who are serving in the IDF. For those in Gaza who are innocent and suffering to have food, shelter, medicine, and a government that actually cares for them.
The Bibas kids – Kfir has spend nearly half his life as a hostage of Hamas
I am grateful for the health of my family. For my mom, my in-laws, my siblings and sisters/brothers in law, nieces and nephews, and family that isn’t by blood. I’m lucky that I want what I have rather than focusing on having what I want. The last 20 months, since my dad got sick and then died through the many changes in life, I have paid attention to what is really important to me. Family. Friends. Relationships. Health. As he sings, ‘as far as I can see, I have everything I want.’
‘Cause I got a roof over my head The woman I love laying in my bed And it’s alright (alright), alright I got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it’s alright (alright), alright, yeah I got all I need And it’s alright by me
The chorus reiterates this. The basics are what I need. A roof over my head, somebody I love in my life, clothes, and that powerful relationship. It’s what I need and when I focus on what I need, it’s certainly, “alright by me.”
I have heard the parents of hostages speak in person, on tv, and through interviews. One thing is very clear to me. They would trade EVERYTHING to get their loved one back. I have heard from people who lost loved ones on October 7th – either on the kibbutzim, at the Nova music festival, or trying to save the lives of people being attacked by the Hamas terrorists. They would give up everything to get their loved ones back. Many of them have said they would return to the kibbutz where they lived prior to October 7th but would never live in that house again. They need the roof over their head and the community that they love and love them, but they don’t need that specific home.
I have friends who had loved ones taken hostage that have since been released. When I talk to them, the appreciation they have for their loved one’s release and the empathy from those who have loved ones that have not been released. I have friends who still have loved ones that are hostages and the daily pain they endure is unthinkable. We often have these grandiose things that we want. The nice, new car. The bigger house. The vacation home. The exotic trip. The designer clothes, bag, shoes. I find myself, like the song says, caring about the things that money can’t buy. Health. Happiness. Family. I find myself grateful for the people who care about me and who I have the privilege of caring about. And while I am saddened by the people who I have learned don’t really care, it also frees me up to invest more of my time and my energy with the people who do.
Hila was released after being kept as a hostage the day before she turned 13. The look on her face is priceless as she gets her birthday and Hanukkah gifts from her worldwide Jewish family.
Maybe later on, we’ll walk down to the river Lay on a blanket and stare up at the moon It may not be no French Riviera But it’s all the same to me as long as I’m with you.
May be a simple life, but that’s okay If you ask me baby, I think I’ve got it made.
I have had the privilege in my life to do some amazing travel. Having been to Israel 20 times and my 21st coming up next month isn’t the extent of it. I’ve been to many of the islands in the Caribbean, as a another famous song says, “Aruba, Jamaica” and many, many more. I’ve been on cruises. I’ve been to Mexico and Canada, Italy (more than once), Turkey, Spain, Greece, England, Switzerland, Egypt, Thailand, Bali, and more. Every one of these trips was amazing. I got to see incredible sights and experience incredible cultures and food and meet wonderful people. And yet, I would much rather be with my loved ones and walk down to the lake. I’d rather lay on a blanket together and look up at the moon, spending time with them. I don’t need to go to the exotic places to get those special feelings.
I’m not saying I don’t love traveling (I do). And I’m not saying I’m going to stop traveling (I’m not). What I am saying is that I don’t want to miss the time with family and friends because of some exotic place. I get much more value from meeting my mom for lunch in Lakeland than eating at a café in Venice, Italy. I have more fun eating lunch with a bunch of friends at Portillo’s in Springfield, Illinois than I do at a gourmet restaurant in Istanbul. I love when we cook out at the beach or go as a large family out to dinner during our Greenberg family beach week much more than dinner at Big Itzik in Tel Aviv (and the food there is amazing).
Dinner at Big Itzik (Itzik HaGadol). The food is amazing and the salads are incredible
On day 184 of captivity, on the 6-month mark of the October 7th massacre, I know that the families of those taken hostage or murdered would much rather eat cheese sandwiches with their loved ones than a fancy meal. They’d rather sit in the living room with those in captivity or murdered than take an exotic trip. We live in a world where our priorities are messed up. We now value things so much we forget about the value of our friends and family until it’s too late.
On Friday I learned of the death of a friend and colleague. It wasn’t expected. It was a shock. He was a wonderful man, a friend, a colleague, and just a good human being. Salt of the earth. It was sudden. He was only 5 years older than me. We’ve known each other for around 20 years. It was devastating. It was shocking. I think what bothers me the most is that I don’t remember the last time we spoke. I think it was nearly a year ago in Atlanta. Not for any good reason. Life got busy. We knew we’d talk again. We knew the opportunity would occur. Until it didn’t. I don’t want to live my life that way any longer. I don’t want to regret the call I didn’t make once it is too late. I don’t want to regret the simple text or email to stay connected and make sure those who matter to me know they matter to me. That’s more important than anything else.
When I lay down at night, I thank the Lord above For giving me everything I ever could dream of
‘Cause I’ve got a roof over my head The woman I love laying in my bed And it’s alright, alright, alright, alright I got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it’s alright, alright, alright, yeah
I got all I need, yeah I got all I need And it’s alright by me, oh, yeah It’s alright by me, yeah, yeah, yeah
The last few lines and the chorus once again are powerful. God (or the Lord) is a challenging thing to talk about today. It tends to mean you are either an evangelical Christian, far right wing, a terrorist, a racist, you hate people who are different than you, or somebody who is trying to convert others to your beliefs. Yet it really means none of that.
I pray and meditate every day and have for decades. I have a relationship with God that is personal and meaningful. It’s my own and if you ask me about it, I’m happy to share mine and encourage you to have your own. And if you don’t want your own, that’s ok too. I no longer believe in the punishing God that I was raised with. I believe in a God that is loving, caring, and only wants the best for me. And that when the best doesn’t happen, it is never because of God, it’s always because of me. My favorite book, Illusions by Richard Bach, is a thought-provoking book which challenged my conventional thinking about God and the universe. It explores the nature of reality and perceived reality which led me to question my beliefs and consider new possibilities. In it, there are many sayings pulled from the handbook for life. My favorite is:
“Argue for your limitations and they are yours.”
Since reading the book the first time and reading that quote, I have challenged myself to not fight for my limitations and the limitations of God. It doesn’t mean I can do everything or even anything. It does mean that if I believe I can do it, I can do my best and it may just happen. And it may not happen. But if I argue before I do the work, it never happens. There are many of these gems in the book and at one point I wrote them on index cards and carried them with me to remind me of the lessons.
I thank God every day for the blessings in my life. The relationship I had with my dad. The relationship I have with my mom. My family, my wife, my children, my siblings and sister/brother in laws. My nieces and nephews. My cousins. My family that isn’t blood but is just as close. My friends. A roof over my head. Shoes under my feet. Food to eat.
Many years ago, when I was not yet 21, a friend told me to write down what I wanted in the next year and seal it in an envelope. A year later, we opened it together and I was amazing. My list was incredibly short sited. I had asked and hoped for far less than I actually got. I had argued for my limitations when I wrote the list but didn’t in my life. As a result, I got far more.
On day 184, the 6-month mark since October 7th, we can’t argue for the IDF or Israel’s limitations. They can do what they need to do to protect Israel and the Jewish people. They can do what they need to free the hostages. They will do what is needed to eliminate the evil that is Hamas.
At the end of the day, I do have all that I need and it is alright with me. I’m filled with gratitude and hope, despite the horrors of October 7th, the horrors of war, and the captivity of innocent civilians. We, as a people, will continue to survive and thrive and will do what is needed.
This week is another Tim McGraw song. This one, “Humble and Kind”, is from 2016, once again highlighting how far behind I am in discovering country music legends. I chose this for many reasons, as you will see below. If you want to watch the video, I have included it.
The lyrics begin:
You know there’s a light that glows by the front door Don’t forget the key’s under the mat When childhood stars shine Always stay humble and kind
Growing up, the key was always under the mat. At my house or at my friends’ homes. Everybody knew it, nobody took advantage. It was a different time. More than just having a key under the mat, the door was always open if you needed a place to go. Many times, I had friends who needed to get out of their house and a safe place to hang out and sleep over. My house was that place. My parents would often joke that they didn’t know who was staying for dinner or who was gonna be there for breakfast. They cared only to the extent that they wanted our house to always be a safe place for our friends.
It was a great lesson growing up. Treat everybody the same. It doesn’t matter what their home life is like, how much money they have, what type of prestige their family may or may not have. People are people, friends are friends. It was one of my first lessons in kindness and has left a deep impact on me and my siblings. It was also a lesson in humility, one that I didn’t really understand until much later in life. My parents didn’t do this for recognition. It wasn’t something that was publicized amongst their peers in the neighborhood. It was private. It was personal. It was about taking care of the kids, our friends, and making sure they had what they needed. It was truly them being humble and kind. It is why my childhood friends all have such strong respect and love for my parents to this day.
Go to church ’cause your mamma says to Visit grandpa every chance that you can It won’t be wasted time Always stay humble and kind
This verse highlights three very important things. First, listen to your parents. When I reached my teens, all of a sudden I was brilliant and knew everything. My parents knew nothing. Listening to their guidance became optional for me and they had to force me to listen with threats of being grounded, losing access to a car, money, or the ability to go and do the things I wanted to do. So, in this little, throw-away addition to the first line, the lesson is provided. Listen to your parents. They may seem old, boring, and not up to date with what’s happening in the world today. And they may be. But they also have the wisdom of life’s experiences and can help you avoid many pitfalls. I often ask myself what my parents would say to me and when I am not sure, I call my mom for her guidance. I always wish I could still call my dad.
Charles Barkely, one of my favorite commentators on life, puts his own spin on this
The second lesson is the importance of spirituality in our lives. It doesn’t matter if you prefer church, synagogue, the mosque, temple, nature, the beach, or anything else. Finding spirituality in your life provides a grounding base for life. Life is filled with ups and downs, risks, and consequences. Having that spiritual base provides comfort. It opens the door to supportive relationships with others on that spiritual journey. As we go on the journey of life, having a spiritual base anchors us, and provides us stability. So, listen to your mamma, go to church (or synagogue or the mosque or the temple or experience nature or the beach), and build a spiritual base. As you get older you can pick your own spiritual journey if the one you started on with your family doesn’t resonate.
Finally, visit grandpa. It’s not just grandpa. It is grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, and all your relatives. The time spent with family isn’t wasted time. As I think of my childhood, growing up spending significant time with all four of my grandparents, my great grandmother Rose, my aunts and uncles, and my cousins, I am so grateful for it. I think of going with my grandpa Si to visit his father, my ‘Poppy’. Poppy was already in his 90s when I remember him. He didn’t move well, he didn’t speak much. We would go over to see him, for my grandpa to give him a shave, and for me to sit on his lap as his great grandson. I remember the day he died and how sad I was to not be able to see him any longer. I was only six years old and when I talk about him with my brother, who is three years younger than me, he doesn’t even remember visiting him.
With my Grandpa Si. I have great pictures and memories with all my grandparents.
I think of the many lessons all of my grandparents taught me. Their love, guidance and support is something that I treasure. I watched my parents with my children emulate them. I watched the way my in-laws interact as their parents did with my wife and her sisters. It becomes a generational connection with the lessons of family, love, respect, honor, humility, and kindness being transmitted from one generation to another. I look forward to the day when I become a grandfather and have that opportunity to fulfill that role. I know that my great-grandparents, my grandparents, and my parents will be on my shoulders guiding me, helping to ensure that my grandchildren are also humble and kind people as they grow up and enter the world.
My sister called me today to talk about our Grandma Esther, who died more than 25 years ago. That’s a true legacy.
Hold the door, say “please”, say “thank you” Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie I know you got mountains to climb But always stay humble and kind
My Grandma Ev and my mom, her daughter, were always on us about manners. Holding the door. Saying please and thank you. Writing thank you notes. Helping to clean up after meals. If we ever referred to my mom as ‘she’, we were told that is the cat (we never had a cat) and were to use proper names. I can still hear them saying, “What’s the magic word?” (the answer is please), I remember in middle school when we took home economics, the issue of manners was an easy one for me because it was drilled into me at home. It’s something that I have endeavored to do with my children as well. It doesn’t take much to have manners, just some effort.
Grandpa Len, Grandma Ev, Grandma Esther and Grandpa Si. That’s me with the big grin. I’m so lucky to have had the relationship with them that I did.
The other lesson this part of the song highlights for me is to have morals and ethics. My grandparents would emphasize this all the time. Who you are when nobody is looking is who you are. What you do when nobody sees is what shows your morals, values, and ethics. If you want to be a good person, then you do it all the time, not just when people are watching. The future is unlimited, and we were taught not to take shortcuts to get there. No stealing, cheating, or lying. We learned early on that we got in much more trouble for lying than telling the truth. I remember getting caught cheating on a test in high school and getting in much more trouble for that than failing the exam and getting a bad grade that marking period. As kids, when we would take something from a store without paying, we were made to not just return it but to apologize to the store owner. Raising my children, I have done the same thing and shared the same messages. I’m proud of the people my sons are. How they live their lives and live their values. And I know my grandparents are looking down and smiling, knowing it was their influence.
We have bright and exciting futures ahead of us, no matter where we are in life. It’s important to remember that throughout the journey we must remain humble and kind.
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you When the work you put in is realized Let yourself feel the pride But always stay humble and kind
As I just wrote, we have bright and exciting futures. In the words of Theodore Herzl, “If you will it, it is no dream.” So, the dreams we have require work to realize. My grandparents and parents always taught me that. The effort was more important than the results since the only thing we can control is our own effort. When I got an A but didn’t study, it didn’t impress my parents. If I worked really hard and ended up with a B, they were incredibly proud. The same was true in sports. Working hard to improve was more important than being the star. It’s the work you put in that means everything. It also may result in achieving your dreams.
The full Theodore Herzl Quote
I remember my first semester in grad school, I got 2 A’s and 2 B’s. My advisor called me to his office and told me that serious graduate students didn’t get B’s. I took that to heart and for the rest of that degree, I worked harder and got all A’s. It was the effort that mattered.
This lyric reminds us of that. We can be proud of our results. Graduating high school, college, graduate school, law school, medical school, or building a successful business are all wonderful achievements. The important part is the work we put in. So go ahead and feel the pride of the accomplishment but more importantly, recognize the effort that went into achieving the goal. That’s what really matters. So don’t be full our ourselves for the accomplishment. Instead, be humble and kind, because it’s the effort that really matters, not the accomplishment. Celebrate the effort, appreciate the gift of the accomplishment.
Don’t expect a free ride from no one Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why Bitterness keeps you from flyin’ Always stay humble and kind
I love how these lyrics build off each other. Just as I finish writing about how it’s the effort that matters, not the outcome, the song emphasizes this with stating there is no free ride. Nobody gives you anything, it’s all earned. So if you are going to have to earn what you get, don’t hold grudges or live with a chip on your shoulder. Living with bitterness only diminishes ourselves. It doesn’t hurt the other person. It’s like being angry at somebody and punching yourself in the face. They don’t feel a thing, but we sure do.
If our goal in life is to enjoy every minute, why would we want to limit ourself because of other people? Why would we want to let other people rent space in our heads without paying for it? That’s why the song reminds us to stay humble and kind. By doing that, we aren’t letting somebody else control our lives. We aren’t giving our power away to somebody we don’t even like. It’s an important life lesson for happiness. Often we think that our ego will make us feel good when in reality, it’s being humble and kind, focusing on our own part and not worrying about other people’s behavior.
Know the difference between sleeping with someone And sleeping with someone you love “I love you” ain’t no pick-up line So always stay humble and kind
‘”I love you” ain’t no pick-up line’ is such a powerful statement. In today’s world, love becomes a word that is thrown around too often and recklessly. It was the key word to use when you were trying to sleep with somebody. Telling them you loved them was the key statement. If you were able to throw that out there, sex was the likely outcome. But then you were stuck with the impact of your words.
It reminds me of one of my favorite songs, Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf.
How often do I get to use a song as I analyze the lyrics of another song? In Paradise, the end of the song is the perfect example of this.
I couldn’t take it any longer Lord I was crazed And when the feeling came upon me Like a tidal wave I started swearing to my god and on my mother’s grave That I would love you to the end of time I swore that I would love you to the end of time! So now I’m praying for the end of time To hurry up and arrive ‘Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you I don’t think that I can really survive I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow But God only knows what I can do right now I’m praying for the end of time It’s all that I can do Praying for the end of time, So I can end my time with you!
The risk of throwing the phrase ‘I love you’ out there recklessly is that if you have morals and ethics, you get stuck. Meatloaf said it to get what he wanted and now is ‘praying for the end of time.” Our desires to sleep with someone instead of sleeping with someone you love can be compared to many of our choices where we go against our morals, ethics, and values. When we stick to them, when we remain humble and kind, we don’t have to worry about praying for the end of time. Kindness and humility doesn’t just help others, it helps us.
When it’s hot, eat a root beer popsicle Shut off the AC and roll the windows down Let that summer sun shine Always stay humble and kind
As the song begins to conclude, the lyrics get more general about life itself Appreciate what we have when we have it. When its hot, have something cool. Enjoy the moment. Don’t worry about what we don’t have, focus on what we have. Grab the opportunity with two hands and enjoy every moment of it.
I remember growing up and spending summers at my grandparents’ house. The ice cream (or Good Humor as my grandfather would say) man would come every day and getting that popsicle or ice cream on a hot afternoon was everything. It was simple. It was delicious. It was special. Asking for that dime (and then quarter as I got older, and prices went up) was a big deal. Running after the truck, catching it, and walking away satisfied made the entire day. It’s hard to believe today, but AC wasn’t a given back then. Fans would be moving the air, windows would be open, and we would wear shorts and t-shirts. TV was only on at night, starting with the news. That summer sun shone and we took advantage of it and enjoyed every moment.
It’s a life lesson for today. Forget about video games, screens, monitors, and staying inside. Sit outside and read a book. Go for a walk. Play outside with friends. Go for a swim. Be with other people in person. Don’t use zoom or facetime or internet and headphones with a video game. Be in person. Interact with other people. Pay attention to their nonverbal communication because you are really ‘with’ them, not just in the same place virtually.
Be humble about the toys and the technology. Be kind with your time. There is nothing like being together in person with people. Don’t ever forget that.
Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you When you get where you’re going don’t forget turn back around And help the next one in line Always stay humble and kind
The closes with an important reminder. Don’t take things for granted. Don’t expect there will always be time to say what you want to people. To get together with people. Don’t take for granted the people who love you and who go out of their way to help in any way they can.
When you reach new status in life, don’t forget the people who were there along the way. If you move to a nicer house, in a different neighborhood, don’t forget your friends who were there for you during the times you lived in your old house in your old neighborhood. If your life changes to where you are now traveling to exotic places where some of your old friends can’t go, don’t leave them behind. Make the time to be with them and enjoy every minute in the places you can both be at. The one thing we know is that life will change. Our circumstances will change and be different from our friends and loved ones. The question is will we change? Will we still talk to the people we talked to every day before things changed? Will we judge them for the difference in status or accept and love them for who they are? We may not notice our behavior, but they will. And when we need them in the future, they won’t forget that we forgot them. People are not disposable.
The final two lines focus on three things, two of which we have repeatedly discussed and will close with. Humble and Kind. The other is helping others. It often takes very little to help somebody else. Holding a door, sharing an umbrella, giving somebody a ride, letting them use your phone. So many little things happen every single day where we have the opportunity to lighten up somebody else’s day with a little kindness and humility. The three go together to make the type of world we all want to live in. Don’t shirk your responsibility. Remember to help. Remember to be humble. And remember to be kind.
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