On the Map

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

This week I had a business meeting with filmmaker Dani Merkin in Boca.  I was introduced to him through a friend but didn’t know much about him or his work.  His newest project sounded interesting so I wanted to see if I could help.  He was in Florida for a showing of his 2016 movie, On the Map along with Israeli basketball icon, Tal Brody.  I met Tal a few times in random occasions and it was great to see him again for a few minutes during the meeting.  During the meeting with Dani, we not only discussed his new project but also talked about On the Map, a movie about the 1977 Israeli team that won the European basketball championship.  As a sports fan who is Jewish and that grew up in the 70s and early 80s, I knew the team had won the championship but didn’t know the story.  Dani graciously sent me a screener to watch the film.

Tal Brody and me

I watched the film and something happened that I did not expect.  I got incredibly emotional.  The story, from 1977, had so many links to what is happening in our world today.  In the movie, they talked openly about the Yom Kippur war of 1973, “the worst attack on the Jewish people since the Holocaust.”  Unfortunately, today we know that the worst attack on the Jewish people since the Holocaust is now October 7, 2023. 

I knew that in 1977, the USSR was persecuting the Jews who lived there.  We all knew about the Refuseniks and our Jewish hero, Anatoly (now Natan) Sharansky.  We prayed for them in synagogue.  There were marches and rallies in DC. There were local rallies.  We raised money for them.  As a 9-year-old boy, I didn’t know that they refused to play the Israeli team in the European championships because they didn’t recognize Israel’s existence.  They wouldn’t play in Israel and they wouldn’t play in Moscow.  Today, it is South Africa stripping the captaincy from the Jewish player on their cricket team because of Israel.  The International Ice Hockey Federation removed the Israeli team from its competitions until under massive pressure, they relented and just this week restored them.  Israeli and Jewish athletes are facing problems all over the world just to compete.  There are musicians who refuse to play concerts in Israel.  I have a list of actors and musicians that I won’t support, won’t watch their movies or tv shows, won’t listen to their music, because of their hatred of Israel.  Have we really made any progress since 1977?

My friend Todd Sukol and I meeting the iconic Anatoly Natan Sharanksy

In 1977, FIBA, The International Basketball Federation, pressured the Soviet Union to play the Israeli team.  After much negotiation, they agreed on the condition that the game was played in Virton, Belgium, a small out of the way town.  The arena only held about 400 fans, almost all of the Israeli fans.  It was truly a David vs. Goliath match as the powerhouse Red Army team, had won the FIBA Euro Cup Championship in 1961, 1963, 1969 and 1971.  Nobody, except the Israeli team, thought they could actually win against the Russians.  In the film, Ambassador Michael Oren talks about how just getting the game played was a win. 

Ambassador Michael Oren – he will be here in Orlando in February 2024 for the JNF event!

Today it seems like just getting people to remember the hostages held in captivity by Hamas, underground in tunnels, is a herculean effort.  As Kfir Bibas celebrated his 1st birthday as a hostage in the tunnels, the world mainly remains silent.  As Hamas announces the murder of Yossi Sharabi and Itay Svirsky, hostages in Hamas captivity, South Africa is accusing Israel of Genocide.  As Israel dropped leaflets and made phone calls to warn civilians of upcoming bombings, Hamas refused to let the civilians leave, uses human shields, turns hospitals, mosques, schools and homes into military targets, it’s Israel being accused of war crimes.  The groups who support women’s rights and speak out against sexual violence, fail to do so because they are Jewish and Israeli women.  Just as in 1977 when Israel was held to a different standard and not recognized, today it is the same. 

In 1977, there was a lot going on in the world.  As Israel was still dealing with the impact of the 1973 Yom Kippur War, the United States still dealing with the impact of Watergate, the Viet Nam war,  and the oil crisis.  Israel was dealing with the Dollar Account Affair scandal while in the United States we had the impact of Elvis dying.  Today there is a lot going on in the world.  The Ukraine-Russia war, the border crisis, the impact of Covid-19 and inflation over the past 3+ years, the Israel-Gaza war.  The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

Tal Brody, Israel’s Mr. Basketball is an amazing story.  A star player who was the first round pick of the Baltimore Bullets, he elected to move to Israel and play Israeli basketball instead.  Both David Stern (z’l) and Bill Walton, talk about how extraordinary what he did was.  It was unheard of.  When drafted by the US army, he served 2 years in Viet Nam to complete his service before returning to Israel to play.   He had decided to retire and everybody knew it.  Just before the championship game against Italy, who had won the championship 6 of the prior 10 years, his father had a heart attack and was in ICU in New Jersey.  He flew home to be with his father.  Nobody knew if he would be back in time for the championship game.  This game was why he went to play in Israel.  To bring Maccabi Tel Aviv from a team that lost in the first round to a team that could compete for championships.  And yet, days before he flew across the world to be with his father.  When his father awoke, he told him to go back.  There was nothing he could do sitting with his father but he had an important role to play for Israel and the Jewish people.  So he went to the airport to pick up his ticket to fly to the game however there was no ticket there.  Luckily, one of the managers of the airline knew who he was from watching him play and put him on the plane, without a ticket, so he was able to get back to the team 24 hours before gametime.

Just like Tal, we all have important roles to play in our life.  As parents, children, siblings, spouses, friends, mentors, bosses, and employees.  Knowing what they are and balancing them is where the challenge comes in.  Tal knew he had to be with his dad.  His dad knew that Tal needed to be with his teammates, playing for Israel and the Jewish people.  We often make mistakes when we confuse our important roles because we think we know best.  Just like Tal had his coach and teammates say go see your dad, he also had his dad to say, no go be with your teammates and play the role you need to for Israel and the Jewish people.  We have those people in our lives, and it is so critical to listen to them.  When my dad got sick, I knew I had to play the role of son first.  I had to do what I could to help my dad and support my mom before anything else.  Once I did what I could, I needed to be husband, father, brother, uncle, employee, and supervisor.  After my dad died and shiva ended, one of the hardest things for me was leaving my mother’s house to come home to mine.  My primary role as my mother’s support had changed and as difficult as it was to return to my life and my other roles, I had to do it.  Our roles are fluid, as Tal showed.  He went from the star of the team and Mr. Israeli Basketball to son to player on the team all in a week.  We do that all the time and again, like Tal, need to use our support system to help us with those transitions.

My role taking care of my dad. When my dad could finally eat non-hospital food, I ordered him this. I can still hear his voice as he enjoyed it and it still puts a smile on my face. 

My rolse as son with my mom

My role as dad. Taking my son Matthew to go watch my son Evan coach college football and the obligitory ‘dad takes college kids out to eat’ photo.

My role as mentor with Shelley Greenspan who is now the Biden Administration’s Liaison to the Jewish community. 

As a huge sports fan who grew up in the 1970’s and 1980’s, the US Olympic Hockey team of 1980 is burned into my being.  “Do you believe in miracles?   Yes!!’ is as loud in my head today as it was coming from Al Michaels through my TV set in 1980.  Mike Eruzione and Jim Craig are childhood heros.  Herb Brooks was the epitome of a coach we all wanted growing up.  Mark Johnson, Dave Silk, and Buzz Johnson were personal favorites.   Dave Christian, Ken Morrow, Mike Ramsey, Neal Broten were future NHL stars I followed throughout their careers.   44 years later, I remember their names and what they accomplished.

One of the greatest, if not the greatest, call of all time. ”Do you believe in Miracles? Yes!!” I still get chills.

As a Jew, the names that were burned into my head were not athletes.  They were Moshe Dayan, who I spoke about at my Bar Mitzvah and was a huge fan of Maccabi Tel Aviv, David Ben Gurion, Golda Meir, Menachem Begin, Anatoly Sharansky, Yitzhak Rabin, Yoni Netanyahu (the only Israeli casualty of the raid on Entebbe and Bibi’s older brother).  They were political and military leaders.  They were the founders of Israel.  Quite different.  Yet now I have new names to match the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team.  They are part of the 1977 Israeli European Champions Cup winning basketball team. 

Ralph Klein, a Holocaust survivor who was the head coach of the team.

Tal Brody, an American who gave up an NBA career to put Israel ‘on the map’.

Aulcie Perry, an American who was the last cut by the Knicks in 1977, resulting in him playing in Israel.  Aulcie, an African American man, converted to Judaism. Dani made a movie about him that I now need to see.

Jim Boatwright, an American who made the key shots in the championship game

Miki Berkovich, an Israeli with an incredibly sweet jump shot

Eric Minkin, Bob Griffin, and Lou Silver, a group of Americans committed to Israel and Israeli basketball.

Motti Oresti, Shuki Schwartz, Eyal Yaffe, Eran Arad, and Hanan Indibo, the Israeli players who were the rest of the team.

When this team won the European Cup Championship, Israel exploded in joy.  While Prime Minister Rabin resigned that same day, the country was filled with pride and joy.  We can learn from the players, coaches, and the citizens of Israel in 1977 that despite, or perhaps because of what happened on October 7, 2023, we need to be proud of being Jewish.  We have an obligation, just like the players on that team did, to show that we belong in a world that often times doesn’t want us and doesn’t think we deserve to exist. 

There are many key moments in Israeli history that I always think of.

The signing of the Declaration of Independence

The Six Day War

The 1972 Munich Olympics

Entebbe

The 1977 visit of Egyptian President Anwar Sadat to Jerusalem

The Camp David Accords

To these I now add the 1977 European Championship winning Maccabi Tel Aviv team.

Tal Brody with the championship cup

Moshe Dayan, a big fan of the team, greeting them before a game

The team photo

The 50th anniversary of the team championship

Anger, Rage, Love, Hope

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

On Sunday Jan 14, 2024, it will officially be 100 days since the violent attacks by Hamas resulting in the murder, mutilation, rape, burning, and kidnapping of Israelis.  There remain 132 people held hostage by Hamas in Gaza including infants, toddlers, children, women, and the elderly.  They have not been provided their medication in 100 days.  They have been held in underground tunnels for 100 days.  Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays have come and gone while they are being held captive.  For the past hundred days the attacks on October 7th, the murders, mutilation, rape, burning, and kidnapping of my Jewish and non-Jewish brothers and sisters just because they were in Israel has weighed heavy on me. 

I ordered a new Magen David (Star of David) from Israel that I wear.  I got two dogtags from Israel, one saying “Bring them Home Now” in English and Hebrew, the other quoting released hostage Mia Schem, taken from the Nova music festival, and her tattoo, boldly stating, “We will dance again.” I want to fly an Israeli flag at my house, however due to the rise in antisemitism and the fears of my family, I don’t. 

This rise in antisemitism has fueled my anger and rage.  Seeing what’s happening on campus and watching and listening to then President of The University of Pennsylvania, Liz Magill, then President of Harvard College, Claudine Gay, and President of MIT, Sally Kornbluth refuse to state that calls for the genocide of Jews would violate their University’s code of contact was infuriating and unbelievable. 

Watching some members of the US House of Representatives who previously stood strongly against sexual violence keep silent because the victims were Jews burns in my gut.  People shamelessly throwing around words like ‘ethnic cleansing’ and ‘genocide’ without knowing the definition or the proper application has fire in my eyes.  When South Africa has the nerve to charge Israel with genocide at the International Criminal Court my body cramped and ached with exhaustion.  Israel, and the Jewish people, are being singled out compared to every other group or nation and excluded from protection.

When Germany, of all nations, comes out with a strong statement in support of Israel, clearly stating they are not involved in genocide, it provides relief.  When Canada stands up and says that while they believe in the process of the International Criminal Court, it “does not mean we support the premise of the case brought forward by South Africa.” it is both surprising because of recent events in Canada and relief that they are doing what’s right.  When the U.K. calls these claims “unjustified’ it generates major news.  The United States has called these claims ‘unfounded’.  It took watching and listening to Dr. Tal Becker’s incredible opening statement, 30 minutes of powerful and clear statements, to truly provide me with some relief.

This is not the way I lived my life prior to October 7, 2023.  It’s not how I want to live my life today.  Yet the realities of what occurred on October 7th and what has happened since, have me struggling on a daily basis.  I was talking with a friend on Friday over coffee who saw the 47-minute Hamas video with me about the experience.  She commented on how she hasn’t been able to process it with anybody because they can’t imagine the horrors she witnessed.  And how some of the images will never leave her memory.  I feel the same way and some of the images that have deeply disturbed her are the same that deeply disturb me. 

So how do I move forward?  How do I find inspiration and hope in a world that continues to suck hope and joy out with such incredible hate.  How do I get past these feelings when I already know where I will go and who will hide me and my family if that time should ever come?  How do I come to accept that not only have I had that thought but spoken to that person who agreed to do it?  That in 2024, in the United States of America, I feel so unsafe that I need to have a secure place to hide.  That the hatred of Jews is so strong and accepted that people feel safe screaming it from the top of lungs in public settings.

I have found inspiration in three places.   The first is the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.  A true leader in times when the African American community was facing the same type of public hatred, he remained a beacon of light.  Nearly 56 years after his assassination, his words, spirit, and leadership remain powerful.  How fitting is that as I write this, it is the weekend celebrating his birth.  Dr. King has many famous quotes that are filled with inspiration.  So many inspired me.  I picked 5 that speak to me now.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

We must walk on in the days ahead with an audacious faith in the future.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

You will notice that 3 of the 5 relate to love instead of hatred.  It’s easy to be filled with hate after October 7th and the 100 days the hostages have been kept.  It’s easy to hate when the Red Cross refuses to see the hostages or get them medicine.  It’s easy to hate after watching the 47-minute Hamas video.  Yet hatred, as Dr. King states, is a burden, paralyzes, confuses, and darkens life.  As I struggle with my anger and rage, Dr. King inspires me to be better and to do better.  He reminds me that those who are sincerely ignorant and consciously stupid are dangerous and I have an obligation to continue to learn and to educate others.  And most importantly, he reminds me that I must have faith in the future and focus on love, not hate.

The second may be seen by some as controversial.  Joe Paterno was more than a football coach.  The investment he put into his players as people is legendary.  I know so many people who weren’t players who had interactions with him and his focus was always about being better people.  What type of person do you want to be?  What type of parent?  Spouse?  I have friends who played on his teams and they all talk about how he invested in them as people.  Due to the Sandusky scandal, the statue of him was removed.  Penn State fans want it back and recently I read something about it once again.  The thought came to me that were he still alive, the statue wouldn’t be something he cared about.  But the type of people he coached and how they live their lives today is something he’d care about.  One of my middle and high school friends who was on the team from 1985-1990 is a great example.  Darryl is also in coaching and has been a mentor to my son Evan.  Along with being a friend to me, he is always available to help Evan.  I have seen the way he interacts with the players he coaches and like Joe Paterno, he cares about them as people first.  As I struggle with the feelings since October 7th, I think of the lessons from Coach Paterno and how that relates.  “Success with honor” was one of key goals for Coach Paterno.  It’s also how the IDF behaves.  They have their mission however they go above and beyond to what they can to ensure civilians aren’t harmed.  Unfortunately, Hamas does everything they can to ensure that civilians are harmed.  Coach Paterno had to compete against those who cheated.  Israel has to fight against Hamas who uses hospitals, schools, mosques, and homes as military bases.  Yet neither Coach Paterno nor the IDF compromise their values even when it makes things more difficult. 

The third place I find my inspiration is from my father.  I had a very close relationship with my father and when he died in September 2022, it had a huge impact on me.  My dad always focused on what you do, not what you say.  He focused on family and how important it is.  He cared about people and was always there as a resource to anybody and everybody.  As I struggle with these feelings, I often hear my dad in my head, giving me advice and guidance.  I have wanted to go to Israel since October 7th but my family is too concerned about safety and doesn’t want me to go.  I hear my dad telling me that as much as I want to go, as much as I need to go for myself, nothing is more important than family.  I know he would tell me to do what I can from here and be grateful that I can do things from here, even if it isn’t what I would prefer to do.  As I struggle with the anger and rage, he would tell me to focus on the beauty in my life, my family, my friends, and appreciate what I have rather than be consumed with anger and hate.  Like Dr. King, my dad focused on love and light.  I miss him terribly but even now, he is helping me deal with these feelings.

My brother, my dad, and me. He was my mentor and idol and he continues to teach me every day.

Today was the Ride for Israel in town.  Some wonderful community members put it together and a large crowd showed up for motorcycle and cars driving with Israeli flags, signs, and more throughout Orlando.  For two hours we drove all around town as people honked in support.  We had a great crowd and it felt good to be together as a community in support of Israel and the Kibbutzim that were attacked on October 7th.  It was a day of love, hope, community, friendship and fun.  As I struggle with the feelings post October 7th, it’s things like this along with the inspiration from Dr. King, Joe Paterno, and my dad that get me through it. 

Leaders of the Ride for Israel. What an incredible day.

I do believe and have hope for the future.  And perhaps that hope is what will get me through these challenging days.

Inspiring art and words from Joanne Fink

Sacrifice and the Zac Brown Band

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I have loved the Zac Brown Band since I first heard their music.  There is a great energy and it’s fun to listen and sing along.  The lyrics tend to be upbeat and happy just like the music.  As I was listening to one of their biggest hits, Chicken Fried, last night, a section of the lyrics hit me very differently than ever before.  It’s because of October 7th and the aftermath of the Israel-Hamas war, the incredible rise of antisemitism and Jew hatred in this country, and what is happening on college campuses.

The lyrics I refer to are:

I thank God for my life and for the stars and stripes. May freedom forever fly, let it ring. Salute the ones who died. The ones that give their lives, so we don’t have to sacrifice all the things we love. Like our chicken fried and cold beer on a Friday night. A pair of jeans that fit just right and the radio up.

I have always loved those lyrics because as an American, I am truly grateful for those who serve in our military.  I do thank God for my life, for the freedom that exists in America, and for the sacrifices those who serve make every day so that I get to live such a wonderful life.  I truly believe in the slogan, “Home of the free Because of the Brave”.

As I listened to them now, I heard something very different because of what’s going on in Israel.  I have many friends who are currently serving in the IDF in Gaza or in the north, recalled from the reserves.  I have many friends who have children who were recalled from the reserves or are currently serving in the IDF.  I have friends whose relatives were taken hostage by Hamas or were murdered by Hamas on October 7th.  I have connections to a number of IDF soldiers who have died in the war. 

The lines “Salute the ones who died.  The ones that gave their lives, so we don’t have to sacrifice all the things that we love.” really bothered me this time.  As I thought of how Israel recalled 300,000 reservists and expected no more than 250,000 to show up, yet 360,000 actually did show up.  When I think of the hostages still kept in Gaza by Hamas and the IDF soldiers valiantly fighting hand to hand combat to try to rescue them, it’s hard to align that with us not wanting to sacrifice the things we love.  In Israel, they are sacrificing the things they love for the future of Israel and the Jewish people.  They are willing to sacrifice their loved ones.  Their parents, children, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends in defense of Israel and the Jewish people.  They’d gladly sacrifice some comfort food, a cold beer, a comfortable pair of jeans and loud music to get their loved ones back.

I started thinking of all the things we take for granted in our lives and all the people who sacrifice in order for us to have them.  The ability to go to a summer camp as a child.  It wasn’t inexpensive and my parents and grandparents had to sacrifice so we could go.  I went to Jewish Day School for a year, my brother for many years.  We all know private school, especially Jewish private schools, are not inexpensive. Yet another sacrifice.  As parents, my wife and I made the decision that we did not want our kids working while in school. This included college.  Their primary job was school and their education, with their involvement in other things as a secondary priority.  They could work if they wanted but only if their schoolwork, their primary job, was strong. It meant we took care of their spending money, car insurance, etc.  Not a huge sacrifice but we felt an important one. 

My CIT year at Camp Airy (with the girls who were CITs at Camp Louise). What a magical summer. My many years at summer camp only came with sacrifice from my parents and grandparents.

Working as a camp counselor after years of being a camper. I’m still in touch with a number of these guys nearly 40 years later. Thanks mom and dad, grandma and grandpa.

As I am contemplating sacrifice and how, as Americans, we are so entitled, I learned about another example.  Idan Amedi, a well-known Israeli singer and actor, who starred in the amazing TV show Fauda’s as Sagi, was seriously injured in Gaza while voluntarily serving in the IDF. Despite having every excuse not to fight, Idan felt it was his duty to protect his country.   Can you imagine Mark Ruffalo, Brad Pitt, Melissa Barrera, Kanye West or Gigi and Bella Hadid doing this? Can you imagine Susan Sarandon letting her children defend the country?  They are happy to take their money and speak out without knowledge but actually make a sacrifice?

Idan Amedi, known by many as the character Sagi from Fauda. 

Highlighting Idan, a celebrity and entertainer, is the American way to view things.  In Israel, Idan is no different that the father or mother who leaves their family, the business owner who leaves their business not knowing what will be there when they return or many other Israelis who put the country first rather than allowing others to make the sacrifice for them.. 

When I think about things like chicken fried, cold beer, jeans that fit right or loud music in this context, I get angry.  Why?  Because of the things that we choose to matter are really so unimportant, so shallow, especially with hostages still held in Gaza by Hamas. These innocent people who were kidnapped and have been held in brutal conditions for over 100 days.  Kfir Babis turned 1 year old this week, having spent a quarter of his life as a hostage, living underground. 

Kfir at 8 or 9 months old just before being taken as a hostage by Hamas. We can only hope and pray he is still alive now that he turned 1 in captivity.

Karin Ariev, Daniela Gilboa, and Agam Berger, all 19 years old, and Liri Albag, 18 years old, brutalized by Hamas for more than 3 months. We can’t imagine how they are being treated. We cannot forget them.

I think about the atrocities on October 7th and the promises to continue to do it again and again and again by Hamas leadership and I understand, as much as I can living in America, the need for sacrifice. I’ve seen the 47 minute Hamas video. This story below is horrifying but shows the evil of Hamas and why we must never allow evil to continue, even at great personal and communal sacrifice

WARNING – this is hard to listen to so before you hit play, be prepared.

The hostages have not been seen by the Red Cross.  They have not been given medicine.  No human rights organizations are crying for their release or to see them.  You can read what the hostages who have been released report it was like and imagine how much worse it is for those 136.  Do they know there are people in the world who care about them, or do they feel forgotten?  They surely don’t care about a cold beer, chicken fried food, a pair of jeans, or listening to music.  They are paying a horrible price in the fight for Israel and the Jewish people.

 A total of 136 people remain as hostages in Gaza, held by Hamas, after being kidnapped.Their names are listed here. We must never forget them and remember their names and that each one of them is a person with a family.


It’s a lesson to us about priorities and taking responsibility.  In the world we live in, with the situation and challenges we face in America, perhaps learning to take personal responsibility and to serve the greater good is what is sorely needed.

I became obsessed with the writing and thoughts of Kareem Abdul Jabbar a few years ago.  He always makes me think just a little deeper.  In his most recent writing, he highlights a quote from Taika Waititi’s recent soccer movie Next Goal Wins. As Kareem writes, “an American coach is being punished for his on-field outbursts by being assigned to coach a team from American Samoa that not only has never won a game but never scored a single goal. The hard-drinking loner lost in grief for his dead daughter is soon welcomed into the local community where their warmth and love heals him. At one point, the coach tells the local man who has helped him understand the Samoan way of life that he can’t win the game. The man’s response: “Then lose. But don’t lose alone, lose with us.”

In Israel, the people are fighting together.  Politics have been put aside.  Personal grievances are not important.  The wants and needs of the individual are not the focus but the needs of the country are front and center.  The required sacrifice of every person who lives there is something to aspire to.  Jew, Muslim, Christian, Druze, it doesn’t matter.  They are all Israelis and will win or lose together.  They are committed to doing everything they can to win because losing isn’t an option, just like losing alone isn’t an option for the Samoan talking to the coach in the movie. It often seems that in America, we’d rather lose alone.

The song Chicken Fried is lighthearted and meant to be.  Yet there is a powerful lesson to be learned about allowing others to make major sacrifices for our personal pleasure.  I’m grateful to those that keep us safe so we get to live the way do, but I won’t ever take them for granted.  One of my favorite camp counselors was a Viet Nam veteran and I personally saw the impact of the war on him as well as the lack of support he, and those who served, got from the public when they returned. Its something I will never forget. I pray for a quick, safe, and successful end to the war in Gaza, I also pray for the families of and those serving in both the IDF and the US military, for the families of those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, and for those still held in captivity and their families by Hamas. 

Perhaps the lyrics should really be

I thank God for my life and for the stars and stripes. May freedom forever fly, let it ring. Salute the ones who died. The ones that give their lives, and those who continue to serve, so we can continue to live in freedom. Like our freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, and the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

It’s not as catchy, but sure rings truer.

I took this picture myself and wanted to end this post with something hopeful and beautiful. Being there and just looking at the picture and reflecting gives me great hope for the future. 

They are always watching

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Some people get inspired by poetry.  Others by art such paintings or sculptures.  For some it is the beauty of dance.  Still another group it’s the theater.  That’s the great thing about the arts.  Different people can find inspiration in different things at different times.  For me, it has always been through music and the lyrics, or poetry, that make up the song. For years I would quote my favorite poet, Bruce Springsteen.

Recently, I have been listening to a lot of country music.  I think it’s because my oldest son likes it and listens to it (along with hip-hop) in his car or when he would take over the music in my car.  Since I tend to do most of the long-distance driving, I began listening.  After our 10+ hour drive to Tennessee to move him to graduate school I was fully hooked and even had some favorite ‘new’ songs. 

The lyrics to country music truly speak to life.  I have found many artists that I like and even more songs that speak to me.  As my children are now in their 20s, I found it a little odd that the song ‘Watching You’ by Rodney Atkins became a favorite as it’s about a father and his 4-year-old son.  As I listened to it over many days, I finally realized that it’s not just about our children watching and learning from us.  Children are sponges and soak up whatever we put out.  What speaks to me now is the impact of this.  As we see worldwide hatred continue to grow, as we have seen the incredible expression of Jew hatred since October 7th, it really does come down to the lyrics of this song and people watching us.

“So I said ‘son, where did you learn to talk like that?’  He said, ‘I’ve been watching you dad, ain’t that cool? I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you.  And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are. We got cowboy boots and camo pants.  Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?  I wanna do everything you do.  So I’ve been watching you.’”

People watch what we do.  Our children are exposed the most and we have the most impact on them.  I think of the messages I got from my parents and my grandparents about what really matters and what to invest in.  About the messages I have sent and continue to send to my children. 

Sitting in Grandpa Len’s lap. He never stopped teaching
Grandpa Si was always teaching us as we watched him
I was lucky to have all 4 grandparents alive and teaching me until I was 26

I want to focus on 5. 

1. Family is everything.  It’s something my parents and grandparents always believed in.  Whether that meant ensuring we spent time together as a nuclear family, extended family, or with those who are just considered family, there was never a question about this in our house.  Growing up, we attended every family celebration.  We spent vacations at my grandparent’s beach house in Connecticut which meant we spent that time with most of our cousins.  Holidays were family events and I have fond memories of Thanksgiving and Passover with my cousins.  This is something I have continued with my children.  It’s essential they understand that when it comes to family, that always comes first.   

The family celebrating Ali’s 50th birthday
One of our memorable family vacations
My parents with their 7 grandchildren on their 50th anniversary cruise
The Dvorchik family all together
Even without my dad, when there is a family event we show up

2. Judaism matters.  I spent most of my childhood at the synagogue or JCC.  Hebrew school was 3 days a week.  We went on Shabbat morning for services.  My parents were involved so there was usually an event at least one other day a week.  4-5 days a week, 10 months a year, I was there for something.  The JCC was a couple of blocks away and easy to walk between the two.  I learned to swim at the JCC.  I played basketball, floor hockey, did community theater and was on the swim team at the JCC.  As I got older, the public school had a bus that stopped there so it was common for my friends and I to go there after school and then, at 5 pm, figure out which of our mom’s would be able to pick us up.  Using the phone at the reception desk, eventually we would find one of them at home or before they left work to get us.  At least most of the time.  Being Jewish and a part of the Jewish community was ingrained in me from the beginning by what my parents did and invested in.  I went to Jewish summer camp.  I was involved with a Jewish youth group. 

My synagogue confirmation class. We still keep in touch and many of us are in Facebook chat. There is even a big time future Rabbi in our group!

Every Friday night we had Shabbat dinner.  We all sat down at the table after lighting candles.  My dad said the kiddush.  One of the kids said Hamotzi.  Every week.  We could invite friends if we wanted.  As we got older, we were allowed to go out with friends on Friday night only AFTER Shabbat dinner.  It was tradition.  It was special.  As my kids got older and my oldest started playing high school football, during football season, our Shabbat dinner changed.  Instead of being at the table, it was in the stands, usually a hot dog and soda as we watched him play.  It wasn’t the same quality of meal, but it was the same quality of time together.  Even today, we are talking about Shabbat dinner and while I don’t bake Challah like I used to before becoming gluten free, I’m trying to find a good recipe so it will be part of the weekly ritual.  Family time is special and a value to my grandparents, parents, myself, and our children. The investment my parents and grandparents put into infusing being Jewish into my core remains today.

As little kids, lighting the menorah with my dad
As a little kid, saying Hamotzi with my Grandpa Si on Shabbat
Kiddush with Grandpa Si. I got a sip of wine.

3. Talk is cheap.  This was one of my dad’s favorite statements to me (or maybe most often used).  Anybody can say anything.  It’s not what you say but what you do that matters.  As a child, I would always have an excuse.  My dad taught me that it didn’t matter what you said, it mattered what you did.  “Show me, don’t tell me.” was a common theme.  My parents showed love.  They showed responsibility.  They showed what a marriage looked like.  They showed what raising a family is like.  They showed sacrifice.  They showed commitment.  They gave the example of what to do, not what to say.  At work. With each other. With us. Basically, they showed how to do this in life.

4. The best gift you can give your children is to love their mother.  This came from my dad and his father.  I heard this growing up.  I saw it in action with my grandparents and my parents.  Both sets of grandparents were married for over 55 years.  My parents were married for over 55 years.  They set the example for their children about love, commitment, and respect. 

One of my favorite pictures of my parents showing their love
Their faces show their love
Their wedding picture has always been a favorite
My dad’s favorite picture of my mom – he always had it in his office
Ali and me enjoying a night out

5. Get involved and make a difference.  My parents and grandparents were always involved in the community, particularly the Jewish community.  Presidents of their synagogue.  Involved with the men’s clubs, sisterhoods.  Volunteering at the Jewish Home for the Aged as I grew up.  The Masons, Kiwanis, Hadassah, National Council of Jewish Women, and B’nai Brith are just some of the organizations they were involved with.  My grandmother knitted slippers and hats for people in the hospital.  Growing up, I saw what commitment was like and as I got involved with my youth group, I took on leadership roles.  In college, I was a leader in my fraternity.  Throughout my adult life, getting involved has been important to me whether it was in the workplace or the things I do for fun.  It’s something I have infused into my children as well.  Just showing up isn’t enough.  We have an obligation to get involved and make a difference.

My dad’s last big volunteer effort was a Nefesh Mountain concert to raise money for Jewish summer camps scholarships. Everybody said he was crazy. They made about 10k to help send kids to camp. He was so excited and so proud.

When I listen to Rodney Atkins sing those lyrics, I see myself as a little boy looking up at my dad.  I see my boys looking up to me as their dad.  And I think about the final chorus when he sings:

My dad with me and my brother when we were little
I’m sure I was doing something I wasn’t supposed to
The time I took my kids to dinner with Eli Weisel

“But when I’m big I’ll still know what to do.  Cause I’ve been watching you dad, ain’t that cool?  I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you.  And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.  By then I’ll be strong as superman.  We’ll be just alike, hey, won’t we dad?  When I can do everything you do.  ‘Cause I’ve been watching you.“

Our kids are watching us and learning.  Their friends are watching us and learning.  The world is looking at us and watching and learning.  What are we committed to showing and teaching them?  For me, I know.  Do you?

My favorite picture of me and my dad. This is from Evan’s Bar Mitzvah party. We were both filled with so much joy.

Change the world one small thing at a time

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

October 7th and the aftermath is very personal to me and to many other people.  I have friends who had family members murdered at the music festival.  I have friends that had relatives kidnapped by Hamas and taken to Gaza as hostages.  I have friends who raced into danger to fight the terrorists.  I have met with people who were attacked on October 7th and fought back.  I have spoken with people who were at Kfar Aza two days later and saw the massacre in person.  I have friends on the front lines in Gaza and in the north of Israel.  I have friends who have their children on the front lines as well.  Every day when the casualty report comes out, I take a deep breath and read the names of those who lost their lives, hoping and praying that I don’t know any of them.

I don’t know that I can adequately express the impact this has had on me.  The deep pain.  The feelings of loss.  Watching the 47-minute Hamas video of their atrocities was difficult and there are images burned into my brain that will never leave.  I check on family and friends in Israel regularly.  The time they spend in bomb shelters remains shocking.  I message and audio message with a friend who was in the reserves and is now in charge of logistics in Gaza.  The gratitude in his voice that I reached out was both heartbreaking and heartwarming.  When the war is over, he plans to come to visit and I look forward to seeing him and hearing what he is able and willing to share.

   A beautiful piece of art by the amazing Joanne Fink

With all of this going on, it’s hard to find positive things to focus on.  But not impossible.  And when I do, it’s incredibly uplifting.  During the short ceasefire when hostages were released, the four hostages that are related to my friends were released.  One of them, Hila, turned 13 the day after she was released.  Her mother Raaya was released two days after Hila.  My friend who is related to Raaya and Hila began raising money to purchase birthday and Hanukkah gifts for Hila after she was released while her mother was still held in Gaza.  When I saw this, I reached out to see how I could help.

  Hila and Raaya

We ended up creating an Amazon wish list for Hila and sharing it.  People began purchasing the items so quickly that more and more were added.  And people kept purchasing them.  So we added more and more.  And people kept purchasing them.  Everything that was added was purchased. The list was empty at the end. 

One of the things Hila loves is Rare Beauty.  A friend works for them and so I reached out.  She was happy to help and the response from them was amazing. An amazing package was put together by them for Hila.  Another friend reached out to help.  Hila loves closes from Gary V’s and he has a contact there.  They also put together a great package for Hila.  She also loves lululemon clothes.  I get a nice discount there and we used it to buy her the clothes she wanted.  People and companies stepped up to help this 13-year-old girl who had been held hostage by Hamas in Gaza.  It felt good to do something to help her.

Today my friend sent me pictures and video of Hila with the gifts we got for her.  The joy on her face is palpable.  It’s infectious.  The videos are in Hebrew, but you can understand her joy and excitement.  On a day when Israel eliminated significant leadership of Hamas and an escalation from Hezbollah, the Houthis, and Iran is expected, this joy was unexpected and appreciated. 

Hila opening her birthday and Hanukkah gifts from her worldwide Jewish family. Her excitement is infectious.
More gifts for Hila. Listen to the excitement in her voice.

It doesn’t take much to change the world.  We do it one step at a time.  Random acts of kindness.  Being there for friends.  Doing just a little more than is required.  Today’s world is filled with challenges.  Your small effort has rippling and long-lasting effects.  If you don’t believe me, listen to Hila’s excited voice.  Look at the joy on her face.  A lot of people did a little bit to make a difference for this 13-year-old girl who was held hostage by terrorists.  We made her birthday and Hanukkah special this year.  You can do the same for others.

The look on her face melts my heart

That smile for the makeup is precious

How can you not fall in love with her?

You can feel her excitement and awe at the gifts

The gifts from Rare Beauty with the note to her from them. Such a class act.

It’s hard to imagine this sweet child kept in captivity by Hamas. Those are the sneakers she wanted so much and got for her birthday/Hanukkah because of our collective generousity.

Live Like You are Dying

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I am the first to admit that I am not up on the newest trends.  Whether it’s fashion, movies, language, or music, I am always late to the table.  Recently I discovered the Tim McGraw song Live Like You are Dying that was released in 2004 (only 20 years behind the times!) that of course was the #1 song on the US Country Billboard chart for 7 weeks. Like I said, I’m behind the times.

As we enter a new year, 2024, the lyrics struck me deeply as a guide for how to live my life. The song was written by Tim Nichols and Craig Wiseman who based it on family and friends who learned of illnesses (cancers), and how they often had a new perspective on life upon learning they had limited time. 

When one person asks the other what they did with this news, their answer was simple, beautiful, and powerful.  The answer is:

I went skydiving, I went Rocky Mountain climbing I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.

What an inspiration. Upon learning of a potential life ending medical condition, their decision was to invest in life.  To invest in living every moment possible.  To do the things they always wanted.  To feel the exhilaration of life.    I find myself wondering why it took the diagnosis to make the investment in life.  Why do we often wait until it is too late to do the things that we really want or that really matter?

Often times we put the things that society values in front of living.  We feel the need to work more, have more money, more things, a nicer car, a bigger house.  It often takes a major life event for us to realize our priorities are in the wrong place.  Would my life be any less if I drove a less expensive car?  Had a less expensive house?  Wore less expensive clothes or jewelry? 

In Bali I did the swing and it was incredible. I’ve been skydiving. It’s important to do the things that are fun in life.

Horseback riding on the beach in Netanya, Israel with my friend Remo. These opportunities come up for all of us and we need to remember not to miss them.

The next line in song is haunting.

Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying.

We get this chance every single day.  Do we want to be home for dinner with the family or work that extra hour or two?  Do we want to take our children to their doctor appointment, watch their sporting events, plays, recitals, and concerts or spend more time working, accumulating ‘things’. Why do we have to hope that “someday” we will get this change when we have it every single day.

The second verse talks about the person they want to be.  As I read the lyrics, it reminded me of the things that are really important to me.

I was finally the husband that most of the time I wasn’t, and I became a friend a friend would like to have.  And all of a sudden going fishin’ wasn’t such an imposition and I went three times that year I lost my dad.  Well, I finally read the Good Book, and I took a good, long, hard look at what I’d do if I could do it all again

Fishing with Evan and my nephews Nick and Caden. It was a fun day, especially because I caught all the fish! Memories are priceless.

The past 15 months have been life changing for me.  My father died in September 2022.  We had a very close relationship and the last few weeks of his life I got to be there for him on a daily basis.  The ability to do that was one I will always treasure.  His passing started a process of self-evaluation and reflection that continues today. 

When my children were little, I had the flexibility to take them to their doctor appointments and almost always did.  I didn’t miss a performance or sporting event.   As they got older and my travel requirements for work changed, I began missing some things when I was out of town however, I did my best to schedule around their appointments and events.  A friend of mine gave me wise advice when my children were little.  He said, “Every age is the best.”   As such, I wanted to fully engage with them at every age and through every phase. 

There came a 3-year period of time when work was overwhelming, and I was not able to engage this way.  I remember how I felt during that time period and how much I didn’t like it.  I remember feeling like I was not the father I wanted to be.  I was not setting the example that I wanted for my children.  I was not being the person that I wanted to be.  So, I made a change.

The past years have been filled with time invested with my family.  I have incredible memories I have with both of my children are ones that will last a lifetime.  The time visiting colleges for football recruiting with my oldest.  Friday night lights watching him play football in high school and then with UCF and coaching high school football.  The spent with my younger son at Jaguars games and theater at the Dr. Phillips Center.  Eating dinner as a family.  Holiday celebrations together.  Birthday traditions, family vacations. 

At the UFC fight – it’s become a tradition for Evan, Matthew and me to go.

Matthew and me at the 2022 White House Hanukkah Party. A memory with stories we will always remember

I had the chance to take my nephew Jacob to the Braves-Mets game in Citi Field. Time together is irreplaceable. 

On the drive to Tennesse to move Evan in to start as a GA coaching football at Tusculum College, he wanted a little detour to stop at the University of South Carolina football stadium. Worth every minute of the detour.

At my father’s funeral, my brother, sister, and I all spoke about him.  None of us talked about how much he worked.  None of us talked about the material things that we had.  It wasn’t important that we didn’t have the most expensive home, car, or clothes.  We talked about the person my dad was.  We talked about the time we spent with him.  We told stories about him and the impact he had on our lives and the lives of our friends.  I wrote in a previous blog how my dad told somebody that he wasn’t afraid of dying.  He was just sad about the things he would be missing.  I truly believe that is because when he “took a good, long, hard look at what I’d do if I could do it all again” he found little that he would do differently when it came to his family. He was ‘a friend a friend would want like to have’ and inspires me to make sure that I am as well.

Evan with my longtime friend Darryl. Darryl is a college football coach and has served as a mentor to Evan. A friend a friend would want.

The final verse of the song teaches me to do it now, not wait.  The lyrics state:

Like tomorrow was a gift and you’ve got eternity to think about what you’d do with it.
What could you do with it? What did I do with it? What would I do with it?

I decided years ago that I didn’t want to live with regret.  I never wanted to look aback on my life and regret missing out on things.  As my oldest is almost 24 and living his dream as a college football coach (graduate assistant) in Tennessee and my youngest is 21 and finishing his Junior year at UCF, I look back at time when they were young without regrets.  I took advantage of the time with them to fully immerse myself in being there.  I was cautioned by others to take advantage when they still wanted me around because the day would come when they didn’t any longer.  I’ve been blessed that they still want me around.  That we still do things and go places together.  That my oldest wants me to come to watch him coach.  That my youngest wants to go to sporting events, concerts, the theater with me.  That they both want to go on vacation with their parents. 

Evan, Matthew and me the night before he coached in the conference championship game. I wouldn’t trade the 10 hours each way with Matthew or the chance to watch Evan coach for anything.

Alison, Matthew, Carla and me at the Orlando Ballet performance of the Nutcracker. Going to the theater and the arts have become a fun thing for us.

A song that starts with a cancer diagnosis sounds depressing.  Yet this one is inspiring.  Not because the person survives – we don’t know that outcome.  But we do know that they chose to live.  They chose to take advantage of every day they have on earth with people. 

As we start 2024, I renew my commitment to living in the moment.  To not having regrets.  To set my priorities and have them in line with my values.  To live like I am dying.

I hope you do too.

Fast Times, Memories, and Lessons (plus Happy Sylvester)

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

It’s the last day of 2023 – Happy New Year! (Happy Sylvester for those who know). My 13 year old dog Bella woke me up early to eat her breakfast and go outside.  After taking care of her needs and brewing a pot of coffee, I sat down and turned on the television.  One of my favorite movies, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, was on, so I had to watch it.  It immediately brought back memories.

Fast Times chronicles high school in the early 80’s.  It’s the story of my adolescence.  At different times I can relate with Brad, Spicoli, Rat, and Damone. We knew who was Linda, who was Stacy, and who was Lisa. Certainly we all had a teacher like Mr. Hand. The hair, clothes, language, teachers, cars, and situations bring me right back to being in high school.  The friends and the fun we had, all while looking forward to our amazing futures in college, with careers, and the unlimited opportunities ahead of us.  It was the 1980s, so capitalism was king.  Everybody believed they would become incredibly successful and wealthy.  We had no limits ahead of us. 

Hanging out in somebody’s basement. Life was good and the future was bright for all of us.

It’s hard to believe that was about 40 years ago.  As I think back over the past approximately 40 years, I wonder where the time has gone.  I still feel like that 15–17-year-old high school kid most of the time, even though my own children are much older than that.  I still feel like I have that amazing future in front of me even though I also recognize that nearly 2/3 of my life is now behind me. 

Lately I have been thinking a lot about those times.  I attended two high schools.  My freshman and sophomore year were at Susquehanna in Harrisburg, PA.  Then we moved to the Philadelphia area where I finished high school at Upper Dublin.  My Susquehanna friends were friends from elementary, middle, and high school where we had a long history of growing up together.  My friends from Upper Dublin were forged from the power of the last two years of high school and coming of age together.  I moved to Florida in 1992 and lost contact with many of them until social media gave us the opportunity to reconnect many years later.

My high school classmates have had lives that cross the entire spectrum.  Unfortunately, some died tragic deaths at a young age.  I think of them and what they missed in life often, grateful for my own life experiences.  Some of them have been wildly financially successful, earning generational wealth.  Most of us have lived lives filled with meaning, getting through the ups and downs that life brings us.  We have faced challenges and successes, often with dignity and sometimes without.  Yet here we are, about to enter 2024, just like we entered our senior year of high school back in 1984.  Looking forward to what life brings us. I went back and found some pictures of us. Some aged well and some, well, let’s say they just aged.

Half of our graduating class. Try to find me – it definitely didn’t age well.

The other half of our class.

A group of us got to spend a month in England in November 1984. Feel free to write about my timeless look in the comments.

One of our favorite pictures from England as we got to dress in ancestral clothes

A group of us before prom. Perfectly 1980s

I was active in BBYO – most in this picture still keep in touch today.

Toga parties were the thing back then

One of my dear friends died of breast cancer this year.  She was a few months older than me, we graduated high school together, and kept in touch through the years.  Our lives followed similar paths.  Careers, marriage, children, family.  Meaningful lives that we could be proud of.  And then cancer struck.  She beat it once, but it came back and won the second time.  A .500 average in baseball would mean a unanimous Hall of Fame career.  A sad outcome in life.  We spoke a few months before her passing and while there seemed to be a resignation in her voice, she remained hopeful for the future.  When I think of her, I am always shocked that she is really gone and we won’t be able to share pictures, laughs, and the joy of our children’s accomplishments. We won’t be able to reminisce about ‘the good old days’ and laugh out loud at how ridiculous we were.

My dad died in 2022.  A few months ago, my mom told me a story that she had just recently heard from the person who was in the ambulance with him as he was transferred from a hospital in Tampa to Advent Health in Orlando.  He told this person that he wasn’t afraid of dying.  He just was sad about all that he would miss.  I think about his wisdom and insight all the time since my mom shared that story with me.  And how much he has missed in just over a year. And how much he will miss and how much we miss him. It brings tears to my eyes every single time. 

My dad, Evan and me on the field at Ben Hill Griffin stadium before a game during Evan’s football recruiting. One of my treasured memories as I watched my dad kvell over his grandson.

It reminds me that time is our most precious commodity and the only thing we can’t get back.  In 2013 when our moving truck caught fire and burned and we lost our material possessions, so many people reached out because of the loss.  Yet while we were saddened to have lost things that we loved; they were all replaceable.  And in my ‘proof God exists’ moment, the only things that weren’t lost in the moving fire were the things that couldn’t be replaced with any amount of money.  Things that came from our grandparents.  Our ketubah (Jewish marriage certificate).  Picture albums from my bar mitzvah, from our wedding, from when the kids were babies.  We can make more money, get another car, buy a different house or move to a different apartment, get new clothes, furniture, or other material things.  What we can’t get back is time.

The smell of smoke and burned things is fresh for me when I look at these pictures more than 10 years later.

So, as we end 2023 and begin 2024, I hope this is a year focused on people.  On friends and loved ones.  I have enjoyed reconnecting with my high school friends and seeing what their lives are like.  Enjoying their work and life accomplishments.  Seeing pictures of their grandchildren (I’m far too young to have grandchildren).  Watching their children graduate college, get married, have B’nai mitzvahs, and their major career changes.  Sharing stories both online and in person with each other, reminding ourselves of these special time that while long gone feel like yesterday.  I appreciate these friendships more every day and how we are able to help each other or our friends and families just because we want to and are able to. 

Just a few weeks ago, somehow the topic of a party I threw in early 1983 came up. The comments made me laugh as the memories of that crazy night came back. And of course, the next morning when I was busted by my parents and the punishment that came afterwards. Yet, 40 years later, I don’t regret it and love the memories we all share.

As we think about our goals for the new year, I urge you to think about the ones that are truly important.  They are not going to put that you ‘worked 50 hours a week’ on your tombstone. Nobody in their eulogy is going to celebrate that you ingnored your friends and family to work those extra hours. You will be celebrated for the things that you showed up to, not the things you missed to earn money. Think about the friendships from years ago and from today.  Think about what is really priceless and what is just transactional.  Invest your time and energy in the right place for an unbelievable return. As I do that, I wanted to share some pictures from this past year that re priceless to me. Because family and community is what is truly priceless to me.

My mom, brother, sister and me the day before my dad’s unveiling.

At the Orlando ballet with my son Matthew, his girlfriend Carla, and my wife Alison

Matthew and me at the Jaguars game – special father son time

Matthew and me watching my son Evan coach in the championship game for Tusculum College

Evan on the field before the conference championship game. Matthew and I are in the stands watching and cheering on Tusculum.

Matthew, Carla and me at the theater. Usually it’s Alison but when she has to work, Carla takes her place

Alison and me on vacation in Bali

Evan in his happy place – coaching college football. I’m so grateful he found his passion and is pursuing it.

Traveling to DC with a group from Orlando to join the 300,000 people who rallied in support of Israel after the horrors Hamas committed on October 7, 2023. I’m proud to be one of the people who were there.

Survival of the Jewish people

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Over the past 3 months, I have discovered substack and the amazing wealth of great writing that is there.  Bari Weiss’s The Free Press and Kareem Abdul Jabbar are my two favorites so far and I have paid subscriptions to both.  I am currently exploring Daniel Gordis’s Israel From the Inside with a free subscription to decide if it’s worth paying for as well.  His piece on Friday moves me closer to paying for the content.

In Friday’s piece, he writes about the letters left by IDF soldiers for their families in case they are killed in combat, highlighting two that have been publicly released and discussing the number of IDF soldiers who have them either on their bodies or left in their rooms at their home.  In his words, these letters “reveal a young Israeli generation astounding in the depth of its commitment to the Jewish people.”  And more importantly to me, he states, “If the West is to survive, its young women and men will need to emulate them.”

Those statements and the article itself made me think deeply about the future of Judaism, of Jewish life in America, the future for my children and future grandchildren.  It brought me back to my childhood and talking with my grandparents about Jewish life when it was so different than today.  I also thought about my own Jewish identity, both what it means to me and how I express it.  I thought about the way I grew up and how I live now, both the similarities and the clear differences. 

For many people, what it means to be Jewish changed in the aftermath of October 7th.  For some, it was because of the murder, rape, kidnapping, and other atrocities that were reported.  For others, it was watching their ‘friends, colleagues, and allies’ abandon them.  Others watched or experienced the increase in antisemitism and Jew hatred around the country, in their backyard or on their alma mater’s campus.  They were shaken by the hatred they saw or experienced.  Many people, for the first time in their lives, realized that they were Jews first and that every other identity was secondary.  It was similar to the revelation the Jews of Germany experienced in the 1930s. 

I have wondered about the future of Jewish life in America for most of my 25-year career in the Jewish world.  I have watched as Jews of all ages have drifted away from Jewish life and spent more time and resources in the non-Jewish world.  I have seen both in my personal life and with my friends and others, the lack of synagogue affiliation, fewer and fewer people keeping kosher (I grew up in kosher home but haven’t kept kosher since I left for college), and more and more people choosing secular life over any form of Jewish life.  I wondered if after thousands of years of hatred trying to eliminate the Jewish people, would it finally be their love and acceptance that did it.

The post October 7th world shows me that I may have been right.  The increase of Jew hatred has seemed to generate interest in Jews exploring Jewish life and finding out what being Jewish means for them.  In many ways it reminds of me of what happened on September 11th on college campuses when it became ok to ask spiritual questions and students were very much asking about God.**

As Jews begin to question what it means to be Jewish, they are finding all sorts of different answers.  For me, I have found a few things that answer that and are meaningful. 

I have chosen to get involved in Jewish rituals.  This includes things like putting on tefillin, lighting candles on Shabbat, and I am preparing to bake challah once again with a new gluten free recipe so I can enjoy it as well. 

I am spending an hour a week learning Torah with a Rabbi and meet with another Rabbi friend of mine for an hour a week to talk and begin doing some Jewish learning.  I enjoy these deep conversations and how each week we take ancient Jewish text and convert it into a lesson for the 21st century and my daily life.  Unlike Hebrew School as a child, the time flies by as we discuss, argue, debate, and question each other.  It’s intellectual, spiritual, and fun. 

I wear very little jewelry.  It’s not who I am.  After October 7th, I decided that I wanted to wear a piece of Judaica, so I searched and found a beautiful Magen David (star of David) made by an Israeli artist that has Israel at the center of it.  I wear it proudly outside of my shirt, publicly displaying my Jewish identity and my love of Israel. 

I hung a new, special mezuzah made from the plastic removed from the water by Tikkun HaYam (Repair the Seas) on my new home office.  You can purchase one of these mezuzahs or the other cool things they make from recycled plastic here. 

I continue to watch the inspirational messages that my friends Harry Rothenberg and Ari Shabat send each week based on the Torah portion.  The 3-4 minutes I spend to watch each of them inspires me and gets me thinking about something I can do in my life.  I look forward to getting them each week.

As you see, it’s not a lot.  Yet it is meaningful and makes my day better because I take the time to do something Jewish on a regular basis. 

It brings me back to the two statements above from Daniel Gordis:

“reveal a young Israeli generation astounding in the depth of its commitment to the Jewish people.” 

The IDF called up 300,000 reserves and expected 250,000 at most to actually report for duty.  Instead, 360,000 showed up.  This was due to their commitment to the Jewish people.  The bitter political divides in Israel were put aside after October 7th as the commitment to Israel and to the Jewish people took precedence.  Watching the Haredi (groups within Orthodox Judaism that are characterized by their strict adherence to halakha (Jewish law) and traditions) sign up for the army when they were exempt was extremely moving for me.  I was also incredibly moved by Mia Schem, held hostage by Hamas in Gaza for 55 days. Not long after her release, she got a tattoo that reads, “We will dance again”. Her commitment to not allow Hamas to define her future shows me that I can’t allow anybody to determine my future either. This is the commitment of the Maccabees, of those on Masada, of Ruth and Queen Esther. It is what has allowed the Jewish people to continue to survive.

 “If the West is to survive, its young women and men will need to emulate them.”

This is the important point for those of us in the United States and in the diaspora.  Our young men and women need to emulate this commitment.  I watch the divide among our youth about Israel and Judaism and fear for the survival of Jewish life in the diaspora.  We fight amongst ourselves and give those who want us to not exist the ammunition they need.  We defend those who exhibit Jew hatred, antisemitism, through intellectual statements, qualifying what they said, blaming others, or using things like race, religion, history of being in a persecuted or minimized group as the reason they have these beliefs and that they don’t really mean it.  It’s time for our Jewish young women and men to accept that when people say they want to kill us, they really want to kill us.  When people defend those who promise to kill us and are actively killing Jews, they want the Jews to be killed by these people. 

We need a radical new approach to Jewish life.  We need to inspire people with the beauty and power and meaning of Jewish life.  We need to help people understand it’s not ‘all or nothing’ as they may have been taught growing up.  Instead, it’s take something, anything, and do it, use it, live it, love it, and maybe it grows into something a little more. 

  Wearing my Hanukkah PJs – that one thing can be fun!

I saw a meme this Hanukkah that said the miracle of Hannukah is not that the oil lasted 8 days.  The miracle of Hanukkah is that it has sustained the Jewish people for over 2,000 years.  Let’s not let that miracle burn out when a little effort will make the flames of Judaism grow exponentially.

** I know many people choose to write G-d to not write God’s name but since that isn’t really the name, I choose to just write it.

Change and the power of people

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Change isn’t easy.  It’s new, it’s different, and often comes with pain, either because it’s something we don’t want or because it’s something that hurts that forces us to see things differently and behave differently.  As we approach the new year, 2024, it’s a time many people make resolutions for the new year.  Things they will change.  A number of years ago I made the last one, and one I have kept ever since.  I vowed to stop making New Year’s Resolutions?

Why did I do that? Most of these are aspirational with no intent to actually make the changes.  The impetus is a date on the calendar, not a desire for real change, and as a result, they simply don’t work.  By not making any more new year’s resolutions, I empowered myself to make the changes in my life when they are needed rather than because it’s now January 1st of a new year.

As I look back at the past year, it gives me a chance to look at the changes I have made and the impact they have had and what I hope they will have as I move forward.

On September 6, 2022, my father died.  I have been lucky in my life to have wonderful relationships with my parents, and this was a transformative moment in my life.  My dad was who I went to for advice and guidance.  He was a role model.  With him no longer physically here, change was needed in my life.  I had to find others who could help provide the guidance that my dad offered for nearly 55 years.  My Uncle Marty, my close friends Todd and Ron.  People who I had long standing, trusted relationships went to a deeper level. 

I began to question what was really important in my life.  What mattered to me.  I made a commitment to increase the amount of time I spent with my family as time had become the most important thing in my life.  I wanted to improve my health, lose weight, and get better reports from my doctors.  None of this happened overnight, but it all happened because of the combination of the pain from the loss of my dad and the strong desire for something different.  I lost 55 pounds, my health improved, and my doctors were beyond thrilled, and I chose to invest more time with my family, taking advantage of what I could.  As my oldest son left the house this morning to return to Tennessee because they needed him back a week early, I was filled with gratitude for the time we did get to spend and look forward to the next opportunity.  Pain, something we all do our best to avoid, forced change, something we also tend to avoid, to improve my life, which all want but often aren’t willing to do the work to make happen.

I changed my career.  As somebody who spent 25 years working in the Jewish non-profit sector, it was something I enjoyed and something that was core to my identity.  I had thought of doing something else many times but never actually made it happen.  Fear?  Insecurity?  Uncertainty?  Change is often forced upon us and then we have the choice to rise to the challenge or not.  I’m excited about the new future and what it means.  I have more time with my family, more time to address improving my health and fitness.  Less stress.  When my mom said to me, “I was waiting to get the call that you had a heart attack.” it was a wake-up call.  It’s a new future ahead with things I cannot foresee and yet, I am more excited about it than I have been in a long while.  Change can be scary and exhilarating, uncertain and exciting.  How we choose to approach it, what our attitude is and what we are willing to often determine our success. 

October 7 was a sea change for me and many others.  As I watched the news unfold, as I communicated with friends and family in Israel via WhatsApp during the day, I was horrified, scared, angry, and stunned.  I’ll never forget the video of people murdered in their cars and they zoomed in on a minivan with the father, dead and slumped forward on the steering wheel while his young daughter, clinging to his back, was slumped dead against him.  It’s a horrifying image that is burned into my brain.  I saw the 47-minute Hamas video and those images are forever in my memory.  I have connections through friends to at least four hostages who thankfully have been returned to Israel.  October 7 was deeply personal in a way I never expected or wanted.

As somebody who was already a very public Jew due to my career, being more public wasn’t a real change.  But choosing to invest in being Jewish in my actions was something I could do.  I had begun learning with a Rabbi and have continued to do that weekly with a bigger zest and interest.  Sometimes I’ll even learn with 2 Rabbis in a week because it’s interesting to hear different perspectives.  My tefillin is out and gets used (not daily as some change comes slowly).  I don’t identify with any particular denomination any longer – I am a Jew and that’s enough.    I am not a jewelry person, yet I bought a new Mogen David (Star of David) from Israel that has the State of Israel as the center of the star and wear it proudly and visible when many others are feeling the need to keep theirs hidden due to safety concerns.  I have ordered some additional pieces from Israel, both for my own identity and to support Israeli artists.  The guy who hates jewelry is now wearing Jewish jewelry. 

I have always been somebody who felt that people were the most important thing in the world.  Throughout my life and my career, I have always invested in people.   I have some long term friends that I have known literally all my life to those who I’ve been friends with for 20 and 30 years.  My kids often joke about their ‘relatives’ that aren’t really related to them.  Alice and Jerry (z’l), Amy, Gabi, Karen, and their kids.   Uncle Aric and Aunt Carol.  My best friend Todd.  Ron and Sandy z’l (z’l).  It’s very common for them to not ask ‘how are we related?’ but ‘are we really related?’ when these names come up. 

I have people that I have worked with from 25 years ago that I still keep in touch with and are still friends.  These relationships are ones that I treasure (and those who worked with me or were students at UF when I was at Hillel or at Federation in Seattle or the JCC or Federation in Orlando know exactly what I mean and who you are.)  We still talk on a regular basis, sometimes out of the blue and sometimes every few weeks.  While not a change, my commitment to people has increased in the last year.  Investing in them.  Helping them.  Being their friend regardless of anything else.  October 7th reminded me just how precious those friendships are.  The messages on my birthday reminded me how precious those friendships are.  People reaching out after my dad died made me realize how incredibly luck and wealthy I am, not because of money or things, but because of people.  My career shift highlighted the people who reached out to talk and ask questions.  Here are just four examples from the past 5 days that highlight this (I could give many more):

  1. Thursday I spent an hour on a zoom with my friend Harriet. For the past 3 years or so we meet on zoom every week to talk about life, work, stress, family, and the just be friends. It started as part of a cohort and we just never stopped. It’s often the highlight of my week just for the personal connection.
  2. Friday I spent an hour on a zoom with my friend Shelley, catching up on life, talking about our families, our other friends, our careers, things we have considered doing, things we are doing, and just being together for the hour enjoying each others company.
  3. Monday I reached out to a number of friends to wish them a Merry Christmas.  One of them, Jamal, let me know that he is writing a book that will be published in 2024 and that he references me in the book and will share it with me before it’s published.  I was beyond humbled and overwhelmed by this.
  4. About a week ago, I messaged my friend Yaron, who is a leader in the IDF reserves that I know is on the front line in Gaza.  I didn’t expect a prompt reply, or maybe any reply, because of what he is tasked with doing.  Monday he replied, apologizing for the delay, which also humbled me.  He is currently the operations officer for the Gaza Division so you can imagine what he is living.  While he will never talk about it, I heard from other friends that on October 7th, he grabbed his gun and raced into the fight against the Hamas terrorists, helping defend Israelis by taking on the terrorists.  He thanked me for reaching out, for keeping him in my thoughts and that he mattered that much to me.  We messaged and began making plans to get together after the war, both when I am in Israel and when he is in the United States.  His heroism awes me. The fact that my message to him, asking about him and hoping he is ok and safe and that the war ends both successfully and soon, meant so much to him is proof of the power of people.

At the end of the day, change isn’t easy or fun, but is rewarding.  People are the key to change.  The relationships we build today can last a lifetime.  They help us get through change.  They help us get through the pain of things like losing a parent, a massacre on October 7th, dealing with a war where friends are on the front lines, and the challenges of daily life.  As we come to the close of 2023, I find myself most proud of three things.

  1. The relationship with my parents and my siblings.
  2. The relationship with my wife and children.
  3. The relationship with my friends, colleagues, and former students.

No amount of money can enter the top 3.  No amount of success can enter the top 3.  Nothing material truly matters until after those 3.  I’m humbled and grateful and look forward to a better 2024.

Relationships Matter

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Over the past 25 years, I have attended the AIPAC Policy Conference many times.  Having the opportunity to listen to incredible speakers, attend great breakout sessions, and lobby on Capitol Hill always made it a highlight. 

I have great memories of taking 40+ students from The University of Florida to the conference year after year.  Meeting with key Florida politicians and influential leaders for photos.  Our Saturday night dinner in Chinatown became legendary and the donor who underwrote it would fly up for the dinner and not stay for the conference, just to interact with the students.  I met my friend and teacher, Dr. Ken Stein, at AIPAC Policy Conference after attending his sessions and being blown away with the information he presented. That is now close to a 20-year friendship.

Perhaps the most important thing that I learned at the AIPAC Policy Conference came in 2009, when the theme was “Relationships Matter”.  I met my friend Reverend Ken Flowers at that conference.  I was named one of AIPAC’s Campus Allies at that conference.  Neither of them were the most important thing at that conference.  The topic, “Relationships Matter” was the most important thing from that conference.

That was a transformational moment for me as I began to understand the need to build relationships across all levels.  People of different religions, cultures, political beliefs, etc.  What hit me strongly was that in order to be successful we needed to bridge divides, have real relationships with people, and get involved BEFORE you asked for anything in return.  In a country and a world which was already transactional and one that has since become even more transactional, these real relationships matter.  They are what change the world.

Over the past 14 years, that is what I have strived to do.  I have relationships with political leaders of both major parties.  Friendships with these people.  I reach out because of the relationship, not because I want or need anything.  And they reach out as well.  I love getting a Hanukkah card from the White House, regardless of who is the President.  When my Senator sends me a little handwritten note about something, it has special meaning.  When my member of the US House of Representatives texts me a note or a question, it is part of real relationship.  When members of the Florida House of Representatives text or we talk, it is not because I’m trying to get them to vote a certain way but rather because we engage in old fashioned conversation. 

I have friends who are leaders in the Christian and Muslim community.  Leaders in African-American community and the LBGTQ+ community.  I have friends who are Arabs and Christians living in East Jerusalem, Bethlehem, and Nablus.  I have spent time talking and learning from people who were raised to hate Jews and joined violent organizations that attacked Jews, some of them even murdered Jews in Israel, before undergoing a transformation and striving to learn and build relationships with people they never even considered people.  I’ve previously written about one of them, Ali Abu Awaad, who inspires me regularly with his work towards Palestinian non-violence and finding a new way to build a different relationship with Israel that can lead to a long lasting peace.

Early this morning I got a message from my friend who is a leader in the local Muslim community.  We became friends a few years ago and have done some volunteer work together.  I have visited his mosque a number of times and feel comfortable there.  He has gone through some personal challenges recently and I regularly check on him.  His current volunteer work needs some help and so, as his friend, I am helping.  His note this morning was:

    Good Morning Keith.  I am at the mosque for the morning prayer and I remembered you.  I will

    say a prayer for you.  Stay blessed.

    Thought of the day

    “Love is the devotion to the well-being of others without regard to the cost.”

My heart filled with joy as I read it because my friend not only thought of me on a random Saturday morning but was moved to include me in his prayers and share a little wisdom.

My friends are like a bag of skittles – all colors, flavors, and types.  The commonality they all have is the type of person that they are.  As the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. famously said:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

That’s how I pick my friends.  The content of their character.  That is how I invest in relationships.  The content of their character.  That’s how people inspire me.  The content of their character.

Recently I have been surprised and inspired by the words of a major public figure.  It usually takes a lot to surprise me, but US Senator John Fetterman has done so.  I was not impressed when he ran for Senate.  For the first part of his term, I only saw somebody who appeared to be hanging around, almost mocking what it mean to be a US Senator.  In the aftermath of October 7th, I realize how wrong I was and how I was not judging him by the content of his character but rather the image that was presented.  Senator Fetterman has spoken out powerfully and clearly about the terrorist group Hamas.  He speaks out regularly about the need for all the hostages taken by Hamas to be released.  He hung the pictures of all the hostages in his office.  He doesn’t celebrate the violence and terror of October 7th nor does he celebrate the horrors of the war since then.  He doesn’t demand a cease-fire that will accomplish nothing but more future terror and death but speaks the truth – if Hamas returns all the hostages and surrenders, there will be a cease fire.  But not before.   He is taking major criticism from many in his party because of this yet he continues to hold true to his values.  He is truly showing us the content of his character.

In today’s crazy world where it is easy to judge somebody by the 10 second clip they play on the news (often out of context) or the way a certain news channel may present them, or how a journalist chooses to frame a story, Senator Fetterman has reminded me that relationships matter.  That getting to know people before judging them matters.  That investing time and energy into a relationship, whether your world views agree or collide, is beneficial and important.

As I begin my new career arc, I often get asked what’s my favorite part of the work.  My answer is consistent.  I get to work with people that I like and respect.  I get to help people accomplish their goals and the goals for their organization.  I get to work for clients that I want to work for, and we get to build a relationship together.  I choose to not have them be transactional relationships but something deeper.  It’s meaningful.  And isn’t that what life is all about?  Finding meaning?  That theme in 2009 was so accurate.  Relationships Matter.