The content of our character gets an F

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Terrorism is one of those things that as Americans, we have always thought of happening elsewhere.  Even when the Oklahoma City bombing occurred, it was by an American who many people made excuses for.  It didn’t feel like real terrorist.

September 11, 2001, was supposed to have changed everything.  Arab terrorists hijacked airplanes and flew two of them into the Twin Towers, one was crash landed in Shanksville, PA, and one crashed into the Pentagon.  Nearly 3,000 Americans were murdered that day by terrorists.  We felt what terrorism was like.  We engaged in a war in Iraq and then Afghanistan that lasted for 20 years.  But we were never hit again.  Despite the concern that more attacks were coming, the United States has been spared a second terrorist attack after 9/11.  And so, we have forgotten the horror of terrorism and terrorists.  We have forgotten the evil. 

Each September 11th, we remember in a lesser and lesser manner. It is not a national day of remembrance. It is not a sacred day. There isn’t a school assembly where all the names of the victims are read. Perhaps it’s the 20 years of war that came after that has us tired. Perhaps it is our lack of an attention span. Perhaps it is because we choose to get partisan and blame ‘the other party’ for either entering the war, not winning the war, or the way we finally exited the war. We paid a terrible price on September 11th and it’s a day that I will never forget. But as a country we remember it like we remember Pearl Harbor Day. “A day that will live in infamy” is no longer a recognizable quote to the millenial generation. I wonder if they would even recognize ‘Let’s Roll’ two decades after it was one of the most inspiring statements we heard.

Israel on the other hand, has had to deal with terrorist every day.  I have spoken with IDF leaders who have told me what they stop every single day.  And we see in the news what happens when a terrorist gets through.  The first and second intifada along with rockets from Gaza and Lebanon, stabbings, shootings, kidnappings, and more.

I’ve been in Israel for Yom HaZikaron and Yom Ha’atzmaut (Israeli Memorial Day and Israeli Independence Day) and they are days you won’t ever forget. The country shuts down on Yom HaZikaron. TV only shows stories of heroic soldiers. The sirens at 7 pm and then at 11 am are dramatic and unforgettable. The names of those lost are read in each community. It is a powerful experience. Yom Ha’atzmaut starts right at the end of Yom HaZikaron and the mood changes from sadness to joy in an instant. Freedom is celebrated, not sales on mattresses or appliances. You can literally join any party going on in the country whether you know the people there or not. Israel never forgets.

But even Israel never imagined the horrors of October 7, 2023.  Nobody, other than Hamas and Iran could imagined that occurring.  Having seen the 47-minute Hamas video from October 7th, it was horrifying.  And I know there is far worse that Israel has video of that they refuse to put into the public domain because of just how horrifying it is.  Rapes, murders of babies, women and the elderly.  Burning of people alive.  Cooking babies alive in the oven while their mother is forced to watch, sometimes while also being raped.  Seeing what the IDF soldiers saw, in real time, when they came upon the Nova Music Festival was haunting. I’ll never forget the bodies strewn everywhere, the anxiety in the voices of the IDF soldiers as they hoped to find anybody alive and the disappointment each time they realized that nobody was left alive.

The Nova music festival. I’ve seen the video of what the first responders of the IDF saw when they arrived and it’s horrifying.

In the United States, it is as if 9/11 never happened.  We blame Israel for it happening.  We hold Israel responsible for the evil of Hamas, using children, women, and the elderly as human shields.  We ignore the hostages, now taken over 160 days ago.  We excuse UNRWA for their participation in the horrors of October 7th, in hiding hostages after their abduction, and for their theft of humanitarian aid for the people of Gaza and diverted to Hamas.  When the people of Gaza riot because humanitarian aid is coming in and going to UNRWA to distribute and they know that means it goes to Hamas, we blame Israel.  When Hamas fires on the people of Gaza trying to get the humanitarian aid before Hamas can steal it, we blame Israel. We continue to fail to hold Hamas responsible or recognize that they are pure evil. 

We, and the world, have convinced ourselves, that this is between the Palestinians and the Israelis.  We have convinced ourselves that this is about the need for a Palestinian state or about Israeli construction in Judea and Samaria.  We fool ourselves into ignoring the influence of Iran and their goal of creating a new Caliphate, with the Iranians and radical Shiite Muslims in charge with everybody living under Sharia law.  We forget that we are the infidel they rail against, thinking it’s just Israel, it’s just the Jews.

We also forget that they hate anybody who isn’t like them, even other muslims. On October 7th, Hamas didn’t care if you were Jewish, Muslim, Christian, American, or Thai. They hated everybody. That’s what happens with evil. And if you don’t destroy evil, evil wins.

Hamas Also Slaughters Muslims

Even the people of Gaza are now holding Hamas responsible. Now that they don’t have to fear for their lives because Hamas killed any opposition and are not in charge any longer, they are speaking out loudly. While some of the people were involved with October 7th and many more support the hatred, there are plenty who want to live in peace with their neighbor Israel. I found the same thing in Judea and Samaria when, in 2019, I went to meet with leaders of Palestinian civil society. Take away the corrupt government and the evil of terrorists and there is a possibility for peace.

We choose to blame the government of Israel, Bibi Netanyahu, the far right fanatics in the government like Itamar Ben-Gvir, or the ultra-religious Jews in Israel for the hate coming from Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, and Iran.  We choose to excuse barbaric behavior because it is against Jews.   Remember #BringBackOurGirls from 2014 after 276 high school girls were abducted from a government school in Chibok, Nigeria?  Remember the number of celebrities who stood out, loud and proud, that no woman or girl should be taken captive, raped and held against their will?  That only counts if you aren’t Jewish.

Julia Roberts is one of many celebrities who spoke out in 2014 that remain silent now. Shame on them.

Remember 1979 and the hostage crisis in Iran?  It spawned the TV show Nightline to keep everybody up to date on a daily basis.  Yet the hostages taken by Hamas – including Americans and Muslims – draw no attention.   Kfir Bibas, stolen when he was 8 months old, celebrated his first birthday in captivity.  His four-year-old brother Ariel was also kidnapped and remains in captivity.  What type of barbarism is this and better yet, what type of human beings are we that allow this happen and aren’t marching in the streets of every country to free these babies?

Kfir and Ariel Bibas. Babies. Hostages. How the world is not outraged is inexcusable. It’s only a matter of time before it happens here.

Noa Argmani and Naama Levi, two beautiful young women were attending a music festival, like many of our young adults do.  They were attacked by butchers who murdered young adults in cold blood, savagely raped them for the crime of being in Israel.  Noa and Naama were taken hostage.  Who knows what brutality they have faced since October 7th?  We can all imagine the worst after what we saw these Hamas terrorists do to girls, women, and the elderly. 

Noa Argmani and Naama Levi, taken hostage by Hamas on October 7th. We don’t know what brutality they have faced or if they remain alive. Where is the outrage?

They aren’t the only young women taken hostage and being brutalized in the tunnels beneath Gaza.  And if you think it’s only over there and only Jewish women so you are safe, look at the signs held by AMERICANS in NEW YORK CITY on Sunday.  “Rape is resistance”.  “Babies are occupiers too”.  After the killing of George Floyd, we had resistance in major cities like Seattle, Portland, and Minneapolis.  Today these people would tell you that raping your wife, daughter, or mother would be acceptable because it’s ‘resistance’.  I remember reading about how in Seattle people went to homes and told the owners that it wasn’t their house.  That they were occupying land and had no right to live in the houses they purchased.  These same people would say that kidnapping their children would be acceptable because they were ‘occupiers’.  Don’t fool yourself that it is only there and only for Jews. 

Remember these signs when your baby is taken or when your wife, sister, daughter, or mother is raped. This is in NYC this past weekend!

Jews have long been the ‘canary in the coal mine’.  What happens to Jews happens to others afterward.  Take a minute to do a search for “Jews canary in the coal mine”.  You will see articles going back years documenting this.  It’s not post-October 7th.  It’s history.  When we allow this to happen, we encourage it to happen to us.

Just last week, an illegal migrant from Lebanon was caught at border.  He admitted that he is a Hezbollah terrorist and was hoping ‘to make a bomb’ and was headed for NY.  Terrorism is in the United States.  It’s just a matter of when and where the event happens. Or events happen. We are worried about planes that have issues with maintenance and construction while nobody has died in a major airline plane crash since 2009. How will we reconcile our priorities when people die in America at the hands of terrorists? Who will we blame? One thing we know for sure is that nobody will take responsibility.

Two weeks ago, a grenade was found in the back seat of an Uber in New York. As the bomb squad tried to get to the car to assess the situation, defuse the grenade, and save lives, Anti-Israel protesters blocked the police from reaching grenade in the Uber during a Times Square march. Luckily the grenade was inert and nobody was harmed by it. The hatred for Israel and Jews was more important than saving the lives of people in the area from a possible live grenade. We were lucky this time that it was inert. Next time?

People climbing on the police care as officers try to address a grenade in a nearby Uber
Protesters climbing on the police car and blocking police from getting to a nearby Uber with a grenade in it.

Last night was the ZOA gala in Hollywood, Florida. Peopel who support the existance of a Jewish homeland gathering together to celebrate it. We have many nation states in the world for people of all backgrounds, faiths, cultures, etc. There is only one Jewish state and that’s what Zionism is – the belief that we should have. Zionism is not colonialism as there is no desire to expand beyond our historical homeland. There is no aparthaid. The declaration of independence speaks clearly about being a home for all peoples. Zionism isn’t about Bibi Netanyahu, merely the most recent elected Prime Minister. His time will end and there will be a new Prime Minister. And a new one after that. And so on and so on. At this wonderful event last night, in order to ‘help Palestinians’, people assaulted a Jewish person with an Israeli flag. How does that help Palestinians? How does that help the people of Gaza? We know they don’t care about the hostages because they are Jewish. Instead of listening to the people of Gaza about Hamas and working to create a place where Palestinians can live peacefully with their neighbor Israel, instead of building a country with hospitals that are not armories, schools that teach math and science, not hate, these people merely want to hate. Watch th video and see hatred, see evil. If they really wanted to help the Palestinians and the people of Gaza they would listen to them and push for an end to Hamas.

Violence outside the ZOA gala just because he has an Israeli flag

Last week, I heard Senator Chuck Schumer speak passionately about Israel and Israel’s right, as a sovereign nation, to defend herself. He spoke about the evil of Hamas and how they must be defeated. He spoke about the special relationship between the United States and Israel. He was animated. He was passionate. Three days later, he completely backtracked, calling for early elections in a sovereign country. He let partisan politics overtake his moral, ethics, and values. I was disgusted. Not just disappointed, not just angry, but disgusted. Here is one of our elected leaders, in one of the most high ranking positions in our government, a self identified Jew, talking out of both sides of his mouth without integrity. This isn’t about likeing or not liking Bibi. This isn’t about thinking he is the problem or the solution. This is a democratic country that has free elections and has a process for them. Unlike the Palestinian Authority, where Mahmoud Abbas is now in year 19 of his 4 year team. Let that sink in for a minute. No calls for elections in year 19 of his 4 year term. I’m not sure Senator Schumer can regain my trust. Our leaders continue to lose our trust based on their lack of integrity, lack of morals and values. When our leaders don’t have them, how much longer can we exist as a democracy (or a republic for those who want to be critical).

Beware of Dangerous Advice: An Urgent Letter to President Biden

A TikTok trend in 2023 asked women to ask men how often they think about the Roman Empire.  Women were shocked that men think about the Roman empire so often. I think men think about it so often because it was an amazing, powerful empire. It gave the world so much. When we look back on it, we don’t understand how it ever fell. It was so powerful. It covered all aspects of life. It was on the cutting edge of everything. It was simply the best of the best. How did it every disappear? How did the Roman Empire fall?

I think we are seeing it firsthand now in both Europe and the United States. We are so full of ourselves that we have lost all common sense. Instead of striving to look at people as people, to find our similarities and focus on them instead of our differences, we now highlight our differences and minimize our similarities. We fill ourselves with hatred towards those that are different. We allow babies to be hostages. We allow women to be raped if it supports a cause. There is no right and wrong any longer. In the words of the Presidents of Penn, MIT, and Harvard, ‘it depends on the context’. It never depends on the context. Evil is bad. Period. You cannot justify evil. There is good and evil and there is a difference. The world is now attempting to justify evil. The world is ignoring the definitions of words like genocide and apartheid to make them into catch phrases that sound powerful and allows people who use them incorrectly to feel superior.

Rome fell for many reasons. The three most common reasons cited are corruption, the division of the empire, and invasion by Germanic tribes. We are filled with corruption in our world today and in our country. We are as divided as we have been since the civil war. All that is missing is the invasion. As we saw last week when a Hezbollah terrorist was caught with the intention to set off a bomb in NY, the invasion has begun.

Can the fall of the United States be that far away? Will future generations study us and the Roman empire and see the pattern and do better? Do we have a chance to save our country and our world? I don’t know but I get less optimistic each day as we sink further and further into the abyss of hate, divisiveness, and stupidity.

May the hostages come home safely and soon. May the war in Gaza end soon with the surrender of Hamas. May we wake up from this bizzaro world and return to one of sanity where, in the words of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

The great Dr. King. We need him now more than ever.

Right now, our nation and the world is getting a failing grade on the content of our character. And I fear for our future.

Humble and Kind with a side of Meatloaf

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

This week is another Tim McGraw song.  This one, “Humble and Kind”, is from 2016, once again highlighting how far behind I am in discovering country music legends.  I chose this for many reasons, as you will see below.  If you want to watch the video, I have included it.

The lyrics begin:

You know there’s a light that glows by the front door
Don’t forget the key’s under the mat
When childhood stars shine
Always stay humble and kind

Growing up, the key was always under the mat.  At my house or at my friends’ homes.  Everybody knew it, nobody took advantage.  It was a different time.  More than just having a key under the mat, the door was always open if you needed a place to go.  Many times, I had friends who needed to get out of their house and a safe place to hang out and sleep over.  My house was that place.  My parents would often joke that they didn’t know who was staying for dinner or who was gonna be there for breakfast.  They cared only to the extent that they wanted our house to always be a safe place for our friends.

It was a great lesson growing up.  Treat everybody the same.  It doesn’t matter what their home life is like, how much money they have, what type of prestige their family may or may not have.  People are people, friends are friends.  It was one of my first lessons in kindness and has left a deep impact on me and my siblings.  It was also a lesson in humility, one that I didn’t really understand until much later in life.  My parents didn’t do this for recognition.  It wasn’t something that was publicized amongst their peers in the neighborhood.  It was private.  It was personal.  It was about taking care of the kids, our friends, and making sure they had what they needed.  It was truly them being humble and kind.  It is why my childhood friends all have such strong respect and love for my parents to this day.


Go to church ’cause your mamma says to
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won’t be wasted time
Always stay humble and kind

This verse highlights three very important things.  First, listen to your parents.  When I reached my teens, all of a sudden I was brilliant and knew everything.  My parents knew nothing.  Listening to their guidance became optional for me and they had to force me to listen with threats of being grounded, losing access to a car, money, or the ability to go and do the things I wanted to do.  So, in this little, throw-away addition to the first line, the lesson is provided.   Listen to your parents.  They may seem old, boring, and not up to date with what’s happening in the world today.  And they may be.  But they also have the wisdom of life’s experiences and can help you avoid many pitfalls.  I often ask myself what my parents would say to me and when I am not sure, I call my mom for her guidance.  I always wish I could still call my dad.

Charles Barkely, one of my favorite commentators on life, puts his own spin on this

The second lesson is the importance of spirituality in our lives.  It doesn’t matter if you prefer church, synagogue, the mosque, temple, nature, the beach, or anything else.  Finding spirituality in your life provides a grounding base for life.  Life is filled with ups and downs, risks, and consequences.  Having that spiritual base provides comfort.  It opens the door to supportive relationships with others on that spiritual journey.  As we go on the journey of life, having a spiritual base anchors us, and provides us stability.  So, listen to your mamma, go to church (or synagogue or the mosque or the temple or experience nature or the beach), and build a spiritual base.  As you get older you can pick your own spiritual journey if the one you started on with your family doesn’t resonate. 

Finally, visit grandpa.  It’s not just grandpa.  It is grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, and all your relatives.  The time spent with family isn’t wasted time.  As I think of my childhood, growing up spending significant time with all four of my grandparents, my great grandmother Rose, my aunts and uncles, and my cousins, I am so grateful for it.  I think of going with my grandpa Si to visit his father, my ‘Poppy’.  Poppy was already in his 90s when I remember him.  He didn’t move well, he didn’t speak much.  We would go over to see him, for my grandpa to give him a shave, and for me to sit on his lap as his great grandson.  I remember the day he died and how sad I was to not be able to see him any longer.  I was only six years old and when I talk about him with my brother, who is three years younger than me, he doesn’t even remember visiting him. 

With my Grandpa Si. I have great pictures and memories with all my grandparents.

I think of the many lessons all of my grandparents taught me.  Their love, guidance and support is something that I treasure.  I watched my parents with my children emulate them.  I watched the way my in-laws interact as their parents did with my wife and her sisters.  It becomes a generational connection with the lessons of family, love, respect, honor, humility, and kindness being transmitted from one generation to another.  I look forward to the day when I become a grandfather and have that opportunity to fulfill that role.  I know that my great-grandparents, my grandparents, and my parents will be on my shoulders guiding me, helping to ensure that my grandchildren are also humble and kind people as they grow up and enter the world.

My sister called me today to talk about our Grandma Esther, who died more than 25 years ago. That’s a true legacy.


Hold the door, say “please”, say “thank you”
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb
But always stay humble and kind

My Grandma Ev and my mom, her daughter, were always on us about manners.  Holding the door.  Saying please and thank you.  Writing thank you notes.  Helping to clean up after meals.  If we ever referred to my mom as ‘she’, we were told that is the cat (we never had a cat) and were to use proper names.  I can still hear them saying, “What’s the magic word?” (the answer is please),   I remember in middle school when we took home economics, the issue of manners was an easy one for me because it was drilled into me at home.  It’s something that I have endeavored to do with my children as well.  It doesn’t take much to have manners, just some effort.

Grandpa Len, Grandma Ev, Grandma Esther and Grandpa Si. That’s me with the big grin. I’m so lucky to have had the relationship with them that I did.

The other lesson this part of the song highlights for me is to have morals and ethics.  My grandparents would emphasize this all the time.  Who you are when nobody is looking is who you are.  What you do when nobody sees is what shows your morals, values, and ethics.  If you want to be a good person, then you do it all the time, not just when people are watching.   The future is unlimited, and we were taught not to take shortcuts to get there.  No stealing, cheating, or lying.  We learned early on that we got in much more trouble for lying than telling the truth.  I remember getting caught cheating on a test in high school and getting in much more trouble for that than failing the exam and getting a bad grade that marking period.   As kids, when we would take something from a store without paying, we were made to not just return it but to apologize to the store owner.  Raising my children, I have done the same thing and shared the same messages.  I’m proud of the people my sons are.  How they live their lives and live their values.   And I know my grandparents are looking down and smiling, knowing it was their influence.

We have bright and exciting futures ahead of us, no matter where we are in life.  It’s important to remember that throughout the journey we must remain humble and kind.

When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride
But always stay humble and kind

As I just wrote, we have bright and exciting futures.  In the words of Theodore Herzl, “If you will it, it is no dream.”  So, the dreams we have require work to realize.  My grandparents and parents always taught me that.  The effort was more important than the results since the only thing we can control is our own effort.  When I got an A but didn’t study, it didn’t impress my parents.  If I worked really hard and ended up with a B, they were incredibly proud.  The same was true in sports.  Working hard to improve was more important than being the star.  It’s the work you put in that means everything.  It also may result in achieving your dreams.

The full Theodore Herzl Quote

I remember my first semester in grad school, I got 2 A’s and 2 B’s.  My advisor called me to his office and told me that serious graduate students didn’t get B’s.   I took that to heart and for the rest of that degree, I worked harder and got all A’s.  It was the effort that mattered.

This lyric reminds us of that.  We can be proud of our results.  Graduating high school, college, graduate school, law school, medical school, or building a successful business are all wonderful achievements.  The important part is the work we put in.  So go ahead and feel the pride of the accomplishment but more importantly, recognize the effort that went into achieving the goal.  That’s what really matters.  So don’t be full our ourselves for the accomplishment.  Instead, be humble and kind, because it’s the effort that really matters, not the accomplishment.  Celebrate the effort, appreciate the gift of the accomplishment.


Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why
Bitterness keeps you from flyin’
Always stay humble and kind

I love how these lyrics build off each other.  Just as I finish writing about how it’s the effort that matters, not the outcome, the song emphasizes this with stating there is no free ride.  Nobody gives you anything, it’s all earned.  So if you are going to have to earn what you get, don’t hold grudges or live with a chip on your shoulder.  Living with bitterness only diminishes ourselves.  It doesn’t hurt the other person.  It’s like being angry at somebody and punching yourself in the face.  They don’t feel a thing, but we sure do. 

If our goal in life is to enjoy every minute, why would we want to limit ourself because of other people?  Why would we want to let other people rent space in our heads without paying for it?  That’s why the song reminds us to stay humble and kind.  By doing that, we aren’t letting somebody else control our lives.  We aren’t giving our power away to somebody we don’t even like.  It’s an important life lesson for happiness.  Often we think that our ego will make us feel good when in reality, it’s being humble and kind, focusing on our own part and not worrying about other people’s behavior.


Know the difference between sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
“I love you” ain’t no pick-up line
So always stay humble and kind

‘”I love you” ain’t no pick-up line’ is such a powerful statement.   In today’s world, love becomes a word that is thrown around too often and recklessly.  It was the key word to use when you were trying to sleep with somebody.  Telling them you loved them was the key statement.  If you were able to throw that out there, sex was the likely outcome.  But then you were stuck with the impact of your words.

It reminds me of one of my favorite songs, Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf. 

How often do I get to use a song as I analyze the lyrics of another song?  In Paradise, the end of the song is the perfect example of this.

I couldn’t take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother’s grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
So now I’m praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
‘Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don’t think that I can really survive
I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I’m praying for the end of time
It’s all that I can do
Praying for the end of time,
So I can end my time with you!

The risk of throwing the phrase ‘I love you’ out there recklessly is that if you have morals and ethics, you get stuck.  Meatloaf said it to get what he wanted and now is ‘praying for the end of time.”  Our desires to sleep with someone instead of sleeping with someone you love can be compared to many of our choices where we go against our morals, ethics, and values.   When we stick to them, when we remain humble and kind, we don’t have to worry about praying for the end of time.  Kindness and humility doesn’t just help others, it helps us.


When it’s hot, eat a root beer popsicle
Shut off the AC and roll the windows down
Let that summer sun shine
Always stay humble and kind

As the song begins to conclude, the lyrics get more general about life itself  Appreciate what we have when we have it.  When its hot, have something cool.  Enjoy the moment.  Don’t worry about what we don’t have, focus on what we have.  Grab the opportunity with two hands and enjoy every moment of it.

I remember growing up and spending summers at my grandparents’ house.  The ice cream (or Good Humor as my grandfather would say) man would come every day and getting that popsicle or ice cream on a hot afternoon was everything.  It was simple.  It was delicious.  It was special.  Asking for that dime (and then quarter as I got older, and prices went up) was a big deal.  Running after the truck, catching it, and walking away satisfied made the entire day.  It’s hard to believe today, but AC wasn’t a given back then.  Fans would be moving the air, windows would be open, and we would wear shorts and t-shirts.  TV was only on at night, starting with the news.  That summer sun shone and we took advantage of it and enjoyed every moment.

It’s a life lesson for today.  Forget about video games, screens, monitors, and staying inside.  Sit outside and read a book.  Go for a walk.  Play outside with friends.  Go for a swim.  Be with other people in person.  Don’t use zoom or facetime or internet and headphones with a video game.  Be in person.  Interact with other people.  Pay attention to their nonverbal communication because you are really ‘with’ them, not just in the same place virtually. 

Be humble about the toys and the technology.  Be kind with your time.  There is nothing like being together in person with people.  Don’t ever forget that.


Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you’re going don’t forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind

The closes with an important reminder.  Don’t take things for granted.  Don’t expect there will always be time to say what you want to people.  To get together with people.  Don’t take for granted the people who love you and who go out of their way to help in any way they can. 

When you reach new status in life, don’t forget the people who were there along the way.  If you move to a nicer house, in a different neighborhood, don’t forget your friends who were there for you during the times you lived in your old house in your old neighborhood.  If your life changes to where you are now traveling to exotic places where some of your old friends can’t go, don’t leave them behind.  Make the time to be with them and enjoy every minute in the places you can both be at.  The one thing we know is that life will change.  Our circumstances will change and be different from our friends and loved ones.  The question is will we change?  Will we still talk to the people we talked to every day before things changed?  Will we judge them for the difference in status or accept and love them for who they are?  We may not notice our behavior, but they will.  And when we need them in the future, they won’t forget that we forgot them.  People are not disposable. 

The final two lines focus on three things, two of which we have repeatedly discussed and will close with.  Humble and Kind.  The other is helping others.  It often takes very little to help somebody else.  Holding a door, sharing an umbrella, giving somebody a ride, letting them use your phone.  So many little things happen every single day where we have the opportunity to lighten up somebody else’s day with a little kindness and humility.  The three go together to make the type of world we all want to live in.  Don’t shirk your responsibility.  Remember to help.  Remember to be humble.  And remember to be kind.

Thoughts after the AIPAC Policy Summit

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

In a Bari Weiss piece for the Free Press after their recent visit to Israel, she said,

“There was not a single conversation that I had in the week I spent in Israel where the person did not say a version of the following: There was an October 6 version of me and an October 7 version of me. I am forever changed. I am a different person.“

That hits home for me as there is no question that October 7th changed me forever.  I have always been a passionate Zionist.  My grandparents and parents raised me that way.  They were passionate about have a Jewish homeland, my grandparents living in America during the Shoah and my parents being born at the end of it.  I will never forget my grandfather telling how they listened to the UN vote on a transistor radio and how they celebrated when the vote came in that ensured a Jewish state would be created.  It was dream to visit Israel and after I graduated college, my present was a 4 week trip to Israel.

I have been back to Israel 19 more times since then (total of 20 visits) and can never get another or stay long enough.  There is something in the air, on the ground, that is special.  The food is amazing, and I love the people, the beaches, the green of the north, the beauty of the desert.  My favorite place changes all the time.  Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Haifa, the Galil.    On my last visit I fell in love with Ir Yamim, a southern suburb of Netanya.  Suffice it to say that I love Israel and am a proud Zionist.

Horseback riding with my friend Remo Eyal in Netanya on the beach of the Mediterranean Sea in Netanaya.

As a proud Zionist, I got involved with AIPAC (The American Israel Public Affairs Committee) more than 25 years ago.  I was awarded the campus ally one year and been to many conferences.  With the shift away from the big 20,000-person policy conference to the much smaller 1,400 Policy Summits, I have still been invited and have attended the first two that have been held.  This week was the second and it was truly incredible.

AIPAC gets important politicians to address the summit.  As a non-partisan organization that works in a bi-partisan manner, that means we hear from leaders of both parties as well as leaders of Israel.  This year was no exception. 

We heard from all four leaders of the House and Senate.  Representative Leader Hakim Jeffries and Speaker of the House Mike Johnson as well as Senators Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell.  All were powerfully pro-Israel.  It made Thursday’s speech by Senator Schumer hurt even more as he was so positive when he spoke on Monday night.  To call on Israel to replace their democratically elected leader in a country that has had more elections in the past few years than we can count and not call on the Palestinian Authority to have elections to end the 19 years that Mahmoud Abbas has served in his 4 year elected term is offensive. To meddle publicly in the politics of a key ally in the middle of an existential war is unacceptable. It is a reminder of why we have the challenges we do. Israel remains held to a different standard than anybody else in the world. Compared, to House Minority Leader Jeffries, who doubled down on Israel needing to eliminate Hamas, it was quite a contrast. 

Representative Hakim Jeffries, Minority Leader in the House
Senator Mitch McConnell, Minority Leader in the Senate
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson
Senator Chuck Schumer, majority leader in the Senate

Senators Rick Scott and John Fetterman were two of the leaders who attended the special dinner on Monday night, each holding court with attendees to talk, answer questions and support Israel.  Representatives Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Brian Mast were also there, and I am sure there were many others that I didn’t get to see.

Representatives Don Davis (D-NC) and Rep Young Kim (R-CA) spoke together with incredible passion.  Rep Davis is African American and Rep Kim is an Asian American.  They showed that Israel is not just a Jewish issue and I hope many others follow their lead.  It was inspiring to hear them speak.

Representative Young Kim and Representative Don Davis

Brett McGuirk, Deputy Assistant to the President and National Security Council Coordinator for the Middle East and North African gave us incredible insight into what’s going on.  It was incredible to hear directly from him and we learned a great deal. 

Israeli Opposition party leader Yair Lapid spoke to use by satellite from Israel.  He was powerful and inspired us all.  Israeli Ambassador Michael Herzog spoke to us in person, inspiring us as the Israeli Ambassador.  At the end of the conference, Prime Minister Netanyahu also addressed the crowd by satellite, although I had to leave before then as I had lobbying appointments on Capitol Hill to get to. 

Israeli Opposition Leader Yair Lapid
Israeli Ambassador to the US Michael Herzog

Two of the best we heard from were Wesley Bell, running against Rep Cori Bush, a vile antisemite, and George Latimer, running against Jamal Bowman, another vile antisemite.  Both members of the squad are behind in the polls and hearing Bell and Latimer speak gave great hope for a different Congress in 2025 that is more pro-Israel and one that is more educated on the issues and the realities. 

George Latimer and Wesley Bell – hopefully they defeat Jamal Bowman and Cori Bush, two vile antisemites.

Senators Kirstin Gillibrand and Joni Ernst were on a panel with Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz.  They each spoke powerfully and beautifully about Israel, the evil of Hamas, and the need for Israel to destroy Hamas. 

As you can see, it was a powerful group of leaders who spoke to us.  But that wasn’t the most powerful part of the conference.  The most powerful part of the conference were the Israeli’s we heard from who were there on October 7th.  Who experienced the terror, who lost loved ones, and parents whose dual citizen son, Omer Neutra, remains a hostage.  Omer graduated high school and decided to spend a gap year in Israel.  While spending his gap year in Israel, he decided that rather than return to the US for college, he wanted to enlist in the IDF and serve Israel.  On October 7th he was taken hostage and has not been heard from since.  Omer is all our children.  We can all related to a child taking a gap year and being inspired while doing so.  He could be in college right now, but instead chose to serve the Jewish people in the IDF.  He has not been a hostage for nearly 160 days.  As we listened to his parents, all we could think of was that Omer could be our child and he quickly became our child and our cause.  When we heard a dual citizen hostage was found to have been murdered on October 7th and Hamas still has his body, we were all horrified and fearful it was Omer.  Our hearts broke for the family of Itai Chen, who learned of his death FIVE MONTHS after it happened.  Who don’t have his body to bury and the ability for closure. 

Omer Neutra’s picture as his parents spoke to us. It was heartbreaking. Bring them home NOW!

We heard from a young woman named Or Tzuk who lives in Kfar Aza.  I want to warn you that this story is graphic.  She and her husband were away on holiday the weekend of October 7th.  Hamas terrorists broke into her house and murdered her father, mother, and their dog.  Her brother, who in her words is like a ‘big American’, hid under the bed and wasn’t found.  Hamas shot bullets all around the house with a number of them grazing him.  He laid in his parents and their dog’s blood and urine for 7 hours before being rescued.  7 hours lying in his parent’s blood and urine, looking at their dead bodies and the dead body of his dog.  When rescued, he took off his shirt to be examined and they found that his mother’s teeth were embedded in his skin.  I can’t even imagine.  She now wears combat boots all the time.  She has to have an exit strategy in every room she is in.  She has difficulty sleeping.  Listening to her talk was heartbreaking. 

Or Tzuk speaking on the Israeli news 10 days after the Hamas massacre of October 7th. Her pain wasn’t any less when she spoke to us 5 months later.

We heard from a Nehoray Levy, a young man who was at the Nova Music Festival.  He ran and was able to escape.  He hid for hours alone.  When things got quiet, he got up and ran to where he saw others who had escaped the music festival and hid together with them until they were rescued. 

Nehoray recorded a farewell message to his parents and family during the Hamas attack. It’s painful to watch as he says his goodbyes, not sure if he will survive.

Daniel Waiss, who sang Hatikvah, lost both his parents on October 7th, part of the time lying between the dead bodies of his friends.  I can’t imagine spending hours lying between the dead bodies of my friends, hoping and praying that the terrorists don’t come find me and kill me too.  He had decided to use his music as a way to heal not only himself but others who have been traumatized.  He has gone back to the area where the terrorists murdered his family and performed a concert for them.  He sang beautifully and while Hatikvah is always powerful and meaningful when I sing it, this one was the most meaningful I have ever sung. 

Daniel Wais singing on YouTube

After this, filled with energy and passion on behalf of the American-Israel relationship and Israel itself, we went to the Hill to lobby our Central Florida Senators and Representatives.  All support Israel.  Almost all agreed that Israel must do whatever it takes to defeat Hamas.  They all listened to us and heard our message.  I hope they all support the aid package to Israel.  I hope they all understand what Israel faces.  Most do, but not all.  I spent Tuesday on the Hill, doing my part to advocate for Israel and the American Israeli relationship.  When my future grandchildren ask me what I did after October 7, 2023, I have an answer for them.  I didn’t sit silently.  I didn’t hide.  I became more publicly Jewish.  I worked with our legislators.  I attended the rally in DC.  I took action.  I hope that you will have answer for your grandchildren as well. 

Representative Darren Soto
Representative Daniel Webster
Representative Maxwell Frost – I did a bad job taking the picture

As a proud Jew and a proud Zionist, I have struggled greatly since October 7th.  One image I will never forget was on the news that day.  It was a minivan on the side of the road.  The driver, the father of family, had been murdered and was slumped over the steering wheel.  His young daughter was also murdered, slumped over him.  It’s an image that will never leave my mind.  I saw the Hamas 47-minute video and there are many images there that I will never forget and that will never leave my mind.

Since October 7th I have ordered a special Magen David (star of David) from Israel that I wear daily.  I got my ‘Bring Them Home Now’ and ‘We will Dance Again’ dog tags from Israel that I wear every day. I got a new “Am Yisrael Chai’” pendant.  As requested by Rachel Goldberg, the mother of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, the American Israeli who lost an arm at the Nova Music Festival and was taken hostage, I put the masking tape over my heart and use a sharpie to chronicle how many days the hostages have been in captivity.  I get asked about that more than anything else. 

My newest necklace

This AIPAC Policy Summit was powerful for me as it wasn’t just an opportunity to learn about policy, hear from politicians, lobby on the hill, and see some cool Israeli things.  It was a chance to hear from Israeli’s personally impacted by October 7th.  To hear their stories from their own mouths, in their own words.  I’ll never forget their faces, their voices, or their stories. 

When he was Hillel International President, Avraham Infeld used to say all the time that ‘Judaism is NOT a religion.’   He would step back, say it again, and then say, ‘See, I wasn’t struck by lightning.   Judaism is a mishpacha (family) who share a common religion.’  Ambassador Michael Oren reiterated this in his column today. As a mishpacha, the people murdered on October 7th are my family.  The people taken hostage on October 7th are my family.  The people currently still being held hostage are my family.  The IDF soldiers fighting and dying to eliminate the evil that is Hamas are my family.  The civilians attacked in the streets in Israel and stabbed are my family.  I stand with my family.  I stand with Israel.   Am Yisrael Chai.

With Michael Oren at the Orlando JNF event. He is truly a brilliant man and worth following his writings.
Am Yisrael Chai – The people of Israel live!

Sunday Song – what if we really could write a letter to a younger self?

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Today’s song is “Letter to Me” by Brad Paisley from 2015.  I find it very inspirational and thoughtful as I’m sure most of us have often thought about what we might tell the 17-year-old version of ourselves if we had the ability to go back and give some advice. 

The song begins:

If I could write a letter to me and send it back in time to myself at 17
First I’d prove it’s me by saying
“Look under your bed, there’s a Skoal can and a Playboy no one else would know you hid.”

We all have said to ourselves, “If I only knew then what I know now” about something.  How would we even know it was us from the future to know to listen?  The beginning of the song is that connection point between the us of today and the us of then.  We all had things hidden, secrets we kept from others when we were teenagers.  The connection here reminds us that we are still the person we were in the past, just changed by experiences and time.  And we can connect with that person from the past anytime we want by channeling those things that meant a lot to us and we didn’t share.

I spent this past weekend with my mom, brother and sister for a family Bat Mitzvah.  As we talked about our kids and lessons they have learned or are learning, my brother brought up how he always uses me as the example to his kids.  He does this, not because I was a pillar of virtue but actually because I wasn’t.  I’m the cautionary tale because I pushed the boundaries and took silly risks and did risky things.  The me of today wouldn’t be recognized by the 17-year-old version of myself and I would need to provide some sort of ‘street cred’ to convince that 17 year old version of myself that I really was the same person, just grown up. 

We don’t have to be embarrassed by the person we were.  We can identify with them and appreciate them for who they were and grateful that we are who we are today.  We don’t have to be trapped by our past and can look forward to the present and the future. 

And then I’d say I know it’s tough
When you break up after seven months
And, yeah, I know you really liked her, and it just don’t seem fair
But all I can say is pain like that is fast and it’s rare.

It’s funny how our world view changes as we get older.  As a teenager, a month was forever.  As an adult, a month disappears so quickly it’s hard to believe.  A seven-month relationship at 17 seems like forever.  Having been married almost 26 years, seven months is the blink of an eye.  Being able to put context to time only happens with maturity.  That 17-year-old version of myself would be devastated losing a relationship after seven months.  That was an eternity.  The song reminds us of a few things.

First, life isn’t fair.  Life is life.  It comes how it comes and it is all about how we deal with the things that come.  Sometimes that means we have to deal with pain.  The good news is the pain will pass or lessen.  But it takes time.  And at 17, time isn’t something we understand.  My senior year of high school I had a relationship that ended after around 8-9 months.  I was devastated.  I thought she was the one.  We’d been together such a long time.  When I look back, I can appreciate the pain and can appreciate how time is completely relative.  And while it felt like the pain lasted a long time, it really didn’t.  It was fast.  I moved on.  I haven’t seen or talked to her in nearly 40 years.  What was so incredibly painful at 17 passed quickly, even though at the time it felt slow.  It’s critical to remember that time is precious and goes too fast.  At 17 it didn’t seem that way.  Now it seems to go far too fast.

And, oh, you got so much going for you, going right
But I know at 17 it’s hard to see past Friday night
She wasn’t right for you and still you feel like there’s a knife sticking out of your back and you’re wondering if you’ll survive it
You’ll make it through this and you’ll see you’re still around to write this letter to me

Perspective is one of those things we all need and struggle with.  The song continues by pointing out to the 17-year-old version that so much is going right yet the focus is on the one thing that isn’t.  And even though she wasn’t right for him, and he probably knew it at 17, it still hurts.  Pain is a part of life.  If we are going to live life, we are going to experience pain.  People will disappoint us.  People will leave us.  Things won’t always go the way we want them to.  Yet we move forward and get beyond the immediate hurt into a better future.

My friend and spiritual advisor, Mickey Singer, always talks about preference.  It’s preference that gets us into trouble.  We prefer something go a certain way because of our limited view.  He reminds me that things happen the way they are supposed to happen.  Our job is to get rid of preference and understand that.  It’s the short-term view vs. the long-term view.  When I look back at the life my 17-year-old self wanted and expected, mine is very different.  It’s better.  More fulfilling.  More successful in almost every way possible.  If I had stuck with what I wanted at 17, I would have shorted myself an incredible amount.

Like the song says, in the moment we may wonder if we’ll ever get through the pain but we always will if we keep moving forward.  And at some point we will be able to look back, appreciate what we went through for what it taught us and what we learned, and be incredibly grateful we are where we are and not back where we would have been.

At the stop sign at Tomlinson and 8th, I always stop completely, don’t just tap your brakes
And when you get a date with Bridget, make sure the tank is full
On second thought, forget it, hat one turns out kinda cool.

This verse makes me laugh.  It’s the older version trying to give basic advice to the younger version.  Stop completely at the stop sign.  I think back to the younger version of myself and what advice I’d give myself like this.  The girls I didn’t realize liked me and in hindsight saw they did.  The opportunities I missed that I could have taken advantage of.  The small things that my younger self would have appreciated but really don’t mean anything.  The older version realizes this when he starts saying to make sure the tank is full of gas.  That’s the adult thing to do.  The younger version ended up with a great experience and story.  Our older selves don’t always know best. 

I think about appreciating the challenges that I had growing up.  My older self could give advice that would let me avoid lots of mistakes and awkward situations.  But then I would not be the person that I am.  I would not be able to do the things I can do.  I wouldn’t have learned the lessons I did to become who I am.  So as much as the older me thinks it would be nice to save the younger version of me some pain, grief, and embarrassment, just like in the song, the realization that it really was for the best is critical. 

It’s another reminder that we aren’t in charge.  As Mickey would tell me regularly, we are here to experience life and everything that comes with it.  Each experience we have in life is a gift, even the things we don’t prefer (there is that preference again).  They shape who we are, who we will become, and how we will impact and change the world.  It gives us a chance to be grateful for every experience because even the painful ones will pass.  I am who I am today because of the experiences of my life to this point.  Why would I want a younger me to miss those experiences when it would mean I wouldn’t be who I am? 

Each and every time you have a fight, just assume you’re wrong and dad is right
And you should really thank Ms. Brinkman
She spends so much extra time, it’s like she sees a diamond underneath
And she’s polishing you ’til you shine.

This reminds me of a famous Mark Twain saying that I heard years ago.  “The older we get, the smarter my parents become.”  As a teen, I was sure that my dad didn’t get it.  He was a child of the 50s and 60s.  I was a child of the 70s and 80s.  It was a different time.  What did he know about modern times?  And yet, the older I got, the more I realized his wisdom.  The more I understood that he did know what he was talking about and the more I sought his advice.  Now that he isn’t here any longer, I miss his wisdom and advice.  I often find myself wanting to ask him for that guidance, to share his wisdom.  I’m glad that I got smarter as I got older and had a chance to learn from him.  It allows me the opportunity to imagine what he would say.  The messages that he would tell me.  It’s because I had a chance to learn from him that I can apply that knowledge to imagine what he’d say and how he’d guide me. 

The second line is the reminder to appreciate all the other teachers and influencers in our lives.  Often times we don’t appreciate those who give us that guidance as mentors, role models, friends, and teachers.  As I think back, there are many people I would like to say thank you to.  People who believed in me and encouraged me to try a little harder, show up a little more, put in that extra effort.  They saw the diamond in the rough and were willing to invest their time, energy, and effort into polishing it (me).

It also reminds me that I have that same responsibility today.  I find that there are so many amazing people out there that just need some encouragement, somebody who will invest time in them, somebody who believes in them.  I am proud of the people who I have been able to serve that role for.  One of them recently said to me:

“My time at UF was shaped by talking with you and others who taught me more than I ever would have done in a classroom.“

It’s nice to know that I have been paying it forward on behalf of those who did the same for me.  I believe it’s our responsibility to both realize and recognize those who provided that mentorship and guidance to us and to pay it forward with others.  It’s what makes the world better.  I have a number of people that I have been able to play that role for and as they achieve success and do amazing things to change the world, I know I had a small part in it.  It’s very gratifying.  If I could go back to my 17-year-old self, I would want to encourage that kid to say thank you and recognize those people.  A thank you means the world and from personal experience, just makes me want to help more people.  I wonder how many other people would be impacted if that 17 year old version of me recognized and thanked all those people who saw potential and invested in me?

Oh, you got so much going for ya, going right
But I know, at 17 it’s hard to see past Friday night
Tonight’s the bonfire rally but you’re staying home insteadBecause if you fail algebra, mom and dad’ll kill you dead
But trust me, you’ll squeak by and get a C
And you’re still around to write this letter to me

Once again, the song focuses on perspective.  The end of the week and the weekend was everything.  A week was a long time.  The events and choices we made seemed so critical, so essential.  Algebra and grades.  SAT scores.  Who to take to prom.  The things that seem so important at the time that in hindsight really weren’t.

It’s also a lesson that sometimes good enough is good enough.  It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for excellence.  Nobody can be excellent in everything all the time.  Nobody can know everything about everything.  It’s simply not a realistic expectation yet as teenagers we often think it is what we need to do.  There are times when being perfect or the best isn’t what is needed.  Sometimes we just need to get by.  Sometimes success is simply accomplishing the goal, passing the class, doing what it takes. 

Expectations, often unrealistic ones, cause us much harm.  They are usually not based on fact or on what we really can accomplish.  They tend to come from other people or from societal expectations.  As we get older, we have the ability to choose to accept them or not.  As a teen, our parents, teachers, and peers have undue influence.  The song reminds us that we don’t have to accept the expectations put upon us by others.  We can choose to if we want, but it’s a choice.  We are not doomed to fail because we didn’t meet the expectations of others. 

You’ve got so much up ahead
You’ll make new friends
You should see your kids and wife

The future is bright.  We can get the things we really want.  More is ahead than behind.  These are all messages our 17-year-old self needs to hear.  The person we thought was “the one” at 17 may or may not be.  That relationship not working out doesn’t mean we’ll never be married, never have kids. 

We can look to the future with excitement no matter our age.  There is always so much ahead, even the older we get.  The length of time to experience thing may be shorter than at 17 but that doesn’t mean there are not new adventures and experiences ahead.

Life is a journey.  We make new friends.  We have new experiences.  Things continue to change in our lives.  We don’t have to worry if it will or won’t change – it will!  We don’t have to wonder if it will be good.  It may not be what we want.  It may not be what we hoped.  Iti s what is on our journey.

I love the line, “you should see your kids and wife.”  There isn’t any detail added to the statement.  It doesn’t say they are amazing or incredible.  Yet that is what is inferred.  It reminds us that we don’t need all the detail to know something is good.  And as we look towards the future, we don’t know what will be.  When we look back, we can be filed with gratitude for what we got.

And I’ll end by saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life
I guess I’ll see you in the mirror when you’re a grown man.

We often think of times in the past as being the best years of our lives.  Especially when we are looking at times when we didn’t have significant responsibilities.  It’s also easy to think that our high school years are the best years of our life and perhaps we are wasting them. Or our college years.  Or our 20s or 30s.  The reality is that today is the best year of our life all the time.  It’s about what we do with our time, not when or where we are in life.  Our job is to seize the day.  Make the most of the day, of the time, of the life that we have rather than thinking about the life we used to have. 

P.S. go hug Aunt Rita every chance you can.

And oh, you got so much going for you going right
But I know, at 17 it’s hard to see past Friday night

I love the P.S.  This is the reminder to tell the ones we love that we love them.  To appreciate those in our lives while we still can.  I was blessed to have my Great Grandma Rose in my life into my 20s.  All four grandparents into my 20s.  Two grandfathers into my early 30s.  My dad into my mid 50s.  My mom today.  My in-laws today.  I would love to have them all today, but I also don’t have any regrets for not hugging them, telling them I love them, or spending time with them.  I took advantage of every chance I had.  One of my favorite stories about my Great Grandma Rose happened near the end of her life.  I had sent her a card just because I loved her and was thinking of her.  My Grandpa Si was visiting her and she was so excited.  She kept telling him, “I got a letter from Keith, I got a letter from Keith.”   Grandpa Si asked her, “Well what did it say?”  She responded, “I don’t know, I can’t read it.  But I got a letter from Keith.”  Just thinking about it makes me smile. 

We are all limited by time.  Don’t miss the time you have with the ones you love.  Another day is never promised.  Make sure they know how you feel about them and spend the time with them while you can.  My mom, brother, sister, and I all just spent the weekend in Chicago for a family Bat Mitzvah.  It was a wonderful time being with family and even more special to have the four of us together.  I never want to wish I had spent more time with them or told them I loved them.  That’s the lesson in this song. 

Dancing with my mom. All 3 of us took a turn.

I wish you’d study Spanish, I wish you’d take a typing class
I wish you wouldn’t worry and let it be
Hey, I’d say have a little faith and you’ll see

If I could write a letter to me

The last line of the song has a bit of irony.  It’s the little things you don’t think about as a teen that can have a long-term benefit as an adult.  Learning Spanish, a language that helps a career.  Typing to make computer use easier.  There are so many mundane choices we make as kids that seem unimportant but in hindsight we’d change.  My son took French, a great language.  Spanish would have been more helpful.  When I was in middle school we had to take Cooking, Sewing, Metal Shop, Wood shop, Drafting, and more.  I learned how to cook.  I learned how to sew.  I learned to use power tools.  I learned that I didn’t have the skills to be an architect.  Usable skills that helped me in life.  It’s sad to me that kids today don’t have those same life skills as courses in school.  It also tells us that we can still learn Spanish, typing, cooking, sewing, etc.  It’s never too late to learn the things we want.  And just because we missed an earlier window doesn’t mean we can’t revisit it in the future.

The song resonates with me because the letter ends up being something entirely different than what most of us think we would right.  It’s not a lecture nor is directions to avoid the mistakes we think we made.  It’s advice and guidance to enjoy the time in high school and all the time ahead until the age we are when we write the letter.  It’s validation and suggestions to help appreciate all that we have.  It’s a reminder that no matter how young or old we are, we have the ability to enjoy the moment for what it is and not be fixated on what we think it should be. 

My life has had ups and down.  Good times and bad.  Challenges and rewards.  When I stop, take a deep breath, and truly look at what I have in my life, it doesn’t matter what stage I am in, it’s a good life.  It’s filled with meaning.  I can appreciate my family and all the wonder in my life even when it isn’t perfect.  And I don’t have to worry, I can let it be, and have a little faith, because I will end up looking at the same self in the mirror either way.   I can choosee to enjoy the journey.

PS – Since the song has a PS, so does this blog.  My last post was about friendship and what is a friend.  One of my friends sent me this, which totally resonates with me.  In fact, many of my friends and I have basically said the same thing to each other many times.

The value of real friends

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Friendship is an interesting thing.  It’s based on mutual respect and trust.  It’s something that is based in faith and belief.  There is no way to ‘prove’ that somebody is your friend.  There are plenty of times when one person thinks they are friends, and the other person thinks they are acquaintances.  Or you say ‘friends’ but don’t really mean you have depth of friendship; it is just easier than saying acquaintances.

Over the past 1 ½ years, I have had the opportunity to learn first-hand about friendship and what it really means to me.   When my dad died in September 2022, I saw who reached out, who showed up, and who really cared.  When these things happen, it’s always a surprise, as people who I think will show up don’t, and people I never imagined would show up, do.  Friendship is about showing up.  It’s about being there because you are care about the other person. 

Over the last 18 months, my life has taken many twists and turns.  There have been ups and downs, challenges, and successes.  As life has shown up, so have my real friends.  Those who I thought were friends and didn’t show up, indicated that I was wrong.  We were merely acquaintances, people with a shared interest, but not friends.  It’s been amazing to see the character of different people through this process and it has allowed me to make changes in who I want in my life and who really matters.

This week alone has had a number of instances that highlight true friendship.  A good friend of mine’s husband died 3 weeks ago.  I knew him as well and while he wasn’t in good health, nobody expected him to die when he did. I reached out when I heard and then called her yesterday to connect and talk.  Despite all that she is going through, she wanted to know about me.  We connected on a deep level and finished by telling each other “I love you’.  It’s a deep and wonderful friendship that I treasure. 

Another friend reached out because he is being interviewed for a PBS special and wanted to both tell me he is talking about me and also ask for a picture as they want one to show during the documentary.  I was blown away and humbled when he shared this with me.  We have been friends since he was an undergraduate student at The University of Florida (UF), and I was running UF Hillel.  I made sure he went to Israel as a student and served as a reference for him to do his master’s internship in Israel.  We have remained close over the past 20 years, and I let him know exactly what it meant to me that he chose to talk about me.  I’ve followed his career and been proud to call him a friend.  We check in with each other and check on each other.

I have a few friends that I speak with a few times a week and have done so for decades.  We support each other through challenging times and have been there during the good times and the bad.  Despite talking 3-4 times per week, it’s always a joy when their name pops up on my phone.  I know that I can call them and talk about anything, and they know the same about me.  When I think about how important that is, I am astounded that I have so many of them.  I always thought I’d be lucky to have one friend like that and I have half a dozen. They truly are like family.

I have my friend who is like a brother – his mom was my mom, his Aunt Jean was my Aunt Jean, my mom is his mom, and my dad was his dad.  My brother and sister are his siblings.  His wife is like my sister.  His kids call me Uncle Keith and mine call him Uncle Aric.  It’s a 35-year friendship that goes deep.  Either of us will drop anything if needed.  We have been through all of life’s challenges together. Getting married, having children, losing parents, career changes, parenthood issues, and so much more.

Aric and me back in the day when we were roommates at Penn State. Can you guess our favorite baseball team?

My friend Todd has been in my life for more than 36 years. We went through the death of his mother and two brother, my dad, both of us meeting our future wives and getting married, having and raising children, two of his kids getting married, our professional journey, and much more. We talk all the time and even have our special guys only cruise each year now to hang out without interruptions. He’s my best friend and completely dependable. We make fun of each other, have lots of incriminating stories about each other we laugh about privately, and are each other’s sounding board. I can’t imagine life without him as a key part of it. How lucky am I?

Todd and I on our guys cruise. His brother Eddie joined us on this one.

My dear friend Ron has been a sounding board and confidante for 30 years.  I was there when his wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I spoke to her just before she died.  When he had major surgery, I spent the day at the hospital with his family to support them and him.  He has been there for me in some of the most challenging times of my life and has been a rock when I need a calm head to process things.  A number of months ago he had a stroke.  While he is recovering, he still has aphasia so it’s very difficult to talk, a drastic change in our relationship.  We text daily and when I call and hear his voice, it brings a big smile to my face.  We have already proven to each other there is nothing we won’t do to help each other and I treasure that friendship. Our morning texts are always the best way to start the day.

With my friend Ron. We’ve been through it all together.

My friend Harriet and I zoom or talk every week for the past 4 ½ years.  We started as part of a formal process in a program we were a part of.  We enjoyed each other’s company and insights so much we never stopped.  I know she is always just a call away for support and guidance and she knows I am there for her.  It’s amazing to have this type of friend, somebody to share personal and professional challenges, excitements, opportunities, happy times, sad times, and challenging times.  Sometimes, when things get a bit too crazy, we cut it short to 15 or 30 minutes, just to hear each other’s voice and do a quick check in.  It’s a friendship I treasure and the bonus is I got to discover her author husband and his amazing books!!

My friend Harriet and her husband Howie. Check out his books, especially the Jonah Geller series!

What do all of these people have in common?  When the chips were down for either of us, they were there for me, and I was there for them.  It didn’t matter what else was going on, our relationship and friendship came first.   The friendships have been through tough life experiences and proved themselves.  They have stood the test and survived and thrived.

The last 18 months have highlighted friendships, both real and imagined.  I have seen who my friends really are by their actions.  And I have learned who I thought were friends but really aren’t.  Those who didn’t show up in a time of need.  Those where the relationship did not stand the test and have not survived.  These are often sad to realize and can hurt my heart.  People who I thought I was close with.  People where we shared and provided support in the good times, absent when I faced the challenging ones. 

I have learned that life is too short to be caught up and invest time in people, careers, organizations, and other things that don’t provide value.  I’ll never forget the first time I learned this with who I thought was a friend.  I was sitting on the front porch of a camp bunk while somebody I thought was a good friend started talking bad about me.  I was stunned to hear a ‘friend’ talking behind my back this way.  It showed me that we really weren’t friends, and I chose not to invest any more time in that relationship.  It was incredibly painful but also incredibly impactful. 

Most of the time I feel like a kid.  It’s hard to reconcile thinking and feeling like I am in my 20s and really being in my mid 50s.  The realization that more of my life is behind me than ahead of me was a stark one and truly life changing.  It was also incredibly freeing as it meant that I could release the societal expectations of work, career, status, title and look at what I really value.  Family, friends, mental and physical health.  As I sit in the airport, traveling to Chicago for a family Bat Mitzvah that I might have missed in the past, I am so grateful to my friends who have showed up and been there over the last 18 months.  And I’m even grateful for the people who I thought were friends and have learned really aren’t, because they haven’t showed up.  They have given me a gift as well. 

It makes me think of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs that we used to sing when I was in BBYO, You’ve got a Friend by James Taylor.

When you’re down and troubled
And you need some lovin’ care
And nothin’, nothin’ is goin’ right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I’ll come runnin’
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
You’ve got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you’ll hear me knockin’ at your door

You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I’ll come runnin’, runnin’, yeah, yeah
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yes, I will

Now, ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend
When people can be so cold?
They’ll hurt you, yes, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don’t you let them

You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I’ll come runnin’, runnin’, yeah, yeah
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yes, I will


You’ve got a friend
You’ve got a friend

Ain’t it good to know you’ve got a friend
Ain’t it good to know, ain’t it good to know
Ain’t it good to know
You’ve got a friend


Oh, yeah, now, you’ve got a friend
Yeah baby, you’ve got a friend
Oh, yeah, you’ve got a friend

That’s the best definition of friendship I have ever found.  Whatever the need, whatever is going on, you are always there for each other.  I’ve written a lot about morals, ethics, and values.  Friendship is all about this.  It’s all about understanding what is important and what isn’t.  My family and friends come first.  Always.  I can get another job, find a way to make money, get a different car or house.  People are indispensable.  As the song I wrote about previously said so beautifully, “You can’t get new, old friends”. 

I know who my real friends are.  Some surprised me in how they stepped up.  Some surprised me in how they didn’t.  At the end of the day, all we really have is people and time.  I have chosen to value them over everything else.  In a world dominated by money, power, prestige, titles, and divisiveness, the lesson I have learned is that it is ok to reject those as important principles and put people first.  To live an ethical life is worth more than any amount of money.  As I was talking to Harriet today on our weekly call, she commented at how nice it was that I could go to this family Bat Mitzvah and do all the things I have been doing recently.  And she was right.  The change in attitude and in understanding what is important has given me the gift of freedom that I didn’t even know I was missing. 

Friends do that for you.  Friends are the lifeblood we all need.  Real friends.  True friends.  Ones that don’t just talk the talk, but those who walk the walk.  2024 is a year all about investing in the people who show they are friends through their actions.  I’m so appreciative of those who have shown me they are my real friends and just as appreciative of those who have shown me that they are not.  Life is whole lot better when you have the right people in it. 

I’m grateful for all the right people I have in my life.  You know who you are.

What is the definition of a friend? How do you know who your real friends are? Today’s blog talks about that.

As a Jew, I don’t feel safe in the United States

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

America has always been a beacon of hope.  A melting pot or a salad bowl, depending on which analogy fits you best.  As a Jew in America, I always felt different but also felt safe.  We are a country who follows the rule of law.  We strive to do better and to treat people better.  While America has a troubling history with slavery and the incarceration of Japanese during World War 2, I always felt we tried to recognize our errors and do better.  While racism is real, I also saw strong efforts to combat and eliminate it.  Marriage equality was a big step towards recognizing people are people.

After October 7th, I realized I was living in a bubble, in a dreamworld that doesn’t exist.  I understand my African American friend and my LGBTQ+ friends much better.  The America I thought existed doesn’t.  Hate is encouraged and allowed.  Far too many people, especially ones who call themselves leaders, are more interested in being re-elected than in doing what is right.  I am embarrassed by my naivety when it comes to the struggles of other minorities as my worldview was simply wrong.

I was impacted this weekend with the story of a horrific murder of a Jew in San Diego and the attempted murder of a Jew in Switzerland.  Their offense?  Being Jewish. 

Jewish dentist Dr. Benjamin Harouni was killed and two other people were wounded in a shooting at a dental office in El Cajon, California on Thursday.  The killer was Mohammed Abdul Kareem.  Immediately it was decried that it had nothing to do with Dr Harouni being Jewish or Mohammed Abdul Kareem being Muslim.  Violent attacks on Jews are typically immediately denied being because they are Jews.  Unlike similar attacks against other minorities, attacks on Jews are excused and minimized.  How can be expected to feel safe in America when this type of violence occurs against Jews and is immediately minimized?

On Saturday night, as Shabbat ended, a 62-year-old Orthodox Jew was stabbed outside the Agudas Achim synagogue in Zurich, Switzerland, by a 15-year-old Swiss citizen who shouted ‘death to Jews’.  The man was critically injured.  The rise in Jew hatred is astounding and the lack of response by leaders around the world is frightening.  How are Jews expected to feel safe in this type of environment?

On Saturday, in Times Square, an Uber driver found a grenade in the back seat of his car.  The bomb squad was called to make sure it didn’t go off.  There was a large Israel protest mob there and they wouldn’t let the bomb squad through.  Their hatred of Israel and Jews was so great that they would rather have a grenade go off in Times Square, around them, and have loss of life, than allow the police and the bomb squad through. 

The Uber with a grenade it – anti-Israel and anti-Jewish protesters wouldn’t let the bomb squad get there

As I began to spend a little more time reading about both of these incidents, I noticed a trend occurring.  More and more stories of Jew hatred have been occurring.  And the response to them is absurdly inadequate and being allowed by leaders of organizations, schools, City, State, and the Federal government.

For example, Origins High School in Brooklyn has become a haven for Hitler-loving hooligans who terrorize Jewish teachers and classmates.  On Oct. 26, just three weeks after the Oct. 7 Hamas massacre of 1,200 Israelis, 40 to 50 teens marched through Origins HS in Sheepshead Bay waving a Palestinian flag and chanting “Death to Israel!” and “Kill the Jews!” That is horrific by itself, yet school, city, and state leadership failed to but a stop to it. 

Origins High School Global History teacher Danielle Kaminsky has publicly stated how afraid she is to go to work due to being targeted as a Jew by students, yet the school has done nothing.  How do we know for sure?  Here are few examples of other things that have happened at the school:

  • A student painted a mustache on his face to look like Hitler and banged on classroom doors. When someone opened, he clicked his heels and raised his arm in the Nazi gesture, security footage shows.
  • Three swastikas in one week were drawn on teachers’ walls and other objects.
  • A 10th-grader told Kaminsky, 33, who is Jewish, “I wish you were killed.”
  • Another student called her “a dirty Jew” and said he wished Hitler could have “hit more Jews,” including her.
  • Students pasted drawings of the Palestinian flag and notes saying “Free Palestine” on Kaminsky’s classroom door. One scribbled note that said simply, “Die.”
  • A Jewish sophomore found three swastikas scribbled on his laptop charger when he returned from the restroom.
The door of Danielle Kaminsky’s classroom

The school, the City Government, and the State Government are failing to do anything about this.  No suspensions.  No expulsions.  No disciplinary action.  No protection for Jewish students or teachers. 

At Berkeley, a pro-Palestinian mob surrounded a campus auditorium, broke a window, and harassed Jewish students trying to enter the building.  Israeli lawyer Ran Bar-Yoshafat was invited by a Jewish student group to address the subject of Israel and international law. This included “the rules of wartime conduct and how the [Israel Defense Forces] can better protect civilians.”  An estimated 200 protesters chanted “intifada” and “free Palestine” and banged on windows.  Three Jewish students were injured.  What has happened to freedom of speech on college campuses?  Is it only freedom of speech if you aren’t Jewish?  Doesn’t the University have an obligation to protect the students and speakers who are exercising their right to free speech and sharing information that an educational institution is supposed to value for debate and deep thinking?

It gets worse, however.  The leaders of Bears for Israel, the pro-Israel group that organized the event, had been seeking a meeting with Berkeley’s chancellor since October 2023. Nearly 5 months and the chancellor hasn’t made the time for Jewish students with concerns about Jew hatred, antisemitism, and the safety of Jews.  They reached out again last week but have not heard back. They have been told the chancellor would “absolutely” consider a meeting with them but declined to say more.  Think about that.  Absolutely consider.  Not that the chancellor would meet with them, but that the chancellor would CONSIDER a meeting.  It’s clear that the safety and security of Jewish students don’t matter at Berkeley.

A few weeks ago, on February 19, the Jewish studies director at California State University at Long Beach, Jeffrey Blutinger, was invited to San José State to give a talk on “how to achieve peace between Israel and Palestine.” Pro-Palestinian protesters showed up outside the classroom. A San José State history professor and supporter of Israel, Jonathan Roth, got into an altercation with some of them, grabbing a person’s hand after they tried to block him from recording with his phone. Blutinger was escorted out of the classroom by police.  Once again, freedom of speech doesn’t apply to Jews.  Ensuring there is an opportunity to listen and learn on a college campus used to be sacrosanct. In today’s world that happens for everybody but the Jews.

If that wasn’t enough, the next weekend, signs were found on the walls of UCSB’s multicultural center attacking the student-body president, Tessa Veksler, who is Jewish. The signs said, among other things: “You can run but you can’t hide Tessa Veksler,” “Tessa Veksler supports genocide! You cannot hide,” and “Zionists are not welcomed!”  The signs were removed, and the multicultural center is temporarily closed.  The students who did this will not be held accountable and Veksler has to live in fear of being targeted at her university because she is Jewish.

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) has filed a federal complaint against the Berkeley Unified School District, alleging officials ignored the bullying and harassment of their Jewish students. The harassment has led some families to decide to move out of the district.  One parent publicly stated:

“What drove me to leave the district was a pervasive bullying, as well as an antisemitism and the inability of the district to educate my child while keeping her safe.” 

Jewish children are not being kept safe in public schools in America.  I think about the stories my Uncle Ralph talks about being in elementary school in Berlin in the late 1930s and I don’t see much of a difference between what is happening in the world today and what happened to him as a child.  It’s frightening. 

In Canada, it might even be worse.  The Canadian International Women’s Day (INSPIRE) cancelled its keynote speaker because she had previously served in the IDF more than 30 years ago!   INSPIRE had rescinded its speaking invitation to Leah Goldstein, a Jewish motivational speaker and the first woman to win a grueling 3,000- mile bicycle race across the United States, citing as the reason “a small but growing and extremely vocal group” that took issue with Goldstein’s IDF service more than 30 years ago.

It gets worse.  I am not old enough to have seen the ‘No dogs, no blacks, no Jews’ signs on stores and restaurants.  Yet in 2024 here is a sign in Toronto saying, “No service for Jews.”

Sign from the days of Jim Crow
Sign in Toronto March 2024 – not that different

The college campuses aren’t just antisemitic in the US.  At Toronto’s Ontario College of Art & Design University (OCAD) a Jewish student said she feels unsafe returning to class after antisemitic messages, including death threats, were scribbled on the walls of her school.

She stated, “I had never felt so sad in my life.  They were all like horrible things about me, horrible things about Jews.”  She is the former president of the university’s Jewish Club and reported that the messages were found in the school’s so-called “yellow staircase” – a six-story space where students are encouraged to express themselves freely on the blank wall space.

She tried to combat the hate with painted words of peace, but those, too, were covered up by messages like “F U Zionists.” 

“I started getting death threats. There was even sexual connotations relating to my mother and Hamas.”

And in shocking news, she has not received an adequate response from the school following the incident and has missed more than two weeks’ worth of class due to concerns about her safety.

“There were talks about a meeting three weeks ago and they still haven’t followed up about that.  It took them forever. It took them days to shut down and paint over the stairwell.”

I wish this was everything but unfortunately, it’s not.  Before winter break in a public school in Toronto, there was antisemitic graffiti drawn on the walls.

The graffiti included an X drawn through a sketch of an Israeli flag and the Star of David, the words “Free Palestine,” “get rid of the k-kes” and “Hitler was right,” plus a sketch of a Palestinian flag and a sloppily drawn swastika. There was also the hashtag “KillTheJews.”

Antisemitic and Jew hatred graffiti in a Toronto school.

The school didn’t even inform parents for more than a month.  Nothing was done to address the hateful graffiti or ensure the safety of Jewish students. 

Let’s not leave out our federal government.  The Houthi’s are still not designated as a terrorist organization.  Iran continues to fund Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Houthis and has instructed Hezbollah to increase attacks on Israel and they will send rockets and money to them to do it.  We continue to think we can use diplomacy with Iran.  Congress can’t pass the financial aid package for Israel to defend herself.  Just the other day, Vice President Kamala Harris called for Israel and Hamas to accept immediate six-week cease-fire, stating that the ‘Deal is on the table’.  The challenge is that Israel has been ready and its Hamas that refuses.  Yet there is no criticism of Hamas.  Reports have come out that Sinwar wants to incite violence during Ramadan and won’t accept a ceasefire because of that.  Yet no outrage from our government about this.  No outrage at the Red Cross for failing to see the hostages and deliver medication.  The hostages have now gone 150 days without ANY medication.  As a son with Type 1 diabetes, I know that if he didn’t get insulin for 150 days, he wouldn’t survive.  Where is the outrage? 

I never thought I wouldn’t feel safe as a Jew in the United States.  Yet here in 2024, I do.  I refuse to let fear dominate my life.  I wear my new, special Magen David (star of David) proudly outside my shirt.  I have two dog tags I wear, one ‘Bring them home now’ and the other ‘We will dance again’.  I put a piece of tape on my shirt, over my heart, with the number of days the hostages have been in captivity.  I won’t hide but I don’t feel safe. 

A friend of mine in Israel recently asked how many of his friends have changed their last name on their Uber account due to fears of safety.  It was a sad question, and the answers were sadder.  My younger son still wears his Chai necklace but no longer wears it outside his shirt when he is on campus.  My family is concerned when I wear my Israel sweatshirt, t-shirt, or soccer jersey.  I want to fly an Israeli flag but don’t due to safety concerns for my family.  This is the world we live in today and this is the America we live in today.  Jew hatred is not just on the rise, it is here.  In June 2016, I wrote an op-Ed in the Seattle Times about the rise of antisemitism and there was real pushback by many that it wasn’t really happening.  I wish that they were right.  What was happening nearly 8 years ago has only gotten worse. 

We’ve seen the hate groups locally, most recently in Winter Park just 2 weeks ago.  We see it happening nationally and internationally.  We see it with the anti-Israel and Jew hating mobs.  It’s why I chose to write this blog today.  And as I was finishing writing it, my wife sent me this article from The Atlantic about how The Golden Age of American Jews is ending.  Some of what I have written about is included.  There is much more involved and it’s a long read but well worth it. 

We live in scary times.  Unlike the 1930s in Germany, we now have Israel and Jews aren’t afraid to stand up and speak out.  I know many Jews who have gotten their conceal carry permits and who now are gun owners and practice at the range.  I have to admit that I am one of them.  America today isn’t safe for Jews.  We are being attacked everywhere we go.  Public schools, Universities, Synagogues, restaurants, and in the streets. 

For those of you who have previously stood up against hatred against other groups, thank you.  Hate is not acceptable PERIOD.  I ask you now to stand up against Jew hatred.  You can dislike the Israeli Government and Bibi Netanyahu.  You can want the war to end and no more innocent civilians on both sides to be killed.  That happens when the hostages are released and Hamas surrenders.  Put the pressure on Hamas to release the hostages.  Put the pressure on Hamas to surrender.  If you pay attention, you will see that the people of Gaza, particularly in the north where Hamas is no longer in control, and publicly condemning Hamas for creating all the problems they face. 

Everybody in the United States is supposed to feel safe.  It’s clear from the past few years that there are many groups who do not feel safe.  I don’t know that I truly understood what they faced until now.  I stand with them and their right to live in safety and security.  I hope they, and you, will stand with me and the Jewish community as we only want the same thing.

I’m going to finish with an ask. JOIN Orlando, a group I am involved with and get much value from and have much gratitude for, is doing a 36 hour fundraiser where all gifts are matched 3X. So your gift of $100 is really $300 to JOIN. I agreed to be a champion and help raise money for their programs. I personally have been to Israel with JOIN, I learn with a Rabbi from JOIN, I am friends with leaders of JOIN. During these challenging times that I just wrote about, JOIN helps keep me grounded. So if you would consider making a gift, not only does it get matched 3X, it would be a personally meaningful thing to me. Click on the link to donate. And you can watch the video below to see the work that JOIN Orlando does. Thank you for considering making a gift.

Enjoy the video from JOIN ORLANDO

The journey of life on that ‘Red Dirt Road’

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

This week I had a number of songs that I was considering writing about.  One of the great things about music, and art in general, is that when you begin paying attention to it, there is inspiration all around.  I finally settled on a 2003 song by Brooks and Dunn called Red Dirt Road.  It’s a song about growing up in a small town, the lessons you learn in places that get burned into your mind and memory, and the dreams of youth compared to the realities of adulthood.  It seems like something worth digging into.

The song begins:

I was raised off of rural route three, out past where the blacktop ends.
We’d walk to church on Sunday morning and race barefoot back to Johnson’s fence.

That’s where I first saw Mary, on that roadside pickin’ blackberries.
That summer I turned the corner in my soul down that red dirt road.

We all grew up in different places, many of them with more similarities than differences.  Growing up in the 70s and 80s meant that we spent a lot of time outside, riding bikes to friends’ houses, playing in the streets, at the creek, in the woods – whatever we could discover.  It didn’t matter where you were raised, there was always a place where the blacktop ended, where there were fences to jump, fields to play in, dirt to roll around in, mud to get all over you.  And as we played outside, there was usually a spark with somebody that got you interested in being more than just friends.  That initial spark, as they sing about, turned a corner in our soul as we went from children to young adults.  And that first spark, that first love, that first interest in somebody else, likely impacted the rest of our lives as we searched for that partner to spend our lives with.

There are many of these type of moments in our lives in which that first spark is created that drives an interest we keep for the rest of our lives.  I still remember my first NY Yankees game at the Stadium in 1976.  It was electric.  There was excitement in the air.  It felt special and when the Yankees won in the bottom of the 9th I was completely hooked on baseball, the Yankees, and Yankee Stadium.  Nearly 50 years later that hasn’t changed.  I still love going to baseball games and taking my family.  My kids are big baseball fans because of the spark that I had in 1976 and the desire for them to find that same spark as they grew up. 

Yankee Stadium in 1976
Yankee stadium with Evan – I took both kids on their own trips
Yankee Stadium with Matthew on his trip. My brother Lawrence and niece Hannah joined us for one game

While neither are Yankee fans now, I had my moments when they were little

I remember the spark that turned into a career.  That first fundraising gift that I closed.  The excitement of what it was going to enable to happen.  How that would change the lives of other people.  25 years later, I still get that rush when I have the opportunity to raise money to do something that will change lives.  What it feels like to do something that changes lives.  Hearing from people the impact had on them many years later.  All coming from a spark.  Yesterday I spoke with a friend that I met nearly 25 years ago.  I have loved following his journey and am proud to have a played a small role in his life.  It was amazing to hear how much we have in common today, how that spark that was created 25 years ago has continued to grow and how we are both impacting people in different ways. 

So while Brooks and Dunn are singing about a romantic spark, they are really talking about so much more.  It’s the spark of spirts connecting beyond romance.  It’s the connections that occur when you have that organic experience.  Mary was picking blackberries.  I can think of so many other people in my life where that spark happened in other random places. 

Her daddy didn’t like me much in my shackled-up GTO
I’d sneak out in the middle of the night throw rocks at her bedroom window.
We’d turn out the headlights and drive by the moonlight
Talk about what the future might hold, down that red dirt road.

It’s never about what other people think.  Daddy didn’t like him, but it didn’t matter and didn’t stop him.  Once there is that spark and that connection, nothing stops it.  As I look at the various people in my life where that spark of connection built a lifelong relationship, it never mattered what other people thought.  It doesn’t matter about the outward differences because of that soul connection.  If I wanted to focus on the differences, I’d see people of various ages, genders, economic status, political party affiliation, religions, races, and so much more.  I have never let any of those differences interfere with that connection.

When I think of my best friends, the people who I talk with regularly, the men who I call brother, the women I call sister, it’s amazing to see the internal connection yet the external difference.  It shows that what other people think doesn’t matter.  One is an Orthodox Jew, another is Christian, yet another is almost 20 years older than me and African American and Christian, another is a gay man.  My friends are just as diverse.  Some have significant incomes, and some don’t.  Some are older, some are my age, and some are younger.  They are Jews, Muslims, Christians, Bhai, and atheist. They are my friends because of who they are on the inside, not because of who they are on the outside. The world today may tell me that we are very different, but we are not – we are connected through the soul and those differences don’t matter. 

If I were to listen to what is being said in the world today, they wouldn’t be my friends.  Just like the ‘daddy’ in the song who didn’t like him, I wouldn’t be allowed to like my friends.  I’d have to sneak around to be friends with them.  So, while the world wants us to focus on the differences, I choose to focus on the similarities.  I choose to focus on the connections I have with my friends.  I’d rather talk about the future and how our experiences can help each other get through life.  I’d rather live in a world where people are judged by who they are and how they act rather than some generic stereotype based on their religion, skin color, ethnicity, or sexual identity.  It’s a much better way to live.

It’s where I drank my first beer
It’s where I found Jesus
Where I wrecked my first car
I tore it all to pieces.

Those special places from our childhood have special meaning to us.  So much of our lives happened in those small towns, random places, with childhood friends.  There is that place we gathered to drink.  The special place to go with a date.  One of my friend’s fathers lived in an apartment and his fiancé had her own apartment.  His dad stayed at his fiancé’s apartment so that apartment became our special party place.  Nearly 40 years later we still talk about the apartment, the parties we had there, and the stories of what happened there.  The JCC in Harrisburg, PA which was a place my Jewish and non-Jewish friends would spend time.  City Island for concerts, the Susquehanna River for sailing.  There are so many special places, our red dirt roads, that will always have special meaning to me and to my childhood friends. 

These places continue throughout our lives.  There are those locations where meaningful things happened, where relationships were formed and cemented.  I moved to Gainesville in 1992 and as I made friends, those places developed.  Skeeter’s and their giant biscuits.  Our weekly group of 20 that would go to Perkins.  The weekend breakfast at 43rd Street Deli. Bill (z’l) and Rick’s (z’l) house on Monday nights for Chinese food and Northern Exposure.  So many places that are tied to powerful memories of friendship.  So many red dirt roads.


I learned the path to Heaven
Is full of sinners and believers
Learned that happiness on Earth
Ain’t just for high achievers (I learned)
I’ve come to know there’s life at both ends
Of that red dirt road.

It’s the time we spend on our own red dirt roads that teach us so much.  We build those friendships that last a lifetime.  These lessons teach us that people are people.  Throughout our life, we make mistakes and that we behave ethically.  Nobody is perfect.  The ‘path to heaven’ isn’t just for believers and doesn’t exclude sinners.  We have the ability to change and do better.  We all make mistakes.  The key question is if we learn from our mistakes.  Do we strive to improve?  Are we willing to accept the limitations and challenges put upon us or are we going to put for the effort to do better than where we began? 

The next line talks about happiness is for everybody.  It’s not just the best of the best.  We all have the right to be happy and can be happy.  The key is measuring ourselves against ourselves.  If I base my definition of success against the financial success of Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, or Jeff Bezos, I will always fall short.  I will never measure up, never be ‘successful’.  It’s fool’s gold.  But if instead, I look to measure myself against my needs, it’s a different story.  I have a place to live, and I like it.  I have a job, food, a vehicle, clothes, and the ability to do things I enjoy.  Happiness is entirely defined by the expectations I put upon myself.  I don’t have to live in the most expensive home, drive the most expensive car, have multiple vacation homes, etc. to be happy.  Happiness isn’t just for the ‘high achievers.’ 

Over the years, I have spent a lot of time talking with my ‘spiritual advisor’, Mickey Singer, about happiness.  How it’s truly self-defined.  How we choose to limit ourselves in our happiness because expectations.  Brooks and Dunn are telling us clearly that to be happy is actually easy.  It’s the difference between having what you want and wanting what you have.  As long as our basic needs of food, shelter, and clothing are met, the rest is merely a matter of perspective.

Mickey’s teachings are truly inspiring
Mickey taught me that happiness is a choice. I choice to be happy.

The last line of the verse is one of my favorites.  I’ve come to know there’s life at both ends of that red dirt road. It doesn’t matter where we have come from or where we are today.  Life exists in all places.  One isn’t better than the other.  They are different points on the journey we call life.  We may look back at the time on that red dirt road and remember ‘the good old days’, but they rarely were as good as we remember, and the times today are usually just as good if not better.  They are just different.  I think back to childhood and my red dirt roads, and they are great memories.  Far better than the actual time was. We embellish, we remember differently now than what it was then.  There are pieces we long for.  It sounds so great now to think back to when I lived in my parents’ house, and everything was taken care of for me.  I didn’t have any real bills to pay.  The stress level, in hindsight, seems like it was so much lower than as an adult with life responsibilities.  I also know that if I could go back and talk to the me of that time, that me would tell this me that the stresses I faced were real and could be overwhelming.  Pressure of college acceptance, high school cliques, living under my parents’ rules.  And that me would tell this me how lucky I am that I have my own home, set my own rules, get to pick the career I want and spend my money the way I want.  It’s all relative.

The important message for me in this section of the song is to enjoy the moment.  Each moment in our live is a unique opportunity to experience life.  When that moment is gone, so is the opportunity to experience and learn from it.  Both sides of the red dirt road are valuable and important.  One isn’t better than the other.  Life is a journey until it is over, why would we want to miss out on any of it and the opportunities that each step in that journey provide.  It’s not about being a sinner or a believer.  It’s not about the good old days or the challenges of today.  It’s about the journey of life that we get to experience and enjoy, if we choose, until it ends.

Mickey taught me this and it’s something I live by. When I read it, I can hear his voice telling it to me

I went out into the world, and I came back in
I lost Mary, oh, I got her back again
And driving home tonight, feels like I found a long-lost friend.

The song’s last verse has a haunting piece to it.  We leave our hometown.  We leave our childhood friends, lovers, families, and red dirt roads to go out into the world and experience it.  Whether it is college, the military, jobs – it’s the next step in our life journey and we leave things behind.  At some point we have the opportunity to reengage with our original red dirt roads, with our childhood friends.  It’s rarely what we thought it would be like.  Those childhood crushes that we thought and hoped would turn into something more, never did.  Our lives and theirs took different paths. Some of those childhood friends have passed away young.  Others have had serious life challenges.  Yet others have been wildly successful.  We lost the dream of the future when we were children, but we didn’t lose the people in the dreams.  It’s just different.

Bruce Springsteen’s ‘My Hometown’ captures this essence as well.

I think of my own life and some of the relationships I had with those childhood friends.  Some I thought might be forever romantic partners and they aren’t.  Some I thought would be best friends and we would be connected forever, and we aren’t.  Others have become better friends over the years or at a later time, when we reconnected, ended up being closer than we ever would have imagined. 

In the song, he lost Mary as a lover and future partner.  His life, and hers, went on different paths than they ever imagined.  Yet the opportunity to reconnect was there and they did.  It wasn’t what they thought it would be on the original red dirt road, however it’s still special. It’s still important and meaningful.

I am grateful that I still have some type of relationship with so many of the people from my red dirt roads.  They are all very different.  Some are more casual and connected mainly online.  Others we text and talk.  Still others we make time to see each other as often as possible.  The quality of the relationships is high, no matter what it was like as children or how often we get to see each other.  The time on our red dirt road bonded us in a way that can never be broken. 

At the end of the day, I think that’s what inspires me most about this song.  It’s truly about experiencing the journey of life and realizing that the connections we make with other people can last a lifetime.  But it takes effort.  If he hadn’t reached out to Mary and reconnected with her, it would have been a relationship that was inactive.  If we want the beauty of the journey of life, it takes ongoing effort, knowing that the work we put into relationships in the past isn’t wasted and isn’t gone, it just needs to be rekindled.  When I listed to Red Dirt Road, I find myself filled with gratitude for the experiences and relationships I had as a child and the opportunities to continue those relationships as an adult. 

To truly experience the journey of life, it takes effort.  And it’s effort that is always rewarded.

My dad (z’l) would be 80 today and celebrate his 20th birthday. Huh???

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Today is my dad’s (z’l) 80th birthday.  Yes, that means he was a February 29th, leap year baby. 

My favorite story about his birthday came from his mother, my Grandma Esther.  When she took him to enroll in public school, they asked when she chose to celebrate his birthday.   She asked why it would matter, as his birthday is his birthday.  They told her that if they celebrated his birthday on February 28th, then he could enroll this year.  But since that was the cutoff date, if they celebrated it March 1, he had to wait another year to enroll.  You guessed it, she told them they celebrated on February 28th!! 

My dad believed this 100%

My dad’s real birthdays were always a special celebration in part because they only came once every four years.  I remember counting down until I had more birthdays than him (it was when I had my 8th birthday and he had to wait almost 2 full months for his actual 8th birthday!   My brother and sister did it as well as did my kids.  My son Matthew turned 20 two weeks after my dad died, having celebrated 19 real birthdays.  We talked a lot about how he just missed celebrating his 20th before my dad did.  Thinking about it now still brings tears to my eyes as it did when we lovingly talked about it.

As we prepare to celebrate his 80th birthday, and we will celebrate it, I find myself missing him a great deal, especially at this time in my life, and thinking of the lessons he taught me and how important they are and how core they are to who I am as a person.  I want to share a few with you.

  1. Family is Everything. 

My dad (and my mom) not only preached this but lived it on a daily basis.  Nothing came before family.  For family simchas (celebrations), my parents were always there.  Growing up, the entire family was there.  With my cousin’s daughter’s Bat Mitzvah coming up, there is no question we’ll be there, just as we were for my other cousin’s son’s Bar Mitzvah last year.  Family is everything and you don’t sacrifice family or family time for anything.  You do whatever you can and whatever is needed for family. 

Family is also not defined by blood.  I have ‘Aunts and Uncles’ who are not related by blood.  I have ‘brothers and sisters’ who are not related by blood.  I have cousins who are more like siblings.   My in-laws are second parents and my wife’s family is truly my family.  I joke with people about my family because it’s gotten so big because so many people are part of it that aren’t blood related.

When it comes to family, we were taught that you do whatever is needed to help.  Period.  No, ‘if’s, ands or buts’ as my mom would often say.  I’m grateful to my dad and my mom for instilling this in us as children.  It’s not only how I live my life, but also what I teach my children, and Family First has been a core philosophy during the 25 years I ran nonprofit organizations.

All together for my parents 50th wedding anniversary
  • Be ethical – behave as if your mother will see everything you do on the front page of the New York Times.  

My dad preached this all the time.  When making decisions and making choices, always imagine that your actions or inactions will be on the front page of the NY Times and your mother, and her friends will see it.  Is that what I really want my mom to see and read?  Is that what I want her friends to be asking her about? 

My dad always wanted us to think through our decisions. I can’t count how many times we sat and talked about different situations and went through all the possible outcomes. We’d discuss how we would handle it if this specific thing happened. What if it was something different? How would we handle that? What type of person do you want to be? How do you want people to view you? What values matter to you and how do you consistently act on them.

My long time friends have some great stories about me when I didn’t act that way. When I wouldn’t want my behavior and actions to have been on the front page of the NY Times. Most of those happened in high school and college, which isn’t surprising. That’s when we are testing boundaries, learning limits, and still believe that we are infallible. I use those stories to show my mistakes to my kids. To teach them from the things I didn’t do well how they can do better. They aren’t things I am proud of but they are the things that 13-22 year olds do. We often laugh at them now because they are certainly ridiculous and absurd. And they are the type of things I would never do now.

With my friend (who is a brother) Aric and his future wife Carol Ann. You can tell from this picture we were up to no good. He has a wealth of stories that thankfully he doesn’t tell.

My dad began instilling this in us as young children because I think he knew that it would take time for it to really set into our soul. That we wouldn’t understand as kids but by consistenly reinforcing it and teaching us, we would learn it before we made any catestrophic mistakes. His foresight is greatly appreciated and something I have copied with my children.

Thanks Dad, for making me question my actions and strive to always be ethical in my actions. I’m a better person, husband, father, friend, and colleague because of the time and effort you invested to teach me the importance of living an ethical life.

  • Be Kind

In recent times, there has been a focus on the need to be kind.  In many ways this is due to the fact that so many people are not kind.  They behave in ways that are atrocious, unethical, and shameful.  The way they treat others is completely unacceptable.  My dad taught us to be kind.  He taught us that how you treat people says something about you and your character.  It doesn’t mean you have to like or respect people, but it is important to treat them with dignity.  It’s important to be kind. 

This doesn’t mean I need to be a doormat.  It means that until or unless somebody shows you that they don’t deserve kindness and respect, you give it to them.  And even when they show you that, it’s important to behave in an ethical manner.  My dad taught me that it is important to remember that at the end of the day, I have to live with myself and my decisions.  This means standing up for what is right, what I believe in, and what are my core values.  Although at times it takes work and a lot of effort, I can do this in a kind manner. 

After my dad died, one of the things that was said about him the most was that he was a kind man. He had a heart of gold and never wanted to hurt anybody, only to help people. It’s one of the characteristics and personality traits of his that I strive to emulate.

  • Get Involved – make a difference.

My grandparents taught this to my parents who taught it to me and my siblings.  Don’t stand on the sidelines.  It is important to get involved and work to improve the world in whatever way you can.  That was my dad as my cub scout troop leader when nobody else would do it.  It was me coaching my kids’ sports teams.  It is getting involved with Jewish life in one way or another.  Working to connect with legislators who make the laws that we live with.  Volunteering with organizations that do work that matters to you.

My dad taught me that life is a contact sport.  Sitting on the sidelines isn’t what life is about.  I got involved with a youth group in high school.  Fraternity in college.  Volunteering throughout my life.  Working in the nonprofit world for the past 25+ years.  Building relationships with people and always being willing to help them.

I was on the phone yesterday with a friend of a friend who connected us about some work-related topics.  As we were talking, she asked if I could help with something totally unrelated to the conversation.  My answer was 100% yes.  Because that’s what I was taught to do.  I was talking to another friend yesterday who thanked me for doing something to help them.  I told them they didn’t need to say thank you, that’s what friends do for each other.  Because that’s what I was taught.

My grandparents were volunteering in the synagogue, at the Jewish home for the elderly, raising money for JNF, volunteering and knitting slippers and sweaters for kids in the hospital.  It was always something.  They were involved in their community and their lives were richer as a result.  I’ll never forget the stories of Holocaust Survivors sleeping on the floor at my great-grandmother’s house because they had no place to go and she just took them in until they could get settled.  My parents ‘adopted’ a family from the former Soviet Union when they finally got out and came to the US.  My mom is in touch with them today and they are another part of our family, unrelated by blood. 

My kids often laugh at me when I talk about ‘my friend (insert name)’ because often times they have no idea which one I am talking about because they hear so many names.  I have to clarify which person it is for them because they have grown up understanding that getting involved and helping others is what we do.  It is one way that we can make the world a better place.

Thanks Dad.  Thanks Mom.  By teaching me this value, you’ve made me a better person and allowed me to impact the world in my own way.

My dad loved Nefesh Mountain and brought them to Tampa as a fundraiser to send kids to Jewish summer camp. It was his last major volunteer project.
  • Set goals.  Setting them is more important than achieving them.

This sounds wrong.  Isn’t it about what you achieve?  I struggled with this when my dad would talk to me about this when I was a kid.  Especially in high school when achievement was everything and effort didn’t seem to matter that much.  Once again, he was right, and it just took me a little longer to understand it.

If you don’t set goals, you don’t know where you want to go.  And if you don’t know where you want to go, you can end up anywhere.  I didn’t understand that as kid.  I wanted to go to college, have a career, make money, have a family, buy a house, retire, and enjoy my life.  Those were goals and I knew where I wanted to go.  But I didn’t know how to get there.  It is like the famous Theodore Herzl quote, ‘If you will it, it is no dream.’  Just wanting it isn’t enough.  You have to will it.  You have to work for it.  And if you don’t know the steps to take to get there, you likely won’t get there. 

I set goals all the time.  Goals for the day, the week, the month, the year.  When I am working on a project, I have goals and milestones set to achieve so I can measure my progress.  Financial goals for retirement.  I have an objective for when my house is paid off, places I want to visit, things I want to do.  Without setting the goals, I’d have no way to get to what I want to accomplish.

So yes, achieving the goals is important, but if you don’t set them first, you can’t achieve them.  Once again, Dad you were right, it just took me a while to understand it.

  • People remember who you are, not what you did.

Simon Sinek’s amazing TED Talk, Start with Why, focuses on the fact that people don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.  My dad knew this concept years before Simon’s TED talk, as he taught us this lesson as children.  He was never caught up in what he did, but rather who he was a person.  The number of stories we heard about my dad and the impact he had on people was incredible.  People remembered who he was.  They remembered the time he spent with them.  The way he listened to them.  The way he would always be there for them when they needed him, no matter what.  It was who he was.  The fact that he had a very successful career and made an impact in the pharmaceutical industry through research and getting new drugs through the FDA was nice, but it wasn’t what he thought was important. 

Throughout my career, I have been most proud of the relationships I have built and the people who have been in my life at different stages that still are a part of my life today.  People who used to work for me.  Students from UF Hillel.  Parents of students.  Alumni.  I have these interactions almost every week.  This week alone it happened about 10 times.  That’s not a typo – literally 10 or more just this week.  I treasure those conversations and connections. I even told one of them today that I was writing about this in the blog as we connected about different things, talked about family, and it seemed like we had just been together yesterday.

I enjoy having the opportunity to remain in people’s lives for decades.  To build and maintain friendships.  To be a mentor, advisor, friend, colleague and watch their lives unfold.  To be a part of their group and for them to be a part of mine. 

After my dad died, the stories people told about him were remarkable.  I’d heard the same theme throughout my life however after he died, the number of people who had those stories was truly remarkable.  He was somebody who was there for everybody.  He was known to sit down next to you, pat your thigh and ask, “So what’s going on good?”  And then he listened.   He heard them.  He spent time understanding what they were really talking about and what they were really asking.  And then he provided some suggestions and guidance that they could take or not.  Most of the time they took it and expressed their gratitude.

One of my friends met my dad only once.  He didn’t have a relationship with his own father and was astounded by the relationship I had with my father.  He would always remind me of the interaction with my dad and how much it impacted him.  He would imitate my dad when he told him, “Call me Barry.”   That’s who he was to everybody.  He was the person anybody and everybody could reach out to talk with, to share challenges with who would listen and give you 100% of his attention.  He was a friend and confidante to so many people.  I don’t think any of us realized just how wide and broad his impact in this role was until after he died.

People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.  People remember who you are, not what you did.  Simon Sinek and Barry Dvorchik (z’l).

My dad and his 2 (biological) sons. He had many more who considered him to either be dad or Uncle Barry

February 29th will always be a special day for me.  In many ways I’m glad that it only comes every 4 years, although having celebrated his birthday on February 28th most years means there still is a day that I will miss him even more.  I’m very lucky to have had him as a dad and for the wisdom he imparted that I continue to hear in my head and continue to follow. 

So today, February 29, 2024, do something special for Barry.  Spend some extra time with your family.  Call your kids or your parents or your grandparents just to say you love them.  Talk with your siblings for no reason other than you love them, and if you have a strained relationship with family, make a commitment to work towards repairing it.  He’s up there watching and nothing would make him happier than seeing people investing in their family in his name. And do what he loved to do more than anything…. start dinner by eating dessert first!

I love and miss you dad. Happy heavenly birthday.

One of my favorite pictures with my dad. This was at Evan’s Bar Mitzvah and we were filled with joy.

Happy Birthday Ariel Sharon and Yitzhak Rabin – 2 complex Israeli heroes

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

As most of you know, I am a passionate and unapologetic Zionist.  Being a Zionist simply means that I believe that the Jewish people have a right to their own country and their own self-determination.  No matter what else you may THINK Zionism is or means, that’s what it really does.  The rest is simply propaganda created and spread by those Jew haters who want no Jews to exist and those who aren’t willing to actually learn something about Zionism.

As a result of my love affair with the State of Israel, I got connected with Dr. Ken Stein and the Center for Israel Education (CIE).  Each week, CIE puts out ‘This week in Israeli history’.  Some weeks there are nuggets that I learn about and other weeks there are monumentous events.  This week it’s of the monumentous variety.

On February 27, 1928, Ariel Sharon was born is born in K’far Malal (near Hod Hasharon).  For those of you who know much about Israel, Hod Hasharon is the home of the Alexander Muss High School in Israel.  My cousin Eric attended there in 1984 and I have many friends who have attended as well. This would have been Ariel Sharon’s 96th birthday.

Sharon, like many of that generation, took an Israeli last name, changing his birth name of Scheinerman to Sharon.  A true Zionist and patriot, he joined the Haganah in 1945 and served in the War of Independence.  His reputation, which continued through his life, was having a lack of restraint and being very aggressive.  He served as a paratrooper commander in the 1956 war, a Major General in the Six Day War (1967), and the commander of an armored division in the Yom Kippur War (1973).

Ariel Sharon in 1982 at the Suez Canal after peace with Egypt

Already a hero, Sharon was appointed the Israeli Defense Minister in 1981 by Prime Minister Menachem Begin.  He launched the Operation Peace for the Galilee (1982) and was forced to resign after being found negligent in failing to prevent the massacre of Palestinians in the Sabra and Shatilla refugee camps by the Lebanese Christian Phalange troops.

Sharon was elected head of the Likud party in 1999 and became Israel’s 11th Prime Minister in 2001.  As Prime Minister, he approved construction of the security fence, advocated for settlements in Judea and Samaria (the West Bank) and despite his reputation as a military hawk, oversaw the disengagement from Gaza, hoping it would jump start peace talks with the Palestinians.  In 2006, he suffered a stroke that left him incapacitated and was no longer Prime Minister.  He passed away in January 2014 after spending 8 years in a coma.

Ariel Sharon is a complex figure and a good lesson in the complexities of Israel and the region.  Most of his career, he was considered a far right, war hawk.  He was a military hero whose leadership was critical to the victory in the Six Day War.  His leadership and actions in the 1973 war were essential to Israel turning the tide and capturing the Suez Canal and almost marching to Cairo before America and Secretary of State Henry Kissinger stepped in to stop the war.

His resignation after being found negligent in the Sabra and Shatilla refugee camps by the Christian Phalange troops have many branding him a war criminal.  He certainly did not use good judgment at the time, doing nothing to stop Christian militiamen allied with Israel from entering the camps, despite fears they might seek to avenge the killing of their leader the previous day.  War criminal or not, it was a poor decision that helped define his life, career, and legacy.

In 2000, he went to the Temple Mount and visited the Al Aqsa Mosque.  To many people this would be seen as no big deal.  It’s the historic site of the ancient first and second Jewish temple.  The ‘Rock’ in Dome of the Rock is supposed to be both the rock that Abraham bound Isaac to, prepared to sacrifice him, as well as the rock that Muhammad rose to heaven from.  It’s also a flashpoint for violence as Jewish access is limited and many attribute the 2nd intifada to this visit.  It’s a place I have never been to and hope that one day I will be able to have access.  I remember this visit and wondering why he chose to do it as it was clearly going to incite violence.

Ariel Sharon on Temple Mount – this is considered by many to be what incited the 2nd intifada

In 2005, he made the decision to withdraw all Israelis and Jews from Gaza, returning it to Palestinian control, as an effort to jumpstart peace.  The settlers and many Israelis were very upset that he would take this action as 21 Israeli communities were forcibly removed from Gaza and relocated inside Israel.  His hopes for peace as a result never materialized, his stroke a few months later meant that he never had the opportunity to follow up on his vision.  The Hamas massacre on October 7, 2023, is tied back my many to this action in 2005 which led to the creation of modern Gaza.

The removal of Israelis and Jews from Gaza in 2005 was highly controversial. In the end, it didn’t accomplish the goal of peace and resulted in the Hamas massacre of October 7th

Sharon is an Israeli hero that I have always struggled with.  My grandparents loved him because after the Shoah, he was the face of an Israeli and Jewish warrior.  He kept safeguarding the Jewish people as his top priority and his actions were very public and visible.  From 1957 through 1973, he played key roles in winning wars to ensure Israel’s existence and inspiring Jews in Israel and the diaspora.  When I look back on those years, I see a headstrong officer who I can say thank you to for ensuring Israel exists. 

A young Ariel Sharon with Moshe Dayan, another of the great Israeli leaders.

The Sabra and Shatila massacre cause me great pain and challenges.  While he didn’t actually murder anybody and it wasn’t IDF soldiers under his command who committed the massacre, he had the opportunity to stop it or at least intervene, and he didn’t. From what I know of Ariel Sharon, I believe it to be a tactical choice that he made.  I cannot reconcile the Jewish hero I wrote about with the man who would allow this to happen.  I remember struggling with his being elected Prime Minister because of this.  This struggle was enhanced by that 2000 visit to Temple Mount.  As I’ve said, it’s a place I have always wanted to go and have never been able to visit.  While there have been times when it has been permitted, the access is limited and as meaningful as it would be to pray on the Temple Mount, that is forbidden to Jews.  Most people don’t know of this prohibition.  It is hard to believe that his visit was not intended to incite violence.  At the time the impeding visit was discussed with this being the likely outcome.  Yet he did it anyway.  Just like Sharon in battle, who did what he wanted, and thought was right, he did it with this visit, with the 2nd intifada as the resulting outcome. 

And then there was the withdrawal from Gaza.  I grew up being taught that when we finally got to the point of land for peace or money to release the Jewish people from oppression (like in the USSR), the battle was won.  We would always give up land for peace just as we would pay for the freedom of our people.  21 Jewish communities were relocated.  I hated seeing the families uprooted from their homes and forcibly removed.  I hated seeing their crying and outrage.  Yet I was hopeful that it would be for the greater good and that perhaps, the Palestinians would create a ‘Singapore of the Middle East’ in Gaza, and we might have peace. 

As Israel faces all sorts of calls from countries around the world for a ‘Ceasefire Now’ and the creation of a Palestinian State without conditions.  It’s worth remembering what President George W. Bush said in his August 27, 2005 radio address about the withdrawal from Gaza and the hope for a different future and what was required. 

During the past two weeks, Prime Minister Sharon and the Israeli people took a courageous and painful step by removing Israeli settlements in Gaza and parts of the northern West Bank. I congratulate the Prime Minister for his bold leadership.

Now that Israel has withdrawn, the way forward is clear. The Palestinians must show the world that they will fight terrorism and govern in a peaceful way. We will continue to help the Palestinians to prepare for self-government and to defeat the terrorists who attack Israel and oppose the establishment of a peaceful Palestinian state.

We remain fully committed to defending the security and well-being of our friend and ally Israel. We demand an end to terrorism and violence in every form because we know that progress depends on ending terror. And we will continue working for the day when the map of the Middle East shows two democratic states – Israel and Palestine – living side by side in peace and security.

It is obvious this didn’t happen.  There was no Palestinian fight against terrorism, nor did they govern in a peaceful way.  The demand for an end to terrorism and violence remains a key requirement for peace and security.  The withdrawal from Gaza was an abject failure even before October 7th.  My hopes didn’t come to fruition and while I respect Sharon’s efforts to find peace, it turned out to be yet another failure of his leadership decisions. 

Ultimately, I find myself viewing Sharon as a Lion of Israel, one of the key people who ensured the survival of the Jewish state, but also one who struggled with political leadership.  He isn’t a role model, there is far too much that is troublesome, but he is an icon in the history of the modern State of Israel and one worth studying and discussing to learn from.

Remember that in the start of this post, I used the work momentous.  The birth of Ariel Sharon in a week is significant but not momentous.  On March 1, 1922, Yitzhak Rabin was born.  They celebrated their birthdays just a few days apart.  Two amazing leaders of the Modern State of Israel and the Jewish people. This would have been Rabin’s 102nd birthday!

When I read about Rabin, I’m always shocked that he was Israel’s 5th Prime Minister.  I forget that he took over for Golda Meir in 1974 and think of him much more during his 2nd term of Prime Minister from 1992-1995.  I also am always shocked at how short his second term was as it seems he accomplished so much during that term. It speaks to how young the country really is that somebody who played a prominent role in virtually all of Israel’s history is somebody that I recall so vividly.  In many ways it would be like experiencing George Washington, Thomas Jefferson or Ben Franklin in the US.

Rabin in his Palmach uniform in January 1948

Rabin, the first Israeli Prime Minister to be born in Eretz Yisrael (Palestine at the time), served in the Palmach and as a commander in the 1948 Independence War.   As Chief of Staff of the Israel Defense Forces (IDF), he was in charge of the 1967 Six Day War. Following the War, he was appointed Israel’s Ambassador to the United States from 1968 until 1973. Fifty years ago, he was already an icon.  After returning to Israel, Rabin was elected to the Knesset and became Prime Minister Golda Meir’s Minister of Labor. Upon her resignation in 1974, Rabin became Prime Minister.

Being Prime Minister in Israel means you live in interesting times and your leadership is constantly tested.  As Prime Minister, Rabin signed an interim agreement with Syria in May 1974 and one with Egypt over the Sinai in 1975.  One of his most famous actions occurred in 1976 when terrorists hijacked an Israeli plan and flew it to Uganda.  Rabin ordered the  rescue of Israeli, Jewish, and other hostages from Entebbe in Uganda in 1976.  

The raid on Entebbe was a huge success and raised the profile of the Israeli military further beyond the 6 day war. The only casualty was Yonatan Netanyahu, Bibi’s older brother.

Israel is an interesting country with some interesting laws and scandals.  In 1977, it was discovered that he and his wife, Leah, had maintained an American bank account from their time in the US as the Israeli Ambassador.  Leah publicly confirmed that she opened and operated the account alone however, then Attorney General Aharon Barak decided to prosecute both Leah and Yitzhak for this violation which normally only incurred a civil fine.  Named by the media as the ‘Dollar Affair’, Rabin chose to resign over the lapse.  When we look at our leaders today, it’s hard to imagine them taking such a moral and ethical stance over such a small infraction when they are involved in much larger scandals and choose to deny, minimize, and deflect.  Unlike Ariel Sharon, Yitzhak Rabin chose to live his values, morals, and ethics, no matter the cost.

Rabin returned to the Knesset and also served as Minister of Defense from 1984-1990.  In 1992, he again assumed leadership of the Labor party, and was elected to his second term as Prime Minister in June of 1992.

The 1992-1995 years of his second term as Prime Minister, Rabin oversaw some amazing breakthroughs that most people hoped would be transformational in the peace process.  The Oslo Accords were negotiated and signed by Rabin with Yassir Arafat.  In 1994 Rabin was able to negotiate with King Hussein of Jordan on a peace treaty that remains in place 30 years later. These efforts inspired the world and in 1994, Rabin, Shimon Peres and Yasser Arafat were jointly awarded the Nobel Peace Prize “for their efforts to create peace in the Middle East.” 

The 1994 Nobel Peace Prize winners
The famous picture of Rabin and Arafat shaking hands with President Clinton

Sadly, on November 4, 1995, Rabin was assassinated by a right wing, nationalistic Israeli who didn’t want peace.  The assassination came minutes after Rabin gave a pro-peace speech in Tel Aviv to more than 100,000 people cheering and hopeful about a different future.

I remember when Rabin was assassinated and the shock that was felt around the world.  The fact that it was a fellow Jew who murdered him made it even worse.  Hope for a brighter future seemed to disappear and in the 28 years since, has never recovered. 

Every time I am in Israel, I seem to find my way to Rabin Square, the location of the pro-peace speech and his assassination, named for him after his murder.  I’ve been there for Yom Ha’atzmaut celebrations and for concerts.  It’s an empty space until there is a reason to gather.  I can imagine the energy that night and the power of hope.  In the back, there is the area where he was shot.  It’s preserved as a mini-museum documenting what happened.  You can see where everybody was standing and even stand in their footsteps.  You can see where Rabin’s security failed, allowing the murderer access to shoot Rabin.  You can learn about the chaos that happened after the shooting, resulting in him being taken to the wrong hospital, wasting key time that may have been able to save his life.  I am always humbled when I stand there and find myself dreaming of what could have been. 

The memorial where Rabin was assasinated.

I read the David Horovitz biography of Rabin, Shalom Friend, and was deeply moved by the man.  Similar to Ariel Sharon, he was there from the beginning in the War of Independence and throughout all the wars that came after.  Rabin remained committed to his core beliefs throughout and unlike Sharon, didn’t waver.  Rabin was complicated in the fact that he was both a man of war and of peace.  While Sharon faced significant questions related to his sincerity for peace, Rabin was seen by the world as the bringer of peace.  I often wonder if Yitzhak Rabin was the last politician I will see in my lifetime who truly acted on his morals, values, and integrity rather than his electability.  While I don’t doubt what I think Sharon would say and do after October 7th, I am challenged by what Rabin would say and do.  As a Zionist who did everything he could to ensure Israel won every war, he also did everything he could to ensure Israel could win the peace.  Would he bring clarity to the world at a time when it’s so greatly needed?  Would he be able to unite Israel at a time when we are seeing divisions again about the hostages, finishing the war in Gaza, Bibi as Prime Minister, and so much more. 

Despite the Oslo Accords not working the way we hoped, Rabin is a true hero.  Unlike Sharon, a Lion of Israel, Rabin was a true statesman.  He was a true leader.  He had a clear vision for what Israel could and should be.  He had a vision of a world where Israel lived in peace with her neighbors.  Rabin understood America and diaspora Jews just as he understood Israelis.  Perhaps the only thing he didn’t understand was the power of hatred, which cost him his life and has resulted in the Hamas massacre of October 7th.  That’s a shortcoming I’d be happy to accept in a leader of Israel and the US. 

As we celebrate the birth of two icons of the Modern State of Israel this week, we have a chance to learn from them both.  Both taught and continue to teach us important lessons about moral character, about hatred and the short term and long term impacts of it, of leadership and of hope.  Although both died before accomplishing their goals due to a stroke and an assassin, both died with hope in their hearts and in their efforts.  Let’s not let the sacrifices of these two great men go to waste because we lose hope.  Even in times of despair, we must hold onto hope for a brighter future.  It is that hope which will sustain us through the difficult times and allow us to reach better ones. 

Pictures of Rabin and Sharon. The last one also has Shimon Peres. These are the founding fathers of the Modern State of Israel.

What does matter to me?

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

It’s Sunday so it’s back to music that inspires me.  Before this week’s blog, written just before I left for a concert by Sting and Billy Joel, I want to comment on the concert.

Both are amazing musicians and performers. Both are in their early 70s and put on an incredible show. Both brought me back to the late 1970s and early 1980s with their music, as vibrant today as it was when released. That’s the power of music. I sat with my 21 year old son Matthew, his 21 year old girlfriend Carla, and my wife, as we all enjoyed the show. Matthew was amazed when Sting performed one of his songs that was recently sampled by a current artist. Carla was in shock when I explained to her that Scenes from an Italian Restaurant was actually 3 unfinished songs that Billy Joel creatively crafted into an all time classic. We sang, we danced, and we enjoyed the music and the performance. My favorite was Billy Joel imitating Mick Jagger as he sang Start Me Up and did his interpretation of Mick’s dancing. I may write about this concert and what it meant to me later, but it felt wrong not to mention it in a post about music a few hours after experiencing such a powerful few hours of music.

Now onto the song I wanted to discuss.

Luke Combs got a lot of attention at the Grammy’s with his duet with Tracy Chapman.  If somehow you haven’t seen it, watch it.  If you have seen it, watch it again.  There is so much that is truly remarkable about it.  You could see how in awe of her he was and how honored he was to have the chance to sing with her.  It’s a song written by a queer woman of color in the 1980s that was a big hit then and covered by a white country star in 2023 who didn’t change the pronouns and had no problem singing it as written.  And the lyrics speak about the challenges of the American dream in the 1980s that is perhaps even more relevant today.  There is a lesson for us all there that could be an entire different blog post.

I saw Tracy Chapman in concert when I was in college, and it was an amazing show.  She is an amazing artist.  And so is Luke Combs.  I’ve always been a fan of hers and have become a big fan of his and have many of his songs that I love.  Today I want to talk about his song, “Does to me.“

Released in 2019, it makes me feel better that I am only 5 years behind the music curve.  Like a number of amazing songs, Eric Church is also featured.  The lyrics read:

I was a third-string dreamer on a second-place team
But I was hell on wheels with a full head of steam
When coach put me in
And I’m still proud of that hit

To start a song with true self-awareness is an amazing choice.  Most of us like to brag about the size of the fish that we almost caught.  Or we talk about the star player we played with or against.  The superstar we met or saw nearby to us.  The hole in one we almost made, the local tennis tournament we won or almost won.  We glory in greatness or close to greatness.  Yet here is Luke Combs talking about being a third string player who wasn’t very good on a team that wasn’t very good.  It’s about as far from greatness as possible.  When he finally got a chance to play, he was so proud that he actually got a chance to play and did something in the game.  He doesn’t get into any details of ‘that hit’, who it was against, or that anybody else thought it was something special.  Just that he got into the game, played, and made a tackle.  He is bragging about making one tackle.  Not leading the team, not making a key or important tackle to anybody but himself.

We often judge ourselves by other people’s outsides.  What looks good or important.  We forget about what might really be important to us and the things we value.  The songs opening stanza is a reminder that we only need judge ourselves against ourselves.  He knows he isn’t a good player.  He wants to be on the team and is appreciative that he got a chance to actually play.  That one hit is enough for him.  He doesn’t have to be Al Bundy from Married with Children constantly remembering his 4 touchdowns at Polk High School 30 years later.  What makes that funny is we can all relate to that desire for greatness and adoration from the outside when what really matters is what’s inside.

I was a last resort to go to prom with the queen
Thanks to an ex-boyfriend who broke her heart that week
No, I didn’t get luck
But I still felt like a king


Once again, Luke Combs is self-deprecating.  He was the last resort for the prom queen because her boyfriend broke up with her that week AND he didn’t have a date.  Think about what it’s like to acknowledge that yes, I went with the prom queen but only because the week of prom, I didn’t have a date and she suddenly became single.  He’s proudly beating his chest saying I was the best choice of the bottom of the barrel of options for her. 

Once again, he understands who he is and what is important to him.  He got to go to the prom with the queen.  That’s all that matters.  How it happened is a fact but doesn’t define him.  It wasn’t a romantic prom experience, but it was a prom experience that he will forever be grateful to have had. And he can always say he went to prom with the prom queen!

Many things in life are like that for all of us.  If we focus on all the details of the how they happened, we miss out on the great experience.  Many years ago, I took my kids to a Tampa Bay Rays baseball game.  We didn’t have great tickets, but they weren’t bad ones.  Yet when we walked into the ballpark, for some reason they chose us to get the Stubhub upgraded tickets.  We sat behind the Orioles bullpen and my kids had fun talking to the Orioles relievers the entire game.  One of them even gave my kids baseballs. 

Mark Hendrickson was the pitcher on the Orioles who spent most of the game talking with my kids and gave them baseballs. He won’t ever remember them but we will always remember him.

Well more than a decade later, we still talk about the experience and laugh about the funny things they talked to the players about.  We could have focused on the fact that it was the Orioles, not the Rays bullpen.  We could have focused on the fact that players they interacted with were not stars.  Instead Major League players (and Mark Hendrickson in particular) spent most of the game talking with them. Focusing on anything else would only diminish the experience.  Something similar happened at a UFC fight we went to last year.  Sedriques “The Reaper” Dumas came into the stands and they stopped him, took pictures, and spent a minute talking with him and hanging out.  It was a fun moment and I only remember his name because it was unique.  I’d never heard of him before but we thoroughly enjoyed the moment.

Sedriques!

Combs is telling us to enjoy the moment when they come.  It doesn’t matter why or how they come.  Live in the moment, appreciate the cool and fun things when they happen.  Otherwise we miss the moment and they don’t come around often enough.

And that might not mean much to you
But it does to me

This is point of the entire song.  Our life experiences that we value don’t have to mean anything to anybody else.  They only have to matter to us.  As a kid, I was a huge baseball fan (I still am).  I followed both college and the minor leagues.  The college player of the year in 1982 was a guy named Jeff Ledbetter. He attended Florida State. He had been drafted by the Yankees (my favorite team) out of high school and that year was drafted by the Red Sox (their rival) in the first round.  At my summer camp, we used to go to see the Hagerstown Suns (Orioles minor league team) play.  That year they played the Red Sox minor league team and Jeff Ledbetter was on the team and playing.  I was so excited to watch him play.  My friends laughed at me because they’d never heard of him and I was acting as if he was a major league star.  During the game, I went near the bench, found him, and engaged in a conversation.  In 1982, having a fan know who you are in the minor leagues and seek you was a big deal, so he was happy to talk to me during the game.  He even gave me some of his chewing tobacco which I tried (and got sick under the bleachers). I got his autograph and was beyond excited and happy for weeks.  And my friends kept laughing at me.  It didn’t matter to me.  41 years later, I still remember him, the conversation, and the experience because it mattered to me.

Jeff Ledbetter in 1982

We all have stories like this.  It may be a college band.  An author we fell in love with at some point in our life.  The local sports or weather broadcaster on the news.  The high school star athlete when we are in middle or elementary school.  It doesn’t matter who they are in general, only in how they matter to us at that point in our lives.  We treasure those moments because they mark a special time in our life.  We should enjoy them when they come because they don’t come often enough.

So say I’m a middle of the road
Not much to show
Underachieving, average Joe
But I’m a hell of a lover
A damn good brother
And I wear this heart on my sleeve
And that might not mean much to you
But it does to me

Once again, it’s amazing to see somebody so proud of who they are.  Self-awareness is so critical in the world and most of us struggle with it.  We think we are more important that we are, that our roles and titles define us, how much money we make equates to our value.  There has been a loss of pride in doing what we do as best as we can and that being enough.  I think of my grandfathers and what they did.  One owned a 5 and dime with a luncheonette across from the GE factory with his brother-in-law, my great uncle.  Working class, high character, good citizen, good husband, father, grandfather.  The other one worked managing low-income housing with his 2 partners, an accountant and attorney.  They handled the business side; he handled the management and people side.  I’ll never forget that he would get up early, go to the Bridgeport JCC to exercise and have a ‘soak and a schvitz’ (hot tub and steam room) and then come back to have breakfast with my grandmother.  Blue collar, hardworking, good husband, father, and grandfather.  Both were exceptional people and could have been called ‘average Joe’s’.  Neither were flashy.  Neither measured their worth by what they did for a living or how much money they had.  They were good people first. Active community members and true role models.

The second half of the lyric highlights what is important.  Hell of a lover, damn good brother, and not embarrassed to have a heart and let it show.  The final two sentences show that those are the things that matter.  It’s about setting our priorities.  It’s about values.  It’s about ethics.  It’s about what matters to each of us.  I’ve yet to be at a funeral where people reveled in the house the person owned, the car they drove, the jewelry that they wore.  They always talk about the person they were.  Their values.  How they impacted the world.  Their behavior and their actions.  It’s yet another lesson to not judge our insides by other people’s outsides. 

I was the one phone call when my brother went to jail
Pawned my guitar just to pay his bail
No, I will never get it back
But I’m okay with that

Reliability.  Responsibility.  Dependability.  That’s what this verse adds to morals, values, and ethics.  In the example he sings about, he can be depended upon by his family and friends.  He understands what’s important in life, family, and that things can always be replaced.  And if we don’t ever replace the things, they are just things.  Things are designed to be enjoyed and an added bonus to our lives, they are not the key to enjoying our lives. 

Most of my life, I was obsessed with getting the things that I wanted.  The newest technology.  The biggest TV.  I remember getting my first real component stereo system when I was 13 (for those of you too young to know what this was, it was the most incredible thing in the world).  The best car, the nicest and biggest house.  Today, while I appreciate the things I have, I’m just as happier if I have less.  I don’t need the new car or the bigger house.  I’m happy with my phone, which is a few years old, and my TVs, which aren’t the newest nor the biggest.  I have a little Bluetooth speaker to listen to music that cost less than my first turntable.  The things I have enhance my life, they don’t define it.  My family, my mom, my in-laws, siblings, cousins and friends are what’s important.  I’d rather spend the money to go to my cousin’s daughter’s Bat Mitzvah in Chicago than buy some other toy.   It’s so nice having less because I actually have more.

I was the first man standing next to my best friend
The day the love of his life said “I do” to him
I was a couple beers deep
But I still remembered that speech
And that might not mean much to you
But it does to me

I have had the privilege of being the best man a few times in family and friend’s weddings.  I even had a chance to officiate a friend’s wedding last month!  The opportunity to be present for these life events are priceless.  Where before I may have found an excuse to not go, letting my life be too busy to take the time, spend the money, or whatever excuse I came up with, I have realized that there is nothing like being there when loved ones celebrate special occasions.  The most valuable thing in life is time and the people we choose to spend it with.  Over the past 25 years, I have made choices and spent time with people that when I look back, weren’t worth the time or the opportunity cost of doing so.  Today I get to choose who I want to be around.  Who is worth my time.  Who do I want in my life and why are they important.  It’s a much smaller group of people but it’s a much more impactful group of people.  It’s a lesson that I wish I had learned earlier in life and certainly one that I am actively teaching my children now.  I want them to understand that people will show you who they are and use that to ensure they don’t have to waste the time that I did with people who show you they don’t deserve it. 

There’s a worn-out blade that my Granddaddy gave me
My Mama’s first Bible, Daddy’s Don Williams vinyl
That first-fish-catching Zebco thirty-three
Well, that might not mean much to you
But it does to me

I have a number of things from my grandparents and my dad that are meaningful to me.  It’s not the financial value of them, it’s the emotional value.  I have my grandfather’s masonic ring that I can wear because, like him, I joined the Masons.  I have the newspaper covers from when Nixon resigned that my other grandfather had, which always reminds me of him and working in his basement workshop together.  We have the handmade wooden trucks that my wife’s grandfather made with his handwriting, signature and date on the bottom.  I have candlesticks and special China from my great grandmother than I still use.  It’s not the item itself that has the value, it’s the memories they bring up.  Once again, we are reminded that time and people are what matter.  The memories we make with people are what last forever.  The stories we get to tell our children and grandchildren make them live for generations after they are gone.  I am not the handiest person in the world, but I have my grandfather’s tools because he was handy and used them constantly.  Holding them in my hand is like holding his hand, 25 years after he passed away. 

So say I’m a middle of the road
Not much to show
Underachieving average Joe
But I’m a hell of a lover
A damn good brother
And I wear this heart on my sleeve
And I’m a damn hard working
One thing’s for certain
I stand up for what I believe


And that might not mean much to you
But it does to me

The final stanza, while similar to one above, adds two key lines to highlight.  The first is working hard.  We live in a world today where hard work is often considered a four-letter word.  That working hard is related to compensation and if we don’t feel that we are compensated appropriately, we don’t work as hard.  This line reminds us that working hard is entirely about ourselves.  It’s about our values, our morals, our ethics.  We choose to work hard because it is who we are.  I remember when being told you worked hard was a complement that had nothing to do with a paycheck.  Hard work in school was its own reward.  As a 15 year old working part time at Wendy’s for $3.35 an hour I worked hard because I was taught that was what you did at a job, regardless of the pay.  It makes a statement about my values, not my wallet.  I have never forgotten that lesson.

As he finishes the song by saying “I stand up for what I believe.” I find myself thinking how important that is.  A friend used to say all the time that, “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”  I think about that and often ask myself, what do I believe?  What is important to me?  What does society tell me matters that really doesn’t.  How much is ego driven instead of value driven?  What is the outcome I really want and if I don’t stand up for what I believe, can I get that outcome both externally and internally.  There have been times in my life when I have gotten the external outcome that I desired but internally it was empty.  It didn’t feel good.  There have been times where I didn’t get the external outcome I desired, however I stood up for what I believed and even though others might say that I ‘lost’, I actually won because at the end of the day, I felt good inside. 

I truly love this song because as I have said earlier, it reminds me not to judge my insides with other’s outsides.  It reminds me that what I choose to value and prioritize is what matters, not what society or other people tell me matters.  At the end of the day, if society views me as a success but internally, I am empty, I am not a success.  If I feel internally successful and value the way I live my life, nothing else matters. 

This Steve Jobs quote truly resonates. Do something wonderful today. Be with the people you want to be with. Stand up for what you believe.