Author: Keith Dvorchik

Keith has been a nonprofit leader for 25 years before moving into the consulting world in 2023. He focuses on three major areas: (1) Fundraising - All aspects from creating development plans, solicitations, annual, capital, endowment and special campaigns, as well as feasibility studies. (2) Organizational development - This includes reviewing and creating the business structure, coaching and mentoring employees, board and staff training, job description review and creation, and creating organizational structure and charts. (3) Family philanthropy.- Focusing on the goals of the family/individual to determine where to give and how to measure impact and ROI. This also includes the best vehicles to use for philanthropy and compliance for these vehicles. Keith is a proud Zionist, having visited Israel 25 times. He has spent time meeting with leaders of Palestinian Civil Society as well as Israeli-Arabs, and lots of time with Jewish Israelis. He is a huge sports fan. Favorite teams are the NY Yankees, Penn State Nittany Lions, Philadelphia 76ers and whatever team his oldest son is coaching. The opinions in this blog are entirely Keith’s. To contact him, you can email keithdvorchik@gmail.com

Sunday’s musical inspiration – Luke Bryan and Most People are Good.

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

It’s Sunday so time to let music be my inspiration.  This week it’s a song by Luke Bryan from 2017 titled, “Most People are Good”.  It’s an interesting choice since not long ago, inspired by Anne Frank, I was talking about how there aren’t enough good people in the world.  I’m honestly not sure if there aren’t enough good people or if they are just quiet and do good, or if the media just chooses to only focus on the bad.  Perhaps it’s a combination of all three. 

The lyrics are insightful and thoughtful.

I believe kids oughta stay kids as long as they can.  Turn off the screen, go climb a tree, get dirt on their hands. 

We live in a world where kids grow up way to fast.  I think back to my childhood where we played outside every day.  People had part time jobs for pocket money not as a primary goal nor to further our future careers.  We played multiple sports and had diverse groups of friends.  There was no such thing as “travel ball.”  My mom would make us take off not just our shoes but our dirty clothes in the garage before entering the house.  Times were simpler.  The only screens were TVs and VCRs were fairly new so you could try to tape a show if you missed it but our lives were not dominated by TV, the internet (didn’t exist), streaming services, etc.  We stayed kids as long as we could and that wasn’t a bad thing.  When I look at how my kids and their friends grew up compared how I grew up, it’s truly a different world.  We walked or road our bikes everywhere.  Our parents didn’t know where we were every moment of every day through tracking software on cellphones or texting.  Life was simpler.  I have done what I can to provide that for my children.  We have never tracked their location on their cellphones.  We encourage them to stay kids as long as they can because adulting is both hard and long.  Childhood is meant to be cherished and in today’s world, it’s now rushed through.  I worry about our future when kids aren’t allowed and encouraged to be kids.

I believe we gotta forgive and make amends.  ‘Cause nobody gets chance to make new old friends.

I consider myself lucky, in part because I have so many friends for more than 30 years.  Some are more than 40 years and others more than 50.  People who I grew up with.  People who I have known most of my life.  Like the song says, you can’t make new, old friends.  Many years ago, I learned to ask a very important question.  Would I rather be happy, or right?  Most of the time, I’d rather be happy and choose actions that provide happiness.  By choosing to be happy, I forgive and make amends.  My friends stay my friends and we get through the challenges that all friendships and relationships have.  Just this week I was talking to a friend from middle school and a friend from high school.  I am getting together with a high school friend today because she is in town.  These relationships are precious.  They span decades and go back to a simpler time with cherished memories.  In today’s world, we often let disagreements end friendships.  Life is too short.  Time is too precious.  What do I gain from ending friendships that have lasted decades over unimportant things?  I like that my children know my old friends.  I like that they tell my children stories from ‘the old days’, even when they are embarrassing and especially when they are funny. Here are just a few pictures of a few of them.

I just got to spend time with Jim, Ananda, and Anna Marie at our friend Jeremy’s wedding. It has been years for some of us yet it felt like no time had passed.

My friend Aric who tells my kids classic stories they often don’t believe. We became friends in 1988 and are like brothers.

My friend Todd who has great stories to tell my kids, also ones they don’t believe. We became friends in 1987 and talk at least once a week.

My dear friend Ron – we have experienced the ups and downs of life together for the past 30+ years.

Larry and I met in either 1984 or 1985. We still talk every week.

Jamal and I have been friends for 20 years. He always inspires me and I am humbled when he says the same about me.

Darryl and I have been friends since 6th grade. He is now a mentor to my son Evan. Who wants to try to make new, old friends when you have old friends like this?

I read a very interesting article about two friends in Israel who allowed their political differences to impact their friendship.  The impact of October 7th made them realize how important their friendship is and their disagreements politically aren’t a reason to not be friends.  That’s a real life example of this lyric. 

I believe in workin’ hard for what you’ve got.  Even if it doesn’t add up to a hell of a lot.

My grandparents and parents taught me early in life the importance of hard work.  They would often say that hard work is its own reward.  As a kid, this was hard to understand.  Hard work was to get a result.  It was to obtain things.  How could hard work be its own reward?

As I got older, I began to understand what they were talking about.  It is about having a work ethic.  It is about having values and living up to them.  It is having integrity and working hard because it is the right thing to do, not because you will get a specific outcome. 

The older I have gotten, the more I appreciate the things I have.  Growing up and into my 30s it was all about more, more, more.  The bigger house.  The nicer car.  More toys.  The newest technology.  Today I am grateful for what I have and often time realize that I would be just as happy, if not happier, if I had less.  There is value in appreciating what you have and not wanting more all the time. 

There is also another hidden message in these lyrics.  Often times we judge people based on appearance.  Based on the car they drive, the clothes they wear.  This line urges us to look at the person, not what or how much they have.  It reminds me of quote by the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in which he said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”  The color of their skin, the amount of money in their bank account, the type of car they drive, the clothes they wear – all have nothing to do with the content of their character.  All have nothing to do with the type of person and human being they are.  We need to pay attention to who people are based on their actions, not their bank account.

A brilliant quote from To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. We see what we look for.

I believe most people are good and most mamas oughta qualify for sainthood.

This is the line that I struggle with.  Not the second part but the first part.  In today’s world, are most people good?  Half the country hates the other half.  The rise in antisemitism is frightening.  We literally see Nazis in Central Florida every few weeks.  Sometimes in uniform, usually waving a big Nazi flag and chanting horrible things with awful signs.  In Nashville there was a Nazi march where people were chanting ‘Heil Hitler’.  This is not the 1930s in Germany.  This is 2024 in the United States.  Crime is up.  Instead of random acts of kindness, we see random acts of violence.  The rape, murder, and kidnapping of Jews on October 7th is acceptable only because they are Jews.  Calls for a ceasefire happen daily but these people don’t demand the release of the hostages, now in their 133rd day of captivity.  Too many good people are silent.  It seems that over the past few years the famous quote, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” was everywhere being said by everybody.  Yet after October 7th, these people went silent.  It seems there are daily demonstrations of the evil of humanity.  I look every day for signs that most people are good and yet most people fail the test every day. 

This was yesterday, 2 miles from my house. The hatred is real.
I never thought I’d see Nazi flags flying like this in my lifetime. This was February 17, 2024.
The growth of antisemitism is real. February 17, 2024 in Winter Park, FL.

It is a reminder to me that I can’t control anybody else.  I am only responsible for myself.  I can choose to be good.  I can do my part to make the world a better place.  I can choose to engage in random acts of kindness.  I can choose to fight against all hatred and stand up and speak out.  I can be an example and live true to my values.  Perhaps if we each take responsibility for ourselves, we will end up with most people being good.  At the end of the day, I’m not responsible for most people.  I am responsible for myself.

I love the line about most mamas qualifying for sainthood.  Being a parent is difficult and as I have watched my mom, my mother-in-law, and my wife, I see how much more difficult it is to be a mom.  I don’t know if it is societal expectations and training or something innate, but the differences between being a mom and a dad are significant.  I am ok with my children struggling – it’s part of life and learning important life lessons.  My wife wants to protect them from any struggles, it’s in her DNA as a mom.  We both love our children and want only the best for them.  We talked about this last night, and I was fascinated by the difference in our points of view.  So I agree with Luke Bryan – most mamas should be Saint Mama. 

I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights.

As the parent of a high school football player, there was not much better than Friday Night Lights and watching my son play each week.  It was an incredible four years and six years after it ended, I still miss it. 

I can dig deeper into this lyric and go beyond high school football.  Growing up, Friday night meant Shabbat dinner.  It didn’t matter what I wanted to do before or after, we sat down as a family, often with guests, for Shabbat dinner.  My mom would light Shabbat candles, my dad would typically make kiddush, and one of the kids would say the Motzi.  No matter what, we were together as a family for Shabbat dinner.  When my son played high school football, that became our Shabbat dinner – together as a family, under the stadium lights, usually eating a hot dog or hamburger for dinner, and loving every minute of being together. 

Friday night, Shabbat, gives me the opportunity to set aside the business of the week and focus on the things that are really important.  Family.  Friends.  Spirituality.  Health.  Just like Friday Night Lights creates a special environment, Shabbat itself creates that opportunity, if we are willing to take it.   I fully admit that I am not a traditionally shomer shabbat person.  I do use Shabbat as a break from the week.  It’s the day that I get to refocus and recenter.  It’s the day I focus more intensely on family.   As a family of college football fanatics, Shabbat has been a traditional day where all four of us sit together all day watching college football.  When the kids were little, we all climbed into our bed.  Now that they are bigger than me, we watch in the living room.  It’s become a family tradition that is a break from the rest of the week. 

Friday night looks better under the neon or stadium lights because of the uniqueness they offer.  Friday night also looks better because of the uniqueness of Shabbat and the opportunity to, for one day, set aside the stress of the real world and focus instead on the smaller, more intimate world of family and friends.

I believe you love who you love.  Ain’t nothing you should ever be ashamed of.

It makes me so happy that a country singer wrote these words and sings it proudly.  Country music and fans of country music are often categorized as racist and homophobic.  To have a major country music star make this type of statement helps improve the world.  It says loud and clear that people are people.  Who you love is your business and nobody else’s.  And there is nothing wrong with loving whoever it is that you love.

Growing up, we had a tight group of friends that all went to Hebrew School together.  Most of us also went to the same public schools.  We remain close today and have a Facebook messenger chat group to keep in touch.    I remember when two members of our tightknit group came out.  It wasn’t a surprise to any of us.  We had known for years and years.  It didn’t matter because we love everybody in the group for who they are.  We celebrate all the diversity of our friends because of who they are.

My confirmation class – we stay in touch 40 years later.

In a song about most people being good, this line is so important.  Hate is simply unacceptable yet continues to grow in our world.  It doesn’t matter who the hate is targeting.  It can be the African American community, the LGBTQ+ community, the Asian community, the Muslim community, the Jewish community – hate is hate is hate.  We must stand together against all hate because those who live in hate will simply move their hatred from group to group.  Our power comes from standing together and strongly condemning all hate.  Not allowing it to fester and grow.  Hate is taught which means we can teach love instead of hate.  Just like Luke Bryan, I believe you love who you love and there is nothing to be ashamed of.  You are who you are and there is nothing to be ashamed of.  If we want to live in a world driven by love instead of hate, we accept people for who they are and appreciate all the differences each of us bring to our community and to the world. 

I believe this world ain’t half as bad as it looks.  I believe most people are good.

Despite some of my struggles with most people being good, I find this line inspirational.  Perhaps it is because he says it ‘ain’t half as bad as it looks’, recognizing that the world looks pretty bad today.  So much of why the world looks bad is because of what the media shows us. The saying, “If it bleeds, it leads” has become more than the truth, it seems it is now the mantra for the media.  We get shown the worst of humanity most of the time.  We live in our own bubbles where we don’t interact enough with people who are different from us.  We don’t celebrate our diversity and we don’t bother to try to understand others, instead we try to get them to agree with us. 

In 2019 I had the gift of participating on the Encounter Immersive Program.  This is a program that takes Jewish leaders to meet with leaders of Palestinian civil society for four days.  I remember thinking that four days seemed awful short.  After day 3, I was grateful it was only four days.  The tagline for Encounter is “Listen, Learn, Lead.”  And the program is really all about listening.  It’s about understanding a different point of view and perspective.  It’s not about trying to convince anybody of my beliefs but rather a chance for me to learn about their beliefs, their narrative, their story.  It was a truly fascinating experience that I wrote about earlier in this blog – you can find the many posts I wrote near the beginning of this site.  By listening, learning, and asking clarifying questions, I got a better understanding of the challenges in the region.  It wasn’t just the simple good vs. evil or mine vs. yours.  It gave me a chance to dig into challenges that have reframed by understanding.  It only strengthened my Zionism while also increasing my humanity and building bridges. 

If we can get beyond the surface answers and really spend time communicating – listening and learning – there is hope for the future.  Not just in Israel but in the United States and around the world.  There is so much clickbait and so many people only read the headlines without really understanding the details that it is easy to lose hope and only see the negative.  I truly believe that most of us want the same things, it is more about how we get there and how we find was to talk about it that are the key.  I think often of the stories of President Ronald Reagan and Speaker of the House, Tip O’Neill.  They would spend all day arguing policy and at the end of the day, they would go out together and get a beer.  How do we get back to the days when we focused on our similarities, not our differences?

So maybe the world really isn’t half as bad as it looks.  We can certainly hope and do our part, since it looks pretty awful right now.

I believe them streets of gold are worth the work.  But I’d still wanna go even if they were paved in dirt. 

My parents taught us all that results aren’t promised.  We can only do our part and put in the work.  That’s what they asked of us – put in the work.  I remember being happy in school getting an A- without any work and my parents being very upset.  I didn’t understand.  I remember working hard and only getting a B and they were happy and supportive.  That confused me as well – wasn’t the A- better than the B?  It took me a long time to understand that the value was in the work, not the result. 

As I got older and began to understand the importance of the work itself, I began to learn things like not having control of the results.  I can only do the work and put things in place for a likelihood of success.  There are too many other factors to make it my responsibility for the outcome.  The wisdom of Benjamin Franklin spoke to me when said, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”.    One of my mentors, Rabbi Mark Kram, was famous for saying “Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”   

Over the past years as I began to learn with a Rabbi, these thinking was reinforced again.  I have learned with many Rabbis and educators.  One common theme has been and continues to be that everything comes from God.  Our job is to the work, not determine the results.  Recently I was having dinner with my friend Harry Rothenberg, an attorney who is perhaps the best Jewish educator I have ever experienced.  I watch his video blog every week and learn something meaningful each time.  We were talking about how he had been stuck in terrible traffic and was going to be late to an event.  He didn’t have a chance to eat lunch and there was a great cocktail reception before the event with delicious food.  He was incredibly hungry and was going to miss the chance to eat.  He was getting frustrated.  He managed to make it to the event just as they were finishing clearing up the last of the food.  Disappointed and hungry, he sat down for the event.  At that time, he realized that the entire plan was one from God.  He made the event on time.   He arrived safely.  Sure he missed the food but he wasn’t going to starve.  He just missed the food.  In the meantime, he had missed the bigger picture of everything being God’s plan. He realized he needed to do better.

Harry and me after dinner and a great learning session. I love having him as a friend and teacher.

I was inspired by the story for two reasons.  First, if you are like me, you tend to get caught up in what is happening that minute and can lose sight of the big picture.  I can get upset because traffic means I will be late.  The person in front of me is driving slowly.  I didn’t get to eat lunch and am hungry.  All sorts of details that are happening right at that time but don’t really matter.  I lose the big picture that I I will arrive where I need to get safely.  That patience is a virtue.  That I won’t starve and have plenty of food, just not at that minute.  When I focus on the big picture, I get filled with gratitude.  Even if the roads are paved in dirt, they feel like they are paved in gold.

The second part of inspiration is the desire to do better.  There is always an opportunity to improve, to do a little more, to be a little better.  My spiritual advisor, Mickey Singer, would often guide me that life is a journey to be experienced.  We are here as a spiritual being, having a human experience, so experience it.  Realizing that we can improve, that we can be better, and doing the work required to do better really does make those dirt roads into gold.

I believe that youth is spent well on the young.  ‘Cause wisdom in your teens would be a lot less fun. 

How many times have any of us said, “If I only knew then what I know now…”?  Would we really want to know then what we know now? As a 16-year-old, would I really know and be able to follow through on things that took me 40 years to learn?  Would that knowledge ruin the childhood that I talked about above?  Would I be any better off knowing it then but not having the capacity or ability to really take advantage of it? 

Youth is for the young.  Our bodies are able to do more.  We have more energy and the lessons of the world have not been learned yet.  As somebody who grew up in the 70s and 80s, I look back with fond memories.  Not because I want to be who I was back then but because of who I was back then.  It was the only time in my life that I could be that person.  That I could have the freedom offered to the young.  No physical restriction.  No limitations because of the responsibilities of a wife and children.  No career to be concerned about. 

I think about friends who didn’t have the luxury of youth when they were young.  Financial insecurity.  Issues with permanent housing.  Unstable home life situations.  They were forced to grow up quickly and had far more wisdom at 16 or 20 than I did.  It comes at a cost.  I think of the children impacted by the war with Israel and Hamas.  They have far too much life wisdom now.  How many of them would trade all of this wisdom to go back to an October 6th world?

We live in such a fast-paced world now that kids don’t get a chance to be kids.  There is academic pressure that begins at an insanely early age.  I remember a few years ago talking to parents about their 2-year-old child in our preschool.  The child’s grandfather had already called Harvard about getting him on a wait list.  Let me repeat, the child was 2 YEARS OLD!  I think about the IB and AP courses my children took in high school and the academic pressure they faced.  In hindsight was it really worth it?  When I talk with them the answer is no – both would have been much happier doing a dual enrollment program or even taking regular coursework. 

Youth is for the young.  Let’s not steal it from them by trying to get them somewhere before they need to be there.

I believe if you just go by the nightly news, your faith in all mankind would be first thing you lose.

I stopped watching the nightly news a number of years ago.  Everything was negative and the national news was focused entirely on their own spin.  There is a reason there is no longer a news department and these programs are in the entertainment division.  It is far too easy to find a news channel that will reinforce your own beliefs or will make you hate those with different views. 

For a while I watched the CBS Sunday morning show because they only told happy and inspiring stories.  It made me realize that there are plenty of these stories available if you look for them.  We don’t have to be consumed with the negativity and lose our faith in mankind.  We can find the stories that inspire us.  That give us hope.  One news site I follow does a story every Sunday where they allow a reader to tell a story of gratitude where they get to highlight the kindness somebody else did for them.  It’s one of my favorite things to read because it reinforces faith in mankind. 

The nightly news can be toxic.  On October 7th, my friend the Consul General of Israel to Florida, told me to stop watching the news.  It wasn’t healthy to be so focused and so obsessed on the murder, rape, and kidnapping of Jews by Hamas.  I understood but also couldn’t stop.  When I watched the Hamas video of October 7th, many people asked why I would want to see that inhumanity and put myself through it.  I told them I needed to bear witness.  We have to be careful with what we consume as it shapes our reality.  I spend time talking with friends of mine in Israel, with friends who have had family members taken hostage – some have been released and some are still hostages.  I talk with people who are actively looking to change the world through their actions.  Medical research.  Summer camp for children.  People working with victims of terror to attempt to restore humanity.  Mentoring and coaching youth who need the guidance and support to have a better future.  Those working with pediatric hospitalized patients and seniors struggling with loneliness.  People focused on finding the light in the world amidst the darkness.

We can find our faith in mankind restored when we choose to see the beauty happening all around us and make an active choice to join in that beauty. 

I believe that days go slow, and years go fast.  And every breath’s a gift, the first one to the last.

As a kid, the days went slow, and the years seemed to go slower.  There was always something to look forward to.  Turning 10 and being double digits.  13 was Bar Mitzvah.  16 was my driver’s license.  Graduating high school and going off to college.  18 was voting. 21 the legal drinking age.  Graduating college.  Focusing on the milestones, time seemed to drag on as the next one was always so significant and exciting.   I remember when my oldest son was born and being told that now the days will go slow, but the years will go fast.  How true that statement became.  It seems like yesterday my sons were in preschool, taking naps, and I was reading them bedtime stories as we cuddled, never certain who fell asleep first, them or me.  Precious days and precious times.  My wife commented to me the other day how much she misses my older son who is now in Tennessee starting his career.  My youngest is still at home and we treasure the time because it goes too fast.  In a few months he will be a senior in college, and we will prepare for the next big change in our lives. 

I turned 56 in December.  I still feel like I am in my 30s most days and there are times I feel like I’m back in high school.  Yet 60 is around the corner.  I remember when my Uncle Joe died at 50 years old thinking, “at least he lived a good long life.”   I was 21 – what did I know?  As a kid, filled with youth and being young, time was plentiful and abundant.  Now it is the most precious commodity in the world.  We only get so much of it and then it is gone forever.

I first experienced this when my cousin Eric died in 1995 at the age of 27.  We grew up together and were like brothers.  My childhood is filled with stories of Eric and me.  One day he was here, vibrant, alive, with an incredible future.  Then he was gone.  I was blessed to know two of my great grandparents, all four of my grandparents, all four of my wife’s grandparents, and have great relationships with my parents and my in-laws.  My great-grandparents and all eight of the grandparents are now gone.  I treasure the time with them and appreciate all that I got.  My dad died in September 2022, and I miss him every day.  My cousin Todd, Eric’s younger brother, died tragically in 2015.  After Eric’s death, he became another little brother to me, and we had many long and deep conversations.  I had spoken with him a few days before he died.  Every breath truly is a gift, the first to the last.  And we are never promised the next one. 

Its still hard to believe it has been almost 30 years since Eric died

I can’t beieve it’s 8 1/2 years since Todd died.

Over the last two years I had a number of health issues.  I was still in the youth mindset of living forever and being indestructible, despite the clear signals that wasn’t true.  My dad dying was the point where I knew I had to make changes.  I lost weight, got in better shape, and tried to put better boundaries in my life.  Work life balance became much more important as I realized that I had taken more breaths in my past than I would in my future.  As these changes took hold and required significant life alterations, it really hit home when my mom said to me, “I was waiting for the call telling me you had a heart attack.”  That statement shook me to the core and still does today.  I’ve chosen to live my life differently as a result.  Each breath we get is truly precious, from the first to the last.  Why would want to waste a single one?

Who would have thought that a simple country music song would inspire a 5,000-word essay?  I guess the need for believing that most people are good is really that important.  The world we live in is so fraught with challenges that a simple believe in the goodness of people is essential and a given.  Let’s join together to change that.

Israel’s 1948 covenants with the Jewish people

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

On Monday I listened to Ambassador Michael Oren speak about what’s going on in Israel.  He talked about many different topics, and each was fascinating.  The one that struck me the deepest was the covenant created in 1948 between the Israeli Government and the Israeli people and how October 7th violated that covenant for the first time.

Ambassador Michael Oren and me

I found the use of the word covenant significant as this is the basis for the Jewish people, our covenant made between Abraham and God.  I don’t think Ambassador Oren used it indiscriminately but rather intentionally to connect the two covenants: the one between God and Abraham and the one between the Israeli government and the Israeli/Jewish people.  He told us that there were two covenants between the Israeli government and the Israeli people made in 1948, both of which were broken on October 7th.

The first covenant relates to the fact that literally almost 3 years to the day that the Shoah ended, David Ben Gurion issued the Declaration of Independence, creating the State of Israel.  At that time, the covenant was ‘Never Again’.  Now that we had a country and would have an army, something like the Shoah would never happen again.  Yet on October 7th, Hamas terrorists murdered the largest number of Jews since the Shoah.  The government and the army did not protect the people and allowed it to happen.  The how and why will be determined at a later date, but the covenant was broken.  

The second covenant was that the Government would never leave anybody behind.  Whatever the cost to get Jews and Israelis back when taken hostage or captive would be paid for their return.  When Gilad Shalit was taken hostage, the eventual deal to release him meant that Israel traded 1,027 prisoners, terrorists, murderers, in exchange for Gilad.  It was a heavy price to pay, especially in hindsight since one of them was Yahya Sinwar, the head of Hamas and architect of the October 7th attacks.  While being controversial at the time, it was this covenant that led to it happening.  Since that trade and what Sinwar has become and done, Israel has not been willing to pay whatever the price required to release all the hostages.  As a result, we are now in day 132 of the hostages being held.  Israel’s security needs are outweighing the price being demanded by Hamas, breaking this covenant as well.  This is why we see families of hostages blocking the road where humanitarian aid is being delivered by Israel.  It is why former MK Einat Wilf recently stated that Israel should not have given or permitted any humanitarian aid to Gaza unless they released the hostages.  It is why Israel hasn’t filled the tunnels with gasoline and thrown in a match, eliminating Hamas leadership, who are hiding in the tunnels.  The hostages are also in the tunnels and getting them back is required.

In November 2013 I had the honor of meeting Gilad Shalit (pictured with his girlfriend)

As he spoke to us and shared these two covenants, I began to think about how many people have no understanding of what’s going on.  The LGBTQ+ community in support of Hamas, who would execute them for existing.  Women who stand up against sexual violence everywhere yet remain quiet when it’s Israeli/Jewish women because somehow it was justified.   The cries of genocide as the number of people in Gaza continue to increase year after year after year.  Calling Israel an apartheid state while not understanding the definition or how it goes against everything being Jewish is about.  Ethnic cleansing when the exact opposite is happening and while the arab states in the region have removed all or almost of all their Jews. 

The cries of indiscriminate killing by Israel is absurd.  There is data, based on what Hamas has unreliably provided, that prove this fact.  In December 2023, an article highlighted the data analysis that proved this to be false.  This data analysis shows that

Our analysis of reported deaths in Gaza in the 2014 and 2023 conflicts rules out any allegations of “indiscriminate killing” of civilians; it suggests rather that the opposite is true. The data highlight a clear and significant excess of deaths amongst males, and particularly those aged 20-39 who would be the most likely in the combatant population. This finding was consistent in both the 2014 and 2023 conflicts, which refutes any such allegation in both wars.

In addition, in his most recent substack piece, Ambassador Oren breaks down the unreliable data provided by Hamas to show that the civilian to combatant fatality rate in Gaza is one to one.  He also documents that according to The New York Times, the Boston Globe, and the Watson Institute of Brown University, in America’s wars in Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan, the ratio was four civilians killed for every combatant. The record for NATO’s 1999 intervention in Serbia was similarly four-to-one.   Israel is 4 times better in Gaza than the United States was in Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan as well NATO in Serbia, yet Israel is accused of indiscriminate killing.

A friend of mine who is very liberal, has reached out a lot since October 7th with questions.  Things he didn’t know and after October 7th and the rise in antisemitism, he wants to learn.  He is always stunned that the more he learns, the less things make sense.  The clearer the situation becomes; the murkier reality is.  We chat online regularly throughout the week.  I appreciate his questions as they come from a place of inquiry.  We need to continue to encourage the asking of questions and the often times hard answers.  Hasbara is no longer enough.  We must confront the challenges that exist in order to take advantage of the opportunities that come as a result. 

Most days I find myself frustrated with the media and the lack of honest reporting.  Another friend, who is not Jewish, asked me today, “How come we don’t hear much about the hostages anymore?”  Since I hear about them every day, put my masking tape on with the updated number of days they have been hostages every day, wear my Bring Them Home Now dogtag and my We Will Dance Again dogtag every day and choose not to watch or listen to most of the main stream media, I didn’t realize the coverage has disappeared.  As the cries for ‘Cease Fire Now’ continue, I wonder why ‘Bring the home now’ isn’t just as loud or louder?  As the cries for more humanitarian aid get louder, I wonder why the fact that the UN and UNRWA aren’t even picking up the truckloads of aid that are dropped off for them to pick up daily.  As the proof of UNRWA being both a funder of Hamas and that so many of the UNRWA employees are members of Hamas continues to grow, why the demand that they must continue even exists.  Now that it’s been shown that the hostages never got the medication that was supposed to be given to them, why is the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) still in existence?  133 days as hostages and not a single visit from the ICRC.  Isn’t that their entire reason for existing?

This picture, from February 15, 2024, shows the content of 500 trucks of humanitarian aid on the Gazan side of Kerem Shalom, AFTER Israeli inspection, waiting to be picked up and distributed by UN orgs. It was the 3rd day in a row that hundreds of trucks are not picked up and distributed to the people of Gaza by UNRWA.

I remember growing up and being told by my grandparents and my Rabbi that being Jewish wasn’t easy.  That being Jewish meant we had to do more than the minimum.  That we had obligations that went far beyond what was acceptable as the norm.  That we have a history of being hated that wasn’t going away.  In their wildest dreams, I don’t think my grandparents, my father, or my Rabbi could have imagined the world as it is today.  I am 100% sure that my grandparents and my father would be cheering on the IDF and encouraging them to finish the job.  Not because they hate the Palestinian people or the Gazan people.  It would be because the loved the Jewish people and they know that if we don’t protect ourselves, nobody else will.  We have thousands of years of proof of that.  Luckily, today we have Israel and the IDF to ensure the survival of the Jewish people.  It may not be pretty, and it certainly isn’t what any of us want to be happening.  It also is what is necessary to ensure that the Jewish people and the State of Israel continue to flourish.  My heart breaks for the innocent civilians who have been killed because of Hamas and their use of human shields and terror.  My heart breaks for innocent people who have lost everything because of Hamas.  I wish them no ill will.  But my heart is broken and will remain broken for my Jewish brothers and sisters who were murdered on October 7th.  For my IDF brothers and sisters who paid the ultimate price for the survival of the Jewish people.  For the families who have lost loved ones or still have loved ones as hostages.  For all those displaced as a result of Hamas’s hatred

The creation of the modern State of Israel means the Jewish people will no longer be sheep led to slaughter.  That may bother a lot of antisemites and I don’t care. 

Am Yisrael Chai.  Never Again. 

The Center for Israel Education inspires and teaches

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

Approximately 20 years ago at an AIPAC Policy Conference, I attended one of the breakout sessions to learn a bit more about a detailed topic.  The presenter, Professor Ken Stein from Emory University, blew my mind with details and facts that I didn’t know.  I sat there taking notes with tons of questions forming in my mind.  There were so many of them, I had to write those down as well.  After the session, I went up to talk with him and ask some of those questions.  It was an inauspicious start of a friendship and professional relationship that lasts until today.

My friend Professor Ken Stein

I made it a point to always attend Ken’s sessions at AIPAC.  I was amazing that he was the only speaker on Israel that I found nobody had a problem with.  They may ask tough questions, but Ken wasn’t trying to do Hasbara (trying to convince somebody you are correct) but rather shared the facts and allowed you to determine your own beliefs.  As a result of this, I brought Ken to Seattle and then to Orlando to teach about the history of Israel. 

In 2008, Ken created the Center for Israel Education (CIE), a nonprofit dedicated to educating the public about modern State of Israel.  Using source documents, CIE provides context to a challenging topic.  A number of years ago, I was honored when Ken asked me to join the board of directors and I have been a member ever since. 

Each week, CIE provides information that is both timely and interesting.  Sometimes it is related to, “This week in Israeli history” while other times it relates to what’s happening in the world.   I find it interesting and learn a lot about people and policies that I didn’t know.  This week’s information was particularly interesting for two reasons.

The first reason relates to ‘This week in Israeli history’.  On Feb. 14, 1896, Vienna journalist Theodor Herzl published 500 copies of a pamphlet entitled “Der Judenstaat” (“The Jewish State”), declaring the need and justice of Jewish sovereignty 18 months before he convened the First Zionist Congress.  I’ve been to Israel 20 times and been to Herzl’s grave at least 20 times.  It’s a powerful place to visit as he was the person who had the vision of a Jewish state.   Whenever I am there, I find myself humbled by his vision and always remember his famous quote, “If you will it, it is no dream.”   That quote has inspired me throughout my career.

Theodore Herzl – the founder of Zionism

Interestingly enough, Herzl’s idea wasn’t limited to the middle east or to the historic greater Israel.  He merely wanted the Jewish people to have their own land where they were in charge and had self-determination.  He wrote about It wasn’t until the First Zionist Congress held in Basel, Switzerland with 200 delegates from across the Jewish world, that the goal to establish a Jewish State in the Land of Israel were explicitly adopted by the new Zionist movement.

Theodore Herzl at the First Zionist Congress in Basel on August 25, 1897

Herzl, as a secular Jew and journalist, was inspired by the Dryfuss Affair to find a way to keep Jews safe.  It was his vision to have a Jewish State, a homeland, where Jews would be in charge and Jews would be safe.  Where Jews would have the power of self-determination.  He didn’t care where it was, only that it existed.   It was at the First Zionist Congress that non-secular Jews, who understood the tie to the biblical land, ensured that the land would need to be in our historic homeland, not just anywhere.

The Dryfuss Affair on the cover of The New Yorker

Captain Alfred Dryfuss, wrongly convicted because he was a Jew.

It ties to the famous Chaim Weizmann quote.  When a member of the House of Lords asked him, “Why do you Jews insist on Palestine when there are so many undeveloped countries you could settle in more conveniently?”

Weizmann answered: “That is like my asking you why you drove twenty miles to visit your mother last Sunday when there are so many old ladies living on your street?”

Wiezmann said, ‘Mr. Balfour, if you were offered Paris instead of London, would you take it?’ … He looked surprised. He said: ‘But London is our own!’ Weizmann said, ‘Jerusalem was our own when London was a marsh.’ He said, ‘That’s true.'”

Dr. Chaim Weizmann, one of the great founders of the State of Israel

Having been to Israel 20 times in my life, there is something special not just because it is a Jewish state and the only place that I am in the majority.  Being in Jerusalem and standing at the Kotel is a direct connection to King Solomon.  It’s a direct connection to the ‘holy of holies.’  To 5,000+ years of Jewish history.  

Being at the Kotel is always such a special feeling

Going to Hebron and visiting the graves of Abraham, Jacob, Sarah, and Leah is a special feeling. (Isaac and Rebeca are also buried there but they are on the Palestinian side so Jews can only go there 10 days a year).  I’ll never forget sitting between the graves of Abraham and Sarah as my friend Harry Rothenberg led us in a discussion focused on the text where Sarah was told by God that she would get pregnant when she was 90 years old, and she laughed.  We explored not just the story but the love story of Abraham and Sarah.  It was incredibly powerful to do this between their graves. It’s something I will never forget.

We also learned that one of times when all of the Tomb of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs is open to Jews, Christians and non-muslims is during the Shabbat of Chayei Sarah. This is when Sarah dies and is buried in Hebron. There are 40,000-50,000 people who come to spend Shabbat outside the Tomb. They bring in catered meals, tents, and it’s a huge party. Watching the videos of the celebration put this on my bucket list.

In Hebron, the oldest complete building still used for it’s original purpose in the world. Inside are the caves (graves) of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs.

Below is the cave with the grave of Abraham, the patriarch.

Across from the cave of Abraham is the cave of Sarah our matriarch, where Abraham buried her himself.

The grave of Jacob, our patriarch. He wrestled with the angel and got the name Israel. It’s unbelievable to be at his grave.

The grave of Leah, our matriarch. Rachel was buried on the road (her grave is in what is now Bethlehem) while Isaac and Rebecca are on the side controlled by the Palestinians and are only accessible 10 days a year to Jews.

I’ve been the Tomb of Joseph, not too far from Nablus.  There is something unique and special being there, knowing his story and how integral he was to the Jewish people.  It’s hard to explain the feeling of connection, of thousands of years of history, and of peoplehood that occurred for me there. 

The tomb of Joseph in Nablus. When I was there it was packed with Jews praying over his grave.

Being in the Jordan River is another unique experience.  This is where our people crossed over to enter the land of Canaan after leaving Egypt.  The history and connection is amazing.  It was smaller than I expected and reminded me of the Ichetucknee River outside of Gainesville, Florida, that I used to go tubing down in the summer.  I had imagined this powerful river that was both wide and deep.  It’s the same river my ancestors crossed thousands of years ago as they entered ‘the land of milk and honey’ for the first time.

Rafting down the Jordan River is always fun – on one trip we went with a group of Muslim women who were fully clothed while we were in bathing suits. They started a splash fight with us and we had so much fun with them. 

As you drive through Israel you see the field where David slew Goliath.  In Tzfat you see the fields where Lecha Dodi was inspired, the mikvah of the Ari, various ancient synagogues.  In Akko the excavated buildings from the crusades exist.  You can see the Dead Sea Scrolls.  It’s a land filled with rich Jewish history everywhere that you turn.  That’s what Herzl didn’t understand but was smart enough to listen the First Zionist Congress.  It’s why the modern State of Israel is home to all of us.  It’s not just a country of Jewish self-determination.  It is our historic homeland, our past, present, and future.  It is tied to our souls as anybody who has visited there, Jewish or not, will attest.  I’m grateful that Herzl listened to the delegates at the First Zionist Conference and wouldn’t accept just anywhere.  Israel is my mother that I travel 6,500 miles to visit and it’s worth it every time. 

Looking out on the fields in Tzfat. This is what inspired L’cha Dodi and where they would walk out to meet the Shabbat Bride each Friday night.

Looking down at the Mikvah of the Ari from the 1500s. It’s inside the building. He used in the 1500s and I used in in 2021 and 2022. That’s the power of Israel for Jews.

The actual Mikvah itself. The Ari used it in the 1500s, stepping into the same pool (not the same water) as I did in 2021 and 2022.

The second piece of information that I found fascinating goes back to 1993.  During the Knesset debate over the Oslo Accords in September 1993, then Foreign Minister Shimon Peres warned that “There are in Gaza this year between 750,000 and 800,000 inhabitants. Within 20 years, there will be almost 2 million residents in the Gaza Strip. The population density leads to violence, the poverty leads to terrorism.” If you read his full remarks, it is fascinating to apply them to today. 

I met Shimon Peres more than 20 years (and 70 pounds!) ago. A truly special man and leader.

As Israel continues to respond to the horror of October 7th, there are more than 2 million people in Gaza.  Life there has led to violence and terrorism.  Hamas, UNWRA, and the UN have contributed to these problems.  At a JNF lunch event today, Ambassador Michael Oren told us that Israel is figuring out how many of the terrorists on October 7th were taught at an UNWRA school.  I’m afraid to see how high that number will be.  UNWRA ignored or allowed the strategic headquarters of Hamas to be built in tunnels under the UNWRA headquarters.  The textbooks are filled with antisemitism.  Even children’s programming is targeted to hate and kill Jews.  The Hamas version of Sesame Street, Tomorrow’s Pioneers, is focused on murdering Jews.  This clip blames the Jews for a character cheating in school.  Shimon Peres was right about the growth in Gaza and what the consequences would be.  October 7th proved him right.  The question is how do we move forward from here?

The textbooks provided by UNRWA to the Palestinian/Gazan children are filled with antisemitism and Jew hatred. 

In the same warning, Peres stated, “Neither do I propose that we talk of economic cooperation. Why? Because the Arabs believe that the State of Israel wants to dominate the region. We do not want to do the Arabs any favors. I am not even suggesting economic cooperation with the Arabs. All I am telling the Arabs is this: There are problems that will remain unresolved unless we tackle them jointly. We should make a joint effort only when problems are insolvable without such a joint effort.”

Was this Peres foreshadowing the Abraham Accords?  The threat of Iran brought Arab countries together to recognize Israel, forever changing the dynamic.  The Iranian problem was insolvable without a joint effort.  After October 7th, these nations did not abandon Israel.  They understand that Iran is the problem and that it’s insolvable without Israel being a part of the solution.  Could this be the basis for a new government in Gaza and perhaps the West Bank/Judea and Samaria?  Could this be the key to rebuilding Gaza and finally making it into the ‘Singapore of the Middle East’?  Could this be the basis for peace and a willingness to live together?

An incredible picture of the signing of the Abraham Accords as more muslim countries recognize and normalize relations with Israel.

I find myself looking to some of the great Israeli leaders of the past for inspiration on a regular basis.  David Ben Gurion.   Golda Meir.  Shimon Peres.  Yitzhak Rabin.  Moshe Dayan.  Menachem Begin. 

Picture of Ben Gurion reading the Declaration of Independence in Independence Hall

When I saw this statue of Ben Gurion, I had to get a picture with it. The more I learn about him, the more in awe I am of who he was and what he did.

I think of current Israeli leaders such as Ambassador Michael Oren, Ambassador Ron Dermer, and the many Consul Generals I have had the pleasure to interact with and befriend.  We are wise to listen to their insights.  Michael Oren has a substack that I now subscribe to.  Their words are treasurers. 

Michael Oren speaking in Orlando this week at a JNF event. A future blog will talk about what he said.

Talking with and listen to Michael Oren is truly incredible. A brilliant man to learn from

Two of my favorite Ben Gurion quotes are: 

“Dare, Persevere, Succeed.”

“Pioneering is refusing to accept reality as it is.”

As I look back at Herzl and at the words of Peres; as I look forward to ‘The Day After’ and the Abraham Accords, these two quotes inspire me for the future of Israel.  And they inspire me personally.  We change the world by being daring, persevering, and succeeding.  And by being pioneers and not accepting reality as it is, we have the opportunity to create a new reality.  A new dream.  “If you will it, it is no dream.  Dare, persevere, succeed.  Refusing to accept reality as it is.”  Three quotes that sum up Israel and the Jewish people.  Three belief systems that will change your life and change the world. 

The Sunday music inspiration

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

About 6 months ago I began subscribing to The Free Press.  The articles have been great and each Sunday there is a focus by Douglas Murray called, “Things Worth Remembering” that in year one focused on poetry.  I have to admit that for most of my life, poetry hasn’t been something that I really got.  Yet getting this weekly article about a specific poem that really dug into the words began to inspire me.  I went from glancing at it, to skimming it, to reading it and really enjoying it.  The Free Press announced that year two of the column will now focus on great oratory of the ages. 

I’ve also written about how behind I am with popular music.  So, as I catch up on music, I thought I’d imitate the Free Press and use Sunday as a day to be inspired by music.  Today’s song is from 2017, so I’m only 6-7 years behind the curve on this one.  It’s by Scotty McCreary and called ‘Five More Minutes”.  The words remind me of the past and inspire me for the future.

Eight years old, couple cane pole sittin’ down by the creek.  Lines in the water, watchin’ those bobbers, seein’ that red sun sink. Mama’s on the porch yellin’, “Supper’s hot! Y’all come and get it!”  We yelled, “Five more minutes.”

As a child, we played outside every day.  Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, it didn’t matter how hot or cold it was, we were outside playing.  The rules were when the streetlights came on, we had to head home.  And every day, when the lights came on, we kept playing until at least one of our mothers who open the front door and yell at us to come inside for dinner.  And just like in the song, we would groan and beg for just five more minutes.  We never really wanted just five more minutes but that was what we asked for.  As an adult, I look back on those days with such gratitude.  We had no worries.  We played all sorts of games outside with everybody in the neighborhood.  The only worry we had was watching for the streetlights to turn on.  There are many days that I wish for just five more minutes of that childhood without the pressures of life.  As my children grew up, I wanted to give them to same type of experience.  While the world had changed and technology meant they weren’t outside all afternoon like we were, I still wanted to give them the opportunity to ask for just five more minutes.  I smile when it’s dinner time and my now young adult sons will ask for just a few more minutes to finish their game before they come to eat.

The joy of childhood is precious, and we lose it far too often.  While as adults we have responsibilities beyond coming home for dinner when the streetlights turn on, we can find our own ways to do the things that bring us similar joy to we experienced in childhood.  In the times we live in, bringing some childhood joy to our lives is critical to maintain our sanity.

At sixteen, it was 12:03, standin’ at her front door.  And Katie’s dad said “Midnight,” but we needed just a little more.  Yellow light flippin’ on and off interruptin’ that good night kissin’.  We wanted five more minutes.

As a teen, it was no longer just come in for dinner when the streetlights came on.  After dinner it was going out with friends.  First it was just in the neighborhood and as we got older and could drive, it was midnight and later.   It was exciting and thrilling.  The night brought lots of opportunities, especially with dating.  I remember many times sitting in the car or at the front door with the ‘goodnight kiss’, knowing that her dad was waiting inside to make sure she got home by curfew.  And like the song, we always wanted just five more minutes.   High school was all about the five more minutes of whatever we were doing, other than school.  Dating, parties, youth group conventions, vacations – we always wanted just a little bit more. 

When I look back, I find myself thinking about how to get that extra time with the things I love.  Going to sporting events with my kids, the theater with my wife, vacations with my wife and with the family, concerts, spending holidays together, and so much more.  I remember growing up hearing about how time was the most precious commodity we have and thinking how young I was and how much future was ahead.  In my mid 50s, with 60 around the corner, I look back and appreciate the way I spent some of my time and think of the missed time that I can never get back.  I treasure the time I got to spend with my grandparents and how integral all four of them were to me into my mid-20s and early 30s.  I think of my great-grandma Rose and the time I spent with her.  I think of my parents, my siblings (including my wife’s sisters and her family), my cousins, my in-laws, and my close friends. 

As I look at the next two decades of my life, I want to focus on that extra five more minutes with the people I love and the people who matter to me.  Time truly is the most precious possession we have, and I am grateful to be at a place in my life and with my career where I don’t have to sacrifice the time because of work, finances, or ego.  I want to remember what it felt like being a teenager when I treasured every minute on a date, while being out with friends, and with everything that I did.  Somehow when building a career and raising a family, these things get lost, and it is too easy to never recover them. 

Time rolls by, the clock don’t stop. I wish I had a few more drops of the good stuff, the good times.  Ah, but they just keep on flyin’. Right on by like it ain’t nothin’.  I wish I had me a-, a pause button.  Moments like those, Lord knows I’d hit it.  And give myself five more minutes. 

As a kid, time seemed to drag on.  I remember being told that as I got older, the days would go slow and the years would go fast.  I didn’t believe it nor did I truly understand it.  I was young.  Invincible.  The future was mine and so much ahead of me.  I remember turning 30 and thinking how old I was, because I grew up in shadows of the ‘don’t trust anybody over 30’ generation.  I wanted a fast forward button, not a pause button.  Fast forward through high school so I could be independent and move away to college.  College was fun but I wanted to fast forward to building a career.  Being single was fun but I wanted to fast forward to getting married and having children.  Time was plentiful so why would I want to slow life down? 

My fraternity brothers at one of our formals. Truly the best of times that went way too fast.

My friend Aric, who is like a brother to me, and his now wife Carol Ann. We joke that if it was ‘my turn’ when we met girls that she would have been my wife instead of his. It feels like yesterday but it was more than 30 years ago.

High school. Hard to believe this was almost 40 years ago. It feels like yesterday. We lost my friend Ellen (z’l) in the Penn Sweatshirt and sunglasses last year. Time goes too fast. I’d like 5 more minutes with my friend.

How naïve we are as young people.  We think we are indestructible.  We think we will live forever.  We think nothing bad will happen.  I would love to go back and use the pause button as my grandparents’ beach cottage every summer with extended family.  I want to use the pause button on our family Thanksgiving touch football games and our family Passover whiffle ball games, especially when my grandparents would play in one way or another.  I’d use the pause button when we celebrated both sets of grandparents 50th wedding anniversaries on the same cruise and when we celebrated my parents 50th wedding anniversary on another cruise.  I’d hit the pause button on all the time I spent with my cousin Eric growing up together.  I’d pause my wedding and honeymoon.  I’d use it when my kids, Evan and Matthew, were little to get more of them as small children.  When I look at the pictures that we have of them when they were both under 6, I wonder where the time went and how it went so quickly. 

Family picture on my parents 50th anniversary cruise

My parents and their grandchildren as we celebrated their 50th anniversary.

The family in Curacao at the oldest synagogue in the western hemisphere. We had so much fun together celebrating my parents.

My cousin Eric and me at ‘the cottage’ cooking breakfast. We had amazing times together and at the cottage before his early passing. We had life plans that never happened.

While we don’t have a real life pause button, we do have the ability to treasure every moment and not miss them.  I think of driving Evan to Tennessee to start graduate school and his college football coaching career and how I treasured every minute of the drive, moving him in, and shopping for the things he needed.  I think of the times I went on college recruiting trips with Evan and when I took Matthew to visit and explore potential colleges.  Going to theater with my wife and Matthew, sporting events with Evan and Matthew, and our special fantasy baseball ‘Get Together’ weekends with our ICBL brothers each year and smile as the memories are vivid and I enjoyed every minute.  Recently I attended my friend Jeremy’s wedding and had the honor of officiating their marriage.  Every minute of the time we all spent together was special and treasured.  We have the ability to step back, slow down, and appreciate the gifts we have in our life.  Too often, we look back and realize ‘we missed it’.  I made the decision when my dad died that I wasn’t going to miss anything any longer.  It was the experience that taught me the importance of time and how to treasure it.  To live life as if there was a pause button so I appreciate all the moments.

Jeremy and me before the wedding. A memory I will never forget.

Evan, Matthew and me on the field before the game at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium during a recruiting vist to UF.

Alison, Matthew, Carla, and me at the Orlando Ballet’s performance of the Nutcracker. These are highlights we take advantage of while we can.

At eighteen, turned my helmet in and walked to the fifty-yard line.  Just the coach and me after we lost eighteen to nine.  And I cried, “Man, next time to get in here, I’ll have to buy a ticket.  Can’t you give me five more minutes?”

My oldest son Evan played high school football and started all four years.  We went to football camps together his last two years of high school.  As a family, we didn’t miss games and the opportunity to watch him play.  I’ll never forget his last high school football game as we walked the field arm in arm, as he was honored on senior night.  I’ll never forget the look on his face after the game, a big win, and the connection he had with his coach.  I remember the feeling I had at that moment, knowing I would never watch him play high school football again and that not only was his life changing, but mine was as well.  We stayed on the field after the game for a long time to soak up every minute we could.  And I remember thinking as we walked off the field how I wish I could have had just a little more time, just five more minutes, of that experience as it ended forever.  When he told me that he had decided not to continue playing college football and instead wanted to start his coaching career early, while he was in college, I was devastated.  He was fine with his decision and didn’t regret ending one stage and moving onto the next step in his career.  I wasn’t ready.  I was looking forward to watching him play, to celebrating his achievements, and struggled with the way it was changing my life.  I was still able to watch him coach at UCF and then in high school and with the semi-pro Orlando law enforcement/first responders’ team.  It was still an awesome experience, but a very different one.  As he started his professional career coaching college football, it was an incredible experience watching him coach. 

Evan and Coach Carter sharing emotion after his final high school game. 

Evan and Coach Carter. A great mentor

Evan tackling as a freshman. His first tackle ever was NBA star Dejounte Murray.

Family picture on the field after his freshman season

Evan played in the band at halftime 3 of his 4 years of varsity football. This was a classic – we need more cowbell! Matthew is in the back as they played in the band together.

Evan in uniform at UCF

Evan in the locker room before the game

Evan with his conference championship ring. A forever treasure.

Evan snapping in practice. He was a great long snapper.

Evan with the UCF conference championship trophy. What a memory
Evan as the head coach of the Orlando Guardians of the National Public Safety Football League. They played teams like FDNY and the Chicago Fire Department. 

Watching Matthew, my younger son, graduate high school was another seminal moment.  I would now only have kids in college.  Attending his graduation, Magna Cum Laude, from Seminole State, was an incredible experience. When he graduates UCF in another year, I will no longer have any kids in college.  It’s another major life transition and when he moves out of the house as well, I know I will want 5 more minutes of kids living in my house.  It’s another reminder of how precious time is and how important it is not to waste the time we have.

Matthew graduation night – he graduated Magna Cum Laude, truly impressive. 

I was invited to the White House Hanukkah party in 2022. Matthew came with me and we had a great time. Another special moment we will both remember forever.

At eighty-six, my grandpa said, “There’s angels in the room.”  All the family gathered ‘round, knew the time was comin’ soon.  With so much left to say I prayed, “Lord, I ain’t finished.  Just give us five more minutes.”

My dad died on September 6, 2022.  I had gotten him moved to Advent Health about three weeks prior and my mom moved in with us while he was in the hospital.  I visited him every day while he was in the hospital and got to spend quality time with my mom every morning and evening.  Those three weeks are precious to me, both for the time I spent with my dad and the time I spent with my mom.  When I think of them, I tear up, because they were some of the most meaningful days of my life.  I look back at some of the pictures from those three weeks and smile with a mixture of happiness and sadness.  My dad eating real food I had delivered when he got out of ICU into a private room – I can still hear him talking about how good it was because the hospital food was so bad.  The picture of him and my mom walking hand in hand in the hospital hallway.  They were married for 56 years and together for 65+.  The last picture I took of my dad, lying in his bed, with a sweet smile on his face.  I remember kissing him goodnight, telling him I loved him and would see him in the morning.  My mom got the call from the hospital around 1:30 am that morning that he had died.  We went to the hospital together and sat with him, just the three of us, while we waited until it was not too early to call my brother and my sister as well as my Aunt Sheila, his sister.  Writing about it brings tears to my eyes once again.

When I look at this picture, I can hear my dad’s voice talking about how good the food was and how much he enjoyed it. I’m forever grateful for the opportunity I had the last 3 weeks of his life.

My mom and dad walking the hospital hallway. So many special moments during those 3 weeks that I will treasure forever.

The last picture I took of my dad. He looked so sweet and peaceful. I gave him a kiss, told him I loved him and that I’d see him the next morning. He died a few hours later. Every time I look at this picture it brings tears to my eyes. How I wish I could have 5 more minutes.

As we sat in the room with him after he had died, I remember wishing I just had one more chance to talk with him, to tell him again how much I loved him, to be able to ask his advice and hear his wisdom and knowing that would never be possible.  I wanted those five more minutes.  I have no regrets with my dad, I just wanted more.  I wanted those five more minutes.  And today, there are plenty of times when I want to pick up the phone and call him, talk for five minutes, and pick his brain and get his advice.  Once again, it’s an example of the precious nature of time. 

I choose to invest my time with my family.  With my sons, my wife, my mom, siblings and siblings-in-law.  I want to do my part to ensure that when the time comes, my children have no regrets.  They don’t wish they had just done something more with me.  They don’t regret missing out spending time together. 

Celebrating my mom’s birthday with the family. I don’t miss these opportunities.

The family celebrating Alison’s 50th birthday

Dancing with my mom at a family Bar Mitzvah. 

I think of the lost time with my family members who died too young.  My Uncle Joe. My cousins Eric and Todd.  I think of the time missed with my friends who have died in the past few years and how they won’t be around any longer.  I always think of my dad, who died in September 2022, and who I miss daily.  We have no guarantees in life, and we get to choose our priorities.  I’ve reached a place in my life where my priorities have shifted.  It’s far more rewarding to do what I can to minimize the impact of wanting those five more minutes at the end. 

Yeah, sometimes this ol’ life will leave you wishin’.  That you had five more minutes.  Five more minutes. 

Priorities are the key.  We live in a culture that values money, status, and titles.  We often sacrifice things like time with family and friends in our effort to make money, obtain a better title, or because our identity is tied to our job.  In the end, like the song says, those priorities “will leave you wishin’ that you had five more minutes.”  Our society puts pressure on us to meet their priorities.  Over the past 18 months, since my dad got sick and then died, I have been reviewing my priorities.  Asking myself what is really important.  What do I really value?  It’s been a complete reset in many areas.

October 7th only highlighted this even more.  I have seen the 47-minute Hamas video and it’s horrifying.  I have four friends who had family members taken hostage.  Of the 6 hostages, 4 have been released.  There are still 2 held by Hamas, now for 126 days.  I have friends who lost family members at the music festival.  Friends who lost family serving in the IDF.  Friends who are serving or have children currently serving in the IDF, worried every day about their safety.  I wear my dogtags every day.  My Magen David (star of David) every day.  I put a new piece of masking tape on my shirt, over my heart, every day, updating the number of days the hostages have been kept. 

Besides being a great song, Five More Minutes teaches an important lesson.  It reminds us that in the end, all we really want is more time.  No matter how much money we may have, no matter how much power and influence we may have, no matter what our titles are or what we have accomplished in our careers, the one thing we all want is just five more minutes. At the end of the day, we have the choice to set our priorities.  I choose to do what I can to want, but not need, those five more minutes. 

The 2 state delusion?

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

As the hostages begin day 123, the war between Israel and Hamas continues with hand to hand combat inside the tunnels, things get more heated in the north with Hezbollah, and the US-England partnership is bombing the Houthis and Syria in retribution for the 3 soldiers murdered by Iran and 40+ injured, I find myself in disbelief at the world stage and what’s going on in the United States.

Montana Tucker at the Grammy’s highlighting the hostages and urging to ‘Bring them home’. Very different than Annie Lennox asking for a cease fire that only benefits Hamas and that Hamas rejected.

Calls for a ceasefire continue to grow even though Hamas has publicly stated that there will be no ceasefire nor any peace as long as Israel exists.  Not as long as Israel has soldiers in Gaza, but as long as Israel exists.  Today, Hamas rejected another ceasefire offer yet the pressure remains on Israel to simply stop defending herself. Israel has basically stopped the bombing and is engaged in hand-to-hand combat in the tunnels, trying to free the hostages.  These calls for a ceasefire are unilateral for Israel, not forcing Hamas to release the hostages and surrender.  It’s as if October 7th never happened. 

The newest twist has been the call to require a 2 state solution as part of the end to hostilities.  Not only are Hamas and the Palestinian Authority (PA) committed to there being no Israel, both have no interest in a 2 state solution.  Yet the US and Europe are obsessed with this currently impossible solution.  Can you imagine if after 9/11 the US was required to have the Taliban as a new state on the northern AND southern border?  Instead of dividing Germany after WWII can you imagine allowing the Nazi’s to remain in power of a demilitarized state in the same location with evil countries feeding them weapons and bombs despite the demilitarized requirement?

It’s not that a 2-state solution is never possible.  It’s not possible now.  In 2019, when I spent time with leaders of Palestinian civil society, I was amazed when some of the brightest people around told me that if there were elections, they would probably vote for Hamas because the PA did nothing and while Hamas probably would also do nothing, there was at least a chance they might do something to benefit them.  New leadership is needed for the Palestinians.  Leadership that wants to live in peace with their neighbor Israel.  My friend Ali Abu Awwad, founder of the Taghyeer movement, focuses on Palestinian non-violence, change, and living in peace with their neighbor Israel.  He speaks openly, stating, “peace will not come through Jewish blood.  It will come from Jewish hearts.”  That’s the type of leadership needed for peace and a functional Palestinian state. 

My friend Ali Abu Awwad is the voice for the future. Click on the link above with his name and read about a new way forward through Palestinian non-violence and trust. 

Elliot Abrams wrote a beautiful and powerful article about The Two State Delusion on February 5th that should be required reading by all of our elected officials.  We cannot want peace more than the PA, Hamas, Hezbollah, and Iran do.  Until there is a modern-day Sadat and a modern day Begin, there simply isn’t a path to peace or a 2 state solution. 

Sadat and Begin – great leaders who risked everything for peace. It cost Sadat his life yet the peace holds 44 years later.

I try to imagine or find any other country that is told by their allies and the world that they don’t have the right to defend themselves.  A single country that is told they can’t keep their citizens safe.  Imagine rockets were being fired at the US from Canada and Mexico.  How long would it take for us to level the country?   Three US deaths and 40+ injured on January 28 by terrorists has resulted in the reported deaths of between174 to 225 civilians due to U.S. drone strikes in Yemen.  There is no outrage as we understand that when attacked, the accidental death of civilians occurs.  It is one of the horrors of war and why war should be a last resort, not a first action.  The terrorists of Hamas view it just the opposite.  For them, civilian deaths should be high because it helps their cause.  They do what they can to ensure that civilians are used as human shields and are put in harm’s way.  If you doubt that, ask yourself how many rocket launchers, grenades, bombs, and rifles are kept in your child’s school.  As yourself when you go to the hospital, if there are rooms there where rocket launchers, grenades, bombs, and rifles are kept.  When you go to worship, ask the religious leader to see the rocket launchers and armory they keep. 

I wear my dog tags every day.  One says “bring them home now” and the other says “we will dance again”.  Along with my Magen David (star of David), this guy who only wore an apple watch for years wears these proudly displayed outside my shirt.  I have masking tape I have begun to wear counting the days the hostages have been kept.  Today I will sadly write 123 on the masking tape and put it on my shirt.  Yesterday I wore my “I stand with Israel” sweatshirt with the blue ribbon attached for the hostages.  At the grocery store a number of people asked about my sweatshirt and commented.  No comments were negative, which surprised me. At the bank today, the teller asked me about 123 and when I told her, she shared empathy and said she’d pray for the hostages.

We are truly in a battle for our lives.  There are many in the Jewish community who want to downplay this.  They want to say it’s about Israel and Zionism or the Netanyahu government.  I spoke with my US representative yesterday and we discussed the difference between the government and some of the elected officials in Israel and compared them to members of our US government.  They are people who are held accountable to the electorate.  Just as the current US administration will be held accountable in November with elections where they job performance is evaluated by voters, so too will the Israeli government either at the end of their terms or earlier if the government falls (the difference between the US and Israel’s parliamentary system).  This is very unlike in Gaza where there have not been elections since 2007.  Or the PA where Mahmoud Abbas was elected on January 9, 2005, to serve as President of the Palestinian National Authority for a 4-year term.  He is now 19 years into his 4-year term.  Where is the outrage? 

We are seeing the world once again blame the Jews.  We are held collectively responsible for the hatred against us.  Just as 9/11 was labeled a Jewish conspiracy by many, today it’s Covid-19.  We are accused of blood libels, controlling the banks and the media.  The 2021 book by Dara Horn, People Love Dead Jews, calls back to the words of former Prime Minister Golda Meir, who famously was quoted stating, “If we have to have a choice between being dead and pitied, and being alive with a bad image, we’d rather be alive and have the bad image.” Israel gets this.  Many in the diaspora get this.  Unfortunately, we still have many, such as Peter Beinart and Norman Finkelstein, who don’t get it yet have the public stage.  And the media loves to give attention to those who hate us and want us dead.

A powerful book – they love us when we are dead

I heard Peter Beinart speak in Seattle and met him afterwards. He will excuse Jew hatred and make it our fault until we are all dead.

Norman Finkelstein is the son of Holocaust survivors and one of the worst at excusing Jew hatred and blaming Jews for everything. He is vile.

The current situation reminds me of both The Emperor’s New Clothes and something that happened when I was in High School.  We all know the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes.  When I was in High School, we had a kid in my homeroom who had many issues.  One day he stood in front of a bulletin board in the hallway with a cigarette lighter in his hand as he lit the paper on the bulletin board on fire.  When somebody asked him why he was lighting the bulletin board on fire, he looked right at them and said, “I’m not lighting the bulletin board on fire.”  The worldwide Jewish community is under attack and no matter how much we want to pretend we have beautiful clothes; we are naked.  And no matter what is said, the bulletin board is being lit on fire.  We can either wake up, speak up, speak out, and counter the lies and blood libel being spread or we can whimper away and revisit the horrors of the past.  I agree with Golda and would rather be alive.  I will continue to call out the nakedness and the bulletin board being lit on fire.  Pretending otherwise only ensures our destruction.  I hope you decide to join me.

Golda Meir understood that unless we stand up for ourselves, nobody else will.

Am Yisrael Chai.

Evil will win if Good doesn’t actively fight

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

As a Jew in the United States of America, I have been struggling since October 7th.  It is difficult to put into words and explain but I am going to try to do so in many ways and hopefully one of them will be clear enough to understand.

I grew up with my Great-Grandma Rose, my grandparents and my parents teaching me the value of helping others.  Whether it was through Tzedakah (charity), Tikkun Olam (repairing the world), doing acts of random kindness, holding the door for others, or something similar, it was a core part of our identity and what we did.  As kids, we were taught to make the world a better place when we could and as a result, the world would end up being better.  If we were there to help others and were good people, others would be there for us and we would find good people.  We were taught that part of how the Holocaust happened was because people didn’t speak up, people weren’t allies, and our job was to change that.  To speak up, to build relationships and allies, to ensure that NEVER AGAIN would really mean NEVER AGAIN.  I believed that implicitly for a very long time.

I have spoken out publicly for more than a decade about the rise of hate in general and the rise in antisemitism.  I have publicly condemned all hate against any and every community.  Hate against the LGBTQ+ and the Trans community is not acceptable and must be decried.  Hate against the African American community is not acceptable and must be decried. Hate against the Muslim community, the Asian community, the Sikh community, the Hindu, the Christian – it doesn’t matter what community, hate only breeds more hate and being silent because it’s not against your group merely ensures that your group will end up being targeted. It is why I was one of the first to sign the Central Florida Pledge, a call to action for residents of Central Florida to create a safe and inclusive community for all. The pledge asks residents to commit to treating all people with kindness and respect, especially those with whom they disagree. 

Unfortunately, for the past few years, I have been amending that statement because of the realities of the world.  When talking with my kids, I have reminded them that ‘hate isn’t ok against any group, except the Jews’ because the rise in antisemitism was being excused and other groups chose not to speak up, not to speak out, not to stand up and be counted against hate when it was against the Jewish community.  I wanted my children to remember not only their responsibilities to stand up to hate but also set proper expectations that when the hate was directed at them, they may not have the support they expected.  I hated doing this but I wanted them to be prepared for reality.

The book, “Jews Don’t Count” called this out well before October 7, 2023 happened

The October 7th happened.  The horror was unspeakable.  I sat, staring at the TV, following news from Israel, flipping channels, reading updates of Israeli newspapers, sending whatsapp messages to friends in Israel, scanning the names of those confirmed murdered and those kidnapped and taken hostage for the names of friends and family.  As I spoke to my friend Maor, the Consul General for Israel in Miami, he told me to turn it off as it was too much for the soul of anybody to keep watching.  I tried but couldn’t do it. 

I started focusing on Twitter/X and getting angry at what was being posted and arguing back.  It only made me more angry and more frustrated at the lack of information, the strong hatred, and the absolute joy people were taking in the murder and kidnapping of Jews.  I started blocking people and trying to looking only at sports related posts which used to aggravate me but now seem inconsequential. 

Celebrities started advocating for Hamas and the terrorists and against the Jews.  Susan Sarandon, Mark Ruffalo, and John Cusack became new objects of disgust and the short list of celebrities who I no longer would watch or listen to their movies/music continued to grow.  Certain members of the US Congress actively spreading hate against Jews made me shake my head and beyond being angry, got me scared about what could be ahead.  The similarities to the 1930s in German were too real.  While many have been saying this about the far right for a number of years, I was now watching it happen in real time from the far left.  I began to question being safe living in the United States as a Jew.  I began to think where I would move if I had to and when that might be.  I began to think of who would hide my family and me if it was too late to leave and I needed to hide.  When I identified who that would be, I actually asked them if they would hide my family and me if/when the time came that we needed to hide. 

Mark Ruffalo apologizing for his Jew hatred before continuing to hate Jews publicly. Celebrities like him only apologize when called out and then go back to their Jew hating ways. 

Susan Sarandon clearly not know what River and what Sea they are talking about as she advocates for the destruction of Israel. Her later apology was insincere.

John Cusack was an active antisemite on social media before being called out here. Embarrassed, he defended and apologized for his stance but continues to hate Jews and continues to say things incredibly hateful, hurtful, and antisemitic.

When I visited the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam in 1989, I imagined what it would be like to have lived there, in hiding, fearing for your life from the leaders of your country.  In late 2023 it was no longer theoretical as I began to think what it would be like living in hiding in the United States and where I would be living.  Would I be freezing in the winter?  Would I be hot in the summer?  Would I be able to live inside?  Would it be living outside? 

I came across this thought about Anne Frank today and it struck home.  For many, the line in her diary, “In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good heart.” Is inspirational.  I admit until recently it was inspiring to me.  Today I read it very differently.  There was a time that I shared her hope and optimism about people really being good at heart.  I might have even written something like that in the past decade.  Today I wonder.

Today I wonder how she felt when they loaded her on the cattle car.  Did she still have hope and belief in the goodness of people?  Had she no longer questioned it and only saw evil?  What about when they shaved her head and tattooed a number on her arm?  Was that when she no longer saw good in people?  Was it when she was starved and got sick that he lost her belief in the goodness of people?  Was it when she got typhus and began to die that she lost her belief in people being inherently good?  Was it when she finally realized that she was going to die in that concentration camp, alone, bald, starving, sick, dehumanized, that she finally came to grips with people perhaps being inherently evil instead of good?

It is frightening how easy it is to envison ourselves in this picture instead of them

The piece I read was clear that the Diary of Anne Frank is not meant to be inspirational but rather a story of horror.  It’s meant to show us the evil in people extinguishing the light in people.  It’s meant to show us that without our ACTIVE intervention, evil wins over good.  We have been reading it wrong all these years.  It’s a warning to us from a beautiful and innocent 13-year-old girl filled with hope and belief who, step by step, loses it all until she dies a horrible death.

The Diary of Anne Frank is a warning, not an inspiration. We’ve gotten it wrong for decades.

I hear that warning loud and clear.  We have many people who are good and who are fighting against evil.  Yet we have far more that are showing their inherent evil and hatred.  UNRWA and the UN and the Red Cross have been shown to be evil organizations, despite their stated goals of good.  The Red Cross still hasn’t visited the hostages, still has refused to ensure they get their needed medication.  It’s now 120 days.  UNRWA had at least a dozen employees ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE in the atrocities of October 7th who were not fired until last week.   There are at least 10% of all UNRWA employees who are part of Hamas or Islamic Jihad, terror organizations.  Estimates are that at least 1,300 of the 12,000 UNRWA employees are part of Hamas or Islamic Jihad.  The UN’s mission, “maintaining peace, advancing human rights and promoting justice, equality and development.” applies everywhere except the only Jewish state in the world, who they constantly target and refuse to defend.  As countries begin to pause funding to UNRWA, there are now cries about the impact on the people of Gaza.  Yet there is plenty of documentation that UNRWA ensures Hamas gets the aid before the people.  That UNRWA aids Hamas and the people of Gaza need to riot and storm the supply areas to get the food, water, medicine and other supplies provided to UNRWA to dispense to those in need.  The people need help, not Hamas.  And UNRWA is effectively Hamas.  Will we ever learn?

Statement by US Representative Michael McCaul, chair of the House Foreign Affairs Committee on UNRWA

Today is February 3rd.  Tomorrow my mother-in-law turns 80 and my oldest child turns 24.  At the end of the month my father would have been 80.  Would my father even recognize the world he left in September 2022?  Would he be telling me how it looks just like his parents told him the 1930s looked?  Will my oldest live to 80 as a Jew in America?  Will he be able to live in America his entire life as a Jew? 

During Covid in October 2021, when Israel was still shut down to tourists, I had the opportunity to go on a special trip.  Instead of the normal 400 people, there were 80 of us.  The country was empty.  When we went to visit to Yad Vashem, the Israeli Holocaust memorial, there were only two other people in the entire museum besides us.  It was a deeply moving experience and for the first time I identified with the middle-aged people in the pictures who were mostly murdered immediately at the death camps.  It was no longer me who was the freedom fighter.  I was no longer the leader in the Warsaw Ghetto uprising.  I was no longer the person kept alive to work in the death camps trying to survive and help others survive.  Those were my children.  I was the either the one who betrayed my people by playing the role of ‘good Jew’, excusing what was happening in order to survive another day or sent directly to the gas chambers.  It was a shocking moment for me that I had to process with the group later on.

The Hall of Names at Yad Vashem. Will our pictures one day be there? Will our stories be told to future generations and if so, what will those stories be?

In February 2024, I know who I am.  While I am not the leader of the resistance, of the Warsaw ghetto, nor the active partisans fighting in the woods, I am also not going to excuse what’s going on for another day of survival nor am I going willingly to the gas chambers.  I will speak out, I will demand change, I will not allow the growing hate to continue to grow while I sit silent or excuse it.  I see others who choose to be quiet and fly under the radar.  I see others who find excuses for October 7th and the Jew hatred that has been shown day after day since then.  I get incredibly frustrated and angry as Jews excuse evil against our community that they would never excuse against anybody else. I will not be one of them.  I will not hide, nor will I be quiet.  While I fear another Shoah may be coming to Europe and America, I will not be someone who simply believes in the goodness of people and that good will win over evil.  Good only wins over evil with a lot of help.  We are facing evil like we haven’t seen in 80 years.  I’m in the army of good, fighting that evil, with whatever I have.  I will not let evil win because I believe in good.  I will fight for good to win over evil. I hope you join me.

It’s not just what side are you on. It’s are you actively fighting evil. If you don’t actively fight evil, it will win.

We choose in our hearts and our actions if we will actively support good or evil. Failing to support good is unconsciously supporting evil.

Good has the final say but only if you use it. We can’t be silent or we waste of final say.

Choose to actively feed the good. If you don’t feed good, it won’t win.

Evil will win if we don’t fight for good. Are you going to stand up and speak out for good or let evil win?

We must remain vigilant and continue the struggle for good or evil will take control

The evil of Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthi’s and the Iranian government are currently better organizaed, better trained, better armed, sneakier and gutsier than good. What are you going to do to change that or are you going to let evil win?

Gandalf is right. It’s the small, everyday deeds that we do that will defeat evil. We each have the power to change the world. Are you going to use the power you have for good?

Love, Friendship, Mexico and the villa

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

We often talk about the treasures in our live.  The things we want and desire.  That incredible car.  The beautiful house.  That amazing vacation.  Expensive clothes.  Season tickets to the theater, our favorite sports teams, or tickets to see our favorite band  play in concert.  For a long time, that was what I was focused on.  The house and the neighborhood, the car, the vacation spot, the newest technology.  Things that could be purchased that showed the world how well I was doing.

Over the past number of years, that has changed dramatically for me.  I don’t really care about the house or the car (although I do like both my house and my car, I don’t need a newer or bigger or better one.)  And while I enjoy our season tickets to the theater, it’s going with my family that makes it so enjoyable, not just going alone.  Often I will pass up buying tickets to a game, concert, or show if my family doesn’t want to go with me because being together with them is what matters, not the show or the sporting event.

Recently, my focus has been much more on my friends and how valuable they are.  Life brings us many challenges and opportunities, and the past few months have had lots of both for me.  It’s an exciting time in my life yet also a major change that has helped me see who are the friends that really care and who are the acquaintances that somehow disappear in challenging times.  I’m grateful for the clarity and even more so for the friends who have shown up.

This past week was a true view into the power of friendship.

My longtime friend Jeremy was getting married this weekend.  He told me about his fiancé Astrid when they met, when they began dating seriously, and when he decided to marry her.  When he told me it would be a destination wedding in Puerta Vallarta and the date, I marked it on my calendar and told him I’d attend.  There was never any thought that I wouldn’t be there to celebrate with him and his new wife as they began this new journey. 

Jeremy and me at the airport in Puerto Vallarta

Last month, he asked if I would be will to be a part of the ceremony.  I was incredibly honored and immediately said yes.  I expected to be asked to do a reading, be an usher, or have some small role with the ceremony.  Two weeks ago, he and Astrid called me and asked if I wanted to know what they wanted me to do at the wedding.  I had to ask him to repeat himself because I was stunned by the request.  They wanted me to officiate their wedding!  There would be two of us, me speaking in English and the other person speaking in Spanish.  I was truly blown away by their ask and immediately accepted.

With Marlen, my co-officiant after the wedding. She is my new friend from Mexico who lives in Alaska.

We arrived in Puerto Vallarta around the same time this Thursday and met up at the airport before boarding a shuttle to the villa that everything was being held at.  This amazing, huge villa, is where we ate, slept, hung out, swam, and where the wedding was held.  A truly spectacular place.  A number of longtime friends came for the wedding, and we had a great time spending time together and catching up.  In addition, I got to meet Astrid’s friends and family and now have a whole new group of friends in Mexico. Then came the wedding on Saturday afternoon.

The villa looking up from the water

The pool

The water crashing against the rocks. A dream to sleep to and relaxing throughout the day.

The wade pool. Fun to hang out in and when the big waves come, truly amazing

The wave was huge and came crashing in – I was already videoing and managed to hold onto a rock with one hand while videoing with the other and not dropping or losing my phone!

I’ve told you it was an incredible resort, and the view was spectacular.  The pictures don’t do it justice.  On Saturday late afternoon it was spectacular.    The ceremony was entirely created by Jeremy and Astrid.  It involved the 4 elements (earth, fire, water, and air).  It included 10 crystals.  Each one of these was presented by a friend or family member with their own special words.  Then came the vows.  Jeremy and Astrid had written their own and chose to do it one at a time, going back and forth with each other.  They were real, honest, and powerful.  Finally, we got to the ring ceremony that included a red string, binding them together.   As we finished the ceremony, I was filled with love, gratitude, and an overwhelming sense of joy that these two found each other.  The ceremony was completely organic and meaningful.

Longtime friends Jim, Ananda, Anna Marie, and me just before the wedding.

Hanging with Jeremy before the wedding. Loving the linen suits!

The bride and groom dancing to the mariachi band

As the mariachi band began to play, with the sun beginning to set, as the hors d’oeuvres were served, I stood to the side and found myself reflecting on the power of community, friends, family, love, and meaning.  Their love was clear but so was the love of everybody that was there to celebrate together.  It was a group of people who were all connected through Jeremy and Astrid and yet had built relationships with each other in few days we were together.  We were friends and quickly became family.  The ceremony was incredibly meaningful, yet we found meaning in being together, playing cards, laughing, eating our meals together, sitting by the pool, in the hot tub, listening to music, and learning more about each other. 

The bride and groom dancing to the mariachi band as the sun sets

Beto, Ananda, me, Astrid, Jeremy, Peyton (Jeremy’s oldest son), Jim and Joe. Some old friends and some new ones.

My new friends who are also Astrid’s family members.

Astrid and Jeremy celebrating

In today’s world, where the divisiveness is so profound, where hate often seems to be more prevalent than love, this time together with friends reminded me of the beauty that is possible.  It was inspiring.  It filled my heart.  It gave me hope. 

The beautiful sunset after the wedding

Dinner was amazing Mexican tacos.  Not like in the US or our Mexican restaurants.  A plate filled with corn tortillas, fresh everything.  I don’t know what they put on mine; I just asked for a little of everything.  We ate and listened to a jazz band while we celebrated Astrid and Jeremy.  Then came the DJs.

The first two hours of music were mariachi and jazz.  They were wonderful.  When the first DJ took over however, we had two hours of dancing ahead of us.  We filled the dance floor, smiling and laughing.  The joy was palpable.  As we began to tire a little, we took a quick break because the next few hours the dance floor was turned into a rave.  It’s been a long time since I was at a rave.  And when I say a long time, I mean a very, very, very long time.  Yet the music was pounding, the lights were flashing, and once again the dance floor was filled with energy.  I told Jeremy that I didn’t think I could make it until 2 am when the rave was set to end – after all I am usually asleep by 10 or 11 pm at home and since this was central time, that would be me staying up until 3 am.  His response was classic.  “It’s my wedding.  You have to make it until at least 1!”  So, I promised and continued dancing, taking a few more frequent breaks to rest until at 1 am I gave both him and Astrid big hugs, and went to bed.

The next morning at breakfast, we started talking about how we needed to do this every year to celebrate their anniversary.  How we liked being together so much and the venue was so incredible, we needed to plan for next year and get it scheduled.  It was a great reminder that there is no need to wait to spend time with those you care about.  Spending time with friends and family is priceless.  So many other things can easily be replaced but time is not one of them.  Neither are the people you care about.  We are now planning for January 2025 to be all back together in Puerto Vallarta at this resort for maybe a few more days than this time.  Unless of course, one of the couples we met gets engaged and plans their wedding before then in which case we’ll all be together at their wedding and then Puerto Vallarta!

Astrid’s family put on a show for everybody. It was a beauty pagent they made up on the spot. Miss Brazil won but you can pick your own winner from the picture. It was fun to watch.

During the 5 days we spent together, we had a lot of time to talk.  A few of my friends wanted to ask me questions about the Israel-Hamas war, Israel itself, and about Hamas.  One afternoon, we sat in the hot tub as they asked questions and I answered.  It was one of the more refreshing conversations I had, not because it was filled with joy and not because it was talking about happy things.  It was refreshing because they really wanted to know.  They had real questions and followed up with more questions.  We were talking about history, not hasbara (advocacy).  One of them had been to Israel once before on a Baha’i pilgrimage so while she had experienced part of Israel, there was much she didn’t know.  In a later conversation, I was talking with another friend when I blanked on a name and filled the gap while I thought by saying ‘you know’.  She quickly corrected me and said, ‘No, I don’t know.  That’s why I am asking.’  It was a throwback to a time when it was important to learn, to understand, to inquire, to ask, and to communicate.  Not to yell.  Not to demand that everybody agree with one point of view.  It reminded me of what is possible and why conversations, outreach, friendships, communication, dialogue, and respect are so critical. 

As we prepared to leave the villa today, every one of us was sad.  Not just because we were leaving such a beautiful place but because we were leaving each other.  Emails and phone numbers were exchanged with new friends.  Plans were made with longtime friends.  We took three shuttles to downtown Puerta Vallarta where one of us was staying to extend their trip.  One group left for the airport, having earlier flights to Guadalajara.  The rest of us stored our bags in his Airbnb and headed to a local restaurant.  The food was great, the company even better, as this little restaurant pushed together a bunch of 4 tops so we could all sit together.  As we headed to the airport in multiple Ubers, we hugged, said our Thank Yous and were all filled with gratitude. 

Our incredible view from the main balcony of the villa

Our last sunset was spectacular

A panoramic view from the villa. It’s not the only reason we’ll be back.

While I’m lucky to have friends like this and am even luckier that we do the same thing with family to be together, it shouldn’t make me unique.  For some people, the family connection isn’t an option.  Community and friendship always are.  It takes effort.  It takes commitment.  It requires going out of your way often, just because a friend is in need for something.  And it’s 100% worth every bit of it.  I can’t wait to see my old and new friends again.  I can’t wait to spend time with my family this upcoming weekend to celebrate my mother-in-law’s 80th birthday.  I can’t wait to see my siblings and mom at my cousin’s daughter’s bat mitzvah in March. The joy that fills my heart when I get to do this is unexplainable.  I hope you take the opportunity to experience it. 

The bride and groom dancing is what I want to leave you with

The voices we hear

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

A number of years ago, when I lived in Gainesville FL, I was exposed to the idea of spending an hour with others learning about and talking about Jewish biblical stories.  Three of us began having lunch once a week while we talked about learned about the book of Daniel for months.  It was interesting, fascinating, fun, social, and a meaningful use of time.  Unlike my Hebrew School experience growing up, this had real value and I truly enjoyed it.  It’s something I have continued, on and off, for the past decade.  Over the last few months, I have found a wonderful partner to study and learn with, and we spend an hour each week focusing on the weekly parsha (the part of the Torah we read each week) and digging into what some of the great Jewish commentators throughout the generations had to say.  More importantly, we then talk about what we think it means to us.  Frequently, I challenge him and he pushes back.  We go back and forth sharing our thoughts, opinions, interpretations, until we come to some consensus about what it means for us in 2024.  It’s a wonderful hour each week that I both look forward to, thoroughly enjoy, and think about the rest of the week as I apply these lessons in my daily life.

As I’ve previously written about, recently I have been obsessed with country music, the lyrics and stories that are told, and what it means to me.  Similar to what I do weekly with my friend the Rabbi, many of the lyrics of these songs speak to lessons to improve my life.  And sometimes, the song will trigger something from my Jewish learning as well.  That’s what happened this weekend.

Once again, an old song was new to me.  Voices by Chris Young came out in 2008.  I discovered it in 2024.  The lyrics spoke to me in a different way after last week’s hour of conversation.  Here are some of the lyrics and some of my takeaways.

                  I hear voices.  I hear voices like

 My dad sayin’: ‘Work that job.  But don’t work your life away.”

When I hear that line, I think of my dad.  That work is important, however it is a means to an end, not the end.  That nobody is going to put ‘he worked very hard’ on your tombstone but they will talk about the type of person you and what you mean to other people.  The lessons he taught me about the place of work, values, and family.  I can’t count how many times he would talk to us about family and how important it is.  How it is everything.  My parents showed it in their actions.  Holidays were for extended family, and I have close relationships with my cousins because it wasn’t just about our immediate family.  My kids laugh because they say that sometimes they aren’t sure who we are really related to and who are such close friends that we call them Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Sister, Brother.   I have aunts and uncles that really cousins.  I have aunts and uncles who are lifelong friends of my parents.  I have brothers and sisters who aren’t related to me by blood but are family by choice.  I have nieces and nephews that are really cousins.  It doesn’t matter what the blood relationship is or isn’t, what matters is the relationship that we build.  On my birthday this past year, my niece Rylee, who is 3 years old and technically a cousin by marriage once removed (we never use that language in my family) called and sang Happy Birthday to me on my voicemail.  It was the sweetest message I have gotten in years.  I called her back to say thank you and she promptly sang it again.  It was the highlight of my day.  Nothing at work will give you that feeling.  So don’t work your life away.  Its far too short and there are far too many beautiful moments you will miss.

   My adorable ‘niece’ Rylee who sang me Happy Birthday. 

And mama tellin’ me to drop cash in the offerin’ plate on Sunday

I was taught by my grandparents and my parents from a very early age the importance of Tzedakah, giving charity to help others.  We had the blue JNF box that we always put coins in, especially on Friday night before Shabbat.  Giving of our time, talent, and treasure was something my grandparents did, my parents did, and I learned to do.   It’s something I have taught my children.  We have an obligation as human beings to help those who need it.  It’s why I fell in love with the acts of random kindness. It takes nothing to hold a door, let somebody go in front of you, wait patiently, or many other acts of kindness.  When my kids and I go out for breakfast on Christmas day (usually Waffle House because they are open), I have begun to do my special Christmas day gift tip – whatever the amount of the bill is what I also tip.  The server is working on Christmas, likely because they need the money to support their family.  I’m privileged enough to not work and to be able to go out to breakfast with my kids.  It’s a small, nice thing to do that likely makes their entire day.  Random acts of kindness can change the lives of those that we do them for.  So give a little of your time, talent, and treasure to help others.  Not only will you change their lives, you will feel so much better because you are making the world a better place, one random act of kindness at a time.

One of my favorite pieces of art by Joanne Fink. A reminder of the importance of Kindness

                 

And grandad sayin’ “You can have a few, but don’t ever cross that line.”

One of my mom’s favorite sayings has been “Pigs get fed, hogs get slaughtered.”  What she was teaching us is that there is a limit to everything before bad things happen.  Unlike the famous Gordon Gecko line from Wall Street that was a calling card to my 1980s generation, ‘Greed is good’, what my mom was teaching us is that greed is NOT good.  Greed gets you in trouble.  Excess desires take you places that you don’t really want to go.  Decisions made on greed or the desire for more than you need end up with disastrous results. 

Balance is the key to life.  We hear it all the time.  ‘I don’t have any work-life balance’.   I struggle to balance my wants with my income.  Too many people don’t set aside money for retirement, balancing the need for the future with the need for now.  What good is working hard and missing out on your children growing up, on the relationship with your spouse?  Covid stole two years of time with my parents from me, time I will never get back.  Why?  Because I worked too much and too hard to get through that time.  For what?  To lose my dad in September 2022? 

My mom, dad, Evan and me at the UCF-USF game. Treasured memories worth everything

I think more about my mom’s message now than ever before.  What do I need?  And what do I really want?  The material things that drove me to want more, more, more are meaningless.  I want more time with my kids.   More time with my family.  In the summer of 2023, we almost lost our 13 year old dog Bella.  It was a miracle she survived.  I treasure the time with her now.  Where before when she would climb on my lap and I was working I would get annoyed, now I simply set the work aside and welcome this 75 lb dog into my lap. 

Bella laying on my lap – a daily occurance that I love.

Bella loves to lay out in the yard

Our sweet little girl

So as you choose what matters to you, remember to have a few but not cross that line.  Remember that pigs get fed and hogs get slaughtered.  Remember that you have control of balance in your life unless you give it away.  And remember what is really important.  It’s always possible to make more money and get more things.  There will also be something newer, something shinier, something just a little bit better than what you have.  But you can never get back time.  Time is the ultimate treasure.

Yeah I hear voices all the time.  Turns out I’m pretty dang lucky, for all that good advice. Those hard-to-find words of wisdom, holed up here in my mind  And just when I’ve lost my way, or I’ve got too many choices, I hear voices.

I am lucky.  I hear the voices of my Great Grandma Rose, my Grandma Esther and Grandpa Si, my Grandma Evie and Grandpa Lenny.  I hear the voice of my dad the most.  And of course, my mom, who is not only the voice in my mind, but on the phone and in person.  The things they taught me and powerful and core to my life.  They continue to guide me, even though most have been gone for more than 20 years. 

Grandpa Len, Grandma Evie, me, my brother, Grandma Esther, and Grandpa Si

I have written before about how I discovered studying in chavruta (two people learning together) and how meaningful it is.  For the past 4 months or so I have been learning with Rabbi Ehrenkranz.  One of the things that I often struggle with, and we regularly discuss is when it seems that God is being ‘vindictive’ or ‘petty’ in his statements.  It’s not how I envision God and I have a hard time understanding when the text says things that I interpret that way.  Last week had another instance of this, so once again we discussed and debated.  What I came to understand is that God is like our parent.  He wants the best for us and provides guidance on how to live life.  As a parent, he sets guidelines, expectations, and provides consequences.  It’s actually not that he’s being vindictive or petty, but rather caring.  The lessons he tells us can be voices we hear as well.  A voice that tells us how to choose right over wrong.  How to behave.  What to do.  Another guide when we’ve lost our way to help us get back where we need to be.  After 15 minutes of back and forth, I found this explanation to be comforting and a different way to interpret the language.

Learning with Rabbi Ehrenkranz. It’s a fun hour every week.

Whenever I have lost my way or am overwhelmed with too many choices, it is these voices that help me.  These are the lessons that I learned from them that resonate in my mind.  I can close my eyes and see and hear the person who taught me the lesson, reminding me of it once again.  I truly am lucky to have had these special people in my life who not only taught me important lessons but continue to teach me throughout my life.

I hear voices, lke my dad sayin’ “Quit that team, and you’d be a quitter for the rest of your life.”

Commitment and dedication.  Two very important concepts that have always been a part of my family and something that we were taught growing up.  Finish what you start.  Don’t start it if you aren’t going to finish it.  Have integrity.  Behave as if your words and actions will be on the front page of the NY Times. 

Reliable and Dependable.  Two more important concepts that were ingrained in me from a young age.  If you aren’t reliable and aren’t dependable, you won’t have integrity.  If you say you are going to do something, then do it.  From 1992-1995 I worked for the Florida Department of Corrections in mental health.  I worked in two different prisons.  One was minimum security, the other closed custody (maximum security) and the home of Florida’s Death Row.  I learned there to never make a promise I couldn’t deliver on.  When I said I would do something, I did it.  I earned the respect of the inmates because I didn’t promise them things that I wouldn’t do.  I learned to be very clear about making promises and commitments. 

My parents and grandparents always told me there is a right way to do things and taught and urged me to always do it that way.  Commitment, dedication, reliability, dependability, and integrity – all incredibly important and things I believe in because of the people who’s voices I hear.

And mama tellin’ me to say a prayer, every time I lay down at night.

Prayer is something I grew up with.  We went to synagogue almost every Saturday morning.  I went to Jewish Day School for a year (it wasn’t for me).  We had Shabbat dinner with kiddush and motzi every Friday night.  I went to Jewish overnight summer camp (Both Camp Ramah in the Poconos and Camp Airy).  I knew the prayers, knew the tunes, but didn’t know what it meant.  As a result, it didn’t really have much meaning to me.  I think it was summed up best by an IDF soldier on our birthright bus many years ago.  After services on Friday night, we were talking as a group and he asked, “So you know the words?”.  We answered, ‘Yes.’  Then he asked, “and you know the melodies?”  We answered, ‘Yes.’   Then he asked, “but you don’t know what it means?”  We answered, ‘yes, we don’t.’   He said, “I don’t understand!”

In college I began to explore a meaningful way to get involved with prayer.  It wasn’t easy and took a long time to find a meaningful way to pray and what to pray for.  Should I really be asking God for things?  Would he really pay attention to my prayers, especially if I was asking for things I wanted?  Didn’t he know what was best for me?  Over the past nearly 40 years, I have learned my own way to meaningfully connect with God.  It involves prayer and meditation.  It involves my own conversations with God and connecting with nature.  It involves some traditionally Jewish things like putting on tefillin (not every day but regularly).  It’s lighting the Yahrzeit candle for my father.  Similar to the lyrics of the song, I take a minute to thank God every morning and every evening for the life I get to live. 

About 20 years ago, I began exploring spirituality with a friend of mine, Mickey Singer.  Some of you may know him as Michael A. Singer, the author of The Untethered Soul and The Surrender Experiment.  I consider Mickey my spiritual advisor as he challenges me to think differently about my relationship with God.  For the past 20 years, he has nudged and encouraged me to explore my relationship with God in a different way.  If you haven’t read his books, I highly recommend them.  He also gives a few talks a week and they are posted on the website for Temple of the Universe.

Mickey Singer, my spiritual advisor and friend.

In my weekly chavruta, we discuss prayer a lot.  God doesn’t need us to pray to him, he’s God.  So why do we do it?  What’s the point?  If he doesn’t need it, why bother?  They are interesting conversations and so much of what we discuss relates to remembering who is really in charge and what is our role and responsibility.  It ties in with what Mickey has taught and teaches me.  And just like the lyrics say, it’s important to do it regularly and consistently. 

And grandma sayin’ “if you find the one, you better treat her right.”

One of my favorite stories about my Grandma Esther happened a few years before she died.  She wanted to be a great-grandmother more than anything.  So, she started bugging me about getting married and having kids so she’d be a great-grandmother.  I told her that I didn’t have to get married to make her a great grandmother.  The look on her face was priceless and one I’ll ever forget, as she quickly replied, “I can wait.”

Grandma Esther. I keep this picture on my mantle.

Both my grandfathers and my father showed me how important this is through their actions.  Grandpa Len would get up early, go to the JCC for a swim and schvitz (steam room) and then come home to have breakfast with Grandma Evie.  Every day.  Without fail.  After Grandma Evie died, I used to go visit Grandpa Len on Sundays.  We’d go to whatever organization was having their pancake breakfast, have fun and laugh, and then go back to his house and put on football.  Most of the time we would take a little snooze (nap) during the games.  I’ll never forget one day there was a boxing match on.  He told me how much he loved watching boxing but that my grandmother didn’t like it so for their entire 55+ year marriage, he chose not to watch boxing because he’d rather be with her than watch boxing.  It’s a lesson I will never forget.

Grandpa Len and Granda Evie

Grandpa Si taught me a powerful lesson as well, one that I used to tease him about sharing with my wife.  He said that early in their marriage, he and Grandma Esther figured out a great way to resolve any arguments.  When they agreed, he got his way.  When they disagreed, she got her way.  It was a powerful lesson in the importance of being happy instead of being right.  In their 55+ year marriage, they lived by that rule.  I regularly ask myself if I’d rather be happy or be right.  I have decided that I’d always rather be happy. 

Grandpa Si was always teaching me something

My parents were married for 55 years.  But they were together for a decade before they got married.  After my dad died, his sister, my Aunt Sheila, talked about how it was always “Susie and Barry”.  There is a famous story about my parents getting engaged and their cousin said, “they can’t get married!”  When asked why, she said, “Because they are related.”  My parents were a true partnership and they talked to us about it all growing up. 

My parents wedding photo

Mom and Dad

You can see how much my mom and dad loved each other

In a world where divorce is far too common, the lyrics of the song ring true.  When you find the one, you better treat them right.

Yeah I hear voices all the time.  Sometimes I try to ignore ‘em, but I thank God for ‘em.  ‘Cause they made me who I am.

There is no doubt that I am the person I am today because of the lessons from my grandparents, my parents, some aunts and uncles (both blood and those I call aunt and uncle) and my mentors.  Understand and appreciating that is so important.  As my children are now in their 20s, I hope they listen to their voices – their grandparents, their parents, their aunts and uncles and their mentors.  We get so much wisdom from those close to us and whether we know it or not, it embeds in our brains. 

I no longer try to ignore those voices.  Perhaps its from the lessons I’ve learned from Mickey about my relationship with God.  Perhaps it’s years of learning to pray and meditate in a way that is meaningful to me.  Perhaps it’s the daily meditation and focus on gratitude for the life I get to live.  I’m not really sure about the why and it doesn’t really matter.  What matters is listening to them and their wisdom.  What matters is being teachable. 

I have written a lot about my struggles since October 7th.  I’ve tried to express it in many different ways.  I recently watched the music video of the original song “OK” by John Ondrasik, known by Five for Fighting.  He’s not Jewish however this song and video is about not just October 7th but the feelings afterwards.  It expressed what I have struggled to do.  It’s a powerful video and there is a warning in the beginning.  I suggest you watch it and leave a comment on this post about your experience. 

Watch it on YouTube – it has some graphic video from October 7th in it.

The song has become another voice I hear, helping me cope with the trauma of October 7th and everything that has followed. 

I treasure the voices I hear not just for their lessons but also for who’s voices they are.  It brings this wonderful people back to life on a regular basis.  And my life is better because of their lessons that they keep teaching me.

On the Map

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

This week I had a business meeting with filmmaker Dani Merkin in Boca.  I was introduced to him through a friend but didn’t know much about him or his work.  His newest project sounded interesting so I wanted to see if I could help.  He was in Florida for a showing of his 2016 movie, On the Map along with Israeli basketball icon, Tal Brody.  I met Tal a few times in random occasions and it was great to see him again for a few minutes during the meeting.  During the meeting with Dani, we not only discussed his new project but also talked about On the Map, a movie about the 1977 Israeli team that won the European basketball championship.  As a sports fan who is Jewish and that grew up in the 70s and early 80s, I knew the team had won the championship but didn’t know the story.  Dani graciously sent me a screener to watch the film.

Tal Brody and me

I watched the film and something happened that I did not expect.  I got incredibly emotional.  The story, from 1977, had so many links to what is happening in our world today.  In the movie, they talked openly about the Yom Kippur war of 1973, “the worst attack on the Jewish people since the Holocaust.”  Unfortunately, today we know that the worst attack on the Jewish people since the Holocaust is now October 7, 2023. 

I knew that in 1977, the USSR was persecuting the Jews who lived there.  We all knew about the Refuseniks and our Jewish hero, Anatoly (now Natan) Sharansky.  We prayed for them in synagogue.  There were marches and rallies in DC. There were local rallies.  We raised money for them.  As a 9-year-old boy, I didn’t know that they refused to play the Israeli team in the European championships because they didn’t recognize Israel’s existence.  They wouldn’t play in Israel and they wouldn’t play in Moscow.  Today, it is South Africa stripping the captaincy from the Jewish player on their cricket team because of Israel.  The International Ice Hockey Federation removed the Israeli team from its competitions until under massive pressure, they relented and just this week restored them.  Israeli and Jewish athletes are facing problems all over the world just to compete.  There are musicians who refuse to play concerts in Israel.  I have a list of actors and musicians that I won’t support, won’t watch their movies or tv shows, won’t listen to their music, because of their hatred of Israel.  Have we really made any progress since 1977?

My friend Todd Sukol and I meeting the iconic Anatoly Natan Sharanksy

In 1977, FIBA, The International Basketball Federation, pressured the Soviet Union to play the Israeli team.  After much negotiation, they agreed on the condition that the game was played in Virton, Belgium, a small out of the way town.  The arena only held about 400 fans, almost all of the Israeli fans.  It was truly a David vs. Goliath match as the powerhouse Red Army team, had won the FIBA Euro Cup Championship in 1961, 1963, 1969 and 1971.  Nobody, except the Israeli team, thought they could actually win against the Russians.  In the film, Ambassador Michael Oren talks about how just getting the game played was a win. 

Ambassador Michael Oren – he will be here in Orlando in February 2024 for the JNF event!

Today it seems like just getting people to remember the hostages held in captivity by Hamas, underground in tunnels, is a herculean effort.  As Kfir Bibas celebrated his 1st birthday as a hostage in the tunnels, the world mainly remains silent.  As Hamas announces the murder of Yossi Sharabi and Itay Svirsky, hostages in Hamas captivity, South Africa is accusing Israel of Genocide.  As Israel dropped leaflets and made phone calls to warn civilians of upcoming bombings, Hamas refused to let the civilians leave, uses human shields, turns hospitals, mosques, schools and homes into military targets, it’s Israel being accused of war crimes.  The groups who support women’s rights and speak out against sexual violence, fail to do so because they are Jewish and Israeli women.  Just as in 1977 when Israel was held to a different standard and not recognized, today it is the same. 

In 1977, there was a lot going on in the world.  As Israel was still dealing with the impact of the 1973 Yom Kippur War, the United States still dealing with the impact of Watergate, the Viet Nam war,  and the oil crisis.  Israel was dealing with the Dollar Account Affair scandal while in the United States we had the impact of Elvis dying.  Today there is a lot going on in the world.  The Ukraine-Russia war, the border crisis, the impact of Covid-19 and inflation over the past 3+ years, the Israel-Gaza war.  The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

Tal Brody, Israel’s Mr. Basketball is an amazing story.  A star player who was the first round pick of the Baltimore Bullets, he elected to move to Israel and play Israeli basketball instead.  Both David Stern (z’l) and Bill Walton, talk about how extraordinary what he did was.  It was unheard of.  When drafted by the US army, he served 2 years in Viet Nam to complete his service before returning to Israel to play.   He had decided to retire and everybody knew it.  Just before the championship game against Italy, who had won the championship 6 of the prior 10 years, his father had a heart attack and was in ICU in New Jersey.  He flew home to be with his father.  Nobody knew if he would be back in time for the championship game.  This game was why he went to play in Israel.  To bring Maccabi Tel Aviv from a team that lost in the first round to a team that could compete for championships.  And yet, days before he flew across the world to be with his father.  When his father awoke, he told him to go back.  There was nothing he could do sitting with his father but he had an important role to play for Israel and the Jewish people.  So he went to the airport to pick up his ticket to fly to the game however there was no ticket there.  Luckily, one of the managers of the airline knew who he was from watching him play and put him on the plane, without a ticket, so he was able to get back to the team 24 hours before gametime.

Just like Tal, we all have important roles to play in our life.  As parents, children, siblings, spouses, friends, mentors, bosses, and employees.  Knowing what they are and balancing them is where the challenge comes in.  Tal knew he had to be with his dad.  His dad knew that Tal needed to be with his teammates, playing for Israel and the Jewish people.  We often make mistakes when we confuse our important roles because we think we know best.  Just like Tal had his coach and teammates say go see your dad, he also had his dad to say, no go be with your teammates and play the role you need to for Israel and the Jewish people.  We have those people in our lives, and it is so critical to listen to them.  When my dad got sick, I knew I had to play the role of son first.  I had to do what I could to help my dad and support my mom before anything else.  Once I did what I could, I needed to be husband, father, brother, uncle, employee, and supervisor.  After my dad died and shiva ended, one of the hardest things for me was leaving my mother’s house to come home to mine.  My primary role as my mother’s support had changed and as difficult as it was to return to my life and my other roles, I had to do it.  Our roles are fluid, as Tal showed.  He went from the star of the team and Mr. Israeli Basketball to son to player on the team all in a week.  We do that all the time and again, like Tal, need to use our support system to help us with those transitions.

My role taking care of my dad. When my dad could finally eat non-hospital food, I ordered him this. I can still hear his voice as he enjoyed it and it still puts a smile on my face. 

My rolse as son with my mom

My role as dad. Taking my son Matthew to go watch my son Evan coach college football and the obligitory ‘dad takes college kids out to eat’ photo.

My role as mentor with Shelley Greenspan who is now the Biden Administration’s Liaison to the Jewish community. 

As a huge sports fan who grew up in the 1970’s and 1980’s, the US Olympic Hockey team of 1980 is burned into my being.  “Do you believe in miracles?   Yes!!’ is as loud in my head today as it was coming from Al Michaels through my TV set in 1980.  Mike Eruzione and Jim Craig are childhood heros.  Herb Brooks was the epitome of a coach we all wanted growing up.  Mark Johnson, Dave Silk, and Buzz Johnson were personal favorites.   Dave Christian, Ken Morrow, Mike Ramsey, Neal Broten were future NHL stars I followed throughout their careers.   44 years later, I remember their names and what they accomplished.

One of the greatest, if not the greatest, call of all time. ”Do you believe in Miracles? Yes!!” I still get chills.

As a Jew, the names that were burned into my head were not athletes.  They were Moshe Dayan, who I spoke about at my Bar Mitzvah and was a huge fan of Maccabi Tel Aviv, David Ben Gurion, Golda Meir, Menachem Begin, Anatoly Sharansky, Yitzhak Rabin, Yoni Netanyahu (the only Israeli casualty of the raid on Entebbe and Bibi’s older brother).  They were political and military leaders.  They were the founders of Israel.  Quite different.  Yet now I have new names to match the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team.  They are part of the 1977 Israeli European Champions Cup winning basketball team. 

Ralph Klein, a Holocaust survivor who was the head coach of the team.

Tal Brody, an American who gave up an NBA career to put Israel ‘on the map’.

Aulcie Perry, an American who was the last cut by the Knicks in 1977, resulting in him playing in Israel.  Aulcie, an African American man, converted to Judaism. Dani made a movie about him that I now need to see.

Jim Boatwright, an American who made the key shots in the championship game

Miki Berkovich, an Israeli with an incredibly sweet jump shot

Eric Minkin, Bob Griffin, and Lou Silver, a group of Americans committed to Israel and Israeli basketball.

Motti Oresti, Shuki Schwartz, Eyal Yaffe, Eran Arad, and Hanan Indibo, the Israeli players who were the rest of the team.

When this team won the European Cup Championship, Israel exploded in joy.  While Prime Minister Rabin resigned that same day, the country was filled with pride and joy.  We can learn from the players, coaches, and the citizens of Israel in 1977 that despite, or perhaps because of what happened on October 7, 2023, we need to be proud of being Jewish.  We have an obligation, just like the players on that team did, to show that we belong in a world that often times doesn’t want us and doesn’t think we deserve to exist. 

There are many key moments in Israeli history that I always think of.

The signing of the Declaration of Independence

The Six Day War

The 1972 Munich Olympics

Entebbe

The 1977 visit of Egyptian President Anwar Sadat to Jerusalem

The Camp David Accords

To these I now add the 1977 European Championship winning Maccabi Tel Aviv team.

Tal Brody with the championship cup

Moshe Dayan, a big fan of the team, greeting them before a game

The team photo

The 50th anniversary of the team championship

Anger, Rage, Love, Hope

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

On Sunday Jan 14, 2024, it will officially be 100 days since the violent attacks by Hamas resulting in the murder, mutilation, rape, burning, and kidnapping of Israelis.  There remain 132 people held hostage by Hamas in Gaza including infants, toddlers, children, women, and the elderly.  They have not been provided their medication in 100 days.  They have been held in underground tunnels for 100 days.  Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays have come and gone while they are being held captive.  For the past hundred days the attacks on October 7th, the murders, mutilation, rape, burning, and kidnapping of my Jewish and non-Jewish brothers and sisters just because they were in Israel has weighed heavy on me. 

I ordered a new Magen David (Star of David) from Israel that I wear.  I got two dogtags from Israel, one saying “Bring them Home Now” in English and Hebrew, the other quoting released hostage Mia Schem, taken from the Nova music festival, and her tattoo, boldly stating, “We will dance again.” I want to fly an Israeli flag at my house, however due to the rise in antisemitism and the fears of my family, I don’t. 

This rise in antisemitism has fueled my anger and rage.  Seeing what’s happening on campus and watching and listening to then President of The University of Pennsylvania, Liz Magill, then President of Harvard College, Claudine Gay, and President of MIT, Sally Kornbluth refuse to state that calls for the genocide of Jews would violate their University’s code of contact was infuriating and unbelievable. 

Watching some members of the US House of Representatives who previously stood strongly against sexual violence keep silent because the victims were Jews burns in my gut.  People shamelessly throwing around words like ‘ethnic cleansing’ and ‘genocide’ without knowing the definition or the proper application has fire in my eyes.  When South Africa has the nerve to charge Israel with genocide at the International Criminal Court my body cramped and ached with exhaustion.  Israel, and the Jewish people, are being singled out compared to every other group or nation and excluded from protection.

When Germany, of all nations, comes out with a strong statement in support of Israel, clearly stating they are not involved in genocide, it provides relief.  When Canada stands up and says that while they believe in the process of the International Criminal Court, it “does not mean we support the premise of the case brought forward by South Africa.” it is both surprising because of recent events in Canada and relief that they are doing what’s right.  When the U.K. calls these claims “unjustified’ it generates major news.  The United States has called these claims ‘unfounded’.  It took watching and listening to Dr. Tal Becker’s incredible opening statement, 30 minutes of powerful and clear statements, to truly provide me with some relief.

This is not the way I lived my life prior to October 7, 2023.  It’s not how I want to live my life today.  Yet the realities of what occurred on October 7th and what has happened since, have me struggling on a daily basis.  I was talking with a friend on Friday over coffee who saw the 47-minute Hamas video with me about the experience.  She commented on how she hasn’t been able to process it with anybody because they can’t imagine the horrors she witnessed.  And how some of the images will never leave her memory.  I feel the same way and some of the images that have deeply disturbed her are the same that deeply disturb me. 

So how do I move forward?  How do I find inspiration and hope in a world that continues to suck hope and joy out with such incredible hate.  How do I get past these feelings when I already know where I will go and who will hide me and my family if that time should ever come?  How do I come to accept that not only have I had that thought but spoken to that person who agreed to do it?  That in 2024, in the United States of America, I feel so unsafe that I need to have a secure place to hide.  That the hatred of Jews is so strong and accepted that people feel safe screaming it from the top of lungs in public settings.

I have found inspiration in three places.   The first is the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.  A true leader in times when the African American community was facing the same type of public hatred, he remained a beacon of light.  Nearly 56 years after his assassination, his words, spirit, and leadership remain powerful.  How fitting is that as I write this, it is the weekend celebrating his birth.  Dr. King has many famous quotes that are filled with inspiration.  So many inspired me.  I picked 5 that speak to me now.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

We must walk on in the days ahead with an audacious faith in the future.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

You will notice that 3 of the 5 relate to love instead of hatred.  It’s easy to be filled with hate after October 7th and the 100 days the hostages have been kept.  It’s easy to hate when the Red Cross refuses to see the hostages or get them medicine.  It’s easy to hate after watching the 47-minute Hamas video.  Yet hatred, as Dr. King states, is a burden, paralyzes, confuses, and darkens life.  As I struggle with my anger and rage, Dr. King inspires me to be better and to do better.  He reminds me that those who are sincerely ignorant and consciously stupid are dangerous and I have an obligation to continue to learn and to educate others.  And most importantly, he reminds me that I must have faith in the future and focus on love, not hate.

The second may be seen by some as controversial.  Joe Paterno was more than a football coach.  The investment he put into his players as people is legendary.  I know so many people who weren’t players who had interactions with him and his focus was always about being better people.  What type of person do you want to be?  What type of parent?  Spouse?  I have friends who played on his teams and they all talk about how he invested in them as people.  Due to the Sandusky scandal, the statue of him was removed.  Penn State fans want it back and recently I read something about it once again.  The thought came to me that were he still alive, the statue wouldn’t be something he cared about.  But the type of people he coached and how they live their lives today is something he’d care about.  One of my middle and high school friends who was on the team from 1985-1990 is a great example.  Darryl is also in coaching and has been a mentor to my son Evan.  Along with being a friend to me, he is always available to help Evan.  I have seen the way he interacts with the players he coaches and like Joe Paterno, he cares about them as people first.  As I struggle with the feelings since October 7th, I think of the lessons from Coach Paterno and how that relates.  “Success with honor” was one of key goals for Coach Paterno.  It’s also how the IDF behaves.  They have their mission however they go above and beyond to what they can to ensure civilians aren’t harmed.  Unfortunately, Hamas does everything they can to ensure that civilians are harmed.  Coach Paterno had to compete against those who cheated.  Israel has to fight against Hamas who uses hospitals, schools, mosques, and homes as military bases.  Yet neither Coach Paterno nor the IDF compromise their values even when it makes things more difficult. 

The third place I find my inspiration is from my father.  I had a very close relationship with my father and when he died in September 2022, it had a huge impact on me.  My dad always focused on what you do, not what you say.  He focused on family and how important it is.  He cared about people and was always there as a resource to anybody and everybody.  As I struggle with these feelings, I often hear my dad in my head, giving me advice and guidance.  I have wanted to go to Israel since October 7th but my family is too concerned about safety and doesn’t want me to go.  I hear my dad telling me that as much as I want to go, as much as I need to go for myself, nothing is more important than family.  I know he would tell me to do what I can from here and be grateful that I can do things from here, even if it isn’t what I would prefer to do.  As I struggle with the anger and rage, he would tell me to focus on the beauty in my life, my family, my friends, and appreciate what I have rather than be consumed with anger and hate.  Like Dr. King, my dad focused on love and light.  I miss him terribly but even now, he is helping me deal with these feelings.

My brother, my dad, and me. He was my mentor and idol and he continues to teach me every day.

Today was the Ride for Israel in town.  Some wonderful community members put it together and a large crowd showed up for motorcycle and cars driving with Israeli flags, signs, and more throughout Orlando.  For two hours we drove all around town as people honked in support.  We had a great crowd and it felt good to be together as a community in support of Israel and the Kibbutzim that were attacked on October 7th.  It was a day of love, hope, community, friendship and fun.  As I struggle with the feelings post October 7th, it’s things like this along with the inspiration from Dr. King, Joe Paterno, and my dad that get me through it. 

Leaders of the Ride for Israel. What an incredible day.

I do believe and have hope for the future.  And perhaps that hope is what will get me through these challenging days.

Inspiring art and words from Joanne Fink