The journey begins.  My son took me to the Orlando Brightline station so I could take the train to Ft. Lauderdale so I can board me El Al flight to Israel.  My bags are heavy, filled not just with my clothes but also with things to give away to my friends serving in the IDF and their fellow soldiers.  I usually bring some things to give away but this time it feels like a holy mission as they mean more than the usual knickknacks. 

When I go to Israel I tend to write a lot, often daily.  So, I hope you bear with me as I chronicle this trip.  It already feels different.  My family really doesn’t want me to go but they could only delay this trip for so long.  Israel is in my entire being.  It isn’t just my heart and soul but it is core to my identity.  This is my 21^st trip but is very different than any before.  I came during the start of the first intifada and again during the second intifada when few Jews were traveling to Israel.  It broke my heart every time somebody thanked me for being Jewish and coming to Israel because all they had seen were Christians on a pilgrimage.  I was here when Jordanians were massing on the border and we could hear gunfire from our hotel room on their side of the border, not knowing they were going to breach the border.  I came during Covid, before the country even was open.  We got special permission and were limited to one of three flights.  We had to have been vaccinated and boosted, get a Covid test before we left, two when we arrived plus a blood test.  We were forced to quarantine for a day until the results came back. 

As you can tell, I’ve been here under a variety of circumstances.  Yet none is like this.  It is not because it is an active war zone.  It is not because there are still three active fronts (Hamas in Gaza, Hezbollah in the north, and the Houthis).  It is not because this is a solidarity mission, as I have been to Israel for that in the past.  This trip is about healing the rip in my soul that happened on October 7, 2023.  Similar to the Harry Potter story when Voldemort ripped his soul into many parts, mine was torn and damaged as I watched the horrifying events unfold on television.  The frantic texting and WhatsApp messages to my friends and family throughout Israel to check on how they were doing.  I remember one telling me about those dead at one of the kibbutzim near the Gaza border and I thought she was telling me about the Moshav that she and her husband lived on.  For more than an hour, I thought they were under attack and the terrorists were near their house until she corrected me.  My friends who were in the IDF reserves who didn’t respond to me because they were responding to the attack.  Were they alive?  My friends who had children in the IDF.  Were they alive?  Who did I know that might have gone to the Nova music festival?  While the initial reports were bad, they were nowhere close to as horrifying as what really happened there. 

I lived near Three Mile Island when it almost melted down. We evacuated, not knowing when or if we could go home.  On 9/11 I had a campus of Jewish students at University of Florida who were scared and unsure what was happening.  I had to let people go during the financial crash of 2008 for no fault of their own.  I had to lay off 136 employees when Covid shut down The Roth Family JCC in 2020.  I’ve dealt with crises before.  Nothing prepared me for the internal impact of October 7^th.  This trip is entirely about that.  It is a healing journey for me. 

When I arrive, Yom HaZikaron, Israel’s Memorial Day will begin.  This is the third time I will be there for it and both were incredibly impactful.  This one will be very different.  The next day is Yom Ha’atzmaut, Israel’s Independence Day.  I have also celebrated two of these in Israel.  It’s usually a joyous day, filled with celebrations, parties, fireworks, barbecues, and a parade of boats and planes on the beach in Tel Aviv.  It’s one of my favorite days of the year when I can be in Israel for it.  This year will be very different.  We will go to the south, to a Kibbutz that was attacked on October 7^th.  Visit the Nova music festival site.  Go back to Sderot, a place I have been many times but looks nothing like it did prior to October 7^th.  I will spend a few days with two friends who are IDF reserve officers.  One spent the first four months in a high-ranking role in Gaza, the other spent the same time in a high-ranking role in the north.  My visit to the Kotel (Western Wall of the Temple) will be unlike any before.  We will volunteer on a farm, picking fruit and vegetables.  That is one of the things people have either forgotten or don’t know.  The people who worked in the fields were largely either Thai or Palestinian.  Since October 7, the King of Thailand won’t allow any workers to come to Israel and Israel has not been able to allow the Palestinians to come to work in the fields for security reasons.  Volunteers have been ensuring produce is harvested and food is available.  Imagine taking a day off from your work to go into the fields and pick produce that will help feed the entire country.  Not once.  Not twice.  It is now seven months. 

One thing will be the same.  When I walk out of the airport, that first breath of air will be sweet.  The sound of Hebrew spoken everywhere will warm my heart.  When I get to Tel Aviv tonight, I will go for a walk on the beach, feel the sand in my toes and see and smell the Mediterranean Sea.  I will dip my feet in the water and realize that I am home.  In a few days when we pull into Jerusalem, the city of Gold, I will see the breathtaking view as we drive in and be captivated.  When I go into the old city of Jerusalem, I will be overwhelmed with a closeness to God that I will work to keep with me when I am not there. 

I’ll miss going to the north, where it is not safe due to the Hezbollah rockets that land daily.  I’ll miss going to Tzfat, one of my favorite cities for its mysticism and beauty, because it is too close to the north.  I’ll miss being on the top of Masada and at the Dead Sea because that’s not what this trip is about.  I’ll miss the opportunity to go to Hebron and visit the tomb of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs due to security issues.  Those are all things I can do on a future trip.  There will be future trips.  Israel will win this war and survive.  That is what the media doesn’t communicate.  Israel is fighting for her survival.  And as Golda Meir said, our secret weapon is that we have no place else to go.