Tag: tim-mcgraw

Humble and Kind with a side of Meatloaf

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

This week is another Tim McGraw song.  This one, “Humble and Kind”, is from 2016, once again highlighting how far behind I am in discovering country music legends.  I chose this for many reasons, as you will see below.  If you want to watch the video, I have included it.

The lyrics begin:

You know there’s a light that glows by the front door
Don’t forget the key’s under the mat
When childhood stars shine
Always stay humble and kind

Growing up, the key was always under the mat.  At my house or at my friends’ homes.  Everybody knew it, nobody took advantage.  It was a different time.  More than just having a key under the mat, the door was always open if you needed a place to go.  Many times, I had friends who needed to get out of their house and a safe place to hang out and sleep over.  My house was that place.  My parents would often joke that they didn’t know who was staying for dinner or who was gonna be there for breakfast.  They cared only to the extent that they wanted our house to always be a safe place for our friends.

It was a great lesson growing up.  Treat everybody the same.  It doesn’t matter what their home life is like, how much money they have, what type of prestige their family may or may not have.  People are people, friends are friends.  It was one of my first lessons in kindness and has left a deep impact on me and my siblings.  It was also a lesson in humility, one that I didn’t really understand until much later in life.  My parents didn’t do this for recognition.  It wasn’t something that was publicized amongst their peers in the neighborhood.  It was private.  It was personal.  It was about taking care of the kids, our friends, and making sure they had what they needed.  It was truly them being humble and kind.  It is why my childhood friends all have such strong respect and love for my parents to this day.


Go to church ’cause your mamma says to
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won’t be wasted time
Always stay humble and kind

This verse highlights three very important things.  First, listen to your parents.  When I reached my teens, all of a sudden I was brilliant and knew everything.  My parents knew nothing.  Listening to their guidance became optional for me and they had to force me to listen with threats of being grounded, losing access to a car, money, or the ability to go and do the things I wanted to do.  So, in this little, throw-away addition to the first line, the lesson is provided.   Listen to your parents.  They may seem old, boring, and not up to date with what’s happening in the world today.  And they may be.  But they also have the wisdom of life’s experiences and can help you avoid many pitfalls.  I often ask myself what my parents would say to me and when I am not sure, I call my mom for her guidance.  I always wish I could still call my dad.

Charles Barkely, one of my favorite commentators on life, puts his own spin on this

The second lesson is the importance of spirituality in our lives.  It doesn’t matter if you prefer church, synagogue, the mosque, temple, nature, the beach, or anything else.  Finding spirituality in your life provides a grounding base for life.  Life is filled with ups and downs, risks, and consequences.  Having that spiritual base provides comfort.  It opens the door to supportive relationships with others on that spiritual journey.  As we go on the journey of life, having a spiritual base anchors us, and provides us stability.  So, listen to your mamma, go to church (or synagogue or the mosque or the temple or experience nature or the beach), and build a spiritual base.  As you get older you can pick your own spiritual journey if the one you started on with your family doesn’t resonate. 

Finally, visit grandpa.  It’s not just grandpa.  It is grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, and all your relatives.  The time spent with family isn’t wasted time.  As I think of my childhood, growing up spending significant time with all four of my grandparents, my great grandmother Rose, my aunts and uncles, and my cousins, I am so grateful for it.  I think of going with my grandpa Si to visit his father, my ‘Poppy’.  Poppy was already in his 90s when I remember him.  He didn’t move well, he didn’t speak much.  We would go over to see him, for my grandpa to give him a shave, and for me to sit on his lap as his great grandson.  I remember the day he died and how sad I was to not be able to see him any longer.  I was only six years old and when I talk about him with my brother, who is three years younger than me, he doesn’t even remember visiting him. 

With my Grandpa Si. I have great pictures and memories with all my grandparents.

I think of the many lessons all of my grandparents taught me.  Their love, guidance and support is something that I treasure.  I watched my parents with my children emulate them.  I watched the way my in-laws interact as their parents did with my wife and her sisters.  It becomes a generational connection with the lessons of family, love, respect, honor, humility, and kindness being transmitted from one generation to another.  I look forward to the day when I become a grandfather and have that opportunity to fulfill that role.  I know that my great-grandparents, my grandparents, and my parents will be on my shoulders guiding me, helping to ensure that my grandchildren are also humble and kind people as they grow up and enter the world.

My sister called me today to talk about our Grandma Esther, who died more than 25 years ago. That’s a true legacy.


Hold the door, say “please”, say “thank you”
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb
But always stay humble and kind

My Grandma Ev and my mom, her daughter, were always on us about manners.  Holding the door.  Saying please and thank you.  Writing thank you notes.  Helping to clean up after meals.  If we ever referred to my mom as ‘she’, we were told that is the cat (we never had a cat) and were to use proper names.  I can still hear them saying, “What’s the magic word?” (the answer is please),   I remember in middle school when we took home economics, the issue of manners was an easy one for me because it was drilled into me at home.  It’s something that I have endeavored to do with my children as well.  It doesn’t take much to have manners, just some effort.

Grandpa Len, Grandma Ev, Grandma Esther and Grandpa Si. That’s me with the big grin. I’m so lucky to have had the relationship with them that I did.

The other lesson this part of the song highlights for me is to have morals and ethics.  My grandparents would emphasize this all the time.  Who you are when nobody is looking is who you are.  What you do when nobody sees is what shows your morals, values, and ethics.  If you want to be a good person, then you do it all the time, not just when people are watching.   The future is unlimited, and we were taught not to take shortcuts to get there.  No stealing, cheating, or lying.  We learned early on that we got in much more trouble for lying than telling the truth.  I remember getting caught cheating on a test in high school and getting in much more trouble for that than failing the exam and getting a bad grade that marking period.   As kids, when we would take something from a store without paying, we were made to not just return it but to apologize to the store owner.  Raising my children, I have done the same thing and shared the same messages.  I’m proud of the people my sons are.  How they live their lives and live their values.   And I know my grandparents are looking down and smiling, knowing it was their influence.

We have bright and exciting futures ahead of us, no matter where we are in life.  It’s important to remember that throughout the journey we must remain humble and kind.

When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride
But always stay humble and kind

As I just wrote, we have bright and exciting futures.  In the words of Theodore Herzl, “If you will it, it is no dream.”  So, the dreams we have require work to realize.  My grandparents and parents always taught me that.  The effort was more important than the results since the only thing we can control is our own effort.  When I got an A but didn’t study, it didn’t impress my parents.  If I worked really hard and ended up with a B, they were incredibly proud.  The same was true in sports.  Working hard to improve was more important than being the star.  It’s the work you put in that means everything.  It also may result in achieving your dreams.

The full Theodore Herzl Quote

I remember my first semester in grad school, I got 2 A’s and 2 B’s.  My advisor called me to his office and told me that serious graduate students didn’t get B’s.   I took that to heart and for the rest of that degree, I worked harder and got all A’s.  It was the effort that mattered.

This lyric reminds us of that.  We can be proud of our results.  Graduating high school, college, graduate school, law school, medical school, or building a successful business are all wonderful achievements.  The important part is the work we put in.  So go ahead and feel the pride of the accomplishment but more importantly, recognize the effort that went into achieving the goal.  That’s what really matters.  So don’t be full our ourselves for the accomplishment.  Instead, be humble and kind, because it’s the effort that really matters, not the accomplishment.  Celebrate the effort, appreciate the gift of the accomplishment.


Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why
Bitterness keeps you from flyin’
Always stay humble and kind

I love how these lyrics build off each other.  Just as I finish writing about how it’s the effort that matters, not the outcome, the song emphasizes this with stating there is no free ride.  Nobody gives you anything, it’s all earned.  So if you are going to have to earn what you get, don’t hold grudges or live with a chip on your shoulder.  Living with bitterness only diminishes ourselves.  It doesn’t hurt the other person.  It’s like being angry at somebody and punching yourself in the face.  They don’t feel a thing, but we sure do. 

If our goal in life is to enjoy every minute, why would we want to limit ourself because of other people?  Why would we want to let other people rent space in our heads without paying for it?  That’s why the song reminds us to stay humble and kind.  By doing that, we aren’t letting somebody else control our lives.  We aren’t giving our power away to somebody we don’t even like.  It’s an important life lesson for happiness.  Often we think that our ego will make us feel good when in reality, it’s being humble and kind, focusing on our own part and not worrying about other people’s behavior.


Know the difference between sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
“I love you” ain’t no pick-up line
So always stay humble and kind

‘”I love you” ain’t no pick-up line’ is such a powerful statement.   In today’s world, love becomes a word that is thrown around too often and recklessly.  It was the key word to use when you were trying to sleep with somebody.  Telling them you loved them was the key statement.  If you were able to throw that out there, sex was the likely outcome.  But then you were stuck with the impact of your words.

It reminds me of one of my favorite songs, Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf. 

How often do I get to use a song as I analyze the lyrics of another song?  In Paradise, the end of the song is the perfect example of this.

I couldn’t take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother’s grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
So now I’m praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
‘Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don’t think that I can really survive
I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I’m praying for the end of time
It’s all that I can do
Praying for the end of time,
So I can end my time with you!

The risk of throwing the phrase ‘I love you’ out there recklessly is that if you have morals and ethics, you get stuck.  Meatloaf said it to get what he wanted and now is ‘praying for the end of time.”  Our desires to sleep with someone instead of sleeping with someone you love can be compared to many of our choices where we go against our morals, ethics, and values.   When we stick to them, when we remain humble and kind, we don’t have to worry about praying for the end of time.  Kindness and humility doesn’t just help others, it helps us.


When it’s hot, eat a root beer popsicle
Shut off the AC and roll the windows down
Let that summer sun shine
Always stay humble and kind

As the song begins to conclude, the lyrics get more general about life itself  Appreciate what we have when we have it.  When its hot, have something cool.  Enjoy the moment.  Don’t worry about what we don’t have, focus on what we have.  Grab the opportunity with two hands and enjoy every moment of it.

I remember growing up and spending summers at my grandparents’ house.  The ice cream (or Good Humor as my grandfather would say) man would come every day and getting that popsicle or ice cream on a hot afternoon was everything.  It was simple.  It was delicious.  It was special.  Asking for that dime (and then quarter as I got older, and prices went up) was a big deal.  Running after the truck, catching it, and walking away satisfied made the entire day.  It’s hard to believe today, but AC wasn’t a given back then.  Fans would be moving the air, windows would be open, and we would wear shorts and t-shirts.  TV was only on at night, starting with the news.  That summer sun shone and we took advantage of it and enjoyed every moment.

It’s a life lesson for today.  Forget about video games, screens, monitors, and staying inside.  Sit outside and read a book.  Go for a walk.  Play outside with friends.  Go for a swim.  Be with other people in person.  Don’t use zoom or facetime or internet and headphones with a video game.  Be in person.  Interact with other people.  Pay attention to their nonverbal communication because you are really ‘with’ them, not just in the same place virtually. 

Be humble about the toys and the technology.  Be kind with your time.  There is nothing like being together in person with people.  Don’t ever forget that.


Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you’re going don’t forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind

The closes with an important reminder.  Don’t take things for granted.  Don’t expect there will always be time to say what you want to people.  To get together with people.  Don’t take for granted the people who love you and who go out of their way to help in any way they can. 

When you reach new status in life, don’t forget the people who were there along the way.  If you move to a nicer house, in a different neighborhood, don’t forget your friends who were there for you during the times you lived in your old house in your old neighborhood.  If your life changes to where you are now traveling to exotic places where some of your old friends can’t go, don’t leave them behind.  Make the time to be with them and enjoy every minute in the places you can both be at.  The one thing we know is that life will change.  Our circumstances will change and be different from our friends and loved ones.  The question is will we change?  Will we still talk to the people we talked to every day before things changed?  Will we judge them for the difference in status or accept and love them for who they are?  We may not notice our behavior, but they will.  And when we need them in the future, they won’t forget that we forgot them.  People are not disposable. 

The final two lines focus on three things, two of which we have repeatedly discussed and will close with.  Humble and Kind.  The other is helping others.  It often takes very little to help somebody else.  Holding a door, sharing an umbrella, giving somebody a ride, letting them use your phone.  So many little things happen every single day where we have the opportunity to lighten up somebody else’s day with a little kindness and humility.  The three go together to make the type of world we all want to live in.  Don’t shirk your responsibility.  Remember to help.  Remember to be humble.  And remember to be kind.

Live Like You are Dying

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I am the first to admit that I am not up on the newest trends.  Whether it’s fashion, movies, language, or music, I am always late to the table.  Recently I discovered the Tim McGraw song Live Like You are Dying that was released in 2004 (only 20 years behind the times!) that of course was the #1 song on the US Country Billboard chart for 7 weeks. Like I said, I’m behind the times.

As we enter a new year, 2024, the lyrics struck me deeply as a guide for how to live my life. The song was written by Tim Nichols and Craig Wiseman who based it on family and friends who learned of illnesses (cancers), and how they often had a new perspective on life upon learning they had limited time. 

When one person asks the other what they did with this news, their answer was simple, beautiful, and powerful.  The answer is:

I went skydiving, I went Rocky Mountain climbing I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.

What an inspiration. Upon learning of a potential life ending medical condition, their decision was to invest in life.  To invest in living every moment possible.  To do the things they always wanted.  To feel the exhilaration of life.    I find myself wondering why it took the diagnosis to make the investment in life.  Why do we often wait until it is too late to do the things that we really want or that really matter?

Often times we put the things that society values in front of living.  We feel the need to work more, have more money, more things, a nicer car, a bigger house.  It often takes a major life event for us to realize our priorities are in the wrong place.  Would my life be any less if I drove a less expensive car?  Had a less expensive house?  Wore less expensive clothes or jewelry? 

In Bali I did the swing and it was incredible. I’ve been skydiving. It’s important to do the things that are fun in life.

Horseback riding on the beach in Netanya, Israel with my friend Remo. These opportunities come up for all of us and we need to remember not to miss them.

The next line in song is haunting.

Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying.

We get this chance every single day.  Do we want to be home for dinner with the family or work that extra hour or two?  Do we want to take our children to their doctor appointment, watch their sporting events, plays, recitals, and concerts or spend more time working, accumulating ‘things’. Why do we have to hope that “someday” we will get this change when we have it every single day.

The second verse talks about the person they want to be.  As I read the lyrics, it reminded me of the things that are really important to me.

I was finally the husband that most of the time I wasn’t, and I became a friend a friend would like to have.  And all of a sudden going fishin’ wasn’t such an imposition and I went three times that year I lost my dad.  Well, I finally read the Good Book, and I took a good, long, hard look at what I’d do if I could do it all again

Fishing with Evan and my nephews Nick and Caden. It was a fun day, especially because I caught all the fish! Memories are priceless.

The past 15 months have been life changing for me.  My father died in September 2022.  We had a very close relationship and the last few weeks of his life I got to be there for him on a daily basis.  The ability to do that was one I will always treasure.  His passing started a process of self-evaluation and reflection that continues today. 

When my children were little, I had the flexibility to take them to their doctor appointments and almost always did.  I didn’t miss a performance or sporting event.   As they got older and my travel requirements for work changed, I began missing some things when I was out of town however, I did my best to schedule around their appointments and events.  A friend of mine gave me wise advice when my children were little.  He said, “Every age is the best.”   As such, I wanted to fully engage with them at every age and through every phase. 

There came a 3-year period of time when work was overwhelming, and I was not able to engage this way.  I remember how I felt during that time period and how much I didn’t like it.  I remember feeling like I was not the father I wanted to be.  I was not setting the example that I wanted for my children.  I was not being the person that I wanted to be.  So, I made a change.

The past years have been filled with time invested with my family.  I have incredible memories I have with both of my children are ones that will last a lifetime.  The time visiting colleges for football recruiting with my oldest.  Friday night lights watching him play football in high school and then with UCF and coaching high school football.  The spent with my younger son at Jaguars games and theater at the Dr. Phillips Center.  Eating dinner as a family.  Holiday celebrations together.  Birthday traditions, family vacations. 

At the UFC fight – it’s become a tradition for Evan, Matthew and me to go.

Matthew and me at the 2022 White House Hanukkah Party. A memory with stories we will always remember

I had the chance to take my nephew Jacob to the Braves-Mets game in Citi Field. Time together is irreplaceable. 

On the drive to Tennesse to move Evan in to start as a GA coaching football at Tusculum College, he wanted a little detour to stop at the University of South Carolina football stadium. Worth every minute of the detour.

At my father’s funeral, my brother, sister, and I all spoke about him.  None of us talked about how much he worked.  None of us talked about the material things that we had.  It wasn’t important that we didn’t have the most expensive home, car, or clothes.  We talked about the person my dad was.  We talked about the time we spent with him.  We told stories about him and the impact he had on our lives and the lives of our friends.  I wrote in a previous blog how my dad told somebody that he wasn’t afraid of dying.  He was just sad about the things he would be missing.  I truly believe that is because when he “took a good, long, hard look at what I’d do if I could do it all again” he found little that he would do differently when it came to his family. He was ‘a friend a friend would want like to have’ and inspires me to make sure that I am as well.

Evan with my longtime friend Darryl. Darryl is a college football coach and has served as a mentor to Evan. A friend a friend would want.

The final verse of the song teaches me to do it now, not wait.  The lyrics state:

Like tomorrow was a gift and you’ve got eternity to think about what you’d do with it.
What could you do with it? What did I do with it? What would I do with it?

I decided years ago that I didn’t want to live with regret.  I never wanted to look aback on my life and regret missing out on things.  As my oldest is almost 24 and living his dream as a college football coach (graduate assistant) in Tennessee and my youngest is 21 and finishing his Junior year at UCF, I look back at time when they were young without regrets.  I took advantage of the time with them to fully immerse myself in being there.  I was cautioned by others to take advantage when they still wanted me around because the day would come when they didn’t any longer.  I’ve been blessed that they still want me around.  That we still do things and go places together.  That my oldest wants me to come to watch him coach.  That my youngest wants to go to sporting events, concerts, the theater with me.  That they both want to go on vacation with their parents. 

Evan, Matthew and me the night before he coached in the conference championship game. I wouldn’t trade the 10 hours each way with Matthew or the chance to watch Evan coach for anything.

Alison, Matthew, Carla and me at the Orlando Ballet performance of the Nutcracker. Going to the theater and the arts have become a fun thing for us.

A song that starts with a cancer diagnosis sounds depressing.  Yet this one is inspiring.  Not because the person survives – we don’t know that outcome.  But we do know that they chose to live.  They chose to take advantage of every day they have on earth with people. 

As we start 2024, I renew my commitment to living in the moment.  To not having regrets.  To set my priorities and have them in line with my values.  To live like I am dying.

I hope you do too.