Ever since October 7th, I have wanted to go back to Israel. I was supposed to go in November 2023, but the trip was cancelled, and my family was uncomfortable with me going to volunteer. Every day I would struggle with the deep desire to be in my homeland, doing my part to help. Serving in the IDF is not an option at my age and without any military background. But I can cook, clean, pick fruits and vegetables, and do whatever is needed. The needs of my family for me not to go overrode my need and desire to go. It has not been easy or comfortable, being in the US and my heart and soul in Israel.
This changes on Saturday night when my flight departs for Israel. I have the opportunity to go both for my own needs and for work related business. It is getting me there which is what I need. To be with my Israeli friends who have been serving in the IDF. To visit the kibbutzim that were attacked on October 7th, go back to Sderot, also attacked. To pay tribute at the Nova music festival site. To spend time in Hostage square in Tel Aviv.
There is a saying that ‘Leaders lead’. You take risks. You do the right thing regardless of the consequences. For me, going to Israel right now falls into that category. As a Jew, as a proud Zionist, it is my obligation to be there, to be part of my homeland, to give back, and to support my Israeli brothers and sisters. Too many leaders in our world are so afraid of the backlash of doing the right thing that they do nothing. As a result, they are merely a leader in name.
We saw that today when President Biden said, “if they go into Rafah, I’m not supplying the weapons that have been used historically to deal with Rafah, to deal with the cities — that deal with that problem.” Going into Rafah is a necessity to both rescue hostages and defeat Hamas.
This came a day after he said, “My commitment to the safety of the Jewish people, the security of Israel, and its right to exist as an independent Jewish people and Israel is ironclad, even when we disagree.”
Yesterday’s statement caused him potential electoral issues in Michigan and Minnesota and with the Progressive wing of his party. Rather than do what is right, supporting our ally, fighting against terrorism and evil, he backtracked and tried to play both sides. Yesterday he was against terrorism, hatred, and antisemitism. Today he was in favor of terrorism, hatred, and antisemitism. That’s not what leaders do.
This isn’t a partisan take. Representatives John Fetterman and Ritchie Torres are leaders. They have taken a position with our ally, in support of good over evil, against terrorism and hate. They haven’t forgotten the hostages and aren’t afraid to speak out, even when they take incredible criticism. Doing the right thing is more important than poll results.
We live in a world where our “leaders” are more concerned with being liked and tracking their approval ratings than actually leading. We see this in our Jewish community, in our local community, in our states and in the federal government. They aren’t trained properly. They aren’t mentored properly. Many don’t want it and think they know what it means and what it entails. Others want it but can’t find it. The vast majority of our leaders have not had anybody provide them with the guidance and instruction needed.
I often think back to the people who trained and mentored me. One was very hard on me. Very critical. I used to say that he was ‘crusty’ on the outside and ‘gooey’ on the inside. You had to deal with the crusty exterior to get to the gooey interior. He wouldn’t take excuses from me. He wouldn’t accept anything but excellence. He didn’t sugarcoat anything. He told it like it is and didn’t try to soften it up to save my feelings. He made me a better professional and a better person. He would often challenge me about my own personal desires. Did I want to be excellent, or did I want to be mediocre? If I wanted to be mediocre, then he didn’t have to spend time with me. If I wanted to be excellent then I had to do things differently. I learned tremendous lessons from him.
The other mentor I think about was much softer and nicer in his presentation. He explained things and sent the message in a kinder way. He also wouldn’t take excuses. He wouldn’t let me off the hook from doing things the right way. He challenged the way I thought and the reasons behind my thought process. He laid out his expectations if he was going to invest his time and if I wasn’t willing to do what we required to meet them, he would invest his time elsewhere. He shared his own personal experiences and what went right and where things went off the tracks. He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable about the times he wasn’t successful and what he learned from those times. He would listen as I would share the things I learned from my mistakes and share in the joy of my successes.
Throughout my career, I have leaned on these lessons. Both men made a significant impact on my life. They taught me about integrity, especially as a leader. They taught me that at the end of the day, I have to live with myself, my choices, and my actions. They taught me that it’s better to do the right thing and get negative consequences than to do the wrong thing and get positive recognition. I’ll always be grateful to them for their time and their investment in me.
It is something that I strive to do for others. Just in the last week, I have had former employees reach out to say hi, send me a picture of them together, check in on me, ask for help with career changes, to work on an exciting project together, to pick my brain as they prepare for job interviews, and to just say thank you. It is incredibly gratifying to know that I am paying it forward from what these two men did for me. I look at it as an obligation that I have to make the world better by helping train leaders. I have the privilege of working with a friend to do leadership training for college students through taking them to Israel. Together we are working on a young leadership training program in Israel for February 2025. If we want better leaders, we have to take action to develop them.
I also have the privilege of working as a mentor to a younger professional who reminds me a great deal of myself when I began working with my first mentor. I get a lot of gratitude helping him grow, helping him see things differently, challenging him to be excellent instead of mediocre, just as I was challenged. It’s incredibly rewarding as I watch him grow. Each time he ‘gets it’ and understands the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’, I get a lot of joy. I can only imagine that my mentors felt the same way when I finally ‘got it’.
We live in challenging times. We need our leaders more than ever and true leaders are in short supply. It brings me back to my trip to Israel. I want to show my children what it means to be a leader. What it means to do what you think is right despite the risks. I want them to understand how important it is to do what is right no matter what. They have seen me live my values throughout the years. Doing what was needed for my dad during the last few weeks of his life. Being there for my mom during that time and afterwards. Staying true to myself and my values, morals, and ethics in spite of situations with others that it would be easy to abandon them for personal gain. Being there in DC as one of the 300,000 people there for the big rally in support of Israel.
I can’t wait to go to Israel. It’s only a few days and it feels like an eternity. I will get to see my friend Grace. My friends Margot and Tamar and their children. My friends Yaron and Yoni who are volunteering and speaking to us. I plan on going to East Jerusalem and having a long coffee and conversation with my Palestinian friend Mahmoud. I hope to see my friend Noam who lives in Boston but as it happens in the Jewish world, will be in Israel for a few days when I am there. I’m having dinner with my friend Tamara and her kids. I’ll get the personal meaning that I need in Jerusalem, at the Nova site, at hostage square, and at the Kibbutzim in the south. I’ll give back by picking fruits and vegetables and having dinner with IDF soldiers to say thank you.
I’ll lead by following my values, morals, and ethics. I’ll lead by taking the time to learn and grow. I’ll lead by spending time with friends from America on the trip, talking about our lives and the challenges we face along with the experience we are having. I’ll lead by writing about the experience and sharing it publicly to inspire others. And I’ll lead by showing my children not only what it means to be a leader but also how important it is to do it with grace. To stay true to your values, morals, and ethics. To do what’s right no matter what.
At the Passover Seder we end with “l’shana haba’ah b’yerushalayim, Next Year in Jerusalem”. I’ll end this blog by saying “Next Week in Jerusalem”.
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