Ever since October 7, 2023, I have been writing this blog very regularly. Over the past month, that has slowed to a crawl. I’m not sure if it is fatigue, frustration, anger, sadness, or some other emotion. I just know that writing has been very difficult as the Israel-Hamas-Hezbollah-Iran-Houthis war continues and the rise in antisemitism around the world and in the United States continues to grow.

I write when I am moved emotionally or intellectually. My emotions have been muted and the rise and acceptance of Jew hatred has made me wonder about the intelligence of the people in this country and the world. I wasn’t sure what to write or if I would find something that moved to me to write.

Then I read this post by Jon Polin, the father of Hersh Goldberg-Polin. The power of his words hit me deeply. The price of this war hit me deeply. Read Jon’s words and let them wash over you, sink into your soul, and see if you are not changed.

I respectfully ask that the Office of The Prime Minister of IsraelBenjamin Netanyahu – בנימין נתניהו stop claiming that “his forceful application of combined military and diplomatic pressure has so far achieved the release of 205 hostages out of a total of 255.”

This insensitive claim whitewashes the lives of the 20% of the 205 who were taken into Gaza alive, survived a period of torture, and were then killed in captivity, including my son Hersh.

In August 2024, a negotiated deal was possible to release a number of hostages, including Hersh and at least three others of the five with whom he was held (together “the Beautiful Six”). Instead of completing this deal, and despite finding a live Israeli hostage in close proximity to where the Beautiful Six would be executed just two days later, a decision was made to continue with the risky military operation in Rafah. This decision led the Beautiful Six to be executed. Ironically, the deal that could have saved them was finally completed in January 2025 under pressure from President Trump.

Please do not take credit for “achieving the release” of Hersh. This is offensive to Hersh and to our family.

As I began to write this, deeply impacted by Jon’s words, the price paid by Rachel and Jon and so many others in Israel, dealing with my own feelings about not being able to go to Israel since September and plans to go in October, the graduation from college of my younger son and the career success of my older son, while so many in Israel have lost their children and loved ones because of the war and, I came across this piece in Daniel Gordis’s “Israel from the Inside” substack. He posted this piece written by Hagai Luber, an actor, playwright, theater director, acting teacher, and the founder and artistic director of the “Aspaklaria” theater and acting school. The translation is below. It captures my feelings beautifully.

Please, please,  
On the panels in the TV studios,  
On social media and in tweets,  
In the Knesset, in committees, and in speeches.  
And in the war cabinet, in the heat of discussions,  
Do not use the dead soldiers as proof of your righteousness!  
Do not say—"See? We must achieve a decisive victory."  
And do not say—"This is the proof that it is time to end the war."  
And do not prove with a victorious shout that if only there were more fighters, the disaster would have been avoided.  
And do not passionately criticize the methods of fighting and the security doctrine.  
And do not say—not today at least—  
That we must...  
That now...  
That the time has come...  
That we warned long ago...  
(And never, ever dare to say "They fell for politics and in vain")  
Just take a moment,  
Or a day,  
Or a year.  
And quietly look at these beautiful ones, in the picture.  
And think about the wondrous fact,  
That regardless of taking a stand or having an opinion,  
They were willing to die for you (f.) and for you (m.).  
And when they heard over the radio that soldiers hit explosives,  
The rescue forces rushed there to save lives,  
And took fire and continued, gritting their teeth, in evacuating them.  
And they didn’t check which sector they belonged to.  
And whether they are "secular" or "ultra-Orthodox,"  
And what their opinion is about the situation and what exactly they think.  
And this unconditional connection is the rock of our existence.  
And it is stronger and more steadfast than all our follies.  
And it is the secret of our strength.  
And it is the light and the good in our lives.  
We will grieve together.  
We will be comforted together.  
And we will rise together.

Haggai Lober

Maybe this hit me so hard today because I watched a former student who became a friend, bury his wife, another former student who became a friend, in Israel today. As I watched the funeral, I was struck by a number of things. First, her desire to be buried in Israel. How much that meant to her. Secondly, how as people talked about her, I could see her face, hear her voice, her laughter, and her passion for life. Third, how grateful I was that I got to see her last fall when I was in Atlanta and that I got to give her a big hug then. I only wished I’d spent more time with her that day.

That’s who we are as Jews. We love life. We cherish life. Our toast, L’Chaim, is literally saying “To Life”. Saving a life is as if we saved an entire world. We celebrate life throughout our lives. Even when somebody dies, we use shiva, the 7 day mourning period after burial, as a way to help the mourners deal with living their lives after losing their loved one. We tell stories about the person who died to celebrate their life and bring comfort to the lives of their loved ones. Everything is about life.

Beginning on October 7th, we have lived in an almost 2 year period of death. Death on October 7th. Death of hostages. Rise of antisemitism impacting our ability to live life. It only struck me today how un-Jewish this time period has been. I was reminded of this by words spoken by the daughter of my friend Yael (z’l) as she eulogized her mother. She had asked Yael (z’l) if she regretted anything in her life and she told her no. When pressed, Yael (z’l) told her daughter that she married a man she loved with all her heart, had parents who loved her, had 2 beautiful children that she loved more than anything, and had a fulfilling career. What was there to regret.

As I type and read those words, I can hear Yael’s voice saying them. Even in death, Yael (z’l) reminded her children, her family, and me the importance of living life. Jon Polin reminded us about how important living life is and just how powerful the loss of life is, through his son Hersh (z’l). Haggai Lober teaches us through his essay how important life is by the way we do whatever we can to save lives and how despite the incredible value of life, we are willing to risk our life to save others.

October 7th and the war that has followed has cost us too many lives to not honor their memories by living ours. Living them Jewishly, whatever that means to each of us. I have my Nova tattoo, my we will dance again tattoo, and my tattoo of the artwork by Moshe Shapira connecting released hostage Emily Damari’s hand with the priestly blessings. Moshe’s son Aner was murdered on October 7th as he repeatedly threw grenades out of the bomb shelter, trying to save others, until there was one he couldn’t get to in time and this tattoo reminds me of Aner, Emily, and Moshe. I wear my Star of David with Israel as the center of it proudly every day, outside my shirt. I got my Florida Stands with Israel license plate and display it proudly on my car.

I’m not the most religious person but I go to minyan when asked. I learn Jewishly every week through two different teachers and with a Rabbi friend when possible. I am proudly and outwardly Jewish. I refuse to hide it. I often think of my parents, who were outwardly proudly Jewish, my grandparents, who were outwardly proudly Jewish, and my Great-grandmother Rose, the only of my Great-grandparents that I knew, who was also outwardly proudly Jewish. I owe it to them and to my children to be proud of who I am, of my history, of my heritage, of my culture.

In memory of all those murdered on October 7th, who have died protecting Israel and the Jewish people, who were murdered by Hamas as hostages, I have one thing to say.