As we come to the end of 2025, I have found myself spending a lot of time in contemplation about the year we are finishing. It’s been a very difficult year. The rise of Jew hatred around the world is overwhelming. The violence against Jews is frightening. The continued lies of Israeli genocide boil my blood. I watch as the extremes on the left and the right in the United States continue to blame Israel and the Jews for everything. There are too many on both sides to begin naming them, as I’m sure I would forget somebody.
The job market is tough. The number of friends that I have who are looking for work and getting discouraged is yet another frightening reality. Talented, qualified professionals. I speak to at least one of them almost every day, being a friend, being supportive, and helping any way that I can. One of them asked me today, “Was I bothering you asking about a job?” That upset me more than I expected it would, as I asked myself, “why would it bother me to help a friend?”. The I realized that for them, it must feel like an imposition. For them, it’s a critical need. For them, they don’t want to be a bother but also want and need all the help they can get. I replied, “No. It’s rough out there so helping when I can is meaningful.”
Years ago, I stopped making New Year’s resolutions. The last New Year’s resolution I ever made is the one that I have been able to keep the longest. It was to stop making New Year’s resolutions. I felt it was time to focus on action, not wishes. Change, not empty promises. As we approach 2026, I found myself getting depressed as things seem to be sinking deeper and deeper with no way out. No light ahead, just different paths of darkness. Change seems so unlikely to happen and there are so many roadblocks to it.
And then, as I was looking through LinkedIn today, I saw something that made me stop and pause. It was from an organization who stated that their mission was “helping to build the spiritual foundation of a loving world.” It grabbed my attention and made me look at them even more. In their vision, they state that, “We believe that social transformation must fundamentally include spiritual ways of understanding the world in addition to scientific ways of knowing. Our goal is to prove that viewing the world as inherently sacred…” It felt like jolt as I read it. What would our world look like if our leaders viewed the world as inherently sacred? We live in a time where building a spiritual foundation and desiring a loving world seems impossible. Yet if we can find a way to understand both the spiritual and the scientific, perhaps we can then view the world as inherently sacred and begin to act that way. In their FAQ section, when answering what spiritual solutions are, they write, “we believe that many of the challenges facing our world — division, disconnect, injustice — are not only political or economic, but deeply spiritual. Spiritual solutions begin by shifting how we see: from separation to connection, from fear to love, from transactional to relational, from tactical to transformational.” I began thinking of what our world might look like if we focused on spiritual solutions and began to live as connected, loving, relational and transformational people.
Figuring out where to take that awareness left me struggling a bit. As I walked my dog, listening to country music, talking to her as we walked, I realized that I needed inspiration. I needed to find something that could restore my hope, that would inspire me to continue fighting for what I believe in – a better, kinder, and more just world. I also realized I can’t do it alone. After getting home from our walk, I went to one thing that has always inspired me. I returned to watching TheWest Wing. It is one of my favorite all time television shows. It makes me think. It brings up important topics. It has deeply flawed characters that all want the common good. It shows struggles, decisions by the characters in the show that they regret, honor, and are passionate about. It shows patriotism, caring for others, civilized debate and discussion, and has characters that truly lead. I don’t always agree with the characters but I respect them. The last time I began watching it, I had stopped at the end of season 3, so I began watching again at the start of season 4.
There was so much that applies to today. An election that matters. Conflict in the Middle East with Israel being wrongly cast as a villian. Not enough teachers in the schools. The high cost of college and the challenges of affordable college education. Credit card debt. High college loans. A government out of touch with what is happening on the ground to regular people. A divided country. A need to come together with a challenge of how to do it and who will lead it. Rising antisemitism.
Yes, in late 2002 The West Wing was addressing the rise of antisemistism. If only we’d listen. This dialogue between Josh and Toby was brilliant and could be something we hear amongs Jews today.
Josh: “You have an inadvertent habit of putting down my Judaism by implying that you have a sharper anti-Semitism meter than I do.”
Toby: “You know the ancient Hebrews had a word for Jews from Westport; they pronounced it ‘Presbyterian.’”
As I watched show after show, my downcast spirit began to rise. How could a show about fictional leaders from 23 years ago improve my outlook from this dismal time? It reminded me that there is a better option. There are people who care more about the country than power, influence and money. For every Senator Bernie Sanders who stops children with cancer from having a chance at lifesaving treatment because he didn’t get everything he wanted in the deal, there is a Senator Howard Stackhouse on the West Wing who only runs for President only to make sure the imporant issues are discussed. For every Representative Thomas Massie or Marjorie Taylor Green, there is an Ainsley Hayes from the West Wing who puts country and the people before party.
As I listened to President Bartlett give his speech during the Red Mass service, after terrorists killed 44 people on a college campus, I thought about October 7, 2023 and what happened in Israel. I thought about what leadership could have looked like at that moment. The message that could have been sent by American leaders and leaders around the world and the message that was actually sent. The civilians and people in reserves who ran into the fight with Hamas terrorists. Imagine if world leaders had said something like what President Bartlett said, “The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They’re our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels, but every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we’re reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. this is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard We will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars.”
The West Wing is a reminder of what leadership CAN be. It’s a reminder that we bear responsibilty to elect the leaders that will inspire us, that will work for the betterment of all, that won’t be stuck on ego, power, and money. That’s on us. We, the people, have allowed our Congress not to work for decades. We, the people, have continued to nominate and elect those in power. It’s time we stop trying to blame others and take personal responsibility.
In the beginning of season 4 of the West Wing, Toby and Josh meet a man bringing his daughter to visit colleges. She is excited. He is excited. Yet he left her in the hotel room to go to the hotel bar because he’s worried about how he will be able to pay for it. The interaction had a profound impact on Toby and Josh. When back in Washington, they work to find a solution. Their excitement as they think they have found a way is infectious. They convince others that this is something they can accomplish. That it’s not just something we should do but find a way to fund it. When President Bartlett gives his speech about education after the shooting on campus, he starts with a line from scripture. “Joy cometh in the morning.” It’s an exceptional speech that reminds us how we find the spiritual solutions to economic and social problems. The West Wing, 23 years ago, was teaching us the lesson we need to learn today. There are things we can’t do anything about and we can’t worry about them. There are things we can do something about and it is our obligation to take action and do something. To make a difference. To change the world.
Taking the inspiration from the West Wing and the different way to look at things through a spiritual solution focus highlighted by this organization, they outline a few important things as to how effective spiritual solutions often follow a simple but powerful pattern. Their model is:
Diagnose the Problem Differently: Instead of only seeking and exploring what’s broken, we ask “What’s sacred?” This reframes the issue from one of scarcity and division to connection and potential.
Center the Sacred: Whether through relationship-building, contemplative practices, ritual, or cultivating shared meaning, spiritual solutions reconnect people to what matters most — Spirit and the full community of life.
Shift the Culture: When hearts and imaginations are engaged, systems can begin to evolve. Policy, practice, and even data become tools for deeper, more compassionate outcomes.
Nurture Ongoing Transformation: Spiritual solutions are not one-time interventions. They are ongoing commitments that require sustained reflection, humility, courage, and love over time.
It’s time we stop hating the political party that isn’t ours. It’s time we stop hating those on the opposite political spectrum. It’s time to focus on love and communication, on kindness and faith. It’s time to roll up our sleeves and do the work required together with those who have different opinions.
As we move into 2026, my goal is to use their model, continue my Jewish learning to understand more of how Judaism encourages us to look at the world, and further build relationships so that I can do my part. I did my part today, following the lead of Hillel Fuld who ‘meets with the CEO’ every morning. I made sure to start today by meeting with the CEO just like Hillel does.
Little things matter. Having a spiritual connection matters. Building relationships with others matter. If we want to live in a world filled with hope, have leaders who work towards building a better world, and care about others, there is a path.
The West Wing reminded me of that path. We don’t all have to be Jed Bartlett. We can be Toby or Josh. We can be Sam, CJ or Donna. There are many different roles that bring us hope and watching The West Wing brought me back to hope. Hope alone is just the beginning. Now it requires action. 2026 is going to be an action packed year for me. How about you?
I spent the beginning of the week in Washington DC at the Jewish Federation of North America’s (JFNA) General Assembly (GA). The GA is a gathering of 2,000 Jewish communal professionals and volunteer leaders, networking and addressing the challenges facing the Jewish world. I’ve been to more than I can count and find them both energizing and exhausting. This year’s GA is no exception.
With the ‘end of the war’ and the return of the living hostages, this year has focused on rebuilding and resilence, two key factors not just for Israel but for those of us living in the diaspora. The past two years, since October 7, 2023, have been incredibly challenging, painful, and filled with far too many ups and downs both in Israel and the diaspora.
Having just been in Israel and seeing the difference in the country with the return of the living hostages and the hope that perhaps there will remain a cessession of the war, if not an opportunity for peace, I began to feel some hope for Israel and Israelis. I haven’t felt that way about the diaspora and particularly in America. Here at the GA, I have begun to get a little bit of that. So what is that began to give me this hope?
On Sunday night, at the beginning of the first main session, four former hostages spoke to us. Noa Argamani, Avinatan Or, Evyatar David and Guy Gilboa-Dalal shared not just some of what happened to them but also their incredible gratitude to the IDF soldiers who fought for their freedom. They recognized the soldiers who paid the ultimate sacrifice in order to rescue them and to defend Israel. They recognized the spouses and children of the soldiers who returned to milium (reserves) time after time after time, all to free the hostages and defend Israel. The incredible grace these four people showed was inspiring. I don’t know that I would be filled with gratitude after being held hostage as long as each of them were. I don’t know that I would be able to show grace instead of anger if I went through what they went through. It was an incredible lesson of humanity and I found it inspirational for me to be a better person, a better friend, a better member of society, and somebody who wants to continue to work to do my part in making this a better world for everybody.
Former hostages Noa Argamani, Avinatan Or, Evyatar David and Guy Gilboa-Dalal
I was especially struck by Avinatan as he shared his story. Kept underground, by himself, in the tunnels, for 738 days, more than 2 years. Two years of no sunlight. Two years of no fresh air. Two years of no human companionship, only terrorists beating and harrassing him. He lived in his mind. He told us the story of his escape attempt, digging through the dirt day after day after day. When one day he hit the roots of tree, it was his first proof of life outside the tunnel and the entire audience could imagine that moment. He shared about finally breaking through into the outside and his first breaths of fresh air in well over a year, looking at the stars in the sky at night, and feeling alive, just for a moment, before he was caught and taken back to the tunnels. Bound to a chair and beaten for a week. Yet he wouldn’t lose hope. He wouldn’t lose faith.
We live in a world today that is lacking that hope and that faith. Listening to Avinatan, Noa, Eyatar and Guy was a powerful reminder of community. Of faith. Of hope. These four amazing people somehow managed to keep their faith and hope alive in horrifying circumstances. Just a few days ago, Guy publicly stated that he was sexually abused by Hamas while being held as a hostage. This could break a person’s soul, ruin their faith, and strip hope from them. Yet somehow Guy held on to hope and to faith.
My hope and faith get tested every day. At Park East synagogue in New York, protestors this week chanted antisemitic slogans such as “Death to the IDF” and “Globalize the intifada,” things Mayor-Elect Mamdani has failed to condemn. His spokesperson, Dora Pekec, issued the following statement to the online publication Jewish Insider:
“The mayor-elect has discouraged the language used at last night’s protest and will continue to do so. He believes every New Yorker should be free to enter a house of worship without intimidation, and that these sacred spaces should not be used to promote activities in violation of international law.”
So according to Mayor-elect Mamdani, promoting Aliyah (moving to Israel) at a synagogue is a violation of International Law. He doesn’t condemn those who advocate violence against Jews in other houses of worship. He doesn’t want to crack down on those who plan violence against Jews, those who hurl hate messages outside a house of worship, only those who want to talk about emigrating to Israel. It’s hard not to see the antisemitism and Jew hatred in his statement. I wonder what those in the Jewish community who voted for and support him will say and do if he begins to crack down on anything Israel related in a synagogueor in New York. Will there still be an Israel parade? Will Israeli flags be banned in synagogues in New York? Will we see extra taxes and fees place on flights leaving New York to Israel? How far will it go? He hasn’t even been inaugrated and the concern continues to mount.
Yet I remain hopeful. I won’t lose faith. For the last four days I have been in Seattle with Noam from Dror Israel. We spent a lot of time talking with each other. One of the things that he said repeatedly that stuck with me is that he can’t worry about changing the rest of the world. He can only worry about changing Israel. In this crazy world that we live in, it can be overwhelming to think that we have to change the entire world. Instead, if I focus on changing my world, I can have a real impact. Change my community, my city, maybe even my state. I am not responsible for the entire world or even my entire country. But I can work to change my community. That is my responsibility.
I have been on the road for the past week and have heard from a number of people how I have the best job in the world. I agree with them. I have the privilige of working with amazing nonprofit organizations that are changing their communities. They are changing the world by doing so. I get inspired by them every single day. Every day when I wake up, I know that in my small way, I am helping them to change the world. Because of the work that I do, these organizations are improving the lives of people. It fills me with gratitude. It gives me hope and restores my faith. With Thanksgiving just a few days away, there is so much I have to be thankful for. My family. My health. And the fact that every single day, it this crazy and often absurd world that we live in, I get to do my part to make it a little bit better. I don’t have to be the type of heroes that the IDF soldiers have been, risking their lives to save the hostages. All I have to do is my part to make the world a better place. I know when I wake up tomorrow, that’s exactly what I will do. Will you?
Emily Damari’s hand has become an international symbol. The pictures are stunning and shocking. When you see her face and her hand, you realize that her hand does not define her, yet it also is a par tof her identity now. Shot in the hand by Hamas on October 7th, kidnapped and held hostage for 471 days, nobody knew what Emily would be like upon her release. What we have seen in just a week is truly remarkable. Her spirit, her smile, and the videos of her with her family warm my heart. It gives me hope for the other hostages and their pending release. It reminds me of my obligation to live and to be an inspiration, not just to my family, but those who know me or know of me.
One of the most beautiful pictures I have seen. Her face, her smile, and her hand show resilience
Her hand is a symbol and an inspiration. But of what? Rabbi Daniel Gordis, in his Israel from the Inside substack, writes about this, stating
“Here are some of the thoughts that I’ve heard from others:
It’s a “V” symbol, for “victory”
It’s “just” a wave, but Hamas turned her simple into “V”
It looks like the letter shin, ש, which is the letter on the Mezuzah, as “shin” stands for “Shadd-ai”, one of the Hebrew names of God
It sort of looks like a heart
And then, the one that I thought was the most profound:
“She’s home, and she’ll heal. But she’ll never be whole. Just like this country.”“
There is so much to think about in that analysis. It may be a ‘V for victory’, but what did we really win? She is home safe, which is a victory, but it is hard to say that we have won anything. Israel defended her citizens, crippled Hamas and Hezbollah, weakened Iran, and as a result, allowed for the toppling of the Assad regime. Yet it’s hard to think of that as a ‘win’. I believe almost everybody would rather the world be as it was on October 6th rather than where we are today, so it’s hard to see anything as a victory.
I love the concept of her hand now looking like the Hebrew letter shin, standing for the name of God. It’s a physical symbol of God and how God is inside all of us. In Emily’s case, she now has an outer symbol of God. It has been noted that her hand is now the same as the sign for “I love you” in American Sign Language. This ties even more into the letter shin as it shows God’s love for us all. I had the privilege and honor of meeting Elie Wiesel three times and having dinner with him twice. Sitting with him, it was clear that he had been touched by God. I feel the same way about Emily. Her hand is the symbol.
When I look, I don’t see a heart. I think it’s a bit of a stretch but I do love the concept. Emily and all the hostages have had our hearts since October 7th. When we learn one of them was murdered, our heart breaks. When we see one of them released, our heart sings. As Jews, we are all mishpacha (family). It’s a reminder of that as well. It is a reminder that no matter how much the terrorists of Hamas and Hezbollah try to take away our morals and ethics and our commitment to life, we will not let them do that. When I see her hand, it reminds me that I have to do better, be better, to make the world a better place.
I agree with Rabbi Gordis on the last one. It is the most profound. And perhaps the most true of them all. October 7th broke us. Going to the Nova site at Re’im was incredibly painful. Visiting Kibbutz Kfar Aza felt like being at Auschwitz just after liberation. I’ll never forget that feeling. Meeting and spending time with the displaced families from Kibbutz Alumim in Netanya as heartbreaking and inspiring and then visiting Kibbutz Alumim two months later, meeting those who moved back, and seeing what the terrorists both did and tried to do there, was deeply moving. We will all heal in some way. Yet we will also not be whole. Emily is the symbol for the entire Jewish world. She is the symbol for Israel. When I visited Israel in May and July iof 2024, you could feel how the country was different. When I went back in September, after the murder of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, Ori Danino, Eden Yerushalmi, Almog Sarusi, Alexander Lobanov and Carmel Gat, the country had changed yet again. Israel will heal. Israel will recover. But the Israel of October 6, 2023 will likely never exist again. Neither will any of us.
Kfar Aza in May 2024. When I watch and listen, I still feel the pain and anger that I did on that day.
My friend Fleur Hassan Nahoum picks a scumbag of the week and a hero of the week on her podcast, The Quad, each week. This week, her hero was Emily. As you listen to her talk about Emily, there is so much to identify with. She, and all the hostages, are family. We cried when they were taken. We ached as we thought of what they were enduring. We spoke out for their release and safe return. We celebrate when they are released and we mourn when we find out they have been murdered. Her hand should be the new symbol of giving Hamas “the finger”. They tried to murder us all and kill our spirits. They took her captive and held her for 471 days. She wouldn’t be detered. She is emblematic of the Jewish and the Israeli spirit. When I look at her, when I watch videos of her, I see life. I see future. I see hope.
Emily reminds us all of who we used to be, who we currently are, and who we aspire to be. As she comes home after 471 days that none of us can imagine, after 471 days than none of us would to experience for a single day, she exudes hope, love, and beauty. In a world filled with despair, filled with immense challenges, filled with incredible hate and bigotry, Emily reminds us that there is another path. Even in the worst of times, in the worst of places, enduring the worst of humanity, Emily’s smile shows us we can perservere. We can win by living our lives. We can defeat evil by never letting go of who we are and what we believe.
Drawing by artist Moshe Shapira, the father of Alex Shapira z’l, murdered on October 7, 2023, while hiding with his friends and others in a shelter in Re’im, after fleeing the Nova music festival
Emily is an inspiration. She is a reminder than good can defeat evil. It takes effort. Sometimes herculean effort, like surviving 471 days of captivity and brutality by Hamas. Losing two fingers and having their stubs fused together. Who knows what other horrors she had to face. Yet she survived and brings light to all of us. If Emily can do it, so can we. Let Emily’s spirit inspire all of us to do better, to be better, and to fight harder. Am Yisrael Chai!!
I arrived in Israel this time on Thursday September 12th. My flight was changed to leave 3 hours early so I arrived at 3:30 am. The airport was empty – a strange thing at any time. I got to my hotel by 5 am, they let me check in 10 hours early for a 280 shekel charge, and I was in business. A shower, a nap, and off to my first meeting of the trip. The first four days were a combination of meeting with potential clients, friends, and enjoying Israel and the beach. I got a lot accomplished and was able to really enjoy being in Israel.
I also began spending some time with Israelis without touring. Time talking about life. About the last year and how things had changed. Most of my trips to Israel involve an itinerary related to seeing locations. Jerusalem and the Old City. The Kotel. The Kotel tunnels. The City of David. Masada. The Dead Sea. The mystical city of Tzfat. Ammunition Hill. The strategic value of the Golan Heights and the importance of the Galilee for agriculture. Meaningful places that help me ask and answer questions about myself and what it means to be a part of a people that is over 3,000 years old. I could tell this trip would be different. This wasn’t going to be a trip about my own self exploration. This wasn’t about who I am, who I want to be and how to get there. This was going to be an experience focused on who Israel was. The impact of October 7th. Who Israel is currently. Who Israel might be in the future. From time spent with my friends Grace and Yocheved who live in Israel (both made Aliyah about 30 year apart) to my friends Margot and Tamar (Margot made aliyah over a decade ago while Tamar is a sabra) I could tell just how different the country is and the impact on them. It was going to be a different type of exploration.
I had Shabbat dinner with Margot, Tamar, and their family in Modi’in. I wrote about that previously. On the drive home, Tamar and I had a deep and meaningful conversation. Knowing her as a proud Israeli and her history it was painful to listen to her uncertainty about the country we both love. As a mom, she expressed the concern for her children. She expressed her concern for the impact on not just her and Margot as parents but on her friends who are parents. The challenges of her children being so young and yet seeing and hearing things that were not age-appropriate. Her 9 year old daughter asking questions that are meant for much older children but are now part of her reality. Hostages. Hate. Murder. Invastion. Loss of family. She shared a dream her daughter told her about where terrorists came to their house, killed everybody but her and took her into captivity as a hostage. No 9 year old should have this as part of their reality. As a parent, my heart broke.
Our talk took the entire drive. It was deep. She shared things she needed to but hadn’t had a safe space. Everybody in Israel is living this horror. It was the first glimpse for me into what Israelis are really going through. It hurt. Deeply. These are my people. My family. My mishpacha. The last 11 months have not only been horrific, each day makes it a little worse as there is more death. More rockets. More destruction. More hostages found or confirmed dead. More fear of it happening again. Does Israel stop to get as many hostages back and let the people heal, knowing full well that they will end up repeating this again in the future? Do we do whatever it takes to end it and worry about the human and emotional toll after? Theoretically it had been a challenge for me as I debated in my own head. Talking with Tamar showed me it isn’t theoretical. It’s real people struggling with real emotion and life. We got to my hotel and gave each other a big hug. It was the start of my head spinning journey that continues on the plane as I write this.
Saturday night I had dinner with a group of newer friends. All but one I met just a few days before. Most were Israelis who had made aliyah. Two were IDF soldiers, recalled from the reserves to fight in Gaza. As we talked over dinner, I could see the impact the war has had on them. These two Americans who moved to Israel to follow their zionist dream not only got their dream but also their nightmare. One had finished his reserve duty, the other was about to go back in for another round of reserve duty. The one who had finished his was preparing to return to America and then to travel. He needed to get out of israel and get away. He needed to wander and clear his head. It was obvious to me that the other one needed this as well but didn’t have that option as he was back in mellowim (reserves) and had to finish this round before he could even consider it. I tried to think what it must be like to make aliyah, live your dream, join the army and complete your service. Begin to start you life as an Israeli when all hell breaks lose. Your dream becomes a nightmare. In and out of reserves. In and out of Gaza. Seeing things nobody should see. I realized it was something I simply could never comprehend. I have called this Israel’s greatest generation. They have showed up in a way that was unexpected and unprecidented. They are paying the price for it. When this is finally over, how long will it take them to heal? How will their children be affected? For those that don’t have children, how long will it take for them to have children? Immediately? A few years? Many years? Never?
The diaspora Jews have showed up as well. Many have chosen to flock to Israel to volunteer. What other people run TOWARDS a war zone? This was my third trip since October 7th. I would have come more often except my family wouldn’t let me go until May 2024, 7 months after October 7th. I would have gone October 8th and they know it. My friend Mark had never been to Israel before October 7th. This was his 3rd trip since. He’ll be back in December. All to volunteer. All to make a difference. Masha was back to volunteer again and brought her sister Diana on her first trip to Israel. Leon was back to volunteer again and again. He took his break on Shabbat and then went right back to working hard in the fields. He’s a successful attorney who leaves his practice to do this. Masha has found a way to work remotely so she can do her job while in Israel. Mark takes time off from his career. The sacrifice is clear. It is inspiring. Yocheved left her job and got on a plane in October to be in Israel while her brother fought in Gaza. She helped start a volunteer organization, Sword of Iron, that now has nearly 40,000 people a part of it. She is 24 and has literally changed the world.
Yocheved and me at the group dinner on the beach in Tel Aviv
Is this a new definition of Judaism? Is a return to our Zionist roots, working the land, giving of ourselves, going to be the next advent in Judaism for those who are Jewish at heart but have not been Jewishly connected? There are many who are running far away from Israel, yet there are many who are literally running to Israel. I have alway believed that Israel is core to my identity as a human being and as a Jew. Is this going to be a new reality for many Jews? I have watched as Israel has changed the lives of so many people and the impact of October 7th has completely changed who they are. I know it has changed me. I know it has changed others. When we look back in 100 years will see this being a turning point? The rise of the greatest generation of Israelis since the founding of the state? The change in the diaspora in their relationship with Judaism?
Sunday night I met with one of my partners and a potential client. Hersh Polin Goldberg (z’l) was a key part of the conversation. There were things about him that I didn’t realize. Things that made his death that much more tragic. An even bigger loss, if that’s even possible. As I was talking business, his presence hovered over us along with all the hostages still in Gaza. It was an introduction to the trauma of the hostages on Israeli society that I was about to experience. After our meeting, we headed to Jaffa for a private talk by Avigdor Lieberman, a candidate for Prime Minister when the elections finally happen. While it was entirely in hebrew, one of my partners translated for me. Once again, it was eye opening to sit in the room and hear what he was saying. The questions were blunt and powerful. Pointed. He answered them all. Some with the answers that I expected and others in ways I did not expect. While I knew Israel wasn’t the same country since October 7th and felt it on my two prior visits, this was a different depth that I hadn’t experienced before. It continued building on the conversation Tamar and I had on the drive. The future of Israel is undetermined. Not the physical existance but the spiritual existance. The essence of what the country is going to stand for and what level of trust the people were going to have. It reminded me of Michael Oren saying that on October 7th the 2 convenants the government made with the people in 1948 were broken. The first is “Never Again”. Never again died on October 7th. The second is that the IDF will always be there to protect Israeli citizens. That myth also died on October 7th. An existential covenant broken. A country questioning who they are and what they stand for. The soul of the country on the table up for debate. If I thought that it would now be time to chew on this and come up with some bright, pithy statement, I was very wrong. It was just the start of what would overload me and keep my head spinning all week long.
Monday we went to Kiryat Gat, the temporary home to those who lived at Kibbutz Nir Oz on October 7th. Nir Oz was devastated on October 7th. We met with Gal Goren, a 22 year old boy, who lived at Nir Oz. On October 7th he was away from home on a retreat. His family was at home in Nir Oz. On that Sunday he learned that his parents were missing. Were they alive? Were they dead? Were they hostages? 18 days later, his father’s body was found in the fields. It took 18 days to find his father’s body while it was simply in the fields. In July 2024, 9 months after he last spoke to his mother and she was last seen, her body was recovered in Gaza. She had been wounded on October 7th severely and only survived a few hours yet it took 9 months to get her body returned and closure for her family. As we sat on the couch in Gal’s home, listening to him tell his story, looking at pictures of his parents in the room, I realized that his parents were probably close to my age. I later looked it up and they were both 56. Maya Goren (z’l) and Avner Goren (z’l) were simply parents of 4 children. They were living their lives, no differently than me living my life. Until terrorists showed up. They are gone. Their children have no parents alive. I could see the pain in Gal’s eyes. I could hear it in his voice. I can’t imagine what his younger sister is going through. His two older brothers are in the IDF, the organization that failed them. In Nir Oz, there was not a single IDF bullet fired. By the time the IDF got to Nir Oz, the terrorists were completely gone. It took them 8 1/2 hours to arrive. Hundreds of terrorists against five people with guns. Somehow the five people lasted over two hours before the last was killed.
Gal’s parents, Avner (z’l) and Maya (z’l) from Gal’s living room.
How do you deal with an epic failure of intelligence and security? As a country that prides herself on safety and security, on the IDF being a badass army, how do you reconcile that it took them 8 1/2 hours to arrive. 117 of the 400 people on the kibbutz were murdered or kidnapped and taken hostage. It’s an incredibly indictment of the IDF yet it is the IDF that is required to keep Israel safe. Two of Gal’s brother are fighting for an organization that didn’t save their parents. Gal went back into the army to be an IDF educator. After having their parents murdered and the IDF not showing up for 8 1/2 hours to Kibbutz Nir Oz, Gal and his two brothers went back to the IDF to play their role. I can’t imagine what that must be like. Around every turn is the failure that resulted in the dealth of your parents and yet you double down, invest, and give of yourself to the army.
During the four days I spent with my client, we explored the experience of the evacuees deeply. Nir Oz. Kiryat Shemona. Kibbutz Reim. A school just for evacuee children in Kibbutz Ravid. More than 11 months after the attack, these communities remain evacuated and remain living in temporary places. Some in hotels. Some took over entire buildings. Some are scattered around and nobody is sure if the community will return. It is not just the number of internal evacuees due to the war who have been displaced. Those used to living on a Kibbutz with lots of land and freedom are now cramped into a hotel room or a small apartment. Their entire life has been turned upside down and for some there is no timetable for their return. I experienced a little of this on my last trip with the people of the town of Shlomi living in our hotel. It was shocking to see then. To see the meta perspective of so many communities still living like this was troubling to say the least.
The front door to the apartment building where the Nir Oz community now lives in Kiryat Gat. Never forget the hostages.
The world pays attention to the people in Gaza, terrorized by Hamas, used as human shields by Hamas, refused by Egypt and without any pressur on Egypt from the United States to be me let into Sinai to live, where there would be no reason for military attacks. Yet the world is silent about the Israeli internal refugees, some who will no be able to move back to their home communities for many years. Some who will never move back to their home communities. The Jews remain the world’s pariah. In a world that frowns upon hatred and bigotry against any minority community, the only one that it remains acceptable and encouraged to hate are the Jews.
We heard from a lot of people about both what they experienced on October 7th and what they began to do on October 8th. Carmi told us about taking her 7 month old daughter into their safe room while her partner was up north celebrating his birthday that weekend. I can’t imagine being in a safe room for nearly 30 hours with a 7 month old and limited bottles, diapers, and entertainment, all while trying to shield them from the sounds of the rockets and the fear of terrorists entering your building and attacking you. I can’t imagine the horror of knowing your family was at risk and getting no update, and then when you get the update it is that they have been taken captive by Hamas and are hostages in Gaza. Zohar told us about his sister-in-law and niece, taken into Gaza where they spent 50 days as hostages. The fears of his brother and himself. The non-stop fight to get not only them returned but all the hostages returned. As we spent time at the Hostage Family Forum, hearing Zohar’s story, it was painful. Hearing his anger at the government was powerful and understandable. He summed up my thoughts on our leadership, which I have written extensively about, when he said, “We don’t have leaders. We just have government.”
As we walked through the Hostage Family Forum building, I felt the sadness. I felt the depression and anxiety. The effort to do anyting to make a difference. To push the government to get them home. To actually lead. Somebody has referenced this building as the saddest place in Israel and I believe that to be true. The posters of hostages on the wall where their age was crossed out and updated by a year. In a few weeks, they will all have celebrated a birthday in captivity.
There are Americans who are still hostages yet our government remains largely silent. There is no pressure on Hamas, Qatar, or Iran to have them released. If America won’t force the return of our hostages, who is going to put the pressure on diplomatically? The only choices are surrender to the wishes of Hamas or military action. Neither are good options. So we sit. They protest. I write. They cry. The hostages get a day older and a day closer to death. Shame on us. We like to think we are better than that yet the proof is there that we are not.
We went to hostage square. I was there in May and the sadness envelopes you. The mock tunnel is powerful. Walking through it is depressing and I always think of what I was told in May that released hostages said after going through the mock tunnel, “I only wish they were that big.” I bought some Israeli flags with the yellow ribbon through them. I have my ‘NOW’ hat. While up to now I have struggled with what happened on October 7th and how that has changed me, now I find myself thinking about what happened AFTER October 7th and that is changing me. We must do better. We must get leaders not government. It is up to us to BE THE CHANGE. I look at people who were seen as changemakers, people who spoke up and spoke out about other causes and how today they ignore what happened on October 7th and ignore Hamas and Iran. How they simply engage in Jew hatred. Greta Thornburg has become a racist and bigot, spewing Jew hatred. What a shame. Leaders of the UN show they are merely power hungry Jew haters with their statements and the resolutions. Is this the world we want to live in? Is this the behavior we want to encourage? It never ends with the Jews. We are merely the first. Are you ready to be the second? The third? Because you will be.
October 7th didn’t just affect the Jews. On this trip we spent time in the arab village of Ein Mahil. My client works with all Israelis. Jews. Arabs. Druze. Christians. It’s about people and children. They work with the children of Majdal Shams, the Druze village where Hezbollah murdered 12 children playing soccer by bombing them while they played. Hundreds were wounded. I wanted to go visit but it was deemed not safe. It made me sad. Tzfat was not safe to go visit. Most of the north is not safe. We went to Akko, we went to towns around the Kinneret (Sea of Galilee) but we could not see anything further north. There were two mornings where rockets were fired in our general vicinity. We did not get alerts but they did 10-15 minutes away. I made sure to text my family that everything was ok, not wanting to alarm them but also not wanting them to worry.
Ein Mahil was a great place to visit. The youth center there is part of the Israeli Zionist youth movement, HaNoar HaOved (NOAL), that I am working with. Yes, you read that correctly. The arab village, just like the Druze village of Majdal Shams, are places where there are Israeli Zionist youth groups where arab and druze children are members. There are 55 arab villages that have this youth group. You read that correctly. 55 ARAB VILLAGES HAVE A ZIONIST YOUTH GROUP THAT ARAB CHILDREN PARTICIPATE WITH AND LOVE. More than 20,000 Arab children are participants in this Zionist youth group. We got to hear from leaders of the Ein Mahil branch. They grew up in the movement. They are Israeli, Arab, and not only participated in a Zionist youth movement but are now leaders of a Zionist youth movement in their Arab Village!! Abu Hani, the Mayor of Ein Mahil came to speak with us. His daughters were in the Zionist Youth movement. Yes, he is also Arab. The children were having so much fun. I enjoyed getting to walk around and talk with them. By talking I mean mostly hand motions as they spoke Arabic and I don’t. I’ll never forget this one little girl, Yasmina. When I saw her name on her project and called her by name, the smile on her face was precious. When we went to take the picture, I made sure that this shy little girl joined us. She smiled when I called her by name and waved her over. Who says you can’t communicate with kindess and love instead of words.
In Ein Mahel with the kids and the Arab members of NOAL, an Israeli Zionist Youth group, along with the staff.
Gazel, the head of the branch, spoke to us. She only spoke Arabic so it was translated. Lina, who learned English from watching Friends and How I Met Your Mother on TV spoke with us. Yousef, who was an early participant in the movement in 1995 (the movement began in Ein Mahil in 1989!) spoke to us. Shadi, another leader in the movement, told us about how he began in 4th grade and now his children participate. Shadi told us what October 7th was for him. It was something I never considered. How did October 7th impact Israeli Arabs? He was out with his son, getting haircuts. After hearing what happened, they got in the car and raced home. He said he drove like a maniac. He didn’t know who was going to want to kill him. Would it be Hamas because he was an Israeli Arab? Would it be Arabs who think he is a traitor because he was in an Zionist youth group and now is a leader of the movement for Arab children? Would it be Jews who see him as an Arab and think he is a terrorist? I can’t imagine the fear he and others faced, thinking every person they encounter could be an enemy and wanting them dead, all because they live in Israel, are Israeli citizens, and get along with Jews. Shadi told us his Jewish friends from other villages were calling to check on him. They understood what was happening to Israeli Arabs. Calls that Israel is an apartheid state simply miss the facts. Every one of those people needs to visit Ein Mahil. Majdal Shams. Or any of the 55 Arab villages with a Zionist youth group thriving. The 12 Druze Villages (almost all of the Druze Villages) that have a Zionist youth group thriving.
Gazel, Yousef, me, Gary, Shadi, Marc, Michael, and Lina. New friends in Ein Mahel that I can’t wait to see again.
The effects of October 7th and more importantly, the effects of what has happened since October 7th, will not only change Israel forever, it is changing our world. I felt the impact of hate like I never have before. October 7th was an explosion of hatred that was overwhelming. What has happened in the 11+ months since then is an ongoing hatred, ongoing pain and suffering, ongoing bigotry and racism. Ongoing terror. For many of us, today is not September 20, 2024. It is still October 7, 2023. Until the hostages are returned, until Hamas, Hezbollah, and Iran are defeated, until the refugees from the north and south of Israel can return to their homes and rebuild, and until the people of Gaza can live safely, in peace, with their neighbor Israel, it will always be October 7th. As Zohar so powerfully stated, we need leaders, not government. Where will they come from? How do we get there?
There is much more from this trip to process. More I will write about. For now, I have added the pain of everything after October 7th to the pain of what happened on October 7th.
Today is my younger son Matthew’s 22nd birthday. I get home in time to celebrate it. While I treasure the time celebrating his birthday with him, I will be thinking of Gal, who because of hatred, because of bigotry, because of Hamas and Iran, didn’t get to celebrate his 22nd birthday with his parents and will never get to celebrate another of his birthday’s with his parents. Gratitude for what I get and sadness for what he lost.
6 months ago, I woke to a very different world. I didn’t know it when I awoke that morning. I made coffee, sat down to catch up on the news, and was horrified to hear about the attacks in Israel. I turned on the TV and the only channel covering it well was CNN. I don’t like watching most television news because of the bias, but on October 7, 2023, I didn’t have a choice. It appeared nobody else was covering it well. I was shocked at what I saw and how CNN covered it that day. They acted like a real news network rather than being in the entertainment business.
The horrors I saw on October 7th only got worse as I watched the 47-minute Hamas video, the documentary on the Nova music festival massacre, and heard from survivors on the attacks on Kibbutzim on October 7th and the Nova Music festival. Images and stories I will never forget.
Many of you don’t know this about me, but in the early to mid 1990s I worked with the Department of Corrections. My population for 18 months was solitary confinement, and I did coverage of Florida’s Death Row when the person who had that as their primary job was on vacation. I also worked with rapists and child molesters who were getting treatment to stop offending if/when they ever got out of prison. I spent time with some of the ‘worst of the worst’. I read files of people who had done horrible things. I met with people who did horrible things. While each of these people did horrific things, none of that was as horrifying to me as what happened on October 7th. Working there definitely changed me and it took me 6 months after I left to feel like a normal person again. I’m not sure I will ever be the person I was before October 7th again.
Sundays are when I get my inspiration from songs and music. I debated whether to continue this week with that model or because of the 6-month mark of October 7th, to do something different. I spend time with a couple of Rabbis each week learning and one thing that has come across clearly and that resonates with me is that Judaism believes in hope and gratitude. So I decided to stick with music this week and pick a song that, for me, is entirely about gratitude and reinforces hope.
On day 184 of the hostages’ captivity, on the 6 month mark since October 7th, hope and gratitude are what I need. Hope that the hostages will be released soon. Hope that they are alive. Gratitude for the IDF and all those who risk everything to protect Israel and the Jewish people. Gratitude for our leaders who are speaking out publicly against Hamas and defending Israel’s right to defend herself. Hope that those who aren’t or who aren’t clear will get clarity and fight for good to defeat evil.
Don’t need no five-star reservations, I got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine. Don’t need no concert in the city, I got a stereo and the best of Patsy Cline
Ain’t got no caviar, no Dom Perignon, but as far as I can see, I got everything I want.
It’s a simple beginning focusing on all the things he doesn’t need. All the things that are materialistic but not important. As I sit here on day 184 of the hostages being in captivity and the 6-month mark of the terrorist attack on October 7th, I realize that none of the things that I thought were important on October 6th really are. I would trade the delicious food, the concerts and shows I attend, the nice cars I own for the safe return of the hostages. For the end of Hamas and the end of the war. For the safety of my friends and my friends’ children who are serving in the IDF. For those in Gaza who are innocent and suffering to have food, shelter, medicine, and a government that actually cares for them.
The Bibas kids – Kfir has spend nearly half his life as a hostage of Hamas
I am grateful for the health of my family. For my mom, my in-laws, my siblings and sisters/brothers in law, nieces and nephews, and family that isn’t by blood. I’m lucky that I want what I have rather than focusing on having what I want. The last 20 months, since my dad got sick and then died through the many changes in life, I have paid attention to what is really important to me. Family. Friends. Relationships. Health. As he sings, ‘as far as I can see, I have everything I want.’
‘Cause I got a roof over my head The woman I love laying in my bed And it’s alright (alright), alright I got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it’s alright (alright), alright, yeah I got all I need And it’s alright by me
The chorus reiterates this. The basics are what I need. A roof over my head, somebody I love in my life, clothes, and that powerful relationship. It’s what I need and when I focus on what I need, it’s certainly, “alright by me.”
I have heard the parents of hostages speak in person, on tv, and through interviews. One thing is very clear to me. They would trade EVERYTHING to get their loved one back. I have heard from people who lost loved ones on October 7th – either on the kibbutzim, at the Nova music festival, or trying to save the lives of people being attacked by the Hamas terrorists. They would give up everything to get their loved ones back. Many of them have said they would return to the kibbutz where they lived prior to October 7th but would never live in that house again. They need the roof over their head and the community that they love and love them, but they don’t need that specific home.
I have friends who had loved ones taken hostage that have since been released. When I talk to them, the appreciation they have for their loved one’s release and the empathy from those who have loved ones that have not been released. I have friends who still have loved ones that are hostages and the daily pain they endure is unthinkable. We often have these grandiose things that we want. The nice, new car. The bigger house. The vacation home. The exotic trip. The designer clothes, bag, shoes. I find myself, like the song says, caring about the things that money can’t buy. Health. Happiness. Family. I find myself grateful for the people who care about me and who I have the privilege of caring about. And while I am saddened by the people who I have learned don’t really care, it also frees me up to invest more of my time and my energy with the people who do.
Hila was released after being kept as a hostage the day before she turned 13. The look on her face is priceless as she gets her birthday and Hanukkah gifts from her worldwide Jewish family.
Maybe later on, we’ll walk down to the river Lay on a blanket and stare up at the moon It may not be no French Riviera But it’s all the same to me as long as I’m with you.
May be a simple life, but that’s okay If you ask me baby, I think I’ve got it made.
I have had the privilege in my life to do some amazing travel. Having been to Israel 20 times and my 21st coming up next month isn’t the extent of it. I’ve been to many of the islands in the Caribbean, as a another famous song says, “Aruba, Jamaica” and many, many more. I’ve been on cruises. I’ve been to Mexico and Canada, Italy (more than once), Turkey, Spain, Greece, England, Switzerland, Egypt, Thailand, Bali, and more. Every one of these trips was amazing. I got to see incredible sights and experience incredible cultures and food and meet wonderful people. And yet, I would much rather be with my loved ones and walk down to the lake. I’d rather lay on a blanket together and look up at the moon, spending time with them. I don’t need to go to the exotic places to get those special feelings.
I’m not saying I don’t love traveling (I do). And I’m not saying I’m going to stop traveling (I’m not). What I am saying is that I don’t want to miss the time with family and friends because of some exotic place. I get much more value from meeting my mom for lunch in Lakeland than eating at a café in Venice, Italy. I have more fun eating lunch with a bunch of friends at Portillo’s in Springfield, Illinois than I do at a gourmet restaurant in Istanbul. I love when we cook out at the beach or go as a large family out to dinner during our Greenberg family beach week much more than dinner at Big Itzik in Tel Aviv (and the food there is amazing).
Dinner at Big Itzik (Itzik HaGadol). The food is amazing and the salads are incredible
On day 184 of captivity, on the 6-month mark of the October 7th massacre, I know that the families of those taken hostage or murdered would much rather eat cheese sandwiches with their loved ones than a fancy meal. They’d rather sit in the living room with those in captivity or murdered than take an exotic trip. We live in a world where our priorities are messed up. We now value things so much we forget about the value of our friends and family until it’s too late.
On Friday I learned of the death of a friend and colleague. It wasn’t expected. It was a shock. He was a wonderful man, a friend, a colleague, and just a good human being. Salt of the earth. It was sudden. He was only 5 years older than me. We’ve known each other for around 20 years. It was devastating. It was shocking. I think what bothers me the most is that I don’t remember the last time we spoke. I think it was nearly a year ago in Atlanta. Not for any good reason. Life got busy. We knew we’d talk again. We knew the opportunity would occur. Until it didn’t. I don’t want to live my life that way any longer. I don’t want to regret the call I didn’t make once it is too late. I don’t want to regret the simple text or email to stay connected and make sure those who matter to me know they matter to me. That’s more important than anything else.
When I lay down at night, I thank the Lord above For giving me everything I ever could dream of
‘Cause I’ve got a roof over my head The woman I love laying in my bed And it’s alright, alright, alright, alright I got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it’s alright, alright, alright, yeah
I got all I need, yeah I got all I need And it’s alright by me, oh, yeah It’s alright by me, yeah, yeah, yeah
The last few lines and the chorus once again are powerful. God (or the Lord) is a challenging thing to talk about today. It tends to mean you are either an evangelical Christian, far right wing, a terrorist, a racist, you hate people who are different than you, or somebody who is trying to convert others to your beliefs. Yet it really means none of that.
I pray and meditate every day and have for decades. I have a relationship with God that is personal and meaningful. It’s my own and if you ask me about it, I’m happy to share mine and encourage you to have your own. And if you don’t want your own, that’s ok too. I no longer believe in the punishing God that I was raised with. I believe in a God that is loving, caring, and only wants the best for me. And that when the best doesn’t happen, it is never because of God, it’s always because of me. My favorite book, Illusions by Richard Bach, is a thought-provoking book which challenged my conventional thinking about God and the universe. It explores the nature of reality and perceived reality which led me to question my beliefs and consider new possibilities. In it, there are many sayings pulled from the handbook for life. My favorite is:
“Argue for your limitations and they are yours.”
Since reading the book the first time and reading that quote, I have challenged myself to not fight for my limitations and the limitations of God. It doesn’t mean I can do everything or even anything. It does mean that if I believe I can do it, I can do my best and it may just happen. And it may not happen. But if I argue before I do the work, it never happens. There are many of these gems in the book and at one point I wrote them on index cards and carried them with me to remind me of the lessons.
I thank God every day for the blessings in my life. The relationship I had with my dad. The relationship I have with my mom. My family, my wife, my children, my siblings and sister/brother in laws. My nieces and nephews. My cousins. My family that isn’t blood but is just as close. My friends. A roof over my head. Shoes under my feet. Food to eat.
Many years ago, when I was not yet 21, a friend told me to write down what I wanted in the next year and seal it in an envelope. A year later, we opened it together and I was amazing. My list was incredibly short sited. I had asked and hoped for far less than I actually got. I had argued for my limitations when I wrote the list but didn’t in my life. As a result, I got far more.
On day 184, the 6-month mark since October 7th, we can’t argue for the IDF or Israel’s limitations. They can do what they need to do to protect Israel and the Jewish people. They can do what they need to free the hostages. They will do what is needed to eliminate the evil that is Hamas.
At the end of the day, I do have all that I need and it is alright with me. I’m filled with gratitude and hope, despite the horrors of October 7th, the horrors of war, and the captivity of innocent civilians. We, as a people, will continue to survive and thrive and will do what is needed.
I remember being in high school and learning the ancient Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.” and thinking to myself, what could be better than interesting times? I hate being bored, so interesting times would be exciting and fun.
Ah, the naivety of the young.
These are interesting times and as such are not so wonderful times. The rise of hatred over the past decade is frightening. The rise of antisemitism over the same time period and the exponential growth in the past 6 months is overwhelming. I read and listen to so much discussion and none of it seems to focus on the real challenge and the real solution.
We have been taught not to like each other. We have been taught that ‘the other’ is against us, will harm us, and that if they get what they want, we won’t get what we need. This seems to be fairly universal, regardless of who you are and who ‘the other’ is. We villainize them. We make broad generalizations about them. We make assumptions about them. The one thing we don’t do is actually engage with people who are different from us. That one thing we don’t do is the one thing that we need to do.
In November 2019, I had the honor and privilege of participating on an Encounter Immersive Experience. We spent 4 days meeting with, listening to, and learning from members of Palestinian civil society. I said it and used the word – Palestinian. So let’s set some ground rules for the rest of this post.
The Palestinian people do exist. They may have had different names over the years from Arabs to Bedouins, to Palestinians. We, as Jews, used to be called Hebrews and Israelites. Accept the fact that these people do exist, they live in what I will call ‘Greater Israel’, and aren’t going anywhere.
As a result of the 1967 war, Israel conquered territories. This happens in many wars and is a reality of millenniums. The area on the west bank of the Jordan River has different names. For purposes here I am going to call is Judea and Samaria, the ancient names for that land. Some may call in the West Bank. Some may call it Palestine. I am calling it Judea and Samaria.
Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Palestinian Authority (PA) are evil. Most Palestinian people don’t like them. I will discuss this later in this post however understand that there is a difference between Palestinian people and terrorists. If you insist on generalizing that they are all people or are all terrorists, you can stop reading here if you want. There is a difference.
Now back to my 4 days with leaders of Palestinian Civil Society. I remember thinking how 4 days seemed so short. This is such a complex issue; how could we only spend 4 days with them? There were 4 of the most intense days of my life. By the third day I was grateful that it was only 4 days because on how intense they were.
During these 4 days, which I wrote about at the time, and you can find about 17 blog postings in the beginning of this blog from that time period, I had the ability to meet with many different people. I had a chance to ask questions, listen to other points of view, and listed to people who had an entirely different history and narrative than I do. I met people who I really like and stay in touch with even today. I met people who I despised and who I am sure despised me only because I am Jewish. I met people whose effort to change and challenge everything that they know were inspiring. I met people who are a direct cause for the increase in hate, terrorism, and everything that led up to October 7th. I saw things that made me sad. Some were out of necessity, and some were simply terrible government policy. It was a life altering experience that only made me a stronger and more powerful Zionist but also made me a better human being because I began a journey of understanding some of the deep challenges and how much work it will take to find a solution, to make peace, and to get beyond the damage that has been done in the past so that we can live in a different future.
I have written a lot about how October 7th has impacted and changed me. I wrote about what seeing the 47-minute Hamas video was like. Recently I saw the documentary about the massacre at the Nova Music Festival and I shared what that was like. The past 6 months have been focused mostly on being a Jew in today’s world and in the United States. It has been focused on the challenge of being a Zionist, loving Israel, in a world that is openly hostile, willingly believes lies and knowingly uses inflammatory language that is not accurate. I have paid attention to my friends called up in the reserves, their children, either called up or who are currently serving in the IDF. What I haven’t done is think too much about my Palestinian friends and what life has been like for them.
Over the past few weeks, I have been talking a lot with various people about the future. As the US is demanding a permanent ceasefire and a 2 state solution (Hamas is the obstacle to the ceasefire as they have openly called for more October 7th massacres and still are holding hostages), I found myself thinking about who would be that partner for peace. Obviously, Israel and the government have to make their own changes and hopefully that will come soon. But what about the partner? Who would it be? It’s not Hamas or Hezbollah. It can’t be the Palestinian Authority (PA) who not only is corrupt and whose people hate them, still has not condemned the October 7th massacre nor have they had elections in 19 years! So again, who can this partner be?
I found myself thinking of my friend Ali Abu Awwad, founder of Taghyeer, the Palestinian National Nonviolence Movement. I met Ali on that trip and was amazing at what he said. There was real leadership about building a country that would live in peace with Israel. The line he said that I will always remember is, “Peace will not come through Jewish blood. It will come through Jewish hearts.” He then added, “we need to prove to the Jewish people that they can trust us because we have only showed them that they cannot.”
Ali and me together when he visited Orlando and spoke to our community.
Imagine leaders who are not calling for ‘intifada’ or ‘jihad’ but instead are calling for peace and understanding. Imagine leaders who came from a place of hatred and have overcome it to work with Jews, with Israeli, to build a better society. Imagine a leader whose mother was a high-ranking PLO leader, who spent time in an Israeli prison at the same time as his mother and was able to move beyond hatred. Imagine a leader whose brother was killed by the IDF and found peace and acceptance by spending time with a Rabbi whose son was killed by terrorists. That is Ali Abu Awwad. Just before Covid shut the world down, Ali spoke in Orlando. The room was at least half Israeli. They were primed for a fight. They were primed to hear somebody blame Israel and make the Palestinians innocent victims. They didn’t get what they expected. They heard somebody taking responsibility for their part in the hate. They heard somebody who gave hope for a different future.
I realized I hadn’t reached out Ali in quite a while. I hadn’t checked on him and asked how he was doing? then I began to think of some of the other Palestinian people that I met and considered friends. I hadn’t reached out to them either. What type of friend am I to be so overwhelmed with my own grief that I don’t check on my friends. So I began doing so. I reached out to Ali and am awaiting his reply.
I reached out to my friend Mahmoud. His family owns the Educational Bookshop in East Jerusalem. I spent a day with Mahmoud in 2019 walking around East Jerusalem, visiting the Palestinian theater, learning about the Palestinian arts community, and having coffee and a conversation at the bookshop. We finished the day at his home with another deep conversation. I wrote about that day in this blog post.
The day with Mahmoud was difficult and very meaningful. It is something that I think about regularly because of the power of his words. He is not a fundamentalist. He does not hate Jews. He does not want the destruction of Israel. He wants to live freely. He wants a government that represents him and takes care of him. It was very difficult to hear him say that if there was a public works project in his neighborhood, he wouldn’t ask the municipality of Jerusalem to fix it because they wouldn’t. And he wouldn’t/couldn’t ask the PA to fix it because even if they could, they wouldn’t. He felt helpless so he would just get people together to fix it himself or live with it being broken.
Mahmoud and the Educational Bookshop. I look forward to returning for another cup of coffee with him.
He talked about how challenging it was for him to be in West Jerusalem and how he felt there, how uncomfortable and that he was a focus of constant attention. He shared how he didn’t feel he belonged or was welcome there and how much that bothered him. It bothered him so much that he didn’t like going. He talked about how he would go to Tel Aviv, and he felt he didn’t stand out, he wasn’t a focus of attention like he was in West Jerusalem. And how that both made him feel welcome and how it also troubled him – why was it so different? He could disappear in Tel Aviv and just be a person while he felt he couldn’t do that in West Jerusalem. It didn’t sit well with me then – that’s not the Israel I love – yet with the rise of antisemitism in the past six months I have begun to understand it in a way that is very uncomfortable.
I watch what is happening in places like New York, California, Michigan, and Canada, and feel very uncomfortable and unwelcome as a Jew. This isn’t the America that I love. There are places around the world that I won’t visit now as a Jew. This isn’t the world that I want to live in.
I think often of something that Mahmoud said to us in his home. He said that if Zionism means that the Jews have a claim to the land and that the Palestinians also have a claim to the land, then he supports Zionism. It was incredibly powerful when he said it and even more powerful today. When a Palestinian man living in East Jerusalem can come to that type of understanding, it gives me great hope for the future. Zionism isn’t colonialism. It isn’t racism. It is the belief that the Jews have a right to self-determination in our historic homeland. In fact, the Declaration of Independence has some very clear definitions in it that need to be highlighted. They include:
This right is the natural right of the Jewish people to be masters of their own fate, like all other nations, in their own sovereign State.
Simply put, we have a right to our own sovereign State and self-determination. It’s very clear.
THE STATE OF ISRAEL will be open for Jewish immigration and for the Ingathering of the Exiles; it will foster the development of the country for the benefit of all its inhabitants; it will be based on freedom, justice and peace as envisaged by the prophets of Israel; it will ensure complete equality of social and political rights to all its inhabitants irrespective of religion, race or sex; it will guarantee freedom of religion, conscience, language, education and culture; it will safeguard the Holy Places of all religions; and it will be faithful to the principles of the Charter of the United Nations.
While Israel is a Jewish state, it is a place for everybody who lives there. It is based on freedom, justice and peace – this language is very different from the charter of Hamas and the PLO. And it guarantees social and political rights to all. Unlike Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran and others, we do not want to a place for us alone.
WE APPEAL – in the very midst of the onslaught launched against us now for months – to the Arab inhabitants of the State of Israel to preserve peace and participate in the upbuilding of the State on the basis of full and equal citizenship and due representation in all its provisional and permanent institutions.
Full and equal citizenship and due representation. Powerful words. Powerful ideals.
WE EXTEND our hand to all neighboring states and their peoples in an offer of peace and good neighborliness, and appeal to them to establish bonds of cooperation and mutual help with the sovereign Jewish people settled in its own land. The State of Israel is prepared to do its share in a common effort for the advancement of the entire Middle East.
That last line is so important, especially during these times. While we may not have a current partner for peace with the Palestinians, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do our part to find one. The Abraham Accords and potential normalization with Saudia Arabia and Indonesia create even more opportunities. We cannot let the horrors of the past stop us from the beauty of the future. When I think of Mahmoud’s words back in 2019 and Ali’s passion and mission, that’s what I find myself going back to.
We cannot let the horrors of the past stop us from the beauty of the future.
Ali and Mahmoud both want a world where people live in peace, together, building countries that care about their people. They are both incredible leaders with a following. We cannot afford to ignore them and let those who preach hate; Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, the Palestinian Authority, etc., be in control.
Mahmoud and I have been emailing and when I’m in Israel in May, we are planning for me to go visit him at his bookstore in East Jerusalem, walk around the neighborhood once again, talk, share a long cup of coffee or tea, maybe have lunch or dinner, and talk. And talk. And talk. Learn from each other. Deepen our friendship. Because we both want the same thing. A brighter future together.
One of my favorite people that I met on this trip was Mohammad. I wrote about them in this blog post at the time. He and his wife Hiba, and their baby son hosted us for dinner at their home in East Jerusalem. They come from an amazing family. Hiba’s family is the Muslim family that holds the keys to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. It’s an amazing story and if you don’t know it, you can begin to read about it here. They both had Master’s degrees. She worked for the UN, he worked for an NGO that took him into Gaza on a monthly basis. We formed an instant connection and talked at length about the different challenges. The fact that the PA hasn’t had elections since 2005. How corrupt the PA is and how they do nothing for the people except steal money. How if there ever were elections, they could never vote for the PA, meaning that even Hamas would be a better choice because MAYBE they would do something for them (we haven’t talked about that since October 7th and I look forward to it in the near future) while they know the PA won’t do anything. I asked about them running for office and their response was demoralizing as they didn’t believe that they would win and if they did, they wouldn’t be able to do anything without being killed.
Mohammad, Hiba, their son and me at their home in East Jerusalem.
We made a promise to get together again on my next trip so he could take me to his favorite restaurants, bakeries, ice cream shops, and we could continue our conversation. Covid delayed my next trip, but I reached out before it, only to learn that Mohammad and his family had moved to Japan where he was working on a Ph.D. We haven’t been able to coordinate his trips back with my trips back yet, but in our last correspondence we are going to try later this summer when they will be there for a few months. In the meantime, they have a new baby that I want to meet. He offered his home for me to stay when I visit, and I plan to take him up on the offer. This is a beautiful family. Wonderful people. True friends. And Palestinians. It is possible.
The last friend from this trip that I have been in contact with is a woman named Suzan. She is a Palestinian Christian who lives in Bethlehem. She also hosted us at her home for dinner where we had an amazing conversation. She worries about the declining number of Christians in Bethlehem. She worries about the role of women in Bethlehem. She is privileged because she also has a German passport so is able to travel much easier.
Suzan (far left in the black dress) and four of us at her home for dinner.
Suzan is an artist and runs an art studio. The Bethlehem Fair Trade Artisans shop is an amazing place highlighting a variety of artists, mostly women, and I encourage you to check it out and if you see something you like, to purchase it. (Full disclosure – I encourage you to purchase as much as you can from Israeli artists and Israeli businesses. I have purchased many pieces from Israeli artists since October 7th. If you need help finding Israeli artists or businesses, please let me know and I’ll be happy to share my favorites and many others with you.)
Her focus is on women artists and fair-trade practices. She was very frustrated that she was being told by the city government that her future shows and community events could not include Jewish women. She told us that she didn’t care what they said, she was still going to invite the Jewish women to participate. And she was going to continue to sell the works of Jewish women artists in her shop. She didn’t care what they said, she was going to do what was right. What was moral. What was ethical.
Put those words together. Moral. Ethical. Palestinian. Generalizations simply don’t work. There are terrorists. There are people who hate and are evil. I have met many of them, especially on that trip in 2019. There are also many good people. Great people. Caring people. People who you’d want as your neighbor. As your friend.
I hope to see Suzan either in May or later this year. When I met her, it was just after she harvested her Olive trees so I saw the harvest. Maybe this time I can see the trees filled with olives, filled with life. Wouldn’t that be an incredible symbol.
Suzan with her harvest of olives from her trees
These are four examples of wonderful, amazing people. People I call friends. People I would be honored to have as neighbors. People I trust. Good people.
I met terrorists. You can read about my lunch with a member of Hamas, a murderer, and a member of the Al Aqsa Brigade in this post. There is a difference between my friends who are Palestinian and the terrorists. And I met people who were terrorists and are on a journey towards something different. There is hope for the future but only if we are willing to do something different than the past. That difference isn’t just up to us but it can start with us. We can change our language. We can use our contacts to meet Palestinians who want peace, who don’t hate, who don’t support Hamas or the PA, who will invite you into their home, share a meal, a coffee, and who you will come to really like. We can help them rise up and together we can ensure the terrorists aren’t in power, don’t have the ability to kill Jews and oppress the Palestinian people.
I’m not being pollyannish. I’m not being naïve. I am being hopeful. I am talking about creating a systemic change. I’m talking about taking action to stop the funding to UNRWA and the PA. Ensure a new government ‘of the people, by the people, and for the people’ is set up in Gaza (sound familiar?) We can lobby our government to force elections in Judea and Samaria, so Abbas’s 4-year term finally comes to an end before he serves 20 years of a 4 year term. We can encourage the leaders in Israel to work with these leaders who want peace in a methodical manner to build trust. As Ronald Reagan famously said, ‘Trust, but verify’.
The Israeli national anthem is Hatikvah, the hope. Let’s make sure we don’t lost hope. Then the terrorists win and we all lose.
IDF soldiers singing Hatikvah after October 7th just before they prepare to enter Gaza and defend Israel.
I look forward to sharing stories, pictures, and maybe even some videos and conversations with my Ali, Mahmoud, Mohammad and Hiba, and Suzan. As deeply as October 7th has damaged and changed me, I won’t let it drive out hope. Hope in the good people. Hope for a better future. And in the words of Theodore Herzl, “If you will it, it is no dream.” I’m going to put the work in. I hope you decide to as well.
PS
I came across this video of IDF soldiers rapping about the lies that are told about them. It’s very powerful and timely.
Sadly, it was recorded 10 years ago, showing that these allegations have a long rooted basis in antisemitism, Jew hatred, and bigotry. Enjoy the video as it’s powerful.
I have written extensively about how behind the times I am when it comes to music. I recently discovered the 2001 song by Alan Jackson, Where were you? (when the world stopped turnin’). He wrote it about September 11, 2001 not long afterwards and performed it only 10 days later at the Country Music Awards (CMAs). I find it very impactful, not just as it reminds me of what I felt and was going through after 9/11 but also what I felt like on October 7th and continue to feel today.
Jackson said that he had strong feelings and wanted to write something that expressed them without being political or partisan. He wanted it to clearly reflect his thoughts and feelings. This song accomplished that in an incredible manner. Since October 7th, I have been writing to try to do the same. When I heard this song and when I listened deeply to the lyrics, they not only speak about September 11th and the feelings afterwards but easily could reflect October 7th and afterwards. Many Israeli artists have written songs about October 7th and after but I haven’t heard or seen a single American songwriter or singer with the exception of Bono and U2 changing the words of the song Pride: In the Name of Love to reflect October 7th instead of April 4 and the Supernova music festival. You can see and hear the pain Bono is feeling. I remember being incredibly moved when I heard it for the first time and even today, as I listen to it, it brings tears to my eyes. I wish they would re-release it with altered lyrics.
Where were you when the world stopped turnin’ That September day? Were you in the yard with your wife and children Or workin’ on some stage in L.A.?
Most people know where they were on September 11, 2001 as it is part of our American psyche. I know where I was. Who I was talking to. What TV station I was watching. Where I was when the first tower fell. Where I was when the 2nd tower fell. Keeping in touch with my brother, who worked in NYC at that time, to check on his safety. Being grateful that my dad wasn’t flying that day – he had flown the day before. Running a Hillel meant I had students to attend to and their needs. The pain everybody felt was palpable. September 11th and days that followed were filled with hugs, tears, conversations, and questions.
October 7th was very similar for me. I remember exactly where I was, where I sat, what TV stations I watched, and who I was with. I remember sending WhatsApp messages to friends and family in Israel to check on them. The uncertainty of where the attacks were going to occur that day. Was it just going to be near the Gaza envelope? Were they going to be attacked from the north and Lebanon? What was the PA going to do and would we see terrorists coming in from the East as well?
There are moments in our lives that we never forget the details. My wedding. The birth of my children. Family simchas. The last day I spent with my father before he died. Three Mile Island (I lived nearby in Harrisburg at the time). The assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan. John Lennon and Yitzhak Rabin being assassinated. 9/11. October 7th. In one way or another, the world stopped turning on all of those days. Some due to joy, some due to sadness. How the world stopping turning impacted us and what we do with the changes that result is what’s key.
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke Risin’ against that blue sky? Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor Or did you just sit down and cry?
On 9/11, when the first plane hit the first tower, I remember thinking it was an accident. We watched in horror but didn’t realize we were under attack. It wasn’t until the second plane hit the second tower that the shock really hit. Where was going to be next? My brother worked in NYC and his building was attached to Grand Central Station. Was that the next target? My dad was supposed to fly that week and his flight was changed. I tried to remember when it was changed. Was it changed so that he was flying that day? Was it the day before? Was it the day after? What about my friends who worked and lived in NY? Then the plane was crashed into Shanksville, PA and then into the Pentagon. Were there going to be more attacks? If so, where? How?
On October 7th, I sat there in shock. I couldn’t believe what I was watching and hearing. As I communicated with friends and family in Israel, it didn’t get any better. I shouted in anger, in fear for my friends and family. I sat in shock at what I watched and as names were released, prayed that I didn’t know any of them and was also sad that these people, these members of my Jewish family, were killed or taken hostage.
I couldn’t move from my chair in front of the television. I couldn’t change the channel. I didn’t want to talk to anybody as I had nothing to say. It was so unbelievable. When I did talk, it was usually filled with anger at what happened, not understanding where the IDF was. Not understanding how this was continuing as long as it was. Not understanding how it even happened. The more that was reported, the angrier I got at Hamas for doing it and for the Israeli government for missing the signs and for allowing it to happen. I got angry at the Gazan people who were welcomed into the kibbutzim for work and ate dinner with the families that they sold out to Hamas, ensuring their death or kidnapping.
We all have our own way of dealing with this type of trauma. Jackson’s point is that whatever we did, however we dealt with it, is what we needed. He isn’t saying one is better than the other. He isn’t saying if you didn’t do it his way, you were wrong. It’s a recognition that however we dealt with 9/11 or with October 7th, it’s what we needed to do in the moment. And that’s good enough.
Did you weep for the children, they lost their dear loved ones Pray for the ones who don’t know? Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble And sob for the ones left below?
On 9/11 it was common to weep for everybody. Those who were killed. Those who we didn’t know what happened. The families of both. We prayed for the yet to be born children who lost their father on 9/11. And the children who lost one or both parents. We celebrated those who managed to escape and to live. And mourned those who didn’t. We found heroes in the passengers that crashed the plane in Shanksville, PA instead of letting the terrorists crash it into what they wanted, which would have killed more people.
October 7th seems to be viewed differently by many. I recently saw the documentary about the SuperNova music festival. These young people who were there to celebrate music were massacred by evil terrorists. I saw the Hamas video which showed them celebrating the murder of civilians – the elderly, women, children, and adults. Kfir Babis was taken hostage at less than a year old and his brother at 4 years old are forgotten by most of the world. The American hostages have been forgotten by Americans and by our leaders. In Israel, there is an uprising against the government for how they are handling the hostage crisis. Families have been displaced for more than 5 months, both from the Gaza envelope and from the north, where Hezbollah is sending rockets every day into Israel.
The trauma of Israelis is forgotten. The trauma of the diaspora Jews is ignored. The world weeps for the children of Gaza who are dying because of Hamas but ignores the children of Israel who died because of Hamas. The Red Cross still hasn’t visited the hostages, 177 days later. They haven’t received their medication in 177 days. As the father of a child with Type 1 diabetes, I know what would happen if he went 177 days without insulin. After 9/11, America stood together in support of those impacted and those who lost loved ones. We stood together against evil. When it comes to October 7th, that stand only lasted a few days before they became held responsible for their own victimization by evil. It disgusts me. When I listen to Alan Jackson sing these words, I find myself burning inside, wondering why it doesn’t apply to Jews. Why does everybody else matter but we don’t. How can people who supposedly stand for morals, ethics, justice, equality, and the like actually show how fraudulent they are and not be held accountable.
My heart breaks daily for the families of the current hostages. It aches every day for the hostages that were released and their families, for what they must go through. It hurts for the families of the victims and the survivors of the SuperNova music festival massacre. I have a deep hole in my heart and my soul for everybody impacted by October 7th – the Jews, Bedouins, Arab-Israelis, Druze, Bhai’I, and the innocent Palestinians and people of Gaza (because there is a difference between the terrorists and the people). I wish the world mourned with me and stood up against evil. This verse reminds me that no matter how much we want to think that we can just fit in with society, we are always Jews first and the world will always look at us differently. They will weep and cry out for anybody other than us. They will mourn and fight for the rights of everybody other than us. We are the only ones who will stand up for ourselves.
The great Israeli leader Golda Meir had a number of quotes that reflects this reality. They include:
Did you burst out with pride for the red, white, and blue And the heroes who died just doin’ what they do? Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer And look at yourself and what really matters?
After 9/11, American pride was as high as I have seen since the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team beat the Soviets and then won the gold medal. We were united as Americans. Nobody was going to stop us. We were going to kill the terrorists, restore democracy, rule the world. Our first responders were all heroes. I remember the flag from the Twin Towers being flown at Yankee Stadium. We begin singing ‘God Bless America’ in the 7th inning of baseball games. We thanked our soldiers for their service.
The flag from ground zero flying at Yankee Stadium in 2001
We looked to God for answers. As a Hillel Director, it was an incredible time as students flocked to ask existential questions. Nobody was afraid to ask a question and seem uneducated because everybody was asking questions. People reassessed their lives, their values. Seeing these widows and orphans, pregnant women who lost their husbands, hearing the recording from the planes, inspired us all to be better people. “Let’sRoll”, said by Todd Beamer, before he and the other passengers on Flight 93 attacked the cockpit and the terrorists, crashing the plane into a field before it could be used as a weapon, was an inspiration to us all. We asked ourselves what we would do, what could we do, if we were in a similar situation.
October 7th was different for the world. As Jews, as Zionists, we asked where was the IDF. We were united in our grief, not in our dominance. We knew that Israel would respond, that war was here, and that Gaza would be devastated, but we took no pride in that. We took no joy. We wanted our hostages back. We wanted our country back. We wanted to dream of peace back. We sang Hatikvah, ‘Hope’, the Israeli national anthem with hope for the safe return of the hostages, safety for the IDF soldiers who were going to war, hope that peace would come quickly. The heroes we saw were ordinary people who raced into danger to help others.
Bedouins like Ismail Al-Karnawi, who left Rahat with three other family members to head towards Kibbutz Be’eri in order to rescue residents from the inferno. Sari Al-Karnawi, who served as a police officer at the Nova party and rescued partygoers from the attack. Muhammad Abu Najah, an employee of the cleaning company at Nova, who fought against the terrorists, called first responders, and warned others of the presence of terrorists. Omar Abu Sabeelah, who in Sderot heard a woman’s scream and saw Odaya Suissa with her two daughters, aged 6 and 3, and her husband Dolev who was shot dead by the terrorists. Despite being wounded, Sabeelah managed to reach the girls in the car and get them out to safety. He later died from his injuries. Yousef Alziyadneh, who saved the lives of approximately 30 Nova party revelers who were under fire. Anis Abu Dabbus, a senior paramedic crew at the Rahat Magen David Adom station, who acted with his crew in the Rahat and Ofakim area, treating the wounded and providing lifesaving treatment to many.
Heroes like retired general Noam Tibon, who got in his car with his wife and headed towards Kibbutz Nahal Oz, where his son, daughter-in-law, and two young granddaughters were hiding in their safe room as the Kibbutz was attacked and overtaken by Hamas terrorists. Tibon encountered a battle between IDF soldiers and Hamas and picked up a weapon and helped defeat the terrorists. He took 2 of the wounded soldiers to his wife who drove them to the hospital for treatment while he continued on foot until being picked up by another retired general who was answering the call and taken to the Kibbutz. 60 Minutes did a story on his heroism.
Countless other heroes like my friend Yaron Buskila, who left his house without a weapon to fight the terrorists and save lives. Yaron shared a little of what it was like and that little bit that he shared showed me not just his bravery, but the bravery of so many Israelis; Jewish, Bedouin, Arab, and Christian on October 7th.
On October 7th we all looked to heaven for an answer. An answer that will never come. Instead, we began to question ourselves about what really matters. What is important to us and how do we show that. How do we reprioritize our lives around the things that matter instead of the things we thought mattered before October 7th. It’s amazing to have lived in the post 9/11 world and the post October 7th world. Two terrorist attacks. Two tragedies. Two horrible things. Two very different outcomes and feelings.
I’m just a singer of simple songs I’m not a real political man I watch CNN, but I’m not sure I can tell you The diff’rence in Iraq and Iran
I find this to be one of the most profound lines in the song. So many of us don’t know what’s really going on. We didn’t know who the Taliban was before 9/11. We couldn’t tell you the difference between the Shiite country of Iran and the Sunni country of Iraq other than their rulers.
The same holds true after October 7th but it’s even worse. People don’t only know what Hamas and Hezbollah are, they don’t know that Gaza hasn’t been ‘occupied’ since 2005. They use phrases like “From the River to the Sea” and don’t know what river or what sea they are talking about. They use words like Apartheid and Genocide because they sound good and are powerful without understand the facts or definition of those words. They talk about the high number of civilians that have been killed, not understanding that war is terrible and civilians are killed, but that Israel is nearly 9 times better than the norm in minimizing civilan deaths. Instead of addressing the evil of Hamas, people are feeding into ancient Jewish tropes and feeding global antisemitism.
Israel-Hamas figures compared to the normal rates in war
I am concerned that this ignorance, this hate, will result in catastrophic events happening in the United States as we blame the victim and both encourage and allow the evil to grow.
But I know Jesus and I talk to God And I remember this from when I was young Faith, hope, and love are some good things He gave us And the greatest is love
One of my favorite things about Judaism is the way we look to God, to the Torah, for answers. There are always lessons to learn. Since October 7th I have spent much more time asking questions, learning Torah with Rabbis, and working to understand my role as a Jew in this world.
There is a line in Pirkei Avot, the lessons of our fathers, that always speaks to me. It comes from 2:16 and says that Rabbi Tarfon used to say, “It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you at liberty to neglect it.” After October 7th this hit home in a very different way. I am not a soldier and can’t fight with the IDF. I am not an Israeli citizen. I do not have the duty to finish the work of the war. However, I am also not able to just neglect the situation and not do my part. There are many ways to do my part and I have learned that there is much I can do. We all have roles to play and our responsibility is not to do everything but rather to play our part, to do what we can. Speak out. Get educated. Encourage others to learn and not just repeat things they hear.
We can also work to live with faith, hope, and love. This doesn’t mean excuse the behavior of the terrorists or those who repeat the lies because they don’t know better. We can have faith that Israel will defeat evil. We can have faith in God and the IDF. And we can focus on love. Love of the Jewish people. Love of our mishpacha (family). Love of Israel. Love of our family. Love of the teachings of the Torah (which if you know me doesn’t sound like something I would say.)
In these terrible times, in these times of desperation, we can still live with faith, hope, and love. We can choose to look to the future with positivity or negativity. We can do our part to make the world a beautiful, better place or we can allow it to die. The choice is ours.
Where were you when the world stopped turnin’ That September day? Teachin’ a class full of innocent children Or drivin’ down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty ’cause you’re a survivor? In a crowded room did you feel alone? Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her? Did you dust off that Bible at home?
This verse reminds us that the world did stop turning on both 9/11 and on October 7th. We don’t have to pretend that it didn’t. President Bush was reading to a class full of innocent children. We were all doing something when it happened, when we got the news.
President Bush reading to children as terrorists attacked on 9/11
We don’t have to live with survivors’ guilt. I wasn’t living in NY on 9/11 or in Israel on October 7th. Why would I have survivors’ guilt? Because I know people who were. I know people who lost loved ones. My life was altered only in the inconveniences I had to deal with after 9/11. October 7th meant that I didn’t get to go to Israel in November like I had planned. Yet the survivors’ guilt is real because I am part of a community. While I am an American, Israel is my homeland. I have a strong tie to Israel and my homeland, my love, was critically injured and damaged on October 7th. That is where my survivors’ guilt comes from. Because I haven’t been able to go to Israel since October 7th.
There are plenty of times when I do feel alone. People chanting antisemitic tropes. Dressing in Nazi uniforms and flying Nazi flags. When I see friends posting hateful comments that they don’t even necessarily understand are hateful and hurtful. I have learned who my friends really are and who aren’t. This can be painful but it’s also refreshing because I don’t have to include those people in my life any longer.
After 9/11 I made sure to talk to my parents, my siblings, and my loved ones. It was a reminder of how short life is. The same thing happened after October 7th. This type of brutality and horror reminds us how precious life is. How limited our time really is. What and who is really important to us. Last week I reached out to my friends who are Palestinian and live in that area. I wanted to see how they are doing. I wanted to let them know I was thinking of them. I wanted to let them know I consider them my friend no matter what is happening in the world. And that I want to see them when I get to Israel in the near future because they matter. I choose to live in faith, hope, and love, not in hate.
After 9/11 people began asking questions about God and opened a door that had been closed for them. October 7th was the same. The opportunity to study, to learn, to ask questions, and to explore Judaism, God, and spirituality was there and many of us took it. It opened me up to learning more, to being a better person, and to ask why I behave certain ways and is that reflective of the person I want to be. We have an opportunity to do better and to be better. I am taking that opportunity.
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened Close your eyes and not go to sleep? Did you notice the sunset for the first time in ages And speak to some stranger on the street? Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow Go out and buy you a gun?
After 9/11 I know a lot of people who did close their eyes and hope it never happened. People who struggled with sleep. I wasn’t one of them. But after October 7th, I was. I hoped it was a nightmare. I hoped I would wake up and it was only a nightmare. I struggled to sleep and when I did sleep, it wasn’t restful. October 7th was much more personal for me than 9/11. Unfortunately, I think most of the country has forgotten the horror of 9/11 and October 7th happened ‘over there’ and ‘to them’ and doesn’t affect their daily lives.
I have chosen to invest more in random acts of kindness. Today I was at the grocery store behind a couple with a child that has a disability. It meant that they were going very slow. I was stuck behind them. Instead of getting frustrated and trying to push by, I took a deep breath and watched them with their daughter. And found joy in it. Instead of being angry and resentful, I was grateful and filled with love. All because I took a deep breath and didn’t push past them. I say hello to strangers and talk with them as people, not strangers. I will hold a door open, let somebody get in front of me, and enjoy the beauty of the day.
The world is a scary place and has only gotten scarier since October 7th. Being so public as a Jewish leader, I felt targeted and at risk. Long before October 7th, I did get training on firearms and made sure that I have them to protect myself. They are things I hope to only use on the range when I practice. But I won’t be a victim. I won’t allow my family to be at risk from the hatred that exists in the world. And I know I am not alone in these thoughts, concerns, and actions.
Did you turn off that violent old movie you’re watchin’ And turn on I Love Lucy reruns? Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers Stand in line to give your own blood? Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family Thank God you had somebody to love?
This last verse asks what we are doing differently. While there are specific things listed, it’s really about who you are and what you are doing as a result of 9/11 and now October 7th. There are many things I do differently today than I did prior to October 7th. I speak out much more often against antisemitism and hatred. I reach out to those I love and to my friends. I make sure my friends who are different religions, races, cultures, etc. know I care about them and that I am interested in our similarities, not our differences.
Like Pirkei Avot teaches us, I have an obligation to help with the work. So I give blood, hold doors, exhibit patience, spend more time with my family, tell those that I love that I love them. I invest in friendships and allow those that have been shown to not be investable to die so that I am investing in those of value.
I appreciate what I have in my life. I am a rich man because I want what I have rather than having what I want. I am grateful for the life that I get to live rather than worrying about the life I wish I had. I am more connected spiritually and am open to all that the universe brings to me.
I am committed to making the world a better place. That starts with those around me and in my local community. It means doing things for the right reasons. President Ronald Reagan had on his desk a sign that said, “There is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go if he doesn’t mind who gets the credit.” That is how I live my life post October 7th. I don’t care who gets the credit. I don’t care about the recognition. I only care about what we can do together. What we can accomplish. How we can make the world a better place for all.
The paperweight from President Ronald Reagan’s desk
Where were you when the world stopped turnin’ On that September day?
The song ends with the haunting question that it began with. It reminds us that the world did stop turning. Both on 9/11 and October 7th the world was forever altered. We were forever altered. Where were we? What did we do as a result? How did we change? How did we change the world? What did we do to make the world a better place and to get it turning once again.
At the end of the day, all we can control is our own actions. What are you going to do today to make the world a better place? How are you going to change the world today? Remember that just because the world stopped turning on October 7th doesn’t mean we are free from the obligation to make sure it is turning once again. I’m up for the challenge and I hope you will join me.
On Sunday Jan 14, 2024, it will officially be 100 days since the violent attacks by Hamas resulting in the murder, mutilation, rape, burning, and kidnapping of Israelis. There remain 132 people held hostage by Hamas in Gaza including infants, toddlers, children, women, and the elderly. They have not been provided their medication in 100 days. They have been held in underground tunnels for 100 days. Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays have come and gone while they are being held captive. For the past hundred days the attacks on October 7th, the murders, mutilation, rape, burning, and kidnapping of my Jewish and non-Jewish brothers and sisters just because they were in Israel has weighed heavy on me.
I ordered a new Magen David (Star of David) from Israel that I wear. I got two dogtags from Israel, one saying “Bring them Home Now” in English and Hebrew, the other quoting released hostage Mia Schem, taken from the Nova music festival, and her tattoo, boldly stating, “We will dance again.” I want to fly an Israeli flag at my house, however due to the rise in antisemitism and the fears of my family, I don’t.
This rise in antisemitism has fueled my anger and rage. Seeing what’s happening on campus and watching and listening to then President of The University of Pennsylvania, Liz Magill, then President of Harvard College, Claudine Gay, and President of MIT, Sally Kornbluth refuse to state that calls for the genocide of Jews would violate their University’s code of contact was infuriating and unbelievable.
Watching some members of the US House of Representatives who previously stood strongly against sexual violence keep silent because the victims were Jews burns in my gut. People shamelessly throwing around words like ‘ethnic cleansing’ and ‘genocide’ without knowing the definition or the proper application has fire in my eyes. When South Africa has the nerve to charge Israel with genocide at the International Criminal Court my body cramped and ached with exhaustion. Israel, and the Jewish people, are being singled out compared to every other group or nation and excluded from protection.
When Germany, of all nations, comes out with a strong statement in support of Israel, clearly stating they are not involved in genocide, it provides relief. When Canada stands up and says that while they believe in the process of the International Criminal Court, it “does not mean we support the premise of the case brought forward by South Africa.” it is both surprising because of recent events in Canada and relief that they are doing what’s right. When the U.K. calls these claims “unjustified’ it generates major news. The United States has called these claims ‘unfounded’. It took watching and listening to Dr. Tal Becker’s incredible opening statement, 30 minutes of powerful and clear statements, to truly provide me with some relief.
This is not the way I lived my life prior to October 7, 2023. It’s not how I want to live my life today. Yet the realities of what occurred on October 7th and what has happened since, have me struggling on a daily basis. I was talking with a friend on Friday over coffee who saw the 47-minute Hamas video with me about the experience. She commented on how she hasn’t been able to process it with anybody because they can’t imagine the horrors she witnessed. And how some of the images will never leave her memory. I feel the same way and some of the images that have deeply disturbed her are the same that deeply disturb me.
So how do I move forward? How do I find inspiration and hope in a world that continues to suck hope and joy out with such incredible hate. How do I get past these feelings when I already know where I will go and who will hide me and my family if that time should ever come? How do I come to accept that not only have I had that thought but spoken to that person who agreed to do it? That in 2024, in the United States of America, I feel so unsafe that I need to have a secure place to hide. That the hatred of Jews is so strong and accepted that people feel safe screaming it from the top of lungs in public settings.
I have found inspiration in three places. The first is the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. A true leader in times when the African American community was facing the same type of public hatred, he remained a beacon of light. Nearly 56 years after his assassination, his words, spirit, and leadership remain powerful. How fitting is that as I write this, it is the weekend celebrating his birth. Dr. King has many famous quotes that are filled with inspiration. So many inspired me. I picked 5 that speak to me now.
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
We must walk on in the days ahead with an audacious faith in the future.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.
You will notice that 3 of the 5 relate to love instead of hatred. It’s easy to be filled with hate after October 7th and the 100 days the hostages have been kept. It’s easy to hate when the Red Cross refuses to see the hostages or get them medicine. It’s easy to hate after watching the 47-minute Hamas video. Yet hatred, as Dr. King states, is a burden, paralyzes, confuses, and darkens life. As I struggle with my anger and rage, Dr. King inspires me to be better and to do better. He reminds me that those who are sincerely ignorant and consciously stupid are dangerous and I have an obligation to continue to learn and to educate others. And most importantly, he reminds me that I must have faith in the future and focus on love, not hate.
The second may be seen by some as controversial. Joe Paterno was more than a football coach. The investment he put into his players as people is legendary. I know so many people who weren’t players who had interactions with him and his focus was always about being better people. What type of person do you want to be? What type of parent? Spouse? I have friends who played on his teams and they all talk about how he invested in them as people. Due to the Sandusky scandal, the statue of him was removed. Penn State fans want it back and recently I read something about it once again. The thought came to me that were he still alive, the statue wouldn’t be something he cared about. But the type of people he coached and how they live their lives today is something he’d care about. One of my middle and high school friends who was on the team from 1985-1990 is a great example. Darryl is also in coaching and has been a mentor to my son Evan. Along with being a friend to me, he is always available to help Evan. I have seen the way he interacts with the players he coaches and like Joe Paterno, he cares about them as people first. As I struggle with the feelings since October 7th, I think of the lessons from Coach Paterno and how that relates. “Success with honor” was one of key goals for Coach Paterno. It’s also how the IDF behaves. They have their mission however they go above and beyond to what they can to ensure civilians aren’t harmed. Unfortunately, Hamas does everything they can to ensure that civilians are harmed. Coach Paterno had to compete against those who cheated. Israel has to fight against Hamas who uses hospitals, schools, mosques, and homes as military bases. Yet neither Coach Paterno nor the IDF compromise their values even when it makes things more difficult.
The third place I find my inspiration is from my father. I had a very close relationship with my father and when he died in September 2022, it had a huge impact on me. My dad always focused on what you do, not what you say. He focused on family and how important it is. He cared about people and was always there as a resource to anybody and everybody. As I struggle with these feelings, I often hear my dad in my head, giving me advice and guidance. I have wanted to go to Israel since October 7th but my family is too concerned about safety and doesn’t want me to go. I hear my dad telling me that as much as I want to go, as much as I need to go for myself, nothing is more important than family. I know he would tell me to do what I can from here and be grateful that I can do things from here, even if it isn’t what I would prefer to do. As I struggle with the anger and rage, he would tell me to focus on the beauty in my life, my family, my friends, and appreciate what I have rather than be consumed with anger and hate. Like Dr. King, my dad focused on love and light. I miss him terribly but even now, he is helping me deal with these feelings.
My brother, my dad, and me. He was my mentor and idol and he continues to teach me every day.
Today was the Ride for Israel in town. Some wonderful community members put it together and a large crowd showed up for motorcycle and cars driving with Israeli flags, signs, and more throughout Orlando. For two hours we drove all around town as people honked in support. We had a great crowd and it felt good to be together as a community in support of Israel and the Kibbutzim that were attacked on October 7th. It was a day of love, hope, community, friendship and fun. As I struggle with the feelings post October 7th, it’s things like this along with the inspiration from Dr. King, Joe Paterno, and my dad that get me through it.
Leaders of the Ride for Israel. What an incredible day.
I do believe and have hope for the future. And perhaps that hope is what will get me through these challenging days.
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