A friend of mine who is a Rabbi came by today to give me some Shmura matzah for Passover. It’s a special, hand baked type of matzah. Since I’m gluten-free, I can’t eat it, but we’ll use it on the Seder plate. While he was here, I had three new mezuzahs that I had just gotten to hang on my 3 back doorframes. The ones I had were too big, so I needed new ones. So I asked him to hang them with me. I’ve hung my other mezuzahs myself but since he is a friend and a Rabbi, I thought this would be a nice thing to do together.
I have the privilege of working with a program called MyZuzah. The concept is that the mezuzah is a great Jewish symbol, it provides protection to the home, is easy to put up, is a low barrier entry to something Jewish, and is a visual, daily reminder of being Jewish. MyZuzzah provides free mezuzah cases and kosher, fair trade scrolls, known as klafs, to anybody who doesn’t have a mezuzah on their front door. It’s a cool program and helps start a Jewish journey.
They also have a great store with cool cases that you can buy. I have an awesome mezuzah on my front door and a very cool one on my office door. But I didn’t have one on my doors to the back patio or the backyard. As we worked together and I looked at the store, I saw that they had ones made by the Ethiopian Israeli community. Not only were they beautiful, but I have a personal connection to this community.
My childhood friend Grace works for the Ethiopian National Project (ENP).
With Grace when she and ENP visited Orlando earlier this year
This is a project created by the Israeli government to help Ethiopian Israeli children with their education in order to have better success in life. The original Ethiopian Israeli’s didn’t speak Hebrew and didn’t have formal education so they couldn’t help their children in school. This mean the first generation of children struggled to have success. Their children then had similar struggles, resulting in the creation of the ENP. Since their creation, the ENP has had incredible success helping this community improve their academic effort, get into better military units, and have success in college. Their results are extraordinary. I have had the opportunity to visit the ENP sites on two occasions. The kids were amazing and inspiring. It was clear the impact the ENP programs were having on these kids. One of the adults at the site took us to the roof to teach us Ethiopian dancing. It’s still one of my favorite Israel memories. I’ve become friends with Roni Akale, the Director General, who made the walk from Ethiopia to Sudan in 1993 when he was 20 years old. I love hearing his story as it never gets old. His success is a model for the Ethiopian Israeli children of today as they see somebody like them who is a huge success.
With Roni, the Director General, who made the walk from Ethiopia to Sudan in 1983
Ethiopian Dancing on the roof of the ENP
More Ethiopian dancing on the roof of ENP. It was so much fun
This isn’t my only connection. When I was in Seattle, I had the privilege of meeting Sid Weiner. Sid was an amazing man who in the early 1980s began working to ‘Save all Ethiopian Jews” by creating a program by that name, also known as SAEJ. SAEJ rescued Ethiopian Jews in many ways. Two of my favorite stories that Sid told me about how they did it were as follows.
Sid Weiner at his birthday partySid telling us stories about his life at his birthday party
First, they met with Secretary of State George Shultz. They advocated to issue visas for the Ethiopian Jews to come to the United States. After much conversation, Secretary Shultz agreed to allow them make fake visas so that the Ethiopian Jews could escape Ethiopia and come to the US under the condition that they only stay 24 hours in the US before flying to Israel. So that’s what Sid and his team did. They made fake visas, flew Ethiopian Jews to New York using them, put them up in a hotel for the night, and put them back on a plane to Israel the next day. It’s truly an amazing story of ingenuity and daring.
The second story was about how they would create fake adoptions so the new adopted children could come to the US to live with their new parents and family. These adopted children would arrive in New York and promptly board a plane to Israel where they would make Aliyah and become citizens. Sid didn’t know how many children he ‘adopted’ this way. He said that one time in Israel, he was with a group of Ethiopian Israelis eating dinner when he realized that at his table were four of the children he had ‘adopted’! He hadn’t seen them since they were in New York years earlier.
Needless to say, the Ethiopian Israeli community has personal meaning to me. So the opportunity to buy the three mezuzah cases and kosher, fair trade klafs that I needed for my doors AND have them be made by the Ethiopian-Israeli community AND be beautiful Ethiopian art was something I couldn’t pass up. So I bought them and today they were hung. Every time I look at those doors, I have a smile on my face. Not only have these mezuzahs made the door frames more beautiful, I did a mitzvah in putting them up, they offer protection to the home, and they are a tie to the Ethiopian-Israeli community. What a win for me!
The 3 mezuzahs I bought that were designed by Ethiopian Israelis
That’s the thing about Israel – there is incredible diversity and amazing different cultures to explore. In Tzfat I always get food from the Yemenite place. It’s delicious and they even have a gluten free option now. I’ve been getting food from the same place and from the same Yemenite Israeli man since my first trip in 1989. I love getting Hummus from Abu Ghosh, an Arab town, 10 kilometers west of Jerusalem. While others may disagree, I think the hummus from Abu Ghosh is the best in the world. I’ve spent time with the Druze and had lunch with them. It’s fun learning about their culture, sharing a Druze meal, and talking. There is nothing like visiting Haifa and the Bha’i Gardens. Learning about the Bha’i religion and the Bab is interesting. The only way to tour the entire gardens is with a member of the Bha’I faith who gives you the tour. It’s truly spectacular and never gets old.
The Baha’i Gardens during the day – it’s beautiful to see and walk throughThe Baha’i Gardens at night – it’s simply spectacular
So how does this all tie back to the mezuzah and hanging it with my friend Amram today? When we purchased our house, the first thing I wanted to do was hang a mezuzah on the front door to mark it as ours. When I created my home office, the first thing I wanted to do was put up a mezuzah to mark the special change in the room. A mezuzah marks your home as a Jewish home. In these times it may be scary to clearly mark your home as Jewish, but as we approach Passover, lets remember that marking our homes as Jewish is what saved the Jewish first born from the angel of death when they ‘passed over’ the homes that had the marking on it. It’s a symbol of pride and of commitment. When I was in Havana a number of years ago, we visited the Hotel Raquel in Old Havana. This Jewish inspired hotel not only had Jewish art throughout and matzo ball soup on the menu in the restaurant, it had a mezuzah on each hotel room door. As we toured the hotel, it was the mezuzah on each door that struck me the most.
Each room at the Hotel Raquel has a Jewish biblical name and a mezuzah on the door
In these crazy times when antisemitism is rising and all around us, Israel is fighting the evil of Hamas and Hezbollah, Iran attacked Israel with drones, cruise, and ballistic missiles, and we see hate all around us, the simple act of putting up a mezuzah is a simple, yet powerful statement. Every time I see the mezuzah on my front door, on my office door, and now on my back doors, it puts a smile on my face. It’s a reminder of what being Jewish means. It’s a reminder that I am part of a mishpacha, a family, that goes back thousands of years and is worldwide. Jewish homes all over the world and for centuries have had a mezuzah on their front door. It is truly l’dor v’dor, generation to generation, strength to strength, that we are here, we aren’t going anywhere, and we will not only survive, but we will thrive.
So if you don’t have a mezuzah on your door and want one, there is now no excuse. MyZuzah will send you one for free and show you how to hang it. You can easily mark your home as a Jewish home and tie it with generations of Jewish homes along with Jewish homes all over the world. Each time you walk past it, you will be reminded of being part of the Jewish people. It’s a pretty amazing little thing that can change your life. Hanging those three mezuzahs today brought me great joy. I hope you choose to hang one and that it brings you great joy too.
I had a totally different topic for this blog post and was in the middle of writing it when the alerts came out that Iran had launched drones at Israel. It quickly became 50+, 100+ and the final report is more than 300 drones. Iran launched cruise and ballistic missiles. Yemen has launched drones. Hezbollah launched drones and rockets. The US came to the support of Israel. American forces intercepted drones in the skies over Iraq and Syria.
This image, from the NY Post, shows where things came from yesterday.
Reports indicate that British fighter jets stationed in Cyprus will assist in intercepting the drones. Jordan launched planes and shot down those that came through their airspace. Egypt closed it’s airspace and said they would destroy anything that came through it. Iran has said they will attack US bases if there is any US offensive involvement. There was no way I could finish the blog I intended to write with this going on.
So, I’m going to write about where we are. These are my opinions. They are my hopes, dreams, concerns, and fears. I will be wrong about many of them, and we will find out in the coming days what I was right about, what I was wrong about, and what things are yet to be determined. I’m going to write them now anyway, even as things are developing moment by moment and by the time this is published, some of what I write may be dated.
Most people expected an Iranian response after the bombing of the headquarters of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) in Syria. The IRCG is a branch of the Iranian military that has been designated by the US as a terrorist organization. The retaliation was expected to happen after Ramadan, so it’s not a surprise that Iran did something. I’m not sure anybody expected that it would 300+ drones with bombs, cruise, and ballistic missiles, or that it would come from Iran, Yemen, and Hezbollah. As I watched TV, last night, reading my WhatsApp updates from both the IDF and the Bernie News Network (an amazing way to get updates), I am filled with so many different emotions.
My first reaction was “this is what happens when you allow evil to remain.” I have written at length about evil and how it needs to be destroyed. The world’s inability to eradicate evil when we see it, leads to things like this. Hamas is evil and must be removed. There are no excuses to not remove them. The leadership of Iran is evil. As Iranian people. I have friends both of Iranian decent and who live in Iran currently and they hate the government. Hezbollah is evil. The Houthis are evil. As long as we are willing to allow evil to remain, to continue, for any reason, we put the world at risk. Yesterday was a good example of why Israel must go into Rafa and eliminate Hamas. It’s why we can’t continue to attempt diplomacy with Iran. Their government is evil and cannot be trusted. They only respond to strength.
My second reaction was to reach out to my family and friends in Israel to check on them. With this many drones and missiles fired at Israel from multiple directions, the entire country is on lockdown. Everybody is concerned. My friends with young children were playing games with them to keep them calm as they were in their safe room. Those with adult children serving in the IDF are concerned not only about their own safety but the safety of their children. Those without children at home were trying to sleep but obviously couldn’t. And my friends that are single were sharing their confidence in Iron Dome, David’s Sling, and the Arrow 3 Israel has in place. I reached out to two friends in the IDF. One responded that ‘it will be a long night’. The other, a high-ranking officer, did not respond as I’m sure he was involved in high level, secret meetings about the response to Iran’s attack, when and how Israel will enter Rafa, or some other critical matter. October 7th was personal for me and many diaspora Jews. The attack today is another personal attack, a day I won’t forget.
Drones and missles over Jerusalem being shot down by Iron Dome and David’s Sling.
As I watched the news, once again I was amazed as people blamed Israel for Iran’s attack. People defending the Iranian government and this massive attack. People trying to separate Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Houthis from Iran. I found myself getting very angry listening to them spin responsibility, saying Israel deserved to have 300+ suicide drones ballistic missiles, and cruise missiles fired at the entire country, targeting civilian and military targets. The video of Iron Dome in effect over Temple Mount is a spectacular example of targeting non-military targets.
Drones flying over the Temple Mount. Thanks to Iron Dome, nothing was damaged and nobody injured.
I think about our US government and those who voted against funding Iron Dome, David’s Sling, and the Arrow 3 technology. These are defensive technologies, designed only to save lives. They have no purpose other than to save the lives of civilians from terrorists firing rockets, missiles, and drones at Israel. The members of the US House and Senate who don’t support Iron Dome funding are even more clearly antisemitic. The only reason to have them is to save the lives of all Israeli citizens and those who live in Israel. When they vote against this funding, they are saying that Israeli lives don’t matter. On a day like today, when hundreds of rockets and missiles are fired at Israel, the need for this technology is even clearer. I’ve written about how October 7th has changed me. The events of today have impacted me as well. Those who won’t support Iron Dome and defensive technology designed to save lives are people who I view as wanting me and all Jews to be dead. If they had their way, many Israelis would have been killed. My friends and family. If I happened to be there, me. And they’d be happy if I was killed here. That makes them people who shouldn’t be in office and who I feel an obligation to do what I can to have them lose their positions. Today, and their actions, have made me an activist.
The Arrow 3 system defeating a ballistic missile in space. This video has gone viral on X with over 850k views since I posted it.
Here is the list of the 9 who voted against Iron Dome and the two who voted ‘present’ in case you want to be an activist as well.
From Top L-R Reps. Jesus Garcia, Raul Grijalva, Rashida Tlaib, Thomas Massie, Andre Carson, Marie Newman, Cori Bush, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Hank Johnson. (Composite/AP)
Israel isn’t alone. Despite some of the challenges with the Biden Administration and the House and Senate, the United States joined with the UK and Saudi Arabia to deploy jets from Cyprus to defend Israel and shoot down drones and rockets before they arrived in Israel. Jordan directly intercepted drones targeting Israel. Egypt closed its airspace and activated its air defense systems. Not too long ago that would have been an unthinkable thing to say. A few days ago, it was Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and Iraq trying to talk Iran into not doing anything. Another unthinkable statement just a few years ago. Both Indonesia and Saudi Arabia are still on track to normalize relations with Israel in the future. Despite the rise in antisemitism, despite the worldwide criticism of Israel in the war with Gaza, despite the negativity Israel faces in the media, Israel is not alone. As Jews, we don’t have to be alone either. We can build relationships with different groups to that we are there for them in their time of need and they will be there for us in our time of need. Just like it took Israel a great deal of effort to make the Abraham Accords a reality and it’s taking hard work to get Saudi Arabia and Indonesia to normalize relations, it takes a lot of hard work to build those relationships. So start now.
A cruise missile shot down in Jordan. 8 months ago, the idea of Jordan helping defend Israel was unthinkable.
While the drones and missiles that Iran fired have largely been neutralized today with minimal damage and injuries, it is far from over. Israel will retaliate. Iran has threated the US directly and any other nation that gets involved to help Israel. Will China and/or Russia get involved? Is this the start of World War 3 or will it pass. Nobody knows at this point but what we do know is that we must remove the evil for if we don’t, it will grow. It will spread. It will come to the United States, and we will face attacks on our own soil. We will be in a far worse position for allowing it to remain than to do the hard work to eliminate it. Eliminating evil isn’t easy. It isn’t pretty. It won’t come without criticism from those who don’t understand the power of evil and the cost of eliminating it. We must do it anyway. The cost of removing evil is less than the cost of letting it remain, grow, and flourish.
As we move into a new day, we have heard that the Biden administration has told Israel that while Israel will always have the support of the US in defending herself, the US will NOT be involved with any retaliation against Iran. Once again, the infatuation of this administration with diplomatic attempts with the Iranian government, who doesn’t believe in diplomatic solutions and only strength, is astonishing. They are correct that the incredible defense by Israel and her allies is a major win against Iran but without a response, Iran will only see weakness. The message they receive is that this time it was stopped but we can do it again and again until it actually works. There must be consequences. The lack of consequences is why the government of Iran continues to terrorize and brutalize their citizens. It’s why they ignore the nuclear sanctions and continue to develop a nuclear weapon. The Iranian government lives by the words my father ingrained in my while I grew up, “Talk is cheap” and “Show me, don’t tell me.” Iran needs to be shown there are consequences and a slap on the wrist or telling them they were bad doesn’t do it. Israel will respond because they understand the need for strength. They understand that without showing strength, you lose. And losing for Israel means not existing.
I spoke to a friend of mine in Toronto late last night. I didn’t realize that while I was captivated by the news and checking on my friends in Israel, in Toronto they were in the streets cheering Iran’s attack. While the Israeli people were being terrorized by the sirens, hiding in safe rooms, listening to the explosions above their heads, Jews in Toronto were being terrorized by people in the streets. This is another example of the power of weakness. I was immensely sad chatting with my friend in Toronto. She shouldn’t have to go through this. Her husband and sons shouldn’t have to go through this. The Jews of Toronto shouldn’t have to go through this. Canadians will support the rights of anybody EXCEPT the Jews. This is the world we live in today and unless we are willing to be activists, unless we are willing to stand up and speak out, unless we are willing to show strength and fight back, we will live in terror. I refuse to live in terror or be a part of allow this to continue. That’s my choice – you have to make your own and live with it.
While Israel survived this first attack by Iran with minimal damage, it is only the beginning. The world must face the fact that Iran is evil. Their own people hate their government and have tried to resist while the world stood by and watched. Now it is Israel who will fight back. Who will escalate the situation. The world can’t sit by quietly. They must choose a side. Let’s hope they choose good over evil. Let’s hope they understand the fight they are in and that the price, while high, to eliminate evil is worth it.
Am Yisrael Chai
PS:
Jews are used to being attacked and persecuted. As such we have developed a sense of humor that even in horrible times, we use to cope. Here are two items that in the midst of this horror, I found amusing and lightened my spirit just a little. I hope they do for you.
6 months ago, I woke to a very different world. I didn’t know it when I awoke that morning. I made coffee, sat down to catch up on the news, and was horrified to hear about the attacks in Israel. I turned on the TV and the only channel covering it well was CNN. I don’t like watching most television news because of the bias, but on October 7, 2023, I didn’t have a choice. It appeared nobody else was covering it well. I was shocked at what I saw and how CNN covered it that day. They acted like a real news network rather than being in the entertainment business.
The horrors I saw on October 7th only got worse as I watched the 47-minute Hamas video, the documentary on the Nova music festival massacre, and heard from survivors on the attacks on Kibbutzim on October 7th and the Nova Music festival. Images and stories I will never forget.
Many of you don’t know this about me, but in the early to mid 1990s I worked with the Department of Corrections. My population for 18 months was solitary confinement, and I did coverage of Florida’s Death Row when the person who had that as their primary job was on vacation. I also worked with rapists and child molesters who were getting treatment to stop offending if/when they ever got out of prison. I spent time with some of the ‘worst of the worst’. I read files of people who had done horrible things. I met with people who did horrible things. While each of these people did horrific things, none of that was as horrifying to me as what happened on October 7th. Working there definitely changed me and it took me 6 months after I left to feel like a normal person again. I’m not sure I will ever be the person I was before October 7th again.
Sundays are when I get my inspiration from songs and music. I debated whether to continue this week with that model or because of the 6-month mark of October 7th, to do something different. I spend time with a couple of Rabbis each week learning and one thing that has come across clearly and that resonates with me is that Judaism believes in hope and gratitude. So I decided to stick with music this week and pick a song that, for me, is entirely about gratitude and reinforces hope.
On day 184 of the hostages’ captivity, on the 6 month mark since October 7th, hope and gratitude are what I need. Hope that the hostages will be released soon. Hope that they are alive. Gratitude for the IDF and all those who risk everything to protect Israel and the Jewish people. Gratitude for our leaders who are speaking out publicly against Hamas and defending Israel’s right to defend herself. Hope that those who aren’t or who aren’t clear will get clarity and fight for good to defeat evil.
Don’t need no five-star reservations, I got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine. Don’t need no concert in the city, I got a stereo and the best of Patsy Cline
Ain’t got no caviar, no Dom Perignon, but as far as I can see, I got everything I want.
It’s a simple beginning focusing on all the things he doesn’t need. All the things that are materialistic but not important. As I sit here on day 184 of the hostages being in captivity and the 6-month mark of the terrorist attack on October 7th, I realize that none of the things that I thought were important on October 6th really are. I would trade the delicious food, the concerts and shows I attend, the nice cars I own for the safe return of the hostages. For the end of Hamas and the end of the war. For the safety of my friends and my friends’ children who are serving in the IDF. For those in Gaza who are innocent and suffering to have food, shelter, medicine, and a government that actually cares for them.
The Bibas kids – Kfir has spend nearly half his life as a hostage of Hamas
I am grateful for the health of my family. For my mom, my in-laws, my siblings and sisters/brothers in law, nieces and nephews, and family that isn’t by blood. I’m lucky that I want what I have rather than focusing on having what I want. The last 20 months, since my dad got sick and then died through the many changes in life, I have paid attention to what is really important to me. Family. Friends. Relationships. Health. As he sings, ‘as far as I can see, I have everything I want.’
‘Cause I got a roof over my head The woman I love laying in my bed And it’s alright (alright), alright I got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it’s alright (alright), alright, yeah I got all I need And it’s alright by me
The chorus reiterates this. The basics are what I need. A roof over my head, somebody I love in my life, clothes, and that powerful relationship. It’s what I need and when I focus on what I need, it’s certainly, “alright by me.”
I have heard the parents of hostages speak in person, on tv, and through interviews. One thing is very clear to me. They would trade EVERYTHING to get their loved one back. I have heard from people who lost loved ones on October 7th – either on the kibbutzim, at the Nova music festival, or trying to save the lives of people being attacked by the Hamas terrorists. They would give up everything to get their loved ones back. Many of them have said they would return to the kibbutz where they lived prior to October 7th but would never live in that house again. They need the roof over their head and the community that they love and love them, but they don’t need that specific home.
I have friends who had loved ones taken hostage that have since been released. When I talk to them, the appreciation they have for their loved one’s release and the empathy from those who have loved ones that have not been released. I have friends who still have loved ones that are hostages and the daily pain they endure is unthinkable. We often have these grandiose things that we want. The nice, new car. The bigger house. The vacation home. The exotic trip. The designer clothes, bag, shoes. I find myself, like the song says, caring about the things that money can’t buy. Health. Happiness. Family. I find myself grateful for the people who care about me and who I have the privilege of caring about. And while I am saddened by the people who I have learned don’t really care, it also frees me up to invest more of my time and my energy with the people who do.
Hila was released after being kept as a hostage the day before she turned 13. The look on her face is priceless as she gets her birthday and Hanukkah gifts from her worldwide Jewish family.
Maybe later on, we’ll walk down to the river Lay on a blanket and stare up at the moon It may not be no French Riviera But it’s all the same to me as long as I’m with you.
May be a simple life, but that’s okay If you ask me baby, I think I’ve got it made.
I have had the privilege in my life to do some amazing travel. Having been to Israel 20 times and my 21st coming up next month isn’t the extent of it. I’ve been to many of the islands in the Caribbean, as a another famous song says, “Aruba, Jamaica” and many, many more. I’ve been on cruises. I’ve been to Mexico and Canada, Italy (more than once), Turkey, Spain, Greece, England, Switzerland, Egypt, Thailand, Bali, and more. Every one of these trips was amazing. I got to see incredible sights and experience incredible cultures and food and meet wonderful people. And yet, I would much rather be with my loved ones and walk down to the lake. I’d rather lay on a blanket together and look up at the moon, spending time with them. I don’t need to go to the exotic places to get those special feelings.
I’m not saying I don’t love traveling (I do). And I’m not saying I’m going to stop traveling (I’m not). What I am saying is that I don’t want to miss the time with family and friends because of some exotic place. I get much more value from meeting my mom for lunch in Lakeland than eating at a café in Venice, Italy. I have more fun eating lunch with a bunch of friends at Portillo’s in Springfield, Illinois than I do at a gourmet restaurant in Istanbul. I love when we cook out at the beach or go as a large family out to dinner during our Greenberg family beach week much more than dinner at Big Itzik in Tel Aviv (and the food there is amazing).
Dinner at Big Itzik (Itzik HaGadol). The food is amazing and the salads are incredible
On day 184 of captivity, on the 6-month mark of the October 7th massacre, I know that the families of those taken hostage or murdered would much rather eat cheese sandwiches with their loved ones than a fancy meal. They’d rather sit in the living room with those in captivity or murdered than take an exotic trip. We live in a world where our priorities are messed up. We now value things so much we forget about the value of our friends and family until it’s too late.
On Friday I learned of the death of a friend and colleague. It wasn’t expected. It was a shock. He was a wonderful man, a friend, a colleague, and just a good human being. Salt of the earth. It was sudden. He was only 5 years older than me. We’ve known each other for around 20 years. It was devastating. It was shocking. I think what bothers me the most is that I don’t remember the last time we spoke. I think it was nearly a year ago in Atlanta. Not for any good reason. Life got busy. We knew we’d talk again. We knew the opportunity would occur. Until it didn’t. I don’t want to live my life that way any longer. I don’t want to regret the call I didn’t make once it is too late. I don’t want to regret the simple text or email to stay connected and make sure those who matter to me know they matter to me. That’s more important than anything else.
When I lay down at night, I thank the Lord above For giving me everything I ever could dream of
‘Cause I’ve got a roof over my head The woman I love laying in my bed And it’s alright, alright, alright, alright I got shoes under my feet Forever in her eyes staring back at me And it’s alright, alright, alright, yeah
I got all I need, yeah I got all I need And it’s alright by me, oh, yeah It’s alright by me, yeah, yeah, yeah
The last few lines and the chorus once again are powerful. God (or the Lord) is a challenging thing to talk about today. It tends to mean you are either an evangelical Christian, far right wing, a terrorist, a racist, you hate people who are different than you, or somebody who is trying to convert others to your beliefs. Yet it really means none of that.
I pray and meditate every day and have for decades. I have a relationship with God that is personal and meaningful. It’s my own and if you ask me about it, I’m happy to share mine and encourage you to have your own. And if you don’t want your own, that’s ok too. I no longer believe in the punishing God that I was raised with. I believe in a God that is loving, caring, and only wants the best for me. And that when the best doesn’t happen, it is never because of God, it’s always because of me. My favorite book, Illusions by Richard Bach, is a thought-provoking book which challenged my conventional thinking about God and the universe. It explores the nature of reality and perceived reality which led me to question my beliefs and consider new possibilities. In it, there are many sayings pulled from the handbook for life. My favorite is:
“Argue for your limitations and they are yours.”
Since reading the book the first time and reading that quote, I have challenged myself to not fight for my limitations and the limitations of God. It doesn’t mean I can do everything or even anything. It does mean that if I believe I can do it, I can do my best and it may just happen. And it may not happen. But if I argue before I do the work, it never happens. There are many of these gems in the book and at one point I wrote them on index cards and carried them with me to remind me of the lessons.
I thank God every day for the blessings in my life. The relationship I had with my dad. The relationship I have with my mom. My family, my wife, my children, my siblings and sister/brother in laws. My nieces and nephews. My cousins. My family that isn’t blood but is just as close. My friends. A roof over my head. Shoes under my feet. Food to eat.
Many years ago, when I was not yet 21, a friend told me to write down what I wanted in the next year and seal it in an envelope. A year later, we opened it together and I was amazing. My list was incredibly short sited. I had asked and hoped for far less than I actually got. I had argued for my limitations when I wrote the list but didn’t in my life. As a result, I got far more.
On day 184, the 6-month mark since October 7th, we can’t argue for the IDF or Israel’s limitations. They can do what they need to do to protect Israel and the Jewish people. They can do what they need to free the hostages. They will do what is needed to eliminate the evil that is Hamas.
At the end of the day, I do have all that I need and it is alright with me. I’m filled with gratitude and hope, despite the horrors of October 7th, the horrors of war, and the captivity of innocent civilians. We, as a people, will continue to survive and thrive and will do what is needed.
Every day I wake up and the war between Hamas and Israel is continuing. The hostages remain in the tunnels in captivity. Some are dead, some being sexually abused, some being physically abused. None getting needed medication. Iran continues to provide resources to Hezbollah in Lebanon and the Houthi’s in Yemen.
I never thought I would say this, but I wish the world was silent about all of this. “Why?” you may ask. Because rather than condemn the terrorists of Hamas who still have American hostages among those they kidnapped, instead of condemning Iran, instead of demanding that the Houthi’s and Hezbollah stop firing rockets at Israel, the world condemns Israel for fighting for survival.
I wish I could say it was just the non-Jewish world. Our history as a people, for thousands of years, has us as our own worst enemies. Facing persecution, facing death, facing evil, we have a history of defending those who persecute and kill us, those who are evil, all while condemning ourselves. I don’t know why we do this. I wish I knew. I wish I could figure out a way to stop it. Just like in Germany, we defend those who hate us all the way into the gas chambers.
I am amazed at those who call this war genocide. The definition of genocide is, “the deliberate killing of a large number of people from a particular nation or ethnic group with the aim of destroying that nation or group.” It is clear that is not what Israel is doing. How do we know this? First because according to the Palestinian Central Bureau of Statistics (PCBS), the Palestinian population has increased about 10 times since the War of Independence in 1948. Even more recently, according to the PCBS, displacement of more than 200,000 Palestinians, with the majority of them to the Palestinian country of Jordan, after the 1967 war, the Palestinian world population was 14 million by the end of 2022. This means that the number of Palestinians in the world has doubled since 1967. That goes against the definition of genocide. Secondly, during this current war, if Israel wanted to destroy the Palestinian people in Gaza, they could have just bombed the entire country and killed all the people there in a matter of days. Instead, they have chosen to be more surgical in their efforts, doing their best to avoid civilian casualties whenever possible. Once again, you do not attempt destroy a nation or group of people by doing all you can to save civilians.
The other thing that amazes me is when people talk about this being the worst loss of civilian life in conflict. The facts simply don’t back that up. According to the UN and the Red Cross, there are usually 9 civilians killed in armed conflict for every military person killed. That means 90% of all deaths in armed conflict are civilians. Iraq Body Count figures from 2003 to 2013 indicate that 77% of casualties were civilians. So how does the war between Hamas and Israel compare? If we use the statistics provided by Hamas, which nobody really believes is accurate, the ratio is somewhere between 1:1 and 1.2:1. That means Israel is 8-9 times BETTER than the world average and 7 times better than the US in Iraq. And that’s using the numbers provided by Hamas!
Estimates put the ration at somewhere between 1.0 and 1.2 civilians per Hamas Terrorist killed in the war, far better than the normal, accepted ration of 9-1
Just this week, Israel tragically and accidentally bombed trucks from the World Central Kitchen, killing 7 of the aid workers. It is a horrible tragedy. There is no excuse for it. And Israel hasn’t made any excuses. Israel admitted it was a mistake and they were in the wrong. They did an investigation, identified what happened, held those accountable whose actions resulted in the bombing and these deaths, and vowed to learn from this mistake. Listen to an interview by friend Fleur Hassan- Nahoum, the Deputy Mayor of Jerusalem. She, and Israel, isn’t hiding from what happened or how awful it is.
Deputy Mayor of Jerusalem and my friend, Fleur Hassan-Nahoum, is brutally honest about the awful mistake in attacking the convoy of aid workers. This is what sets Israel apart – a willingness to admit mistakes, hold people accountable, and learn from their mistakes.
In October of 2015, the US initiated an airstrike against a Doctors Without Borders trauma center and killed at least 42 people including 14 hospital staff members and at least 24 patients. The investigation found that human errors, fatigue, process, and equipment failures were at fault in the deadly airstrike. US Central command said that, “These factors contributed to the ‘fog of war,’ which is the uncertainty often encountered during combat operations.”
In August of 2021, the US made a mistake and fired a hellfire missile in Kabul, accidentally killing 10 civilians, 7 of which were children. When I was attending the Israel-American Council Summit in Austin, Texas last year, my Uber driver had recently gotten out of the military. He was in Afghanistan during this time and during the botched withdrawal of the troops there. The stories he told me were horrible. The mistakes and errors made turned my stomach. I felt terrible about how we, America, treated the people who served in Afghanistan and those who were our allies in Afghanistan. It was understood that we messed up and made mistakes and that this happens in war.
Every other country in the world gets the grace of making mistakes in war. Not Israel, the Jewish nation. Once again, Israel is held to a different standard. I have said repeatedly that war is terrible. We should do everything we can to avoid war. When you can’t avoid war and you must take on evil, you must defeat it. Otherwise, evil continues to grow. Yet in today’s world, it appears there is a desire to have more evil than Jews.
I listen to people like Bernie Sanders and even friends who are Jewish who unfairly criticize Israel. Where was the outrage about the nearly 620,000 people killed in the Syrian civil war? What about the more than 375,000 people killed in the Yemen civil war between 2015 and early 2022? The 30,000 children killed by Assad in Syria. Israel is the target because it is the Jewish state and that is antisemitism and hate.
Bernie Sanders doesn’t get it – he doesn’t understand evil, he doesn’t pay attention to the data, and despite being Jewish, he hates Jews.
We need people like Representative Ritchie Torres, who is outspoken in his support of Israel, the need to remove Hamas, and holding Hamas responsible for this war. He speaks out against conditions of aid to Israel.
Ritchie Torres on Israel (at the 1:20 mark). He is a vocal supporter of Israel and the right to defend herself and the need to eliminate Hamas.
Senator Hakeem Jeffries has spoken out loudly and clearly in support of Israel. Senator John Fetterman has been one of the most vocal supporters of Israel. He speaks out publicly about the need to remove Hamas, the fact that Hamas hides behind human shields, and the need to support Israel unconditionally.
Senator Fetterman speaks about Israel and Hamas at the 2:45 mark until the 5:20 mark. He is a very vocal supporter of Israel, the right to defend herself, and the need to eliminate Hamas.
My own Senator, Rick Scott, has been vocal about his support for Israel. He tweets daily about the hostages, never letting them fall out of our thoughts.
Senator Scott speaking powerfully in support of Israel. We need more leaders to do so.Senator Scott is active on Twitter reminding everybody about the hostages
So now that I’ve written all this, so what? Other than venting my frustrations, anger, and disappointment, what is the point? The point is that each of us have the ability to make a difference. Each of us can learn the truth. Each of us can speak out loudly. Each of us can challenge those we know when they are spewing venom at Israel that is simply wrong and unfair. Each of us can confront those who we hear are speaking untruths, talking points without substance, and spewing hate. If you want to see how it’s done and how it is done well, watch this clip of Douglas Murray during an interview with Al Jazeera. He doesn’t let the person interviewing him get away with the lies and antisemitic comments she makes.
Douglas Murray is amazing as he takes her apart when she lies.
We can support Israel and the hostages. Wear the dogtags that say “Bring them home now” or “We will dance again” or both. Get a yellow ribbon pin and wear it. Put a piece of masking tape on your shirt every day with the number of days the hostages have been in captivity. Buy things from Israel to support their economy. Be loud and proud. The people who hate us aren’t going away. They are going to be out there spewing Jew hatred in the context of Israel at synagogues, JCCs, in the streets, at people’s homes, wherever they can be. If we hide, they win.
Rachel Goldberg, mother of hostage Hersch Goldberg Polin, started the masking tape. This was day 98. We are not past day 180.
When you are able, visit Israel. I have wanted to go since October 7th but have not because my family was worried about my safety. I love my family and was willing to wait so they felt better. I’m not willing to wait any longer. I’m going in May. You can join me if you want – it will be an amazing trip and very meaningful. I’m not sure how I will feel when I go to the site of the Nova music festival or one of the kibbutzim. I’m not sure what visiting Sderot will feel like this time – the police station, always a stop to see the rockets that were fired at them is no longer there. Being there for Yom HaZikaron and Yom Ha’atzmaut will be different this time. It will be the third time I’ve been in Israel for Israel’s memorial day and Independence Day. I already know this one will be different. I am arriving the night before the trip begins and staying two days after. I wish I could go earlier and stay even longer. I’m going on the Momentum men’s trip. Join me. If you are a woman and want to go, there is also a women’s trip and I can connect you to it so you can go.
Unlike the past, we are not powerless. We are not lambs being taken to slaughter. We have the IDF. We have Israel. We have voices and don’t have to allow the lies to be all that people hear. When people cry for a ‘Ceasefire Now’ remind them that Israel has already agreed to the ceasefire, it’s Hamas who hasn’t agreed. Don’t push Israel for a ceasefire, push Hamas. Push Qatar who houses the leaders of Hamas. And remind them that this war can end immediately if Hamas would release the hostages and surrender.
Write and call your member of Congress and your Senators. Your voice matters. Every member of Congress that I have spoken with, every Senator I have met, have said how much those calls, emails, and letters mean. You have a voice, use it. If you think it doesn’t matter or people don’t notice you are wrong. I get asked about the number on the tape or my dogtags all the time. Be inspired by Cincinnati Reds Assistant Pitching Coach Alon Leichman and his baseball glove for this season. He is making a powerful statement, “Bring them home NOW”. You can join in making that powerful statement of support and stand up to the Jew haters who want us all gone.
A powerful statement on his baseball glove
Don’t be silent. Don’t hide. Don’t allow them to win. We’ve been down that road before and it doesn’t end well for us.
I remember being in high school and learning the ancient Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.” and thinking to myself, what could be better than interesting times? I hate being bored, so interesting times would be exciting and fun.
Ah, the naivety of the young.
These are interesting times and as such are not so wonderful times. The rise of hatred over the past decade is frightening. The rise of antisemitism over the same time period and the exponential growth in the past 6 months is overwhelming. I read and listen to so much discussion and none of it seems to focus on the real challenge and the real solution.
We have been taught not to like each other. We have been taught that ‘the other’ is against us, will harm us, and that if they get what they want, we won’t get what we need. This seems to be fairly universal, regardless of who you are and who ‘the other’ is. We villainize them. We make broad generalizations about them. We make assumptions about them. The one thing we don’t do is actually engage with people who are different from us. That one thing we don’t do is the one thing that we need to do.
In November 2019, I had the honor and privilege of participating on an Encounter Immersive Experience. We spent 4 days meeting with, listening to, and learning from members of Palestinian civil society. I said it and used the word – Palestinian. So let’s set some ground rules for the rest of this post.
The Palestinian people do exist. They may have had different names over the years from Arabs to Bedouins, to Palestinians. We, as Jews, used to be called Hebrews and Israelites. Accept the fact that these people do exist, they live in what I will call ‘Greater Israel’, and aren’t going anywhere.
As a result of the 1967 war, Israel conquered territories. This happens in many wars and is a reality of millenniums. The area on the west bank of the Jordan River has different names. For purposes here I am going to call is Judea and Samaria, the ancient names for that land. Some may call in the West Bank. Some may call it Palestine. I am calling it Judea and Samaria.
Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Palestinian Authority (PA) are evil. Most Palestinian people don’t like them. I will discuss this later in this post however understand that there is a difference between Palestinian people and terrorists. If you insist on generalizing that they are all people or are all terrorists, you can stop reading here if you want. There is a difference.
Now back to my 4 days with leaders of Palestinian Civil Society. I remember thinking how 4 days seemed so short. This is such a complex issue; how could we only spend 4 days with them? There were 4 of the most intense days of my life. By the third day I was grateful that it was only 4 days because on how intense they were.
During these 4 days, which I wrote about at the time, and you can find about 17 blog postings in the beginning of this blog from that time period, I had the ability to meet with many different people. I had a chance to ask questions, listen to other points of view, and listed to people who had an entirely different history and narrative than I do. I met people who I really like and stay in touch with even today. I met people who I despised and who I am sure despised me only because I am Jewish. I met people whose effort to change and challenge everything that they know were inspiring. I met people who are a direct cause for the increase in hate, terrorism, and everything that led up to October 7th. I saw things that made me sad. Some were out of necessity, and some were simply terrible government policy. It was a life altering experience that only made me a stronger and more powerful Zionist but also made me a better human being because I began a journey of understanding some of the deep challenges and how much work it will take to find a solution, to make peace, and to get beyond the damage that has been done in the past so that we can live in a different future.
I have written a lot about how October 7th has impacted and changed me. I wrote about what seeing the 47-minute Hamas video was like. Recently I saw the documentary about the massacre at the Nova Music Festival and I shared what that was like. The past 6 months have been focused mostly on being a Jew in today’s world and in the United States. It has been focused on the challenge of being a Zionist, loving Israel, in a world that is openly hostile, willingly believes lies and knowingly uses inflammatory language that is not accurate. I have paid attention to my friends called up in the reserves, their children, either called up or who are currently serving in the IDF. What I haven’t done is think too much about my Palestinian friends and what life has been like for them.
Over the past few weeks, I have been talking a lot with various people about the future. As the US is demanding a permanent ceasefire and a 2 state solution (Hamas is the obstacle to the ceasefire as they have openly called for more October 7th massacres and still are holding hostages), I found myself thinking about who would be that partner for peace. Obviously, Israel and the government have to make their own changes and hopefully that will come soon. But what about the partner? Who would it be? It’s not Hamas or Hezbollah. It can’t be the Palestinian Authority (PA) who not only is corrupt and whose people hate them, still has not condemned the October 7th massacre nor have they had elections in 19 years! So again, who can this partner be?
I found myself thinking of my friend Ali Abu Awwad, founder of Taghyeer, the Palestinian National Nonviolence Movement. I met Ali on that trip and was amazing at what he said. There was real leadership about building a country that would live in peace with Israel. The line he said that I will always remember is, “Peace will not come through Jewish blood. It will come through Jewish hearts.” He then added, “we need to prove to the Jewish people that they can trust us because we have only showed them that they cannot.”
Ali and me together when he visited Orlando and spoke to our community.
Imagine leaders who are not calling for ‘intifada’ or ‘jihad’ but instead are calling for peace and understanding. Imagine leaders who came from a place of hatred and have overcome it to work with Jews, with Israeli, to build a better society. Imagine a leader whose mother was a high-ranking PLO leader, who spent time in an Israeli prison at the same time as his mother and was able to move beyond hatred. Imagine a leader whose brother was killed by the IDF and found peace and acceptance by spending time with a Rabbi whose son was killed by terrorists. That is Ali Abu Awwad. Just before Covid shut the world down, Ali spoke in Orlando. The room was at least half Israeli. They were primed for a fight. They were primed to hear somebody blame Israel and make the Palestinians innocent victims. They didn’t get what they expected. They heard somebody taking responsibility for their part in the hate. They heard somebody who gave hope for a different future.
I realized I hadn’t reached out Ali in quite a while. I hadn’t checked on him and asked how he was doing? then I began to think of some of the other Palestinian people that I met and considered friends. I hadn’t reached out to them either. What type of friend am I to be so overwhelmed with my own grief that I don’t check on my friends. So I began doing so. I reached out to Ali and am awaiting his reply.
I reached out to my friend Mahmoud. His family owns the Educational Bookshop in East Jerusalem. I spent a day with Mahmoud in 2019 walking around East Jerusalem, visiting the Palestinian theater, learning about the Palestinian arts community, and having coffee and a conversation at the bookshop. We finished the day at his home with another deep conversation. I wrote about that day in this blog post.
The day with Mahmoud was difficult and very meaningful. It is something that I think about regularly because of the power of his words. He is not a fundamentalist. He does not hate Jews. He does not want the destruction of Israel. He wants to live freely. He wants a government that represents him and takes care of him. It was very difficult to hear him say that if there was a public works project in his neighborhood, he wouldn’t ask the municipality of Jerusalem to fix it because they wouldn’t. And he wouldn’t/couldn’t ask the PA to fix it because even if they could, they wouldn’t. He felt helpless so he would just get people together to fix it himself or live with it being broken.
Mahmoud and the Educational Bookshop. I look forward to returning for another cup of coffee with him.
He talked about how challenging it was for him to be in West Jerusalem and how he felt there, how uncomfortable and that he was a focus of constant attention. He shared how he didn’t feel he belonged or was welcome there and how much that bothered him. It bothered him so much that he didn’t like going. He talked about how he would go to Tel Aviv, and he felt he didn’t stand out, he wasn’t a focus of attention like he was in West Jerusalem. And how that both made him feel welcome and how it also troubled him – why was it so different? He could disappear in Tel Aviv and just be a person while he felt he couldn’t do that in West Jerusalem. It didn’t sit well with me then – that’s not the Israel I love – yet with the rise of antisemitism in the past six months I have begun to understand it in a way that is very uncomfortable.
I watch what is happening in places like New York, California, Michigan, and Canada, and feel very uncomfortable and unwelcome as a Jew. This isn’t the America that I love. There are places around the world that I won’t visit now as a Jew. This isn’t the world that I want to live in.
I think often of something that Mahmoud said to us in his home. He said that if Zionism means that the Jews have a claim to the land and that the Palestinians also have a claim to the land, then he supports Zionism. It was incredibly powerful when he said it and even more powerful today. When a Palestinian man living in East Jerusalem can come to that type of understanding, it gives me great hope for the future. Zionism isn’t colonialism. It isn’t racism. It is the belief that the Jews have a right to self-determination in our historic homeland. In fact, the Declaration of Independence has some very clear definitions in it that need to be highlighted. They include:
This right is the natural right of the Jewish people to be masters of their own fate, like all other nations, in their own sovereign State.
Simply put, we have a right to our own sovereign State and self-determination. It’s very clear.
THE STATE OF ISRAEL will be open for Jewish immigration and for the Ingathering of the Exiles; it will foster the development of the country for the benefit of all its inhabitants; it will be based on freedom, justice and peace as envisaged by the prophets of Israel; it will ensure complete equality of social and political rights to all its inhabitants irrespective of religion, race or sex; it will guarantee freedom of religion, conscience, language, education and culture; it will safeguard the Holy Places of all religions; and it will be faithful to the principles of the Charter of the United Nations.
While Israel is a Jewish state, it is a place for everybody who lives there. It is based on freedom, justice and peace – this language is very different from the charter of Hamas and the PLO. And it guarantees social and political rights to all. Unlike Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran and others, we do not want to a place for us alone.
WE APPEAL – in the very midst of the onslaught launched against us now for months – to the Arab inhabitants of the State of Israel to preserve peace and participate in the upbuilding of the State on the basis of full and equal citizenship and due representation in all its provisional and permanent institutions.
Full and equal citizenship and due representation. Powerful words. Powerful ideals.
WE EXTEND our hand to all neighboring states and their peoples in an offer of peace and good neighborliness, and appeal to them to establish bonds of cooperation and mutual help with the sovereign Jewish people settled in its own land. The State of Israel is prepared to do its share in a common effort for the advancement of the entire Middle East.
That last line is so important, especially during these times. While we may not have a current partner for peace with the Palestinians, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do our part to find one. The Abraham Accords and potential normalization with Saudia Arabia and Indonesia create even more opportunities. We cannot let the horrors of the past stop us from the beauty of the future. When I think of Mahmoud’s words back in 2019 and Ali’s passion and mission, that’s what I find myself going back to.
We cannot let the horrors of the past stop us from the beauty of the future.
Ali and Mahmoud both want a world where people live in peace, together, building countries that care about their people. They are both incredible leaders with a following. We cannot afford to ignore them and let those who preach hate; Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, the Palestinian Authority, etc., be in control.
Mahmoud and I have been emailing and when I’m in Israel in May, we are planning for me to go visit him at his bookstore in East Jerusalem, walk around the neighborhood once again, talk, share a long cup of coffee or tea, maybe have lunch or dinner, and talk. And talk. And talk. Learn from each other. Deepen our friendship. Because we both want the same thing. A brighter future together.
One of my favorite people that I met on this trip was Mohammad. I wrote about them in this blog post at the time. He and his wife Hiba, and their baby son hosted us for dinner at their home in East Jerusalem. They come from an amazing family. Hiba’s family is the Muslim family that holds the keys to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. It’s an amazing story and if you don’t know it, you can begin to read about it here. They both had Master’s degrees. She worked for the UN, he worked for an NGO that took him into Gaza on a monthly basis. We formed an instant connection and talked at length about the different challenges. The fact that the PA hasn’t had elections since 2005. How corrupt the PA is and how they do nothing for the people except steal money. How if there ever were elections, they could never vote for the PA, meaning that even Hamas would be a better choice because MAYBE they would do something for them (we haven’t talked about that since October 7th and I look forward to it in the near future) while they know the PA won’t do anything. I asked about them running for office and their response was demoralizing as they didn’t believe that they would win and if they did, they wouldn’t be able to do anything without being killed.
Mohammad, Hiba, their son and me at their home in East Jerusalem.
We made a promise to get together again on my next trip so he could take me to his favorite restaurants, bakeries, ice cream shops, and we could continue our conversation. Covid delayed my next trip, but I reached out before it, only to learn that Mohammad and his family had moved to Japan where he was working on a Ph.D. We haven’t been able to coordinate his trips back with my trips back yet, but in our last correspondence we are going to try later this summer when they will be there for a few months. In the meantime, they have a new baby that I want to meet. He offered his home for me to stay when I visit, and I plan to take him up on the offer. This is a beautiful family. Wonderful people. True friends. And Palestinians. It is possible.
The last friend from this trip that I have been in contact with is a woman named Suzan. She is a Palestinian Christian who lives in Bethlehem. She also hosted us at her home for dinner where we had an amazing conversation. She worries about the declining number of Christians in Bethlehem. She worries about the role of women in Bethlehem. She is privileged because she also has a German passport so is able to travel much easier.
Suzan (far left in the black dress) and four of us at her home for dinner.
Suzan is an artist and runs an art studio. The Bethlehem Fair Trade Artisans shop is an amazing place highlighting a variety of artists, mostly women, and I encourage you to check it out and if you see something you like, to purchase it. (Full disclosure – I encourage you to purchase as much as you can from Israeli artists and Israeli businesses. I have purchased many pieces from Israeli artists since October 7th. If you need help finding Israeli artists or businesses, please let me know and I’ll be happy to share my favorites and many others with you.)
Her focus is on women artists and fair-trade practices. She was very frustrated that she was being told by the city government that her future shows and community events could not include Jewish women. She told us that she didn’t care what they said, she was still going to invite the Jewish women to participate. And she was going to continue to sell the works of Jewish women artists in her shop. She didn’t care what they said, she was going to do what was right. What was moral. What was ethical.
Put those words together. Moral. Ethical. Palestinian. Generalizations simply don’t work. There are terrorists. There are people who hate and are evil. I have met many of them, especially on that trip in 2019. There are also many good people. Great people. Caring people. People who you’d want as your neighbor. As your friend.
I hope to see Suzan either in May or later this year. When I met her, it was just after she harvested her Olive trees so I saw the harvest. Maybe this time I can see the trees filled with olives, filled with life. Wouldn’t that be an incredible symbol.
Suzan with her harvest of olives from her trees
These are four examples of wonderful, amazing people. People I call friends. People I would be honored to have as neighbors. People I trust. Good people.
I met terrorists. You can read about my lunch with a member of Hamas, a murderer, and a member of the Al Aqsa Brigade in this post. There is a difference between my friends who are Palestinian and the terrorists. And I met people who were terrorists and are on a journey towards something different. There is hope for the future but only if we are willing to do something different than the past. That difference isn’t just up to us but it can start with us. We can change our language. We can use our contacts to meet Palestinians who want peace, who don’t hate, who don’t support Hamas or the PA, who will invite you into their home, share a meal, a coffee, and who you will come to really like. We can help them rise up and together we can ensure the terrorists aren’t in power, don’t have the ability to kill Jews and oppress the Palestinian people.
I’m not being pollyannish. I’m not being naïve. I am being hopeful. I am talking about creating a systemic change. I’m talking about taking action to stop the funding to UNRWA and the PA. Ensure a new government ‘of the people, by the people, and for the people’ is set up in Gaza (sound familiar?) We can lobby our government to force elections in Judea and Samaria, so Abbas’s 4-year term finally comes to an end before he serves 20 years of a 4 year term. We can encourage the leaders in Israel to work with these leaders who want peace in a methodical manner to build trust. As Ronald Reagan famously said, ‘Trust, but verify’.
The Israeli national anthem is Hatikvah, the hope. Let’s make sure we don’t lost hope. Then the terrorists win and we all lose.
IDF soldiers singing Hatikvah after October 7th just before they prepare to enter Gaza and defend Israel.
I look forward to sharing stories, pictures, and maybe even some videos and conversations with my Ali, Mahmoud, Mohammad and Hiba, and Suzan. As deeply as October 7th has damaged and changed me, I won’t let it drive out hope. Hope in the good people. Hope for a better future. And in the words of Theodore Herzl, “If you will it, it is no dream.” I’m going to put the work in. I hope you decide to as well.
PS
I came across this video of IDF soldiers rapping about the lies that are told about them. It’s very powerful and timely.
Sadly, it was recorded 10 years ago, showing that these allegations have a long rooted basis in antisemitism, Jew hatred, and bigotry. Enjoy the video as it’s powerful.
I have written extensively about how behind the times I am when it comes to music. I recently discovered the 2001 song by Alan Jackson, Where were you? (when the world stopped turnin’). He wrote it about September 11, 2001 not long afterwards and performed it only 10 days later at the Country Music Awards (CMAs). I find it very impactful, not just as it reminds me of what I felt and was going through after 9/11 but also what I felt like on October 7th and continue to feel today.
Jackson said that he had strong feelings and wanted to write something that expressed them without being political or partisan. He wanted it to clearly reflect his thoughts and feelings. This song accomplished that in an incredible manner. Since October 7th, I have been writing to try to do the same. When I heard this song and when I listened deeply to the lyrics, they not only speak about September 11th and the feelings afterwards but easily could reflect October 7th and afterwards. Many Israeli artists have written songs about October 7th and after but I haven’t heard or seen a single American songwriter or singer with the exception of Bono and U2 changing the words of the song Pride: In the Name of Love to reflect October 7th instead of April 4 and the Supernova music festival. You can see and hear the pain Bono is feeling. I remember being incredibly moved when I heard it for the first time and even today, as I listen to it, it brings tears to my eyes. I wish they would re-release it with altered lyrics.
Where were you when the world stopped turnin’ That September day? Were you in the yard with your wife and children Or workin’ on some stage in L.A.?
Most people know where they were on September 11, 2001 as it is part of our American psyche. I know where I was. Who I was talking to. What TV station I was watching. Where I was when the first tower fell. Where I was when the 2nd tower fell. Keeping in touch with my brother, who worked in NYC at that time, to check on his safety. Being grateful that my dad wasn’t flying that day – he had flown the day before. Running a Hillel meant I had students to attend to and their needs. The pain everybody felt was palpable. September 11th and days that followed were filled with hugs, tears, conversations, and questions.
October 7th was very similar for me. I remember exactly where I was, where I sat, what TV stations I watched, and who I was with. I remember sending WhatsApp messages to friends and family in Israel to check on them. The uncertainty of where the attacks were going to occur that day. Was it just going to be near the Gaza envelope? Were they going to be attacked from the north and Lebanon? What was the PA going to do and would we see terrorists coming in from the East as well?
There are moments in our lives that we never forget the details. My wedding. The birth of my children. Family simchas. The last day I spent with my father before he died. Three Mile Island (I lived nearby in Harrisburg at the time). The assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan. John Lennon and Yitzhak Rabin being assassinated. 9/11. October 7th. In one way or another, the world stopped turning on all of those days. Some due to joy, some due to sadness. How the world stopping turning impacted us and what we do with the changes that result is what’s key.
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke Risin’ against that blue sky? Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor Or did you just sit down and cry?
On 9/11, when the first plane hit the first tower, I remember thinking it was an accident. We watched in horror but didn’t realize we were under attack. It wasn’t until the second plane hit the second tower that the shock really hit. Where was going to be next? My brother worked in NYC and his building was attached to Grand Central Station. Was that the next target? My dad was supposed to fly that week and his flight was changed. I tried to remember when it was changed. Was it changed so that he was flying that day? Was it the day before? Was it the day after? What about my friends who worked and lived in NY? Then the plane was crashed into Shanksville, PA and then into the Pentagon. Were there going to be more attacks? If so, where? How?
On October 7th, I sat there in shock. I couldn’t believe what I was watching and hearing. As I communicated with friends and family in Israel, it didn’t get any better. I shouted in anger, in fear for my friends and family. I sat in shock at what I watched and as names were released, prayed that I didn’t know any of them and was also sad that these people, these members of my Jewish family, were killed or taken hostage.
I couldn’t move from my chair in front of the television. I couldn’t change the channel. I didn’t want to talk to anybody as I had nothing to say. It was so unbelievable. When I did talk, it was usually filled with anger at what happened, not understanding where the IDF was. Not understanding how this was continuing as long as it was. Not understanding how it even happened. The more that was reported, the angrier I got at Hamas for doing it and for the Israeli government for missing the signs and for allowing it to happen. I got angry at the Gazan people who were welcomed into the kibbutzim for work and ate dinner with the families that they sold out to Hamas, ensuring their death or kidnapping.
We all have our own way of dealing with this type of trauma. Jackson’s point is that whatever we did, however we dealt with it, is what we needed. He isn’t saying one is better than the other. He isn’t saying if you didn’t do it his way, you were wrong. It’s a recognition that however we dealt with 9/11 or with October 7th, it’s what we needed to do in the moment. And that’s good enough.
Did you weep for the children, they lost their dear loved ones Pray for the ones who don’t know? Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble And sob for the ones left below?
On 9/11 it was common to weep for everybody. Those who were killed. Those who we didn’t know what happened. The families of both. We prayed for the yet to be born children who lost their father on 9/11. And the children who lost one or both parents. We celebrated those who managed to escape and to live. And mourned those who didn’t. We found heroes in the passengers that crashed the plane in Shanksville, PA instead of letting the terrorists crash it into what they wanted, which would have killed more people.
October 7th seems to be viewed differently by many. I recently saw the documentary about the SuperNova music festival. These young people who were there to celebrate music were massacred by evil terrorists. I saw the Hamas video which showed them celebrating the murder of civilians – the elderly, women, children, and adults. Kfir Babis was taken hostage at less than a year old and his brother at 4 years old are forgotten by most of the world. The American hostages have been forgotten by Americans and by our leaders. In Israel, there is an uprising against the government for how they are handling the hostage crisis. Families have been displaced for more than 5 months, both from the Gaza envelope and from the north, where Hezbollah is sending rockets every day into Israel.
The trauma of Israelis is forgotten. The trauma of the diaspora Jews is ignored. The world weeps for the children of Gaza who are dying because of Hamas but ignores the children of Israel who died because of Hamas. The Red Cross still hasn’t visited the hostages, 177 days later. They haven’t received their medication in 177 days. As the father of a child with Type 1 diabetes, I know what would happen if he went 177 days without insulin. After 9/11, America stood together in support of those impacted and those who lost loved ones. We stood together against evil. When it comes to October 7th, that stand only lasted a few days before they became held responsible for their own victimization by evil. It disgusts me. When I listen to Alan Jackson sing these words, I find myself burning inside, wondering why it doesn’t apply to Jews. Why does everybody else matter but we don’t. How can people who supposedly stand for morals, ethics, justice, equality, and the like actually show how fraudulent they are and not be held accountable.
My heart breaks daily for the families of the current hostages. It aches every day for the hostages that were released and their families, for what they must go through. It hurts for the families of the victims and the survivors of the SuperNova music festival massacre. I have a deep hole in my heart and my soul for everybody impacted by October 7th – the Jews, Bedouins, Arab-Israelis, Druze, Bhai’I, and the innocent Palestinians and people of Gaza (because there is a difference between the terrorists and the people). I wish the world mourned with me and stood up against evil. This verse reminds me that no matter how much we want to think that we can just fit in with society, we are always Jews first and the world will always look at us differently. They will weep and cry out for anybody other than us. They will mourn and fight for the rights of everybody other than us. We are the only ones who will stand up for ourselves.
The great Israeli leader Golda Meir had a number of quotes that reflects this reality. They include:
Did you burst out with pride for the red, white, and blue And the heroes who died just doin’ what they do? Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer And look at yourself and what really matters?
After 9/11, American pride was as high as I have seen since the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team beat the Soviets and then won the gold medal. We were united as Americans. Nobody was going to stop us. We were going to kill the terrorists, restore democracy, rule the world. Our first responders were all heroes. I remember the flag from the Twin Towers being flown at Yankee Stadium. We begin singing ‘God Bless America’ in the 7th inning of baseball games. We thanked our soldiers for their service.
The flag from ground zero flying at Yankee Stadium in 2001
We looked to God for answers. As a Hillel Director, it was an incredible time as students flocked to ask existential questions. Nobody was afraid to ask a question and seem uneducated because everybody was asking questions. People reassessed their lives, their values. Seeing these widows and orphans, pregnant women who lost their husbands, hearing the recording from the planes, inspired us all to be better people. “Let’sRoll”, said by Todd Beamer, before he and the other passengers on Flight 93 attacked the cockpit and the terrorists, crashing the plane into a field before it could be used as a weapon, was an inspiration to us all. We asked ourselves what we would do, what could we do, if we were in a similar situation.
October 7th was different for the world. As Jews, as Zionists, we asked where was the IDF. We were united in our grief, not in our dominance. We knew that Israel would respond, that war was here, and that Gaza would be devastated, but we took no pride in that. We took no joy. We wanted our hostages back. We wanted our country back. We wanted to dream of peace back. We sang Hatikvah, ‘Hope’, the Israeli national anthem with hope for the safe return of the hostages, safety for the IDF soldiers who were going to war, hope that peace would come quickly. The heroes we saw were ordinary people who raced into danger to help others.
Bedouins like Ismail Al-Karnawi, who left Rahat with three other family members to head towards Kibbutz Be’eri in order to rescue residents from the inferno. Sari Al-Karnawi, who served as a police officer at the Nova party and rescued partygoers from the attack. Muhammad Abu Najah, an employee of the cleaning company at Nova, who fought against the terrorists, called first responders, and warned others of the presence of terrorists. Omar Abu Sabeelah, who in Sderot heard a woman’s scream and saw Odaya Suissa with her two daughters, aged 6 and 3, and her husband Dolev who was shot dead by the terrorists. Despite being wounded, Sabeelah managed to reach the girls in the car and get them out to safety. He later died from his injuries. Yousef Alziyadneh, who saved the lives of approximately 30 Nova party revelers who were under fire. Anis Abu Dabbus, a senior paramedic crew at the Rahat Magen David Adom station, who acted with his crew in the Rahat and Ofakim area, treating the wounded and providing lifesaving treatment to many.
Heroes like retired general Noam Tibon, who got in his car with his wife and headed towards Kibbutz Nahal Oz, where his son, daughter-in-law, and two young granddaughters were hiding in their safe room as the Kibbutz was attacked and overtaken by Hamas terrorists. Tibon encountered a battle between IDF soldiers and Hamas and picked up a weapon and helped defeat the terrorists. He took 2 of the wounded soldiers to his wife who drove them to the hospital for treatment while he continued on foot until being picked up by another retired general who was answering the call and taken to the Kibbutz. 60 Minutes did a story on his heroism.
Countless other heroes like my friend Yaron Buskila, who left his house without a weapon to fight the terrorists and save lives. Yaron shared a little of what it was like and that little bit that he shared showed me not just his bravery, but the bravery of so many Israelis; Jewish, Bedouin, Arab, and Christian on October 7th.
On October 7th we all looked to heaven for an answer. An answer that will never come. Instead, we began to question ourselves about what really matters. What is important to us and how do we show that. How do we reprioritize our lives around the things that matter instead of the things we thought mattered before October 7th. It’s amazing to have lived in the post 9/11 world and the post October 7th world. Two terrorist attacks. Two tragedies. Two horrible things. Two very different outcomes and feelings.
I’m just a singer of simple songs I’m not a real political man I watch CNN, but I’m not sure I can tell you The diff’rence in Iraq and Iran
I find this to be one of the most profound lines in the song. So many of us don’t know what’s really going on. We didn’t know who the Taliban was before 9/11. We couldn’t tell you the difference between the Shiite country of Iran and the Sunni country of Iraq other than their rulers.
The same holds true after October 7th but it’s even worse. People don’t only know what Hamas and Hezbollah are, they don’t know that Gaza hasn’t been ‘occupied’ since 2005. They use phrases like “From the River to the Sea” and don’t know what river or what sea they are talking about. They use words like Apartheid and Genocide because they sound good and are powerful without understand the facts or definition of those words. They talk about the high number of civilians that have been killed, not understanding that war is terrible and civilians are killed, but that Israel is nearly 9 times better than the norm in minimizing civilan deaths. Instead of addressing the evil of Hamas, people are feeding into ancient Jewish tropes and feeding global antisemitism.
Israel-Hamas figures compared to the normal rates in war
I am concerned that this ignorance, this hate, will result in catastrophic events happening in the United States as we blame the victim and both encourage and allow the evil to grow.
But I know Jesus and I talk to God And I remember this from when I was young Faith, hope, and love are some good things He gave us And the greatest is love
One of my favorite things about Judaism is the way we look to God, to the Torah, for answers. There are always lessons to learn. Since October 7th I have spent much more time asking questions, learning Torah with Rabbis, and working to understand my role as a Jew in this world.
There is a line in Pirkei Avot, the lessons of our fathers, that always speaks to me. It comes from 2:16 and says that Rabbi Tarfon used to say, “It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you at liberty to neglect it.” After October 7th this hit home in a very different way. I am not a soldier and can’t fight with the IDF. I am not an Israeli citizen. I do not have the duty to finish the work of the war. However, I am also not able to just neglect the situation and not do my part. There are many ways to do my part and I have learned that there is much I can do. We all have roles to play and our responsibility is not to do everything but rather to play our part, to do what we can. Speak out. Get educated. Encourage others to learn and not just repeat things they hear.
We can also work to live with faith, hope, and love. This doesn’t mean excuse the behavior of the terrorists or those who repeat the lies because they don’t know better. We can have faith that Israel will defeat evil. We can have faith in God and the IDF. And we can focus on love. Love of the Jewish people. Love of our mishpacha (family). Love of Israel. Love of our family. Love of the teachings of the Torah (which if you know me doesn’t sound like something I would say.)
In these terrible times, in these times of desperation, we can still live with faith, hope, and love. We can choose to look to the future with positivity or negativity. We can do our part to make the world a beautiful, better place or we can allow it to die. The choice is ours.
Where were you when the world stopped turnin’ That September day? Teachin’ a class full of innocent children Or drivin’ down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty ’cause you’re a survivor? In a crowded room did you feel alone? Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her? Did you dust off that Bible at home?
This verse reminds us that the world did stop turning on both 9/11 and on October 7th. We don’t have to pretend that it didn’t. President Bush was reading to a class full of innocent children. We were all doing something when it happened, when we got the news.
President Bush reading to children as terrorists attacked on 9/11
We don’t have to live with survivors’ guilt. I wasn’t living in NY on 9/11 or in Israel on October 7th. Why would I have survivors’ guilt? Because I know people who were. I know people who lost loved ones. My life was altered only in the inconveniences I had to deal with after 9/11. October 7th meant that I didn’t get to go to Israel in November like I had planned. Yet the survivors’ guilt is real because I am part of a community. While I am an American, Israel is my homeland. I have a strong tie to Israel and my homeland, my love, was critically injured and damaged on October 7th. That is where my survivors’ guilt comes from. Because I haven’t been able to go to Israel since October 7th.
There are plenty of times when I do feel alone. People chanting antisemitic tropes. Dressing in Nazi uniforms and flying Nazi flags. When I see friends posting hateful comments that they don’t even necessarily understand are hateful and hurtful. I have learned who my friends really are and who aren’t. This can be painful but it’s also refreshing because I don’t have to include those people in my life any longer.
After 9/11 I made sure to talk to my parents, my siblings, and my loved ones. It was a reminder of how short life is. The same thing happened after October 7th. This type of brutality and horror reminds us how precious life is. How limited our time really is. What and who is really important to us. Last week I reached out to my friends who are Palestinian and live in that area. I wanted to see how they are doing. I wanted to let them know I was thinking of them. I wanted to let them know I consider them my friend no matter what is happening in the world. And that I want to see them when I get to Israel in the near future because they matter. I choose to live in faith, hope, and love, not in hate.
After 9/11 people began asking questions about God and opened a door that had been closed for them. October 7th was the same. The opportunity to study, to learn, to ask questions, and to explore Judaism, God, and spirituality was there and many of us took it. It opened me up to learning more, to being a better person, and to ask why I behave certain ways and is that reflective of the person I want to be. We have an opportunity to do better and to be better. I am taking that opportunity.
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened Close your eyes and not go to sleep? Did you notice the sunset for the first time in ages And speak to some stranger on the street? Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow Go out and buy you a gun?
After 9/11 I know a lot of people who did close their eyes and hope it never happened. People who struggled with sleep. I wasn’t one of them. But after October 7th, I was. I hoped it was a nightmare. I hoped I would wake up and it was only a nightmare. I struggled to sleep and when I did sleep, it wasn’t restful. October 7th was much more personal for me than 9/11. Unfortunately, I think most of the country has forgotten the horror of 9/11 and October 7th happened ‘over there’ and ‘to them’ and doesn’t affect their daily lives.
I have chosen to invest more in random acts of kindness. Today I was at the grocery store behind a couple with a child that has a disability. It meant that they were going very slow. I was stuck behind them. Instead of getting frustrated and trying to push by, I took a deep breath and watched them with their daughter. And found joy in it. Instead of being angry and resentful, I was grateful and filled with love. All because I took a deep breath and didn’t push past them. I say hello to strangers and talk with them as people, not strangers. I will hold a door open, let somebody get in front of me, and enjoy the beauty of the day.
The world is a scary place and has only gotten scarier since October 7th. Being so public as a Jewish leader, I felt targeted and at risk. Long before October 7th, I did get training on firearms and made sure that I have them to protect myself. They are things I hope to only use on the range when I practice. But I won’t be a victim. I won’t allow my family to be at risk from the hatred that exists in the world. And I know I am not alone in these thoughts, concerns, and actions.
Did you turn off that violent old movie you’re watchin’ And turn on I Love Lucy reruns? Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers Stand in line to give your own blood? Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family Thank God you had somebody to love?
This last verse asks what we are doing differently. While there are specific things listed, it’s really about who you are and what you are doing as a result of 9/11 and now October 7th. There are many things I do differently today than I did prior to October 7th. I speak out much more often against antisemitism and hatred. I reach out to those I love and to my friends. I make sure my friends who are different religions, races, cultures, etc. know I care about them and that I am interested in our similarities, not our differences.
Like Pirkei Avot teaches us, I have an obligation to help with the work. So I give blood, hold doors, exhibit patience, spend more time with my family, tell those that I love that I love them. I invest in friendships and allow those that have been shown to not be investable to die so that I am investing in those of value.
I appreciate what I have in my life. I am a rich man because I want what I have rather than having what I want. I am grateful for the life that I get to live rather than worrying about the life I wish I had. I am more connected spiritually and am open to all that the universe brings to me.
I am committed to making the world a better place. That starts with those around me and in my local community. It means doing things for the right reasons. President Ronald Reagan had on his desk a sign that said, “There is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go if he doesn’t mind who gets the credit.” That is how I live my life post October 7th. I don’t care who gets the credit. I don’t care about the recognition. I only care about what we can do together. What we can accomplish. How we can make the world a better place for all.
The paperweight from President Ronald Reagan’s desk
Where were you when the world stopped turnin’ On that September day?
The song ends with the haunting question that it began with. It reminds us that the world did stop turning. Both on 9/11 and October 7th the world was forever altered. We were forever altered. Where were we? What did we do as a result? How did we change? How did we change the world? What did we do to make the world a better place and to get it turning once again.
At the end of the day, all we can control is our own actions. What are you going to do today to make the world a better place? How are you going to change the world today? Remember that just because the world stopped turning on October 7th doesn’t mean we are free from the obligation to make sure it is turning once again. I’m up for the challenge and I hope you will join me.
There are many dates that are significant in people’s lives. December 7, 1941.May 14, 1948. November 22, 1963. April 4, 1968. June 6, 1968. July 20, 1969. March 28, 1979. April 20, 1999. September 11, 2001. December 14, 2012. February 14, 2018. In Seattle, it was July 28, 2006.
All the dates above are significant ones. All have meaning in my life. However, for me, October 7, 2023, is a date that changed who I am as a person. Israel has always been an important part of my life and my identity. I remember the stories of my grandparents listening on the transistor radio on November 25, 1947, as the UN voted on the partition plan to create a Jewish state. My grandparents were passionate Zionists, and both sets of them went to visit Israel. I am the rare American Jew who is the 3rd generation to visit Israel. My first trip was the summer of 1989 and I have been a total of 20 times so far with my 21st planned for this year and hopefully my 22nd and 23rd as well.
As I sat in my living room on October 7, 2023, watching the horrors on television and sending WhatsApp messages to my family and friends in Israel to check on them, I knew that I was different as a result. I could tell that I was changed as a result of what was happening. I will never forget the image shown over and over on television of a minivan on the side of the road. The father was the driver and had been murdered, his head laying against the steering wheel. His young daughter was laying on top of him, also murdered. This was one vehicle among many that were shown. As more information and video came out, the horror increased. I sat in my chair watching the reports and getting live info via WhatsApp from friends. My friend Maor, the consul general from Israel to Florida reached out to check on me and told me to stop watching the news because it was bad for my mental health. But I couldn’t. Senator Rick Scott called me to check on how I was doing. I was both shocked and grateful that he called. I worked with some friends to put together a community gathering to express our pain and anger, to give the community an opportunity to grieve together and hopefully a chance to begin to heal. We had US Representatives there, Florida Representatives there, members of the US Senate sent aides and so did members of the US Senate. Mayor Jerry Demings and his wife, Representative Val Demings came. I don’t remember what I said when I spoke but I remember is was passionate, direct, and was filled with emotion.
When it was announced there would be a rally in Washington, DC, on the mall, I knew I had to be there. I knew that both for my own soul and to be able to answer with integrity what I did after October 7th by my future grandchildren, I had to show up. Being there with 300,000 other people was an amazing experience. We sang Hatikvah together, heard from amazing speakers, carried our signs, chanted “Bring them home” about the hostages. It was a feeling I will never forget.
Riding the Metro to the rally when we broke into song. Am Yisrael Chai!
As time moved on, I learned of 4 friends that had family members taken hostage. Six people taken on October 7th by Hamas. Ultimately, four of them have been released. One turned 13 the day after she was released. Her mom was released day after her birthday. My friends and I put together a campaign to get her birthday and Hanukkah presidents. The video of her with the presents is priceless. It made my heart sign. Even today, watching it brings joy to my heart and soul. This precious child was kidnapped, held as a hostage, kept in tunnels, and was traumatized. To see her smile with these presents warms my being.
I worked with the Israel consulate to host a showing of the 47-minute Hamas video for politicians, law enforcement, and some members of the community. Many told me that they couldn’t watch it. Many told me that I shouldn’t watch it. It was painful to see but for me, bearing witness was essential. There are images I saw that I will never forget. The cries of two little boys after their father was murdered in front of them, one having lost the sight in one eye. Their mother coming to site hours later and seeing her husband lying dead in the doorway of the safe room. Beheadings. Blood smeared all over a room where people were executed. Terrorists calling their parents to brag about how many Jews they killed and hearing the excitement not just in their voice but the voice of their parents. It was the same type of pride I felt with my children when they graduated high school and college except this pride was for the murder of Jews. It was horrifying to see and yet, I can’t imagine having not seen what the terrorists of Hamas did to my Jewish mishpacha (family).
A friend of mine in Israel was recalled into the IDF and was the head of operations in Gaza. He told me about what he did on October 7th to try to save people. He spent 120 days in Gaza, coordinating the efforts to eliminate Hamas and free the hostages. I got occasional messages and worried about his safety every day. After 4 months of service, he was released from service temporarily to decompress. He came to the United States for work related projects and happened to be in Orlando. We had a chance to get together and during that time he shared a bit of what it was like during those 120 days. How many times he was nearly killed. He told me that the flight from Israel to America was incredibly difficult for him because it was the first time he had experienced quiet in 120 days, and he finally had a chance to process what happened. I showed him the video of the little girl opening her birthday and Hanukkah presents after being a hostage. The look on his face is one I will never forget. It’s why he does everything he does.
I attended the AIPAC Policy Summit in Washington, DC, just a few weeks ago. We heard from parents of a current hostage. We heard from a young woman whose parents were murdered while her brother hid under the bed, lying in their blood and urine for hours. We heard from a survivor from the Nova Music Festival. It’s always powerful to hear from our national politicians however it was nothing compared to hearing from those who were impacted by October 7th. On the last morning on the Summit, we learned that a US citizen who was taken hostage was murdered by Hamas. We all gasped at the news and the room was filled with sorrow.
Later that day, I finally went to get the tattoos I had wanted for a few months. One is the words of Mia Schem, a hostage taken from the Nova Music Festival. She said, and then got tattooed on her arm, “We will dance again. 7.10.23”. I proudly have that on the inside of my right forearm. The other one is a tree and under the roots it says NOVA 7.10.23. They are constant reminders to me of the horrors of October 7th, of the rise of antisemitism, how we will always be Jews first and foremost, and that there is no need to hide being Jewish, my pride in my Jewish identity, and the importance of Israel to me.
I felt like I had been through the ringer since October 7th. Powerful emotions, loss, fear, concern, anger, frustration – you name it, I have felt it. I have wanted to go to Israel since October 7th however my family has not wanted me to go yet, so I have waited. It’s been incredibly difficult for me not to go, not to be there, not to take action to do my part for Israel and the Israeli people. The concept of Shalom Bayit (peace in the home) has been more important however it hasn’t been easy. Initially I was going in March 2024 that was postponed until May 2024. That date may even be changed.
So having been through the ringer, when there was a showing this week of the new documentary about the Nova music festival, I wanted to go. I had no expectations about the movie or the speaker afterwards. I think that was good because if I had expected the experience to have the impact that it did, I may not have gone.
The documentary was shown through the eyes of those who were attending the music festival. It’s not what I expected. I didn’t expect it to be quite so ‘first person’ view. You could hear the music, see the dancing, and celebrate with joy the fun those who were there enjoyed. It reminded me of many things I used to do with my friends at that age. When the rockets started at sunrise, it was strange hearing them talk about ‘fireworks’ because we already know they were rockets, but those at the festival didn’t at first. Then they saw Iron Dome taking them out and they still had no idea what was coming. As somebody who knew what terror was about to happen, it was hard to watch them in real time, make assumptions that we all would have made at that time. You begin to see the terrorists arrive on bikes, trucks, and gliders. You hear their joy and excitement because they are about to murder and rape and kidnap Jews. I saw that in the Hamas video, but this one was different as it contrasted with those attending the festival. Flipping back and forth between the arriving terrorists and the festival goers who didn’t know what was happening truly felt like a horror movie.
As they began to run and hide, the videos shown were more from those hiding. You could feel their anxiety as they recorded messages. Some send goodbye messages to their families. Some spoke to their parents who begged them to hide, play dead, do anything to survive. The one thing that really hit home was their expectation that the army and the police would come rescue them. As Ambassador Michael Oren has said, it was part of the covenant between the State of Israel and the people. The army, the IDF, would always be there to protect them. On October 7th, they weren’t. Not only could you feel the loss of trust from those hiding, I felt it personally. I always had incredible support and admiration for the IDF. High expectations. We don’t know what happened or why they were so unprepared on October 7th but the reality is they were unprepared. They weren’t there when they were needed. That loss of trust is palpable. It doesn’t surprise me that over 300,000 reservists returned to duty after October 7th, more than were recalled and far more than were expected.
There is a saying in the Talmud, “Kol Arevim Ze LaZeh (or BaZeh depending)”. It means “All of Israel (or all of the Jewish community) is responsible for each other.” It’s commonly said by Rabbis during a sermon urging us to do a little bit more. On October 7th, it showed me what it really means. We are all one. What happens to one of us happens to all of us. If we don’t stand together to take care of each other, nobody will stand with us and we will all fall. It’s why I have struggled with not going to Israel since October 7th. In my heart, in my soul, I need to be there helping in any way that I can. I also need to be here with my family. It’s my own internal struggle that I face and deal with on a daily basis.
The end of the movie is when the IDF does finally show up, approximately 7 hours after the attack began. I have seen this footage before and in the movie, they chose to blur out the dead bodies lying around the festival. The footage I saw showed the bodies. It was horrific. You could hear the urgency in the IDF soldiers voices as they cried to out for any survivors. Is there anybody alive? And reporting to everybody else that everybody they found is dead. It’s a sobering sight. It reminded me of the pictures from US soldiers discovering the Nazi death camps but now in real time for me. The first time I saw that footage, I was struck by the number of people who were murdered, who were lying there dead only because they were Jews. This time it was the voices of the IDF soldiers, devastated that by the time they arrived, there was nobody to save. I felt their failure through their voices. The breaking of that covenant. The change occurring for all Israelis and Jews in the diaspora. The need to look deep within and ask, “What am I doing? How can I help? What’s my obligation?”
WARNING – The video below is GRAPHIC. You may not want to watch it.
THIS IS GRAPHIC – THE IDF ARRIVES AT THE NOVA MUSIC FESTIVAL TO FIND EVERYBODY DEAD
The movie ended, the lights turned on, blinding us for a moment. I think we needed that moment of blindness to return us from the horrors occurring at the Nova Festival on October 7th to the current day.
Lee Sasi, a young woman from Los Angeles, who is a survivor of the Nova music festival massacre, took the podium and began to speak to us.
Here is a video interview she did with Jake Tapper of CNN on October 11th. The story she told us was similar to what she shares here, only with more detail. The way Jake Tapper is stunned and doesn’t know what to say is how we felt listening to her months later. Her pain, expressed days later, was no different when she spoke to us.
I get angry when I hear about Israel’s ‘indiscriminate killing’ of Gazan citizens, because it’s not true. The data, even using the numbers provided by Hamas, shows that the civilian to military casualty rate is approximately 1:1, one of the lowest ever. The UN reports that the normal rate is 9:1, meaning 90% of all casualties in war are civilians. This means that Israel is 9 times better than the accepted ratio by the world. War is awful and innocent people die. It’s why we need to try to avoid war at all costs. But when we can’t, we have to fight the evil. Hamas is the evil that is involved with indiscriminate killings. Listen to Lee’s description of how the terrorists fired into the bunker of civilians. How they threw grenades into a mass of civilians. How they executed a man in front of the bunker as he yelled to them in Arabic, “I am an Arab, I am an Arab.”
Listening to Lee speak about what happened at the Nova festival and the horrors and evil of Hamas impacted me deeply. It became more personal than before. It reinforced how essential it is that we fight against evil because if we don’t eliminate evil, if we allow evil to live, it will grow. And evil will destroy all of us, just like Hamas executed the Bedouin man outside the shelter who was yelling to them that he was an Arab. Evil doesn’t care.
We see this in our own country as people are choosing to attack Jews in the name of Palestinian freedom. How does a synagogue being attacked help the people of Gaza? How does protesting a Jewish actor just for being Jewish, not for any statement or action, help get food to the people of Gaza? How does blocking streets in America help stop the corruption of UNRWA who isn’t delivering the humanitarian aid to the people of Gaza and instead is giving it to Hamas who is keeping it or selling it on the back market? Listen to what the people of Gaza are saying. The humanitarian aid costs too much to buy. IT’S FREE unless Hamas is stealing it. The food packages don’t include any meat or protein. That’s because HAMAS IS STEALING IT.
I worry about not just the future of Israel but the future of the United States, of Europe and of the world. We are allowing evil to win. Hearing Lee Sasi share her story forces me to increase my efforts to fight evil. After coming home from the event, I reached out to friends of mine who are Palestinians in Bethlehem, East Jerusalem, and Beit Jala. I wanted to check on them, reaffirm our friendship, and set up a time for us to talk about what the future may look like and what we can do together, to fight evil and change the world. I urge you to do the same with your friends, wherever they are. Start in your local community. Reach out to people who are different than you and get a cup of coffee. Have a conversation. Begin by agreeing that you want a better world and perhaps you disagree on how to get there. Start the process.
We owe it to Lee Sasi, her uncle who sacrificed his life to save hers and others, and all those murdered on October 7th to make the world a better place. We owe it to all those who have lost their lives as a result of the evil of Hamas to not let their deaths be in vain. We can change the world but it takes our effort, our commitment, and our dedication to make it happen. We need all of us to do our part.
I have hear this statement a great deal lately. Most often it has related to the heroes of the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) who are defending both Israel and the Jewish people in a war against evil. The specific names today are Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, and Iran. It is an age old hatred that threatens not just the Jewish people but the civilized world. This video expresses it well.
These aren’t the only superheroes that don’t wear capes. They live among us and too often we don’t even realize it until they are gone. On Sunday night, a childhood friend posted an update about one of them. Unfortunately, it was the news of his death. The gratifying part of seeing this post was that his impact had been so great for so long, that we didn’t just realize that we knew an actual superhero that didn’t wear a cape upon his passing. So who was this amazing person?
Richard Rome was a middle school math teacher. Let that sink in fully. The superhero without a cape that I am talking about taught 6-8 grade children math. He was my teacher somewhere between 1978-1981. Middle school math. That’s what he taught. In the 1970s and 1980s. 40-50 years ago. Or at least that was what he formally was tasked with educating us about.
Even his obituary is teaching us something as it tells us to plant a tree.
Mr. Rome, as we all called him both in class and for the next 40-50 years, was so much more than a math teacher. While we were formally his student, he was a human being, a leader, a role model, a friend, a mentor, and a person who made math important, understandable, and relatable. While he cared about teaching us math and helping us understand the broader implications of it, he cared more about molding us into good human beings.
Mr. Rome’s middle school math class in the late 70sMr. Rome’s ‘math humor’ was decades ahead of ‘dad jokes’ and always made us smile no matter how old we are.
People often talk about finding something you love to do, and you’ll never work a day in your life. While I believe that Mr. Rome did truly enjoy teaching math, I don’t think that is what he loved to do. I think he truly loved being able to have an impact on young people’s lives and help mold them into good citizens, good people. I think over the years, his true joy came from hearing stories about our lives, our children, our spouses, and for many, our grandchildren. What makes me think this? It’s actually pretty easy to come to this assessment of Mr. Rome. It’s because so many of us still kept in touch with him. How many people in their mid to late 50s or early 60s keep in touch with their MIDDLE SCHOOL MATH TEACHER? That’s exactly the point. He wasn’t just a math teacher. He knew it. We knew it. And all of us appreciated it. I went to his Facebook page today to see if there were any other updates. What I saw was amazing. It wasn’t a formal posting but rather that we had 63 friends in common. This means that there are 64 of us from his class in 1978-1981 who were still connected to him. What a legacy – that 45 years later, so many of your math students are still connected to you. I promise you it wasn’t about math and any math questions we had for him were entirely so we could help our children or grandchildren with their math homework!
Mr Rome surrounded by studentsMore studnents with Mr. Rome.
Mr. Rome posted this exchange with permission from a former student a while ago. It’s how we all feel about him which is why I want to share it with you.
I asked one of my former students if I could post this so everyone could read exactly what she wrote to me. She sent me this on FB messenger. I appreciate it so much:
“Let me tell you. You singlehandedly are responsible for the most positive experience with Math I’ve ever had. Through that experience, you are indirectly responsible for my career path and choices. It is my pleasure to help you in your time of need. I may not have been the best or most docile math student, but you let me conquer the obstacles in my path. Thank you sir for your dedication to all the students at Susquehanna. I’m so lucky to have been able to have you as my teacher. My thoughts and prayers for your improved health and recovery'”
“Kim, ahh, thank you so much for the kind words. I deeply appreciate it. <smiling>”
“Your teaching means a lot to your students.”
He liked to share his math humor with us as kids and as adults. A few things that he said that make me smile and remember why his class was one we all liked are:
To My Former Math Students: In honor of 3/14, I will repeat what I told every one of my math classes. Pie R Round; Cake R Squared. <smiling>
Also, remember the formula for Circumference of a Circle C = Pie x D, or C = who ate D Pie!
I went back to our last Facebook messenger chat, regrettably too long ago. There are two comments that jump out to me. More than 40 years after being in his class, Mr. Rome stated,
“Keith, I was wondering why I did not hear from you. I trust you and your family are well. Take care, Keith.”
So 40+ years later, he honestly wondered why he hadn’t heard from me. That’s the relationship he had with his students. After I explained what had been going on in my life and why I hadn’t reached out in a bit, he replied,
“That’s ok. As long as you are healthy, that is what it is all about, Keith <smiling>”
So, he wasn’t so talented with the use of emojis, he knew how to communicate. I updated him about my family and particularly my children and what they were doing, and he responded.
“Keith, congrats “big fella.” <smiling>”
I wonder how many of his other students he had similar conversations with on a regular basis. More than I can imagine. A superhero without a cape.
Over the last few years, Mr. Rome began have some health issues and related financial issues. His MIDDLE SCHOOL MATH STUDENTS, now in their 50s and 60s, created a GoFundMe for him. I see this happening when active teachers have family, health, or economic challenges. I have never seen it for somebody who many of us haven’t seen in person for 30 or 40 years. As Kim wrote to Mr. Rome, he changed not just her life but all of our lives. And he continued to teach us throughout life.
Mr. Rome math humor was years ahead of being a ‘dad joke’.
Every year near Christmas, Mr. Rome would post this story about his parents and his childhood. Even though he had retired from teaching many years ago, he knew he could teach us how to be good people, good human beings, and to improve our portion of the world. He always took advantage of the opportunities to help us to be better people. At 56, Mr. Rome continues to teach me. There are so many lessons that even though he won’t physically be here to teach, he has inspired others to teach on his behalf. Here is his reminder every year about making a difference in your community.
There is one day of the year that I miss my mom and dad even more that the rest of the year My father, Earl Rome, along with his brother, Isadore Rome, owned and operated an independent supermarket, Rome’s Superette. Every Christmas Eve they would host a Christmas Eve informal get together. Usually, around 250 of his loyal customers would drop in and relax and unwind before mid-night Mass. My mother would make all kinds of little finger sandwiches, Mrs. Boyle would bring her famous chopped liver mold, and many of their customers would bring bottles of booze to share. My dad, being Jewish, had a customer base that was 95 percent Christian. Some of his bigger customers were Catholic Churches.
That was back in the day when churches had large rectories, including lots of priests and lots of nuns. St. Ignatius Church was my dad’s best customer. They had a large parish, and, at the annual Christmas Eve party, usually Monsignor Gagen, along with a few of his priests, would attend the party. It was my job to usher the Monsignor out the back door so that his parishioners would not see him stone cold drunk. What was funny was that all members of his church knew he drank like a fish, but we kept up the pretense. anyway. It was the one night of the year that my father, may he rest in peace, got loaded. His favorite line of the night he used at every party was “Open up your song books to hymn number 64. If you do not like hymn number 64, we can sing hymn number 32 twice.”
My dad, a Jewish businessman, had a great relationship with the Catholic community. When he died in 1976, at the age of 62, over 1500 people came to the Shiva, including the Monsignor and a number of priests and nuns. I often “hark back” to those days and smile. The true meaning of brotherhood and what most religions preach was evident on Christmas Eve, at Rome’s Superette, in Kingston, Pa, for 44 years, ending in 1976.
As I read this story once again, the day after gathering with friends for Purim, I wonder what the world would look like if we all gathered for these types of celebrations, regardless of our religion. If we truly created local communities of people who got to know each other as people, could we put an end to the growing hate that poisons our world? It’s a conversation I’d like to have with Mr. Rome. It is one that I will have with my local community leaders to see how we can replicate what used to happen in Kingston, PA until 1976.
As I said, Mr. Rome was more than just a middle school math teacher. He taught us his entire life. Here is another lesson from Mr. Rome. Notice that even though we are in our 50s and 60s when he wrote this, we are still ‘boys and girls’ to him.
I chose this picture because I can imagine him sitting like this in front of us while telling us this story.
Good Morning Boys and Girls. Rather than teach a lesson involving grammar or math, I am going to tell you a story that is fitting during the holiday season.
1967 was my first year of teaching. I taught 6th grade at Sara Lindemuth Elementary School. The other 6th grade teacher was Mrs. Sollenberger. It was the last day before Christmas vacation. Both 6th grade classes had a combined Christmas party. The kids all brought a gift that cost 50 cents and each child got to pick out a present. The kids wanted Mrs. Sollenberger and me to open our presents. Mrs. Sollenberger went first. There were the usual assortment of gifts. She opened her gifts and thanked each kid as she read the card that accompanied each gift. The next gift she opened was wrapped in a small box. When she opened the box and read the card, there were chuckles and some of the kids were laughing. In the box was an old pin. It was ugly looking and some of the stones were missing. When she read the card, she realized that this gift was from Debbie. Debbie was the daughter of migrant workers. Her clothes were usually dirty, and her hair went often times, unwashed. Debbie was not a very good student and let’s just say she was not the most popular girl in 6th grade. It was at that moment when Mrs. Sollenberger did something I will never forget.
She told Debbie that her present was her favorite of all the presents she received. She made a point of asking Debbie to pin the pin on her dress. The smile on Debbie’s face said it all. She was so happy. It took a few minutes, but then the other kids got involved in the spirit of that moment and what I observed was like a transformative moment in time. One girl told Debbie that her pin was so pretty. Another girl said to Debbie that I can see why Mrs. Sollenberger liked her present best of all. Several kids asked Debbie if she wanted some extra Christmas cookies. Kids can be very cruel sometimes. But in this special moment, even some of the boys who often picked on Debbie and made fun of her, were actually nice and a few of the boys said some nice things to Debbie. For the first time in her life, Debbie was the “star of the show.” Almost every kid in class joined in the fun. Mrs. Sollenberger continued to make a “big deal” about Debbie’s pin. Debbie could not stop smiling.
When it was my turn to open my presents, in my mind I thought, how am I going to react when I open the present from Debbie? In a small box was an old rusty tie pin, shaped like an arrow. Following Mrs. Sollenberger’s example, I told Debbie that my father had a tie clip similar to this one and I always loved it. I wore the tie clip the rest of the day. I take no credit. Mrs. Sollenberger is the one that set the tone. Mrs. Sollenberger then did a special arts and crafts project with the kids. She told them they had to work in pairs. It was both heartwarming and amusing when the kids started fighting over who would be Debbie’s partner. Finally, the school day was over, and the kids were dismissed. I had a moment with Mrs. Sollenberger, and I said to her “Mary, you made one kid very happy today. She will never forget this day.” Mrs. Sollenberger just smiled and said thank you.
The kids returned from vacation and, for the most part, nothing out of the ordinary happened the rest of the school year. Occasionally, Mrs. Sollenberger and I wore our presents from Debbie, and she always smiled more than usual on that day. I would like to tell you that Debbie’s “one shining moment” continued, but that was not the case. Debbie’s grades did not really improve. Her clothes were still dirty, her hair went unwashed. She was usually quiet and did not have a lot of friends. Mrs. Sollenberger is long gone. May she rest in peace. Debbie’s family moved out of the school district, and I never heard from her again. I would like to think her life has been filled with moments that were more positive than negative. Debbie had a tough life as a child. But there was one moment in time when Debbie was a star. She had a huge smile on her face, and I have a feeling she will remember that day, always. Her teacher, with one simple heartfelt gesture and some kind words, made Debbie feel extra special. That day, Mrs. Sollenberger exemplified what it means to be a teacher. I have never forgotten that moment that happened almost fifty years ago. Take care.
I hope you can get a sense of how special a man Mr. Rome was. How he impacted lives when we were in 6-8th grade and how that impact continued throughout our lives. How it shaped us into being better people. I look at some of my friends from that time and see how they have chosen to impact the world and it is all truly a tribute to Mr. Rome. It doesn’t matter what their success in life has been, it seems they all find some way to give back. They find some way to try to help a Debbie that they encounter or inspire a Kim in her life’s journey.
The world lost a legend at the end of last week when Mr. Rome died. Yet he continues to live on through all of his ‘kids’ that he invested in and that invested in him as well. He lives through our volunteer week, our charitable giving, the way each of us, in our way, does what Mr. Rome taught us. Not math. He taught us to be good human beings. He taught us to care about other people. He taught us that no matter what the seemingly reason we were together (in his case teaching math) we are really together to build relationships and to build friendships. We are there to better ourselves, better the lives of those around us, and better the world.
Thank you will never be enough Mr. Rome. While I only had you as a math teach for 2-3 years, I have had the privilege of having you as a life teacher for 45 years and as a friend for nearly 40 years. And although I am not a teacher in a school, I will do my best to honor you and what you invested in all of us to continue to invest in ‘my kids’ for the future as they have a piece of my heart just as you do. Rest in Peace Mr. Rome. Your memory will always be a blessing to so many people Baruch Dayan HaEmet. Your legacy is secure. I’m gonna go and be a little teary now because you taught us all that’s ok.
In the early to mid 1990s, Hootie and the Blowfish hit the scene with some great music. The lead singer was of course Hootie. Except he wasn’t. His name is Darius Rucker but even today, people still refer to him as Hootie. Until he transitioned from rock/pop to country music. It seemed to be a strange transition and as a fan of Hootie and the Blowfish’s music, I wondered if I would enjoy the new Country Music of Darius Rucker. I didn’t expect that I would. And I was wrong – I love it! He takes the best of his music style and adds the country music twist to it to create a new sound that also has the deep lyrics and messages of country music. This week, I decided to analyze the lyrics from his 2010 hit, This.
The song begins:
Got a baby girl sleepin’ in my bedroom And her momma laughing in my arms There’s a sound of rain on the rooftop And the game’s about to start I don’t really know how I got here But I’m so glad that I did And it’s crazy to think that one little thing Could have changed all of this.
I love that the song begins with such a normal setup. A child asleep in the bedroom. Her mother laughing in his arms. It’s raining outside and he can hear the patter of rain hitting the roof. So many of us have been in that exact situation in our lives many times. I can’t think of the number of times I was sitting on the couch, the kids asleep in their rooms, my wife in arm on the couch, as it was raining outside, and we listened to the rain hitting the roof. The only thing missing in the song, ironically for a country music song, is the dog laying on the floor by my feet! The normalcy of the situation is comforting. The game is about to start. Such a beautiful image in the first 4 lines.
I am sure most of us can related to the next line. I don’t really know how I got here. When I look back at my life, it’s hard to believe how much time has passed, where I am in my life, and how I got here. It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was in middle and high school. The big party I had at my house in Harrisburg that we still talk about seems recent, not 40 years ago. How can anything in my life be 40 years ago? Married for nearly 26 years? Two kids in their 20s, one a college grad finishing his master’s degree while the other is about to start his senior year of college. Friends from 30 and 40 and even 50 years ago that are grandparents now. I remember being in high school and listening to the Talking Heads song Once in a Lifetime and singing out loud the famous line, “And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?” Now I find myself truly asking, “How did I get here?”
I love the last 3 lines. First, I am so glad that I am where I am. Truly grateful. When I look back upon my life, there were many decision points that led me to this place at this time. And in a vacuum, I might go back and change a number of them because in hindsight, by themselves, they may not seem like the best choice. I look back and wish that I had spent a semester studying in Israel during college. I wish that I had done a gap year after college in Israel and perhaps served in the IDF as a 21 year. I made career decisions throughout my life that when I look back, I wonder what it may have been like had I chosen differently. But in the end, I am grateful I am here and had I not made every one of the choices that I did, I wouldn’t be right where I am today. Had I spent a semester abroad in college, maybe I would have done the gap year and served in the IDF. Maybe I would have made Aliyah after that. I’d have missed time with my grandparents and parents. I’d never have met my wife or had the children that I have. So yes, it would be meaningful to have had that experience, but I wouldn’t trade having that experience for the life I have today. And that’s the reality of the end of the verse. It is crazy to think that one little thing could have changed everything. Studying abroad for a semester in 1987 or 1988 may have led to me making Aliyah, having a completely different life, wife, and children. Choosing to stay in accounting rather than go back to get my Master’s Degree in counseling would have led to a different career, not moving to Florida when I did, and another totally different life. We make so many decisions every single day and never realize just how important and impactful each one is to the life we end up living. And I love the life I have today and am grateful for every decision that has led me here, even when the results ended up not being what I wanted at that time, because the results ended up getting me here, where I am grateful to be. That is the butterfly effect – the idea that small things can have non-linear impacts on a complex system. The concept is imagined with a butterfly flapping its wings and causing a typhoon.
Maybe it didn’t turn out like I planned Maybe that’s why I’m such, such a lucky man
For every stoplight I didn’t make Every chance I did or I didn’t take All the nights I went too far All the girls that broke my heart All the doors that I had to close All the things I knew but I didn’t know Thank God for all I missed ‘Cause it led me here to this
There is no question that it didn’t turn out like I planned. And no question that it is why I am such a lucky man. I have learned over the years that my view of things tends to be very short term. I can never really see the long-term impact of regular decisions until much later when life plays out. Seemingly insignificant choices end up with huge, often life altering, results.
When I was in Seattle, we came back to Florida to visit my parents in Tampa. As it happens, one of my dear friends, Sandy, was in the hospital in Tampa because she was having problems they couldn’t figure out. Her husband Ron, one of my best friends in the world, let me know where they were, so I went to see them. During my visit to their room, the doctor came in with a devastating diagnosis. Glioblastoma. 6 months to live was the normal expectation. As we all stood there in shock as this vibrant, healthy woman received terrible information, I was able to be the one there for both Ron and Sandy to help them process this shocking information. I had moved across the country to Seattle. I just happened to be visiting Tampa when she went to the hospital, in Tampa (they lived in Winter Haven). And I happened to be visiting at the exact time when they got the diagnosis. What are the odds? Nearly 5 years later, as Sandy way outlived expectations, I called to say my goodbyes. She couldn’t speak to me but could hear me as I talked to her. About 30 minutes later, she died. Again, what are the odds? If I had done an errand before calling, I would have been too late. As the song states in this verse, “For every stoplight I didn’t make, every chance I did or I didn’t take, all the nights I went too far, all the girls that broke my heart, all the doors that I had to close, all the things I knew but I didn’t know.” Every single choice we make in life takes us on the path we are supposed to be on and makes us who we are today.
Ron and Sandy – love them both and the role I got to play in their lives
My senior year of college, my girlfriend and I were very serious. We went looking at engagement rings together, found one she loved, and I almost bought it. She wanted me to buy it. The jewelry store owner wanted me to buy. I even wanted to buy it. And the owner of the store made it financially possible for me to buy it. But for some reason I didn’t. About two months later we ended up breaking up and my life went on a different path. How different would my life be today if I had bought that ring? Would we have gotten married? Had kids? I believe we would have ended up being divorced. Would I ever have moved to Florida? Certainly not in 1992 like I did. My career path would have been different. Everything about my life would have been different with that one different choice.
So, like the song says, Thank God for all I missed, ‘cause it led me here to this.
For many, many years I have believed the life is a tapestry and we only see the back end as we move along. We see the flaws. We see the strings and the extra yard or wool or silk. It isn’t until we reach the right point that it is turned over and we see the beauty that we have created by living through what we saw as the mess. Darius Rucker hits it right on the head with this song – everything we have today is because of every single small decision point along the path of life. There is no need to regret any of these decisions because we wouldn’t be who we are, we wouldn’t be where we are, without every single one of them.
This is the back of the tapestry and what we see most of the time. It isn’t until it’s flipped over that we see the real design and beauty. God knows what it really looks like all the time while we see the mess. Trust in God because he knows the real beauty all the time.
Like the girl that I loved in high school Who said she could do better Or the college I wanted to go to Till I got that letter All the fights and the tears and the heartache I thought I’d never get through And the moment I almost gave up All led me here to you I didn’t understand it way back when But sittin’ here right now It all makes perfect sense
This verse gives us more examples. It’s as if he knows that we will struggle with accepting that every single choice along the way is what got us here. And that by changing any single one of them, we won’t be who we are, where we are, today. In high school, I fell in love with Duke University. I had my heart set on going there. I applied early decision and wore my sweatshirt that my mom and I bought on our campus visit every week at a minimum. I was 100 percent sure that I was going to Duke for college. I applied a few other places, but I knew I was going to Duke. When I studied abroad in November 1984, I got my acceptance letter to Penn State. My friends who were in England took me out to celebrate, but honestly, I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to Penn State. I was going to Duke. What did it matter that I got in there? Of course, as you have realized, I didn’t get in to Duke. I ended up going to Penn State, where I met my best friends who are like brothers to me. My life was completely altered for the better because I didn’t get what I wanted and got what I needed. If I could go back and change things so that magically I would get into Duke and go there, I would not do it. I would be a completely different person living a completely different life if I had a gone to Duke for college. And I like who I am today and the life I have today. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Life has its ups and downs and plenty of challenges. As the song says, there were plenty of times that I wasn’t sure that I would be able to get through whatever it was I was facing at that time. I remember a number of them, as I sat alone, crying, and wondering what was going to happen now. I almost gave up many times in many situations. But I didn’t give up. I did manage to make it through. The same as many of you reading this were able to get through the things that, at the time, you thought were insurmountable. In fact, as we look back, we may even find it silly that we thought we couldn’t get through these things, but that was who we were at that time. As we sit here right now, it makes perfect sense. Yet tomorrow, when we face the struggles and challenges that arise in our life, will we be able to remember that it really does all make sense, just not today? Will we remember to thank God for all we miss, for the windows that open when the door we preferred gets shut? Or will we be stuck looking at the back side of the tapestry, thinking that the mess we are looking at is really the art that will be final?
Oh I cried when my momma passed away And now I got an angel Looking out for me today So nothing’s a mistake
I have reached a point in my life where I know that I am closer to the end of it than the beginning. It’s not as depressing a thought as I expected it to be. As I look back, I am so lucky to have had so many amazing people in my life for the time that I had them. Grandma Esther and Grandpa Si. Grandma Ev and Grandpa Len. Grandma Rose. Grandma Florence and Grandpa Morris. Grandma Cora and Grandpa Ralph. They are my grandparents, my wife’s grandparents, and my great-grandmother. My cousin Eric, who was my age and tragically died at the age of 27 in 1995. My cousin Todd who died of an overdose in 2015 at the age of 42. My niece Madeline, who died a few weeks after her birth. My big brother in the fraternity, Jeff, who died young. My Uncle Joe, who died at the ‘old’ age of 50 (I was 21 at the time and thought 50 was a good long life – how foolish we are when we are young.) I wish this was the entire list but life doesn’t work that way. We have the chance to build special relationships in our life and they end when they end.
My cousin Eric – he looks so young and innocentMy cousin Todd. We spoke a few days before he died and I always wonder what if I had gotten on the plane to Florida that Monday. Would it have made a difference?
Of course, my father died in September 2022. This has been the hardest of all for me, both because of the relationship we had and how much I was able to depend on him for guidance and advice. I have cried a lot about my dad, both when it happened and ongoing since then. I do believe he, and others, are my angels looking out for me. I do believe that my dad and others continue to teach me as they were so influential in my life and development that it is as if I can ask them the question and they will answer.
My dad just before my mom and I said goodnight and left his room. He died a few hours later. The sweet look on his face is one I will never forget.
I agree that nothing is a mistake. It may not be what I wanted at the time. It may not be what I would prefer. It may not be enjoyable either at the moment it happens or ever. Yet everything that happens in life shapes us into the person we are. We have the things we have in our life today because of every one of these choices. The ones we made and the ones we didn’t make. The ones we knew we were making and the ones we never even noticed.
The song ends with a repeat of the chorus and while I typically omit the chorus when it repeats, in this instance, I think it’s important to cite it one more time.
Every stoplight I didn’t make Every chance I did or I didn’t take All the nights I went too far All the girls that broke my heart All the doors that I had to close Everything I knew but I didn’t know Thank God for all I missed ‘Cause it led me here to this
It led me here to this
It’s a reminder that we face so many decisions every day in our life. It seems as if some matter and some don’t’. They all matter. They all help us become the person that we are today. They give us the life that we have today. Since my father died, I have faced a number of challenging life situations. It has shown me who in my life really cares and who was really transactional. It has also taught me that if I value people, it is MY obligation to reach out and tell them. It is MY responsibility to call or text them, even if just to say hi and I was thinking of you. I know first-hand how much those calls and texts mean. I know that sometimes they are the difference in somebody else’s life. I have the ability to take the chances, to act, and to not allow excuses of things that don’t really matter get in the way. Or I can choose not to take that action and let people fade away from my life.
This song makes me ask myself the following:
Who do I want to be?
What are my values?
What do I stand for?
How do I show my gratitude for being who I am today and for the life that I get to live today?
Am I happy with the person I am and the life that I have today? When I answer this last question with a resounding YES, it means I am accepting of every little decision or choice I have made, knowingly or unknowingly, because without them, I would not be the person I am today nor would I have the life that I have.
I do a lot of reading these days to find both accurate and interesting information. I use a lot of sources and enjoy reading differing viewpoints as I can always learn more. One of the people I enjoy reading is former NBA all-star and Hall of Famer Kareem Abdul Jabbar. While I don’t agree with every position he takes and think he misses many things in some of his analyses, he also makes me think and I would enjoy sitting down with him over a meal to discuss where we differ and why.
In his message today, he highlighted a quote by the great Muhammad Ali that resonated with me.
Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
As Kareem Abdul Jabbar wrote, “That’s how he lived his whole life: Ignoring personal consequences to help others. He inspired millions across the world. I was one of those millions.”
As a child, I loved watching Ali fight. He was a master class in showmanship. More than watching him fight, I loved listening to him talk and especially his interviews with the great sports journalist, Howard Cosell. I could listen to them talk with each other for hours, if they would have continued that long. Ali was a poet who fought. Cosell was a brilliant foil doing sports journalism. Together they defined sports in the 1970s.
Howard Cosell roasting Muhammad Ali in 1974. Their love and respect for each other is clear as they smile and laugh through the comments about each other
Some of the great highlights of Ali and Cosell during different interviews. Two very different people from very different backgrounds who found common ground, respected each other, became friends, and appreciated their differences.
Despite having incredible relationships with Howard Cosell and Billy Crystal, Ali also had a challenging relationship with the Jewish community. He had no problem speaking out loudly against Jewish promoters and slamming “Zionist control of the world”, but he also had a Jewish grandson and attended his bar mitzvah, allowing his grandson to show him the Torah and explore it together. He went to Israel and lobbying for the release of terrorists yet also publicly appealed to Muslim extremists to release Jewish journalist Daniel Pearl and attended Pearl’s funeral.
This imitation of Ali by Billy Crystal always makes me smile, both because of the talent of Crystal but also because I could imagine Ali laughing at it and wishing he had come up with the idea first. When Ali turned 50, he had Crystal perform at his birthday party.
In 1996, before lighting the Olympic flame in Atlanta, Muhammad Ali publicly stated:
“My mother was a Baptist. She believed Jesus was the son of God, and I don’t believe that. But even though my mother had a religion different from me, I believe that, on Judgment Day, my mother will be in heaven.
“There are Jewish people who lead good lives. When they die, I believe they’re going to heaven. It doesn’t matter what religion you are if you’re a good person you’ll receive God’s blessing. Muslims, Christians, and Jews all serve the same God. We just serve him in different ways.
“Anyone who believes in One God should also believe that all people are part of one family. God created us all. And all people have to work to get along.”
We live in very challenging times. Ali did as well, as a black man who converted to Islam, refused the draft, spoke his mind, lost everything, and earned it back based on his beliefs. Despite his challenges with the Jewish community, there is much we can learn from Muhammad Ali in how we choose to speak, act, and behave in our own challenging times of today.
The attacks on October 7th in Israel have fundamentally altered who I am as a person. I don’t live in Israel so how can it have done this? I have always been a passionate Zionist. Since there is so much confusion about what this means, I am going to be clearer and define this. It means I believe that the Jewish people have a right to a homeland. I believe the Jewish people have a right to self-determination. I believe that Judea and Samaria are the ancestral homeland of the Jewish people. And I believe that no matter your religion or lack of religion, if you want to be a citizen of Israel, you should be allowed to pursue citizenship. I love that there are Arab-Israelis and Druze-Israelis. It’s wonderful to visit the Baha’i Gardens in Haifa and learn about the Baha’i Israelis and their community and beliefs. There are Christian-Israelis and Bedouin Israelis. There are Ethiopian-Israelis and Palestinian-Israelis. The common thing they all have in common is that they are Israeli.
Since October 7th, I have seen an incredible amount of antisemitism and hate in the world. It fascinates me in so many ways. In many ways, the 4 sons/children from the Passover Seder can be an appropriate analogy. There are those who always have been antisemites and now don’t have to pretend. These are the wicked son/child. They are easy to see and identify. They are the ones who demand proof of Hamas raping women when they spoke out against Brett Cavanaugh. They stood chanting ‘believe all women’ and then don’t believe Jewish women. They present a challenge as I’m not sure there is anything anybody can do to about them. The slight hope that I have for these people goes back to my experience with Combatants for Peace. I became aware of them in 2019 during a trip to Israel where I spent 4 days meeting with leaders of Palestinian civil society. The members I met were across the spectrum in terms of where they came from and where they were at that time. All had begun from a place of hate. Hatred of Palestinians or hatred of Jews. All were on a quest to leave hate behind. Some were more successful than others. All were trying. For those who live in hate and recent times are enabling them to express it freely, I can only hope that at some point they decide that perhaps there is a different way to live and are willing to try to find that path.
It is sad but true that Jewish women don’t count to those people
There are a larger group of people who are behaving as antisemites, but I don’t think really are. They often begin from an honorable place, such as I don’t to see civilians die. I have some friends who are like this. As a result, they call for an immediate and permanent ceasefire to stop civilians dying in war. However, they miss the entire context. They don’t assign responsibility to Hamas, who not only began the war but also uses civilians as human shields, turns hospitals, schools, mosques, and homes into military targets. They don’t listen to the people in the north of Gaza, finally free of Hamas, who encourage Israel to finish the war by destroying Hamas. They cite the starvation and need for humanitarian aid without realizing that the aid is coming in, however UNRWA makes sure that Hamas gets it and Hamas then keeps what they need and put the rest of the black market at exorbitant prices. I have from people on the ground in Gaza who acknowledge there is plenty of food there, it’s just either in the tunnels with Hamas or so grossly overpriced on the black market that the ordinary people can’t afford it. Sending in more aid won’t solve this problem and this group of people simply isn’t looking at facts while leading with their heart. We all want the war to end. We all want the death to stop. We all want peace. It cannot and will not happen until the hostages are released and Hamas leadership surrenders. Those who call for a ‘Ceasefire Now’ or an” Immediate and permanent ceasefire” or “an immediate 2 state solution” miss the basic facts that:
A ceasefire has to be on both sides and Hamas has already said they will do more October 7th massacres. Hamas has also violated every ceasefire that Israel has been agreed to with them.
Hamas will not agree to, nor will they adhere to a permanent cease fire. They have said this publicly and many times. Why would Israel agree to something that would only be binding on them?
There can be no ceasefire, nor can there be anything permanent while the hostages remain in Gaza. Their release must occur for any ceasefire to be considered.
If Hamas remains in power, the Palestinian people in Gaza, those that these people profess to care about, will suffer greatly. The Gazans in the northern part, who are now free of Hamas, are crying for Israel to finish the job, eliminate Hamas, and grant them freedom.
You can’t give people who call for your destruction, who commit actual genocide, who are supported by Iran, who don’t respect borders, who are known to be corrupt and steal from their people, their own state as a reward for committing genocide.
These people are the simple son/child, who does not know. They are so ignorant they don’t even realize they don’t know. They use words like genocide and apartheid without knowing the meaning and when they clearly don’t apply. They say things like, “Ceasefire now, Intifada” not realizing that they are telling Israel to put down their weapons while telling the terrorists to pick their up and kill Jews. They chant “from the River to the Sea” without knowing what river, what sea, or that what they are advocating for is the elimination of Israel. They accuse Israel of genocide while they, themselves, are actually advocating for genocide! If they are truly antisemitic, it’s often because this is the new, cool, hip thing their friends are doing. They aren’t filled with hate; they are filled with stupidity. If they are willing to learn, there is a chance for them to understand. If they aren’t willing to learn, it is more likely they will end up like the wicked son/child.
They are so simple that they don’t even realize that Hamas would throw them from the roof of a building to their death for being in drag or being gay.
At the Seder table, we talk about the son/child who doesn’t know how to ask. I remember thinking to myself for years, ‘how is this different from the simple son/child?’ What’s happened since October 7th has shown me the difference. While the simple child doesn’t know enough to question what they are told and believe whatever they are old, the one who doesn’t know how to ask is oblivious to what’s going on around them. These are the people who don’t say anything at all about the atrocities committed by Hamas. They don’t comment or say anything about the incredible antisemitism we are seeing on college campuses or in major cities. A hospital protested and vandalized because it has a Jewish name doesn’t raise their ire nor does it result in a comment. People assaulted because they are Jewish or are wearing a kippah or a Jewish symbol isn’t even considered by them. They live in a world where things like this don’t exist. They aren’t antisemitic, they are totally disconnected from the reality of Jew hatred. These are the people where we have the responsibility to show them what is happening, to engage them in conversation to educate them. If we allow them to live in lala land, then we are responsible. The actress and comedienne Tiffany Haddish who discovered she was Jewish later in life has taken an active role in this. She isn’t afraid to talk about being Jewish and even publicly went to Israel recently to see and learn for herself. She even had her own ‘Black Mitzvah’. She is the example to people who don’t even know how to ask about what they can do. If she can do it, they can do it.
Since discovering that her mother was actually Jewish, Tiffany Haddish has embraced this part of her.
The final child is the wise one. This child asks for specific details about how to observe the holiday. In the post October 7th world, these are the people that continue to seek truth and challenge what they are told. They aren’t afraid to learn. They understand the difference between Jews and the Israeli government. They don’t take words like genocide, apartheid, and occupation at face value. I want to be clear that this doesn’t mean they defend Israel no matter what. They question. They challenge. They want to learn. I urge us all to strive to be the wise child. Don’t just believe what you hear or read. Be open to conversations. I had this happen regarding something it was reported that Turkish President Erdogan said. A friend, who is actually in Turkey right now, let me know that this was a translation error/issue and that he would explain in detail this week. I look forward to having him explain to me the translation issue and put it in another context.
Muhammad Ali changed his name to mark his significant change upon converting to Islam. The man named Cassius Clay ceased to exist and all that was left was a man named Muhammad Ali. The me that existed before October 7th no longer exists. The horrors of that day and what has followed has created a different version of me. In order to mark that transition, I haven’t changed my name. But I have marked my body. I have wanted to get something that would mark that change for me and for everybody who saw it. So last week, while in DC, I went with a friend to her tattoo artist and got two very personal and very meaningful tattoos. One is the quote from Mia Schem, a hostage taken from the Nova music festival and released after 55 days. She said, and then got tattooed on her arm, the words I will never forget. “We will dance again.” I now have those words on my right forearm. I also saw a design memorializing the Nova music festival. I can imagine being there listening to bands that I love. I can imagine my children being at that music festival as they love concerts and live music. So on my left forearm I got a tree with the word Nova and the date, 7-10-23 (written the Israeli way) tattooed. They are forever reminders to me and those who see them both the horrors of October and the resilience of the Jewish people. We will not go away. We will continue to be Jewish and continue to thrive. I am reminded of that every time I look at my arms. Am Yisrael Chai!
Finally, in order to add some light to the darkness, I saw this in Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s writings today and after watching it, felt I had to share it. In the Netherlands, cows are kept inside for 6 months of the year to protect them from the harsh weather. On the day they are released to the outside, crowds show up to witness the ‘Cow Dance’
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