The past few years have been crazy in America and the world. The past year, since the October 7th attacks by Hamas on Israel, have increased and/or exposed antisemitism in the world and in the United States in a scary way. I have been very vocal about my concerns about the lack of leadership by our elected officials at all levels of government as well as within the Jewish community. Those concerns remain and grow stronger every day.

This past weekend gave me hope from the PEOPLE of America. What happened? What did I experience? What did I do? How did this happen?

First of all, I want to acknowledge that it was Rosh Hashana and I celebrate the chagim different than most. Services don’t do it for me so I find other ways to connect with God. Sometimes it is at the beach. Sometimes it’s in nature. It’s usually something that has deep meaning to me and gives me a chance to assess my life, my choices, and how I want to do better in the upcoming year.

As strange as it sounds, this year, I returned to my Alma Mater, Penn State University, for the Penn State – UCLA game. How could a football weekend give me such hope during such a bleak time? It doesn’t sound reasonable let along possible. Yet it happened. On multiple levels through multiple situations. With multiple different people.

I flew out on Thursday to meet one of my best friends who is like my brother. We’ve been friends and it’s been like this for 36 years. I called him mom, mom. He calls my mom, mom. His Aunt Jean my was my Aunt Jean. My dad was like his dad and my parents treat him like a 3rd son. It’s that type of relationship. He picked me up at the airport, we grabbed lunch, caught up, and went to see his new house and to hang out with his wife, who I have known literally just as long as he has (almost to the minute!). That’s a different story for a different time.

After stopping for lunch we went to his new house, built on 125 acres. Living in the country provides a different experience. People are nicer. People take care of each other. There was a different feeling being there than in the city. A calmness. Safety. Natural community. People know who belongs and who doesn’t. They look after each other. Favors are commonplace, not to keep a count but to help others. With the hate of the last year, it was refreshing to be in a place where kindness and care was so essential to life.

On our drive to Penn State, there were four of us in the car. We spent the time talking, laughing, bonding, and connecting. I didn’t know the other two guys before we got in the car, yet by the time we got there, it felt like we had been friends for life. It was refreshing to be with people who wanted to connect, who wanted to get to know each other, and focus on similarities, not differences. On the way, we stopped at Sheetz for dinner (If you don’t know what Sheetz is, you are missing a Western Pennsylvania highlight). The common Pennsylvania battle is Sheetz vs. Wawa. As the only one with Philly roots, I chose to remain silent about the competition to enjoy the company (although I prefer Wawa). We shared the unloading of the car, shared setting things up, and enjoyed each other’s company. There was common responsibility. It wasn’t any one person’s job to do anything. It was all of our jobs to do everything. How refreshing! The focus was on the common good, not counting who did what or if somebody had done too much or not enough. We hung out, talked, watched some TV, enjoyed the company, and then went to bed, getting ready for a full next day.

Friday was golf day. The four of us spent the day on the course, enjoying a beautiful October day of sunshine and cool weather. Three of the four of us are not good golfers but we sure had a lot of fun. We played on teams for the front nine, competing against each other. By the end of the front nine, we dropped the competition and just enjoyed hitting the ball, laughing at each other, and excited about the good shots we hit. As we finished golfing, the rest of the crew coming up for the weekend arrived. We headed home, ready to shower, have guests for happy hour, and then have dinner.

The more people who showed up, the more we bonded. Everybody was different yet we focused on our similarities. Living in a world where half our country hates the other half, it was an incredible change to be with people who didn’t care about the differences, who didn’t want to focus on the problems but instead enjoy everything we had. One of the guys owns cigar shops and we listened to him, fascinated by the things he was telling us and learning from him. On a beautiful evening, we sat on the back porch, enjoying each other’s company.

I had been having a health issue for a couple of days and it wasn’t getting better. I am known to try to just power through things and not always make the smartest decisions about my health needs. Since most people, including myself, know this, I finally decided to ask my wife about what was going on. Since she’s a nurse, I probably should have asked her a few days before, but again, I’m not always the smartest when it comes to my own health. When I shared what was going on, she told me to go to the Emergency Department at the hospital right away to get seen and have it addressed. She made me promise to text her when I got there and keep her updated. She knows me too well and that without making me promise to go right way and text her when I got there, I might delay going (or find a reason not to go at all). When I shared what I needed with a couple of guys, they jumped up to volunteer to help. I had offers to take me, to wait with me, whatever I needed. I didn’t need anybody to sit with me so I took the ride, thanked everybody for their offers, and went to be seen.

As I sat waiting to be seen, sitting next to an Amish couple (yes, a real Amish couple), a number of the guys started texting me to check on me. These were people I didn’t even know two days before. The power of community and friendship was clear. I found myself remembering what it was like growing up in Central Pennsylvania, where everybody really did care about each other. Our parents always knew that somebody’s parents would be watching us, no matter who’s house we were at. Somebody’s parents would pick us up when we needed to. It was that common responsibility, just like when we arrived at the house at Penn State, that I grew up with. I found myself wondering how that had changed throughout the country and very grateful to have found it once again.

After being seen and having the pressing issue taken care of with a promise to see my doctor in Florida when I got home, I was picked up and went back to the house. The response I got was amazing. People asking how I was. People checking on me. One of the guys had a similar issue and got open and vulnerable sharing about it with me. Some of these people I hadn’t even known 24 hours and yet I mattered that much to them. It was so powerful and overwhelming. I have written and talked about how kindness costs nothing and how valuable it is, yet being on the receiving end was both surprising and overwhelming. It’s something I will never forget.

The next day was the Penn State – UCLA football game. The guys were shocked that I was going, having just been at the hospital the night before. I felt fine after they resolved my issue and I wasn’t going to miss out. Throughout the tailgate before the game, the game, and the tailgate after the game, different guys would come up to me and tell me how they shared what happened with their wife and their wife was asking about me. They couldn’t believe I was at the game, happy, and having fun.

So much of our life is determined by out attitude. Despite the health issue, despite a couple hours at the hospital, with every opportunity to look at the negatives, I only wanted to focus on the positives. I wanted to be at the tailgate with friends. I wanted to enjoy the game with friends. I wanted to focus on the good rather than the negative. We all have that choice every day. How often do we take it? How often do we get stuck in the negative, complaining, whining, missing out on the opportunities that are in front of us because we are focused on something we have no control over.

A few of the guys who are now my lifelong friends pulled me aside to talk. They got vulnerable and shared some things going on in their lives because I had taken the risk and shared what was happening with me right then and there. I wonder how many people there are that are looking for that opportunity to get vulnerable and never find it, never feel safe enough, to open up. As strange as it sounds, I found myself glad that I had the medical issue because it gave me the opportunity to be vulnerable and that then allowed others to do so as well. We live in a world where being right is so important that we forget to be human. We argue and fight over things we have no control over instead of focusing on the things that matter. People. Friends. Family.

Before we all left on Sunday, I made sure to tell them that we need to find a weekend next year that doesn’t conflict with a Penn State home game and do this for a UCF game so I can expose them to the Bounce House. There was real excitement and hopefully we can make it happen during the 2025 season. I spent roughly 3 days with these guys and they are now friends. People I want in my life moving forward. People who showed me kindness and care when I needed it. People that opened up to me and that I opened up to.

Imagine a world where instead of half the country hating the other half, we had people who cared about the other half. Not in a political manner. Not in a big picture, social justice, argue about policy manner, but as real human beings. There is something special in the Central/Western Pennsylvania area that I had forgotten, having moved from Pennsylvania to Florida in 1992. The hominess. The welcoming attitude. It’s a lesson I am glad to be have been reminded. It is a reminder that it is my responsibility to act and behave that way no matter how other people choose to act and behave. It is that reminder of the power of kindness. It is that reminder that we all want and need to connect, no matter how crusty our exterior may be, and we all have the opportunity to create that connection.

So to Master Gunny Jimmy, Steve, and Gary, my newest friends, thank you for being who you are. Thank you for reminding me of how to act and behave all the time, especially in this crazy world. Thank you for your friendship. To my friend Aric, thanks for being my brother and thanks for bringing us all together.

Now ask yourself, “How do I live my life?” Do you live in joy or in anger? Do you live in kindness or resentment? Are you willing to be vulnerable and allow others to be vunerable with you? What type of person do you want to be and what type of world do you want to live in? We all get to make those choices and we all can live in the world we desire based on our actions. We are not powerless and don’t have to accept what is being given to us. This weekend reminded me of that.

In the immortal chant based exactly on this lesson (click on it read the story), one that never gets old:

“WE ARE……………………………..PENN STATE”