These are challenging times and every day seems to be a little bit heavier than the day before. It’s almost 11 full months since the massacre of October 7th. The war in Ukraine continues in such a way that we barely see anything about it on the news. Israel continues to fight in Gaza to free the hostages and eliminate Hamas. The Houthi’s continue to disturb shipping in the Red Sea. Hezbollah continues to bomb Israel from the north. Iran gets closer and closer to obtaining a nuclear weapon. The US election is two months away and while it feels close it also feels very far away. Students are returning to school and dealing with antisemitism couched as anti-Zionism. Protesters are outside synagogues and Jewish owned businesses.

To say there is a lot going on would be an understatement. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and lost It’s easy to get angry and filled with bitterness. Feeling sad about the state of the world today seems to be the default status for most people. And yet as I write this on Thursday September 5, 2024, I am filled with gratitude and thanks. How does that make sense? I’m about to confuse you even more.

My beloved father, Barry Dvorchik z’l, died on September 6, 2022. The last time I saw him alive was on September 5, 2022. That’s right, two years ago today. My mom and I said goodnight to him, that we would see him in the morning, gave him a kiss, and left the room. Two years ago tonight.

So why would I be feeling gratitude on the anniversary of saying goodnight, that turned into goodbye, to my dad? Seems strange. I had lunch today with somebody who is connected with the man who went out of his way to get my dad into this hospital two years and three weeks ago. He didn’t have to do anything. My dad needed to get into a high level care facility, I knew he could pull strings if he was willing, so I, very uncomfortably, asked him if he would help. An hour later my dad had a bed with his name on it. The doctors and staff at the smaller hospital in Tampa were stunned. They had never seen this happen so fast. The last three weeks of my dad’s life were much more comfortable and he felt much safer and much better taken care of as a result. I owe this man a debt of gratitude I can never repay. I will forever be thankful and grateful for what he did.

In order to be transferred to that hospital, my dad also needed to have a doctor who would take him on their caseload. I called another friend who called back in less than 10 minutes with a doctor who agreed to take my dad onto his caseload, sight unseen. I’ll forever be grateful to my friend who made the ask and to the doctor who agreed. They changed the last three weeks of my dad’s life, changed my mom’s life and changed my life.

Even in the worst of times, even when things are difficult, even when it seems hopeless, when we look around us, we will find things to be grateful for. Things to say thank you for.

When I was in Israel in July, I learned about the prayer we say in the morning to thank God for letting the rooster know the difference between day and night. It’s not only something to be grateful for, that the rooster doesn’t crow at midnight instead of sunrise, but also for the beauty of nature. When I wake up each morning, I thank God for letting me wake up and experience the beauty of that day. Just like we are grateful for the rooster and for nature, I can be grateful that I have the opportunity to be alive today.

My parent taught me the value of family. It was a lesson I learned as a child and was reinforced continuously through my life. We spent holidays together with family. We spent summer vacations together with family. We didn’t miss family celebrations. I have incredbile memories of all the time we spent at my grandparent’s beach cottage with family. Thanksgiving and Passover with my cousins and grandparents. Friday night Shabbat dinner was a requirement for all of us before we could go out with friends. Nothing comes before family.

Last week I had the opportunity to go watch my oldest son coach college football against NC State. There was no way I was going to miss it. There is no way to describe what it was like to watch him doing what he loves as he builds his career. As I sat there watching, all I could think of was my dad and how proud he would be not just of his grandson but that his son learned the lesson of family. I’m heading up to watch him coach in the home opener this weekend. How lucky am I?

A couple of weeks ago, my youngest son Matthew and I (along with a friend) took at 6 am flight to San Fransisco to watch the Giants play the White Sox and cross another baseball stadium off our list that we have visited. After the game, we headed to Oakland to watch the A’s play the Rays and cross a second stadium off our list. Finally, we headed to the airport to take the redeye home. This was a week after we took Brightline to Miami for a Marlins game and a another stadium marked off the list while taking it back the same day. Two days. Three stadiums. Florida and California. A bit crazy. Incredible fun. Lots of time with my son. Priceless. I could see my dad smiling down, grateful that I learned the lesson.

A few weeks before these trips, my wife and I flew to Denver to see Carlos Santana and The Counting Crows at Red Rocks. It was always something I wanted to do – a concert at Red Rocks – and seeing Santana there made it even better. I remember my parents taking trips like this when I was growing up. We had so much fun and once again I could see my dad smiling down, reminding me how rich I am because of family. Because of the time I get to spend with family.

On Monday we went to meet my mom in Lakeland for our monthly lunch. It’s halfway for each of us and a great way to see each other and spend a little time together. Time is the great equalizer. We never have enough of it. It’s the one thing we can never get back and money won’t buy. When it’s gone, it’s gone. I love our lunches and look forward to them. I miss my dad but know he’s so happy that the lesson he taught about the value of family are truly embedded within me.

I remember being told when I had kids to treasure every moment I had with them because the time would come when they wouldn’t want to hang out with me. I would no longer be ‘cool’ and once it was gone, it would be gone. I am lucky. While I may no longer be ‘cool’ (and they will tell you I never was to begin with!) that day has not come in my life. My kids enjoy spending time with me. We go on trips together, vacation together, hang out together. Every day when I wake up, I thank God for my family, for those I love, and for giving me such a great gift.

For me it isn’t just my immediate family. It’s not just my brother, sister and their families. It’s not my sister-in-laws and their families. It’s not my in-laws. It’s my cousins. My aunts and uncles. My ‘sisters from another mister’ and my ‘brothers from another mother’. I won’t even try to name them all because I will ultimately miss somebody and don’t want to. I am lucky to have all of that. No matter what is going on in the world, I know that I have a lot to be grateful for. I have such incredible gifts in my life – amazing people that are my family.

I encourage you to take a look at the gifts in your life. Yes, these are crazy times. These are scary times. There is much we would change if we had the power to do it. Even more importantly, there is so much to be grateful for. There is so much to appreciate. Wednesday I will board yet another flight to Israel. My third trip since May. My 23rd overall trip. How lucky am I? I was talking to a friend today and he said, “I don’t know that there is anybody who loves Israel more than you.” I do love Israel. Lots of people love Israel. Yet I am the lucky one that gets to go and go often. Go regularly.

What are the things in your life that you take for granted? Stop for a minute. Pause. Look around and think. Appreciate the wonderful gifts in your life. It may be family. It may be friends. It may be the beauty of nature. It may be peace and happiness. It may be something else. We all have them. We all have so much to be grateful for if you take a minute to look and pay attention.

In a few hours it will be the two year anniversary of my father’s last breath. A great loss for me, my family, and the world. Yet I am filled with gratitude. Gratitude for the time I got to spend with him. Gratitude for the life lessons he taught me. Gratitude that he was my dad.

It doesn’t get any better than that. Thank you God. Thank you Dad.