Over the past 25 years, I have attended the AIPAC Policy Conference many times.  Having the opportunity to listen to incredible speakers, attend great breakout sessions, and lobby on Capitol Hill always made it a highlight. 

I have great memories of taking 40+ students from The University of Florida to the conference year after year.  Meeting with key Florida politicians and influential leaders for photos.  Our Saturday night dinner in Chinatown became legendary and the donor who underwrote it would fly up for the dinner and not stay for the conference, just to interact with the students.  I met my friend and teacher, Dr. Ken Stein, at AIPAC Policy Conference after attending his sessions and being blown away with the information he presented. That is now close to a 20-year friendship.

Perhaps the most important thing that I learned at the AIPAC Policy Conference came in 2009, when the theme was “Relationships Matter”.  I met my friend Reverend Ken Flowers at that conference.  I was named one of AIPAC’s Campus Allies at that conference.  Neither of them were the most important thing at that conference.  The topic, “Relationships Matter” was the most important thing from that conference.

That was a transformational moment for me as I began to understand the need to build relationships across all levels.  People of different religions, cultures, political beliefs, etc.  What hit me strongly was that in order to be successful we needed to bridge divides, have real relationships with people, and get involved BEFORE you asked for anything in return.  In a country and a world which was already transactional and one that has since become even more transactional, these real relationships matter.  They are what change the world.

Over the past 14 years, that is what I have strived to do.  I have relationships with political leaders of both major parties.  Friendships with these people.  I reach out because of the relationship, not because I want or need anything.  And they reach out as well.  I love getting a Hanukkah card from the White House, regardless of who is the President.  When my Senator sends me a little handwritten note about something, it has special meaning.  When my member of the US House of Representatives texts me a note or a question, it is part of real relationship.  When members of the Florida House of Representatives text or we talk, it is not because I’m trying to get them to vote a certain way but rather because we engage in old fashioned conversation. 

I have friends who are leaders in the Christian and Muslim community.  Leaders in African-American community and the LBGTQ+ community.  I have friends who are Arabs and Christians living in East Jerusalem, Bethlehem, and Nablus.  I have spent time talking and learning from people who were raised to hate Jews and joined violent organizations that attacked Jews, some of them even murdered Jews in Israel, before undergoing a transformation and striving to learn and build relationships with people they never even considered people.  I’ve previously written about one of them, Ali Abu Awaad, who inspires me regularly with his work towards Palestinian non-violence and finding a new way to build a different relationship with Israel that can lead to a long lasting peace.

Early this morning I got a message from my friend who is a leader in the local Muslim community.  We became friends a few years ago and have done some volunteer work together.  I have visited his mosque a number of times and feel comfortable there.  He has gone through some personal challenges recently and I regularly check on him.  His current volunteer work needs some help and so, as his friend, I am helping.  His note this morning was:

    Good Morning Keith.  I am at the mosque for the morning prayer and I remembered you.  I will

    say a prayer for you.  Stay blessed.

    Thought of the day

    “Love is the devotion to the well-being of others without regard to the cost.”

My heart filled with joy as I read it because my friend not only thought of me on a random Saturday morning but was moved to include me in his prayers and share a little wisdom.

My friends are like a bag of skittles – all colors, flavors, and types.  The commonality they all have is the type of person that they are.  As the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. famously said:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

That’s how I pick my friends.  The content of their character.  That is how I invest in relationships.  The content of their character.  That’s how people inspire me.  The content of their character.

Recently I have been surprised and inspired by the words of a major public figure.  It usually takes a lot to surprise me, but US Senator John Fetterman has done so.  I was not impressed when he ran for Senate.  For the first part of his term, I only saw somebody who appeared to be hanging around, almost mocking what it mean to be a US Senator.  In the aftermath of October 7^th, I realize how wrong I was and how I was not judging him by the content of his character but rather the image that was presented.  Senator Fetterman has spoken out powerfully and clearly about the terrorist group Hamas.  He speaks out regularly about the need for all the hostages taken by Hamas to be released.  He hung the pictures of all the hostages in his office.  He doesn’t celebrate the violence and terror of October 7^th nor does he celebrate the horrors of the war since then.  He doesn’t demand a cease-fire that will accomplish nothing but more future terror and death but speaks the truth – if Hamas returns all the hostages and surrenders, there will be a cease fire.  But not before.   He is taking major criticism from many in his party because of this yet he continues to hold true to his values.  He is truly showing us the content of his character.

In today’s crazy world where it is easy to judge somebody by the 10 second clip they play on the news (often out of context) or the way a certain news channel may present them, or how a journalist chooses to frame a story, Senator Fetterman has reminded me that relationships matter.  That getting to know people before judging them matters.  That investing time and energy into a relationship, whether your world views agree or collide, is beneficial and important.

As I begin my new career arc, I often get asked what’s my favorite part of the work.  My answer is consistent.  I get to work with people that I like and respect.  I get to help people accomplish their goals and the goals for their organization.  I get to work for clients that I want to work for, and we get to build a relationship together.  I choose to not have them be transactional relationships but something deeper.  It’s meaningful.  And isn’t that what life is all about?  Finding meaning?  That theme in 2009 was so accurate.  Relationships Matter.