Tag: learning

Can learning the Torah actually be fun and exciting???

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

A number of years ago, I was exposed to Jewish learning in a different way.  Instead of the boring lecture style of a classroom, I was in a group of 3 where one of us was the leader and would guide us into a discussion of Jewish text.  We spent months over a weekly lunch discussing the book of Daniel.  It was fun and interesting and something that I looked forward to each and every week.  It was very unlike my Hebrew School experience which I found boring.  I never thought that learning Jewish texts could be both fun and interesting.  I learned that I was wrong.

Since then, I have had the opportunity to learn with a few different people.  It’s something that I enjoy as I have found it to be intellectually challenging.  With a good learning partner, it’s not about the dry words, it’s about how the words come to life.  What can we learn from the words and the teachings that apply to our lives TODAY?  How does it impact the choices we make now?

I want to share a few examples of this from my own life and experiences. 

Many years ago, at UF Hillel, I gave a D’var Torah (sermon) on one of the High Holidays.  I talked about how for many years, I found the Torah to be a dusty old scroll.  It wasn’t relevant.  It wasn’t that interesting, especially since I didn’t speak Hebrew.  And, quite honestly, I preferred the movie (The 10 Commandments, still a favorite.)   I shared how I was exposed to this different type of Torah learning.  How it was a discussion and debate.  How I could ask questions and disagree and argue my points of view with another person.  They would argue back, and it would be a passionate conversation.  We would understand each other and sometimes agree at the end, and sometimes still disagree.  How it was intellectually challenging even if I wasn’t a Torah scholar and couldn’t speak Hebrew. 

One of my most memorable experiences with this type of learning happened in Israel when we visited Hebron, where the tombs of the Matriarchs and Patriarchs are (other than Rachel).  We sat between the tombs of the Patriarch Abraham and the Matriarch Sarah, which was surreal by itself, and discussed the story when God told Sarah she was going to have a baby when she was 90 years old, and she laughed.  My friend Harry Rothenberg led the learning session.  What did that mean?  What could it mean?  We dissected the story and the different possibilities.  It was fascinating hearing all the different possible interpretations of this story.  At the end, Harry shared his interpretation.  How it was really a love story between Abraham and Sarah.  How it was about communication and honesty between partners.  How it described not just their relationship but included relationship lessons for us today.  It wasn’t anything that I had contemplated before we sat down or during the conversation.  And then I thought how amazing it was to be talking about the love story of Abraham and Sarah while sitting between their burial tombs.  It is an experience I will never forget.

A year later, back in Israel with Harry, we were climbing Masada.  I’ve climbed Masada with both the snake path and Roman path many times.  The Roman path is pretty easy and quick.  The snake path is longer, harder, and more meaningful.  This morning we took the snake path.  I had been having some health issues and probably should have take the cable care to the top instead, but I was stubborn and chose poorly.  As I was making the long climb, I found myself needing to stop very frequently to catch my breath and let my heart rate slow down.  Everybody else passed me and a couple of friends slowed down to stay with me as we made the climb together.  Harry started late and came upon us.  He joked about me resting until I told him what was going on.  He then said he’d walk with us slowly as well.  I then challenged him – use this moment to teach me a little Torah.  I figured I had stumped him!!  Instead, he thought for a minute and told me the following story.

When Moses led the Jewish people to the edge of entering Israel, he was not permitted to enter the land.  He begged God thousands of times to please change his mind and let him enter the land.  God would not relent and change his mind.  However, after all of Moses’s pleading, God told Moses to climb to the top of the mountain where he would be able to see all of Israel.  Moses climbed the mountain and looked out at all of Israel.  His heart broke into pieces at the beauty and that he wouldn’t be able to enter the land.  It is those pieces of Moses’s heart in all of us that creates our longing and love for Israel. 

Harry took a Torah lesson, applied it to the mountain we were climbing, and our love and passion for Israel.  It was a beautiful moment.  He has a weekly video blog that I encourage you to check out. It’s 3-4 minutes and I find it interesting each week.

This week’s video blog by Harry Rothenberg, an attorney who is the best Jewish educator I have ever experienced.

When I lived in Seattle, I spent some time with Rabbi Levitin, the head of Chabad for the Pacific Northwest.  One day at lunch, he was talking about a big talk he was about to give.  The topic was about surrogacy and donor sperm/eggs.  He then went to the Torah to cite passages that apply to various circumstance for surrogacy.  Something we couldn’t contemplate at the time of the Torah, yet it applies today.  We discussed how it might affect a couple if it was the man’s sperm and a donor’s egg.  What if it was donor sperm and the woman’s egg?  And what if it was donor sperm and a donor egg?  Did it matter if the egg was implanted in a surrogate or in the woman who wanted the baby?  Is there a difference in how parents would treat a child they ended up having biologically instead of one of the other ways?  Fascinating topics and discussion points, all tied back to Torah lessons and commentators from centuries ago.

Now I learn with Rabbi Ehrenkranz from JOIN Orlando.  Each week we meet to study and learn Torah.  We meet in a public place, usually a Starbucks or Krispy Kreme.  While I don’t wear a kippah all the time, I put one on when I learn Torah out of respect and in honor of what I am doing.  So we sit in public, both wearing kippot, our siddurs open, reading out loud and discussing what we are reading.  We also use the Sefaria app (a free download and really a great resource that is now adding Lord Rabbi Jonathan Sachs teachings to it) to study what the commentators said over thousands of years.  We discuss, often debate, and I push him to better explain to me the things I either don’t understand or don’t agree with.  Most of the time he is able to do it but there are still things that I struggle with and that’s ok.  It’s part of the process.  I just hope that I don’t frustrate him too much with my questions and challenges!

Usually nobody bothers us, but I remember one time when a man came over and asked if we were doing bible study.  When we told him yes, his response was, “Cool!” and he walked away.  As I think about what happened in the UK yesterday when a man was threatened with arrest because he was wearing a kippah while a pro-Palestinian march was going on because him being Jewish was threatening to them, I am grateful we can learn publicly in Orlando.  I also wonder when/if that will change here. 

On two of my last three trips to Israel, I had the chance to go to a Yeshiva in Jerusalem on Thursday night for an hour-long learning session from 11 pm until midnight.  Usually I’m asleep well before 11 pm (I have gotten old).  I was worried I would fall asleep in the middle of it and embarrass myself.  Yet when it started, it was interesting and exciting.  It was a legal discussion.  It was back and forth.  Voices raised a bit.  Excitement when somebody thought they had the answer.  Disappointment when the explanation showed they were wrong but vindication when their thought process was affirmed.  The hour went fast.  The Rabbi teaching us shared his explanation.  It was great.  And then we had chicken poppers and cholent while hanging out.  What a fun night.  So much fun that it now happens in Orlando as well.  I don’t go often but enjoy it when I do.  There is a good crowd of regular people like me, not Torah scholars, who enjoy the back and forth.  We have to think thoroughly.  We build off prior lessons.  We do it together. 

Learning at the Yeshiva in Israel – it was captivating

Being Jewish is often seen as being a burden.  In fact, Rabbi Ehrenkranz and I talked this week about how being Jewish means you are taking on more responsibilities.  How we are the chosen people because we have chosen to take on these responsibilities.  If you are like me, then as a child you weren’t given meaningful Jewish content.  You never had the chance to argue with a teacher about Jewish topics.  It was bible stories and boring things.  Judaism was the thing for my parents and not something that was meaningful to me.  And yet that changed dramatically for me as I got past what and how I was taught as a child and understood the meaning that was possible.  I’m far from Orthodox.  I don’t go to synagogue.  I don’t keep kosher.  Yet I find the teachings of the Torah fascinating.  I find the exploration of Jewish texts to be relevant and impactful.  Hanging mezuzahs, putting on tefillin (occasionally), lighting shabbat candles, the Hanukkiah, baking challah, and other Jewish rituals are meaningful to me.  I’m excited to build a sukkah in my backyard this year.  I don’t think I’ll sleep in it, but I will enjoy building it and eating in it and hanging out in it.  It’s fun.  Judaism can be fun.  Learning Torah can be fun. 

So much fun singing Hotel California with this Hassid at Mamilla Mall in Jerusalem – proof that being Jewish can be fun.

So if you decide you want to start a journey like I did with Jewish learning in this way, let me know.  I’ll find somebody for you to learn with so you can find the joy that I have.  I encourage you to try – I’m willing to bet you won’t be disappointed.

Dancing at the Kotel on Friday night – so much fun being Jewish

SUPERHEROES DON’T ALWAYS WEAR CAPES

Posted on by Keith Dvorchik

I have hear this statement a great deal lately.  Most often it has related to the heroes of the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) who are defending both Israel and the Jewish people in a war against evil.  The specific names today are Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, and Iran.  It is an age old hatred that threatens not just the Jewish people but the civilized world.  This video expresses it well.

These aren’t the only superheroes that don’t wear capes.  They live among us and too often we don’t even realize it until they are gone.  On Sunday night, a childhood friend posted an update about one of them.  Unfortunately, it was the news of his death.  The gratifying part of seeing this post was that his impact had been so great for so long, that we didn’t just realize that we knew an actual superhero that didn’t wear a cape upon his passing.  So who was this amazing person?

Richard Rome was a middle school math teacher.  Let that sink in fully.  The superhero without a cape that I am talking about taught 6-8 grade children math.  He was my teacher somewhere between 1978-1981.  Middle school math.  That’s what he taught.  In the 1970s and 1980s.  40-50 years ago.  Or at least that was what he formally was tasked with educating us about. 

Even his obituary is teaching us something as it tells us to plant a tree.

Mr. Rome, as we all called him both in class and for the next 40-50 years, was so much more than a math teacher.  While we were formally his student, he was a human being, a leader, a role model, a friend, a mentor, and a person who made math important, understandable, and relatable.  While he cared about teaching us math and helping us understand the broader implications of it, he cared more about molding us into good human beings. 

Mr. Rome’s middle school math class in the late 70s
Mr. Rome’s ‘math humor’ was decades ahead of ‘dad jokes’ and always made us smile no matter how old we are.

People often talk about finding something you love to do, and you’ll never work a day in your life.  While I believe that Mr. Rome did truly enjoy teaching math, I don’t think that is what he loved to do.    I think he truly loved being able to have an impact on young people’s lives and help mold them into good citizens, good people.  I think over the years, his true joy came from hearing stories about our lives, our children, our spouses, and for many, our grandchildren.  What makes me think this?  It’s actually pretty easy to come to this assessment of Mr. Rome.  It’s because so many of us still kept in touch with him.  How many people in their mid to late 50s or early 60s keep in touch with their MIDDLE SCHOOL MATH TEACHER?  That’s exactly the point.  He wasn’t just a math teacher.  He knew it.  We knew it.  And all of us appreciated it. I went to his Facebook page today to see if there were any other updates.  What I saw was amazing.  It wasn’t a formal posting but rather that we had 63 friends in common.  This means that there are 64 of us from his class in 1978-1981 who were still connected to him.  What a legacy – that 45 years later, so many of your math students are still connected to you.  I promise you it wasn’t about math and any math questions we had for him were entirely so we could help our children or grandchildren with their math homework!

Mr Rome surrounded by students
More studnents with Mr. Rome.

Mr. Rome posted this exchange with permission from a former student a while ago.  It’s how we all feel about him which is why I want to share it with you.

I asked one of my former students if I could post this so everyone could read exactly what she wrote to me. She sent me this on FB messenger. I appreciate it so much:

“Let me tell you. You singlehandedly are responsible for the most positive experience with Math I’ve ever had. Through that experience, you are indirectly responsible for my career path and choices. It is my pleasure to help you in your time of need. I may not have been the best or most docile math student, but you let me conquer the obstacles in my path. Thank you sir for your dedication to all the students at Susquehanna. I’m so lucky to have been able to have you as my teacher. My thoughts and prayers for your improved health and recovery'”

“Kim, ahh, thank you so much for the kind words. I deeply appreciate it. <smiling>”

“Your teaching means a lot to your students.”

He liked to share his math humor with us as kids and as adults.  A few things that he said that make me smile and remember why his class was one we all liked are:

To My Former Math Students: In honor of 3/14, I will repeat what I told every one of my math classes. Pie R Round; Cake R Squared. <smiling>

Also, remember the formula for Circumference of a Circle C = Pie x D, or C = who ate D Pie!

I went back to our last Facebook messenger chat, regrettably too long ago.  There are two comments that jump out to me.  More than 40 years after being in his class, Mr. Rome stated,

“Keith, I was wondering why I did not hear from you. I trust you and your family are well. Take care, Keith.”

So 40+ years later, he honestly wondered why he hadn’t heard from me.  That’s the relationship he had with his students.  After I explained what had been going on in my life and why I hadn’t reached out in a bit, he replied,

“That’s ok. As long as you are healthy, that is what it is all about, Keith <smiling>”

So, he wasn’t so talented with the use of emojis, he knew how to communicate.  I updated him about my family and particularly my children and what they were doing, and he responded.

“Keith, congrats “big fella.” <smiling>”

I wonder how many of his other students he had similar conversations with on a regular basis.  More than I can imagine.  A superhero without a cape.

Over the last few years, Mr. Rome began have some health issues and related financial issues.  His MIDDLE SCHOOL MATH STUDENTS, now in their 50s and 60s, created a GoFundMe for him.  I see this happening when active teachers have family, health, or economic challenges.  I have never seen it for somebody who many of us haven’t seen in person for 30 or 40 years.  As Kim wrote to Mr. Rome, he changed not just her life but all of our lives.   And he continued to teach us throughout life. 

Mr. Rome math humor was years ahead of being a ‘dad joke’.

Every year near Christmas, Mr. Rome would post this story about his parents and his childhood.  Even though he had retired from teaching many years ago, he knew he could teach us how to be good people, good human beings, and to improve our portion of the world.  He always took advantage of the opportunities to help us to be better people.  At 56, Mr. Rome continues to teach me.  There are so many lessons that even though he won’t physically be here to teach, he has inspired others to teach on his behalf.  Here is his reminder every year about making a difference in your community.

There is one day of the year that I miss my mom and dad even more that the rest of the year My father, Earl Rome, along with his brother, Isadore Rome, owned and operated an independent supermarket, Rome’s Superette. Every Christmas Eve they would host a Christmas Eve informal get together. Usually, around 250 of his loyal customers would drop in and relax and unwind before mid-night Mass. My mother would make all kinds of little finger sandwiches, Mrs. Boyle would bring her famous chopped liver mold, and many of their customers would bring bottles of booze to share. My dad, being Jewish, had a customer base that was 95 percent Christian. Some of his bigger customers were Catholic Churches.

That was back in the day when churches had large rectories, including lots of priests and lots of nuns. St. Ignatius Church was my dad’s best customer. They had a large parish, and, at the annual Christmas Eve party, usually Monsignor Gagen, along with a few of his priests, would attend the party. It was my job to usher the Monsignor out the back door so that his parishioners would not see him stone cold drunk. What was funny was that all members of his church knew he drank like a fish, but we kept up the pretense. anyway. It was the one night of the year that my father, may he rest in peace, got loaded. His favorite line of the night he used at every party was “Open up your song books to hymn number 64. If you do not like hymn number 64, we can sing hymn number 32 twice.”

My dad, a Jewish businessman, had a great relationship with the Catholic community. When he died in 1976, at the age of 62, over 1500 people came to the Shiva, including the Monsignor and a number of priests and nuns. I often “hark back” to those days and smile. The true meaning of brotherhood and what most religions preach was evident on Christmas Eve, at Rome’s Superette, in Kingston, Pa, for 44 years, ending in 1976.

As I read this story once again, the day after gathering with friends for Purim, I wonder what the world would look like if we all gathered for these types of celebrations, regardless of our religion.  If we truly created local communities of people who got to know each other as people, could we put an end to the growing hate that poisons our world?  It’s a conversation I’d like to have with Mr. Rome.  It is one that I will have with my local community leaders to see how we can replicate what used to happen in Kingston, PA until 1976.

As I said, Mr. Rome was more than just a middle school math teacher.   He taught us his entire life.  Here is another lesson from Mr. Rome. Notice that even though we are in our 50s and 60s when he wrote this, we are still ‘boys and girls’ to him.

I chose this picture because I can imagine him sitting like this in front of us while telling us this story.

Good Morning Boys and Girls. Rather than teach a lesson involving grammar or math, I am going to tell you a story that is fitting during the holiday season.

1967 was my first year of teaching. I taught 6th grade at Sara Lindemuth Elementary School. The other 6th grade teacher was Mrs. Sollenberger. It was the last day before Christmas vacation. Both 6th grade classes had a combined Christmas party. The kids all brought a gift that cost 50 cents and each child got to pick out a present. The kids wanted Mrs. Sollenberger and me to open our presents. Mrs. Sollenberger went first. There were the usual assortment of gifts. She opened her gifts and thanked each kid as she read the card that accompanied each gift. The next gift she opened was wrapped in a small box. When she opened the box and read the card, there were chuckles and some of the kids were laughing. In the box was an old pin. It was ugly looking and some of the stones were missing. When she read the card, she realized that this gift was from Debbie. Debbie was the daughter of migrant workers. Her clothes were usually dirty, and her hair went often times, unwashed. Debbie was not a very good student and let’s just say she was not the most popular girl in 6th grade. It was at that moment when Mrs. Sollenberger did something I will never forget.

She told Debbie that her present was her favorite of all the presents she received. She made a point of asking Debbie to pin the pin on her dress. The smile on Debbie’s face said it all. She was so happy. It took a few minutes, but then the other kids got involved in the spirit of that moment and what I observed was like a transformative moment in time. One girl told Debbie that her pin was so pretty. Another girl said to Debbie that I can see why Mrs. Sollenberger liked her present best of all. Several kids asked Debbie if she wanted some extra Christmas cookies. Kids can be very cruel sometimes. But in this special moment, even some of the boys who often picked on Debbie and made fun of her, were actually nice and a few of the boys said some nice things to Debbie. For the first time in her life, Debbie was the “star of the show.” Almost every kid in class joined in the fun. Mrs. Sollenberger continued to make a “big deal” about Debbie’s pin. Debbie could not stop smiling.

When it was my turn to open my presents, in my mind I thought, how am I going to react when I open the present from Debbie? In a small box was an old rusty tie pin, shaped like an arrow. Following Mrs. Sollenberger’s example, I told Debbie that my father had a tie clip similar to this one and I always loved it. I wore the tie clip the rest of the day. I take no credit. Mrs. Sollenberger is the one that set the tone. Mrs. Sollenberger then did a special arts and crafts project with the kids. She told them they had to work in pairs. It was both heartwarming and amusing when the kids started fighting over who would be Debbie’s partner. Finally, the school day was over, and the kids were dismissed. I had a moment with Mrs. Sollenberger, and I said to her “Mary, you made one kid very happy today. She will never forget this day.” Mrs. Sollenberger just smiled and said thank you.

The kids returned from vacation and, for the most part, nothing out of the ordinary happened the rest of the school year. Occasionally, Mrs. Sollenberger and I wore our presents from Debbie, and she always smiled more than usual on that day. I would like to tell you that Debbie’s “one shining moment” continued, but that was not the case. Debbie’s grades did not really improve. Her clothes were still dirty, her hair went unwashed. She was usually quiet and did not have a lot of friends. Mrs. Sollenberger is long gone. May she rest in peace. Debbie’s family moved out of the school district, and I never heard from her again. I would like to think her life has been filled with moments that were more positive than negative. Debbie had a tough life as a child. But there was one moment in time when Debbie was a star. She had a huge smile on her face, and I have a feeling she will remember that day, always. Her teacher, with one simple heartfelt gesture and some kind words, made Debbie feel extra special. That day, Mrs. Sollenberger exemplified what it means to be a teacher.  I have never forgotten that moment that happened almost fifty years ago.  Take care.

I hope you can get a sense of how special a man Mr. Rome was.  How he impacted lives when we were in 6-8th grade and how that impact continued throughout our lives.  How it shaped us into being better people.  I look at some of my friends from that time and see how they have chosen to impact the world and it is all truly a tribute to Mr. Rome.  It doesn’t matter what their success in life has been, it seems they all find some way to give back.  They find some way to try to help a Debbie that they encounter or inspire a Kim in her life’s journey.

The world lost a legend at the end of last week when Mr. Rome died. Yet he continues to live on through all of his ‘kids’ that he invested in and that invested in him as well. He lives through our volunteer week, our charitable giving, the way each of us, in our way, does what Mr. Rome taught us. Not math. He taught us to be good human beings. He taught us to care about other people. He taught us that no matter what the seemingly reason we were together (in his case teaching math) we are really together to build relationships and to build friendships. We are there to better ourselves, better the lives of those around us, and better the world.

Thank you will never be enough Mr. Rome. While I only had you as a math teach for 2-3 years, I have had the privilege of having you as a life teacher for 45 years and as a friend for nearly 40 years. And although I am not a teacher in a school, I will do my best to honor you and what you invested in all of us to continue to invest in ‘my kids’ for the future as they have a piece of my heart just as you do. Rest in Peace Mr. Rome. Your memory will always be a blessing to so many people Baruch Dayan HaEmet. Your legacy is secure. I’m gonna go and be a little teary now because you taught us all that’s ok.

https://www.rosenbergfuneralchapel.com/obituary/RICHARD-ROME?fbclid=IwAR3DXjGYV8Nd7czTkqkaY-XWdH3EvbSIRRmI4SaowybpjVyxFacMbdWn5sg#tributewall